Fluttershy's warm breath blew over my chest fur while she looked up at me with big, wide eyes that weakly shone in the reflected moonlight, her right hoof languidly trying to embrace me around the neck while the other hoof was folded against her own chest. I, for my part, was petting her mane gently and smiling, looking down into her eyes, asking her a silent question and soon being answered by nigh-imperceptible shifts in her pupils and face, shifts that I had learned to translate.

"Did you like it?" I asked her, already knowing the answer.

"Y-yes... I did, honey." she said as she made the effort to raise her entire head "I-I liked it a lot... I like fun diapee changies."

I chuckled a little, quickly reminded of the salty aftertaste brought by what I did for her; the sound of the always-pleasing squeaks she produced, pleased by my performance just as much as my own enjoyment; and of the sight of her face during it, red as her rose and just as kissable.

"Of course you do~" I said, giving her forehead a light peck and petting her back slowly and carefully, just as she extended her mouth forth and tried giving me a kiss, trying to move her tongue past my teeth but barely going beyond my lips. I, after recoiling a smidge, decided to join my tongue with hers, following her head as she tilted it around slowly like a cradle of a time almost forgotten by memory.

But my mind was not going to let the last fires of my passion die out for the night in peace, not if it meant break the promise I made to myself during the day. As we slowly parted our lips, leaving a small trail of saliva behind us, I quickly tried to find the correct words to bring up the matter.
"Although..."

"Oh dear... what's bothering you?" her eyebrow arched as a frown formed on her face, almost as if it was trying to stop me from talking about what had to be spoken about: but no amount of cute faces, of tiredness, of unwillingness, of fear was going to be ever enough to let silence fall on the matter, nor could I have ever hoped to hide it any deeper.

"Although I feel there is something more to those changes than you may think,» I said «believe me, it was not easy for me either to accept it, but I feel that there is no other interpretation available."

Her eyebrow went higher and her frown got deeper, now that her eyes had expanded in size somehow.

"W-w-what do you m-mean?"

"By that I mean that I would like to..." I gulped, taking all my courage in both forehooves to say it "do what we do here to real, actual foals of the age you pretend to have in the bedroom."

I looked down at her, seeing her biting her lower lip, a couple of tears flowing down in what I assumed was shock at the revelation of such a thing.

"L-like… everything?" I nodded slowly with my eyes closed "Even using dildos?"

"Yes."

"You’d like to diaper them, a vibrator up their butt, leaving them like that for hours?"

"I would like it indeed."

"But… why?" she stared at me, her eyes as a counterpoint to her plead of an explanation that made sense to her, one I was unable to properly provide. But I did not want to give up on trying, not with her asking for it so strongly.

"If I knew, I would also know how to fix it," I said downhearted "I just do like it. Believe me, I have been thinking about it for a long time until now, checking for all the cases that went against the thesis, and yet could not find a better explanation. Even if I never knew it until recently, I never did this because I found the prospect of you in a diaper, in layman’s terms, 'hot' or anything like that, but because I… I saw you like an actual little filly, one that gave me consent to exploit her."

Fluttershy stared at me for a few more seconds, before turning around, throwing the covers away and skittering away from me, her wings flapping rapidly, as if moving them would have hidden her from my view.

I lifted my right hoof, but words died in my throat as I realized what had just done and what was best for me and my relationship with Fluttershy. I lowered it and instead laid on my back, looking up at my crystal ceiling, the fading reflections of the night sky outside filling my sight, but not catching my focus at all.

"Maybe… maybe I should have been silent about this… for our relationship’s sake. After all, this isn’t exactly what one could call 'normal pillow talk' or… anything else acceptable in polite society." I muttered to myself as I kept making my gaze wander around the room, subconsciously not even trying to lower my level to my bed’s "She has always been far too delicate to accept major emotional shocks…"

I sighed deeply, my eyes wandering still.

I suppose there is not much I can do right now... I turned my head towards the window, and saw that it was already dawning, so I took my covers and pulled them onto me.

I better get some sleep before my routine starts, before my duties will call me. I thought, covering myself entirely, wrapping my body in a lavender cocoon of fine silk, and closing my eyes shortly after.

A few hours later, when I got out of bed, washed myself and had breakfast, I had gone to my studio, telling Spike to not disturb me unless called.

I dragged my steps on the stoneware tile floor, using my magic to open up the case containing my four brass stamps first and align yesterday’s stack closer to the center of the table second.

I sat on the pillow-chair, took the first document, a petition for a land grant over a well close to Applejck’s orchard. I stamped it and put it to my right, next to the stamps’ case. I took another document. I stamped it. I took another one. I stamped it. I took another one. I stamped it.

I stopped, sighing, placing the stamp back into the case, noticing that I had stamped the last two ones in random places and that I hadn’t even checked what stamp I had in my magical grasp, only now noticing I just had given them a “rejected” stamp to all four.

After scanning for their codes, I crumbled the four documents in a ball, as I took a pencil and a blank sheet of paper, writing down those codes, adding “requesting copy-- error in the approval process.”

Afterwards, I took a new document, starting to read from the top.

"I, Loud Explosion, born in Fillydelphia on the twentieth of March twenty-five-elven, hereby appeal Her Majesty Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship and Duchess of Ponyville, Marchioness of the Everfree and Baroness of Longdonhead and of Flag Hill and all other Her domains, in date twenty-eight of May twenty-five-sixty-one, for the renewal of my ownership contract of the firing range, located in Ponyville in the Sanctuary area, for the next ten years with all the conditions established in the contract signed in the ten of June twenty-five thirty-six..."

"Twilight… I-I can’t…"

Hearing Fluttershy’s voice all of the sudden, I gasped and turned around, cautiously looking around me, but I did not see anyone inside my studio.

"C-come in… ?" I said, forcing a grin on my face, before realizing that no one had answered my question. I shook my head and went back to look at the document, but my concentration was gone already: as soon as I set my eyes upon the words written on the document, my mind refused to register their meaning, going far away instead.

You should get to Fluttershy and explain your point of view. Or maybe you could try to remind her of your experience with Flurry Heart, or with the Crusaders and their classmates, or the hospitalized foals… she used to bear the Element of Kindness, right? She should be capable to accept for who you are, once the shock is over.

Or perhaps she will not, leaving you ignored, not approached by neither stallion or mare for your status, be it either for the high rank or the way you got it. Face it, you should wait until she forgets everything, coming back to you as lustful and needy as ever.

I massaged my temples as I kept trying to read the document that was just under my eyes, spelling it out like a filly that was trying to learn a new difficult word.

Surely even such a loss cannot be unfixable? Assuming you are the first one to make a move and given time to heal the wound closing this relationship off would bring about, finding love isn’t going to be a hopeless endeavour, even after this.

Or maybe Fluttershy is your only chance at getting sincere love.

I bit my lower lip and punched the pillow below me, still hesitating in going past that sentence, frustration seeping in.

What are the odds? You are not ugly by any standards, nor your personality is unpleasant, the opposite of that in fact…

That doesn’t mean it’s the right one for a mare or coltfriend.

Using my magic, I placed the document right in front of my eyes, forcing myself to read from the beginning in order to gain momentum.

Not really, it just requires a little bit of nuance at a certain point while building the relationship.

What “nuance” are you talking about? There is, sure, but when it comes to makes a romantic relationship grow, not birth it.

I slammed the document on the table, screaming «Enough!» and fluttering my wings rapidly.

"I have a lot to do here, but… I can’t do it if I keep being distracted. I have to get this out of my system in a way or another..." I said to myself, as I turned around towards the door "maybe giving the paraphernalia back to Fluttershy would be a start.."

I got up and walked towards the door.

"Spike! Come over here, I need you!" I said, placing my left hoof next to my mouth, letting the echo on the crystal walls do the rest. After a while, I heard skittering and panting and shortly after Spike appeared.

"What is it Twilight? What do you need now?" he said, leaning against a wall with one claw and clutching his chest with the other, his double-ended tongue hanging out of his mouth and a trail of sweat drops shining behind him.

"Would you please go and call Fluttershy here? Tell her it’s important and that I have to talk about something while I give her back a few things I borrowed."

Rolling his eyes, he turned around and dragged himself down the corridor.

"Okay, but first let me drink something." he said, disappearing behind the corner again. I grinned and turned around as well.

"Very well. Now, until then, let’s get back to work." I said to myself, as I sat on the pillow-chair once again, going back to read that document one more time, this time finally fully reading it and stamping it.

I was pretty lucky that day, as not many petitions and deeds were presented to me nor any crisis required my attention. As such, when the fateful knock on the door happened, I could move away from my post without any document unchecked and unstamped.

That didn’t meant everything was fine, however.

"S-so… you’re giving my things back," Fluttershy asked me as she climbed up the stairs "or do you wanna talk about… y’know?"

"Both, actually." I answered as I lowered my bedroom’s handle, revealing my bedroom as chaotic as I had left it that morning when I had gotten up. A whimper came out of her.

"Fluttershy, honey, I know that my condition is peculiar, to say the least, but you don’t have to worry about anything." I forced myself to get a soothing tone, drawing inspiration from my dear mentor, slowly turning around and lifting her face by her chin with my hoof. "I have never done anything of the sort. The worst I did is, in fact, occasionally peep beneath tails and get drawn material of it, and the closest I got to do it in reality… well, is with you."

"H-how can I be sure about that?" She moved her face away, clearly trying to not look right in my face. "You’re a princess, foals would probably think it’s normal for princesses to do it to their subjects… and the foals’ parents wouldn’t dare to get you arrested for it."

"You say it as if it was true." I sighed, bitterly chuckling. "But it is not: if Princess Celestia were to find out I did it..."

I shuddered and nearly cowered at the mere idea of such an event happening, my mind not even daring to picture the results of her wrath directed towards me.

"I guess that’s a fair point… but, still, why didn’t you tell me, when we started roleplaying? Why didn’t you tell me that me wearing diapers, suckling on a pacifier, using my diaper and generally acting like a little foal, was all sexual to you? "

"Because I did not know it was sexual in such a way for me," I said "I just knew that seeing you acting like a baby or a toddler aroused me, and I thought it was either connected to the object of the diaper or, well, you being more innocent than you are."

She turned towards me, a frown on her face, her stance changing from the previous one.

"I-I can’t believe it… y-you’ve lied to me the whole time..." she went towards my wardrobe, getting her objects inside the green cloth sack she had placed them when she arrived.

"I did not. It cannot be a lie if I didn’t know that I was wishing for that reason." I said, my heart clenching at the prospect that was given me.

"It was a mistake to get together with you, you’re a poulophile and you’ll always be," she closed the sack down and placed it in her mouth first and on her back afterwards "please, leave me alone, I don’t want to have anything to do with you!"

"No! Wait! You don’t understand!" I started to chase her down the staircase.

"I said 'leave me alone'!" she shouted back at me as she tried to run faster, to which I responded by hovering above ground with my wings.

"We can talk this out! I promise I-"

"Go away, your promises are empty! EMPTY!" she interrupted me, as she also started to fly, almost letting the sack fall off her. When she arrived next to the entrance, I slowed down, tears welling up in my eyes and falling on the floor like raindrops, my momentum ending just shy of the doorstep. I watched as Fluttershy, my former lover and likely former friend, flew away into the midday sun, never to be spoken to again... as I thought at all the nights and the emotions I lost with her, and what future had in store for us, had we stuck together...

Author's Note

Hello guys!

This is my irst story here, hope you enjoyed it!