Secrets of the Heart

Chapters

The Farm Life
Complications
Past and Future
Tension Points
State of mind
A Matter of Heart
Comprehension
A Link to the Truth
Who I am
Who I Really Am
Fond Farewells

The Farm Life

Sweet Apple Acres, Ponyville
September 2nd, Year 22 under the Four Princesses

Dawn was breaking over Ponyville, bathing the land in a gentle orange glow that cut through the chill of a windy night that had come before it. The weather mirrored the year the town had experienced in an odd way, initially cold and disorganised thanks to the latest mayoral elections but now giving way to a brighter beginning as it turned out mayor Diamond Tiara was actually doing a good job of it. Not that anypony would be drawing that comparison at this time of day. Few ponies were awake at this time of day and fewer still were out and about. Indeed, of the thousands of ponies that called Ponyville home only one could be expected to be awake at the crack of down. Out on the western outskirt of town sat that pony's home that also doubled as one of Equestria's most renowned farms and the effective origin of Ponyville itself: Sweet Apple Acres.

In one of the upstairs bedrooms of the main farmhouse, Applejack rubbed some sleep from her eyes and picked up a brush from a dresser before starting to straighten out her bed mane. Sleep was going to be a luxury for the new few days as applebuck season had started yesterday, compounded by the fact that the apple orchards had doubled in size over the years to keep up with growing popularity and demand. She had a team these days at least, friends that worked with her every day to make sure the farm was at it's best. None of them were here now though, she thought to herself. That was something that she only thought about when she was alone. Out there, she could focus on her work and be the hard working leader other ponies saw her as. Out there she had everypony.

Here, within her farm, Applejack was alone.

Big McIntosh was still among her farm workers but he lived in Ponyville itself with his wife and children. Apple Bloom had no significant others but stayed within town as well, having converted part of her carpentry workshop into a living space. Granny Smith and Winona were both at rest now, having finally joined her parents all those years ago. That left the formerly active and friendly farm down from its old maximum of six down to just one permanent occupant and that fact left a faint sense of sadness gripping her chest whenever she was the only pony present.

Applejack knew from experience that the loneliness wasn't entirely bad however. Periods in her younger days when she had had to maintain the farm singlehoofed, sometimes for months at a time, had sharpened her mind and honed her body considerably. While she had never been the most lithe of mares, decades of constant work had gifted her with considerable muscle that stood out beneath her coat and expressed how well toned she had become with every movement. While her muscle was never going to match those dedicated to it like Bulk Biceps, nopony could deny Applejack was buff, to the point that ponies unfamiliar with her mistook her for a short stallion and at thirty-eight years old she was still acknowledged as one of the strongest mares in Equestria.

The problem was that those were past experiences. They had been able to counter the loneliness once but for a family focused mare like Applejack, she needed something more long lasting. Something that she had never quite had the time to look for.

Still, the feeling had been there long enough that she knew how to let it be without letting it get in the way of what she needed to do. Applejack gave her mane one last check before swapping the brush for a manetie and fixing her mane into her signature ponytail. That manestyle had become a part of her, almost as synonymous as her farm or her position as the element of honesty. Or her Stetson hat, which completed the look as she picked it up from the dresser and put it on. Now she was the Applejack everypony knew, albeit one that still needed to finish her morning routine.

After quickly dealing with any other hygiene matters that needed to be handled, Applejack made her way down into the kitchen. Due to her daytime workload she typically took care of morning preparations the night before. A plate of oatcakes was ready in the fridge and the mail delivered the day before was ready on the table. Applejack took a few minutes to warm the oatcakes a make herself a cup of coffee, a creation she had highly praised many times over the last few years. With her foot hot and drink ready, she sat down and started on breakfast while going through the mail. Much of it was the usual fare, business related or export orders for the harvest currently in progress, but one letter with a Manehatten address caught her eye. Applejack opened it up quickly and started reading, a smile growing on her face as she recognised the writing style.

Dear Applejack,

You've mentioned before how hectic the city life feels for you, imagine having to live it! Even I lose track of time sometimes. That's no excuse for taking four months to reply to your last letter though and I'm really sorry. I bet you've been looking forward to some answers, right?

So first off, my accent is actually south-east Equestrian. A lot of ponies can't guess it first time, there's a lot of accents in the Baltimare area. Secondly, I play music in my spare time, guitar is pretty easy when your wings are nimble enough to reach the strings. Thirdly...Wow, bit personal don't you think?

Heh, don't worry, no more personal than any of the other questions. I'm only an average build for a stallion, so your brother could squash me easily if I started getting any funny ideas about you and me. Not that I have, I mean you can't fall in love with a pony through letters right? That does lead into your last question though. I don't have anypony special in my life either, I'm still young enough to eke a little more out of life before I start looking I think. I do have a number of good friends though, part of why I took so long to reply was that I was helping one of them through a rough patch in her life after her career collapsed. Now I have a bit more time since things have picked up, there was something I wanted to ask you.

P.T.O

Applejack chuckled softly through a mouthful of coffee, feeling more awake as she flipped the letter over and continued reading.

I know it's a lot to ask with your work going on and it's just an idea at the moment but...If I found myself in Ponyville in the future, would you be interested in meeting up? It'd be nice to be more than quillpals and I could always bring my guitar if you wanted to hear my music firsthoof. Like I said, just an idea at the moment, but one that would be nice if it happened.

I'd write more, but things are still a little busy here. Hopefully you can reply sooner than I did, Celestia knows it always cheers me up to read them. Hopefully harvest season goes well for you, let me know if you need any help!

Looking forward to our next discussion,
Windhover

As she finished reading and set the letter down again, Applejack couldn't help but smile to herself. Windhover's words had a way of loosening up that hold on her heart ever so slightly whenever she read them. The two of them had gotten in contact two years ago when Applejack had answered a newspaper ad for a pony in Manehatten looking for a quillpal on a whim. It turned out to be one of the best decisions she had made in recent memory, since going through his letters and writing responses had become one of her more enjoyable pastimes. A reply would have to wait for now though, she only had twenty minutes before everypony else turned up for the day.

Applejack finished her breakfast and went through the rest of her mail while she washed up, putting everything she would need to go through again later to one side for review once she was finished working. By the time that was done it was approaching seven o'clock and the coffee was starting to do its job, perking her up and sending a little more energy coursing through her veins. She was as ready as she'd ever be for the task at hoof today. Time to go to work.

She stepped out of the farmhouse into the morning light and stopped for a moment to take in the sight. Even with the sun rising there was still a slight chill in the air and a breeze that teased at her fur, though her bulk helped to keep it from becoming uncomfortable. It provided a constant soundtrack for the farm though, the sound of thousands of trees filtering the wind through their reach and carrying the scent of apples across the area and out to the other farmlands on the outskirts of Ponyville if the wind turned the right way. This was Applejack's little slice of the world, one she had helped create since she was just five years old and hopefully would continue to do so for the rest of her working days.

Applejack simply observed the orchards for a few moments before sighing gently and heading for the main entrance to the farm. The rest of her team should be arriving any time now and she had made greeting them a habit. Making a way through the pathways across the farm was second nature to her and it only took a minute or two to reach the oak gates that now marked the entrance to Sweet Apple Acres. Visible through the bars was a chestnut coloured earth mare with a yellow mane that was styled into a more traditional ponytail compared to Applejack's, inquisitive sky blue eyes and a cutie mark of an apple seed in mid-sprouting.

"Morning, Little Hayseed." Applejack greeted her cheerfully as she unlocked and opened the gates.

"Morning, AJ!" Little Hayseed replied as she stepped through and flexed a hoof out. She had been an employee of the farm for a little under four years now and while somewhat quirky, not helped by the fact she was half a foot taller than Applejack, she was efficient.

"Sleeping any better?"

"A little, maybe it's just the weather but I still got woken up during the night. Eh, it'll improve," Hayseed sounded as perky as ever as she made her way up toward the barns before stopping and looking back at Applejack. "You shouldn't have to wait too long either, I saw Arby and Mac on my way here."

Applejack nodded and looked back toward Ponyville, her thoughts drifting to the two ponies her colleague had mentioned by nickname. Big McIntosh was the same as ever; quiet, hardy and capable of clearing an orchard with just one hoof. He had opened up more though, thanks largely to his wife Cheerilee, as well as his children Frostleaf and Akane. The other pony mentioned though...

Arboreal was a whole different pony to the rest of the team. A green earth mare with a reddish-brown mane that Rarity would have described as rosewood coloured that had been cut back and styled into a short braid. Lilac eyed with a cutie mark of a mighty scots pine, her knowledge of tree care and evolution had proven invaluable in supplementing Applejack's knowledge and boosting the farm's productivity. She was somewhat loud and haughty though, as if she believed her time here was wasted. She never showed any actual desire to leave though and when push came to shove she could be trusted to keep up.

Even now Applejack's ears twitched as she picked up the oh so dulcet tone of Arboreal's voice as the mare approached the farm. She spotted Big Mac first though, her older brother's size dwarfing the more average mare walking next to him. His appearance had changed less than his personality, the only noticeable difference was the beginnings of a beard running along his jawline but behind that was the same strong stallion as ever.

"Howdy, all rested up an' ready to roll?" Applejack asked as they reached the gates, her smile becoming ever so slightly more forced as she looked to Arboreal.

"Eeeyup." Big Mac replied with a smile.

"Of course, ready for another day of bucking." Arboreal added, offering a hoof that Applejack bumped in response.

"Are we the last ponies here?" Mac asked.

"Not quite." A voice came from behind them. Applejack looked round her friends quickly, recognising the voice.

Approaching the gate was the last of her coworkers. A white unicorn stallion with a dark green mane that sported a lighter highlight down the center with the same in his tail, blue eyes that resonated with a hidden depth and a cutie mark of a fruit basket loaded with a variety of produce. His name was Bounty, he was the newest member of the team and...Everytime Applejack saw him she felt her breath catch slightly. She couldn't explain it, but every time she saw him, she wanted to look for slightly longer. His body was well built, his expression welcoming, his voice gentle and smooth. He seemed like the kind of stallion that could make any mare fall for him.

Yet something about him felt oddly familiar, something she hadn't been able to place.

"Well, you happen to be last today." Applejack told Bounty as he joined the others.

"Shoot, and I got up early as well." He replied, chuckling softly as he rubbed his forehead. Applejack noticed that he winced slightly as he did, likely another of his migraines.

"You sure you're fit to work, sugarcube?" She asked, watching as he stepped through the gates.

"Couldn't stop me even if I wasn't, not at a time like this."

"If yer sure, though don't be afraid to holler if you start feeling any worse again."

Applejack had to remind herself not to tell Bounty not to push himself, he hated that. He had only arrived in Ponyville two years ago and seemed to have been trying to prove he belonged ever since. Not that he needed to. His magic was above average, capable of clearing a tree of apples and carrying them to storage even faster than she could. Not to mention he was generally able to get along with ponies and, if Applejack was honest with herself, pretty easy on the eyes. Between the rest of her team, he managed to balance things out, and now they were all waiting for her.

Between all of them, her family, and her many other friends within Ponyville, the thought was enough to force the cold sensation around her heart to relinquish its grip as she headed off to start the days' work. For now.

Complications

October 10th

Compared to the relentless pace that had been kept up at sweet apple acres over the past month, Ponyville felt rather sedate in comparison. Anytime Applejack had needed to step into town for supplies or even just to take a few minutes breather, she had to remind herself to walk at a slower pace instead of the hurried trot she maintained on the farm. Even with all her employees' assistance, applebuck season had been a massive undertaking this year, collecting, storing and shipping apples for all of Equestria. It was finally starting to come to a close though as the varieties of apples grown all reached their prime harvest time and the trees were empty of their fruits. While there was still farm maintenance, further exports and preparing apples for cider season to do, everypony on the team was finally able to relax somewhat.

Applejack had been gifted more of a chance today, her thirty-ninth birthday. Big Mac had, through considerable effort, convinced her to take a day off and let him handle things for the time being. As tough as it had been for her to step away from her duties, she had been able to make the most of it and catch up with her old friends after weeks out of the loop. Things were generally the same as when she had last spoken to the others. Rainbow Dash was still on a military tour with the Wonderbolts, Twilight Sparkle had been keeping busy with her princess duties and Rarity was designing a fresh line of clothing for her stores nationwide, which had taken up a few hours as the unicorn had insisted they catch up over tea and showcase a few of her more work based designs.

Even though it was the afternoon by that point, Pinkie Pie had had Applejack's lunch party ready to go the second she stepped into Sugarcube Corner. Even if it was as fun as a party that only the pink party pony could provide, Applejack noticed that Pinkie had been slightly distracted throughout the proceedings, though it was a happy distracted as though she was hiding some welcome realisation behind her eyes. There hadn't been time to ask about it though, both from the party and the fact Applejack had to make her way out to Fluttershy's cottage afterward as the pegasus hadn't been present. That was more than understandable though, considering Fluttershy was now running her animal sanctuary with the added pressure of being seven months pregnant with her second foal. Despite herself, Applejack had helped out her friend with a few chores before making her way to the final stop of the day; Apple Bloom's carpentry shop.

"You sure you don't want any help with carrying it, sugarcube?" Applejack asked as she watched her younger sister finish securing a freshly finished closet into the cart she used for hauling deliveries.

"Ah, it's only going as far as Lyra and Bon Bon's. Ah'll be fine." Apple Bloom replied, grunting slightly as she got the last belt in place and secured it.

Applejack nodded, silently noting that Apple Bloom's work looked quite professional for a 'country' pony as the snobs in Canterlot would consider it. Then again, she had gotten the saw on her flanks when she was just eight years old. Twenty years of learning her craft had paid off and even though she rarely took her goods further than the farms on Ponyville's outskirts, she was successful enough to keep going. It did mean she spent a lot of time working here though, and Applejack felt the grip of loneliness tighten a little more with that thought.

"Think that's everything...Actually, did ah put the...Oh! Shoot, be right back!" Apple Bloom said quickly before rushing back into her workshop, leaving Applejack standing outside for a moment before she returned carrying a small box on her back. "Sorry ah didn't have time to wrap it."

"Awww shucks, you didn't have to get me anything special." Applejack told her as she was offered the box.

"I know, so I got ya somthin' useful instead."

Applejack couldn't help but chuckle softly, that was just like Apple Bloom. As much as she would have liked to keep talking and maybe open her present now, dusk was beginning to cover the town and she wasn't about to make her little sister navigate a heavy cart through the streets in the dark. The goodbyes were made quickly and Applejack waved Apple Bloom off as she set off on her delivery before heading back toward the farm. Normally a lonely walk in the dark would have increased that grip in her chest but the weight of the gift on her back buoyed her spirits and held it down.

By the time she made it back to sweet apple acres, twilight had properly fallen over Ponyville, casting a shadow over everything in sight as the last rays of light struggled to reach their destinations. Applejack was used to it though, there had been times where she'd been working well into the night without fully realising it. Her eyes had also adjusted to the lowered light enough to see that there was somepony waiting at the gates to the farm as she approached. She slowed slightly to try and identify them, only to relax at the familiar sight of an all-white coat. Only one pony who looked like that came around here.

"Hey, AJ." Bounty said as she came up to him.

"Bounty? What in tarnation are you doing here at this time of day?" The question wasn't entirely unfounded. The work day had finished about half an hour ago and nopony came to farm after hours, with the occasional exception of Big Mac.

"Well, I ah..." Bounty rubbed his neck and smiled slightly awkwardly. "Well, with it being your birthday, I thought you might appreciate a little company instead of just being on your own all night."

"You..." Applejack sighed slightly to herself and smiled back at the stallion. "Ya thought right. Come on."

The two of them turned and made their way back through the now deserted orchards, nothing visible beyond more than a few dozen feet in the increasing darkness. Applejack kept going completely nonplussed, knowing thanks to everypony's diligence that there was nothing unwelcome lurking in her trees. Not that there had ever been anything worse than a Flutterbat. A sudden feeling of fur against her right side shooed that thought away and she looked up to see Bounty had pressed a little closer, looking less convinced that it was just the two of them out here. Despite herself, Applejack found herself relaxing slightly at the feeling of a stallion so close.

She couldn't explain it, but something about the combination of his warmth instead of the cooling air, the subtle feeling of his muscles at work as he walked in step with her, even being close enough to hear every breath he took...For an all too faint moment, Applejack felt the cold grip vanish completely and be replaced by a gentle warmth that washed through her body. Similar to the feeling of being with her family or friends, yet she already knew this sensation was completely new to her. Then Bounty moved away again and it was gone. She shook her head slightly and decided to think about it later, when she didn't have a friend trying to help her forget her problems.

"Me and Little Hayseed took some time aside to handle your chores in here." Bounty said as they entered the farmhouse. To his surprise, Applejack dashed ahead at those words and started checking things inside the house, moving from item to item quickly. After covering the entire bottom floor in a minute she stopped and calmed down.

"An' you did it all right too. Thank you."

"No, problem..."

"Sorry, I-I didn't mean to sound ungrateful." Applejack bit her lip slightly in nerves, hesitating before she saw Bounty nod in response.

"It's alright, I know you've got a way of doing things. Part of being an Apple." Bounty replied. Applejack simply chuckled softly and led him through to the kitchen.

"Help yourself to anything you fancy." She told him, stopping momentarily at the table when she saw her mail had been placed there.

Normally she would have just left them for the morning and done her best to relax for the night, but the topmost letter caught her eye. It was unremarkable in appearance, except for the fact that the address had been written in a pegasus writing style and she only knew of one that would write instead of coming directly to her. Applejack gave a small gasp before she could stop herself and opened it up, reading quickly.

Dear Applejack,

If the Equestrian mail service is worth anything then this should reach you in time to say this. Happy birthday, Applejack! Hopefully it was a good one. I didn't have anything I could send with this letter, but hopefully what's coming next could make up for it.

I have to say, after you said we could meet if things weren't too hectic, I was really happy. A chance to meet somepony like you is just...Getting a little off topic, sorry. What I'm trying to say is that that might be coming sooner than I thought. I have family living out on the Ponyville farmlands and I was planning to stay with them for hearth's warming. So I'm going to be in town for a few weeks at the end of December and that's generally not farming time, right? Hopefully we can meet up, even if it's just for a day. I promise I'll bring a proper present then as well.

Looking forward to hearing from you soon,
Windhover

"I take it that that's good news?" Bounty asked as he came back over. Applejack looked away from the letter and realised that she had been smiling ever since she started reading.

"Sure as a summer day is beautiful," Applejack replied. "Just a friend of mine who says he'll be coming over in a few months."

"He?"

Applejack looked up in surprise at that. Bounty was staring at her with a slight frown and a surprisingly intense look. The way it had come out of nowhere was somewhat disconcerting but she met his gaze with her own laser sharp focus.

"Is that a problem?" She asked flatly, carrying just enough tone in her voice to get her point across. Bounty pulled his head back slightly and blinked rapidly before shaking his head to the right and looking back at her.

"Hmm? What's a...N-no ma'am." He replied quickly, his former sternness replaced by what could only be described as disorientation.

"Another migrane?"

"No. I don't think so anyway. I sort of just, zoned out after I asked about the letter. Next thing I know I feel weird and you're asking if there's a problem."

Applejack just nodded, feeling at a loss on the issue. She could perform basic medical care as a matter of necessity on the farm but what Bounty was going through was beyond her. She couldn't really suggest anything beyond him seeing a doctor, but her main concern was the possibility that his moment had had some basis in actual thoughts. Did he really have a problem with her being around other stallions? It sounded silly, especially since the two of them were nothing more than friends, but she had heard that some stallions could get possessive if they had feelings for somepony.

"I ah...I'm sorry, I don't know what happened there. I didn't mean to make things awkward," Bounty said as he rubbed his forehead and grimaced slightly. "I should give you some peace, rest up myself."

"You sure you can make it home yourself?" Applejack asked as she got up and checked him over.

"Y-yeah, of course. I've had worse." He replied after a few breaths. He did look better as he looked back at her and he hadn't collapsed so he really had suffered worse episodes than this.

As Applejack made her goodbyes and watched as Bounty started to make his way back toward Ponyville, the quiet of the night around her calmed her mind enough for the realisation of what she'd thought before to sink in. Bounty very likely felt something for her and while she definitely enjoyed his presence, she wasn't sure if she felt the same in return. If that wasn't a problem enough, there was another problem that was currently sitting opened on her kitchen table. She had a sneaking suspicion that Windhover had fallen for her to some degree through just their letters as well. If the two of them were around her at the same time...She shook her head slightly as she lost track of Bounty in the darkness and headed back inside, knowing that she had a lot to think about.

Past and Future

December 22nd

Despite her best efforts, Applejack found herself unable to escape her lingering concerns about Bounty and Windhover. As the autumn harvest season passed and the winter snows arrived in their place, the decreased work required on the farm left her with more time to dwell on it too. She only saw Bounty every few days as the sweet apple acres staff only required one or two ponies a day during the winter. Apple Bloom came by occasionally, stopping in on her way to and from meetings with the new generation of Cutie Mark Crusaders, but for the most part Applejack found herself alone again with just that cold grip for company. By now she was completely sick of the feeling and with her workload lightened for several weeks to come thanks to all the snowfall, now was the prime time to do something about it.

Despite being the obvious choice, Applejack wasn't certain about asking Bounty about taking things further. Even though she remembered that moment, that one moment where she was free of her concerns with him beside her, that wasn't enough to go on. He had looks and a comforting presence, sure, but she remembered Rarity had felt the same about Prince Blueblood and how well that had turned out. Normally this wouldn't be a problem, she could just get to know him better and find out, but he wasn't the only stallion to consider.

Windhover was different. She had never actually seen him and only had the descriptions included in two years worth of letters to go on. Applejack had a mental image together and it seemed rather...Plain, for lack of a better word, especially in comparison to Bounty. Those same letters had given a good layout of his personality though and that was where the pegasus had the advantage over the unicorn. He was relaxed, upfront, knowledgeable and had a way of easing her concerns with just words. After all that, she found herself looking forward to finally meeting him. She wasn't going to have to wait much longer either.

Windhover had arrived in Ponyville yesterday and was staying at a B&B in town. They hadn't had the chance to meet then as he had been seeing his family and she had been side-tracked by a surprise visit from Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. On top of everything else Applejack had been dealing with, hearing her younger sister come out as gay just like that had temporarily been more than she could deal with and it had taken the whole day to absorb and accept this new information. Which was why she was now finishing her work from yesterday today before Windhover showed up.

"Alright, negotiate twenty litres off the Vanhoover order, use those sales in Ponyville and that should cover all demand." Applejack muttered to herself as she took one of her order papers and adjusted the numbers on it. Paperwork took up more of her time than a workhorse like her would have liked, enough that she had needed to set up a three-meter board on the wall to hold it all. Still, it took a lot of focus to keep all that information in mind. While she was working on this, she could forget everything else.

She wasn't sure how long she'd been working before a knocking on the front door broke her attention. Applejack hesitated for a moment, wondering who it was. Big Mac was the only other team member present today and he would just come in if he needed to. It took a moment for her to remember, though the moment she did she dropped the paper and rushed over to the door. She opened it to see a green pegasus stallion standing on the other side. His identity was obscured by a dark blue beanie, gold tinted snow goggles and a leather jacket that covered his mane, eyes and cutie mark, though his gold coloured tail was still visible. Even with all the obscuring features, Applejack recognised him instantly.

"Windhover!" She exclaimed happily, pulling her friend into a hug before he could react.

"H-hey, Applejack," Windhover gasped as he found himself pressed hard against her chest. "Breathe..."

"Oh, sorry." Applejack let him go and stepped back to let him recover.

It took her a moment to realise that her cold anxiety that plagued her had gone completely again. It wasn't the same as when Bounty had gifted her with that feeling previously, as she felt nothing replacing it. No happy warmth, no sudden realisations, not even any of that love at first sight nonsense that Rarity seemed to be believe in every other year. The difference was far more significant; it was more than momentary. Windhover was taking several seconds to recover from her almost accidentally crushing him and she couldn't feel it returning at all. The fact was not lost on her, but she would have to think about it later. She had been waiting for this moment for nearly a year and a half.

"Should have seen it coming, getting a pony as strong as you excited to see me." Windhover said as he straightened up. Now his voice was back to normal, Applejack noticed that he did have an accent from one of the coast towns of south-east Equestria, though she didn't know enough about the area to know which one.

"Darn right, can never wait to meet a new friend. 'Specially one like you."

"Trust me, I haven't been able to wait either. I haven't been to Ponyville in years and the chance to not just catch up with my family but to have an element of harmony herself want to hang out with me? I think half the foals in Equestria would do anything to be in my horseshoes."

"Well we can't start by having ya freeze out here, even with that getup you got." Applejack commented as she stepped back to let Windhover inside.

"Too much? We didn't get much snow in Manehatten and I wasn't sure just what I was going to need." Windhover replied, wiping snow off his goggles as he entered the farmhouse. With them cleaned up he lifted them up to rest on his forehead, showing a pair of excited light blue eyes behind them.

"Not in this weather, it's kinda rough even for Ponyville." Applejack clarified as she watched his reaction to her living room.

It was clear that Windhover was a city colt through and through. He was constantly looking round at everything inside so quickly that he stopped and did several circles in place. The sight was oddly adorable, a grown stallion acting like a foal seeing beauty for the first time after a life of darkness. After a full minute of this he finally calmed down enough to look back over at Applejack, smiling warmly but with an ever so slight waver to it.

"Wow, you've got an amazing house, Applejack," He commented, wings fluttering slightly as he failed to keep his composure completely. "I ah, can't believe you're alone here."

'Yup, wondered if he'd speak before thinking.' Applejack thought to herself before shaking her head slightly. "Not entirely alone, my siblings are often around."

"You've never mentioned parents though." Windhover added, stopping as he noticed a photo by the door. It was on the same side that the door opened to, which explained why he hadn't seen it initially.

It was a group shot of five ponies. Two adults in the center, two teenagers on either side and a foal in her mother's hooves. Applejack herself was sitting on the right edge, though she only looked about ten years old and sported a pair of pigtails instead of her current ponytail. Next to her was a scarlet coloured earth mare with a short cut chestnut coloured mane and tail, soulful teal eyes and cutie mark of an apple half with its juice pouring into a cider mug. Nestled in the mare's hooves was a pale yellow foal no more than a few months old, a tuft of reddish mane poking out under the blanket it was wrapped in helping identify it as Apple Bloom.

The earth stallion on the mare's right and gently nuzzling her was amber with a white stripe running up the bridge of his muzzle, graying mane and tail, green eyes and a cutie mark of a barn just like the one visible in the background of the photo and outside the farmhouse. He was also the only one with an accessory, a sky blue neckerchief draped round his neck. Sitting to his right and on the left edge of the photo was a younger Big Mac, somewhat lanky and with a much messier look to his mane, looking no older than thirteen. The whole picture gave off a sense of unity, calm and pleasant nostalgia.

"Ah've never had to..." Applejack said quietly as she watched Windhover step closer for a better look at the photo. His ears folded back as he caught the meaning behind her words.

"Oh...I-I'm so sorry, Applejack. I didn't mean to open an old wound..."

"That wound's had twenty-seven years to heal, gonna take more than words to open it again."

"Twe...Sweet Celestia." Windhover breathed, stepping back slightly as he tried to imagine how he would have managed so long. Yet he couldn't even comprehend it.

"Can't pretend I don't miss 'em...Redstreak and Compound Rise were the best mom and dad I could've wished for." Applejack said as she turned and rested herself against a cabinet by her work board, looking down at the floor.

"I don't doubt it. If-"

"Was just before my twelfth birthday," She continued, sounding like she was talking to herself to keep the memories alive. "Both went out on a major delivery to a town near the Hayseed Swamps...Never came back, no sign of them was ever found. Ponies tried to find new routes through the area a few years later and found the fire swamp and evidence of chimeras living in the area. Ah knew what had happened then..."

"A-Applejack?"

"Granny Smith took care of us as best she could after that, an' Apple Bloom was too young to understand, but fer me...The family and friends left were all I had, then less than five years later ah was helping save the world from Nightmare Moon."

"I, had no idea..." Windhover commented quietly as he went up to her.

"I fought a chimera. Did you know that?" Applejack asked as she looked back up at Windhover, watching as he shook his head. "A few months after Twilight became a princess. By then ponies knew how to counter them, not like the days when we'd have to lose half a squad of guards to bring one down. Wanted to kill the forsaken thing, would have if ah hadn't needed t'get my little sister out of there."

Windhover could only gasp.

"Sorry, ah'm not usually lingering on the past," Applejack sighed, letting her sadness and regrets flow out of her with it. The cold grip was back, but it was muted in comparison to normal. "Just, needed to get it all out now that it'd been brought up. Thank ya for listening, Windhover."

"Thank you for trusting me enough." He replied, placing a hoof on her shoulder. That touch send a small spark of relief through Applejack, similar to what she'd felt from Bounty but smaller in scale. It was still welcome after what had just happened though.

For a few moments the discussion dropped into silence as they stared at each other, both wondering where they were supposed to take their meeting after that. Applejack still looked emotionally strained, trying to stay strong even after having such memories hitting close to her heart. Windhover seemed to have similar issues, caught between concern for her and guilt over making her feel that way. As he opened his mouth to say something there was another round of knocks on the door, leaving his sentence hanging.

"Hmm?" Applejack straightened herself up and shook her head slightly before going to answer it. "Sorry, Windhover. Ah know this ain't exactly been an ideal start to everything."

"It's ok, I'm just happy to be here." He replied as he adjusted his goggles.

Applejack took one last moment to be sure she had composed herself again before opening the door. Bounty was standing on the other side, shivering slightly from the cold and renewed snowfall. More concerning though was the fact he looked like he had been through a sleepless night, mane dishevelled and tired eyes clearly visible.

"Applejack, I...Are you alright?" He asked quickly, leaning in slightly and studying her face. Clearly she hadn't managed to clear herself of what had happened completely.

"Y-yeah, just some bad memories. What about you though, ya look terrible."

"Okay," Bounty rubbed his forehead for a moment before letting it go again. "This might sound like a silly question, but what day is it?"

"Errm, Thursday."

"Okay...Which Thursday?"

"December twenty-second."

"Oh," Bounty shook his head slightly. "That's not from a migraine. I just thought that I needed to go look for something on Tuesday night and next thing I know, I was at the farm gates."

"Right. Get yerself warmed up here, then straight to the doctors'. Whatever you're going through, it sounds serious."

"Right, right," Bounty stepped inside and stopped momentarily as he finally noticed the other stallion present. "Hello, Windhover."

"I...I'm afraid we've never met." Windhover replied in confusion.

"Maybe, but Applejack talks about you a lot."

As Bounty sat down nearby and Applejack shook her head slightly as she tried to think what to do next, Windhover looked down in thought. It might have been just him, but something about the way the unicorn had said that came across as...Threatening?

Tension Points

As Bounty settled himself into a chair and attempted to relax, Applejack looked from him to Windhover. The pegasus was looking at the unicorn with a small sense of confusion and...Was that a glint of fear in his eyes? The sight sent a small jolt of dread through her gut, realising that having two ponies that quite possibly, very likely had a crush on her in the same room may not end well. She would just have to try and keep things civil if it came to that though, it wasn't like it was the first time she'd needed to do so. The sound of a quiet snore broke her train of thought and she looked up to see Bounty had fallen asleep almost as soon as he had settled down. Whatever he'd been through the last few days, it looked like he really hadn't gotten any sleep.

"So...Who is he?" Windhover asked as he stepped closer to Applejack, never taking his eyes off Bounty.

"Bounty's one of my workers here on the farm. He's not normally like this though..." Applejack explained. "Normally he can tackle anything thrown at him, so seeing him in such a state is..."

Applejack paused as she tried to figure out exactly what word she wanted to use. Distressing was her first thought, followed closely by upsetting or even disturbing. Somehow though, she had the impression that Windhover might be put off by that. Then she wondered why she was so concerned for his feelings, yes they had been friends for some time but she had only known him face to face for about fifteen minutes. Yes she did her best for everypony but this was something else. Was it because even through all this, his presence was keeping that ugly feeling locked away and allowing her to think freely? She'd have to think about it later, right now she'd been thinking long enough for it start looking awkward.

"...Worrying." She finished.

"I've got a good idea," Windhover commented. "Really, that friend I mentioned had a few nights where she looked as bad as he does."

Applejack nodded. From what he'd mentioned in his letters, it did seem similar. The more she thought about it, the more they shared similarities. Both of them had experienced the city life and didn't seem to be fans, they understood each other's life experiences (even if he didn't understand the truth of the swamps completely he had been born not too far away, he had to know had bad it could be), they even had a strong family-centric basis.

"So," He continued. "Maybe we should talk about something a little more cheerful. Or normal."

"Normal does sound good," Applejack commented as she went back to her work board. "You mind if ah work and talk at the same time? I got a mite behind yesterday."

"No problem. Besides, if you couldn't I'd think you were a changeling."

Despite it being a rough joke, Applejack chuckled softly. If her back hadn't been to Windhover at the time she would seen him blush slightly as she did so.

With that moment out of the way, the two of them settled into more casual conversation. Applejack kept working on her papers as they swapped questions and elaborated on points made in their letters. The longer it went on, the further she could feel herself relaxing in his presence. Most of the other ponies she was regularly around tended not to hang out at the farm so having others in the house, even with Bounty still asleep and looking halfway to falling out of his chair, was hugely welcome to her. On his side of things, Windhover looked to be having the time of his life. Getting to meet his hero and be her friend, nothing could dull that feeling. Right?

That was something about emotions that was often overlooked, how easily they could be hidden.

Beneath the skin, Windhover felt an endless barrage of questions hammering away at his confidence and focus: Does she suspect anything? Should I say something now? Would it be weird if I admitted to everything I implied? Am I even good enough to be around a pony like Applejack? Does Bounty think the same things? Why is it so warm all of a sudden? He blinked back into focus and realised that Applejack had come up to him, staring at him closely. He blinked rapidly and pulled his head back a little, trying to keep his heart rate under control due to the proximity.

"Errm, could you repeat the question?" He asked, grinning nervously. If Applejack noticed, she didn't call him out on it.

"Ah said do you think it'd make a good hearth's warming present?" She repeated, grinning slightly.

"Well ah, right now I think that you should make that call." He kept meeting her gaze, silently trying to will away the sweat he could feel forming on his forehead. Applejack stared him down for a second longer before nodding and stepping back.

"True, something like this needs more than a minute to think about," Applejack glanced up as she realised she'd placed a quill behind her ear at some point during the discussion and fetched it out. "Speakin' of which, would you excuse me a minute?"

Windhover nodded and stepped back as Applejack left the room, waiting until he was alone before wiping his brow. Though he was glad that hadn't gotten any more awkward, part of him regretted not saying anything about any of his personal questions. As he looked round for some kind of distraction, he noticed Bounty was still sliding out of his chair in his sleep. Even as he watched, the unicorn slipped sideways and ended up fully draped across his seat, still snoring slightly. Windhover stepped over and carefully lifted his legs back onto the chair so he wouldn't fall any further. As he went to do the same with the forelegs, he couldn't even get a hoof on them before Bounty's leg snapped to life and wrapped around his outstretched one.

"Ack! S-sorry!" Windhover gasped as he looked back at Bounty, his eyes now wide open and regarding the pegasus coldly.

"Do you even know what you're apologising for?" Bounty asked.

"For waking you up."

"I was awake when I fell over just then, just so we could talk," Bounty countered, tightening his grip on Windhover's hoof. "But I'd be apologising for being lousy at hiding your feelings."

"You're, gonna have to be more specific." Though he was trying to keep it casual, his voice wavered as he said it.

"Like that," Bounty's eyes narrowed. "Back on point. How long have you had feelings for Applejack?"

"Wh-what?" Windhover tensed as he realised his secret was out.

"You think you're the only pony who's gone through the same thing?" Bounty let go of Windhover's hoof and sat up to his full height. With the addition of the chair he towered a good three feet above the pegasus. "I'm only going to say this once. Back. Off."

Windhover took a few steps backward.

"Very funny...Back off from Applejack. I don't think she'd appreciate some city colt she's barely got to know hitting on her."

"I think that if either of us stand a chance with her, it should be her decision on who she'd choose." Windhover countered as he turned away. Bounty blinked rapidly for several seconds and glared at the pegasus but held his tongue for now.

The two of them held an awkward silence for a few minutes before Applejack returned. Bounty quickly rubbed his muzzle and forced a yawn, trying to act like he'd just woken up from his unexpected sleep. Windhover rolled his eyes at that but didn't say anything. If he spoke up about what happened, then it would just be his word against Bounty's and that would probably just end up making things worse.

"Sorry about that, had to make sure a few things were where ah'd left 'em," She explained, brightening further as she noticed Bounty was up and about again. "How're you feeling?"

"Honestly, I've been better," Bounty admitted, glancing at Windhover for a brief second. "I should be able to get home now though. Thank you for letting me recuperate here."

"No problem, but make sure ya stop by the hospital today."

"Yes mom," Bounty commented as he got up to go, smiling slightly as Applejack chuckled slightly. "Hopefully I'll see you at Pinkie Pie's Hearth's Warming party. Windhover...I'll see you around."

"Yeah, you too." Windhover replied flatly, never taking his eyes off the unicorn until he had left the building. As soon as it was just him and Applejack again he relaxed.

"Did I miss something?" Applejack asked as she watched his reaction. Windhover sighed slightly and looked back at her.

"No, we just had a talk while we were waiting for you." He replied, moving over to a sofa along the back wall of the room and sitting down. Even now it was just the two of them he didn't want to bring up what had happened. Something seemed to be bothering Applejack, he knew the signs of when somepony was trying to keep a secret out of focus from experience. The last thing she needed now was an extra issue to deal with.

"Talk about anythin' in particular?" Applejack asked as she gathered several papers off the board and went to sit down next to him.

"No, but he did leave me wondering about something..." Windhover swallowed back his nerves at having a pony he admired so much being less than two feet away now and looked away quickly when she seemed to shift her focus from the papers to him.

"Hmm?"

"You'll have to stop me if I'm asking about something too personal but, you and Bounty. I'm seeing indicators that, there may be something there. So, am I just looking too hard or is there...?"

"You worried somepony's got there before you, sugarcube? Applejack asked softly. Windhover looked at her in shock and blushed deeply, trying to keep his wings folded in and get his mouth working to formulate a response before he realised she was giggling at his reaction. "Relax, ah'm just teasing."

"Oh." He shifted in place and blushed more, embarrassment joining the mix of surprise and attraction swirling through his body.

"Though to answer yer question, there ain't nothing between me an' Bounty. Closest I can say is that there seems to be mutual attraction, but neither of us have acted on it."

"Okay." Windhover mused, doing his best to relax again. His mind was racing though, wondering if he actually still had hope. Even if she'd been messing with him, had she been hiding something in it? No, that had to be wishful thinking on his part. Somepony like her could do so much better, like somepony who told her everything.

More than anything though, he wondered how Bounty was taking everything after what had happened between them.

As he stepped through the farm gates and onto the snowy path back to Ponyville, Bounty stopped and gritted his teeth. His head hadn't stopped thumping since he'd woken up and his temper was still frayed. It was aggravated by the fact that he had no idea where it had come from, even on a bad day he normally wouldn't be so aggressive. The worst part about it all though, was what had occurred while he was asleep. If it hadn't been for him slipping over in his sleep, the sheer vividity would have convinced him that his dream was real. Even now he could remember every detail.

Banners of purple and gold adorned the walls on either side, placed between windows. A carpet roll of the same colours led up to where he sat upon a throne of what seemed to be diamond. Looking to his left brought another pony into his gaze, a pink unicorn looking at him with deep concern. No, a quick glance down showed she was actually an alicorn. Queen Cadance of the Crystal Empire? Why was he sitting on King Armor's throne and why had it been such a realistic dream?

A rush of cold wind snapped Bounty from his thoughts and he set off a quick pace. Now he was thinking rationally again, he knew Applejack had a point. Home could wait, right now he needed to visit the hospital and hopefully talk to a doctor about what was going on. Maybe a psychiatrist too.

State of mind

Sugarcube Corner
December 25th

Hearth's Warming Eve had come to Equestria again, a time for ponies to celebrate the foundation of their country and reaffirm the bonds they shared with their friends and family. While every city, town and outpost in Equestria celebrated in their own ways, Ponyville had become known for having a spectacular celebration thanks to its reputation as the friendliest place in Equestria and being the home of Pinkie Pie. This year was no exception. Every last resident and just about every visitor in Ponyville had been invited to her much anticipated hearth's warming party at Sugarcube Corner and by mid afternoon the sheer numbers present had spilled the party over into the surrounding streets with ponies enjoying every type of food and entertainment imaginable.

A typical Pinkie Pie party then.

As he made his way through central Ponyville en-route to the party, Bounty glanced up at the sky and smiled softly on seeing the sun sitting high above, casting its warmth over the snow laden lands. Weather captain Flitter had gone all out in making conditions perfect for today, the wind had finally dropped and the sunlight was enough to counter the worst of the chill, though it did reflect off the patches of ice that dotted the pathways and made it hard to see at times. In an odd way, it reflected his current mood. The last few days had been rough after his unexpected confrontation with Windhover and several tests at the hospital, including one where he had suffered another outburst, he finally felt back to normal. Even the glare from the ice had a part in it with how itchy his horn was.

There wasn't anything he could do about it though, his horn now had a coil of black keratin carefully wrapped around it and capped off with a point that covered the tip. It looked a little silly but nopony had said anything unpleasant about it. It seemed to be working though, he hadn't suffered any fresh outbursts since it was fitted.

For today at least, he could just step back from everything that had been bothering him, enjoy himself at a fantastic party and hopefully clear the air with Windhover if he was lucky. As he reached the edge of the party he felt himself relaxing further, the atmosphere permeating his body and giving him a sense of-

"Hey Bounty!"

Bounty jumped at that familiar, slightly shrill voice going off right next to his left ear. He took a quick breath to refocus himself and looked at the pony that voice belonged to, finding himself face to face with none other than Pinkie Pie herself. The party pony was fully into the spirit of the day, wearing a replica of Commander Hurricane's helmet that now had a few marshmallows stuck onto the pointer bits.

"H-hey, Pinkie. Glad I could make it." Bounty said, returning the smile.

"Me too. I mean you've got a certain something that adds a spark of happiness to anypony's day, I don't know what but it's reaaallly familiar and that's a welcome feeling right now because, well. Can you feel it? I can feel it, been feeling something big coming for the last year and a half..." Pinkie shook her head slightly as she managed to halt her rambling and instead leaned in toward Bounty's horn. "That didn't go where I thought it would, sorry. Oooh, that's a neat accessory."

"Thanks," Bounty commented, looking up at his horn to try and not focus too hard on what he'd just heard. "Unfortunately it's medical."

"Oh. Applejack did mention something had happened to you. I was going to give you a get well party but you'd left the hospital before I could find everything. Are, you alright?"

"I hope so. The doctors think it's Onero Syndrome," Bounty explained, relaxing slightly further as he noticed Pinkie had gone quiet and sympathetic. "Basically, my brain can't handle how much magic it has to control so they've had to keep my magic disabled while my mind recovers and adapts. And yes, not being able to use magic is extremely weird. Like if you had to walk everywhere instead of bouncing around."

Pinkie gasped in equal parts shock and fear at the thought.

"It should only be for a few weeks at most though and hopefully I'll be back to normal afterward. I'm just lucky this didn't happen during harvest time," Bounty added reassuringly. "For now, I'm just going to relax and enjoy the party. Hopefully I'll see you around later."

"Okey dokey lokey!" Pinkie replied, back to her usual chipper self as she bounced off to elsewhere within the party. Bounty silently thanked the fact that nothing seemed to faze her for long before continuing onward.

As he stepped out of the path of a group of fillies playing tag and into the party proper, Bounty's ears twitched as he picked up the sounds of music coming from throughout the streets. It was a style he couldn't place, sounding like a disorganised yet effective mix of instruments that managed to flow together even if the music they played wasn't meant for them. Like if Canterlot ponies were trying to play rock music, on improv instruments. The weirdest part was that it worked, even from here he could make out the tune that whoever was playing was aiming for. Rounding the corner and coming onto the square outside sugarcube corner, he couldn't help but stop at the sight.

From what he could see, there were at least four different groups of ponies that had set up throughout the party and were doing their best to provide a rather unique brand of entertainment. Unique in that not one of them seemed to have a proper set of instruments and really were improvising. The trio leaning on the wall to his right as they played were managing this more than any other. On the left was Little Hayseed, playing a banjo with the vigour and ferocity normally only seen with a heavy guitar. On the right was Windhover, fully covered up as he worked a bass guitar with hooves and wings. Sitting in the center was none other than Diamond Tiara, mayor of Ponyville, going all out with a set of upturned buckets for drums and managing to sing as she did. It sounded less impressive up close but Bounty couldn't help but grin at the sight, especially as he realised they were playing 'The Pony I Want To Be'.

A glance away from the makeshift band to the crowd enjoying their performance confirmed the rest of the SAA team was there. Arboreal was closest to him, her expression torn between confused and amused. Big Mac was in the middle of the crowd and drawing almost as much attention as the performers. If Hayseed was playing the rock star, Mac was the rock fan, whipping his mane back and forth as he bobbed his head to the music. Applejack was standing on the far edge of the group with Apple Bloom next to her, simply taking in the spectacle. Seeing the mare sent a small flutter through Bounty's heart and a thrumming sensation through his forehead. It only lasted the briefest moment but it was noticeable, and that was cause enough for concern.

Bounty shook his head slightly, trying to remember the advice the doctors had given him. Slow breaths, stay calm, focus away from what you think is triggering it. After a few seconds he looked back up and relaxed himself, stepping forward to join the others. The thrumming didn't return as he greeted Arboreal and Mac. That was all he had to do for now, enjoy himself and try not to focus too much on the mare he had feelings for. A taller order than he would like to admit.

An hour later and Bounty couldn't help but wonder if Applejack had had the same thought as he had. Once Hayseed and Windhover had finished performing and left Diamond Tiara receiving admiration from a sand coloured filly, the group had generally stuck together and simply enjoyed the party. For all her eccentricities, Pinkie Pie certainly know how to put an event together that thousands of ponies could enjoy. Throughout the whole thing though, anytime he happened to look toward Applejack was met with his gaze not being met. Normally he wouldn't have thought anything about it but he had noticed that more than once she was turning her head away from him just when he would have made eye contact. He didn't know what to make of it, but he had a feeling that one way or the other, it wasn't good.

"Hey, you awake?"

Bounty blinked as his focus snapped back to reality, realising he'd gone so deep in thought that his muzzle was nearly touching the mug set down on the table in front of him. He'd remembered sitting down at a table with the others, then he must have zoned out again. That fact that was still happening was more cause for concern, on top of everything else that was starting to build up on him. He tried to put the thought aside and looked back up, glancing left to see Arboreal looking back at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Y-yeah, just thinking thoughts." He replied, leaning back slightly to see if the others were at the table as well. Applejack and Little Hayseed were talking just beyond Arboreal while Windhover was making the most of the food spread out before him. Big Mac and Apple Bloom had left at some point, though he didn't have time to wonder where. Not with the look Arboreal was giving him.

"You think you should have put some of that thought toward some better accessories?" She teased, glancing up at his horn wrap.

"It's medical." He replied flatly, turning forward again and taking a drink from his mug. She didn't make any follow up comments and he was silently thankful for that. He needed a minute for everything to just stop and let him get his thoughts in order again.

There was no point in denying that his feelings toward Applejack were the problem here. Every time he looked at her, he felt a stirring in his heart. Respect for her indomitable spirit, admiration for her strength and intellect, and definitely no small amount of attraction. Other stallions might have been put off by her muscle and somewhat blunt personality, but he looked at her and found himself drawn in. From her outstanding physique that showcased every muscle in her body to her gentle expressions that contrasted the look and reminded that she was a pony like any other. Even now, as he watched her laugh at a comment Windhover was making, she came across as the same Applejack that had first saved the world decades ago and she was wonderful.

More than that. She was beautiful.

But she wasn't interested. How could she be? Even if she wasn't the type of mare who was married to her work, she could do so much better than some nobody from Canterlot. But then she could do better than some Baltimare pegasus too. Of course all of this was moot right now since she had no idea. Bounty tensed slightly as he realised just how badly he was holding himself back, how the main reason he didn't have a chance was because he had refused to take a chance at all. He decided on the spot that after so many months wasted, he wasn't going to wait another second. Time to talk to AJ and find out exactly where things stood between them. He took one last drink from his mug and turned toward her...

Just in time to see her leaving with Windhover.

He bit back a growl of frustration as he leaned forward against the table. One more thing to add to the ever-growing pile of things going wrong with his life right now. It was bad enough that he had basically lost control of his magic like a newborn foal and lost his main working edge in the process, but now the mare he felt for seemed to be leaning toward somepony else and on top of that he still didn't have a proper explanation for his outbursts and now he just felt tired and angry and wanted everything to stop for an hour. A minute even. Maybe that would make the thrumming sensation stop. The realisation that it was back at all did nothing for his mood and he had no idea why it was there this time and all of a sudden he just wanted to walk away and find something. Why did he want to find that something so badly when he didn't even know what it was? Why couldn't anything just be simple right now?!

And now Arboreal was bugging him again.

Bounty shut his eyes and gritted his teeth, silently hoping he could keep it together until whatever had set this off passed and he could calm down again.

Author's Note

Heavy guitars, for when you use magic instead of electricity!

A Matter of Heart

"So Sweetie asks if there's any more surprises that night, and of course that's when the bill arrives."

Maybe it was the fact she was more relaxed, maybe it was the cider, but Applejack couldn't help but laugh as Windhover finished his anecdote about the evening he had spent with renowned singer Sweetie Belle after a performance in Manehatten. A small part of her wondered how, even with his guitar skill, he had been able to hang out with such a big name as the former cutie mark crusader. That was a minor point right now though, one she wasn't willing to ruin the moment by questioning. After all, he looked so happy to see her happy, to just be part of the group. His early letters had indicated that he lived a rather solitary life with only a few friends back home, another reason to let him have this moment.

On top of that, seeing him like this did wonders toward her own sense of calm. That cold grip in her chest had returned during the past few days, threatening to overwhelm her on the coldest nights with nothing but her memories for company. Here though, with her friends beside her and the atmosphere of a Pinkie Pie party around her, it held as much sway over her as the touch of a ghost. Seeing Windhover as he was though, it was enough to silence the feeling entirely, enough to let her stop worrying and simply enjoy herself again. It was similar to how she had felt around Bounty before, only this feeling lingered within her, instead of being a fleeting respite before he moved away and took it with him.

Applejack let out a small sigh, keeping her grin up as she looked back at Windhover and realised that he was looking back at her. Though he was trying to keep it casual she'd seen that look many times over the years, there was something he wanted to talk to her about. Normally she would have just asked him what was up, but part of her wanted to take a few minutes away from the center of the party and get her thoughts in order. She nodded slightly, indicating to follow as she got up. Windhover did the same and the two of them made their way away from the others, looking for a quiet spot. Applejack was well aware of how it might look, or if somepony got the wrong idea. She didn't mind though, virtually everypony in town knew that she was more committed to her work than to any stallion.

"What's on yer mind?" Applejack asked once they found a spot, just inside an alley on the street behind Sugarcube Corner.

"Well, this might sound a little awkward..." Windhover shifted in place slightly. "I put a few of my vacation days into extending my stay in Ponyville, only to find out my family are out of town. So without anything else to do, I was wondering if I could help out around Sweet Apple Acres a little?"

"Well, there's not all that much t'do at this time of year. But ah don't see why not," Applejack commented, watching as the pegasus gave a small sign of relief and smiled slightly more. "Not sure why ya had to drag me away from a perfectly good table for that though."

"I didn't want to risk upsetting Bounty. Especially after everything he's been going through."

"Understandable, he's been like a whole different pony recently. Ever since I first met him he's been so level headed. Now, he can flip between his normal self and ranting about completely random topics faster than a hot-footed hare. To be honest, ah don't think that his 'condition' is the reason either."

"What?" Windhover asked in surprise.

"Ah've been friends with Twilight Sparkle for a long time an' even in her craziest moments did she deal with anything like what Bounty's going through. If she'd been dealing with this onero syndrome he mentioned, she would have figured it out." Applejack said quietly, looking down as she said it.

"That's...Kind of flimsy reasoning." Windhover replied.

"It's all I've got!" Applejack snapped at she looked back at him before stepping back as she realised her outburst, finding it suddenly hard to breathe. It was a small mercy that nopony had been passing by their spot to overhear it. "I-I'm sorry, ah just...I don't understand what's happening to him. It feels like I'm watching him lose himself, an' I don't know how ah'm supposed to help him or what I'm supposed to do..."

Windhover stopped as Applejack shut her mouth and clenched her eyes closed. It was...Unnerving. Seeing one of the strongest mares in Equestria, both figuratively and literally, looking so brittle. Hearing her voice waver on the last few words and failing to keep a tear back despite her best efforts. Without even thinking about it he stepped forward and placed a supportive hoof on her shoulder. She took the offering and wrapped a hoof round the back of his neck. It didn't completely deal with the maelstrom of emotions rushing through her now, but feeling his chest against hers, its gentle rise and fall with each breath, the subtle shift of muscles evolved for the sky, they all helped slightly. The two of them held the moment, time having no meaning in the moment, simply letting the hug last as long as Applejack needed it to.

"Thanks..." Applejack finally said, taking a slow breath as she pulled back and straightened up again.

"It's ok," Windhover replied quietly as he let her go. A moment of thought flashed across his face before he looked her in the eye. "Applejack, this might sound weird to ask but it would explain a lot."

"Hmm?"

"Do you, love Bounty?"

Applejack paused again at the question, realising that this was the first time that anypony, including herself, had asked the question. She also realised that Windhover asking the question had been blunt, but necessary. Not putting any thought to precisely how she felt toward Bounty, or Windhover, had been a major factor toward her conflicted feelings. It wasn't a question that could be answered on the spot though, something like this would take some time and a lot of soul searching. She couldn't just leave the question hanging either though, so all she could do was be honest about things right now.

"I don't know. I mean, there's certainly somethin' there and I wouldn't mind having to be around him all day. But feeling something for somepony is a whole different barrel of apples from loving them. I've been putting off thinking about something like that for years though, even though it's been staring me straight in the face," She gave a small chuckle. "Element of Honesty and ah'm having to have the truth shown to me...Thanks, Windhover."

"No, problem." Windhover replied, rubbing the back of his neck and smiling slightly.

He looked set to say more before anything else could come out of his mouth, the sound of a body crashing against wood and a raised voice from nearby drew their attention. Bounty's voice. Applejack took one look back before breaking into a run toward it, Windhover hot on her hooves. It only took a few moments to reach where they had been before but a crowd was already blocking their way by the time they got there. Applejack carefully maneuvered her way though and to the front, only to stop at the sight waiting for her. Bounty had Arboreal pinned with her back against the table they had been at, his back hooves planted firmly against her back legs, his front hooves against her stomach and throat, and Little Hayseed doing her best to keep him from applying any further pressure.

"Okay okay, I was just cruel with that comment." Arboreal gasped, sounding unnerved for the first time Applejack could remember. A lot of that probably had to do with the look on Bounty's face, a cold fury that warned that he wouldn't need his magic to crush her.

"Then why'd you say it?" Bounty growled, bearing down further on his target. "I am so, so sick of your arrogance."

Applejack and Windhover moved as one, both recognising the danger if nothing else was done. Windhover wrapped his hooves round Bounty's chest from behind while Applejack got between him and Arboreal and applied her considerable strength. With three ponies pulling him back, Bounty was finally dragged off his target and to the floor. Windhover pinned his back legs down while Hayseed lay across his chest to keep his front end down. Bounty tried to struggle but from this position couldn't bring any of his strength to bear anymore.

"Bounty!" Applejack said to him as she moved round to his head. To her silent relief, his struggles seemed to ease up at her voice and he looked up at her. "Bounty, listen to me."

"N-no..." Bounty replied through gritted teeth. His gaze seemed unfocused as well, his eyes darting round with clear confusion in them.

"Ya have to, I-"

"No...Where am I?"

Those words struck Applejack more than anything else about the scene in front of her. There wasn't any hint that he was putting this on, he sounded genuinely lost and confused. Had he been going through another of his switches when he attacked Arboreal? She backed up slightly to give him some space as he stopped trying to resist entirely, though neither Windhover or Little Hayseed let him go yet.

"You're in Ponyville. You've been here for a while." She told him in a gentler tone, gauging his reaction.

"Th-that's not right. I've been..." Bounty tensed up and started looking round quickly, even if he couldn't see much on his back. "C...Cadance? Aurora? Where are you?"

"What's he talking about?" Hayseed whispered as she watched Bounty look up at Applejack with mounting distress.

She didn't have a response, too focused on his horn. The wrap that had been placed around it was still firmly in place, so whatever had brought this on wasn't connected to the former diagnosis. Much as she wanted to have a few words with whichever doctor had settled on this, right now her priority was helping him through this latest breakdown and out of the crowd.

"Let him up," She told the others. Windhover and Hayseed carefully moved off, watching as Bounty slowly got back to his hooves. "Come with me, Bounty. I think I know where she is.

Applejack gave a small, reassuring smile, only to be met by further confusion from Bounty.

"Wh-who?" He asked flatly. Applejack stood dumbfounded for a moment before motioning for him to follow her again.

As the two of them slowly made their way off in the direction of the hospital, walking side by side through the crowd as it began to disperse, Windhover watched them go. He realised that Applejack had been right about Bounty's condition, how it was much more serious than anticipated. He almost understood how she felt right now, standing here, not knowing what was happening, what he was supposed to do. A small part of him wondered if he should go with her, but he reasoning that she had a better understanding of the situation than he had did and turned away, hoping to salvage what was left of the day. Not noticing Applejack glance back toward him before she disappeared into the crowds.

"The hell was that about?" Arboreal panted as she got up, rubbing her neck and wincing slightly. She seemed a little unsteady on her hooves as well, even more rattled by what had happened than she cared to admit. While Little Hayseed did her best to support her, Windhover stopped next to them and gave one last look back.

"I wish I knew." He said simply, ignoring Arboreal's disappointed muttering as she slowly made her way out of the square. At this point, he wasn't sure if he was more surprised that something as crazy as this was happening, or that he hadn't seen it coming.

Comprehension

January 5th

"Windhover, can I ask a favour of ya?"

Windhover paused in mid-air as he finished placing a box full of tools down in the upper reaches of the barn. He hadn't expected to hear Applejack's voice again today, due to her dealing with 'the boring stuff' while he did his best with the tasks of the day and the fact neither of them had had much to say recently.

It had been a week and a half since Bounty had been readmitted to Ponyville Hospital after his latest outburst and spirits were low for everypony. Bounty had been kept in while doctors ran every test they could to try and figure out the truth of his condition. Applejack had become more withdrawn as well, the few occasions Windhover had been able to be around her for any extended time had seen her unusually quiet. Windhover himself had been left with many lingering concerns as well, even as he tried to distract himself by covering duties at the farm for the still rattled Arboreal. After everything he'd learned about Bounty, he couldn't help but feel somewhat responsible for the change in the unicorn's behaviour. Migranges were one thing but the fact he seemed to shift after they first met...

Windhover gritted his teeth slightly and pushed the thought aside. Trying to blame himself for something that nopony seemed to understand was ridiculous. The best he could do now was wait for the right moment and then try to clear the air with Bounty. And then, maybe, finally come clean with Applejack. First things first though. He dropped back down to the floor of the barn where Applejack was waiting for him, pressing his wings in on landing to keep his coat from flapping out and kicking up straw. She had pre-emptively covered her face with her hat in case he did just that, quickly slipping it back into place as soon as she realised he had come down gently.

"Sorry, guess I'm still used to Rainbow Dash's way of landing." She said as he adjusted his beanie slightly and turned to face her.

"Fast and with nothing in the same place it was before, I'm guessing," Windhover replied, the two of them sharing a small chuckle at the thought before he straightened up slightly. "Anyhow, you needed a favour. What's up?"

"Well, firstly there's some good news relating to it, an' some not-quite-so-good news."

"Okay," Windhover adjusted his wings slightly and blinked a few times, hoping he looked like he was still calm. "Let's go for the good news first."

"Good news, Bounty's set to be discharged from the hospital this evening." Applejack couldn't help but smile slightly as she said it.

"They've figured it out? Great!" Windhover gave a small hoofpump at the news. Even with his reservations about the unicorn, it was a relief to hear that he might finally be past the worst.

"That's, the not-so-good news," Applejack replied quickly, cutting Windhover's celebration short. "Apparently they're having a mite more trouble figuring it all out than they hoped an', well, they'd like one of his friends to escort him home. Just in case."

"And you think that I'm that friend...?" Windhover tensed slightly as he realised what he'd said. Applejack simply nodded, though her expression had become slightly more unimpressed.

"Ah'm not blind. I know you two have had more tension than a tied up cable recently, but this'd be a good chance to try and overcome that. I'd go mahself, but I've got to finish up my export orders to Los Pegasus and Orlon today, an' none of the others could be told in time to get there."

"Say no more," He already knew from their past letters how important the farm's deliveries to both the jewel of the south and the minotaur capital were to keep running. Part of him wanted to offer to handle it for her, but he was useless at paperwork. "When do I need to be there by?"

"Uh, about twenty minutes from now."

"Right. I'll catch up with you back here once Bounty's home safe."

Windhover wasted no time, heading out of the barn at a run, flecks of snow kicking up around his hooves before his wings shot open and he took off into the cloudy afternoon skies. He hadn't anticipated the opportunity to try and settle things coming up so soon but he was grabbing it with both hooves. By the time Applejack had stepped out of the barn to watch his flight, he was already gone.

Windhover quickly wished he hadn't got there so quickly.

Hospitals came across as unnerving to him. Between the sterility, the sense of emptiness and the nagging sensation that somewhere within their walls, somepony was having to watch another pony die at any time, going into one anywhere put him on edge. Even though he likely didn't need to go any further than the reception, the increasing cold outside and encroaching darkness as evening closed in didn't help those feelings. As he landed at the entrance and shook his wings to get some warmth back into them, Windhover bit back his discomfort and focused on why he was here. Because a friend had asked him to help another friend. That thought helped fire him up enough to keep moving again.

He stepped through the front doors and relaxed at the feeling of conditioned warmth washing over him and bringing his shivers under control. Compared to outside, even this was welcome and let him relax enough to take in his surroundings. Compared to the hospitals back home, this entrance area was small with only a dozen benches and a receptionist's booth. Whether that said more about how little it was needed or the efficiency of the doctors here was up for debate. At present only two other ponies were here. A somewhat elderly earth mare with a white coat, pink mane and blue eyes behind the receptionist desk, and Bounty filling out some papers on the other side. The unicorn looked up on hearing the approaching hoofsteps and stopped for a moment as he saw Windhover.

"Windhover, what're you doing here?" Bounty asked as the pegasus lifted his goggles and came over. Up close, it was clearer that the unicorn's horn wrap had been removed and he had full use of his magic again. The fact he also had a quill held in his blue magic aura helped.

"Ah, well..." Windhover paused mid-sentence, wondering how he should go about this. If Bounty was still susceptible to flipping out then anything he said was a minefield of potential triggers. Then again, that meant he had nothing to lose by being honest. "Applejack was told you'd need somepony to stay with you on your way home and she asked if I could do it."

Bounty simply stared at him for a second before his expression softened slightly and he nodded.

"Okay, sure, that's sensible." He said as he turned back to the forms and finished ticking some boxes on them.

"Oh, speaking of which. If you do decide to consult with miss Zecora, be sure to have somepony with you when you go." The mare piped up, her voice carrying authority despite her ago.

"Of course. Wouldn't help if I blanked out in the middle of the Everfree, would it?" Bounty chuckled softly as he placed his quill down and passed the forms over to be checked.

"Alright. Stay safe, Bounty. I hope whatever you're going through is diagnosed soon."

"Thank you for that and all your help, Mrs Redheart," Bounty gave a small sigh as he stepped back and turned to Windhover. "Alright, let's go. I'm looking forward to some real food."

"Is hospital food really that bad?" Windhover asked as the two of them headed for the exit.

"Okay, not really. But everypony seems to make that joke."

The conversation momentarily died down as they stepped back into the snow, the biting cold staggering them both slightly. Fortunately any further snowfall had held off and it remained light enough to see for now. Bounty motioned the direction they had to take before leading on toward southern Ponyville. Now that Windhover had a proper chance to get a good look at him, he could see that he did look rough. That look of not sleeping well was back and his movements carried a slight hesitance to them. He still seemed perky in attitude at least, though there was no warning on how long that might last.

"So, was the rest of it as bad as the food?" Windhover asked, spreading his right wing to shield the two of them from an errant gust of wind.

"It was about what you'd expect from learning you have a condition that appears to have never been seen in ponies before," Bounty replied, lowering his head to make the most of the wind shield. "Lots of attention and tests, takes a lot out of you. It's not all bad news though."

"I can see, having your magic back and all."

"That's part of it. Since it's not onero syndrome I don't have to restrict my magic anymore. When I was being checked to see my horn was working properly I learned something else I can do with my magic. It's tough to explain to a non-unicorn but, it's like I can siphon off part of my magic and momentarily transfer it to another magic user. Not sure how much use such a thing is with my lifestyle but it's still pretty amazing."

"So, how exactly did you figure that out?" Windhover asked as he lowered his wing again.

"Pure accident during checkups, and I kind of couldn't keep up with the technical explanation the doctors gave me. I was more focused on the fact I was allowed to go home." Bounty admitted as he straightened up and slowed down.

"To be fair, I'd have the same reaction if they brought all that medical jargon into it after telling me I could go."

"Yeah, there was a lot of that too. Apparently my...Whatever I'm going through is something they've never dealt with before, enough that they're actually sending my files to Canterlot for study. Hopefully somepony in the archives can find something that'll help."

"I hope they do too." Windhover looked over at Bounty as he said it, silently gauging his reaction. He wasn't sure what he expected anymore, not with a mind as unpredictable as his had become. All things considered, it was almost surprising to see Bounty look back and smile thankfully.

"Thanks..." He replied simply. The two of them continued walking in silence for another minute before he spoke up again. "Listen, Windhover. I probably should have said this sooner but, I'm sorry for snapping at you about Applejack when we first met. I won't lie, I did feel threatened due to my feelings for her and seeing another pony with the same. But that was no excuse for what I did and I can't blame it on my...Instabilities, either. So, for what it's worth, I'm very sorry about that."

"Erm...You're forgiven," Windhover replied, pausing as Bounty sighed in relief. "But, how'd you know?"

"Because you're not the only one who went through clumsily trying to hide it."

The two of them shared a small chuckle at that, managing to defuse some of the tension from Bounty's comment. Windhover's mind was racing due to it though, his body on autopilot as they reached Bounty's house and made their goodbyes to each other. A small part of him had been wondering for some time if he was doing the right thing in trying to keep how he felt hidden. Bounty outright saying he had gone through the same thing put it in a new light though.

Either he could stay silent and risk losing his chance, or be open about it and risk the worst happening being a definite no. It was similar to what he had reasoned earlier, there was far less to lose by being honest. Yes, he would tell her the truth about himself. In more ways than one.

It took a moment for Windhover to realise that he had been so deep in thought that he had remained outside Bounty's house for a minute after the stallion had actually gone inside. He took off immediately and headed back toward Sweet Apple Acres. By now evening had fully set in and the darkness was worsened as fresh snow began to fall. He cut through the air as though it was a clear summer's morning though, his fresh drive burning through the chill that surrounded him. It only took a few minutes to reach the outskirts of the farm, though as he approached he noticed that none of the lights were on at the farmhouse and the perimeter gates had been closed. Windhover came in to land near the main gate, only to stop and hover in mid-air as he saw a sign that had been put up just above the lock.

Currently unavailable due to friendship duties, please direct any farm inquiries to Big McIntosh until further notice.

Thank you, Applejack.

Windhover blinked slowly as he took in the message, biting his tongue as he realised that circumstances had cost him his chance for today. He couldn't exactly follow Applejack to Celestia knows where and try to explain himself when she had far more important things to deal with. For now, he simply turned and began to fly back to his accommodations, silently cursing his timing and hoping for another chance to come along.

Hopefully sooner rather than later.

A Link to the Truth

January 6th

Another cold morning had risen over Ponyville, a full cloud cover accentuating the chill in the air. Many ponies had elected to stay indoors and keep warm after last night's snowfall. For the Sweet Apple Acres team, that wasn't an option. Preparations had to be made for upcoming shipments of their products across Equestria and beyond, plus they had to do so without the commanding presence of Applejack. She was still an element of harmony and still had to head out on missions of friendship, no matter her personal circumstances. As such, she was currently en route to the Crystal Empire and everypony else was following Big Mac's lead for the next few days.

The news had come as a major surprise to Windhover. He knew Applejack was a pony committed to her duties but heading halfway across the continent at the drop of a hat had caught him out. More frustratingly though, it meant that he had to wait a little longer to get everything off his chest that he had planned to say the night before. On the other hoof, Bounty was more used to it happening but the timing was even more inopportune. By this point, without Applejack present, many of the other ponies around him were silently wondering if it wasn't a case of if his next outburst would occur, but when. It didn't help that having Bounty and Arboreal in the same space was creating a massive sense of tension throughout the farm.

"You know, it's probably a good thing Applejack's not here." Little Hayseed said to Windhover as the two of them packed apples into a crate.

"How'd you figure that?"

"Well, much as I'd rather be outside freezing my flanks off instead of sitting in this nest of bad vibes, stuff's getting done. Applejack's a good mare but she'd be trying to straighten things out and we'd lose a lot of time just trying to get Bounty and Arboreal to talk to each other again."

Windhover tilted his head slightly and looked back in thought. Even as he watched, Bounty asked Arboreal to pass a hammer to him only for the mare to throw it over her shoulder and embed the handle in a haybale several feet away from him. The real kicker was that she flinched slightly when she heard the impact. For all the effort she put up into keeping that air of distain, she was obviously still shaken up from their previous encounter.

"Yeah, that'd take a lot of work." Windhover shook his head and focused back on his own work. As bad as it felt to think about, he couldn't see anything about Bounty's situation improving until the true cause of his instability was discovered.

The two of them remained silent after that, focusing on getting everything fitted into the crate. As they were finishing up and fitting the lid on for Bounty to secure it, a flash of realisation crossed Hayseed's face and she looked down at Windhover.

"You know, now I've had a chance to properly hear it, your voice is really familiar..." She said, watching in surprise as he tensed momentarily before looking back at her.

"How so?"

"Well, I spent a few years on the Baltimare farms and I heard a good number of accents from the area during that time. Based on yours, you're from the Marebourne district, no?"

"Y-yes, well deducted." Windhover shifted slightly in place, his voice going slightly tense.

"You don't hear that accent outside of Baltimare very often," Hayseed continued, getting the lid of the crate into place. "Last time I heard it was from a pony living in Manehatten. A quite successful musician."

Windhover didn't reply. She looked over at him again to see he was sweating bullets around his goggles before glancing back to the others. Bounty and Arboreal were still engaged in their own tasks and didn't seem to have overheard, while Big Mac was outside the barn dealing with something else.

"Wait..." Little Hayseed looked at him in surprise before her eyes widened and her voice dropped to a conspiratal whisper. "Oh shoot. I'm sorry, I had no idea. Does explain a lot about your outfit though."

"Yeah, I was trying to keep it quiet," Windhover replied quietly. "I'm gonna tell Applejack when I can, but until then...Please keep this quiet."

"Of course, but I'm asking for an autograph after you do."

Windhover chuckled and nodded in thanks. Hayseed simply smiled before looking round at the sound of hoofsteps behind them.

"You two done with that crate?" Bounty asked as he came over.

"Yep, all ready for you." Windhover replied as he stepped back to let the unicorn check it before taking his hammer in his magic and starting on nailing the lid into place.

"So, what were you two chatting about so quietly?"

"Would you believe I was asking him out?" Hayseed replied. Windhover looked up at her with a mix of shock and incredulity, Bounty's jaw dropped slightly and even Arboreal looked round at them in surprise.

"We were ah err bh...bh bh." Windhover stammered, struggling to find words. Hayseed looked down at him before trying and failing to stifle a laugh.

"Pfffhahaha! S-sorry..." She said as she covered her mouth with a hoof. "Couldn't resist. The look on your faces, plus it lightened the mood. Worth it."

"Yeah, I guess it did." Arboreal commented.

"You're crazy, you know," Windhover added, though even as he shook his head he was wearing a small smile. "The fun kind though, like Pinkie Pie crazy."

Little Hayseed smiled more and stepped back to let Bounty finish up with his work. The unicorn quickly managed to secure the lid in place and spun round as he gripped the whole box in his magic. After a moment of focus he managed to lift the entire box and carry it to the other side of the barn to place it down next to the first crate. Windhover couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at the sight. That crate had to weight at least a hundred kilos, enough that a regular unicorn would have struggled to carry it that distance. Yet he made it look so easy.

"Damn. I don't have the most experience with it but I've never seen magic used like this." Hayseed said.

Windhover nodded slightly before looking over to Arboreal. Instead of her usual air of detachment, she was staring straight at Bounty with an odd mix of surprise, fear and concern running across her features. Then he realised that the unicorn hadn't moved at all since he'd placed the crate down. Windhover and Hayseed both moved round to his front slowly and took in the sight. Bounty was stood firmly in place, the only movement coming from his eyes as they occasionally shifted their position slightly. It looked like he was halfway between thoughtful and catatonic.

"Bounty? Buddy? You ok?" Hayseed said quietly as she waved a hoof in front of his eyes. Windhover and Arboreal looked on in concern.

None of them had any idea what was going through his mind.

"-I've never seen magic used like this."

Bounty's breaths were quick as he looked up. It wasn't his movement though, he hadn't chosen to do that. This was...A memory. A vivid one though, even if he could hardly feel anything around him. He was in a white room, modestly but very finely decorated. It almost looked like a lounge of some kind. It did raise a significant question though. If this was a memory, why didn't he ever remember seeing this place before? For that matter, where was he?

A quick glimpse of a window to his right showed sun coming in and the view outside. It was, Canterlot. But, he'd never been to Canterlot in his life. Even more strangely, all the pictures he'd seen indicated that there was no way the city could be seen from this angle unless he was inside the castle.

Wait, why was he inside the castle?

He looked forward again and recoiled, or he would have if he had any control right now. His mind caught up with his ears at that point and he realised just who had been speaking to him before. None other than Princess Celestia herself was standing before him, looking down at him with a look of concern.

'Princess? What's going on? How'd I get here?'

That was what he wanted to say. Though the voice that came out of his mouth was his own, the words were not.

"I-I don't understand any of this..." The Bounty of this 'memory' actually said, rubbing his forehead. That was when he noticed something else strange about this whole situation. He couldn't feel anything, no indications of how 'he' was, or had been, feeling.

"I'm afraid even I don't fully understand either," Celestia continued as Bounty sat back on his flanks and shook his head quickly. "What Sunset Shimmer did was previously considered impossible."

Sunset Shimmer? The now missing student of the princess? What did she have to do with this?

"So...What happens to me now?"

"Hmm...It is a most difficult situation. You are, if you don't mind me saying, something of a magical anomaly."

Wait, what?!

"While there is so much you could teach us, just handing you over to the Institute may not be best. Chief Moondancer may be moral but she knows how to run a pony ragged. Something that you don't need until your mind learns to cope with who you are."

"I..." Bounty sighed and looked down, pressing a hoof against his right temple. It seemed like neither version of him knew what was going on right now. "But, what am I supposed to do then?"

"There is no clear solution to something like this, anything I might do would likely to temporary at best," Celestia admitted, slowly walking round Bounty and taking in everything about him. Her gaze was focused but still unable to hide her concern. "However, the best I feel we can do would be to let you be free to live. To learn on your own terms without having to go through anything that would restrict you. I will give you an identity for that time, until you need to return."

"U-until I return?" Bounty asked nervously. "You make it sound like I'll lose whatever you give me."

"The truth cannot be hidden forever," Celestia admitted as she moved back in front of him. "But it will be years before it surfaces again. When it does, you will be ready to face the truth again."

"W...Will it hurt when my memories come back?"

"I hope not. The thought of directly harming one of my little ponies through my actions..." Celestia looked away sadly for a moment before focusing on him again, her eyes glancing down at his cutie mark. "When that time comes, find your way back to the castle and let somepony know that...That Bounty, has need of me. I will do my best from there."

Though his body nodded, Bounty's mind was racing. This, whatever it was now, was lacking a lot of context but it both answered and asked so many questions. Most importantly, just who was he? The implication was that Bounty was just a persona and the truth, as the princess had put it, was resurfacing. It was lucky that he couldn't feel anything right now because it almost certainly would have been overwhelming him. He had learned something important though. All his unfocused desperation whenever he thought about finding something the past few weeks had been stymied by the fact he didn't know what to find. Now he knew exactly what, or who.

There wasn't enough time to think it through though, his body had bowed his head. He felt Princess Celestia gently place the tip of her horn against his and his world went white.

Bounty's vision was hazy as his eyes opened again. He was on his back now, that was about all he could figure out right now. His muscles ached and his eyes burned like he'd been holding them open far longer than he should. He could hear voices above him, two mares and one stallion. His eyes started to focus and he could make out the figures behind the voices. A blue earth...No, a crystal pony stallion, a purple crystal mare and a pink unicorn. Actually, with a little more focus he could see it was an alicorn. Queen Cadance, again? Above them stood a crystal roof adorned in pale blue and pink. In his current state of mind, it didn't even occur to him that this might be another hallucination.

"Uhhh, not in Ponyville...Not in Canterlot." He groaned before blinking again.

The whole world shifted in the space of that blink. The cold of the floor beneath him was gone and replaced with the gentle plush of cushions. Instead of crystal ceilings stood regular wood ones. The three ponies above him now more familiar. Windhover and Little Hayseed where both looking down at him with concern, though also with dawning relief. The third was a silver coated, blond maned unicorn stallion in a doctor's coat. Bounty couldn't remember the name right now but his recovering mind realised it must have been bad for him to be called out.

"Wh...What happened to me?" He asked quietly, rolling his head to the side to try and see what time it was outside. The sun was already starting to set

"You just completely locked down on us, standing there in the barn all day," Hayseed explained, shifting back to give him some space. "Then half an hour ago you muttered something about Princess Celestia and collapsed. We brought you in here and-"

Bounty had tuned out by that point, his eyes widening as it all came back to him. Things made so much more sense now. All his instabilities, the blackouts, the need to find something that eluded him. It was the truth about himself fighting to come back out, just as Princess Celestia had said. He still didn't know who this 'anomaly' that she said he had been before becoming Bounty was, but he was starting to get ideas about that too. Right now, the one thing that actually mattered was that he had a way to fix most of his problems. Both with himself and with Applejack and Windhover.

"Everypony, this might sound crazy, but I have to ge-" Bounty started as he got up quickly. That burning in his muscles became even more prominent as he did though and the pain silenced him as he nearly overbalanced off the couch he'd been resting on.

"Easy mate, easy," Windhover said as he caught Bounty and carefully lifted him back into his seat with Hayseed's help. "You're in no fit state to go anywhere right now.

"No food or water for a whole day'll do that to you." Arboreal's voice came from nearby. Bounty looked up to see her watching from by the door. Her expression was softer than usual, showing actual concern for his wellbeing.

"Besides, what could be so important that you'd be willing to trudge through the cold in your current state?" Windhover asked, stepping back as the doctor got to checking Bounty over. The unicorn took a few breaths before looking up at his friends.

"Finding out the truth to my existence, that's what."

Who I am

January 9th

Bounty gritted his teeth slightly as he tried not to think about how he was still in Ponyville.

He had the bits for a train to Canterlot, he had the determination to go, he needed to go ASAP. Unfortunately for him, a misjudgement by the weather management teams had resulted in an avalanche in the mountains and the direct train route had been blocked. Snow could be cleared away easily but repairs to the tracks would take a few days. Taking a train to somewhere like Vanhoover and then onward to Canterlot would cost more than he had at the moment and going directly would likely require a death wish. The fields between Ponyville and Canterlot had seen a lot of snowfall and it was bitingly cold outside of town. It didn't help that a fog had descended during the night and he could only see about thirty feet in front of him at present.

So he was stuck here for a few more days and he was bored to tears already. Applejack had returned from her map mission in high spirits two days ago, though she had been shocked by the news of his little shutdown. Despite his best efforts to persuade her that he was still fit to keep working for as long as it took for him to head for Canterlot, she had restricted him to only the lightest duties and was making a habit of checking on him. Not that he minded the attention, getting to hang around with a pony as sweet as her was always a plus. It was just that he didn't feel as weak as he had before. Now that he had begun to understand the truth about himself, his outbursts were becoming easer to manage.

Much of his free time was now taken up thinking, trying to remember. Some parts he now understood, others less so. He had taken it all better than expected though, the revelation that he had been...Well, he still wasn't entirely sure what he had been. He was far from a normal pony though, if he was even a pony at all. The fact Princess Celestia had given him his false identity could mean so many things, the only one he was completely confident in ruling out was the possibility that he was a changeling.

On top of that, during his concentrated efforts to learn more he had seen flashes of memories. Images, voices, hints of a life that wasn't his. He had never been able to catch them long enough to study them, if he just had a little time to do so...

Luckily, today seemed to offer that chance for him. Now that he had finally gotten some proper rest, Applejack had finally relented on making him take it easy and assigned him to man the apple stall for this morning's market. Since the spots in the market had to be booked in advance without explicitly knowing the weather, it looked like he had a morning to think things over.

"I've had worse starts to the day." Bounty said to himself as he lifted a pair of buckets filled with apples into the stall. Given how few ponies were likely to be around today, it was likely he wouldn't even sell that many.

With the buckets firmly in place he stepped behind the stall and looked down at a small campfire that he had gathered earlier. A spark of magic ignited the branches and started a fire that rose gently and bathed him in a sudden, strong but welcome warmth. Bounty couldn't help but smile to himself. Considering it was still firmly winter, this setup wasn't bad. Most of the other stalls he could see through the fog were being manned by other produce traders today, all of them doing their best to stave off the chill in the air. One of the others, a flax yellow earth stallion with a green mane and eyes and tri-carrot cutie mark, was also attempting to get a fire going with much less success. After a minute he got up and looked over toward Bounty's position, trying to stave off the shivers.

"S-'scuse me," Carrot Crunch called from his stand. "Could I g-get a little help with this?"

"Err, sure." Bounty replied, silently surprised that he was being asked for help. He wasn't going to ignore it though and quickly trotted over, lighting up the stallion's fire with similar ease.

"Thanks!" Crunch said happily as he started to warm up, only to stop as he noticed Bounty glancing round warily. "Hey, you ok?"

"I hope so." Bounty replied quietly. He could see the looks a few of the ponies at the nearby stands, silently watching him. He didn't need to recognise them to know what they were thinking about him, virtually everypony in town had heard about what happened at the party.

"Hey, chin up, eh? I know you've had a rough patch but they don't last forever, right?"

"Yeah, I guess they don't. Thanks." Bounty said as he nodded to Crunch and went back to his own stall.

He hadn't given it much thought before, but this did seem to be the end of everything he'd been going through. The mood variations, the migraines, the blackouts, all of it had been his mind turning against itself as the truth fought to emerge again. Now that he had started to realise just what he was, all those issues that had plagued him for weeks, months in some cases, were all starting to subside. They still lingered though, because realising and accepting were two different things, and he couldn't accept it fully until he answered the biggest question.

Not what he was, but who he was, before he was 'Bounty'.

The fog was just starting to lift by now and only one or two ponies had entered the marketplace to shop, though none of them had come his way. That offered some time to try and think about how he could work out the rest of the mystery surrounding him. Those glimpses that he caught when thinking about the subject, those felt like they were hits to the absolute truth that lay just beyond his reach. It was a stretch in logic, but he had nothing else to go on right now. He closed his eyes and focused on that last one he could remember, doing his best to relax and just try to remember.

What was the most significant detail from that flash? Something white...Laid out in front of him. It had to be a tablecloth, with quite a sizeable table under it. There was...A teapot in the center, alongside a cake of some kind. He had a cup of tea in front of him as well. That was all he could remember seeing in his glimpse. But the more he thought about it, the more the memory just...Clicked.

"Next thing I know, Cadance is prying a bawling Aurora from the rafters and I'm just sitting there thinking we really should have expected something like this."

That wasn't his voice. It was close but...He knew who it was. All those blackouts suddenly felt a lot less random.

Though he still had no control over the memory, he could feel it this time. He was calm, comfortable, slightly warm from the tea. Sitting directly across from him at the table was Princess Celestia again, chuckling softly as she watched him. Sitting to her left was a unicorn mare he didn't recognise, orange furred, red and yellow striped mane, teal eyes that were focused on him with an intensity that was almost unnerving. It probably would have crossed into full on creepy if not for the fact that she was steadily sliding off her seat as she watched, so focused that she'd forgotten to sit up straight.

Then her horn lit up and concern started to flood him.

"Ahh, Sunset?" His body asked quietly, his mind tensing. That was the princesses former student? When did this take place?

In his mind, this scene had to be taking place inside Canterlot Castle and he had only been to the city once in his life, trying to apply for a position among the staff of the royal gardens. But, that had to have been one of his false memories. There may just have been some hint of truth in it though, he remembered that taking place in the summer, two and a half years ago.

That scene outside the window in his last flashback had looked a lot like a summers evening.

"Sunset!" Celestia's voice shook her student from her daze. Unfortunately, her current position meant that she lost her balance and fell off her seat. He stood up to check she was alright, just in time to hear her hitting the floor be drowned out by the whine of magic activating. Then a beam hit him in the neck.

The world went white and his body felt like it was on fire. If he could have screamed he would have. Then it all just stopped as suddenly as it started. No pain, no fear, no...Nothing. It was as if his entire existence had come to a halt, held in a limbo of pure silence. Then it ended and his hooves gave out from under him as existence came back to him with a crash. There was far less pain now, aside from where he had come down on his right side, instead replaced by a crushing sense of every emotion he could imagine, all hitting him at once. The sensation was enough to blank him out again for a moment before the conflicting feelings subsided enough for him to take stock of the situation.

His body had gone largely numb, though he was aware of something at his back. On the plus side he was still in the same room as before, at least it looked that way from on the floor. He glanced up as he realised somepony was over him, seeing a red crystal mare in guards armour watching him closely. He slowly shifted his head backward and saw Sunset Shimmer still on the floor on the other side of the table, unmoving as Princess Celestia pushed another crystal guard's spear away from the unicorn. Just at the edge of his vision was the figure he had his back against. A white unicorn stallion, his face identical in appearance to his own except for the colours of his mane being blue instead of green.

He recognised him instantly.

"Who are you?" The guard above him demanded. Though his mouth didn't want to work in the memory, in his mind he was saying the answer clear as day.

He finally knew just who he had been before this.

"My name's Sh-"

Bounty stopped speaking as he jerked his head upward. The memory had slipped away again and he was back in the cold. He wasn't sure just how long he'd been zoned out but a few pegasi were now in the air clearing away the fog and another was waiting in front of the stall, an orange mare with a purple mane, lighter purple eyes and cutie mark of a purple aviator helmet with blue goggles.

"Oh, err, I'm...Still here." Bounty said, mostly to himself. That flashback had been quite vivid. It would have to wait for a minute though as he focused on the mare, recognising her properly now.

"Okay...Just gonna let that go by." Scootaloo said warily as she picked out an apple from the stall.

Bounty didn't reply to that, feeling things were awkward enough as they were. He had no idea how long she'd been standing there and for all he knew she'd been standing there for the last five minutes watching him mime out what he'd been experiencing. The rest of the transaction was done in a semi-uncomfortable silence as Scootaloo paid for her apple and headed off toward the edge of town. As he watched her go, Bounty allowed himself to smile slightly. It was no secret that she had struggled with her inability to fly her whole life but recent rumors around town implied that she was starting to find a way to circumvent whatever issue had plagued her and take to the air at long last. Even if it was wasn't true, it was inspirational.

As the morning dragged on and Bounty made a few more sales, he was able to think through all the pieces he'd put together. Though he still lacked a lot of context, there was enough to figure out the bones of the truth. By mid-day, he had got enough together to relax about it and was simply enjoying his dwindling campfire before the sound of hoofsteps crunching in the snow drew his attention.

"How're ya going?" Applejack asked as she approached him, glancing aside to see how many sales he had made.

"Well I'm probably going to need to look for more firewood but other than that, I'm pretty good." Bounty replied as he stretched his hind legs out to get them closer to the fire.

"So, nothing getting you down today. Mighty glad to hear it." She said, sitting down next to him and simply taking in the heat for a minute.

"Well, normally it would be, but today I'm honestly too happy to care."

"Say what now?" She looked over at him as he stretched out his neck muscles and looked back toward her. This hadn't been how he'd planned to tell her but, the moment seemed right.

"Well, I think I might have finally figured out just what I am and why I've been suffering so much. I'm just that glad to realise it that I don't even care I'm not really a pony."

"Yer a pony to me," Applejack said softly, placing a hoof on his shoulder. "Ah'm not sure where all this that you ain't a pony is coming from, though I think yer about to tell me. But all these years we've worked together I've seen you go through more than your fair share of hardships and just as many good times too. You've experienced joy, sadness, anger, passion and more, the full set of emotions that help make us who we are. Ah look at you and I see a regular old pony."

As he looked back up at her and saw nothing but gentle, simple truth in her eyes, Bounty couldn't help but smile. Applejack had always done her best for him despite his...Quirks. There had always been a spark of something between them too, something more than friendship, something he wanted to believe was love. If she felt as much for him as he did for her, he wasn't sure. But right here, with a truly clear mind, he could look at her and see it how it was. From her perfectly toned body to her razor sharp wits, her infallible will to her commanding yet caring personality...He truly loved her.

Suddenly, it was a lot harder to think about what he was.

How could she love something that wasn't, in a sense, real?

He took a deep breath and steeled himself. It had to be said though. The truth never stayed hidden.

"Well, I appreciate that. But that's the thing...I'm not a regular pony, never have been. What I'm about to say might sound ridiculous but I need you to hear it out."

"Sugarcube, ah've been dealing with the ridiculous ever since the return of Nightmare Moon. It can't be that bad." Applejack told him, smiling reassuringly. Despite how deflated his mood had become, Bounty couldn't help but blush slightly at the sight of it.

"Alright, so the thing is...I'm a clone, or a magic copy, or whatever the specific thing that created me was. The pony I'm based from is Shining Armor. I had a flashback in his body earlier of him being accidentally hit by a spell and when the effects had cleared, I woke up in the scene as me, next to him. It makes sense now. I kept thinking I was in the Crystal Empire because I kept thinking I was him, if my mind is based on his as well. All my mysterious breaks and outbursts, that was my true identity trying to emerge again past the one Princess Celestia gave me...Wow, it really does sound crazy when said out loud."

Bounty paused and rubbed his leg nervously. He'd been looking into the sinking flames as he spoke, fearing that Applejack might not believe him. It did sound like something out of a bad coltfic now it was out in the open. He slowly looked round toward Applejack again, expecting confusion at best, dismissal at worst. The look on her face was one he had not been expecting:

Dawning realisation.

"Y'know, while I was up in the Crystal City fer my map duties, I spoke to Shining Armor," She said quietly, half to him, half to herself. "He looked a little off an' at one point, I thought I saw the tail end of him going through a moment similar to what you've been dealing with."

"On the sixth?" Bounty tensed up slightly. "It wouldn't happen to have been in the early evening would it?"

"Well ain't that a fine guess, it was..." Applejack tensed as well as she realised. "The same time as Mac said you'd had another of yer moments."

"So, you believe me?"

"Never said ah didn't. But that's far too similar to be a coincidence."

"Ok, thanks," Bounty sat back slightly, starting to allow himself to relax again. "So, I think I know what I'm supposed to do about it, but it'll take a little work. You wouldn't happen to know where Princess Twilight is would you?"

"Oh, she's in Canterlot right now. She didn't say what it was about an' ah'm not sure how long she'd be there...Pretty sure that Spike's with her though, so..." Applejack got up and took out the stall's 'Be Right Back' sign and placed it at the front before putting the fire out. "Come on, I've got an idea."

Bounty had been inside Twilight Sparkle's castle a few times since moving to Ponyville, mostly looking for information on orchard work and stamina boosting tactics during applebuck season. Normally it just felt like any other place in town; warm, welcoming and with ponies that were always good for help. Right now though, without the presence of the princess of friendship and her dragon companion, it felt rather cold and imposing. It made him uncomfortable, but he couldn't let it distract him right now. He had a chance to fix everything about him, all with a simple message.

Applejack had brought him to the castle library, passed him a quill and parchment and said for him to write down what he wanted to tell Twilight. It was quick and to the point, explaining what he was, his recent discoveries and what he needed to do, along with a cautious query if she would be able to teleport him to Canterlot. Once it was written up, Applejack had fitted a seal to the letter and told him to blast it with his magic. Counterproductive as it sounded, he'd done so and watched as it vanished instead of being reduced to ash.

"Yer not familar with Spike's ability are ya?" Applejack asked as she stifled a giggle at the look on his face. "Anythin' with that mark on'll make its way to him. If he's with her, Twilight will send a response back faster than you can clear a tree of apples."

"Huh, fascinating," Bounty commented as he stepped back slightly and looked over at her. "Applejack, thanks for your help in this."

"Aww shoot, it ain't nothing." Though she sounded casual about it, Applejack did blush slightly as she said it.

That only stung more, the idea that she might feel something back for him just as he was finding out that they might never be able to do anything about it.

"It's something to me." He replied simply, smiling weakly and looking away.

Not wanting to drag the issue out further, Bounty settled for pacing around the library, browsing the books Twilight had for several minutes before the sound of something rematerialising behind him drew his attention. A parchment wrapped in the same seal as the one he had sent was sitting on the table, Applejack looking over at him and nodding. He quickly trotted over and opened it up, reading it out.

Bounty,

All I can is, I'm sorry.

I've known. The whole time you've been in Ponyville, I've known that you were...Created, when my brother was hit by an anima replicare spell in August of Year 20. Princess Celestia asked that I keep watch over you and to try and support you through everything you've been going through. I'm sorry that it had to happen during a time when I wasn't there to help you. The princess is aware though and will be ready to help you properly as soon as you can make it to Canterlot.

About being able to bring you here though...Unfortunately, both of us have encountered an unexpected matter that requires our complete attention for the next few days. Applejack can confirm that I wouldn't turn you down unless it was an absolutely critical, implications-for-all-of-Equestria issue. I'll find a way to make it up to you as best I can.

Again, I'm so sorry about this and I hope you haven't suffered too badly.

Twilight Sparkle

Bounty stared at the letter for a moment, processing what he'd just read. Twilight had been in on what he was from the start, she was supposed to have helped, he had just been struggling with his confusion and fear because of some unlucky timing, and now he had to wait even longer for a solution. He finally lowered it and looked over at Applejack, who was looking back at him with a mix of concern, surprise and pity.

"Well. Bugger."

Author's Note

Funnily enough, this chapter started out as the most redundant in my notes. I only planned to include it because Rising Above had included Scootaloo’s perspective of the scene. Then it turned out to be the best chapter in this mess.

Ironic, eh?

Who I Really Am

January 11th

After everything that had happened over the past three weeks, Applejack couldn't help but consider manual labour out in the cold as a day off. It helped that the constant chill gnawed away at her nerves. It was a lot harder to be distracted by the return of the tension around her heart when the feeling was spread across her entire body. Out here she could just handle her business and her thoughts without having anypony relying on her. Because while she still considered herself the loyalist of friends and most dependable of ponies, there were still times when she needed to get away and unwind from all that.

Something that often went overlooked about her was her need for stability. That constant source of comfort in her life of knowing what she had, the farm, her siblings, her friends. Some ponies seemed to think that she tried to stay out of the smaller adventures her friends got involved with, but she was there as much as if not more than the others. She just didn't get quite so directly involved thanks to her comfort zone. A zone that had been rattled by the presence of Bounty and Windhover, not helped by her visit to the Crystal Empire. She had come back to Ponyville with a quiet desire to find somepony of her own and put down that cold tension for good. The trouble was, she had two that had wormed their way into her heart.

Bounty was a complex case. He was local to Ponyville, hardworking, reliable, committed to any task he was given, plus he was quite the looker. Though given everything she'd found out about him, it wasn't that surprising. Shining Armor had a model's looks. That was where the complexity came in though. Despite everything she saw him as, he still spoke as though he wasn't a real pony. It was impossible to get a read on his thoughts either, given how all he was focused on at the moment was getting to Canterlot. Since Twilight was still occupied with her personal task, he'd bought a ticket for the first train to Canterlot when the route opened again this evening. Overall, as much as she liked him, there were just so many unknowns.

Windhover was almost a polar opposite. He was rather plain on the outside, though to be fair she'd never seem him without his jacket on. His personality was the better of the two though, easy-going, no nonsense, honest, lacked in drama and seemed less like he felt something for her in return. That sounded like a flaw on the surface but it meant that she had the chance to find out where things stood between them. If she decided to go down that way.

As she finished replacing the fencepost she'd been working on and started on reattaching the boards to it, Applejack glanced back toward Ponyville, the late afternoon sun hanging lazily over the town. It felt strange to think that winter wrap up would be coming soon and all this would be unrecognisable, back to it's usual green and yellows. It mirrored her own situation in a sense. She would soon be giving up her solo ways and stepping back into the search for a mate for the first time since her teenage years. Yet at the same time she wasn't looking forward to it. With two ponies that had found a place in her heart, she wasn't sure there was a decision that could be made without hurting anypony. Bounty was likely still harbouring feelings under his current distraction and she could easily suffer the sting of rejection or the regret of choosing the wrong pony. It was almost impossible to decide which of the two stallions she wanted to try and ask.

"Applejack?"

Applejack stopped and looked up as she heard Windhover's voice from above. The pegasus was coming into a hover a few dozen feet above her, though as he saw her notice him he came down to land, flicking his wings in and hitting the deck hard enough to buckle his legs. Even in the midst of her turbulent thoughts, she noticed that his wings had gone in much sooner than a pegasus normally would do so, a minor detail that she couldn't explain for now.

"Windhover? What's happening?" She asked once he'd regained his composure. Now that he was up close she just how anxious he was, shifting in place and looking away constantly. Seemed he had something big on his mind as well.

"Well, see the thing is..." He gritted his teeth for a moment and swallowed before looking toward her again. "I'm heading back to Manehatten this evening and, there's a few things I wanted to talk to you about before that. Some things I need to say while I've got the chance."

Applejack paused midway through forcing one of the boards back into place and stared at him, her brain catching up with her ears. What was bothering him so badly yet he hadn't brought it up until now? Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of splintering wood and she looked down to see she'd been pressing on the board hard enough to snap it in half.

"Consarnit."

"Oh, err, s-sorry..." Windhover stepped back slightly, suddenly looking rather flighty.

"Nah, it's fine. Was probably gonna need replacing soon enough," Applejack shook her head slightly and looked down at her leg, slowly tensing the muscle before she picked up the broken wood. "Ah needed to take a break to warm up soon too. We can talk inside."

After a quick detour to dispose of the board, Applejack and Windhover made their way back up to the farmhouse. Applejack quickly set about getting a fire going while Windhover made the two of them drinks. Within minutes the atmosphere was warm and relaxed again as the two of them settled down at the kitchen table with a mug of hot cider each. Windhover was still fidgety though and he was struggling to maintain eye contact. She simply let him work through whatever internal struggle he was dealing and sat back, trusting he'd tell her when he was ready.

"Applejack..." He eventually said, slowly looking up at her. "I've, been lying to you. A lot...Like, ever since we first met."

"...Say what?"

Applejack could only stare at him in disbelief. Maybe it was how quiet he was, maybe it had been down to everything that had been going on but she'd never suspected anything from him.

"No, I mean...Ever since we started sending each other letters. Windhover was just a quill name I was using for that advert. My normal name is a bit too recognisable. I kind of just kept rolling with it when we planned to meet and I wanted to tell you but...Yeah."

"Okay," She nodded and took a sip of her cider. It stung a little that he had been hiding this from her and that she hadn't picked up on it. She wasn't one to judge though, instead preferring to understand the why. "So, what is your real name?"

Instead of answering directly, 'Windhover' got up and took his jacket off, followed by his goggles and beanie. It was the first time Applejack had seen him without any of his clothes on and while the mane and eyes were familiar, her eyes immediately went to check his cutie mark for the first time. A bass clef. He placed his things on the back of his chair and turned to let her take in the sight of him as he was for the first time. His physique was rather standard for a pegasus stallion, but there was a tone to his looks, hints of handsomeness. It wasn't anything like Bounty had, but Applejack felt a flicker in her heart at the sight.

"Huh...Still doesn't explain who you are though." She commented.

"What? I...Right, you're not into rock music."

"Nah. That's more of Little Hayseed's thing."

"That would explain a lot. Anyway, my actual name is Deep Note."

Applejack paused midway through raising her mug. That name sounded somewhat familiar yet she couldn't place it. It sounded like somepony Rainbow Dash would mention when she was rattling off her favourite musicians.

"Alright. So from the sounds of it, yer a pretty big name in what ya do. Which is?"

"Well, I didn't lie about that detail in our letters," Deep Note said as he sat back down. A little confidence was returning to his voice. "I am a guitarist, you saw just how good I was at the party. It's more than a hobby though, I play in a band. Has Hayseed ever mentioned a group called Seviors?"

Applejack rubbed her chin and nodded, smiling a little as she saw him perk up at that.

"A few times. Pretty successful if ah remember right."

"Good enough to be Manehatten regulars," Deep replied, unable to hide the pride. "And definitely enough that I'd be swarmed if I'd used my name for my quill pal ad, or for being seen in Ponyville."

"Well, ah can understand the use of your Windhover identity fer that..." Applejack said, watching as Deep took an extra long drink of his cider. "But ah can tell that's not the whole story, is it?"

"You always did come across as perceptive," He answered as he put his mug down. He was avoiding eye contact even more and his voice had grown quieter. They were getting closer to the heart of the matter. After a minute he looked back up at her with a look that showed he had decided to bite the bullet and say it. "One of my letters to you, I sent on August twenty-eigth. When did you receive it?"

"That would be..." Applejack raked her brains for which letter that would likely be among the ones still pinned up. "The one ah got on September second."

"Okay...I'm not brave enough to say it directly so...Was there anything in that letter that stood out?"

Applejack thought over what she remembered from the letter or how it might be relevant to their current situation. Nothing she remembered really stood out, it was just him answering questions she had asked in her previous letter...And asking one of his own.

'-if I started getting any funny ideas about you and me. Not that I have, I mean you can't fall in love with a pony through letters right?'

"Deep Note...Are ya saying...?" She asked gently. His blush told him all she needed to know.

"I didn't mean for it to happen like this," Deep exclaimed in a half-panic. "The more letters we sent each other, the more I got to see the mare behind the hero reputation. I saw a mare like no other, one that's committed, clever, brave, but sensitive, lonely and...If you'll permit me to say so, lacking in body image."

Applejack looked down and slowly rubbed her leg, feeling the muscles there. It seemed she wasn't the only perceptive one.

"Nopony says anything, but I know it puts ponies off..." She said quietly.

She didn't bring it up if she could help it, considering both her physique and the results of it were an unavoidable side effect of her lifestyle. But she could tell most stallions were intimidated by the thought of getting close to a mare that could bench press them with ease. In the past she'd been too busy to notice, but with her new outlook on the matter after her time in the Crystal Empire, that fact stung deep. More than deep, she could feel it cutting into a gap she'd never realised had been there.

"Then they're fools."

Applejack's eyes blinked back into focus as she felt a hoof against hers and she looked up to see Deep Note by her side, looking at her with a conviction she'd never seen in him before.

"I'd have said this sooner if I'd known just how badly you felt about it but...I for one think you're beautiful as you are and there's nothing wrong with it. Your hero's reputation is well earned and yet you haven't changed as a pony, not if everything you told me about life before that is anything to go by. As for your strength, it's just part of who you are and as I've good as admitted...I love who you are."

As she looked up into those calm blue eyes of his, Applejack felt herself sniff slightly. His words had pierced straight to her core and were burning away at the fears she had held there for too long. That cold grip around her heart was fading like it had at Bounty's touch, but this was for more than a fleeting moment. With his touch, his gaze, his quiet expression that showed he meant every word, she felt free of her concerns. She felt herself again.

"Ah...Didn't realise how much I needed t'hear that. Thank you, hun." Applejack said quietly, smiling softly up at Deep.

"You're welcome. So, does that count as an apology for lying to you all this time too?" The pegasus said in return, smiling nervously.

"No, I'm still mighty ticked off about that."

Deep backed up slightly until he saw her crack a grin at his response. Then she stood up and hugged him. Neither of them needed words to convey just what they needed to say right now. They just needed each other's company.

Fond Farewells

After an all too brief moment, Applejack pulled herself away from Deep Note and took a breath. That had escalated quicker than she could have anticipated and she suddenly had her main issue thrust into her face so hard that it would have broken her muzzle if it wasn't metaphorical. Did she mean to have taken things as far as she had just then? If yes, then the implication was that she had answered her question on who she cared for more. If not, then she had probably taken a few hoofsteps backward and made things incredibly awkward. If she was lucky. Speculating wouldn't do much good though, she needed to figure out the answer.

"Well, ah, g-glad that went well, and that it helped," Deep said, blushing a little more. "Sorry if I came on a little strong."

"No worries. Just a little sudden is all," Applejack replied as she sat back down. "An' I'm mighty flattered that ya feel this way about me."

"But, you don't exactly feel the same way?" Deep's ears folded back and he took a nervous breath.

She realised that she had put herself on the spot. She had to give an answer now to avoid making things worse. Romance was one of the most fragile topics imaginable and honesty might hurt him a lot. Then again, the sting of the truth would probably hurt a lot less then having to outright reject him when she'd made him think he had a chance down the line.

"Ah'm not sure. I mean you're a swell guy, but I've never really given much thought toward finding a partner until recently. Ah just need to get my thoughts in order before I say yes or no."

"...Of course. That's fair. I did just dump all this on you to get it off my chest while I could." Deep said as he stepped round to the other side of the table again and finished his drink.

"Come on now, it's not like ah'm saying no outright. I just need to figure out what I want to do. An' we're still gonna have our letters when you're not rocking out in Manehatten."

"Heh, true..." He chuckled softly as he started putting his things back on. "If nothing else, I really appreciate you letting me get all this out while I could. For now though, I have a few things to finish up before I have to head home. Thank you for everything these past few weeks, Applejack."

"Yer welcome, an' thank you for giving me the chance to meet such a good friend at last," Applejack replied as he got his jacket, goggles and beanie back on. "Say, what times' yer train? I'd like to come see you off."

"Oh, err, four forty." Deep said, though he sounded distracted as he made his goodbyes and left.

Applejack sighed softly to herself and took her mug of cider, staring into what was left of the drink. She knew she could have handled that a lot better, but the pressure of the moment had thrown her off. Her eyes glanced up at the clock and she paused on seeing it was three thirty-five already. There was still work to finish around the farm and though she was sure Big Mac wouldn't mind her taking off for a little while, she wasn't going to leave her tasks undone. She finished the cider and shook herself in preparation for heading back into the cold. Normally the weight of her muscles shifting with her body as she did so felt strange to her, but now, after talking to Deep Note, it didn't bother her quite so much.

She smiled a little more at that realisation before heading back outside to finish up with that fence.

By the time Applejack had finished up with her tasks and made her way into Ponyville, it was half past four and the sun was starting to finish its decent below the horizon. The cold wasn't too bad in town as the weather team had set up a cloud cover to trap what heat there was and a lot of houses had set up candle lanterns outside. The atmosphere was surprisingly upbeat as well. Plenty of ponies were out and about this evening and a good number of them gave greetings to Applejack as she passed them. Returning their greetings in kind was almost enough to distract her from the cold tension. Or it would, if it was there. She was only noticing it now but ever since Deep Note had shown up earlier, that feeling had dissipated completely and not returned.

It almost felt strange, to be able to walk around with other ponies, just being another figure about town without any overbearing concerns, just like the old days when she had been a young adult and a straightforward life. No saving the world every few months, no constantly having to juggle far reaching reputations, no concerns for if her future would be faced alone. The respite was brief but very welcome. Then she reached the train station and she had to face one of those concerns again.

Her focus was momentarily taken by the sight of Little Hayseed heading out of the station and trotting past her, a happy skip in her walk and a piece of paper clutched in her mouth. Applejack glanced back at her but didn't get any explanation. She put the thought aside and headed into the station. A small part of her was amazed that Ponyville managed with only two train platforms despite being a central position in Equestria. The rail network was generally efficient enough that they could get away with it though. She headed through the main building and out to the southbound platform, stopping as she saw a small wall of waiting ponies on the opposite platform. That made sense, the next train in was the first to Canterlot in days so ponies would be grasping for the chance to travel north again.

Fewer ponies were waiting on her side of the platform, Deep Note among them in his Windhover disguise. Applejack made her way over, figuring that trying to be inconspicuous would be pointless.

"You came." Deep said, before pausing and chuckling at how silly it was to question her say-so.

"Said ah would." Applejack said simply. She would have said more but as Deep adjusted his goggles, she got a glimpse of his eyes behind them. They looked red and damp.

The sight stung at her heart again, though she didn't change on the outside.

Neither of them said much in the minutes afterward. Their talk in the farmhouse had made things clear, for now they could simply enjoy each other's presence. After a few minutes the tell-tale whistle of an incoming train drew their attention, both knowing it was his.

"It's your turn to write a letter." Deep said as he turned to Applejack, though he was smiling again as he said it.

"Soon as ah get home," She replied. "It's gonna be weird not seeing you around."

"Not as weird as going back to the rocker life after my time here. I can see why ponies like it here so much," Deep shrugged slightly and raised a hoof. "Thank you for everything, Applejack."

"An' thank you, Windhover." She winked as she said it, noticing he blushed slightly and flashed an appreciative smile at her words.

As the train finished pulling into the station, they shared one last hug before Deep reluctantly let it go and went to get on board. As she watched him finding a seat in the carriage in front of her, Applejack felt something different. Longing, like she didn't want him to leave. Still, right now all she could do was watch him take a seat nearby and wave to her as the train began to pull off. She smiled and waved back, making a mental note to ask if he would like to meet up again someday. She kept waving until the train was out of sight before sighing to herself. From the looks of things on the opposite platform the Canterlot train would be there any minute and decided to hang on and see if she could spot Bounty among the crowd.

Part of her was glad she wasn't in there. Crowds like this always made her nervous, possibly due to her time in Manehatten as a filly. Just the thought made her shiver slightly. The thought passed just as quickly as it came when she spotted a familiar green mane a short way down the platform. Bounty didn't look like he'd seen her and was adjusting his saddlebags at the moment. Even if she wasn't sure about how she felt anymore, Applejack couldn't help but smile at the sight of him. He looked so...Relaxed, happy again.

A minute later her view was blocked by the northbound train's arrival. She waited for a minute to see if she could spot him once he was on board, considering it only fair to see him off as well. It was a long shot but one she was willing to take. A quick scan of the carriage windows seemed to come up blank, but on a second check she spotted him by one of the windows on her side, watching her in surprise. She relaxed and gave him a friendly wave, one that was met with a knowing smile and wave back. It still sent a small spark through her, though one not as strong as the ones she used to felt.

It still meant she had to think about what she wanted to do next though.

Applejack stayed waving until Bounty's train had left, leaving her alone on the platform. She normally didn't make the comparison, but it matched how she felt. Isolated, cold, wishing she had either of them for company. Still, she still had friends here and aside from the fact Arboreal was finishing up at the farm alone, she'd probably like to hear about what was going on. With that settled she turned and started to head for home.

"So, Bounty's gone for a while?"

Though she just nodded, Applejack couldn't help but noticed Arboreal's voice sounded cheerier than usual as she closed up the barn and turned back to face her.

"Sorry if I'm not torn up over that," She added, flicking her braid onto her back. "Though if he's in Canterlot, I can focus on getting things done again."

"Huh, half expected that you'd be taking off after what happened between you two."

"What can I say?" She relaxed slightly and allowed herself to smile a little as she looked over what little of the farm she could see in the dark. "This place has it's charms. Speaking of which..."

Arboreal nodded toward the pathway back to the entry gates, Applejack turning to see Little Hayseed running up to the two of them, looking just as starstruck as she had earlier.

"AJ! Arby! You are not gonna believe this!" Hayseed managed to say, speaking quickly despite sounding out of breath. "I actually managed to get the autograph of none other than Deep Note today! You know how hard that is to get?"

"Wait, he was in town?" Arboreal asked, while Applejack simply gave a knowing smile.

"Of course, he's been in town for weeks. You didn't know? He's been standing next to you half the time," Hayseed chuckled as she saw the dawning recognition on her friend's face. "I figured we could go and do a little celebrating, Mac's in and soon as I find Switcher we can-"

"Switcher?" Applejack asked.

"Bounty. The nickname just came to me, like a light switch. So you girls in?"

"Why not, beats trying not to be cold on my own." Arboreal shrugged and started on the path back toward Ponyville.

"Ya know what?" Applejack shook her leg slightly to get some tension out of it. That was the only tension in her at the moment, a detail she was glad to feel. After dealing with her emerging feelings so poorly, a night with her friends just being silly and having fun was just what she needed to properly unwind.

"Yeah, that sounds good."

Author's Note

If you’re reading this, thank you for sticking it out to the end, and sorry for putting you through this whole thing. I’m currently taking a hiatus of sorts to gather my thoughts and recover motivation, so whenever my next fic comes out, I promise it’ll be better than this.

Thank you for your time and I hope you don’t look too harshly on my other works if this was your first time viewing my work!