All the Walls of Dreaming

by OfTheIronwilled

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Sad, Main 6, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Celestia
Length: 3605

Twilight wakes up from a nice dream. It will haunt her more than any nightmare ever could.

Twilight wakes up from a nice dream. It will haunt her more than any nightmare ever could.

Published 2017-05-29 04:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-06-01 02:06:32 UTC

They Were Torn Wide Open

Twilight's eyes flew open.

She shook away the blur in her eyes, the ache in her head, and peeled herself up from the cold stone underneath her. As she blinked rapidly around, she heard the sparks of magic crackling a few feet away and felt a dark presence towering over her. Her eyes traveled up the gray floor, up decrepit pillars, across shadowed windows, and finally up to a dais where--

Nightmare Moon. Nightmare Moon stood, five orbs crackling beneath her hooves. The Nightmare stared down at them with fiery eyes, her teeth clenched.

"No," she screamed. "No!"

But then Twilight blinked, and the spark of magic died. All of the stone elements went cold and dead, and Nightmare Moon knelt to examine them with a sharp, cruel smirk that crawled up her face with a laugh. With a powerful swing upwards, she reeled back and smashed her hooves to the dais below her with a cracking wave of magic. The elements shattered like glass, their shards exploding into the air and scattering onto the ground in a dry puddle of rock.

What was happening?

Twilight hobbled up onto her hooves, then looked around. She didn't have her wings anymore. This was the old castle. Nightmare Moon was back! Wasn't this exactly what happened when--

"You little foal! Thinking you could defeat me! Now you will never see your princess... or your sun. The night will last forever!"

A cloud of magic swirled up from Nightmare Moon's mane, filling the air with a spiral of stars and maniacal laughter and then--

"Twilight!"

-- A spark.

Twilight gasped at the heat that sparked inside of herself, as powerful and heavy and beautiful as she remembered it. It nearly knocked her off her hooves, it was so familiar. As she saw her friends' shadows curl around the stairwell, she felt how glad and happy she was to see them again, alive and well. Deep inside her chest, the Element of Magic took hold of her. She could feel it just outside of her reach, waiting for her friends to appear and fight by her side.

It was just like before. This was exactly how it had happened that fateful day of the Summer Sun Celebration... she just didn't understand. It all felt so real. Her hooves scratched at the hard stone, a cold wind whistled around them through the shattered windows, Nightmare Moon's laugh barreled against her eardrums. But surely it was just a dream. She couldn't be back here. Unless...

Twilight tried to remember what happened last night, but her memory from yesterday was faded into barely nothing. Had she been sent back in time? Did she drink another of Zecora's potions?

Then her wonderful friends made it up the stairs, and their friendship sang in her chest, and Nightmare Moon stopped laughing. And suddenly, right now, it didn't matter anymore. Her greatest friends were beside her, and for whatever reason Nightmare Moon once again needed to be stopped in the name of Equestria.

Twilight Sparkle smiled. She knew how this part would end. "You think you can destroy the Elements of Harmony just like that? Well you're wrong..."

There was a flash of light, and Twilight's friends talked about their new necklaces, and Celestia returned in a flare of heat, just like it should be. Twilight said and did everything as well as she could remember, careful not to say too much. After all, she wasn't sure if she could accidentally change the course of destiny right now... and it was nice to see it all happen again. To relive the moment that changed her life, that gave her the most precious gift imaginable... It was amazing.

So she trotted forward to embrace her mentor, and listened to her speech about the true friendship now inside her heart. She looked at her friends, bright and colorful against the cold gray of the castle, then followed their gaze to the other side of the room. The husk, the shell of Nightmare Moon was shattered across the floor, broken and smoking. Out of its ashes Princess Luna, so much tinier than Twilight was used to, lay huddled on the floor. The Princess opened her eyes, gasped, and looked over at Celestia as she walked towards her, eyes stern but loving and her wings held out wide. She leaned down to Luna, revealed that Luna was her sister, and then asked her gently if she would accept her friendship.

But then Luna didn't run to hug Celestia.

She ran to Twilight instead.

Twilight gasped as Princess Luna, small and fragile, hugged her tight. She felt her tears soak into her coat, her weak body shiver against Twilight's front. Around them, the world had practically stopped. Twilight's friends stared at her in disbelief. Pinkie Pie gasped on the floor. Celestia stared numbly at her with -- Twilight choked back a strangled gasp -- the most crushing expression of pain Twilight had ever seen. Her eyes were wide. Fat tears pooled down her face. Twilight didn't know who those tears were directed at.

Twilight backed away, her heart pounding in her ears. This wasn't right. Something had gone wrong.

"I'm so sorry!" Luna cried. She looked at Twilight with wavering eyes. Shameful eyes.

This didn't make any sense. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. She was sure she had kept everything the same, so why did this change? Had she done something wrong, or was this just a nightmare?

Luna raised a shaking hoof to her muzzle and sobbed into it. Her eyes never left Twilight. Twilight felt her stomach drop out beneath her, and the world fell from her hooves.

"I didn't--" Luna choked. "It was Nightmare Moon... she... she knew she was going to be defeated. Twilight, please, it wasn't me."

"What are you talking about?"

It wasn't Twilight who said it. Celestia, her face now a stony expressionless mask, stepped forward and glared down at her shivering sister. Luna shrank down into herself, tears streaking down her cheeks. With a cough, she snapped her head back and forth between Celestia and Twilight. Her wide eyes grew wider. Her breath became shallow and harsh.

Luna clenched her eyes, then opened them. Her stare, right into Twilight's face, was shaky.

"It w- was all a dream, Twilight. A spell."

Twilight shook her head. Something inside her went cold, but she wasn't sure why. Obviously this was just some sort of spell that went wrong. Or maybe... maybe history had just taken a small change of course and she needed to focus it back. It did seem like Luna was feeling remorseful about Nightmare Moon with the way she was apologizing.

"Princess Luna, what do you mean? We know you had no control over yourself as Nightmare Moon, but the Elements have freed you now. You're--"

"No," Luna whimpered. "That's not what we -- what I mean, Twilight. The dream I gave you..."

Nearby, Rainbow Dash fluttered her wings with an aggressive snort and stalked forward. "What are you talking about? Did you do something to Twilight?"

As the others started a muted chatter, Princess Celestia held out a wing to silence them. She nodded gently to Luna, who gazed morosely up at her. "Go on, sister. Explain yourself."

Luna sighed. "Twilight. Tell them what you remember. About everything past this moment."

Twilight stepped back again, her tail flicking. How could Luna possibly know what was happening, unless she was a part of it? Could she possibly be visiting her in a nightmare?

"I," she started. "Luna, what is this? Am I sleeping right now?"

Luna shook her head, while all the other ponies cocked their heads in a confused silence.

"No, Twilight. Please, explain it to them."

For a few more moments, Twilight was skeptical. She hesitantly glanced back and forth from her friends and the pony sitting in front of her. This still didn't feel right... but perhaps this was the right thing to do. If Twilight was under some sort of spell right now, or had passed into one of the alternate Equestria's she saw during her fight with Starlight, then she would need all the help she could get to return to normal. If not, and this was a dream, it might not end until some sort of lesson had been learned or a fear had been laid to rest. She was nervous about possibly altering or hurting her friends... but what choice did she have?

Twilight sighed, something hard and heavy through her nose. She then looked at her friends and mentor. "I know what she's talking about," she said. She waited until Celestia raised an eyebrow. "Princess... I've already experienced all of this before."

There were a few confused mumbles from her friends.

"I mean," she continued. She pawed at the dirt. "I believe that right now, I've gone back in time. I've already freed Luna from Nightmare Moon, and gone to live a life in Ponyville with my six great friends. It's been years from this moment... but now I'm back here again. Luna, what is happening? Why am I here? You seem to know more about this than I do, so tell me, am I under a spell right now? I don't remember much from yesterday, and--"

Luna stopped her with a whine. Princess Luna shook her head, and buried her face into her hooves before slowly pulling it back up again.

"No, Twilight. That's what we were trying to tell you. You were under a spell, cast by us--me-- by Nightmare Moon. You are not any longer."

Twilight's head reeled. Her heart felt like it stopped. Maybe it did. The implications of what Luna just said...

The castle fell silent. There was nothing but the cool whisper of the breeze through the windows, or the occasional clack of a hoof shifting. The quiet stretched, filled with the sound of Twilight's pulse in her ears, until Celestia gasped. It was a small one, but... but Twilight heard it. She looked up at Celestia in time to see her face turn concerned. She walked forward, laid a soft wing across Twilight's withers...

Twilight shook her head and backed away from Celestia's touch. Surely this was just a misunderstanding.

"I still don't understand," she wavered.

Luna looked... pained. "Nightmare Moon thought she would perish when you attempted your 'spark'," she muttered. "So when you used your magic on what we believed to be the Elements... with Nightmare Moon so near to them, she was able to hit you with a spell. That way, even if we failed, we might hurt you."

Twilight stomped her hoof. The impact rattled up her leg, hurt her teeth. Luna was just confused. Obviously a time-travel spell had gone wrong. All Twilight had to do was reverse the effects.

Luna's mouth was still open, planning on saying more, when Twilight flared her horn with a determined growl. She set her mind to the spell she had used when fighting against Starlight Glimmer, focused on how the spell was formed, and trained all of her magic up to her spiraled horn. She cast the spell--

-- and with a tiny hiss, it failed.

Her horn went cold. It was almost as if... as if those matrices didn't fit together right. As if she hadn't cast it correctly, or... or it wasn't a real spell...

Twilight's heart dropped. She felt bitterly cold, like somepony had overturned a bucket of ice water onto her spine. Her hooves collapsed under their own weight, and Twilight fell to the stone. Everypony watched her silently as she stared unblinking at the floor. After a while, Luna stood and bowed her head.

"Twilight Sparkle," she said. "All of those years. The triumphs you have experienced, the friendships you have known... it was all a dream. A dream devised by us, as a cruel way of getting revenge on the Element of Magic. All that you know beyond this day, it... we..."

Luna broke down into tears. Her crying echoed dully off the castle walls. "I am so sorry."

This time, when Celestia walked forward and laid her wings across her back, Twilight didn't push her away. She just looked up at Celestia, her eyes feeling hollow and achy, and she watched her mentor's face as it shifted into shock, confusion, anger, sadness, and then into her usual motherly stare.

"That... that can't be right. Can it, Celestia?"

Celestia said nothing.

Twilight bit back a sob.

No. It couldn't be right. That was just ridiculous. If that were true, then that would mean...

Twilight looked over at the five ponies standing in the center of the castle. Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Applejack all watched her intently, their faces pulled up with concern. She remembered Rainbow Dash's flight show, Pinkie Pie's surprise birthday party, Rarity's boutique in Canterlot, Applejack's family reunion, Fluttershy's attempt to help on Tornado Day. All of these memories and more were so very dear to her, so happy and bright and full of love, and it was these interactions with her friends that made them her friends in the first place. It was what made them familiar to her, what made them who they were. It was those memories that freed her from Discord's magic. It was her experiences with them that had made her a better pony, had crafted her into the Princess of Friendship. If... If none of it ever really happened...

Tears dripped down her face. She leaned into Celestia's touch. The silence rang in her ears.

Suddenly, she didn't know them or herself at all anymore.

Author's Note

I would have made this one better, but... honestly, lately I've felt zero confidence in my writing. I've barely written anything in months, and I've finished even less. So I figure writing this real quick and not stressing about how much it does/doesn't suck is better than not writing anything at all.

[Bonus Content]

Author's Note

Originally, this oneshot was going to be a bit longer. After the reveal, Twilight was going to struggle with this new truth until Spike, Luna and Celestia convinced her to give friendship another shot. However, while I was in the middle of writing this I just... didn't like where it was going? So I decided to cut it back and just end it at Princess Luna's confession, which I felt was a pretty good open ending. What follows is the unfinished bits I had written before deciding to do that. If you liked the story where it was then I encourage you to leave it there and ignore this, but it's here for anybody who wants a little bit extra.

[Bonus Content]

They wanted to throw her and her friends a parade for saving Equestria, as they had the first time. Twilight didn't go.

She had tried to disprove it. Several times over she had tried different spells, but all of the ones she had supposedly learned during her time in Ponyville just... didn't work. Other spells, such as teleportation, did. She could light up her horn, teleport, use telekinesis, do other little spells she had learned in Celestia's school... but not anything else. She couldn't even -- she realized with a feeling of loss and emptiness on her back -- fly anymore.

Now, she was back at her library. Her old library. Golden Oaks, the great tree, stood as huge and beautiful as she remembered it before Tirek.

With hitched breath, Twilight nudged through the door-- and immediately she was hit by the smell. It was that smell, of books and wood, of the summer breeze wafting in through the window Spike left open, of old yellowed pages and the gentle scent of her bed linens.The shelves were lined so neatly, that small wooden statuette still stood dutifully in the corner, her loft was still opened up to look at the sky, and her telescope was perched to get the best view.

It was all too much. Twilight bowled over, and fell exhausted to the warm wood. The texture, the colors, the everything. It was all...

"Twilight!"

Twilight's ears perked, but she just... she just couldn't find it in herself to return Spike's hug.

"Twilight, I heard about how you guys beat Nightmare Moon, that's-- Twilight? Hey, Twilight, what's wrong? Did something happen to you?!"

After all, Spike was always there with her, during all of those years. What all had she imagined about him? How much had she changed him in her head? Could she have thought up so many lies about him that she wouldn't even remember Spike anymore either? And if she hadn't... what would Spike think of her now? Now, that she acted so much different from the filly he had grown up and traveled to Ponyville with? Would he like the new her at all?

Her eyes stung. She curled up into a ball on the floor, and tearfully looked up at Spike as he fretted over her.

"Oh, Spike," she whispered. Her voice was rocky. "I don't know what to think anymore."

And then she told him everything.

"Uh, Twilight?" Spike called. "Celestia sent you another letter."

"Thank you, Spike."

She threw it onto the pile, then turned back to the book held shakily in her grip. Daring Do seemed to be how she remembered, but now she was more than doubtful that Rainbow Dash would share her love for them. For that matter, A.K. Yearling was more than likely just another author.

With a sigh, Twilight closed the book and shelved it. She curled downwards, into herself, and tucked her chin to her chest with a frown that sat dead and still on her face. She should really read one of the letters, as they had accumulated and were spilling out over her work desk, but she just wasn't sure if she was ready yet. Surely, princess Celestia wanted to tell her to embrace friendship again, to give it all a chance...

But how could she?

Twilight, shaking and numb, buried her face in her hooves. Nearly everything she had ever known about her friends was nothing but a convoluted lie. She had made it all up herself. What if Rainbow Dash never really got into the Wonderbolt's Academy, or Fluttershy wasn't really bad with children like she thought, and Pinkie Pie wasn't scared of her friends not liking her, or Applejack's relationship with Apple Bloom was't like she thought it would be, or Rarity didn't even like Sapphire Shores, or-- or any of it?! Or- Or what if it was the same? What if everything was exactly the same, and she had to go on with her life pretending that she didn't know exactly what was going to happen before it did? But no- no that couldn't happen, because it changed already. Already, nothing made sense.

A breeze rippled through the window and toyed at her coat and mane. When she shifted on the floor, she didn't feel crystal, but the grainy scratch of wood. Below her, down in the main library, only a single set of footsteps echoed off the walls, reverberated dully through the creaky home. Starlight wasn't here. She never existed. Owlowiscious wasn't here, and neither was his perch. He never existed either.

Gilda, Trixie, Braeburn, Maud, Discord... none of them.

Twilight shrank in on herself.

Oh Celestia, what could she do? How could she do it all again?

Twilight waved. Around her, ponies shouted and chanted, their whistles filling the air. Her regalia shimmered bright and gold in the sunlight, the flowers around her wafted sweet scents, and the friends behind her shifted. She could hear every one of them as they walked forward, their hooves clacking by the railing.

She'd never been happier. Her new wings were fluffed up. In her chest, in her eyes, in her smile, she felt the traces of all of her friendships, of all the love and support that had gotten her to this point. She could feel the spark again, so very nostalgic in her chest, and despite the rush of nerves, she felt warm.

Twilight smiled out into the crowd until Celestia stepped forward, leaning down to her level. She smiled. Behind them, Princess Luna did the same.

"Say something, Princess," Celestia said.

Twilight started. Oh. Oh! Yes, it was a coronation. She had a speech!

She walked forward to the edge of the balcony, her head held high over all of her little ponies. One last time, she breathed deep through her nose. She opened her mouth, and--

Twilight couldn't remember the rest. She forgotten the rest of her speech! She couldn't remember the rest of that day at all!

Twilight shifted in bed. She picked herself up from a knot of blankets, and trailed the pattern on her ceiling up and down in the dark. She wrung her hooves together in the sheets, fidgeted, and laid back down with a tiny sigh. Panic bubbled in her chest, then confusion, then--

-- Then it made sense. After all, all of that was just a dream. Dreams usually faded whenever you woke up.

Something inside her was relieved at that. If the memories of her dream disappeared, then she wouldn't have to worry about herself and her friends living up to expectations anymore. She could just accept them as they were, and live her life as normal.

Something else inside of her didn't want to let those memories go.

Twilight pulled the covers up over her head.