In Which Applebloom Learns About Compromise
Applebloom had traveled far and wide to find the Caves of Cutiezalaphan. She soldiered on through harsh weather and unforgiving terrain, but she had finally made it.
She went inside the caves to find the wisemare who knew the special talent of everypony in the world, even the talents of the ponies who hadn't gotten their cutie marks! The caves were decorated in gold and diamond jewlery, and the floor was tiled. The light from the torches made the entire cave glisten.
After gawking for a few minutes, Applebloom saw the wisemare laying down on a pillow on top of a staircase. She had a gold plate where her cutie mark would be, and she looked even older than Granny Smith. Applebloom knew what she had to do.
"Oh, Wisemare of the Caves of Cutiezalaphan! My name is Applebloom! I have traveled mighty far to seek your advice in order to discover my special talent, and gain my cutie mark!" Applebloom stated confidently.
"Yes, I see," Said the wisemare in a gravelly, ancient-sounding voice. "Come here, young Applebloom, and I shall tell you that of which you yearn to hear."
Applebloom trotted up the staircase and to the wisemare. Applebloom adopted a cartoonishly eager face as she leaned in close to hear what the wisemare had to say.
"Bark! Sniff sniff sniff. Hrmmm, bark!"
"Hmm, bark in the sense of— wait, what?!"
"Hey, Applebloom, wake up 'n shake up! Ah need your help with something!"
Applebloom woke up to find Winona, apparently very excited to see a sleeping filly.
"Eww, dog breath!" said Applebloom, shooing the dog off of her. She turned to see her sister, grinning. "What you want? Makin' shakin' bacon'?" slurred Applebloom.
"C'mon, sleepyhead, can you help your big sister out with her job?" said Applejack.
Applebloom sighed and looked up. "This means that I'm gonna be forced into some kinda wacky situation, right?"
Applejack rolled her eyes. "Well, I won't beat around the bush, so yeah, pretty much. Then again, what else are you gonna do today?"
Applebloom knew her sister was right. School's out, Sweetie Belle's sick with Pickonfernosis, or whatever Rarity said, and who knows what Scootaloo's been up to, seeing as she acted really weird the last time she saw the other Crusaders. And Celestia forbid even considering doing anything with Diamond Tiara. The only other filly that she really knew was Twist, and she was with her aunt today.
"All right, what're we doing? And more importantly, what's in it for me?" Applebloom said, sliding out of bed. She grabbed her bow, which was hanging on the wall next to her, and placed it in her hair. She walked with Applejack to the breakfast table, where Applejack started explaining to Applebloom what was happening as they both sat down.
"Remember when you went nuts trying to hock apples to everypony at the market?" asked AJ, spreading apple butter on two slices of toast. Applebloom remembered, especially when she tried to get four thousand bits out of that one mare.
"Yeah, but didn't that turn out to be bad for business?" asked the filly, taking one of the pieces of toast.
"Well," said Applejack with toast in her mouth, "I've been thinking..."
"You think?" Applebloom said, before starting to giggle. Applejack looked unamused.
"That ain't even a little bit funny," Applejack said.
"Well, you were pretty much asking for it," said Applebloom, eating her toast.
"Anyway, I was thinking that if you tuned down your attitude to something less, uh, crazy, you'd be able to attract more business for the stand. You see, I really need a gimmick to attract customers, since I've recently gotten myself a business rival," Applejack said.
"Oh yeah, I'll show that no-good, rotten pony to mess with us!" said Applebloom, jumping up and down, while growling.
"Hold on there, cowgirl, we gotta be honest with our business!" said Applejack, grabbing her sister up. They both walked out the door to the apple stand, which was parked next to the barn.
"Well, I promise," said Applebloom, "I'll get so many customers, you won't even know what to do with them! Well, actually, you're just gonna sell apples to them, but there's gonna be a whole lotta customers, and..."
Applejack patted Applebloom on her head. "That's the spirit! I knew that I made the right choice having you help me!" Applebloom felt proud. She had never really done good enough at a job for her sister to award her with that much praise. Whatever happened, she had to make her sister proud.
After what felt like forever and a half, the sisters finally made it to the market. It was early, so there were few customers, but little competition as well. A great start to a successful day of apple selling.
"So, you ready to be swimming in bits, sis?" Applebloom asked in a cocky tone.
"Just keep your eye on the ball," said Applejack, "And we will be, Small Fry."
"Hmm," Applebloom said, "Small Fry's a new nickname, y'all come up with that yourself?"
Applebloom started to take apples out of a bag and put them onto the cart. Applejack looked around to see if she could spot any of her regular customers, but instead found something quite unexpected.
"Applejack!" Golden Harvest said, setting up her stand across the way from the Apple Sisters'. "How's that fledgling apple stand of yours? I'm sure you'll eventually catch up to me... when I eat a snail and turn into a flamingo!"
"Oh yeah, Dirt Farmer? Well, I hope you've been practicing standing on one leg, because we ain't gonna be outsold by... what was it you sell again? Turnips?" Applejack replied. Applebloom piped up from her apples and looked towards Golden Harvest.
"Yeah, and I hope you're from Prance!" she added.
Applejack looked back at Applebloom.
"Prance?" she asked.
"Yeah," Applebloom explained, "Ponies from Prance eat snails, right?"
"Hmm, might wanna work on making it clearer, sis," Applejack advised.
"Hey, is that your daughter, Applejack? She seems nice!" Harvest shouted.
"I don't like her at all," Applebloom whispered to her sister.
"Don't worry," Applejack whispered back, "She doesn't really mean all that stuff, it's all part of the show."
Applebloom looked around for an audience. "Show?" she asked.
"Just a friendly competition, but that still don't mean we're gonna lose!"
The Apple sisters bumped their hooves together, and turned towards the carrot stand, which was across the way from theirs. The three ponies met in the middle of the way to make an agreement. "Whoever sells more of their crop wins!" shouted Applebloom.
"We'll keep scorecards and tally each apple or carrot," Harvest said.
"And no exaggerating how many crops we sold!" Applejack said. Applebloom pulled her sister into a huddle facing away from Harvest.
"How do we know she's not gonna cheat?" Applebloom asked.
"Don't worry your little head, I've got a failsafe," Applejack assured, before loudly whistling a brief tune. Within seconds, Pinkie Pie was galloping up to the three ponies.
"How does she do that?!" Applebloom exclaimed.
"No idea, but it's downright normal compared to how she acts sometimes," Applejack said. Pinkie leaned in close to Applejack.
"Only you can whistle my tune that loud! What do you need?"
"Me and Bronze Harvest are having a friendly competition, and we need you as a referee," Applejack said.
"Okay then! Ms. Harvest, would you mind coming here for a sec?" Pinkie replied.
Harvest walked over to Pinkie and the Apple sisters. "Do you, Golden Harvest, Pinkie Promise to be utterly and entirely honest with your results for this competition?"
"I don't need to lie, I know I can win this!"
"And do you two, Applejack and Applebloom, Pinkie Promise to be utterly and entirely honest with your results for this competition?"
"Sure as the sweetest sugar!" Applebloom shouted.
"As long as I'm the most honest and dependable pony around, we'll win this contest without any tricks and fibs!" Applejack said.
"Then by the Pinkieness invested in me, I hereby declare that this competition's results are bound by a Pinkie Promise!"
"Trust me," Applejack said to the others, "If you break one of those, you'll regret it."
Pinkie turned around. "Well, it's been nice, tell me when you're done, gotta go! Bye!" she said, before going on her way. After a few anticlimactic minutes of waiting, the first customer made her way to the stands. It was Derpy Hooves, who was taking her lunch break. She didn't eat carrots as much as she did apples, but she made sure to say hello to Golden Harvest every day. She trotted up to the carrot stand.
"Hello to Golden Harvest!" Derpy said to her friend. Golden Harvest was confused for a moment, before simply chalking up the strange greeting as Derpy being herself, as always.
"Hey there, Derpy! Can you do me a favor?" Harvest replied, slowing down her speech a bit for her friend.
"Ok," said Derpy, starting to look nervous, "But if it means going near chickens and a magic gem, I can't help you. Super duper sorry."
Golden Harvest made a mental note to ask about the story behind that statement later, since she had some applebuckers to outsell.
"No, it's nothing like that! You see, I'm in the middle of a competition with Applejack and her sister—over there across the way—and I need to sell a lot of my carrots," Harvest said.
"Competition? Like a contest? What are you gonna win?" Derpy asked.
"Uh, pride," Harvest said. "Anyhow, can you buy some carrots?"
"Yeah, okay!" Derpy said. She put six bits on the table, took a second to count them twice, and traded them for three carrots before walking off. Golden Harvest was proud of her first sale, her first hit, her first step to outshining the Apple sisters.
Until she saw Derpy buying apples from her business rivals, of course.
"Okay, we have six bits, sis," Applebloom said.
"That makes us tied with her," Applejack said, "So, you'd best get ready to go into overdrive! But remember, keep it under control." Applebloom went off to find a customer, repeating 'under control' to herself the whole way. After a few minutes, she found someone that she tried to sell apples to before, a mare with a cream-colored coat, a pink and dark blue mane, and candies for a cutie mark.
"Hi there!" Applebloom said at a high volume from behind Bon-Bon. Bon-Bon was understandably spooked, and when she saw who was behind her, her mood didn't improve at all. She began to back up. "Sorry, don't go," Applebloom said, "I just wanted to talk to you this time!" Bon-Bon froze for a moment.
"You want to talk to me?"
"Yeah, I'm really sorry about what happened at the stand so long ago, so this time I wanna get a fresh start. Wanna buy some apples?"
Bon-Bon thought for a moment. "Well, I only really came here to pick up some caramel and sugar..." she said. Applebloom decided to pull out her ace in the hole. Her eyes swelled up, her lip formed into a quiver, and she looked up at Bon-Bon. Bon-Bon sighed. "I suppose buying some apples won't do me any harm" she said.
"Thanks so much! By the way, I never got to introduce myself! My name's Applebloom, what's yours?"
"Yes, I remember your name. My name's Bon-Bon, thanks for asking."
Bon-Bon and Applebloom continued to chat until they both made it to the apple stand. By that time, the marketplace was starting to get into swing. Bon-Bon bought a few apples and left. Applebloom, in a stunt to attract customers during the rush, began to jump around and shout.
"Apples! Nice 'n' sweet! Bucked by hoof! Perfect for any cooking project or just for eating straight!"
Applejack even began to holler as well. This attracted more customers than Harvest, who was falling behind. However, Harvest had an idea.
"Selling my carrots half price would surely attract more customers than some song and dance routine!" she said to herself. As quick as a lick, she got out a large piece of cardboard that said "Limited time! Half off!" that she'd been saving for emergencies, and sure as that, customers started flocking in. However, this caught the attention of Applebloom, who got her own idea.
"Half-price is nothing! We can do quarter price and beat her in no time!" Applebloom said. Applejack looked disapproving for a moment.
"Well, we still have to make a profit" she said.
"But, if we have a lower price, then we'll get more customers, and more customers means more money!" Applebloom said.
"Well, that makes sense..." Applejack began to say, before being interrupted by Golden Harvest.
"127 bits here! Looks like the ponies here know enough to go for a smart pony's deal!" Harvest shouted. Applejack adopted a scowl.
"That pony is goin' down," Applejack said.
Applebloom grew a sneer, which her sister copied. The price of apples at the stand was cut down to a fourth of the regular price.
After a few hours, the marketplace closed and Applebloom, Applejack, and Golden Harvest gathered to see the results.
"I don't think I need to say anything at this point," Harvest boasted.
"You sure don't!" said Applejack.
Applebloom pulled out the sales tally for the apple stand, and Harvest pulled out the tally for her stand as well. Applejack whistled a tune, and Pinkie ran up to do her thing. She took both tallies, triple-counted them with a calculator, shook them out, dusted them off, and sniffed them once she was done.
"Well, these tallies are accurate and legitimate, no doubt! So, I'll announce the winners, Applejack and Applebloom!" Pinkie said.
"Wait, you're just going to say it? No dramatic buildup?" Applebloom asked.
"Hey, lighten up, we won!" Applejack said. The fact of victory caught up to Applebloom, and she started celebrating with her sister.
Golden Harvest sighed and looked down. She had barely made a profit, and she lost the competition as well. "Hey!" Pinkie said to Harvest.
"What?" Harvest said solemnly, "Are you gonna tell me not to feel bad, since I'm invited to the victory party?"
"Yeah, pretty much!" said Pinkie.
"Hey, don't get too down, Harvest," Applejack said, "You were doing pretty good! How 'bout I give you a few bits as a consolation prize?"
Applejack pulled out her money box to get a few bits. However, something caught her attention. The box was nowhere near full. It practically had to be full in order to make a profit from a day of apple selling. Sure, it had a reasonable amount of money, but it wasn't near enough to be profitable. Her good mood faded instantly.
"What's going on here?" Applebloom asked as she trotted up to Applejack. Once she saw the bits in the box, her good mood faded too, but much more so. She was supposed to make her sister proud today, but it was her idea to lower the price. She'd failed.
"I'm sorry, sis, I really am," Applebloom said.
"No, it ain't all your fault," Applejack stated, "Let's just go home."
"I think I'd better leave, too," Pinkie said. Harvest just stared at the ground.
The Apple Sisters went back to the farm. Applejack tried to talk out options with Big Mac throughout the night, but nothing seemed to work. Applebloom was put to bed, but there was no way she could sleep. This wouldn't have happened if she didn't sacrifice profits for a competition. She had to do something.
Then it hit her. The two stands were never meant to compete in the first place. Comparing apples and carrots was like comparing, well, apples and oranges. If they wanted to, Applejack and Harvest could even...
"That's it!"
Applebloom covered her mouth, knowing that if she was too loud, she'd wake up the entire farm. She snuck down the hall and out the door, stealthy as an antisocial snake.
After a long while, she got to a house with a carrot garden in the backyard and an orange mailbox with a bundle of carrots painted on it. This was the place, all right. Applebloom swallowed hard as she walked up to the front door and knocked. Applebloom was surprised when she saw Harvest immediately open the door, looking like she hadn't slept in forever. She simply sighed upon seeing Applebloom.
"Just go, kid. I'm not in the mood for whatever taunts you want to sling at me," Harvest said before turning around.
"Wait," Applebloom said, "It ain't like that!"
Harvest turned around. "Well, then what do you want?" she said with a scowl.
"I wanna make up for what happened yesterday, and I have a plan to do it. But I still need your help."
There was a silence. "Fine, I'll bite, what you think we can do?" Harvest said before opening the door for her guest.
"A lot, and here's how..."
The next morning, Applejack woke up to see her dog on her bed, looking quite excited. "Ahh, good dog. Best friend," she said sleepily.
"Applejack! Makin' shakin' bacon!" shouted Applebloom from another room. Since when's Applebloom up before me? Applejack thought. She made her way to the breakfast table, and saw Applebloom with none other than Golden Harvest. Applejack looked down to avoid eye contact with her.
"I'm awful, awful sorry for what happened yesterday. If I'd have known that trying to one up you with my prices would cause us to lose funds, I wouldn't have done it at all"
Golden Harvest walked up to Applejack. "Well, if you feel that bad about it, I'm sorry I initiated the price dropping in the first place."
"Right, well now that you two have gotten your apologies off, I have a plan that'll make us enough to make up for yesterday, and more!" cheered Applebloom.
"She thinks that if we work together to attract customers," Harvest continued, "We'll be able to make a big enough profit to do that. Not exactly professional businesspony material, but I think it's a decent enough idea."
Applejack thought for a minute. "Well, it seems like a solid plan, and it's not like we have any better options. Let's try it!"
"Alright! Time to get this show on the road!" Applebloom said.
And so, the three farmers worked together, the Apple Sisters attracting customers with tricks, stunts, and various routines, while Harvest kept the prices reasonable. At the end of the day, they made a decent profit and split it. The profits each pony got weren't much to write home about, but it was enough anyhow.
As the Apple sisters went home, Applejack stopped and turned towards Applebloom. She pulled her sister close and patted her head.
"You helped out alright, kid. Without you, me and Dirt Farmer back there would probably still be at each other's throats!"
"You really think so, big sis?"
"Ha! Since when do I think?"
Author's Note
were doing this man. were MAKING THIS HAPEN
I bet you all thought this fic was ded! Well, it's not. For now, anyway.
Also, you ever type a word, then run it through a thesaurus to find a fancier-sounding word? I had to do the opposite to accurately write AJ.
In Which Twilight Loses Her Mind Over Trying To Make The Perfect Sandwich
Tale 1: In Which Twilight Loses Her Mind Over Trying To Make The Perfect Sandwich
Twilight Sparkle was walking through the marketplace in Ponyville at around noon, give or take an hour and seventeen minutes, as she usually did on Thursday. However, this particular trip was different, as Twilight was feeling particularly philosophical today as she looked at each stand.
She looked at all the different ponies manning the stands, some familiar to her and some unknown, and couldn't help but imagine why they were manning the stands, how they'd gotten to this point in their lives, what was in store for them in the future, and whether or not the stands would figure into that future. They all must have their own tale.
Twilight then agreed to herself that the thought was something to be saved for another time and place, as there was a specific reason that she was here. She wanted to make, as you likely know if you paid attention to the title instead of making googly eyes at that watermelon or what have you, the perfect sandwich.
You may question Twilight's reasoning for pursuing such a trivial task. You see, the sandwich is simply symbolic of Twilight's final test.
The final test is the entire reason why Twilight was not only an avid study-er, but the reason that she is the straightforward, organized, realistic mare that she is today, by extension. However, one day, Twilight thought about what would happen if she attained a perfect score on said test. Nopony in the history of Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns has ever gained a perfect score on the final test, save for maybe the princess herself. If Twilight were to pass the test with a perfect score, she would be remembered as one of the greatest unicorns who ever lived!
Logically, getting a perfect score would likely mean being perfect, and being perfect started small. Twilight figured if she started by making a perfect sandwich, she could work her way up the ladder of perfection until she was able to get a perfect score.
After about 20 minutes, Twilight managed to get all of the things on her list. Only the freshest lettuce, the best meats, the best cheese, and the freshest bread would suffice for this modestly enormous task. On the way out of the market, however, she saw Applejack and another pony, Golden Harvest if she recalled correctly, shouting at both anypony who would listen as well as each other. Twilight would've stopped and helped out Applejack, but she had a very small window of time that she had planned to break from studying to make lunch.
Spike had looked at the nearest convenient timepiece in the library. Twilight had been gone for about half an hour.
"Okay, seems like the coast is clear. Time to do this thing." Spike said as he crawled into his bed with an excited grin on his face.
He came out with three balls of different colors. After focusing all of his concentration, he started to juggle them. I'm doing it!, he thought.
"Peewee, come here, I'm doing it!". The tiny phoenix stared at his master contently. "And you said I'd never be able to in a million years! Ha!"
The front door began to crack open. Spike had trained himself to recognize that sound and react in seconds. Without hesitation, he stowed the balls in his bed's secret compartment.
"Hi, Twilight!" he said as inconspicuously as possible. There was no reply. Twilight wasn't there. "Dumb wind." Spike said to no one in particular. He began to juggle the balls once more before being startled by the sound of Twilight's voice greeting him with "Wow, good juggling, Spike!"
Spike dropped his balls after hearing that.
"How did you get in here?" he asked. "The door was wide open." Twilight said in a matter-of-fact fashion. "Well, you didn't see me, all right?" Spike said angrily as he put the balls away. Twilight agreed.
Twilight got a glass plate out of her cabinet and placed it on the table. One by one, she got the supplies out of her saddlebag. After doing that, she assembled the sandwich so that no bite would be without it's own flavor.
"Yeah, that should do it. Job well done, Twilight!" she assured herself.
"Nice sandwich. Can I have a bite?" chimed Spike. "Not yet, buddy. This is a special sandwich. I need to have some for myself to see if it's good enough." explained Twilight.
Twilight lifted the sandwich to her mouth, careful as to not shift the contents of the sandwich. When she finally took a bite, she began to chew ever so slowly. This continued on for half a minute, much to the confusion of Spike, until Twilight placed the sandwich down and swallowed the bite she took of it.
"It's..."
"Uh, what?"
"It isn't perfect."
Twilight got another plate, and got another piece of bread out individually. Spike took a bite of the first sandwich.
"What are you talking about? It's great!" he said. Twilight sighed. "Yeah, but a great sandwich isn't perfect, and neither is a great test score! And if it's not perfect, then it'll never become legendary!"
Spike only half understood what Twilight said.
"And sandwiches have what to do with test scores?" he asked. Twilight explained what she meant to the dragon. "Okay, Twilight, I think that's wrong for two reasons. One, it's totally possible to perfect that test without being perfect at anything else. Two, you don't need a perfect test score! When you've saved Equestria multiple times, who needs a perfect score on some test? You're gonna pass with flying colors, and that's good enough for me!"
"Y'know what, Spike? You're right! I'll still be a legend even if I fail that dumb test! Not that I'm not gonna try my best, because that's all I need!" Twilight said confidently. However, at the bottom of her heart, she still had a tiny doubt. Not about the test, but about something else.
Later on that night, Twilight was studying Book 4 Chapter 87 Section 3 in her course: Body Language. She read to herself aloud, to keep any stray noises from distracting her.
"Even if a pony's face is the most important purveyor of body language, the arms and legs are also an effective baloney to cheese..."
"Wait, what?" Twilight said to herself. She read through the sentence she was on again.
"Even if a pony's face is the most important purveyor of salami..."
Twilight rubbed her eyes and looked back at the book. She couldn't be that crazy about just a sandwich! That would be beyond illogical!
"Even if perfect sandwich perfect sandwich finish the sandwich..."
"SPIIIIKE!"
Spike arose from his sleep. He wondered how many times he'd have to be woken up in the middle of his nap before Twilight realized that she could easily bother her other friends, seeing as he was the only one asleep at this time, save for maybe Rainbow Dash.
"WHAT?!" he shouted.
"COME UP HERE! I NEED ASSISTANCE!"
"Non-specific much?" Spike asked himself as he slugged up the stairs. When he saw Twilight, she appeared to be both scared and confused. "Spike," she said, "I'm going nuts over a sandwich."
"Didn't we already talk about this?"
"No, it's the sandwich by itself, not the perfect score. It's crazy, but I can't get my mind off the fact that it's imperfect. I don't get it at all."
"Well, I'm not much of a sandwich expert, so I can't help you there." Spike retorted.
"Well, I need some kind of help. I think I need somepony who's an expert in food and motivation to help..." Then it hit her. "Pinkie!"
"So you woke me up for no reason." Spike said, unamused.
Twilight patted her assistant on the head. "Sorry. you can finish your nap, Spike."
"Ah, I'm already up, might as well practice juggling, seeing as how you already know about it." retorted the dragon.
Twilight made her way to Sugarcube Corner, thinking about how many times in the past that Pinkie Pie has unexpectedly helped her out in the past. Twilight knocked on the door to be greeted by Mrs. Cake.
"Welcome back, Ms. Twilight! How can I help you?" Mrs. Cake asked in her usual friendly tone. "Hi, Mrs. Cake. Do you know where I can find Pinkie?"
Mrs. Cake took off her own head, revealing herself to be a disguised Pinkie.
"Hi Twilight!" Pinkie shouted in her usual friendly tone. Twilight fell over backwards after Pinkie revealed herself. She looked up to see if what she just saw really happened. Yes, Pinkie was in a Mrs. Cake costume.
"If you're wondering why I'm dressed up as Mrs. Cake, her and Mr. Cake are on another business leave." Pinkie cheerily explained, taking off the costume. "That's... immensely creepy." Twilight said. "Anyway, Pinkie, I need your help". "I'm always ready to give it!" Pinkie said back.
Twilight explained her foodstuffs-related issue. Pinkie thought for a minute, as if letting that fact sink in. "Well... if the sandwich bothers you that much, I'll just have to taste it!"
Pinkie brought Twilight to the kitchen, where she assembled all the necessary supplies to make a sandwich. Twilight took out one of each ingredient one at a time and placed them on a plate in order. Each part of the sandwich was perfectly aligned, so that no bite would be without flavor. When the sandwich was finally complete, Pinkie took a bite.
Tears of joy dripped down her cheeks, and she let out a huge smile upon swallowing the bite. Twilight felt her heart soar, and she let out a smile almost as big as Pinkie's.
"How is it?" Twilight asked.
"How is it?" Pinkie parroted, "I can't even answer that question with words! It's like my mouth married the sandwich, and they went to heaven on a honeymoon! It's perfect!"
Twilight felt like a huge load was lifted off her shoulders. She did it! She made the sandwich pefectly! Twilight thanked Pinkie for her help, and went back home. Twilight felt like she could do anything.
Pinkie giggled to herself. In all actuality, Twilight really didn't make a sandwich that was noticeably better than most other sandwiches that Pinkie had tasted before. However, it didn't matter, since Twilight did her best, and was proud of what she did.
