Beetle & Blood

by The Wind King

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Crossover, Princess Luna, Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Comedy, Other, Prince Blueblood
Length: 22298

Death should be the end. Fortunately for some it is not, unfortunately for others they have to live with this.

Inspired by PPG1998's Team VTP - Vehicles Turned Ponies, and WiseFireCracker's Gold and Brimstone: The Ultimate Team of Destiny. Go read them, I'll wait.

Blue Beetle never asked for this. He was a simple car, his owner took care of him and his mechanic made sure he was roadworthy, he was perfectly happy with driving away from monsters, ramming into monsters, and occasionally being driven by monsters. All until some demon decided to play "Will It Smash?" with him and some overly pompous Jaguar and found the answer to be an emphatic yes.

Fortunately for him the powers that be decided to give him a new body, which happens to be just as patchwork as his old body, and a new life in a realm so far disconnected from his old life that every new sensation, experience, or discovery is giving him whiplash.

Now if only he could figure out why everypony keeps on retching at the sight of him, that'd be great.

Conflicting Tags - Adventure (just a little bit)

Edited by -
Moongaze 14
Lord of Dorkness
Fionn
Hatter

Cover art by Tulip

Featured in the Non-Mature list on 5th June, 2017. What am I doing right, and can I teach others how to do it so I can make a bajillion dollars off of teaching people how to get to the featured box?

Published 2017-06-04 11:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-02-25 01:23:09 UTC

Chapter 2 - A Modern Day Frankenreins

It was a rare day in Canterlot.

The sort of day where the very foundations of Equestrian culture rumbled and shifted.

The sort of day where ancient plots either came to fruition, or more likely crumbled to oblivion.

Princess Celestia was having a bad day.

The crying shame was that it had started out so well. Luna’s night court was finally starting to pick up enough traction that more than a wingful of ponies had shown up, and none of them had been the ungrateful and foalish nobles that had decided to try and sneak petitions that Celestia had already denied past the Lunar Alicorn, a fact that had left her sister smiling all the way to her chambers. Then after a pleasant breakfast she had been fortunate enough to run into a school group taking an early tour through the Long Hallways. It was always a delight to lead young foals through the years which had been immortalised in stained glass, sculpture, and paint, adding her own anecdotes to the teacher’s nervous lecture, which had the added benefit of allowing her to avoid Lord’s Court for just another hour.

Unfortunately all such things had to come to an end, and it was with a teary eye and a sorrowful wave she allowed herself to be dragged away to court by Kibitz as the foals either waved her farewell, or blew raspberries at her seneschal.

The day only got worse from there on out.

By the third petitioner it seemed that all the regular suspects that had so plagued Luna came to the shocking realisation that the Celestial Diarchs talked to each other about their work day, and armed with this revelation they had decided on a new tactic to push their pettiest of agendas.

Well new was something of a misnomer, their “newest” tactic was one with which they had practiced since Equestria’s founding.

Going back to testing the Solar Alicorn’s immortality, specifically the part that said she could not die from boredom-induced aneurysms nor frustration-inspired cardiac arrest, as she was forced to listen to petitions from the day before with some insignificant change to their wording so their repetition could be justified in the minds of their makers.

Oh, to return to the halcyon days where these pompous fools had thought to try their stupidity against Luna. Celestia may have lost sleep to her sister’s occasional Royal Canterlot Voice empowered rants, but such things always brought a smile to her face as she settled back into her pillows with the echoes of centuries old curses bouncing around the castle walls as if the thousand years of banishment had never happened.

Sadly it was not to be, even the Solar alicorn’s power had limits, one of which was the ability to traverse the river of time without the risk of reality destroying consequences, otherwise she may have gone back in time several decades and quietly encouraged Duke Schmancy Hat’s mother to have an abortion with her royal blessing.

There were some ponies who were simply blights upon her sanity.

And so, on and on it dragged. The same interminable nobles presenting the same self-serving, short-sighted, or just inane proposals to the point where Celestia had to hold herself from imperceptibly checking the hidden clock to see how long she had left.

It was broken anyway, no matter how she looked at it the minute hand refused to move.

It was only a casual look out of the window overlooking the Cantering plains as she tried to identify an odd shrieking, echo that allowed her to see the looming build up of wild weather over the Everfree. A storm which threatened to creep up the mountainside, washing away bridges, collapsing tunnels, and thusly giving her the perfect excuse to escape this tenth circle of Tartarus.

Now she only had to wait for Obfuscating Legalese to finish his client’s latest petition. A task made all the easier by the plans that were now running through her head as the burgundy unicorn finished his impassioned prattling.

“I am dreadfully sorry my little ponies,” her voice betrayed no impatience as always, any sign of displeasure would allow all of them to descend upon the unlucky herd member like a school of prestige hungry piranhas. “But I am afraid I must end Lord’s Court here. A matter of some urgency has come to my attention and I must make sure that our preparations are all in place.”

Rising from her throne, her oricalcum horseshoes clicked softly against the marble floor as she stretched to her full height, the epitome of grace and regality.

Which is why fate chose that moment to launch a scroll into her face with a burst of green fire.

* * * * *

The chariot had barely touched the ground before Celestia launched herself from it, the still pouring rain hissing and spitting as it boiled in the sudden heat of her frantic aura, leaving the group of royal healers to flounder in the cloud of steam she left in her wake as if they were seafoam scattered behind the prow of a ship.

The few ponies in Ponyville General’s waiting room were utterly unprepared for her entrance and many of them shied away, or dove over friends and family at the thunderous noise of their solar monarch crashing through the frame where the doors had once been. The calamitous noise of flaming hooves stomping upon now shattered and sundered tiles barely fading away before the Royal Canterlot Voice replaced it.

“WHERE IS TWILIGHT SPARKLE?”

A hush fell over the entire room, the royal physicians cringing back from their monarch who stood stunned in front of the nurses station, as a clipboard bounced from her snout.

“This is a hospital, we have patients trying to rest and recover.” A white hoof caught the falling clipboard before the pink maned nurse waved it at Celestia like it was a sword that could slay any threat. “You will be quiet or I will throw you out myself.”

Slowly, ever so slowly, the Solar Alicorn’s head lowered down until she could stare directly into the nurse’s eyes. Her lashing aurora mane hid her expression from the view of the gathered ponies, all of whom tried to cower further away from her as she loomed over Redheart.

“Apologies, my little pony, may you tell me which room Princess Twilight Sparkle is in?” The restraint in Celestia’s voice was almost drowned out by the sudden exhalation that accompanied the question as ponies started moving again now that the solar powered inferno had died down, or at least been restrained enough that the princess was no longer suffering from a literal hot temper. Although nopony dared to bring attention to the embers that were still jumping from her mane and tail.

“Princess Twilight Sparkle is currently in room 311 and her mystery stallion is in room 312,” Redheart answered politely as she stepped out from behind the station, gesturing for the white robed physicians to follow her, the ponies double checking their saddlebags while Celestia took up the rear of the procession. Her calm face betraying none of her confusion at the nurse’s statement as she muttered it back to herself under her breath.

“‘Twilight’s mystery stallion’, what event have you gotten yourself embroiled in today, my student?”

* * * * *

Something was wrong with her bed, the mattress was too hard against her side, the sheets too scratchy against her feathers and fur, and the blanket felt as if it wasn’t there at all leaving her exposed to the cold air of the night.

Twilight Sparkle shifted awkwardly in her now uncomfortable bed, each motion only pushing her further into the waking world. One unlucky shift sent a spring jolting up into the pit of her wing, the stabbing pain causing her entire body to convulse into wakefulness with a shriek, her eyes flying open at the rough poke into such a sensitive spot.

Before her back had even cleared the mattress a pair of hooves grabbed at her withers and forced her back down against the rough bed, her yelp of laughter turning to a scream of fear as she thrashed against whatever was holding her down. Her eyes blurry with sleep and terror.

“Horse apples, she’s convulsing,” she couldn’t make out the words, only that somepony was speaking near her, and the panicked tone of their voice only spurred her to thrash harder, one of her forehooves striking something metallic as she lashed out. “Somepony help me hold her down.”

Another pair of hooves joined the first as Twilight struggled even harder, her rear legs tangling themselves in the thin blanket as she bucked and thrashed against her captors.

Suddenly the hooves were ripped away from her, replaced instead with something that wrapped around her completely filling her eyes with yellow, and her ears with a melodic chiming. Her new restraints lifting her body from the bed before she was surrounded with white, something soft and warm stroking her back.

“Calm, Twilight Sparkle, you are not in any danger here.” Celestia murmured reassuringly into Twilight’s ear as she held her in her hooves, large white wings enveloping the smaller alicorn as she wept into Celestia’s coat.

“P-P-Princess?”

“Yes, Twilight, I’m here, you’re safe,” Celestia kept her voice as low as possible, even as one wing moved slowly up and down Twilight’s back, teasing out clumps of matted fur and smoothing down errant strands of mane and tail.

Gradually the purple alicorn found herself relaxing under Celestia’s ministrations, her ragged breathing evening out with each wing stroke while Twilight attempted to burrow further into the white alicorn’s coat.

“Princess, where I am?” Her question was muffled by the layer of snot encrusted white fur

“We’re in the Ponyville medical centre, my student,” white wings unravelled, before Celestia’s golden magic gently placed Twilight back into the medical bed, leaving her propped up against the headboard. “You were struck by a bolt of wild lightning. Your friends Applejack and Rainbow Dash found you passed out on the fringes of the Everfree, alongside an unknown stall-”

“Please don’t tell me it’s here.” All of the disappeared tension returned as she yanked the blankets over her barrel as if she was a foal trying to hide from the Olden Mare. Her purple aura sputtering weakly as she attempted to force energy through her burned horn, before golden light wrapped around the appendage, cutting off her magic.

“You are in no danger here, Twilight Sparkle.” Once again Celestia’s wing set to gently stroking her students back as the purple alicorn struggled to breath through her panic. Celestia’s other wing motioned for the clustered physicians to back away, the ponies disappeared back into their busy work, despite the fact their eyes keep flicking back to the two princesses. “I would never knowingly place you in any danger, my student,” a brief choking laugh interrupts her, before Celestia continued unabated, “and as far as I can tell, despite his monstrous appearance, this stallion is the victim of some grand cruelty, rather than an abomination to be feared and despised, why does he scare you so?”

“It, he, it just looked so wrong.” Another great shuddering breath. “Like somepony made it from spare parts and then threw it away because he didn’t work right, and, and the worst part is he was still breathing!” Neither princess noticed as the medical staff flinched at Twilight’s sudden shrieking, ears flattening against skulls as she continued. “What kind of pony could do something like this? What kind of pony would want to live through something like that? Are we even going to be able to help him, or are we going to have to watch him drift away without being able to do anything"

Celestia’s wing never stopped it’s ministrations as her magic floated a cloth over her student’s face, carefully wiping away snot and tears. “Twilight Sparkle, my dear student, even if this stallion were to never wake again we will treat him with kindness until such time as he passes on, surely you would not think that’s doing nothing?” Celestia pressed on as Twilight shrunk back into her pillows. “If his wounds were to render him a cripple beyond any healing, if his mind is so broken that he may never regain a foal’s intellect, if he were to fall to depression at what he has lost; would treating him with the kindness and dignity that any of our little ponies deserve, regardless of how much it helps him, be doing nothing?” The white alicorn clambered back to her hooves, the wing that had been stroking Twilight’s back settling against her side.

“I wish I could stay longer to reassure you, Twilight, but I do not feel that Ponyville is fully equipped to deal with this case. However if you feel strong enough for more visitors, your friends should be waiting outside.” The purple mare’s almost frantic nodding caused a chuckle to slip from Celestia’s lips. “Very well, I’ll send them in, if you promise you’ll listen to Silverheart and Nightingale whilst you are here.”

Twilight watched as the solar alicorn disappeared through the door to her room, the larger princess’s silhouette showing against the door’s glass, before it was flung open and the multicoloured blur of her friends came barrelling into the room. Thoughts of the mystery stallion were abandoned as Twilight was quickly surrounded by her friends, the five mares crowding around her bed.

* * * * *

Blueblood sighed as yet another form fell onto the sea of parchment his desk was slowly being transmuted into. He could’ve sworn that the old mahogany was creaking under the weight of paper, ink, and years as it desperately tried to hold back the ocean of bureaucracy lest it sink behind the surface like the lost city of Hys.

Oh it was lucky for some; his aunt could simply get up and trot away at any point, as she had already done, leaving the interminable task of organising the disaster relief to her nephew alongside the public backlash to any injuries, or heavens forbid, any deaths.

Ink and quill danced in his blue magic as he scanned over damage estimates and guard reports, his brain already whirling with thoughts of press conferences and exclusive interviews, anything to keep the public confidence up. Especially after his aunt’s very public flight from the castle down to Ponyville had already caused a panic that more ancient horrors had awoken to terrorise Equestria.

Blue magic snatched up another report, this one on the projected damage estimates to the winding railway, before ejecting it to the dismissal pile. How there were already damage estimates was beyond him, especially seeing as the tempest still hadn’t been broken up. The image of surveyponies flying through the storm to record the devastation left behind and leaving any citizens they found to the maelstrom’s mercy briefly rose into his mind, before it was ejected with a groan. Hopefully there wasn’t going to be a repeat of the aftermath of the Wedding Invasion and this was just some overly-eager or cynical construction business hoping to get a headstart on the competition by submitting their estimates before doing any surveys.

One white ear perked at the soft noise of the door opening, hidden as it was behind the mountains of paper, before a silver furred and charcoal maned earth pony trotted into view.

“Ah, Obsequience,” Blueblood latched on to the presence of his bâtpony, as if he was adrift at sea and only this silver piece of flotsam could keep him afloat. “Please tell me you have good news.”

“That depends on your definition of good news, sir.” Long-Suffering Obsequience, or ‘Silver Service’ as his birth certificate would claim, pulled a tightly furled scroll from somewhere in his cropped mane. “Your Aunt has sent a letter informing you that she will be back in Canterlot within the hour, she asks that you alert the royal healers to an incoming patient, arrange a press conference for her return, and compile a pertinent dossier so that she may answer any questions raised.”

“Meanwhile I am publicly seen to be doing nothing about this crisis, yet again.” Blueblood slumped into his desk as a tired snort escaped his lungs.

“I would question whether sequestering yourself in your office and drowning in parchment would allow the public to see you doing anything about this crisis, sir? But you know best.” Another, more powerful, snort sent forms and reports fluttering like papery butterflies before Prince Blueblood heaved himself out of his seat.

“Of course I do, Silver Service, that is why the papers lambast me with comparisons to my aunt and her student every chance they dare to take; it is doubtlessly simple jealousy of my superior intellect.” Blueblood made a noise that could have been described as laughter, if laughter was supposed to be a joyless thing. “Shall we see if Raven is willing to let us do her job while she does mine?”

“As you wish, Sir.”

* * * * *

Most ponies would think that being one of the few royal physicians would be a glamorous job. Quarters in Canterlot Castle, working directly for the princesses, treating foreign diplomats of rare poisons or clumsy assassins.

In truth, beyond the very rare gryphon honour duels that the tercel ambassadors inevitably wound up forcing the guards into, or the more common disasters that Equestria was host to, most of the castle’s retained healers had possibly one of the most boring jobs imaginable.

Being responsible for the physical well-being of a growing number of immortals might have been prestigious, but they were immortals; if anything was threatening their health it was usually going to be far, far beyond the capabilities of the white robed medical sages that lurked within the castle’s rather dusty infirmaries.

As such the healers often found their time mostly occupied with the various insane obsessions of the nobles, denying their demands for the newest health or beauty fads that only medicine or surgery could satisfy. Either that or fixing training injuries from guard recruits coming in with hangovers from the previous night before forcing themselves through the drill exercises with disastrous results.

So when a letter arrived in the hooves of Prince Blueblood and his bâtpony, signed by Celestia herself, requesting that they prepare a room for a pony grievously injured in the wild storm that had passed through the Cantering Plains, even after she’d already taken six royal healers down to Ponyville earlier, the medical wing was suddenly host to a level of activity that hadn’t been seen since the Wedding Invasion. Dust sheets were removed and hidden away, machines that went ping plugged in, IV bags full of mysterious liquids were primed to fill the veins of their unsuspecting victim, and Director Bleeding Heart drank enough coffee to keep him awake and alert for the next century.

Now all they could was wait and fret as the golden speck that was Celestia’s chariot grew ever closer.

Author's Note

10 imaginary points and a background cameo to the first person to spot all four intentional references hidden in this chapter.

If you spot a reference I didn't intentionally make, well you're a smart cookie and more hip to pop-culture than I am, but sadly those don't count.

Chapter 3 - Tonight, On Gary Fowler!!!

Director Bleeding Heart stood by the door to his office, his hooves jittering against the tiled floor from a combination of coffee and nerves as he waited for Celestia to arrive. She had taken an interest in the new patient after seeing the state he was in and had very politely requested that she was kept informed of any anomalies. His eyes flicked back to the pair of reports held under one wing.

This would definitely count.

The only problem was figuring out how to explain it to her without a repeat of the no cake incident.

So lost in his thoughts was he that Bleeding Heart didn’t notice Celestia’s approach until a gentle cough brought his attention to the pure white alicorn who was standing in front of him with a look of concern on her snout as he whipped his head up from staring holes into his office wall.

“Princess!” Somehow Bleeding Heart managed to turn his leap of surprise into a grovelling apology, missing Celestia’s quiet sigh as his hooves shook against the floor. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you there.”

“Peace, Director Heart.” Golden magic picked up the pegasus before setting him on four quavering hooves. “There is no need for apologies or grovelling, unless you know something I do not.” Bleeding Heart’s pupils shrank down to the size of pinpricks at his princess’s words, before he started babbling.

“Oh no, not at all Princess, I was simply trying to think of the best way to tell you about our patient’s condition, and I was so lost in thought I didn’t notice you, and I have a duplicate report here for you.” A brown wing snapped out with a manila folder clutched between its primaries.

“Bleeding Heart,” Celestia’s eye narrowed as she stared down at the trembling stallion, “what are you not telling me?”

“I wouldn’t hide anything from you, Princess, it’s all in the report, just let me walk you through it,” the trembling progressed to full blown quaking, unshod hooves clattering against the ground. “Please, I need the normalcy with this patient.”

“If you feel it is that important, Director, then I shall bow to your expertise.” Celestia’s glare softened, although it didn’t quite disappear as she took the folder in her magic, before she followed Bleeding Heart as he started to trot towards the medical rooms.

“Patient is a male unicorn with blue fur and metal grey mane, name unknown, age unknown, although we do estimate him to be somewhere in his early thirties.” His shaking fading away as he fell into a comfortable routine.

“A unicorn, Director?” Celestia interrupted him before he could continue. “I was under the impression that his horn was a crude prosthetic.”

“There were still visible remnants of horn grooving in his skull, and the scans we ran revealed the existence of a well-developed neural-thaumic gland in the patient's frontal lobe. Hockam’s plough implies he was born an unicorn, and the other options are too terrifying to consider.”

“I see, please continue”

“Yes, where was I, name unknown, age unknown, family, that’s one of the confusing parts so I’ll get to that, cutie mark is a pair of wrenches crossed over a pentacle,” Bleeding Heart slumped, his trot turning into a slow plod as he flipped a page in his report, “and now we get to the confusing parts.”

“I have every confidence that you and your staff will be able to handle whatever ailments this stallion is suffering from, Director.” It took every ounce of Celestia’s control to not reach out and pat the downcast pegasus on his head with a wing. Her staff never appreciated that.

“It’s not like we’ll be needed for that, besides the coma he’s currently in and looking like he survived a round through a gryphon M.A.S.H, our mystery stallion is physically healthy as a horse.”

Celestia stopped, one hoof in the air as the image of the scarred and twisted stallion flashed back into her head. “You mean to tell me he is in perfect health while he is in that state?”

“His temperature is holding steady at 37.3°celsius implying that there is no infection from any of his wounds or under his prosthetics which we have so far been unable to remove, his pulse is remaining regular at thirty four BPM which is slightly lower than the royal guard average, and he has a resting respiration rate of nine breaths a minute with no noticeable problem breathing. A small miracle considering there were scars on the side of his neck that implied he had received surgery for laryngeal hemiplegia. As far as I know neither the minotaurs, the deer, nor the zebra have a surgical method for dealing with that particular condition, preferring internal medicine, and our own method is heavily reliant on magical healing. If he received that treatment in the gryphon territories, without suffering complications, he has Discord’s own luck.” The wing not holding a folder ruffled in frustration as Bleeding Heart finished almost bitterly.

“You said he was fine physically,” Celestia cut in before he could continue his rant, trying to change the conversation to a new subject. “What about magically, or mentally?”

“Mentally, we won’t know until he wakes up or he starts dreaming enough that our dreamwalkers can take a look. Either or at this stage.” A heavy sigh escaped Bleeding Heart as he led Celestia down another corridor. This one containing several white robed healers sleeping on scattered couches and chairs while others hurried from room to room, checking on the, mercifully few, ponies that were injured before they could be rescued. “Magically speaking, he’s suffering from one of the most extreme cases of Pariah Syndrome I’ve ever heard of.”

“What?” Bleeding Heart missed the brief flicker of heat around the princess’s fetlocks as he flipped to the next page.

“Pariah Syndrome, or Ivory Tower Sickness is…”

“I know what Pariah Syndrome is, Bleeding Heart, how could I not? It was the root of my sister’s fall to the Nightmare and her attempt to bring about eternal night. It caused Starswirl’s insanity, leading him to write a spell that would forcibly switch ponies cutie marks with anypony nearby. Twilight Sparkle fell into a mania that made her curse the entirety of Ponyville with a ‘Want-it, Need-it’ spell thanks to a relapse to her isolation before she saved my sister of her own madness.” A heated snort washed over the back of Bleeding Heart’s neck, making the tan pegasus flinch, as Celestia’s voice grew cold. “What I wish to know is how one of my little ponies was neglected severely enough that this happened?”

Bleeding Heart gulped nervously as he continued trotting forwards, the tremors causing his hooves to rattle against the floor having returned at Celestia’s barely contained anger. This was going to be unpleasant.

“That leads me to the third point of confusion, Princess.” Paper rustled as another page was turned with a shaking wing. “Once we discovered that the patient was suffering from Pariah Syndrome, we immediately started running genealogical tests as familial magic infusion is the best way to alleviate the harsher symptoms, barring subjecting him to the Elements of Harmony.”

“Such tests take time, Bleeding Heart, and you would not bring it to my attention in such a context unless you had answers.” Another sirocco-like snort ruffled Bleeding Heart’s mane. “What are you not telling me?”

“Once the tests were done we had the results cross-referenced with our archives, alongside sending a copy out to the national medical archives. Both results returned this morning with the same conclusion. Our mystery stallion belongs to the House of Guiding Stars, his sire would be Duke Noble Blood of Whinnysor, and his dame Crown Duchess Peerage of Canterlot, both of whom passed away in the Bugbear attack twelve years ago leaving one, known, surviving family member, Prince Monos Blueblood of Canterlot.

* * * * *

Blueblood shifted awkwardly on his oversized, and overly plush chair cushions as Celestia glared down at him from across the walnut coffee table, Luna wobbling sleepily on her haunches next to her sister as she sipped at a mug of coffee. Her eyes wandering over the room as she occasionally glanced at Celestia or Blueblood before focusing back onto nothing in particular.

Blueblood kept his eyes on the still whole sandwich in front of him as Silver Service fussed around with the teapot. Anything was better than meeting his Aunt’s eyes in this room.

Spirits, how he hated this room.

“Princess,” Silver Service’s voice cut through the light clatter of china against china, and the ticking of the clock, making Blueblood flinch at the sudden sound. “May I ask why exactly you have called Prince Blueblood and myself here?”

Blueblood felt more than saw his aunt’s glare move from him to his bâtpony before she spoke. “My apologies, Silver Service, but we are still waiting on another four ponies to arrive; I fear this matter will be complicated enough without having to repeat myself.” He shuddered at her rebuke against Silver Service, it was always there in this room. The promise of her displeasure, whether he’d earned it or not.

“I simply ask as Prince Blueblood has been forced to miss his last two meals due to work. I fear that Duchess Peerage may actively come down from the Elysian fields to haunt me if I were to let him miss another.”

Blueblood’s head shot up to stare at Silver Service, expression aghast as his aunt tittered before she started speaking again. “I was unaware you knew Duchess Peerage.”

“Only by reputation I am afraid.” Silver smiled as he poured tea into the cup sitting by Blueblood’s plate. “I often saw her with Duke Noble Blood at several of my previous employers’ parties, doting on any foals she could find.”

“Oh yes, I remember one time she brought Blueblood to one of our tea chats when he was still a yearling.” Celestia was smirking now beneath the serene smile that she always projected, Blueblood was sure of it. “She spent the entire time switching between trying to teach him proper etiquette, or fussing over him as he tried to copy what she was teaching him.” She sighed wistfully before setting her teacup down. “Oh, how I wish either of us had thought to bring a camera for that.”

“A shame, Princess, although I believe I know where the Duchess kept her old photo albums.”

“No!” Blueblood’s panicked shout echoed through the room as his hooves slammed down against the table. The noise masked Luna’s grumbling as she snatched up her coffee which sloshed against the rim of her mug. “Obsequence, I thought I told you that my parent’s belongings were not to be disturbed, save for cleaning and preservation.”

“Ah, so you did, Sir, my apologies.”

“Auntie, how much more time must I waste here? I am already behind on my work after yesterday’s fiasco and being dragged away from my study, again, only to sit in this damnable room chatting over tea and sandwiches is not helping the matter.”

“Patience, Nephew,” Luna spoke over the rim of her mug, taking another gulp of coffee before setting it back down, “We have sent out our fastest guards to retrieve the ponies my sister insists should be present for this meeting. Thou shalt not have to suffer our sister’s attempts to lighten her mood for much longer.”

The silence returned as both Blueblood and Celestia shifted against their seats, the sole unicorn in the room nibbling slightly at his sandwich while refusing to meet anypony’s eyes.

The moment lasted until the door swung open to admit one of Luna’s nocturne guards, the thestral saluting the room before stepping to the side to allow entry to Rainbow Dash, Director Bleeding Heart, Obfuscating Legalese, and a clearly uncomfortable Twilight Sparkle.

Blueblood couldn’t fault her, she had been in here just as much as he had, sometimes over the same incident, and his cousin had always taken Celestia’s interrogations and punishments far harder than he had. It was something Shining Armor was only too eager to remind the Prince of when he had forced Blueblood into the sparring ring.

He snapped himself out of his recollections at the feeling of somepony else sitting down next to him on the oversized chair. His turned head showing him a wall of purple and pink, Twilight Sparkle settling into the same contrite sitting position as him even as the other ponies took their own seats on either side of the royal pairs and Silver Service disappeared somewhere into the background.

“Princess Twilight Sparkle, my little ponies, thank you all for coming so promptly,” Princess Celestia spoke gently, cutting off the inevitable questions that were on everypony’s minds, “and know that my sister and I wouldn’t have called for you during this busy time if it was not important.”

The Solar Princess took a deep breath, clearly building herself up to something big.

“A new Crown Prince has been found.”

Author's Note

Blue Beetle should be here next chapter.

He should have been here this chapter, but the needed exposition would turn this from 2K to somewhere in the realm of 5K-6K, and I’m trying to keep these chapters short and (arguably) sweet.

Also, cut content.

"Patient is a unicorn with royal blue fur and steel-grey mane, gender is ,excessively male according to these notes," Bleeding Heart stopped for a second, shaking his head and blinking as though it would cast the images from his mind. "I may need to have words with some of our nurses"

... cut it because it was kind of going for the low-hanging fruit, and remarkably unprofessional for the royal nurses to put those remarks in an official report, but Blue Beetle does have 40 Horse Power to work with.

Giggity.

Chapter 4 - A Prince and His Lands Are One, so We Are Royally Hosed

Celestia watched the other ponies in the room at her announcement. Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash just looked confused, Obfuscating Legalese held onto his mask of professionalism despite a twitch of surprise, and Bleeding Heart just sighed as it was hardly a surprise to him after all even if he didn’t fully understand the implications. But the real reactions came from Luna and Blueblood. Her sister’s eyes widening before she started choking on her coffee, while Blueblood’s mouth fell open and his pupils immediately shrank down to the size of dots lost in a sea of blue.

“Thy japery needs to stop at some point sister,” Luna turned to face her, wiping away the dripping remnants of her drink as her words dripped with scorn. “We are already well aware of the ruin of the Crown Houses at the hooves of Nightmare Moon, such a thing as a new Crown Prince is an impossibility at this point. Unless our nephew has a mistress he is not telling us about.” Blueblood shaking his head fervently at the accusation as the rest of the room turned to him.

”I assure you this is not a joke, Luna.” Celestia kept her voice as even as she could.

“Then why were We not informed immediately, Sister?” Luna’s eyes narrowed as she attempted to stare holes through Celestia. “We hardly have enough time to sit here sipping tea and playing princesses.”

Celestia’s golden magic rattled at her teacup, as if it were a saber in its sheath, while her own eye narrowed. Before she could respond to her sister’s accusations however she was cut short by Rainbow Dash.

“Are you gonna need us to blast this guy with the Elements, Princess? ‘Cause, uh, I’m awesome, but I don’t think I’m five elements awesome.” The rainbow maned pegasus flinched back as both Celestia and Luna turned their glares on her, Celestia’s expression softening before she spoke again.

“No, Rainbow Dash, we will not need your power as an Element Bearer,” a heated snort from Luna let everypony in the room know exactly what she would’ve done if that had been the case. “However I believe I have a hypothesis as to how this new Prince has joined us, which is why I called you. I just need you to answer a few questions.”

“I’m not sure I can help much, Princess, I’m just a weathermare, ya know” Rainbow Dash looked down at her hooves as everypony in the room turned to look at her.

“Precisely, Rainbow Dash, firstly, what can you tell us about the formation of wild storms?”

“Is this question truly necessary, Sister? I doubt any foul weather would be behind this.” Luna interrupted before Rainbow Dash could speak as she glared at her sister.

“Peace, Luna, I promise there is a point I wish to reach with this question.” Celestia sighed as she glanced at her sister’s thunderous expression before turning back to Rainbow. “Now please, Miss Dash, in your own time.”

“Uh, yeah, sure, so,” the cyan mare stuttered and stumbled as Luna continued to glare down at her, before picking herself up as she noticed that the rest of the room was paying rapt attention. Twilight had even materialised a notebook and quill from somewhere and was focused entirely on her friend. “There are two types of wild storms, the first type are the result of multiple weather patterns interfering with each other, like when several towns all have heavy rain at the same time while leaving a central area of clear skies on hot days, or the air pressure differences on the borders between managed airspace and wild airspace like Neigh Orleans and the Hayseed Swamps. These storms are entirely normal and fairly common even if most towns never see them; they usually just blow themselves out or a weather team spots them and sets it off before it can build up enough head to be dangerous. The second type of wild storms are far more dangerous, they’re caused entirely by Wild Magic build up and erupt without warning. They’re called Sentryial Storms ‘cause they occur every hundred years.”

“Centennial Storms, Rainbow” Twilight corrected her without looking up from her notes.

“That’s what I said, Centennial Storms,” Rainbow continued, smirking to cover up a faint blush of embarrassment from being corrected, even as one of the other ponies choked down a snort of laughter. “Anyway, they occur every hundred years, when all that Wild Magic needs to be let out and normally they happen in the really wild places like the Frozen North, Bugbear territory, or the Forbidden Jungles. The weather patrols at the border have to watch out for them ‘cause the amount of magic in them makes it impossible to break them up and real difficult to push off course. The last one came up from the south towards Dodge City about fifteen years ago, and it took all of Cloudsdale’s and Las Pegasus’ weather-ponies to push it down into the Badlands.”

“Very good, my little pony” Celestia’s praise caused the fading blush on Rainbow’s face to reignite, even as Luna rolled her eyes at the pair. “Now could you please describe the storm that hit Ponyville yesterday?”

“It was really bad. The entire weather team was up there and we could barely shift it, our hooves kept going through the clouds and anything we did just seemed to make the entire thing worse, at least until that lightning bolt hit,” nopony but Celestia and Luna noticed Rainbow’s eyes dart towards Twilight as she spoke, her teeth chewing at her lip. “Once that happened it got much easier to move, even if we still couldn’t bust any of the clouds.”

“I see,” Celestia sighed, her eyes flicking to the manilla folder that Bleeding Heart was still holding under his wing. “Thank you very much for confirming my suspicions, Rainbow Dash.”

The entire room paused, waiting for the Solar Diarch to elaborate on her statement, the silence stretching out until Twilight Sparkle spoke up.

“Princess, are you saying that storm was a Centennial Storm?” Blueblood flinched as Twilight’s voice turned into a shriek. “Oh no, those are supposed to only happen every century, what if something’s wrong? Are the storms going to start coming faster and faster? What if something escaped and we didn’t stop it because of the storm and now it’s loose in Equestria and we can’t find it until it’s too late? What if.” Twilight’s frightened rant was suddenly cut short by a sandwich appearing in her mouth, supported by a silver hoof.

“Princess Twilight, if you’ll permit me my opinion, plenty of impossible and unprecedented things have already happened in the last few years; the wedding invasion, your own ascension, and the return of Discord to name but a few events.” Silver Service retracted his hoof as Twilight attempted to chew through the combined bread, salad, and daisies. “Could this unfortunate event not be simply be caused by one of them rather than hailing some new trouble? We already have enough to deal with.”

“While I may disagree with his methods, our Nephew’s servant raises a good point, Twilight Sparkle.” Luna turned her displeasure to the earth pony as he slipped back out of the circle of chairs. “We had many similar incidents of Wild Magic surges following the first fall of Discord and Equis being freed from the stifling grip of his chaotic magic. It is not surprising that his last escape continues to plague us even as he slumbers in his stone prison.” Luna turned back to her sister. “Although I still do not see where thou art going with this line of inquiry, Sister.”

“In due time, Luna. Twilight Sparkle, while I appreciate it has never been part of your studies, what can you tell me about Wild Magic?” The entire room turned to look at the Alicorn of Magic as she rapidly swallowed what was left of her sandwich.

“Wild Magic is,” was all she got out before a coughing fit took her voice away. Snatching the proffered cup of tea to wash her throat clear, it still took her almost half a minute of painful hacking before she could speak.

“Wild Magic is the chaotic magic found in places that are either unsettled, or long abandoned by ponies. While each wild zone is unique in how they develop due to the chaotic effects of Wild Magic, they will often share at least one of the following conditions. Unpredictable weather, untamable animals, arid lands, and a general unresponsiveness to pony magic. Particularly famous wild zones are the Badlands, the Frozen North, the Dragonlands, and the Everfree forest. All of which share at least one of the previously listed conditions, and should not be braved without considerable preparation and wilderness expertise.” Twilight puffed out her chest as she finished and sat as straight as she could, looking up to her mentor for feedback.

“Excellently said, Twilight Sparkle,” Celestia smiled as she spoke, and Twilight felt herself starting to relax a little under her praise. “I believe that explanation was taken from the foreword to Rare Moor’s ‘Surviving the Wilds’?”

“Yes, Princess, Shiny sent it to me when he heard I was moving to Ponyville.”

“Of course,” Celestia muttered before continuing, “the Royal Guard have been using it for the last few years as one of their main training manuals for wilderness exercises. It’s why I’ve been meaning to have that foreword rewritten.”

“W-what, why?” Twilight stammered as her smile slipped away.

“Rare Moor had many talents, but magic was not one of them.” Celestia paused to quickly take a sip of tea before continuing. “And as such he incorrectly mislabelled Wild Magic as chaotic, when nothing could be further from the truth. Wild Magic is entirely natural.”

A shocked silence fell on the room, even as Luna rolled her eyes as both Rainbow Dash and Twilight sat in their chairs, mouths flopping open

“I must disagree, Aunty,” Blueblood spoke through the stunned silence. “I have been to Ponyville and Trottingham on several occasions and the Everfree Forest is anything, but natural.”

“The Everfree is unique amongst Wild Zones; scraps of Discord’s magic still linger there almost three thousand years since his first fall, the Elements of Harmony lay dormant at its heart for a millenia, Nightmare Moon’s magic twisted the landscape and the ley-lines during her rebellion,” Luna grimaced for a second, her glare twisting into an expression of guilt as everypony in the room looked away from her, before returning to her previous expression. “And that is without counting the rapid diminishment of Harmonic Magic from the area, alongside other factors.”Celestia stopped for second before launching back into speech, cutting Luna off before she could speak again.

“Now, one last question should help me explain my hypothesis. Prince Blueblood, could you please explain how you and Princess Twilight Sparkle are related?”

“Aunty, I appreciate that I do like to talk about my genealogy, too much so sometimes, but this hardly seems like the time or place for such a discussion.”

“Then be brief about it,” the Prince flinched back at Celestia’s soft voice, as if she’d snapped her teeth at him, “please, Blueblood.”

“V-very well.” Blueblood gulped as his eyes started to drift, focusing on a distant scroll that only he could see. “Beyond the obvious ‘Royal Family’ connection between us, our closest common ancestor would be my Great grand uncle, Gilded Corona, who married Twilight Path and formed the lesser House of Evening Light. They had three daughters, Phantom Contrail, Sparkling Nebula, and Twilight Twinkle.”

“Wait, wait, wait, you two are related to ‘the’ Phantom Contrail?” Rainbow’s outburst cut through whatever Blueblood had planned to say. The jittery pegasus having remained silent through both Twilight’s and Celestia’s explanation of Wild Magic, her sudden exclamation left the prince stammering at her interruption, as she turned to look at her friend, eyes wide. “Egghead, why didn’t you tell me you were related to a Wonderbolts Captain? We need to get you up in the air if you’ve got Wonderbolt blood in you.”

“While I have no doubt that you will put my cousin ‘through her paces’ based solely on who her grand aunt was, could you please save that discussion for another time?” Blueblood’s voice was almost jovial as he glowered at Rainbow who glowered right back at him. “I shall endeavour not to take up much more of your time, now where was I? Ah yes. While Phantom Contrail and Sparkling Nebula remained foalless, Twilight Twinkle married Shimmering Sword, their union producing Twilight Velvet who married Night Light, the parents of Twilight Sparkle and Shining Armor. Is that accurate enough Aunty?” Blueblood turned to a slightly stunned Celestia.

“Indeed, although I’m not used to such conciseness during your explanations, Blueblood.” Blueblood huffed at Celestia as she smiled mischievously down at him. “And you are the only remaining member of your side of the family tree?”

“Indeed, unless you want to count Luna and yourself, Aunty?”

“No, I do not think we should be included for this particular event,” all mirth dropped away from the solar alicorn. “Now that all of that has been established, does anypony have any questions?”

“Would you spare us your evasion, Sister!?” Luna’s Royal Canterlot Voice powered shout tore through the dining room, shattering cups and sending plates crashing into the walls. “Thou call us here to proclaim that a new Crown Prince has been found, then immediately drop such a topic for inane questions on Wild Magic and more of our nephew’s babbling on his extended and convoluted family tree! Our patience nears its end, and We desire answers!” Her wings flared and her ethereal mane turned dark as the Lunar Princess rose to her feet and loomed over Celestia, mithril horseshoes tearing into the fabric of her cushions as she stomped her hooves down.

Slowly ears rose from skulls as the the ponies sat in almost completely still tableau of shock, the only movement being the rapid rising and falling of Luna’s barrel with her heaving breaths, and Obfuscating Legalese as the unicorn adjusted his glasses with a burgundy hoof and his horn floated a hoofkerchief over the front of his, now, tea stained suit jacket..

“I do not see what is so difficult to understand about this, my Princess.” His voice was completely level as he spoke, even as everypony, including Celestia, shied away from him.

Luna’s head swivelled to face the lawyer, even as the rest of her body remained stock still. “Then elucidate this matter for us.” she hissed, her teeth twisting into fangs and her eyes flickering the malice of Nightmare Moon. Twilight, Rainbow, and Celestia all subtly readying themselves to hold the Lunar Princess back in case she attempted to harm Obfuscating Legalese who was calmly putting his hoofkerchief back into his breast pocket.

“The entire thing hinges on several clearly stated points, several points which can be further induced from these points, common knowledge, and an awareness of what happened yesterday. The first point; the Centennial Storm that hit Ponyville was a surge of Wild Magic exacerbated by the Day of Madness, if not other strange effects caused by the unique magic of the Everfree. The second point; Wild Magic is not chaotic and follows several patterns, most of which we do not fully understand, as evidenced by the list of conditions pointed out in Rare Moor’s book, even if he cannot point to a cause more defined than ‘it is Wild Magic’. Third point; Wild Magic and Harmonious Magic do not easily interact as evidenced in the amount of wingpower required to redirect, not extinguish, a Centennial Storm. Fourth point; alicorns are living fonts of Harmonious Magic as they combine and exponentiate the magic of all known pony tribes. Fifthly; Princess Twilight Sparkle and Prince Blueblood are related, in several ways. Sixthly; the bolt of lightning that struck the Princess during the storm yesterday was carrying much of the storm’s magic as Miss Rainbow Dash stated that the storm became far easier to manage after the bolt landed. And finally; Princess Celestia asked me to look out the Simulacrum, Doppleganger, and Clone laws of 312 DS in preparation for this meeting.” Obfuscating nodded thankfully to Silver Service as the earth pony placed a fresh cup of tea down, before hovering the cup to his lips and taking a sip to ease his throat.

“What I believe Princes Celestia wishes to hypothesize is that when the bolt of wild lightning struck, the magical energy it was carrying was released into Princess Twilight. As she is an alicorn, the Wild Magic could not coexist with her own, doubtlessly immense, well of Harmonious Magic and so sought another form of release, creating this ‘new Crown Prince’ using her familial connection to Blueblood. Why this happened is another matter entirely.” The quiet clink of teacup being placed against saucer finished his statement as the other ponies in the room looked at him with varying degrees of shock, bewilderment, or pride.

“Excellently reasoned and stated, my little pony.” Celestia spoke through the silence, smiling softly as she floated her own, restored, teacup to hover by her head. “While there were several more small points I wished to make, I believe your argument covers everything I had planned to say.” A small sigh escaped the Solar Princess as she sipped at her tea. “Miss Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, you may leave if you wish, this next part of the discussion will be disturbing.”

“I’m sure I can handle whatever you’ve got,” Rainbow stated, as Twilight nodded alongside her, even if she seemed to lack some of Rainbow's blasé confidence. “And Kicker and Blossom are handling the paperwork for today. I'd just be napping if I wasn't here”

Celestia looked down at the two ponies who sat in their respective seats, staring back at her. “Very well, Director Heart, if you could please recount what you were telling me earlier?”

* * * * *

*Ping* went the machine that went ping.

Blue Beetle’s ear twitched at the noise, tickling the snoot of the medical orderly who was leant over the seemingly comatose pony. The sulphur yellow earth pony choked back a sneezing fit for the third time as he let the steel grey mane drop back into position to cover the horrific crisscrossed scars, patches of fused wood, bone, and flesh, and the strange, faded, almost brand-like marking that he had spotted while scrubbing the fresher scars with disinfectant.

Whatever the healed over numbers meant, it wasn’t something that Gentle Restraints wanted to puzzle out. That was something for the Director to do. Just as well, really, being in the same room as somepony in that state was giving him the willies.

*Ping* went the machine that went ping. Twitch went the ear.

And that bloody machine kept on going ‘ping’, he just couldn’t take it anymore. Quickly scribbling down a couple of notes onto the clipboard, he hung the updated chart on the end rail of the bed, before turning and pulling the door open. Brief snippets of friendly conversation assaulting the room’s stifling silence before the door fell shut behind him. The lock clattering loudly in the quiet room.

*Ping* went the machine that went ping. Twitch went Blue Beetle’s ear. Flutter went his eyelids.

Quietly the mismatched pony groaned as he slowly shifted into wakefulness, each regular *ping* of the machine slowly driving him further and further from the realm of dreams. Until, with a final fluttering seizure, his eyelids opened leaving his burnt umber eyes fully exposed to the sunlight pouring through the oversized window for a split second before he slammed them shut again with a grunt of pain.

Jerkily, his left hoof rose from the hospital mattress before flopping over the bridge of his muzzle, shielding his eyes from the harsh light as they edged open again, trying to adapt to the light. Each movement choppy and stiff as he tried to adapt to muscles he didn’t remember having before.

What had happened to his chassis and why did it feel so much softer and more flexible? Where were his wheels or doors? Why was his hood underneath his headlights?

Groggily he tried to remember, muttering out loud to himself as the images flashed through his brain.

He had been driven up to a house, his owner mentioning something about a stake-out, which usually meant he was going to be idling about for a long while. He didn’t mind those, it meant he got to sip on petrol and listen in to passing people, while his owner waited for something important to happen. The only oddity being that his owner had brought the Young Monster and the Mountain Mouse with him this time. Then the White Monster, the one that always called him junk, had pulled up in a big white jaguar. He’d stopped paying attention at this point, settling down into a comfortable idle, until his owner needed him to go again, but something had happened. Something about a rhythmic thumping, flashing lights, paint had splashed on him at one point. The last thing he remembered was the screaming metal as a something picked up the Jaguar and brought it down, before everything went silent.

Was he dead? Was this heaven? It couldn’t have been hell, The Knight spoke of hell as a place of punishment for those who refused to admit their mistakes and to accept forgiveness, and unless confusion was his torment, this place didn’t feel hellish. It couldn’t have been heaven though, everything felt too real, too strained and stressed, like he had forced down a narrow alleyway, the walls scratching at his paint and buckling his wing-mirrors. Something about the entire experience brought to mind one of the films his owner had taken him to see with the Skull.

“I don’t think I’m in Fillynois anymore, Toto”

CHAPTER EN,

“HOLY SHIT, I CAN TALK?”

Author's Note

So, after a brief discussion between my editors, pre-readers, and I, I have decided to add the Alternative Universe tag to this story, for the fact that Discord hasn't been rereleased, and will not be getting rereleased because we already have enough patchwork creatures thank you very much.

Also, to whomever managed to survive all of that exposition, well done, you have done what I couldn't which was part of why this took over a week to write.

There are some little hidden things hinted at in this chapter, and title that alude to further world building down the line, although ten points and a background cameo if you can guess them, accurately.

*Ping* went the machine that went ping.

Chapter 5 - He's More Flesh Now Than Machine, Scarred and Twisted

Endoscope looked up from the cards in her hooves as the white door opened, the quarantine charms etched into the stone frame parting to reveal Gentle Restraints, the normally placid yellow earth pony looking to be in a thunderous mood from his last round with the new mystery patient.

“What parasprite crawled up your plot?” Endoscope did her best to grin disarmingly as Gentle turned his vitriol on the sitting unicorn, his red eyes boring into Endoscope’s own nervous snow-blue eyes, before he slumped down onto a couch.

“Aren’t there supposed to be two of you out here? Where’s Steady?”

“Had to visit the little mare’s room, she shouldn’t be more than a minute” Gentle looked down at the table as Endoscope’s horn shimmered with a low light, pushing several of the cards she’d been looking at over to the other side of the table.

“And you thought you’d best make sure her cards didn’t change in the meantime?” He snarked as she blushed at his comment.

“She’s won the last five hoofs in-a-row,” Endoscope shot back, “I just need this one win, then I’ll be able to turn it around without having to sneak a peek.” Gentle’s disbelieving stare let her know exactly what he thought of her argument, the unicorn shifting under his focus as the earth pony’s eyebrow crept upwards, until the noise of hoofsteps came closer and Steady Hooves trotted out from the muddle of medical ponies, approaching the two of them.

“Sorry for leaving you with her Gentle, did I miss anything important?” Gentle Restraints turned at the shout to see the smiling face of Steady Hooves, the mint green unicorn pulled out her own chair as Endoscope stiffened in her seat.

“Just talking about Mister Frankenreins in there, ain’t that right Gentle?” Endoscope picked up her cards as Steady Hooves settled into the chair opposite, frowning slightly at the response.

“And is there any news on the state of our patient, Gentle?”

“His vitals have remained stable since the last check-up, there were a couple of new scars which were hidden under the nape of his mane, his ear was twitching a bit in time with the machine, so he’s at least reacting to external stimulation. I put everything down in the charts, but I’m blowing out now, I made reservations for a winery tour with Viney this evening.”

“Well in that case don’t let us keep you here, although if you could pass on any updates to Director Bleeding Heart before you go. I believe he’s in the Walnut Room with the Princesses.” Steady Hooves scooped her cards up with a quick burst of magic, a slight frown creasing her snout before the door next to them exploded with noise.

“HOLY SHIT! I CAN TALK?”

“And if you could tell him that the patient has woken up, as well, please?” Gentle was already sprinting away before Steady had finished speaking, the two doctors dropping their cards and rushing through the door.

* * * * *

Rainbow Dash yawned internally as Blueblood and Princess Celestia chatted with the lawyer, or rather the lawyer talked at the other two, citing examples and sources with every other breath. It wasn’t that they were talking about something boring; well it kinda was, but the maroon pony was making what should have been a five minute explanation last for what felt like hours. She’d immediately tuned him out when he started throwing around ancient dates and the names of long-dead ponies. Instead choosing to watch Princess Luna as her expression twisted and changed.

Rainbow Dash didn’t consider herself that observant, so it amazed her that the lawyer could continue talking even as Luna’s expression jumped between guilt, hope and carefully practiced indifference if she thought somepony was looking at her, as he yapped on and on about inheritance rights. There had been something to do with murders in there and Rainbow’s ears had perked briefly before he’d followed it up with talking about fashion, so she’d tuned him out again.

At least the doctor had been interesting, all talking about scars and fake body parts, although if anypony asked she hadn’t felt ill at all during his report. Not like Twilight who’d looked nauseous enough to start blowing chunks then and there, at least until she’d reached out a wing to pat Twilight’s withers which seemed to bring some colour back to her friend’s cheeks. Though she wasn’t sure why everyone was so off put by a few scars, if anything he was like a more beat-up version of Barbed Retort from ‘Daring Do and the Lost City of Shangri-Baa’.

Another brief flick of her ears told her that the lawyer was still going on, this time about ‘inclusion periods’ whatever that meant, although both Luna and Celestia were looking interested about something he’d said, and she could see Luna’s lips moving as she whispered into her sister’s ears too quietly for her to eavesdrop. Not that she wanted to, she just needed something to distract her.

“So, uh, Princesses? I got a question.” Rainbow’s voice cut through the lawyer’s monotonous drone as everypony turned to look at her.

“Yes, Dame Rainbow Dash?”

“You said it was impossible for this guy to be a ‘Crown Prince’, but what about Twilight’s brother, isn’t he the Prince of the Crystal Empire?”

“While our nephew-in-law is indeed a prince, he is a Prince Consort by his marriage to Our niece Cadenza, and not a Crown Prince by current circumstance. Should both our Nephew and this new pony perish, then the title of Crown Prince would fall to Shining Armour’s sire, Night Light, before it fell to Shining Armor, who would have no use for the title as it is lower than his current ranking in the peerage. The reason I claim it is impossible for any other Crown Prince to be found however, is that all the other Royal Bloodlines are extinct. Those bloodlines, other than our nephew’s house have all fallen, and the creation of more during our exile made impossible by our hooves.” A pained expression fell over Celestia’s face as Luna finished, before a white wing wrapped around the the dark alicorn, her expression still utterly impassive as she was pulled to Celestia’s side.

“Luna, we’ve been over this, none of that was your doing, none of Nightmare Moon’s actions were your doing.”

“As you say, Sister.” Luna’s expression flickered into guilt, before her mask returned.

“I, uh, don’t think I’m following this.” A cyan hoof scratched at Rainbow’s scalp as both celestial sisters expressions darkened, before Luna continued quietly.

“The Crown Houses were the direct descendents of Our Sister and I, Dame Rainbow Dash, at least by the time of Nightmare Moon, and most were heavily involved in helping us administer the running of Equestria.” Celestia’s wing tightened around Luna as her voice started to perceptibly shake. “When, when we fell to the Nightmare’s madness and influence, one of our first actions was to cruelly curse those we felt should have seen our loneliness and sorrow. We cursed our sister, who was then known as ‘The Mother of Equestria’, to be barren and deadened, and set upon her descendents a creeping malediction that would turn their fortunes against them, such that even if we were to fail in our mad desires, the pain of abandonment we had felt would follow our Sister as her bloodlines collapsed around her. What we were unaware of was the Nightmare reworking our magic as we cast it so that even our, even mine own bloodlines would be destroyed.” The room was still, even Twilight’s ever-scratching quill had stopped, Luna’s breath hitched while she struggled to continue speaking through her own sobbing and Celestia’s tightening wing.

Rainbow felt her eyes widen as the implications of Luna’s speech started to sink in. Her mouth fell open to tell the shaking princess she understood, that she didn’t have to say anything more, that she hadn’t meant to open up such old wounds again so close to something that had already brought them to the surface, but the words died on her tongue as the Lunar Princess continued. The storm cloud had been kicked and Rainbow was in the path of the lightning now.

“We, I cursed mine own children to die an ignoble end out of spite.” Luna’s eyes darted over to stare at Blueblood, pain and guilt swirling underneath her tears, before they once again locked onto whatever imperceptible thing she was seeing in the distance. “That even one of Our many bloodlines survived this malediction is no small miracle, but they shall be the last, until Niece Cadenza starts her own dynasty. Even if the curse was cleansed away with the Nightmare, no foal deserves to have me as their dame, for their own sakes.”

Luna finished quietly, leaving the room utterly silent as everypony struggled to comprehend what they had just heard. Both Twilight and Bleeding Heart looked close to being ill, Celestia’s auroral mane hung static over her face to hide her tears from view, Blueblood’s pupils had contracted down to being black specks drowning in a sea of blue, even Obfuscating’s professional mask had dropped enough for his shock to show through.

Rainbow struggled for something to say, anything she could think of seemed flippant even for her, but the silence she had caused was eating at her. She needed to break the tension somehow, and for a second she wished she had Pinkie or Rarity’s way with words as her brain kept drawing blanks and the silence just grew deeper and more oppressive.

Until the door to the room burst open, and a bright yellow earth pony stuck his head through. “Director, the mystery patient in room 312 has woken up.”

* * * * *

Steady Hooves would have used many words to describe the mystery patient patient when he was brought in: twisted, patchwork, broken, abomination, though that one was the Pariah Syndrome talking and she found herself rescinding that once he was safely behind the quarantine runes. But one word she would never have thought to use was mobile.

She was quickly reassessing that particular decision as the stallion squirmed underneath both her and Endoscope as the two doctors attempted to pin him to the floor with both magic and physical force. The writhing bundle of blue fur, prosthetics, and scar tissue was twisting and thrashing as he attempted to buck them from his back.

“Would you just calm down!” Endoscope yelled as her ice-blue magic wrapped around his rear hooves before a particularly strong buck sent her flying from his back and onto the bed, the force of her impact toppling it onto its side. Her magic winked out as her horn caught on the bed’s railings.

“You’re not taking another part of me!” The patient’s baritone voice belted out, his thrashing redoubled with the loss of weight, and Steady could feel her grip slipping as she tried to cast a sticking charm between his hooves and the ground. If there was at least one upside it was he hadn’t tried to cast magic to aid his struggling, although he didn’t seem to need it considering how much difficulty he was giving them already.

“Please, you’re going to injure yourself further if you keep this up.” She could feel her rear hooves dragging against the ground as the patient moved forwards, his mismatched hooves never leaving the ground as the sticking charm did all it could against him.

“I know what your plan is, Nurse Ratched!” Endoscope rose from the bed like an angry hippopotamian deity as Blue Beetle continued his struggle before her snow-blue magic locked his hooves together again, leaving him to totter for a second. Until gravity finally took notice and, like a Russian satellite pulled from orbit, he crashed into the ground snout first. Steady Hooves slid across the floor, leaving a trail of curses as she was thrown clear from the collapsing stallion.

“Gotcha!” Endoscope flopped from the bed, landing on shaking hooves as Steady picked herself up, her own red magic mixing with Endoscope’s as the two of them proceeded to envelope Blue Beetle in thaumic restraints. Bands of force snaked their way around his hooves, legs, horn, and muzzle.

Which was when, with a flare of golden light and an eardrum shattering pop, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and Prince Blueblood appeared in the center of the devastated hospital room. The Solar Deity pausing to take in the war torn state of the room and the bound and struggling stallion laying on the floor.

“And what exactly has been happening in here, my little ponies?”

Both Doctors found themselves panickedly bowing, their glowing horns touching the ground as they spoke.

“Princesses! This isn’t what it looks like.”

“I would be hard-pressed to say exactly what it does look like, given that this room appears to have been the target of one of Tirek’s tantrums.” Luna sniffed imperiously as she glared down at the shivering unicorn mares, before her gaze flickered to the mismatched stallion who was still attempting to force his way out of the magical bonds. “However We have lived long enough to know that such a statement is often no falsehood. Explain to us why we find our newest descendant trussed upon the floor as if he were some common criminal.”

Nopony noticed Blueblood’s flinch at Luna’s words as he stood slightly behind the taller of his aunties, staring at Blue Beetle and silently mouthing the words ‘related to this thing’ back to himself, white ears disappearing under his blonde mane in dismay.

“We were stationed outside, so we could respond immediately if there was any deterioration in the patient’s condition,” Steady Hooves started speaking as the two doctors picked themselves up. “During a discussion with orderly Gentle Restraints we heard the patient shouting, at which point we sent the orderly to alert Director Bleeding Heart and yourselves while we entered the patient’s room to make sure he had not hurt himself.” The mint green doctor stopped for a second, her red magic picking up the hospital bed and righting it as Endoscope hovered Blue Beetle over to the bed from where he lay, her own snow-blue magic snapping a set of padded cuffs around his fetlocks as she lowered him onto the mattress the magical bonds faded away from his limbs, leaving him enough give to slump limply against the mattress surface.

“When we entered the patient’s room he reacted violently, screaming at our entry before throwing the bedside cabinet at Endoscope, at which point we attempted to restrain him with a minimal amount of force, only succeeding a moment before you arrived.”

All three royals turned to stare at the dented wall, a collection of splintered planks and twisted metal laying on the floor.

“His prosthetic horn works?” Celestia said, turning her focus back to the pony in the bed, his own umber eyes glaring back at her.

“No,Your Highness, he threw it, with one hoof. I’m just lucky his aim was off, or that would’ve been my head, and despite what Steady tells you, my skull ain’t that thick.” The soft thunk of flesh hitting hoof accompanied Endoscope’s words as she rapped her hoof against her skull, ignoring Steady as she rolled her eyes at her friend’s antics while she inserted several IV needles into the crook of the stallions leg.

“I see,” Celestia’s expression remained inscrutable as her eye scanned back and forth, from the doctors to the stallion laying in the bed. “I am sorry to ask this of you, but my sister and I wish to talk privately with this stallion, could the two of you please wait outside?” Her eye flickered to the band of force that was still wrapped around the stallion’s muzzle, “and if you could also dispel the binding you have on him?”

Endoscope’s mouth fell open, before Steady jammed one of her forehooves in there, wrapping the other around her partner’s neck as she started to drag her towards the door. “Of course, Princess, if you need us at all just call, we’ll be right outside.” The mint unicorn spoke as quickly as possible, the light around her horn dying out as the door closed behind the two unicorns.

“Right outside, and listening at the door no doubt.” Luna muttered to herself as the lock clicked shut and Celestia approached the bed, ignoring her grumbling sister.

“Good day, my little pony. My name is Princess Celestia, may I ask what your name is?” Celestia spoke gently, as if she was dealing with one of the many colts and fillies she’d had to deal with over the years. The young ponies that were enrolled into her school’s boarding halls were terrified after leaving behind the comfort of home for the unfamiliar dorms they’d be staying in, so a gentle voice did wonders in helping them relax.

Not that it did much good here, the mismatched stallion just continuing to glare silently at her as she waited for his response, the silence stretching on until he finally spoke, his baritone voice ruined by an obviously fake Shettish accent.

“Give me your full name, Princess, and I shall give you mine.”

The entire room blinked, before Celestia responded, “My full name may take some time, the short version however should suffice for now. My name is Princess Celestia Sol Invictus.”

“Blue Beetle.”

“Very well, Blue Beetle,” Celestia smiled gently as she sat next to the bed, lowering her head until it was level with Blue Beetle’s. “Do you know where you are?”

“Being held against my will?” Came the immediate response, leaving Celestia to chuckle for a second, as both Luna and Blueblood crept up behind her.

“Not quite, Blue Beetle. You’re currently in Canterlot Castle’s medical wing.” The amusement drained away from Celestia’s expression, leaving only motherly concern in its wake. “I had you brought here after you were found on the edge of the Everfree Forest, with both physical and magical wounds that the local hospitals were not equipped to handle. Can you remember anything from before you woke up here?”

“Yes.”

The silence stretched on from his reply, Blue Beetle glaring into Celestia’s eyes as she continued to sit there, matching his indignation with compassion, until Celestia spoke again. “Are you going to tell us anything?”

Blue Beetle didn’t break eye contact as he lifted one of his forelegs as far as it could go, rattling the cuff around his fetlock against the bed’s railing before letting it drop back to the bed again.

“My apologies, Blue Beetle, I forget how zealous some of my little ponies can be sometimes.” Celestia spoke as her golden magic wrapped around three of the four restraints holding Blue Beetle to the bed, the metal clinking as the cuffs around his fetlocks disengaged leaving the restraints to dangle freely from the railings around the bed. “Now if you could please tell us anything you remember?”

Rolling his shoulders Blue Beetle pulled himself into a more comfortable sitting position, ignoring the tug of the IV needles that had been taped into place. “Well, the last thing I remember is dying.”

“You... died?”

“Well what else would you call it when a demon picks you up and tries to use you as an impromptu bludgeoning tool? Yes, I died, and then I woke up here.”

All three royal ponies just stared at Blue Beetle as he spoke. His blase tone and casual posture set against a disaster that hadn’t happened in millennia. The last demonic incursion had happened before even Discord’s time, creating the chaos that had brought the Mad King’s attentions to Equestria in the first place. If another incursion were to have happened there was no telling what would follow.

“Blue Beetle, my little pony, it is critically important you tell us where this attack happened.” The concern had drained out of Celestia’s expression, leaving her as stony faced as the dark blue alicorn sat behind her. “If any of the fiends of Tartarus are loose in Equestria there is no knowing what sort of horrors they may unleash.”

“Chicago.” Blue Beetle missed Celestia’s blink of confusion as he paused, his snout scrunching up in confusion, before exploding into a rant. “What the hell? Why can I say Chicago, but not Fillynois?”

The Solar Princess turned away as Blue Beetle continued his rant, names and terms she’d never heard before mixed with places she recognised, the stallion’s shouting fading into a distressed grumble as the three royals huddled into their own conversation.

“We, I may not be be familiar with the newest cities of Our realm as you, Sister, but I have not heard of this ‘Chicago’.”

“Indeed, Auntie, unless he means Chicoltgo,” Blueblood paused before turning to look at Blue Beetle who was still raving unintelligibly in his bed. “Although judging by his current tantrum that may be the wrong answer.”

“Nonetheless.”

“Nonetheless what, Sister?”

“It does not change the facts we have at hoof, and attempting to add more now will only muddle our course of action. This stallion has been with us for the last day and as far as I am aware, neither of us have heard of any troubles in Chicoltgo. We will launch an investigation once we are done here, but for now we mustn’t panic or rush to conclusions.” The white alicorn paused, looking to her sister for a moment, before continuing. “Luna, what happens here is your choice. What do you want to do?”

The Lunar Princess looked down at the floor as she scuffed her hoof. “I would rather leave this to you, Sister” A frown creased Celestia’s brows for a second, disappearing as Luna looked back up, opening her mouth to speak before Blueblood interjected.

“Aunty, you cannot be serious about this?”

“And who art you to tell Us what We can and cannot be serious about, Nephew?”

“I refuse to believe I am related to that, that, that modern Amalthea!” Blueblood hissed back at Luna as she glared down at him.

“Why Blueblood, I thought you derided Frankenreins as ‘sensationalist rubbish that only lent pointless credence to the myth of the tragic necromancer’.”

“It was written by a friend, I would be remiss if I did not read it. As I told Miss Shelley however, liking it is another matter. As is your attempt to deflect this matter away, Aunty, I know the law you have prepared and as the oldest member of my family I refuse to accept that I am related to that thing.”

“You are the oldest living member of your family?” Luna scoffed, “Did you not find it odd that you call my sister ‘Aunty’? Or that we just conversed upon the matter of our descendents? Or.” A sudden yawn ripped through Luna’s speech forcing her to cover her mouth with a hoof before she continued. “Sister, may we be done here soon, I wish to salvage what little rest I may.”

“Very well, Luna.” Celestia nodded her assent before turning to Blueblood who just glared sullenly up at her. Opening her mouth to say something to the dour prince, she thought better of it, snapped her mouth shut, turned around, and started trotting back to Blue Beetle’s bedside with both Luna and Blueblood following behind her.

The mismatched stallion looked at her as she sat on the floor next to the bed, his own stormy expression almost perfectly matching Blueblood’s sullen pout.

“Are you three done figuring out what exactly you’re going to do to me yet, or did you have more questions?”

“I have plenty of questions for you, my little pony, but they can wait for now. Firstly, we need to talk about how you are going to fit into your new life.” Celestia smiled gently as Blueblood snorted heavily behind her, his titanium shod hooves pawing at the ground. “Thanks to the unique nature of your birth, you are a perfect genetic match for my nephew Blueblood. With the added fact that your birth was not performed with the intention of bringing harm to, or replacing, any of my subjects that leaves your status as a legal citizen of Equestria firmly in my hooves.” The solar alicorn paused, letting her words sink in as Blue Beetle’s tail thrashed and his eyes darted back and forth, before a wide smile split her muzzle. “Welcome to the royal family, Blue Beetle.”

Blue Beetle froze, not responding as Blueblood stomped his way out of the hospital room, grumbling under his breath. Not flinching at the sudden flash of light, and cracking report of Luna’s teleportation. It was only when Celestia leant down to nuzzle him that he gave any response.

“What?”

CHAPTER END?

Author's Note

Royal Titles

High Princess is the official title for any ascended Alicorn. This is then followed by deed titles so Princess Celestia's full title would be High Princess Celestia Sol Invictus, The Dawnbringer, The Guiding Light, The Mother of Equestria, Bringer of Harmony, sealer of Discord, She Who Defeated Tirek, Ender of Tyrants, etc, etc. (It goes on for some full pages, as does Luna Nocte Imperatoria)

Prince[ss] Consort is the title for anypony who marries an Ascended Alicorn (yes, both the sisters have experimented, 3,000+ years is a long time to try out kinks). These are usually ascended to nobility by their marriage to a High Princess so it's not common for them to have a previously extant title, though they'll gain a duchy, after any deed titles they may have had previously, E.G: Prince Consort Shining Armor, Eldest Son of House Evening Light, Captain of the Solar Guard, Master of Warding, Duke of the Crystal Empire.

Crown Prince[ss] is the official title for the product of these unions. Most of these titles are followed by "Royal Duke of -", and then title deeds so Blueblood's full title would be "Crown Prince Ursiel Blueblood, Royal Duke of Canterlot, Royal Explorator, Head of the Equestrian Royal Ordnance Survey (E.R.O.S)".

It is not known if Male ponies may ascend, though it has not happened, yet, so High Princess is currently the highest title in the nobility of Equestria, which is gonna be awkward when somepony does, as until the paperwork can be properly altered they'll be considered the only Male High Princess.

A Modern Amalthea? What is That?

I took the name Amalthea, from the Last Unicorn, as a replacement for Prometheus, as Amalthea herself does originate from Greek mythology as the foster mother of Zeus.

Amalthea was the first unicorn, and her brothers Luno, and Bucephalus were the first pegasus and earth pony as the tribes are recognised today.

In this mythology (depending on which tribe's history you're reading) Amalthea is credited as taking the secrets of magic from the heavens themselves with the aid of her brothers who aided her in climbing the Celestial peak, all three achieving their apotheosis into their respective tribes by what they contributed to the climb.

However in the old tribalist stories, Amalthea is either attacked by her brothers as she climbs, Bucephalus pushing an avalanche down upon her, and Luno lying to her and leading her into storm in the Unicornian myths. While in Pegasopolian and Gaian myths she's reduced to a cowardly sneak who mutilates herself by fashioning a crystal horn that allows her access to magic, using it to attack her brothers from afar. Her ascension into a unicorn in this case either a reward for her bravery and cunning in defeating her brothers attempts to thwart her, or a punishment to be forever mutilated for her cowardice.

Points to those who can identify Luno without using Google.

Chapter 6 - There Will Be Blueblood

It was always stunning, this far up. To see the world laid out before his eyes, an endless horizon of possibilities that teased at his mind and tugged at his cutie mark. Even if the view was nothing more than the expanse of the South Luna Ocean, Blueblood could not deny that the raw potential of discovery made his heart soar as if held aloft by the wings of an alicorn, foalish daydreams of exploring vast underwater ruins, or mapping out the Kelpie Kingdom taking root in his imagination as he watched the sun fall below the horizon.

Of course the sound of his unwanted passenger asking question after question brought him straight back to reality, a sidelong glance at the patchwork mockery of a pony who had abandoned his surly attitude the moment he had seen the docks full of airships, and was following his treacherous bâtpony around like some sort of mongrel pup.

Grumbling under his breath Blueblood slouched further into his chair and turned his attention back to the untainted expanse, trying to lose himself in the possibilities it held again. Setting his mind loose upon an ocean of whimsy, Blueblood’s eyes drifted shut as his breathing slowed and his daydreams turned to slumber.

Guards and serving ponies alike cleared the halls as Blueblood stormed through the castle, his normally pristine white coat turned storm grey to match his thunderous mood, the image only topped off by the strands of electricity leaping from his mane and tail to strike anypony who couldn’t flinch away in time. A trail of singed ponies and blackened marble leading from the medical wing.

By the time he had reached his office the hallways had emptied ahead of him, leaving only a pair of guards stationed on either side of the doors to his office. Doors that he promptly threw open with enough force that both armoured stallions swore they could see imprints of the handles in the marble walls. Imprints that were barely inches from where they stood.

Gulping, both guards glanced at each other before the sound of Blueblood clearing his throat brought them to an almost impossible attention.

“Gentlecolts, I apologise for the situation I am about to put you in,” Blueblood’s manic smile contrasted with the vitriol of his tone, and the vicious crackling of his mane, “but I wish to be undisturbed for the rest of the afternoon. I will not be taking any visitors. I will not be taking any meals. I will not be accepting any gifts, or recompense, or wastes of my time. I do not care if my aunt herself comes down and orders you with the full power and authority of the sun, the kingdom, and her cake engorged flank. I do not wish to be disturbed!” Blueblood’s eyes darted from one guard to another, before he started speaking again, the words bubbling oddly as if he was trying to maniacally laugh and speak at the same time. “And I am sure I could find some exceptionally unpleasant duty for a pair of guards who could not follow such a simple order, am I understood, gentlecolts?”

Neither guard could answer before Blueblood stormed past them, the doors to his office slamming shut behind him,rattling loose the dust that the maids had missed.

Both stallions glanced at each other at the sounds of Blueblood stomping through his office before fixing their gaze on some indeterminate point in the distance.

“Do you think we should’ve told him we saw his butler slipping past him as he was talking?” One guard spoke, seemingly to the wall, before a flash of light and the rumble of thunder escaped from the gap underneath the door.

“I think he knows”

Silver Service had served a wide variety of nobles before coming into Prince Blueblood’s household; some had been abusive and cruel, some had been vain and petty, a small spattering had been well-intentioned but thoughtless, and one had even been his wife back when he was serving in the Royal Bombardiers.

And with the exception of that last pony he could say he cared not a whit what they thought of him. All of them had treated him as more of a possession or a pet, a dog to do tricks when called, and to be put in a closet when unasked for.

It was why he was glad to serve the Royal Family now. He had read horror stories of what those vain, cruel petty nobles had been capable of in centuries passed. Things that some of them still tried to do if they felt they could get away with them. Blueblood had never tried to legally change Silver’s name just to show he could, Luna had never attempted to surreptitiously destroy the staff housing without replacement just to build a personal theatre, Celestia had never discharged Silver from the guard and broken apart his marriage just because the higher ranks couldn’t be seen fraternising with the troops.

The prince had always treated Silver like he was another pony; not a toy, not a pet, not something disposable.

Although sometimes Silver had to remind himself of this fact.

Lightning crackled throughout the office, several bolts lancing past Silver’s head by a hair’s breadth to strike the wall behind him with the fury of the Storm King himself as Prince Blueblood vented his vexation with barely articulate cries of rage.

Silver tracked Blueblood as the prince stomped back and forth behind his desk. It was a shame, Silver thought to himself, It had been almost half a year since Blueblood’s last episode, and that had come from the public backlash of the Grand Galloping Gala.

Eventually Blueblood started to calm down, the roiling grey bleeding away from his coat leaving it pure white and his mane settling back against his neck and withers as the last feeble bolts of lightning arced from strand to strand with sputtering pops.

“Sir...”

“I know!” Blueblood turned to look at Silver, his barrel heaving with each breath. “I know, Auntie isn’t going to replace me, especially not with somepony who literally just fell from the sky, but...” Tears started to build in the corner of the prince’s eyes as he slumped back onto his haunches, his voice quavering with each heaving breath. “Would it kill her to just give me something? Twilight gets her ascension for fixing an old spell, Cadance got hers for helping other ponies make homage to Sleipnir. I slave away behind this mountain of dead trees for months, for years and I get nothing; no pair of wings, no second horn, not even so much as a ‘Thank you’. I just continue to be the royal scapegoat without any sort of respite from everypony else’s bad decisions.” Ugly tears rolled down Blueblood’s face as he slumped down further and further until he had almost rolled himself into a ball on the floor, nestled into the scattered scrolls.

Carefully Silver edged around the desk, his hooves stirring the carpet of parchment with each step, until he was stood next to the weeping prince.

“Sir... Monos.” Silver spoke as softly as he could, as Blueblood peeked up at him with one puffy, reddened eye.”I do not think I can speak entirely for the Princess, but I know it would break her heart to know that you felt this way...”

“G-Good to know I can disappoint her in an en-entirely new way then.”

Silver Service continued speaking over Blueblood’s sullen muttering. “...It would break her heart to know that she had caused you to feel this way.” One of Silver’s hooves settled haltingly on Blueblood’s withers. “She’s only ever wanted you to be happy, Sir.”

Tears continued to rain heavily from Blueblood’s eyes; the large droplets streaming down his cheeks before falling like watery boulders to crash against his hooves, while his withers heaved and any words he wanted to say were caught in his throat.

“Sir, if I may make a suggestion.” Silver’s hoof fell from Blueblood’s shoulder as he sat down on the floor. “You need to get away from here for some time. Take a vacation to one of the old estates. Leave your work behind for a while.”

Tears welled up in Blueblood’s eyes at the suggestion. “B-But what if Aunty needs me? W-What if…”

Silver’s chest tightened as something cold and horrible clawed its way up from his stomach while he listened to Blueblood’s panicked babbling. “Sir, you need to leave your work behind for a time, if only to keep you from the hospital.” Silver spoke with a strict finality, doing all he could to keep his voice level against his rising gorge. “And if I can guess at how the Princess thinks, she is already planning on saddling you with the responsibility of teaching your new brother.” Silver didn’t stop speaking, even as he noted the sneer that flitted across Blueblood’s face at the mention of this ‘new’ pony. “You can’t do that if you’re stuck behind this desk from dawn to dusk.”

“Somepony else can do it.” Blueblood’s voice came out with a level of venom that Silver hadn’t heard before, brief crackling sparks of electricity jumping between strands of his mane, and the earth pony found his chest tightening again as he forced himself to speak.

“Who else can but you, Sir? The Princesses? Celestia is too busy teaching your cousin, Cadance is still trying to modernise the Crystal Empire, and you heard Luna during the meeting,” Silver loomed over Blueblood as he spoke his next words. “Or are you suggesting that he is to be thrown out to the public as he is? The nobles would tear him apart within a week. Which house do you think would claim his hoof just to get at your pockets? Just to get Celestia’s ear? To elevate their own status? Which parasite do you want to be chained to, Sir?” Silver stared down at Blueblood, as the prince shrank back under the onslaught of hissed words, and the looming earth pony’s glare, before he returned fire with his own vitriol.

“I don’t have the time to waste on that abomination.”

“Helping a pony who shares your blood is not a waste, Sir.” That terrible, chill, tightening in his barrel had returned, and it was all Silver could do to not spit the words at Blueblood, before continuing. “And I believe you’ll find yourself with an abundance of free time come this evening seeing as Miss Inkwell hoofed me a signed letter from you aunt, commanding you to take at least one month of vacation, starting tomorrow, or else.”

“She cannot do that!” Blueblood surged to his hooves, a cloud of parchment rising with him as he attempted to loom over his bâtpony, his horn flickering with barely constrained magic while the white of his coat darkened to a thunderous grey.

“I believe you will find she…” Silver started to speak before a flash of heat and light scoured his eyes and a thunderous detonation forced his ears flat against his skull. Flinching he barely had time to whimper before...

: : We do think we have seen enough. : :

Silver stepped backwards as the chaos in the office froze around him, parchments and papers suspended in the air, Blueblood held halfway through the act of unleashing the lightning held in his horn.

: : Is this a memory or a fear, little pony? : :

“Who’s there?” Silver asked the apparently not so empty air, before a great ruffling sigh blew through the petrified room.

: : Do you not recognise your princess, Silver Service? : :

The front wall of the office quivered for a second, before collapsing in on itself revealing Princess Luna standing in the middle a trail of starlit void that cut through the motionless castle, the haze of dreamstuff spreading from her hooves as she started to carefully pick her way through the frozen office.

“Princess Luna.” The earth pony paused for a second to stare at her sudden appearance of the lunar alicorn. “I take it I am dreaming then?”

“Indeed, Silver Service, although remembering may be more apt to describe the first portion of thine slumber.” Princess Luna stopped by the frozen statue of Blueblood, appearing to examine it for a moment before she turned to the rest of the tableau. The motion causing a wisp of firmament from her mane to brush against the false prince, which in turn caused the furious effigy to melt away, banished back into the dreamstuff from which it came. “And such a curious dream it is too. Completely identical to the little prince’s own memories, up to a certain point at least; the role of aggressor was mirrored there.” One mythril clad hoof poked a form that had been hovering over Silver’s head as he gaped at her words, what little bit of his professional dignity was left fled at this proclamation.

“I would never, I couldn’t, it wouldn’t be.” Silver stumbled over each set of words as the meaning of Princess Luna’s words crashed against his mind’s eye.

“‘It wouldn’t be right’? Nay it would not be truly right.” Luna turned to face the stuttering pony as he fell to his haunches. “Although ‘would it be correct?’ Is another matter entirely.” Luna sighed before sitting on the ground. Her cyan eyes met Silver’s, boring into him as she spoke. “Our nephew fears to the point of revulsion of being ousted from what he thinks is the one thing that can bring him the recognizance of my sister, and as such give him the worth he so desperately wishes for, and this fear is killing the pony he could be. To say nothing of mine own sister who has been forced to keep him caged and safe beneath her wing too long, such that it has become habit for her; already she frets and worries and it has not yet been a day since your leaving.

“The two needed to be separated lest my sister smother Our nephew and break her own heart in doing so, and in pushing the two of them apart so, We run the risk of breaking the last of a bloodline that has stood for as long as Equestria itself.” Luna sighed before her head slumped downwards leaving her eyes hidden behind her drooping flow of her mane and ears pinned back against her skull.

“It may seem cruel to put this burden on you alone, but even I cannot be in two places at once in the waking world, and my sister needs me.” Luna raised her head again, the fur under eyes matted and damp. “Please, find Our nephew something to hold dear to his heart, rather than letting him wither away endlessly waiting for a pat on the head from Our sister.”

“How could I not, Princess?” Silver didn’t even need to think before he responded, his back and neck straightening out as he sat to attention.

“My thanks to you, Silver Service. We- I doubt this will be easy, but my hopes for your success in this are high.” Pushing herself to her hooves, Luna looked down proudly at Silver, before dissolving away into dreamstuff, the quiet echoes of her voice drifting through the starry void that had already begun to twist and shift to something new.

: : We shall leave you to pleasant dreams now, and bid you a restful slumber. : :

Luna watched as the twin motes of her power drifted between the portals, slowly binding the two dreams together into a unified and peaceful whole. Her lack of practice with the technique necessitating a frustratingly slow pace as the edges of the immaterial threatened to fray and leave entry points for the vile denizens of her dreamscape.

: : It wouldn’t be so hard if you hadn’t… : :

Luna brushed aside the accusing voice of her Tantabus as she worked, the time for self-recrimination would be later, now she had a more imminent wrong to start making right. Putting together what she had broken was more important than moping about it.

The sounds of cutlery and distant chatter echoed through the phantasmal void before, with a final flourish of light and a noiseless pop, the two motes separated from the paired dream, leaving the edges perfectly integrated, and yet not so strongly bound that either pony would be bound to the dreaming realms until the other woke up.

: : How many did you leave to waste away in their own personal Tartarus’? Other ponies watching as they withered in eternal slumber. : :

Luna didn’t move through her realm, she didn’t have to, the magic of her domain allowed her to be wherever she wished to be, wherever she was needed she was, and she was everywhere else at all in the same instance.

At least that was the theory. In practice she found it easier to separate that part of her magic from her greater consciousness and allow the motes of her power to flow through the dreaming realm as fish through a great astral sea. It was easier than waking up each morning as an amorphous miasma of magic and firmament and having to literally pull herself back together.

: : Always taking the path of least resistance aren’t you? So scared of stepping a single hoof out of your comfort zone on the slightest chance that you might actually succeed in finding a lower depth of uselessness to sink to. : :

Turning to head to her last part of her nightly duties, barring any surprise nightmares or incursions of the dreaming realms less amicable residents, Luna was stopped by another of her motes, this one imbued with enough of her power to form itself into a facsimile of her own form barely six inches tall, although without the aetherial mane or tail. The minute Luna’s tugging at her much larger clone’s mane as she attempted to pull the Lunar Alicorn from her path could mean only one thing.

The surrounding firmament flickered as the dreamscape moved around Luna, as if her hoosteps were rotating the heavens like some great ball, stopping only to leave her staring at an ornate door. Her sister’s sun decorated the white marble, its inner radiance turning dim and sickly as creeping veins of sulphurous fear crept through the alabaster stone.

A lance of guilt stabbed her heart as she set about purifying the fear from her sister’s dreams with well practiced motions. None of this would have been necessary if she had just…

: : Just done what? Demonstrated a little Honesty and told your sister what you were feeling? Show some Loyalty and trusted her to understand? Understood that without the virtues that you espoused Magic is as worthless as Apathy to a Changeling? : :

Shaking her head to clear away the treacherous words Luna turned her attention back to the door, her lapse in attention allowing the fear to creep back in. It was the work of a moment for her to clear it away from her sister’s building nightmare, before pushing a little more of her power into the mote. The tiny thing grew in leaps and bounds until it was almost eighteen inches from hoof to horntip and barded fully in silver armour.

A hoof stomp and a salute were the only acknowledgement Luna got of the mote understanding its new power before it faded away into a stream of light and slipped through the white marble of her sister’s mind. The briefest image of Celestia galloping through an illusory copy of Canterlot Castle as she called for somepony, anypony to find her, accompanying its journey, before she pushed the dream to the back of her mind.

: : Even now you choose to avoid her, turning instead to your “duties” so that you have another flimsy excuse to push her away for another day. Just so you don’t have to confront how much you hurt her. : :

No! She still had one last task to do tonight. She could see Celestia any time in the dreamscape or the waking world, but the longer she put this task off the longer her desce… her nephew could be in danger.

Another great shudder of the dreamscape around her found Luna back where she had been before, staring at the hideous conglomeration of metal and wood that hovered just by the joined dream of her nephew and his bâtpony. No slab of of iron or chunk of pine matched the other parts in colour or shape. Pieces of her newest ’nephew’s’ cutie mark were scattered across the jumbled edifice.

And yet for all its aberrant nature she could feel no malice coming from the door to the patchwork pony’s dream as she brushed against the ramshackle creation with her senses. There was no terror, or rage, or sorrow. Just a strangely muted sense of nostalgia that reminded her of her own remembrance of days long gone by. If there was any better time to get answers to this ‘Blue Beetle’s’ past she would never find it soon.

Taking a final breath to steel herself, Luna Nocte Imperatoria, Warden of Dreams, She who Paints the Stars, The Duskblade raised her hoof and pushed the aberrant doors open, stepping into the unknown.

CHAPTER END

Author's Note

Luna’s Motes

They’re essentially a radar system.

They’re tiny little points of her magical awareness, that allow her to be aware of problems that crop up in the dream realm, or direct her towards nightmares in places where her direct attention isn’t focused.

I mean the common image is one of Luna trotting down an infinite corridor of doors/windows/swirling portals, but let’s be fair, how long do you think that would take to check the full population of Equestria, not counting the other nations of Equus.

Even if you say that time flows differently in the Dreamscape, the experience of time doesn’t so Luna has to experience that infinite trot each night, and that’s nothing to say of recurring nightmares where she might have to turn back and backtrack some of that progress.

So yeah the Motes save her that time by essentially being an early warning system, being tiny little bits of her power, watching dreams, and if she puts enough power into them, calming nightmares while she has to be elsewhere.

A Summary on Blueblood’s Problem (And Why I Probably Suck at Properly Displaying it Because I am NOT a Psychiatrist)

At its heart Blueblood’s problem is one of having no real source of internal validation, while being stuck in a job that he does to make other people happy, in the hopes of receiving some sort of thank you.

His parents died when he was thirteen, after raising him enough to understand the basic morals, ethics, and responsibilities of his position, but not enough to help him develop them in a way that was healthy for him.

Meanwhile, Celestia who should be raising him from this point to find something he finds rewarding, while also being a functional member of society, is fully stuck trying to curb Sunset Shimmer’s slide into egomania (which she fails), and only has time for Blueblood when he’s either done something wrong (enter the walnut room), or is trying to be “an adult” and helping her with her paperwork which is what his parents used to do as part of the responsibilities of their position.

Add into this Silver Service, who Celestia hired as Blueblood’s butler, while expecting him to be something more of a parental figure to Bluey, and you’ve got a mess.

Blueblood desperately wants some form of validation for what he does, especially as the press (once he hit eighteen) love to use him either as a vacuous pretty boy who does nothing but waste the royal budget on several estates that he doesn’t visit (because Celestia doesn’t let him leave Canterlot, out of fear that Nightmare Moon’s curse will kill him if he’s away from her for more than a day), or as a royal scapegoat for all the bad decisions that the Crown makes because Celestia’s flawless (and ponies will not believe otherwise, which makes publishing and trying to sell papers going against this commonly held fact a waste of money).

So Blueblood latched onto the idea that he can make his Aunty proud by drowning himself in work because Celestia was too busy with Sunset, Cadance, and Twilight to pay him any attention unless it was when he helped her with her paperwork. And Celestia, in wanting to keep Blueblood close to protect him from Nightmare Moon’s curse, helped foster this attitude.

Then the events surrounding Blueblood’s cutie mark happened, but those are spoilers for now, so let’s just say it only helped to push the wedge in further, leading to Celestia essentially chaining Blueblood to a desk to keep him safe and throwing more and more non-essential work at him to make sure he wouldn’t have the time to do, what she thought was, stupid and dangerous teenager things, while Blueblood slaved away for a pat on the head, because he thought the grunt work Celestia gave him to keep his rump parked in his seat was important enough that he had to do it.

The mental separation between what the two of them wanted from each other only getting worse and worse, as first she had to teach Sunset, then Cadance came along and had to be educated in how to be a princess, then Sunset left and Celestia spent all her time grooming Twilight to be the Element of Magic, seeing as her cutie mark is on the Tree, then Luna returned and needed to be caught up on modern day, and at some point in this mess it became less about protecting Blueblood the pony, and more about protecting her sister’s last descendant so she could have something to come back to.

Not a happy place to experience your teenage/early twenties. Even when we don’t add in the Nobles attempting to snag Blueblood for one of their own families.

So I Changed Blueblood’s Name

I want to preface this note by saying, I ain’t J.R, I am not going to be able to come up with my own language, including grammar structures and all the madness that is involved in created a spoken & written tongue.

That said, I am kind of bullshitting my way through putting bits and pieces of Stellar Linguistica (obviously fakey-made-up language of the stars which draws mostly from Latin and does what I need it to do) into the story, most specifically in Blueblood, Celestia, and Luna’s full names.

So Celestia Sol Invictus means (gibberish probably) “The Heavenly Sun That Stands Unyielding”.

Luna Nocte Imperatoria means “The Night That Guards The Imperial Moon”.

And last Monos means “The Singular One”, “The Exalted One”, or “One Whose Deeds Are Singular, Whether For Weal Or Woe”.

This change comes as the idea of my pre-readers, who disliked the name Ursiel (which has some unfortunate implications in the Dresden Verse that I was aware of and planning on playing with) which means “The Gluttonous Guardian”, “One Who Sacrifices For Family”, or “One Whose Fury Is Easily Roused”, and I grabbed it because I wanted his first name to be both a little symbolic, and connected to a constellation (Ursa Majoris).

It’s been changed to Monos, which is a reference to “Monoceros” or the Unicorn Constellation, and a jokey reference to the fact that he was supposed to be a single child.

Chapter 7 - The Six Dollar Car

Blue Beetle sat there in a grey void, staring forwards at himself as he slowly rusted away.

It was funny, he thought to himself. He’d never had to think about it before, but there was a strange sort of immortality to his old life. Parts could be replaced, rust could be cleaned away, a hammer and wrench would fix him rather than make the problem worse.

His gaze fell away from the half-buried carcass of metal and oil to blearily focus on the muddy ground, scraps of iron and chips of paint that had flaked off of his old body being slowly swallowed by rain and dirt. Would his new body have that same sort of immortality? Could he simply replace his new doors, or hood, or engine if they got damaged? If that was possible why didn’t The Knight ever do that? If anypony had ever deserved that sort of kindness it was him.

Grey mist pressed in against him, shadows of the last time he’d seen The Knight threatened to take over his dream. Memories of his owner’s helplessness and worry pushed at his thoughts before he squashed them. There was supposed to be an order to his dreams.

Dreams, heh. He’d never had to dream before. All he had had to do was wait for his owner to tell him when and where to go and he’d go.

“So, what kind of car are you looking for, Mr…?” The rough voice carried into the grey mist, waves of sound brushing away the fog from the edges of scrap mountains to reveal them in all their terrible inevitability. The rotting carcasses of vehicle and appliance alike as great a testament to death, decay, and entropy as any graveyard or mausoleum, before they faded back into grey mist.

“Dresden, Harry Dresden.” The second voice rolled over the scrap yard despite how quiet it was, and Blue Beetle twisted his head to look in the direction it had come from. The now visible garage building was barely large enough to house two trucks side by side, a rolling door dwarfed by the towers of old tires and empty chassis surrounding it. “Something cheap, reliable, old, and easy to fix.”

Blue Beetle continued to stare at the building, even as the rolling door eased itself to the side. The heavy steel slab grinded to the side on rusted wheels, only to clang open with the finality of an iron bell. A pair of ponies he swore he recognised exited the building.

Slowly the building behind the two started to melt away into grey mist as the two picked their way across the scrapyard, although only the brown maned unicorn whose horn seemed to scrape the sky from this angle was struggling to not lose his footing on the muddy ground. Blue Beetle could feel tears pooling at the the corner of his eyes as he watched his old owner struggle to not faceplant into the mud, bone white fur stained brown where it splattered against the parts of his fetlocks that the long canvas coat didn’t cover.

He could feel his breath picking up as memories sprang unbidden into his mind, the silhouettes of days long gone by playing against the grey mist; images of the times spent idling by the side of the road just waiting and watching, of mornings with the young monster learning magic by proxy, of driving away from the monsters and demons that sought to tear him and his master wheel from limb, of afternoons spent in the weak Chicago sun while his owner—stripped down to shirt sleeves—cleaned and polished and cared for him. Thoughts of every time he’d broken down only for his owner to have him fixed and made roadworthy again, to give him a purpose again, a purpose he was glad to fulfil no matter how much it took from him.

Wiping the tears from his eyes, Blue Beetle turned to look away from his owner, staring instead at the much shorter pegasus who had started talking again, this time without the need to breathe apparently. The dappled gray mechanic was almost flying through the dismal little yard, ignoring the frictionless mud underhoof.

“It’s a little bit further back but I should have something that fits all your needs.” Burnt umber eyes tracked the duo as they continued ever deeper into the metallic necropolis, both of them eventually coming to a halt in front of the midden of rust and that held his old body.

“Found this when I was looking for a couple of spare parts,” Mike placed a hoof against the hood of Blue Beetle’s old body before wiping it across, scraping away a thin trail of dirt and rust to reveal the mostly intact paint job. The baby blue paint cutting through the rust and grime made it look as if storm clouds had parted to show the summer sky. “Old Volkswagen Beetle, model ‘56 by the looks of it. The fact it's been at the base of the pile seems to have kept most of the weather off. The original upholstery and panneling’s been ruined, but the actual innards are still in good working order or easy enough to repair or replace.” Falling back to his hooves, Mike looked up at the tower of scrap that seemed to loom less and less with each passing moment. “Shouldn’t take too long to pull it out either.” The pegasus muttered to himself before turning to face Harry.

“You won’t look pretty, and you won’t be fast, but you’ll get to where you want to go with a minimum of fuss and if it breaks down I could fix it with my eyes closed and my hooves tied behind my back.” The pegasus finished as he started to hover besides the gaunt unicorn, pride and anticipation mixing on his face. Harry continued to stare at the metal carcass while rain fell across his back and dying metal groaned around him.

“Is that the original paint job?” The quiet voice cut through the groaning noise of the scrapyard around the two ponies. Mike paused for a moment before replying.

“As far as I can tell.”

“How much more to touch it up?”

Blue Beetle let the noises of the conversation drift away as he smiled, gazing at his old body. The sounds of the two pony's conversation fading away, before a new sound echoed out over the expanses of discarded machinery. The whinnying cries of a foal tugging his lips upwards as he muttered one of the few things he could halfway remember The Knight saying to himself, before he cradled his newborn self against his barrel; the dream fading away around him as he drifted into wakefulness.

“A time to die, and a time to be born.”

Something about the fractures in Blue Beetle’s mind had kept Luna from truly entering his dream, leaving her to watch as the strange images unfolded before her. Her inability to gain entry leaving her with only more questions.

Who were those ponies? Where was the location she had just seen? What kind of thing had her newest nephew been? What were those shadows she had seen surrounding him? Why had his dream seemed so unformed when even a foal could dream a world into existence?

Snorting in frustration, she didn’t bother trying to hold the dream together as Blue Beetle faded from her dreamscape. The moon called to her to be set, and she couldn’t leave Celestia to do the task alone.

Answers would have to wait.

CHAPTER END

Author's Note

Who Are Those Ponies?

Okay, so one of my pre-readers (who shall remain nameless to protect the innocent) suggested that people reading this might not have read the Dresden Files.

Firstly, do so. I’ll wait.

Secondly, if you still haven’t, you’re not missing out on too much knowledge. This story is technically set after Book 12 “Changes” and contains spoilers for the series as such, but these dream sequences are really going to be the only points where any prior knowledge is required.

Right, now that that’s sorted out. The unicorn is Harry Dresden, wizard, paranormal consultant, private investigator, and Blue Beetle’s old owner. The pegasus is Mechanic Mike Atagi, the mechanic Harry goes to because he’s cheap and he doesn’t ask questions like “How’d you get claw marks this big into the chassis work?”, "What on earth burned a hole through the hood?" or "How'd none of these bullets hit you? The entire driver's side is riddled".

There’s one more really important figure to come (alongside several less important ones), and I’ll leave you with the hint that his heart might’ve been hurt, but it was never broken.

Chapter 1 - I am Lazarus, Come Back From the Scrap Heap

Morning in Ponyville might have shimmered and shone, even more so with a true friend at her side, but to Twilight Sparkle, one newly ascended alicorn Princess, this afternoon could kiss her star-covered plot.

Overcast skies grumbled and growled as the rain started to come down in a graceless torrent, wild weather from the Everfree Forest rolling over the town in what was clearly a premeditated plan to ruin the one spot of free-time she had been able to find to spend a scheduled picnic with her friends. Now Rainbow had drafted herself into clearing the skies, and any offers she had made to help her other friends with their sudden onset of storm related chores had been swiftly rebuffed with the now usual “We’re sure a Princess has more important things to do than help us with these things”. Tartarus, Applejack hadn’t even let her clean up the remains of the picnic before she was trying to stop Twilight from “strainin’ her horn”.

Well, she did have something more important than helping her friends with their chores. Spending what little free time she could find with said friends, and if such a monumental task just happened to involve helping them with their chores then she would.

Now if only they would let her.

Scuffing her hooves along the ground she kicked at the loose gravel as if it was personally responsible for her malaise, her malcontent mental state not preparing her to perceive the precipitation passing her over, leaving a perplexing preterition around the purple pony Princess.

In fact she only noticed the lack of rain landing on her when the St Elmo’s fire started to crawl up her legs, and by that point it was too late for her to do anything but look up to the sky as the storm split open and a bolt of lightning bore down upon her with the full wrath of Nightmare Moon herself.

* * * * *

Twilight woke to the sensation of her ears twitching as they slowly attempted to rid themselves of whatever was buzzing around them. Her stiff body twitched erratically as she tried to get back to her hooves, but for some reason her limbs just wouldn’t obey her, her horn produced nothing but feeble sparks, she couldn’t blink the spots away from her eyes, and that damnable buzzing in her ears just wouldn’t disappear no matter how they fidgeted.

Overcome with a wave of exhaustion she just flopped back down to the ground, the now much lighter rain pattering off her soaked coat, her occasional twitches turning the ground underneath her to mud.

Somewhere in the back of her mind she thought of how powerful that bolt of lightning must have been if it was capable of knocking her out. Princess Celestia had taken her aside the night after her coronation and spent several hours going over just how much her new alicorn constitution could reasonably withstand, even using several of her own physical examinations, privately performed by the royal physicians of course, as an extreme baseline. Using the half-remembered numbers she set about trying to calculate the strength of the bolt, regularly testing to see if her legs could hold her weight yet.

It was only once the buzzing in her ears faded away and she could hear the sound of rain hitting the ground that she noticed she wasn’t alone. She could hear the sound of another pony’s laboured breathing, the soupy gurgle bringing back foalhood memories of Grandame Nebula as the old mare slept in her hospice bed, medical machines and IV drips doing what they could to make her last few days as gentle as possible.

Willing her still twitching body to twist and turn Twilight eventually managed to flip herself to the point where she could see the other pony sharing her mud pit.

She would later swear that she hadn’t screamed loud enough to be heard in Canterlot, despite a certain rainbow maned pegasus’s insistence. At that moment however Twilight forgot all the aches and pains as she catapulted herself away from the monstrosity that had been laying next to her.

It was a patchwork mockery of a pony; legs a different colour from each other attached to its body with wire and magic, prosthetic skin patches in varying states of disrepair covered its withers and flanks, impossibly shaped scar tissue wrapped around the thing’s chest and back twisting what little of its blue coat remained into a patchy, tufty mess that revealed more bare skin than it hid.

But the worst thing was its false horn. Dark, graven oak spiraled upwards from the thing’s forehead like a towering alter to the demons of Tartarus, while its roots sank into the flesh of the thing’s forehead, black wood merging with pale bone as blood dribbled from the open wounds and baleful runes glowed with the very fires of the underworld.

Two sets of thundering hooves dragged her from the panicked examination as she flopped away from the thing that was laid out before her.

“Twi, Twi are ya okay Sugarcube? We could hear yer screamin’ out in the west orchard.” Vaguely Twilight was aware of the voice of Applejack as the orange mare and her brother cantered round the bend in the road that separated her from Sweet Apple Acres, but her lungs wouldn’t co-operate as she tried to call back to them to run. The monster had stolen her breath, she couldn’t warn her friends away before the siblings caught sight of what was lying in the middle of the road and they would be stuck in its trap, just like she was.

“Oh mah Celestia,” the sounds of hooves clattering to a sudden stop told her it was too late. “Twi, what happened?” She couldn’t answer except for a choking sob, she had to get away, she had to get her friends away from this thing that shouldn’t be. Twitching, spasming hooves tried to push Applejack away, tried so hard to get her away from that awful gurgling breath, to push her to safety.

It didn’t work, the orange mare instead pulling her closer, crushing Twilight against her barrel. “Twi, Twi it’s alright Sugarcube, we’re gonna get ya to the hospital, you’re...” The buzzing in Twilight’s ears returned full force as her shuddering breath escaped her, squeezed out by the thing that was pretending to be her friend. Her vision dimming to black as she fought for a breath that just wouldn’t come.

* * * * *

Applejack charged through the hospital doors to find the waiting room already in an uproar. Doctors and nurses rushing about in a chaos as a pair of gurneys were wheeled into sight with a speed that would’ve impressed Rainbow had the pegasus not been laid out panting on a waiting room couch, eyes closed in exhaustion.

A stroke of luck had meant that the mare had also heard Twilight’s screams from where she had been wrangling the storm, arriving seconds after their friend had fainted. Before Applejack could even start to form an explanation for what she’d found Rainbow had already taken off, launching herself in the direction of Ponyville General and leaving the earth pony siblings to follow her fading contrail.

A swarm of doctors descended on Applejack, one of them levitating Twilight from her back while nurses coaxed the earth pony to the side, a similar, if smaller, process happening around Big Mac. The medical staff clucking around the big, earth pony stallion’s unconscious passenger while biting back their revulsion at the mystery stallion’s injuries.

Wordlessly she allowed the nurses to herd her to the same couch as Rainbow. Leaving Big Mac to speak with another doctor in the background, snippets of their conversation forming a patchy recollection of the last five minutes.

The adrenaline was fading now, and her hooves shook as she settled down on the lumpy hospital cushions. They were good enough for short visits, barely, but when she had to spend hours waiting on the blasted things it was all she could do to not storm the administration offices and wonder why they couldn’t spare the bits to buy something decent.

“Miss Applejack, may I have a moment of your time please?” She looked up at the voice to see the same doctor that had been talking with Mac, a clipboard and quill hovering in his aura.

“Sure, but Ah don’t know what ya’d need me for”

“I would like to know what happened from your point of view, Miss Applejack.”

“Wasn’t that why ya were talking to Mac?”

“Please, Miss Applejack,” The doctor sighed, and for a second the stallion looked far, far older than even Granny Smith, before continuing. “The newest Princess of Equestria is brought into this hospital, alongside a mystery stallion who has wounds of a severity that hasn’t been heard of for the last eight centuries. This has all the hallmarks of being another incident, we need to know all we can to avoid this blowing completely out of proportion, and I need to hand this information off to the Royal Physicians when they arrive, not to mention the Royal Guard if this is decided to be an assault, although I have no clue as to which of the two would press charges.” He finished almost vitriolically, before some sense of normality returned to him and his posture resumed the same professional stiffness. “Now, Miss Applejack, could you describe what happened in your own words?”

The request caused Applejack to twitch; she’d shrunk back against the cushions during his rant, her ears falling flat to her skull at the stallion’s bitterness. “Ah was... Ah was helping Mac check the west fields for any dead falls when that massive bolt of lightning hit. Didn’t pay it no mind ‘cause it looked like it had landed in the Everfree or near enough, and that forest likes to handle it’s own fires.” The mare paused, waiting for some sort of accepting nod or reaction, only to see the doctor staring at her, his quill scratching away. “A-Anyway, me an’ Mac went to check it out, but real slow, didn’t want to rush an’ miss something. We were on the edge of the fields when we heard Twilight screamin’.”

She paused again, her head falling down to point towards the tiles, her eyes darting from left to right before looking back at the doctor, tears beginning to build. “Can Ah not talk about this part? It don’t feel right.”

“I know this is difficult, Miss Applejack, but we need to know.”

“When, when the screamin’ started me an’ Mac hightailed it towards where we’d seen the lightning come down, thought she might’ve gotten hit and broken a leg or something. Instead she was like a fish that’d been out of the water too long, twitching everywhere, didn’t look like she could breath at all, it was almost as bad as she looked during that Smarty Pants incident. And that fellah, Ah don’t think Ah’ve seen anypony messed up that bad since Discord.”

“You don’t think either of them attacked each other?”

Green eyes narrowed as Applejack’s head snapped up to glare at the doctor. “Ah don’t think Ah like what yer saying there. Ah know Twilight well enough to know she wouldn’t ever knowingly hurt nopony, an’ Ah’m amazed that stallion’s still breathing. If he could actually move with those injuries, let alone try to hurt somepony, Ah’ll eat mah hat.”

“I’ll hold you to that AJ.”

Both ponies turned to look at a slightly opened ruby eye as Rainbow stifled a yawn.

“Ah thought you was asleep, Dash.”

“Nah, you know me, recovered from that little flight in ten seconds flat. I’m just saving my energy for when the rest of the girls get here, you know.” Her head flopped back onto the couch cushions with a jaw shattering yawn, before her eye started to fall shut again.

“Yeah, Ah get ya Dash, Ah’ll wake ya when they get here.” The suggestion of a nod that might’ve just been Rainbow burying her head into the cushion was the only answer Applejack got before she turned back to the doctor.

“Well, ya need anything else?”

“No, Miss Applejack, I’ll leave you and Miss Dash to rest.” The clipboard and quill following him through the air as he made to leave, before they paused next to his head. “For what it is worth, Miss Applejack, with the Everfree forest so close by, I don’t believe that there are any better medical staff in Equestria—outside of the Royal Physicians of course. I’m sure that Princess Twilight will be fine by tomorrow, and we will do our very best for our mystery guest as well.”

“Yer bedside manner stinks Doc,” Applejack settled herself into the cushions as best she could, odd lumps of stuffing poking her under the ribs despite her repeated shifting. “But thanks anyways.”

Chapter End