Pinkie's light blue eyes stared at Twilight's dark violet purple eyes. But not in a loving way. In a sympathetic, concerned way.
They were only inches away from each other, but Pinkie felt she was miles away from her marefriend.
Silence.
It was silent all day. To Pinkie, not hearing Twilight's beautiful, loving voice that can hypnotize her in an instant was like going to Tarturaus. Though, not hearing the voice that she loves so much isn't really a surprise to her anymore.
For years, Twilight hardly spoke at all. When she did, it was usually in a dead tone or in scared mumbles,
which would scare the party mare more than serenade.
She feared for Twilight, but she knew she need to be strong for the both of them.
In hesitation, Pinkie lifted her right hoof, placing it with one of Twilight's.
The alicorn's purple eyes moved slightly, a sign that actually showed the pink mare that she was actually alive.
"Twilight... Babe, don't beat yourself because of this," she told her.
An ear twitch. Another sign that she's alive and she can listen clearly. Though, she can tell that the ear twitch was because she called her 'Babe.'
And instead of blushing cutely like her adorkable marefriend, she looked uncomfortable like a stranger she saw before her.
No. Twilight was there. Still there.
She began to scoot closer towards the alicorn, keeping her grasp on Twilight's hoof firm, not tight.
Her marefriend didn't change expressions, nor did she move.
The two of them were so close to each other that the party mare could hear the fast heartbeat of her marefriend beating against her chest.
Though Twilight was giving Pinkie a blank stare, she could sense the fear, pain, and sadness in them. She knew the princess was overwhelmed with emotion.
She couldn't handle the blank stare anymore. She couldn't see her marefriend like this much longer.
Her breath was hitched in her throat. She didn't even know she was holding her breath.
In an instant, Pinkie moved forward and placed her lips softly on Twilight's.
She made sure the kiss was soft, yet she placed all of her love for Twilight in it. She closed her eyes, grasping the alicorn's hoof tightly.
She could feel the alicorn kissing back, which kinda made Pinkie happy, but she was kissing shyly.
She could feel the passion in it, she could feel the love, but it wasn't Twilight. It wasn't her Twilight.
She could even feel Twilight panting in between their kiss.
Then she heard a sound. A faint sound.
Whimpering. Twilight was whimpering.
Parting away from her, Pinkie hugged her tightly. She felt Twilight twitching, causing the pink mare to hug her tighter yet softly.
"...My fault... m~my fault..."
Pinkie felt a tear going down her cheak, but she brushed it off. She didn't want Twilight to see her crying. If she did, the alicorn would start crying, and seeing her marefriend cry is the worst thing ever to Pinkie Pie.
"No... Baby... don't think that," she whispered in her ear.
Twilight felt her supportive marefriend's warm breath on her ear, whispering words of comfort towards her.
She felt Pinkie Pie's body coming closer to her, hearing her words clearly since she was whispering.
This moment was confusing to Twilight, however. She didn't know how to feel. She didn't know if she was feeling pleasure or sadness.
It could be both.
She felt the bubbly mare kiss her on her neck, which she would usually giggle at, but instead, she started to shake.
The pink mare went closer towards Twilight's ear, her breath making the alicorn's body twitch.
"Shh, shh. I love you."
A whimper. Each "I love you" came a whimper. She tried her very best to calm Twilight down, but she was unsuccessful.
"... All my fault..."
Pinkie sighed against her marefriend's ear.
"No Love, please understand you were doing all you could do. Your best."
A whimper escaped Twilight's throat, causing Pinkie to brush her lips onto her's again. She didn't want Twilight to start crying. She couldn't see her in that state.
Again, the kiss was soft. She didn't want Twilight to twitch even more.
Once again, she felt the alicorn follow suit, but somehow, she could hear Twilight softly say, "M~my f~fault," the studder in her voice making Pinkie cringe.
She made the kiss deeper, only because she didn't want to hear the terrified voice from her marefriend.
She placed her hoof on Twilight's mane, brushing it with her hoof to comfort her. It's like saying, "I love you. Please don't cry."
Her warm mint like breath was inside Pinkie Pie's mouth, going through her throat, every time Twilight whimpered, every time she sighed in sadness, every time she was panting.
Pinkie had to hold in her breath every time she felt The Princess of Friendship panting. What didn't help was that she was panting faster every few minutes.
A sniffle. "...F~failed... I~I failed. F~f~failure," she said in between her paints.
"Twilight... you didn't fail. Everything is fine. Please... please calm down," she said.
Suddenly, she felt tears in her puffy mane. She was crying. Twilight was crying.
"M~my f~fault. I~I f~failed to protect you."
"That's not~"
"I~I f~failed to protect you, to protect Equestria, to protect Sp~Spike. M~My fault. My fault he's dead. "
She was there. She saw it happened. She tried preventing it from happening, and yet... she failed.
She failed everyone.
Parting away once more, Pinkie hugged her again, still feeling Twilight shake and twitch. She still heard the alicorn crying, and all she could do was hug her close.
She stayed like that until the princess eventually fell asleep.
The Element of Laughter raised up, still having Twilight in her hooves until she reached the bed.
She was careful to how she place the young princess, not wanting to feel Twilight twitch again.
Once she was on the bed, she picked up the blanket with her mouth, covering the magical being with it.
She looked at Twilight's sleeping face. It looked calm enough, but it still felt off to her.
Pinkie sighed. " I love you so much. I hope you feel better tomorrow, Twilight," she whispered. Hesitantly, she placed a soft kiss on her forehead, earning a slight whimper and a slight twitch.
Sighing again, she backed up a bit from the bed.
Before she could cry, a knock was on the door. Grunting, she walked towards the door and opened it, seeing her friends in the doorway. Rainbow was holding boxes of cider in her hooves.
"We... um... didn't interrupt anything, didn't we Darling?" Rarity asked, giving her pink friend a sympathetic look.
"No of course not. You guys can come in," Pinkie said, moving out the way so her friends can enter before closing the door.
"It looks like she's sleeping better. Did you give her the Pinkie Special?" Rainbow asked her friend with a smirk and a wink as she placed the box on the table.
Pinkie wish she could laugh at that. She, however, didn't.
"No. She cried herself to sleep and I can't even touch her without her trembling or panting," she said sighing.
Rainbow's smirk disappeared. "Oh. I'm... sorry about that Pinkie," Dash said in a regretful voice as the others nodded.
Pinkie shook her head. "Don't be. You didn't mean anything bad about it."
"True, but..."
"It's fine. I wish I could be able to give it to her though," she replied back with a weak smirk.
The cyan pegasus smirked back, though she still felt bad.
"At least she's not screaming in her sleep this time," Rainbow reassured her with a small smile.
"Yeah," she said with a slight nod.
"Hey, you want some Cider, Pinks?" Dash asks as Aj was serving them to the rest of her friends at the table.
The pink mare thought for a moment before nodding. As she walked towards the table, Applejack handed her a mug filled with Cider.
"Thanks Aj."
"No problem, Pinkie."
Finally sitting down with her friends, she began to drink some of her Cider, taking the occasional glance at Twilight.
"Are you okay, Pinkie?" Fluttershy asked quietly.
Taking a sip from her mug, Pinkie replied, "I'm fine. Twilight's not."
"You really love her don't you?" Rarity asked, her voice low, that sympathetic look never leaving her face.
"More than I even understand," Pinkie whispered, her light blue eyes downward.
Author's Note
I'm ganna end it here for now. :)
Sorry I haven't
updated my older stories. I haven't had any inspiration to finish them.
Like. Love. Hate. Flame. Criticize. ^^
But most likely give me constructive criticism. ^^
Author's Note
This was sitting in my files unfinished, so, I might as well publish it how it is.
Why Stay? (Draft)
Pinkie's eyes stared to flutter open, not seeing any light. It must've still been dark out. She tried raising up, but some kind of force prevented her to do so, making her plop back on the bed. She turned her head to the left slightly, seeing Twilight against her body.
Her hooves were wrapped around her waist, her chest against her back. When she plopped back on the bed, she felt Twilight squeeze tighter, her body getting closer to her.
She felt her warm, shaky breath on her neck, her chest going closer and closer against her body.
With a shaky breath, she said, "Please don't go... Please..."
Pinkie cringed at her marefriend's words and her breath against her neck. Her hooves tightened against her waist, panting loudly.
The alicorn's body twitched against her own, and she know she couldn't do anything about it. She couldn't touch her, she couldn't try to calm her down, she couldn't whisper to her. She could just lie there, and feel every breath, every whimper, every force against her body. She forced her body to show no reaction towards her marefriend's actions. It was hard, but not impossible.
Warm. Twilight's body was warm, and she couldn't move. She couldn't react.
"Don't go..." Twilight whispered sleepily. She pushed her body forward, her chest closer to the pink mare's back.
Pinkie bit her lip as she felt Twilight get closer.
"Don't leave me..."
Tears threatened to spill from her eyes, but she kept her emotions in.
"Without you... I'm nothing..." she said in a harsh whisper, wrapping her hind legs around her the pink mare's legs, her chest going upwards. She heard the alicorn moan as she was asleep, having a delusion that Pinkie can only imagine.
"Twi.."
"I love you, Pinkie..."
That's when the pink made broke down. While Twilight was having delusions and asleep, therefore she couldn't hear her, she was sobbing loudly, rubbing Twilight lovingly.
It felt like forever for Twilight to actually wake up. Though, when she did, she did it rather quietly. She didn't expect her shake her awake or anything, but she swore when she slipped from the embrace, it felt like a ghost. When she raised up however, she saw Twilight looking out the window.
It was dark out, despite it being 8:30 a.m. Fire reflected through her eyes, and she swore she felt like it was burning onto her skin.
Her gaze then went towards Twilight. She showed no reaction to what was in front of her, and to be honest, who would be after this long? Her ears twitched against the sound from outside, but she didn't show any emotion towards it. Pinkie even realized she didn't even blink, which kinda made her flinch, but to be honest, she have seen worse reactions from the broken alicorn.
Pinkie gulped quietly, feeling fear in her chest as she found her voice. "How are you feeling?" Pinkie asked in a quiet voice.
She saw the alicorn tense up slightly, which made her heart stop. She placed every strength in her body to not hug her.
Twilight was silent for a while before she whispered, "Worse."
The pink mare clenched her eyes shut, blocking the dead tone in her marefriend's voice. Every time she would hear it, she would block it with the alicon's normal caring, friendly, loving voice. A voice she would never hear again.
Her hoof went up to touch Twilight, but she stopped herself immediately. She felt her breath stuck in her throat, feeling overwhelmed by this. The alicorn's heartbeat pounded in Pinkie's ears, noticing that it started to quicken every few moments.
"Why?" She whispered tearfully.
"Why what?" the pink mare asked in a leveled voice, trying not to startle Twilight.
"Why... why are you still by my side... and I'm only hurting you?"
Her heart ached. Twilight was getting worse and she's not doing anything to help her. Twilight has been through Tartataus, she has seen things that would be in her head forever, she has lost someone important to her...
And she think it's her fault.
She couldn't hold it anymore. Going against her thoughts, she wrapped her hooves around Twilight and hugged her. Immediately, she felt twitching against her body and whimpers in her ears. She was trying to move from her grip, which made her heart ache even more, but she squeezed her tighter. An aura was around her, but she placed all of her Earth pony strength into the hug. The magic was burning her skin, but she kept her hooves around the alicorn.
"Le- Let g- go... Pl- please..." She begged her.
The other mare groaned softly under her breath due to her pain from the aura.
"N- no... Y- you shouldn't think I would ever leave you... especially if it's something that isn't your fault."
The aura began to disappear from Pinkie's body slowly, a sign that Twilight may have some faith. Maybe. Pinkie felt Twilight's breath on her neck, inhaling and exhaling slowly.
She felt Twilight's shoulders limp, her breathing slowing, but it sounded just as harsh as she was panting. They stayed like that for a while until Pinkie finally spoke. "C'mon Twi, let's go eat some breakfast, okay?"
Twilight mumbled against her neck.
"You need to eat, Twi."
A groan was her response.
Pinkie sighed sadly. She needed to eat. She's killing herself if she doesn't.
"Twi... Please... I... I don't want you to die..."
Twilight didn't respond.
Without thinking, she tightened her grip on the purple mare, causing the mare to let out a terrified shriek, causing the pink mare to loosen her grip.
"Sorry. I'm sorry. Are you okay?"
She nodded against her neck. Pinkie rubbed her back softly. "Let's eat Twilight. And we can talk if you want, okay?"
The alicorn mumbled before she whispered, "Okay."
Those eyes. Those violet, dead eyes. They were casted downward on the food in front of her, refusing to make eye contact with Pinkie Pie. She was eating slowly like she was unsure if she wanted to. Her breath was still hitched in her throat, panting slowly. The Earth pony couldn't help but stare at the alicorn with guilt, concern, and sadness. She could even see the fork that was in her aura shake as if someone was out to get her.
She was obviously afraid. Of what? She wasn't sure. Probably her own thoughts in her head.
She locked her baby blue eyes with the alicorn's purple ones, biting her lip as she tried to speak.
" What are you thinking about?"
Twilight bit the inside of her cheek, still avoiding her marefriend's concerned gaze. "Equestria, our friends, you, Spike..."
Pinkie nodded in understanding. "Do you want to talk about it?"
She didn't get a response.
"You don't have to if you don't want to. This isn't about me or anypony else. This is about you and only you. It's okay if you don't want to," she reassured with in a soft voice, flashing her marefriend with a soft smile.
She tried to make her feel loved. Feel welcomed. Feel safe.
