💯Words Or Less

by PropMaster

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Starlight Glimmer
Length: 2743

Starlight Glimmer wakes up to a town filled with nonsense. She has to get to the bottom of everypony's sudden bizarre, colorful aphasia.

Starlight Glimmer wakes up to a town filled with nonsense-speaking ponies. She has to get to the bottom of everypony's sudden bizarre, colorful aphasia.

I have no regrets!

Published 2017-05-30 22:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-05-30 22:00:01 UTC

🦄⭐️💡🌟

Author's Note

This is best viewed on Firefox if you are not using Windows 10. If you are using Windows 10, Chrome will support the emojis properly.

🦄⭐️💡🌟

Starlight awoke to the sound of clattering hooves and muffled shouting. She groaned, blinking blearily and stretching before rolling out of bed. Her hooves hit the floor with a muffled thump, and she shook her head. She could tell that today was going to be an interesting one, judging by the sounds coming from below her in Twilight's castle, and she sighed. Coffee sounded incredible to Starlight, and she intended to go downstairs and make some. Then, and only then, would she face whatever this newest crisis undoubtedly was.

Spike burst into Starlight's room unannounced, his eyes wide, and Starlight jumped, startled by the intrusion. "Spike! Wh—"

"🦄⭐️💡🌟! 😨😥!👎👄🙅‍♂️!" Spike said, rushing to grab her by the hoof and looking up at her anxiously.

Starlight blinked. "... No. Too early. Need coffee."

Spike blinked, staring at her, and then blurted, "☕️!? 🦄⭐️💡🌟, 😤 👎⏰☕️!!!"

Starlight ignored the nonsense Spike was blurting, trying not to think too hard about how she could literally see shapes as he spoke, and she shook him off her hoof and trotted out her door and downstairs. All around her was pandemonium, with royal guards rushing to and fro, and ponies like Mayor Mare and her staff clattering through the halls. Whatever going on was obviously a crisis of some magnitude for the mayor of Ponyville to be here, but Starlight's focus was on the coffee she was about to make. Everything else could wait. She could hear, and oddly see, frantic shouted nonsense as ponies ran past one-another. A royal guard bumped into her in his haste to go somewhere, and he stopped, wincing. "😳😦, 🦄⭐️💡🌟."

"Yeah, no problem," Starlight grumbled, getting the gist of his apology from his expression and tone. He blinked, looking surprised, but Starlight ignored him, heading past him and into the kitchen. She froze when she arrived in the kitchen, blinking. Trixie was there already, and she smirked at Starlight as she sipped at a mug of coffee.

"Trixie!" Starlight said, smiling, "Boy, am I glad to see you!"

Trixie, upon hearing Starlight, leapt up, and she waved her hooves in Starlight's face, stopping her from speaking. "🦄⭐️💡🌟! 🖐!"

Starlight halted, blinking. "I can't—"

Trixie actually clapped her hooves over Starlight's mouth, making her stop speaking. "🦄⭐️💡🌟, 🖐👄&👂! 🕊🦄🌙☀️✨ 🤐 👈 🗣 🏃 👁 👩!"

Starlight stared at the symbols spewing out of Trixie's mouth, trying to understand. She shook her head slowly. Trixie sighed, and spoke again, going more slowly. "🕊🦄🌙☀️✨. 🗣👈. 🦄⭐️💡🌟."

Starlight focused this time. "Twilight—"

Trixie waved her hooves frantically again. "💢😠! 🖐👄!!!"

Starlight frowned, and she nodded. Twilight would know what to do, obviously. Trixie had made herself clear...ish. Something was obviously wrong, and Twilight had answers, and there was something about her speaking that was a problem. She realized she'd have to be careful. She smiled at Trixie, and pointed to the coffee. Trixie blinked, glancing over her shoulder to the mug of coffee. "☕️? 🦄⭐️💡🌟 ☕️ ⏰ 😕?"

Starlight nodded, and Trixie rolled her eyes. "👌 🦄⭐️💡. ☕️." She grabbed a clean mug and poured Starlight a fresh cup of coffee from the carafe.

Starlight sighed happily as she took the mug and drank a long, slow sip of the delicious brew. She immediately felt better. "Thanks."

Trixie gasped, staring at her angrily. "😡💢👎👄!"

Starlight winced and finished her coffee, and gave Trixie an awkward grin. Trixie sighed and motioned for her to leave. "🖖, 🦄⭐️💡."

Starlight waved and trotted for the door. As she left, she glanced back, and tried to express her worry without any words, hoping her expression conveyed her feeling. Trixie glanced up from where she was sitting, staring into her coffee mug, and she smiled wistfully when she saw Starlight's expression. "🦄🕺&🔅 🔮🎆 👌. 👈 👁 🕊🦄🌙☀️✨."

Starlight felt a little better, even if she didn't really understand her friends' words, but her gentle tone and soft expression spoke volumes. She trotted through the palace, heading for the Map Room. Twilight would undoubtedly be there.

The Map Room was utter pandemonium. Twilight Sparkle was there, along with Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash. That wasn't entirely unexpected. What was unexpected was that Princess Celestia and Luna were there as well. Starlight slid to a stop as she entered the room, her eyes wide. Twilight was the first to spot her, and she gasped, and then waved her hooves. "🦄⭐️💡🌟! 👍😃!" she blurted.

Starlight held up a hoof, waving uncertainly, and she put both of her front hooves over her mouth. She knew better than to answer, by this point. Princess Celestia glanced at Twilight and then turned her attention to Starlight. "🦄⭐️💡🌟, 👎👄?"

Starlight focused on the symbols that came out of Celestia's regal mouth, and she nodded, hoping she understood. Twilight grinned, clapping her hooves together excitedly. "👁? 🤔 🦄⭐️💡 👍 👄. 🕊🐴🦋😳?"

Fluttershy perked up, staring at Twilight. "N-now?"

Twilight nodded to her, gesturing to Starlight Glimmer. Starlight smiled as she realized that whatever was effecting the others hadn't apparently spread to Fluttershy. "Fluttershy, what—"

"No! Don't speak!" Fluttershy nearly shouted, interrupting Starlight. She gasped, clapping her hooves over her mouth. "I'm sorry!"

"😤, 🕊🐴🦋😳." Rainbow Dash said, rolling her eyes.

Pinkie Pie just looked amused, giggling to herself and beaming around as she observed the symbols spewing out of ponies' mouths. "👌,🕊🐴🦋😳! 🙊,🙉! 😆😂!"

Twilight sighed and patted Fluttershy on the shoulder reassuringly. "🕊🐴🦋😳, 👌. 👄 🦄⭐️💡🌟, 👍?"

Fluttershy nodded, shakily exhaling, and she straightened up, looking at Starlight and gesturing for her to come closer. Starlight stepped forward, knowing that whatever Fluttershy had to say was important. Fluttershy cleared her throat nervously, and she spoke. "Starlight, somepony cursed Equestria. We think Discord is responsible, but he says he wasn't." Fluttershy swallowed, "Magic spells don't work, because the words don't work. Only ponies who have words left can use magic that needs words."

Starlight gasped, glancing at Celestia, Luna, and Twilight. All three of the nodded, but Celestia held up a hoof. "🕊🦄👑🌙, 🕊🦄👑☀️ 👍 🌙☀️. 👁?"

Celestia gestured towards the nearest window, and her horn glowed with magic. The sun shivered in the sky and moved. Starlight let out a sigh of relief. "Intrinsic magic works, then?"

Fluttershy stomped a hoof angrily. "Starlight! You're the only one left who is strong enough to find a spell that might stop it, but you only have limited words!"

Starlight's eyes widened, as she understood the magnitude of the issue. How many words had she said that day? Had she been talking in her sleep? How many words did she have left? How many words might the spell need? Starlight swallowed, and opened her mouth to ask the most important question, but Fluttershy held up a hoof, stopping her. "I already know what you're going to ask. The answer is..." Fluttershy coughed. Starlight's eyes widened. Was that it? Had Fluttershy run out of words, too?

Fluttershy blushed. "S-sorry. The answer is 💯."

Starlight blinked. "What?"

Fluttershy slapped her hooves over her mouth, her eyes wide. Everypony sighed, and Twilight spoke again, trying to be clear. "💯."

"One hundred?" Starlight asked. It was important she knew. Clarity was paramount.

Twilight nodded frantically, and Starlight nodded, understanding. She looked around at everypony, and they stared at her evenly, expressions grave. Only Pinkie Pie seemed unconcerned, bouncing in her seat. "😆😂! 💯!"

Fluttershy's lower lip trembled slightly. "😭, 🐴."

Rarity smiled, trotting over to her friend and gently pulling her into a hug. "👌,🕊🐴🦋😳."

Fluttershy buried her muzzle in Rarity's chest. "😓. 🤝, 🦄💎."

Rainbow Dash smirked at Fluttershy, flying over and patting her on the shoulder. "🤙! 😄🥇, 🕊🐴🦋😳!"

Fluttershy smiled gratefully up at Rainbow Dash, nodding. "🤝, 🕊🐴🌈🏃."

Applejack chimed in with a wink, "🤠🍎!"

Fluttershy giggled, and Applejack frowned, blinking down at her muzzle like she was insulted. "🍎? 🍎🍎🍎!" She scowled, "🤠🍎, 🍎🍎, 🍎🤠🍎🍎?!"

Pinkie Pie cracked up, her hoof pounding on the table as she rolled with laughter in her seat. "😆! 🐴🍎 🍎! 😝🤠"

Twilight stood up, trotting over to Starlight, and she asked, "🤔 🗣 📆. 🗣💯, 🦄⭐️💡?"

Starlight thought back through her day, trying to remember. She sighed, shaking her head. If she had to guess, she'd probably spoken about twenty-five words so far. One quarter of the words she had left were already gone, and she didn't know how many she would need to use to speak a powerful spell. All of the strongest spells in Equestria required spoken words, unless you were an alicorn or a magical prodigy, but even then there were some types of spells that required a verbal component no matter how powerful you were. Starlight guessed that Twilight, Celestia, and Luna had already attempted to break the spell, but to no avail. She blinked, realizing she should try something, and with a bit of concentration and a flash of her magic, she summoned a quill and scroll. She wrote on the scroll I think I've only said twenty five words, and she held it up to Twilight, only then catching Twilight's horrified expression and reaching hoof. Twilight shouted, "🦄⭐️💡! 🖐✏️! ✏️&🗣💯!"

Starlight blinked and looked down at the scroll, suddenly understanding her error. She grit her teeth. "Shit."

Twilight's wings snapped open and she glared at Starlight. "🦄⭐️💡🌟!!!!"

Starlight shrugged. That one had been worth it.

🗣💯!

Starlight Glimmer and Twilight Sparkle sat quietly together, both of their heads down as they read through spell book after spell book in the library in Twilight's castle. Starlight had chosen to focus on the strongest counter-curse spells she could find, and so far had no luck with anything that seemed viable. Twilight had been pouring over tomes, pushing over spells as she found them for Starlight to consider, but they'd both agreed that nothing they had seen thus far was going to work. Starlight sighed, looking up from the latest tome and shaking her head slowly. She looked at Twilight and shrugged.

Twilight nodded, setting aside a book of spells. "🦄⭐️💡, 😵 🤤 📖?"

Starlight grunted, yawning, "Yeah, I—"

Twilight stared at her as Starlight's eyes widened as she slapped her hooves over her mouth. Twilight shook her head and smacked Starlight on the back of the head gently with one wing, and rolled her eyes. "🦄⭐️💡!"

Starlight rubbed the back of her head, looking sheepish. She looked wistfully over at the empty cup on her desk. Twilight followed her glance and smiled. "🐲!"

Spike peeked over a stack of books he'd been sorting through, smiling, "🕊🦄🌙☀️✨?"

Twilight gestured towards Starlight's empty cup. "🐲, 🦄⭐️💡 ☕️."

Spike nodded, grabbing Starlight's mug off of her desk and scampered away. "☕️, ✔️!"

Starlight leaned back in her chair, rubbing at her eyes. They'd been at this for hours. Princess Celestia and Luna had been in and out of the castle, bringing them spell books from the Canterlot Archive. Twilight had managed to explain that they'd sent word to Princess Cadance that they were seeking a spell to break the curse. Cadance had responded with a pictograph-filled letter an hour ago, which told Starlight that this curse had effected the Crystal Empire as well. She wondered, idly, if their little pictographic speech was sparkly like they were. She giggled, which brought a raised eyebrow from Twilight. "😄?"

Starlight shook her head, rolling her eyes as she leaned forward, peering at the spell book again. Spike returned from the kitchen with a fresh mug of coffee. "🦄⭐️💡🌟, ☕️!" he chirped, placing it in front of her with a smile.

Starlight returned his smile and gripped the mug in both hooves, taking a slow sip of the dark brew. She sighed as she felt her senses realign, and she almost felt normal. Despite the weirdness of the day thus far, she'd actually been having a decent time. If she concentrated, she felt like she was starting to get the hang of understanding the rest of the ponies and their colorful new way of speaking. It was still annoying as Tartarus, but she was managing.

There was a clatter of hooves outside the library, and the double doors into the room were swung open. Shining Armor and Princess Cadance trotted in, flanked by a half-dozen crystal pony guards carrying boxes of books. Cadance smiled, "🕊🦄🌙☀️✨!"

Twilight gasped, jumping up, "🕊🦄👑💘💙!"

They both grinned, and proceeded to dance at one another, chanting as they danced, "☀️, ☀️, 🐞 ⏰! 👏👏🐴, & 🕺!"

Starlight giggled. That was pretty adorable. And the song still made sense! Sort of. Cadance and Twilight hugged, and Shining Armor stepped in right afterwords, hugging his little sister. "🕊🦄🌙☀️✨!"

"🦄✨🤺! 😄!" Twilight said, hugging her brother.

"🤔👓📖? 💡?" Shining Armor asked, looking around at all the books piled around Twilight and Starlight.

Twilight shook her head. "😟."

Cadance, meanwhile, turned and smiled at Starlight. "🦄⭐️💡🌟! 😄!"

Starlight smiled and waved. Cadance giggled, patting her gently on the shoulder. "👌?"

Starlight nodded, and gestured to the books that Cadance's guards had brought with them. Cadance turned, smiling, and pointed to the desks. "👉 📦📖👇."

The guards saluted and dropped off the boxes. Cadance gestured to one guard, who approached nervously. She pointed to Starlight Glimmer, smiling at the guard. The guard seemed to understand, and he swallowed, licking his lips. "P-princess Cadance had me save my words, to tell you how much it means to all of us that you're trying to break the curse. Thank you very 💯."

Starlight looked startled as the dreaded one-hundredth word spilled from the guard's lips, and he let out a sigh. "😖."

Cadance gave him a gentle pat on the shoulder. "✔️👌👍."

The guard smiled, "👍, 🕊🦄👑💘💙."

Starlight dug into the new stack of books alongside Twilight, and Cadance joined them. Shining Armor and Spike sat down a little ways away, chatting with each other quietly, symbols spilling from their mouths as they spoke. Starlight felt a little nervous. There were so many ponies expecting her to perform, and she felt like she had a decent chance of getting things right... if she had enough words left. By her estimate, she had about sixty five words to go before she ran out, so the spell that she needed would have to be right at 60, or a little below.

It took another hour of reading, but suddenly Cadance leapt up and pulled a spell book onto Starlight's table. "🦄⭐️💡🌟! 👓📖!"

Starlight jumped slightly as Cadance slammed the book down on her table, startling her out of her reverie. "Woah!"

Cadance froze, staring at her. She bit her lip, embarassed at startling a word out of Starlight. "😟."

Starlight shook her head, sighing, and looked down at the spell in the book. She read the description carefully, nodding slowly, and her eyes widened as she read. This could be it! She clapped her hooves, waving Twilight over. Twilight leaned over Starlight, peering at the spell, and she started to tap the words of the incantation. Starlight counted along carefully. They got to the end of the spell and counted again. All three of them counted, carefully. Sixty words.

Exactly sixty words.

Starlight frowned, reading the spell again and again. She stood up, slowly. Cadance and Twilight took a few steps back, looking at her with expectant smiles. Starlight exhaled, placing the book in front of herself, and began to channel magic into her horn, building the charge needed for the spell. She smirked at Twilight, trying to feel confident, and then she began to speak.

"Though tongues shall spill out glyphs of shame,
the world will never be the same,
with letters true and tongues unbound,
I speak the truth, restoring sound,
The glyphs will fall, changing the place,
where magic writes out friendship's fate,
The end of words,
With pictures new,
My magic powers,
The glyphs undo,
And words will come
Now unto y💯!"

Starlight's eyes widened in surprise as the end of her last word was cut off by a blurted, bright red pictogram. Twilight's jaw dropped open, and she gasped, "💯!?"

Starlight squeezed her eyes closed, and her ears went flat. "💩!!!!"

Author's Note

Count the words. Before the spell, she was at 40.5. Yes, .5! Read the first thing she says in chapter one.

I have no regrets.