Covfefe

by MythrilMoth

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Principal Celestia, Main 7 (EqG), Vice-Principal Luna, Equestria Girls
Length: 945

Everyone at Canterlot High covfefe

Everyone at Canterlot High covfefe

(I apologize for nothing. Blame Twitter.)

Published 2017-05-31 13:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2017-05-31 13:40:02 UTC

Covfefe

Vice-Principal Luna slouched into the faculty room at Canterlot High on a muggy Wednesday morning, bags under her bloodshot eyes. "Covfefe?" she mumbled blearily.

Miss Cheerilee blinked at her, then pointed at a half-full pot of murky black nirvana. Luna muttered something, then poured herself a cup and drained it in one swallow. "Gah."

"You alright?" Miss Cheerilee asked.

"I was up all night..." Luna yawned. "Team...battle. Got heavy, had to lay down covfefe." She yawned again, then poured and drained another cup.

"Uh-huh," Miss Cheerilee said, blinking slowly. "Well listen, Miss Harshwhinny called in sick this morning and none of the usual substitutes are available—"

Luna waved her off. "I'll covfefe."

"Okay then," Miss Cheerilee said as Luna walked over to Miss Harshwhinny's desk, grabbed the handful of lesson plans and the roll book stacked neatly there, and shuffled out of the room.

* * * * *

"Were you up all night studying?" Sunset Shimmer asked Twilight Sparkle as they sat down in first period. Twilight's eyes were tight and puffy, her hair was a mess, and her glasses were askew.

"I have an important..." Twilight yawned. "Test in AP Calculus today. I wanted to make sure I have everything covfefe."

Sunset blinked. "Okay." She frowned. "But...will you be awake enough for the test?"

"Sure, I'll—" Twilight fell asleep, faceplanting on her desk.

Vice-Principal Luna walked in, looking about as run-down as Twilight. "Miss Harshwhinny's out, I'm covfefe—"

That was as far as she got before she fell asleep at Miss Harshwhinny's desk. Everyone looked at each other, shrugged, and went about the business of texting, playing mobile games, or doing unfinished homework for other classes.

* * * * *

Cloud Chaser and Cloudy Kicks bore down on Rainbow Dash as she dribbled down the court. None of her teammates were anywhere nearby to bail her out, and she couldn't break free. "Hey! Thunderlane! Covfefe!" But it was too late. The ball was stripped, and Rainbow Dash chased the twins up the court, trying in vain to prevent them from scoring the winning hoop.

* * * * *

Principal Celestia blinked as Luna walked into her office at the end of lunch with a giant cup in one hand. "Umm...haven't you had enough already?" she asked.

Luna took a long, noisy slurp. "Covfefe," she mumbled. She paused, then set her cup down. "Bathroom." With a pained look on her face, she turned and ran from the room.

Celestia shook her head and went back to her paperwork.

* * * * *

Fluttershy blinked at Micro Chips, who stood in front of her desk before the last class of the day, looking awkward and nervous as he held a patterned red box with a gold ribbon around it out to her. "Umm...what's this?" she asked.

"Chocacovfefe cherr—" Micro Chips coughed. "Umm, cherries. For you. Because you're sweet. Like cherries. But not covfefe chocolate, I mean, unless you wanted to be..." His eyes widened as he realized what he'd just said, and he dropped the box and skittered away.

"Oh my," Fluttershy said quietly, blinking. She quietly slipped the box into her backpack. After all, they'd go well with her daily ice cream sundae.

* * * * *

Sunset and her friends gathered by the remains of the horse statue after school. "Wmm go Sgr Cb Covfefe?" Pinkie Pie asked through a thick wad of bubble gum.

"Pinkie Pie, what's up with the gum?" Sunset asked. "That's like, a disgustingly huge amount of gum you're chewing."

Pinkie chewed noisily for a minute, then tilted her head back and blew an enormous bubble. The other girls stepped away nervously, except for Rarity, who was too busy polishing her nails to notice the impending doom.

The girls had almost gotten clear of the splatter zone when the bubble popped.

"EWW! PINKIE!" Rainbow yelled.

Rarity shrieked, holding up a now-ruined hand. Her shriek, and following exclamation, were muffled by the pink shroud draped over her face. "I'M COVFEFE BUBBLE GUM!"

"Yes! New record!" Pinkie exclaimed, giggling happily as she jumped up and down.

Her friends all shot her cross looks. "How come none of it got on you?" Twilight asked, grimacing in disgust as she flung long, sticky pink strands from her fingertips.

"Eh, it's a gift," Pinkie said, buffing her nails on her chest.

* * * * *

Twilight Sparkle yawned sleepily as she sat at the living room table doing her homework. Her parents were in the kitchen, going on and on about a minor car accident her dad had earlier in the evening.

"Don't worry about it, hon," Night Light said. "We're covfefe."

"Yes, but what about the premiums?"

Night Light sighed. "We'll worry about that later." He rubbed his eyes tiredly. "Any covfefe?"

"Now, dear, you know what the doctor said about caffeine before bed..."

Twilight's eyes drifted closed as her head slumped over on the table. Within minutes, her tablet was covfefe in drool.

* * * * *

Sunset Shimmer leaned back in the bath, letting out a sigh as she let the warm, bubbly water covfefe her body. It had been a long, tiring day. Between Twilight's dozing off all day, the oppressive humidity, and spending an hour washing Pinkie Pie's bubble gum out of her hair, all she wanted to do was relax in the bath for a while, then go to bed.

The short, alarmed message she'd gotten from Princess Twilight shortly after she got home hadn't helped matters.

Dear Sunset Shimmer,

I think something's wrong with the portal. It stopped working all of a sudden this afternoon and the mirror's covfefe