I stood outside the convention center, more than a little awed at its size as well as the amount of people that milled about in various costumes. Every-so-often someone would compliment on mine, or stop to take a picture. Not a picture with me, just a picture. At the moment I was too lost in my awe. I heard thunder overhead and looked up to see dark clouds rolling in. Hmmmm, rain. Joy....

I'd saved quite a bit to come here. I always wanted to go to a con. Though it was a little daunting. Why hadn't I gone with friends again? Oh right, they all lived in other states or countries. Curse you online friend community!

I heard thunder again, and sighed. My sigh was distorted by my helm. The costume I'd decided to come here with was one I'd fabricated myself over several months. It could actually serve as legitimate armor if I needed it to.

I'd made the armor of the Lich King from Warcraft. However, I was not content with just the Lich King. No, I made the Lich King into a Terminator from 40k. And not just any Terminator, but Typhus Herald of Nurgle. More-so, I'd fabricated the armor to look like it was composed of bone (even the Helm of Domination). If that wasn't enough, I'd etched runes into the gauntlets, greaves, and chest plate, that I'd lit with internal LEDs. Said LEDs also lit the eye lenses in the Helm of Domination. Hell, I'd even made the armor to-scale, with built in servos to assist movement, and added a fan in the backpack generator so I wouldn't get hot. I wasn't just the Lich King.

I was Plague Lord Menethil of the Revenants Legion.

That thought alone filled me with Determination.

"Wow... you're a big one, aren't you?" A young girl's voice made me jump. Said voice giggled when I did.

I looked down to my right to see Tanya from The Saga of Tanya the Evil. The costume was frighteningly accurate and I was quite happy that she didn't have a gun at that moment. "Hello there little one, you scared me." I looked around. "Are your parents around somewhere?"

A smile that didn't reach her eyes, and not bearing a single positive emotion, split her face.

"Call me little one again..." She said icily, and with enough venom to make me shiver within my costume. "See what happens... I'll peel open your armor to get at the gooey bits inside."

I reflexively took a step back. My mind may have been running on instant fear-mode, but I swear the world grew darker around her.

"Tanya!" A man's voice, distorted the same way mine was by the speaker I'd put in the helm's grill, pulled my attention away from the demon-child. A Space Marine came pounding up, panting a little, from the parking lot. "Did you have to run off like tha-" His attention turned from Tanya to me. "Oh no... Hon, are you scaring people again?"

"Maybe." Tanya gave the Space Marine the creepiest faux-innocent grin I've even seen.

"Yes..." I responded almost on reflex.

"Sorry about her." The Space Marine shook his head. He was the same height as me, thanks to his armor. His was Mk7 Pattern. The main color was jet black and patterned like scales. The pauldrons were bright red and trimmed in in silver, with bronze iconography. His left pauldron bore the image of a crescent moon within a sun surrounded by an ouroboros. He'd made his right arm into a rather impressive Power Fist and He had a clearly custom-built Plasma pistol holstered at his waist. However, the most notable thing about the armor was the massive Jump Pack strapped to his back. He held out his left hand. "Impressive armor for a Heretic." His deep voice rumbled a chunkle. "Brother Astelan of the Serpents of the Eclipse."

I took his hand and shook it. "Menethil, Plague Lord of the Revenants."

"God, you two are made for each other." I heard Tanya groan. Looking down I saw she was rolling her eyes with her arms over her chest.

"Who's this? Your dau-" I got cut off.

"Don't say daughter!" Astelan interrupted me. "She is self-conscious about her appearance. This is Tanya by the way, my girlfriend."

"Wait, she's really named Tanya?" His words registered. "Wait- Girlfriend? Is that legal?"

"I'm twenty-eight and if you make a crack about my size one more time, you'll be shitting your teeth for a month." Tanya gave me that creepy smile again.

I reflexively took another step away from her. "Christ, there's tsundere, then there's this. I'm pretty sure Napoleon has a Tanya Complex."

"Yeah.... she's got a rare disease." Astelan explained with a sigh. "Almost unique in fact."

"I'm not expected to live past thirty-five." Tanya grinned.

I get it! You're creepy! You've won! You can stop anytime!

"Holy... wow..." I breathed. "How did you two..."

"We met at a con. I made the same mistake you did and she beat the shit out of me." Astelan chuckled. "She destroyed my costume."

"Guy has such low self-esteem that he asked me to coffee." Tanya giggled. "He's got a loli fetish. I roleplay terrible, terrible things for him."

I blinked. "Is this real life? Are you two fucking with me? Because this can't be real."

"It's real sunshine." Tanya leaned closer to me and I reflexively leaned away.

"We have.... a weird relationship." Astelan said a little weakly.

"No no no... you have a relationship with another guy. Name's Shit Sherlock, first name, No." I said flatly.

"Ah Ha!" Tanya barked a laugh. Astelan laughed somewhat quietly.

"So Bitch King, what're you doing out here?" Tanya asked leaning against Astelan's leg and hugging it.

"Ummm, first time to a con..." I said slowly, very wary of the small terror.

"No shit?" She giggled. "Hell of a one to start with! Well stick with us. It's no fun going alone. Also, you've survived five minutes with me without running screaming or calling the police, you are now my friend."

"Do I have a say in this?" I asked, quirking a brow within my helm.

"No. No you do not. Now gimme your phone so I can give you our contact information." Tanya held out her hand.

This was probably a bad idea, but I pulled my phone out of a belt pouch. Tanya snatched it, swiftly entered the info, snapped a picture of her, then snapped a picture of Astelan, and entered some more info, nodded, and finally tossed me my phone. Literally. She threw my phone at me. "Let's do this!" She spun on her heel and began almost prancing towards the entrance to the con.

"Wow, is she always like this?" I couldn't help but ask.

"No, she's just in a good mood." Astelan chuckles. I could hear a tint of sadness behind it however. "Not every day is like this. I prefer this abrasiveness over depression any day." He sighed. "But... she grows on you."

"Like cancer!" Both of us looked up to see Tanya grinning madly at us not six feet away. "Come on, you don't want it to rain on us do you?"

I shook my head, still feeling a bit of disbelief, and joined Astelan in following the strange small woman.

Inside, after showing our tickets, the con was packed. After what felt like hours of pictures with over excited fans of our costumes, we finally got to wander the con floor. It must have been a sight. A little girl, flanked by two giant Space Marines easily double her size if not more. We browsed various booths, checking out collectible models, replicas, clothing and other such things.

As we came to a booth selling very detailed statuettes, Astelan spoke up. "So Menethil, what inspired your armor?"

"Warcraft and 40k duh." Tanya commented blandly as she narrowed he eyes at a model of Ruby from RWBY.

"Well those yes," I chuckled, "but specifically Arthas, the Lich King, Typhus, Herald of Nurgle, and the Dragonbone Armor from Skyrim, and some Chaos Runes from 40k." I gestured to the runes on my gauntlet.

"So you're bamf Arthas, plus a Chaos Lord of Nurgle, plus a Chaos Sorcerer, plus the Dragonborn?" Tanya raised a brow. "Ever heard of overkill?"

"No such thing." Astelan chucked.

"If it's worth killing, it's worth overkilling." I pointed at her. "How can you check for a pulse if it doesn't have a heart left?"

"I like your costume." The voice made me jump.

"Gah!" I jumped. looking to my left, I saw the attendant of the booth. She just so happened to be a carbon copy of Mei from overwatch, complete with her ice-gun. "You scared the hell out of me!"

"Sorry..." Mei said looking sheepish.

D'awwww! That's cute.

Tanya on the other hand, was laughing at me. So was Astelan.

Thanks you two, real nice.

"It's okay. Your costume is amazing by the way, you look just like Mei." I gestured at all of her. Then I turned towards my two companions. "Oh, and Tanya? No, I'm not an Chaos Sorcerer, Warp powers would just give me a headache. The runes just buff the armor and make other casting easier. Also, I'm not the Dragonborn, someone else can have the Thu'um, like Astelan." I gestured at the Marine, who stopped laughing abruptly. "He would make better use of The Voice than I would."

"Oh, Ummm, I guess I would?" Astelan said quietly, yet thanks to his helmet his voice was quite audible.

"I'm sorry, but I can't help noticing, you two are missing something." Mei's voice made me turned back to the attendant. When she saw I was looking she gestured to Tanya and me.

"You're missing some weaponry." She gestured with her own gun.

"Yeah, what's the Bitch King without Frostmourne?" Tanya giggled and poked my armored leg.

"What's Tanya without a gun?" I commented dryly, looking down at her. She scowled at me.

"You win this round..." She said begrudgingly before looking at Mei. "Hey, chilly Devil incarnate, know anybody that has what we're looking for?"

"Oh yes!" Mei nodded eagerly. "There's a guy who only got permission to put up a booth like a week ago. You can't miss it, it's the one like a giant tent." She pointed further down the con. "He's that way."

"Why thank you, Mei." I nodded at her. "Sorry for not buying anything."

"Oh, that's fine." She smiled. "Enjoy the convention."

"You too." I turned towards my companions. "Shall we?" Astelan nodded and Tanya just shrugged. I led them onto the con floor proper.

It was a bit of a fight forcing my way through the sea that was the con floor, and after ten or so minutes of moving maybe six feet, I was bored. "So.... Astelan." I spoke up. Well, it was more of a yell due to the noise of the crowd. My companion perked up and looked over at me. Tanya had climbed up her giant of a boyfriend to sit in the gap between his helmet and jump pack. She looked even more bored than me. "What's the story behind your Chapter?"

"Oh... Well, It's one I've actually used in tournament play. It's a Chapter spawned from the Salamanders. They work closely with both the Ordo Malleus and the Ordo Hereticus. They're similar to the Black Templars... Only with less witch and psyker hatred. Somehow more Deus Vult though. And a snake theme. Because I like snakes." He chuckled.

"Awesome." I nodded at the Marine. I could tell he likes talking about it. It seemed that, like me, he came out of his shell when he got to talking about things he loves.

"It's okay Hon. You'll retake Jerusalem someday." Tanya said with a giggle (and the first evidence of an emotion besides snark or aggression.). She patted Astelan's leg.

I smiled inside my helmet at the cute couple. Though a thought came to mind when I looked at Tanya. "Eh hem... Tanya?"

She looked over at me, looking somewhat calm and showing the first hints of a real smile. "Yes?"

"Besides the obvious name similarity, why did you decide to go as Tanya?" I asked, honestly curious.

"Well, I was going to go as Toph from Avatar the Last Airbender." She began. "But then we binge watched The Saga of Tanya the Evil. It was like looking in an animeifying mirror."

"I can see that." I said somewhat flatly. "You creepy, creepy child." I froze the moment the words left my mouth, as did Astelan. Slowly I looked over to see that Tanya had stiffened. Her head turned towards me unnaturally, like some clockwork doll. Thank you brain, that just made this situation so much better! Her eyes bored through my helmet and into my soul as a mirthless grin split her face. She slowly, again like a clockwork doll, stood up from her spot on top of Astelan. Astelan whispered something to me.

"Run."

I turned back towards to crowds around us. I amplified the speaker in my helm. "IN THE LICH KING'S NAME, MOVE!" The crowd split like I was fucking Moses. Unfortunately, I also got more attention than I was comfortable with. However, a sense of impending doom behind me caused me to act.

I ran like a bitch.

I ran from the tiny manifestation of Fear Incarnate. I couldn't see or hear Tanya coming after me. I felt Tanya coming after me. I heard various comments from the crowd as they either watched, laughed, or shot video.

"Run Arthas!"

"-kes sense. Tanya is the only-"

"This is going on Youtube!"

I dared not looked behind me. "Nope nope nope nope nope nope." I babbled under my breath. Oh, hey there's a large black tent. Let's go in there. Maybe something will distract Tanya. I ducked inside and was surprisingly able to stand at full height. Nice.

When I actually got a good look at what was inside the TARDIS-esque tent my jaw dropped inside my helmet. Most of the tent was filled with tables set up in rows. Running along the edges of the tent walls were weapon racks. Said tables and racks were filled with more nerdy replicas of weapons, armor, and miscellaneous items than I'd ever seen before in my life.

"Don't think that hidi-... in... a..... tent....... Ooooooooo Stuff...." I heard Tanya yell before her voice faded to something resembling awe. Looking down I noticed that her face was like that of a kid in a candy story. Not that I'd ever admit that she looked like that to her face.

"Tanya don't- Ooooooooo Stuff......." And there's Astelan. The gang's all here!

I looked to the back of the tent. On a Table lay three items. A Bolter, Frostmourne, and a necklace with a teal jewel in it. Behind the table was, as I might've guessed, the Merchant in all his creepy RE4 glory. "I believe these are what you're looking for." He said in an eerie hiss.

"Wow.... He is not subtle." Tanya said blandly. "He just killed my excitement boner."

"No, he is not, and thank you for that mental image." I groaned as I strode across to the Merchant's table. I noticed the cash register behind the three items. Who'd pay in cash here?

"You'll thank me for real later." Tanya called as I heard her and Astelan start browsing.

"No, I won't." I called back as I got to the Merchant's table.

"King Arthas." He gave me a small bow. "Your sword." He gestured a sleeve-covered hand at Frostmourne.

"One, I am Lord Menethil." I put on my I am a Chaos Lord persona. "Two, I am going to browse first, as are my friends. And three, it's dangerous to go out alone, take this." I reached into a belt pouch, pulled out my wallet, pulled out the credit card held within it, and calmly set the card in front of the cash register. I then returned the wallet to its pouch and spun around. "Hey you two, pick what you want, it's on me."

"Oh.... okay then..." The Merchant sounded somewhat confused as if this wasn't going the way he'd expected.

"Woot! Swag!" Tanya cheered and began swiftly bouncing between the various tables.

"Thank you." Astelan said still appearing somewhat lost, if his body language was anything to go by.

I began to browse the merchandise. There was almost too much to take in. I glanced over at the Frostmourne on the table and my brow furrowed. I had a thought of going with Lich King / Chaos Lord thing. But something about that felt off.

Doing what was expected kinda felt... boring...

So... what if I did something different? Maybe choose things that would result in something truly unique?

This got me thinking.

"Hey Tanya, Astelan, are you two familiar with the idea of Displaced?" I asked, noticing the Merchant stiffen somewhat.

"Yeah." Astelan responded. I looked over at him and saw that he had grabbed a gold chain with a pendant shaped like a gold cobra head with a green snake eye gem in the center. He had wrapped it around his free wrist and let it dangle.

Hmmm... That would fit his serpent theme...

"Like the Creepypasta, or the..." Tanya let her question hang in the air. I noted the she'd grabbed a pair or Hand Crossbows and had somehow managed to strap them to her belt.

I groaned. "Yes.... I'm a brony, what of it?"

There was a moment of silence. I looked over at Tanya. She was giving me a half-lidded blank stare. "Are you a child molester?"

"Ha!" I barked. "No." I responded flatly as I turned back to the racks.

So I've already got the Lich King and Space Marine thing down. Who knows if the Dragonbone aspect would translate. I hummed briefly looking at the shelves and racks in front of me. Sadly, I didn't see much that I wanted... yet.

"It's okay. MLP is awesome, Fanfics are better. Mmmmm dat Project Horizons doh." Tanya cooed.

I snorted a laugh. "So you are familiar with the Displaced?" I turned and slowly wandered the radius of the tent, admiring all the intricate detail of all the replicas that probably weren't replicas. "Also, don't remind me of sad things."

"What? Like Lacunae" I felt Tanya's evil grin.

I felt a feelsy stab of pain in my chest and winced. "Yes! Like that!"

Quick! Distract yourself!

The Lich King is Ice. Ice and Death. Well... Arthas, the Lich King is...

Hmmmmm..... What if I went with Bolvar instead?

The Flame King?

Thought!

I looked around for a particular weapon.

Tanya's voice drew me out of my thoughts. "You mean those, look at me! I'm this person! Oh look, there's the Merchant with the item that I need to complete my costume! I'm going to Equestria! Yay! I have a decent plot but I'm going to fuck it up by doing ALL of the crossovers with ALL the people! Is that the Displaced you mean?" Tanya folded her arms over her chest and quirked an eyebrow at me. The Merchant wilted a little at her tirade. I glanced over at the dangerous loli and found that she'd found a bright red cloak.

Suddenly she became the most dangerous version of Little Red Riding Hood.

She's only making herself scarier!

"She really doesn't like Displaced stories. Well there are a couple she likes, but she doesn't like most of them." Astelan explained. Glancing towards him showed that he had found a wrist-mounted Storm Bolter and had strapped it to his forearm. Now he had his Power Fist, a Storm Bolter, and the necklace.

"Ha! Yes, those are what I'm talking about." I laughed, Tanya and Astelan momentarily distracting me from my search.

"Okay, just making sure. Now pretend I don't know, because I'm pretty sure you had a monologue coming and I want to hear what you're thinking." Tanya half-snapped at me as I went back to my weapon hunt.

"Well thank you." I chuckled. "So the basic idea is, a person goes to a con dressed as their favorite character. Now it doesn't always have to be a con, there are other unique ideas that people do in their writing, but traditionally it's person goes to a con as said favorite character."

"I'm with ya. Continue." Tanya responded. I passed Astelan and noticed that he had found himself a Dragonbone Greatsword and had somehow managed to sheath it in his belt. Due to his Space Marine size it honestly could be wielded like a longsword. Though come to think if it, he'd probably have to take off the Storm Bolter to wield the sword.

I think? He could just have it for ornamentation.

"Okay, continuing on." I grinned, then paused as I saw a black sword with a hole running through the center of the blade. It didn't look like metal. It was too... fluid. However, a small chain dangled at the end of the hilt. On the end of the chain was what looked like a stylized red dragon with flared wings and a long tail. (I knew that that wasn't a dragon.)

I took it and loosely held it as I continued. "While at the con, said person, now called the Protagonist of the story, finds the Merchant. I.E. him." I pointed at the Merchant, who proceeded to jump at my gesture. "Now the Protagonist is normally missing a key piece to complete their costume. That's where the Merchant comes in. At his stall, table, tent, what-have-you, he has the one item the protagonist is missing. This is no mere item however. No, once purchased, this item will transport you to a world of Friendship and Magic! A world where your actions will shape the world! A world where you can form a group relationship with the Mane Six, both Princesses, and Chrysalis and all the ladies will be fine with it because they love you because you're Faust's gift to pony-kind!" Tanya and Astelan started laughing as I hammed up the explanation. "Or, you could go the evil route and murder everything you come across. Or due to a mistake, or an intentionally evil act, a thousand plus years ago the protagonist gets turned to stone and once out decides to continue his plans from before he or she got stoned."

"Yeah, sounds about right." Tanya nodded as she grabbed a silver crossbow with a rams head protruding from the front and a large cylinder barrel of bolt underneath.

"Now I love a few Displaced stories myself, and I've read many that start absolutely fantastically and really draw me in." I chuckled happily as I continued to browse. I glanced over at Tanya. She'd found a silver ring with a bright red ruby set in the center. She was leaning against the Merchant's table holding onto her crossbow. Astelan stood next to her. He'd found a dark purple tome that appeared to have eyes on the cover. I closed my eyes and let out a slow breath. "Then comes the Crossover...." I groaned, facepalming my helmet wit ha slight whine of servos. "Oh Lord, the Crossover. I know that this whole thing started with F*** it I'm Having Fun, and I know the point of Displaced stories are to have protagonists meet other protagonists or antagonists.... But do you have to sacrifice the plot of your story just so you can have Protagonist A meet Protagonist B? Most of the time I love where a story is going, the it gets t-boned by a Crossover. Yes, the idea is cool, and yes, I bet it would be fun to do a Crossover with someone else. Just... do you have to sideline the plot of your story? If you do a Crossover don't just throw someone in, have it fit. Have it make sense within the context of the story. Like oh I'm in a really bad situation. Can someone please help me? There you go, that's why a Crossover is happening." I took a breath. Taking a minute to calm myself, I happened to look over and see a helmet mirroring mine, though there were some differences. The helm was a metal that looked like dark bronze. Secondly, the gem in the forehead was a bright orange color.

Oh... This is perfect....

Just what I'm going for!

"What about the tokens?" Astelan asked, snapping me out of my brief giddy haze. I quickly grabbed the helmet off of the rack before responding.

"Don't even get me started on the tokens!" I turned and pointed at him. "Yes, good idea, let people out there know you're there to help. But for the love of all that is Holy don't just activate one out of the blue! That's asking for trouble and plot destruction! Do some research for fuck sake! And God dammit, don't write them so you can activate them on accident, or when you're asleep, or something else stupid!" I gesticulated wildly. "Tokens should be intentional use only! Also, listen to what the Token's owner says before you use it! That way you don't get royally fucked by some OP antagonist who would kill you if not for Plot Armor!" I ranted.

I wilted, breathing heavily. "I remember the first Displaced fic I ever read. It was called Headless, not Heartless by Thadius0. It was wonderful, I had a great story and Crossovers weren't just random. They meant something. I read that years ago and ever since then I haven't found anything as good." I chuckled. "That is, until I found a fic called Monster is as Monster Does, by an author called Weapons_X. It's amazing... The protagonist Jekyll is intriguing, the world building is fantastic, the humor is spot on, Luna's adorable, Jekyll's response to the Tokens had me rolling, and finally, he made me Hate Celestia! I love Celestia! She's awesome! Yet every time she speaks in the story I wanna pop her in the mouth. I don't care if it's not okay to hit women, she fucking deserves it for what she's done!"

"Wow... I need to read this story." Tanya blinked.

"If I ever got Displaced myself, and I got Jekyll's Token, I wouldn't go immediately and fan-freakout over him. That would be rude. I'd build up a fucking army and I would only show up if he needed help in a mass battle scenario. Oh no, this battle isn't going the way he thought it would."

I chuckled darkly. "In a roar of flames, a portal appears. In moments, countless burning skeletons would charge forth. Swarms of wraiths and banshees would darken the skies. Legions of Graveknights and Grave Guard would march forth. Numbers always win in the end... The enemy would be ground to dust and ash beneath the legions. For if it's worth killing, it's worth overkilling. For me and mine would be Fire and Death..." I chuckled and shook my head. I took a deep breath and sighed. "If there was, by some miracle, a chance I personally got summoned by him as a fucking social call..... I'd tell him he's appreciated, that he's my hero for persevering through so much shit. He's a good person even with his heinous kill count. He's not a monster. He cares, whether he denies it or not. A monster wouldn't worry about others. A monster wouldn't try to save a country that has the entire world against it because of Sunny Cheek's fuck ups. It's not our successes that grow us... it's our failures. We learn from our failures." I sighed and bowed my head.

I heard a slow clap from outside the tent.

Confused I, as well as Tanya, Astelan, and the Merchant, looked outside to see a crowd of people that were now full-on applauding. Most of said crowd were holding up cell phones. Dammit, they'd recorded my monologue didn't they?"

"Holy shit Menethil...." Tanya looked to me. "You can fucking talk. Shit, talk about Leadership Charisma."

"Now the mood's killed." I groaned. "Let's get the stuff."

"So, how are we doing." I asked the Merchant, who was looking at me nervously. Tanya grabbed the necklace and slipped in around her neck. Astelan, in turn grabbed the Bolter. I however didn't pickup Frostmourne.

"So I ran your card. You're good there. You got.... more than enough stuff..... but there's a problem." He hissed awkwardly.

"And that is?" Tanya quirked a brow.

The Merchant wilted. "I'm not strong enough to send you to Equestria with all that. I mean he's a Space Marine Snake God." He pointed at Astelan. "She's the Queen of Monster Hunters." He pointed at Tanya.

Then he pointed at me and seemed to lose focus, suddenly giving me the thousand yard stare. "And you..... I don't know what you are. You're.... Death... Fire... The Abyss itself....."

I leaned away a little. "Cool?"

"You knew he was The Merchant, didn't you?" Astelan spoke up. I shuddering in my armor and looked at Astelan

"Well, not really, I thought it would be cool, but this is both a bonus and absolutely hilarious." I chuckled weakly. "So, What happens now?" I asked the clearly exasperated inter-dimensional dealer of gear.

"Well, first you take your sword then my boss can send you on your way." He groaned.

I looked down at the sword.

Frostmourne was okay.....

But......

"I don't want Frostmourne."

The Merchant blinked at me. "Wat."

"Got anything else that would fit?" I asked, thankful that my helm hide my nervous smile.

"Let... Let me see." The Merchant grabbed Frostmourne and bent over behind the table. He pulled out a different sword. A blade of bone, tattered flesh, and red light.

"Apocalypse.... Yus...." I breathed and almost tore the blade out of the Merchant's grasp. "Sorry! Just excited." I winced.

"It's.... It's fine..." The Merchant looked exhausted by this point.

"You okay?" I asked, honestlfy feeling bad for trolling the guy.

"Yeah." He sighed. "I can't remember the last time somebody pulled something like this..." He yawned. "Hopefully the next person or persons will be easier." He shrugged. "Meh. You should go see my boss, she'll send you on your way."

"Alright." I nodded. "Have a good one." I turned to leave, paused, and turned back. However before I could ask, Tanya beat me to it.

"Who dat?" Tanya chirped.

"You've met her." The Merchant sighed.

"We've met her? When did we...." I gasped as my eyes widened. "Oh Mother-"

"Hi!" Mei smiled at us with a cute wave.

"This is the best thing ever!" Tanya was rolling on the floor laughing her ass off. Astelan silpy stood behind her quietly. I, however, was grinning inside my helmet.

"Hello Mei. How are you?" I asked cheerily.

"Oh, I'm good. I loved your speech by the way." She smiled.

"Why thank you, I can get to talking sometimes. It's a habit that's probably going to get me shot someday." I chuckled.

"You never know." She shrugged.

"Oh, before we go. Can I get something?" I asked, holding up a hand.

"You want more, you psycho?" Tanya raised a brow at me.

"Yeah...." I responded weakly.

"What do you want?" Mei smiled happily.

I like her. She's chill.

Oof... Bad pun...

"Can I get that Soul of Cinder statuette?" I pointed at the statue of a black armored knight statue that was sitting next to the Ruby statue that Tanya had looked at earlier.

"Oh sure!" Mei grinned an pushed it over to me."It's free."

"Doubling down on the fire?" Astelan chuckled at me.

"Always." I nodded at him.

Astelan turned back towards Mei. "So, you're going to send us to Equestria? Really?"

"Yep!" Mei chirped happily.

"How?" Astelan rumbled.

"Like this." Mei giggled.

I got the distinct feeling of slipping on a freshly mopped floor, then hitting said floor spine first, only to have your head snap back and slam into the floor after you hit.

In short, I blacked out.

Author's Note

Yes Menethil shares my views on Displaced fics and yes I fangasmed over Monster is as Monster Does. I can't help it I love the story.

My Musical inspiration for this Chapter: