Pinkie Pie Thinks She's The Joker
"And just one final... There we go... And it's done!" Twilight removed her goggles and wiped the sweat from her forehead.
"What is it?" Spike the Dog stared up at the contraption with curiosity... for about four seconds before returning to his squeaky chew toy.
"This is a little something I call The Pop-Culture Popper."
Spike raised an eyebrow and took his mouth off his toy. "Pop-Culture Popper?"
"Yep... It's only a temporary title. Hehe." Twilight patted the metal contraption that rivaled her height. Several green lights flashed on the miniature tower, the largest being an orb at the top of said device. "I'm always studying more scientific stuff and when my friends talk about stuff like movies, video games, comic books, etcetera; I get stumped a lot. This baby holds information of all things pop-culture."
Spike stared blankly at her while chewing his whatchamacallit.
"...I was bored, okay." Twilight shrugged and grabbed a hold of a lever on the side of the mechanism. "Now, let's test this baby out." She pulled down the lever... and almost immediately felt about 3000 volts of electricity course through her body and shock her off the ground.
The rest of the lights in the room went out, leaving only the flashing green lights of the Pop-Culture Popper to illuminate Twilight's shaking body. This went on for about six seconds before the shocking stopped, allowing her to fall to the floor; her body twitching, her eyes glazed over, and a bit of foam coming from her mouth. "......I think it needs some work." She wheezed out."
What she nor Spike noticed was two green beams launch out of the machine and fly out of the room.
Said green beams soared into the sky, zigzaging every direction until they entered a house. Inside said house was a certain pink party girl, sleeping peacefully with her stuffed replica of her baby alligator. A green beam zapped her, startling her awake and knocking her off the bed.
She slowly pushed herself onto her knees, not saying a word. Then she started laughing. It was a soft chuckle at first, but then it grew louder... and louder... and louder... and louder... and-
"Pinkie! Shut up or I'll kick your butt outside!" Limestone yelled from her bedroom.
"Hey, has anyone seen Pinkie?" Sunset asked.
The Rainbooms had noticed that they were short one crazy girl all day. School was almost over and they had all finished early so they could get a head-start on band practice; something that Rainbow Dash had mixed feelings for due to not being the best student.
"Haven't seen 'er all day." Applejack said with a shrug.
"I texted her, but I never got an answer." Rainbow Dash said.
"I hope she's okay." Fluttershy added.
A laugh came from the doorway. "O-kay?! Hehehahaha!"
The six girls turned to see a figure standing in the doorway with a fedora over her head that hid her face and a trench coat over her shoulders. Despite the covering attire, the curly hair poking out from the hat gave away who it was... but the hair being green rose some questions.
"Pinkie?" Sunset asked.
"In matter of speaking, yes. Teehee."
"My word, darling, the fedora-trench coat look doesn't suit you at all." Rarity mused as she looked over the bland combo that simply did not compliment her friend. Though perhaps with a different color, a pattern design, and some accessories...
Pinkie stepped into the room, her face still hidden by her hat. "Oh, this? This is just a, hehe, curtain. A little something to hide the main event. Because, as we all know, the best kind of joke is the kind that comes as a... SURPRISE!" Pinkie threw off the attire, revealing herself.
The others just stared blankly at her.
"Umm, Pinkie," Twilight spoke up. "I know I haven't known you as long as the others and, judging from how you usually are, this could very well be a stupid question, buuuut... Why are you dressed as the Joker?"
Indeed, Pinkie was very much dressed up as the infamous Batman villain. The purple suit, the make up, the green hair, the red lipsti-Oh, wait. That was just grape jelly smeared on her face.
Pinkie busted out laughing. "Oh-ho-ho, I'm more than dressed up, Twily! I am the Joker!"
The others continued to stare blankly, looking for any indication that Pinkie was just messing around.
"...Oh, hahaha! That was a good one there, Pinkie." AJ tried. "Ya really had us goin' there for second."
Pinkie's smile slowly turned into a frown as she gave AJ one of the meanest 'I know you peed in my cereal' looks she had ever seen.
Everyone froze.
Pinkie held the glare for a moment before laughing it off. "Oh, it's no joke."
"Hold on, hold on." Rainbow Dash held up her hands and walked towards Pinkie. "Lemme get this straight. You actually think you're the Joker."
Pinkie enthusiastically nodded, a big smile still plastered on her face.
"Like, the real 'nothing better than a world of mayhem' Joker?" Rainbow asked, doing her best impression of Mark Hamill's Joker.
Pinkie nodded again.
Rainbow stepped right up to Pinkie, looking into her eyes to see any sign that Pinkie was pulling her leg. After a moment, she put her arm around Pinkie's shoulders and turned to address the others. "Ladies, mark the time. Pinkie Pie has officially flipped." She looked to her now-more-insane-than-usual friend. "So, if you're the Joker, what'cha gonna do?"
"I'm glad you asked!" Pinker said as she slapped Rainbow on the back, nearly knocking her over. "I suppose you're all wondering why I wasn't in school today or so you thought?!"
Sunset shrugged. "Well, we were just-"
"Why wasn't I around? I'm glad you asked!"
"But I didn't-"
"I've spent all day planting bombs in every room in the school!"
Halt. Screeeech. Rewind. That was the basic thought process each of Pinker's friends were having right now.
"Woah, woah, woah. Could you repeat that last part?" Rainbow twisted a finger in her ear. "I could'a swore you said that you planted bombs all over the school."
"I did!" Pinker let out another crazed laugh. "And I filled each one with cake batter and confetti! It's gonna be one messy evening! Hehahahahaha!"
The other girls looked at each other.Then at Pinker. Then at each other. Then at Pinker. And then they all busted out laughing. All seven girls laughed their butts off for a moment.
"Oh-hahahaha-Oh, man! You-hahaha-You really had us going, Pinkie!" Sunset got out while clutching her stomach.
Pinker's laughter started to calm. "Ehhh, what? Hehe."
"Not even you could pull that off, Pinkie." Twilight pointed out while wiping tears from her eyes.
Pinker looked at each of her friends, her smile getting slightly strained. "... HAHA, ya got me! Man, I almost had you guys!"
"Yeah, you really scared us, Pinkie." Fluttershy said, though she too was recovering from laughter
"So, what is this really about, darling?" Rarity asked.
Pinker brought out a purple box with a bow on it from... somewhere. "I just wanna show you guys something." She sat the box down and gave it a loving pat. "You'll love it; it's gonna be a blast." She held back laughter as she walked backwards towards the door. "Ten... nine... eight... seven, six, five, four... three... two..." Pinkie was out of the room and slammed the door closed with her foot before she could reach 'One'.
The others slowly looked from the door to the box.
"Ah gotta baaad feelin' 'bout this." Applejack said just before the explosion.
As Pinker skipped down the hallway, she brought a small metal trigger out of her suit and pressed the red button. "Boop."
What followed was a melody of hundreds of cake-batter bombs going off in the school, complimented by a counterpoint of screams followed by cries of "My Hair!" and "Ewww!" and "I think I had a dream like this once." Pinker merrily skipped along, laughing as doors blasted open, one by one in quick session with cake batter oozing on the floor and confetti filling the air. The chorus of chaos traveled throughout the school. No one could stop the Pinker! No one!
Meanwhile in the Rainboom's Practice Room...
The six girls found themselves sitting in a pool of cake batter and confetti.
Rarity let out an ear-piercing scream. "My hair! My dress! Ruin-en-en-end!" She yelled as she cried.
Applejack facepalmed. "Our friend thinks she's a psychotic criminal mastermind, an' you're worried about ya dress?"
"And my hair!"
Rainbow Dash looked over herself and groaned. "How many times is Pinkie gonna get me covered in cake batter?" She wondered to herself before licking batter off her fingers.
Spike popped his head out of Twilight's backpack, pushing up his sleep mask to see the sugary carnage that surrounded him. "Uhhh... Did I miss something important?"
"No, not at all." Twilight said sarcastically.
"Oh, okay." With that, Spike returned to his slumber.
Twilight simply rolled her eyes in response as she attempted to clean her glasses with her skirt... only to realize that only made it worse. "Ugh..."
The camera slowly moves up the side of the school.
The screams of innocents echo in my ears. The smell of cake fills my nose. The Joker is definitely here. But so am I.
The camera stops on a figure crouching at the edge of the school rooftop, a cap flowing in the wind.
I am the night. I am vengeance. I... am... BatMaud.
Trixie angrily stomped through the messy hallways, wiping confetti-covered cake batter off of herself. "Ugh, Trixie is so going to file a complaint to the principal!" She said to herself before coming to a stop at a vending machine. "The great and powerful Trrrixie... needs some peanut butter crackers." Trixie reached into her pocket only to find nothing. Trixie patted herself down and realized she left her money back home. "Oh, shickelpuff." She cursed to herself as she banged her hand against the machine. However, before Trixie could start on a great and powerful rant on how tragic this day was, she caught sight of a dark figure in the reflection, standing right behind her. She gasped and turned around to find... Well, she really wasn't sure.
Standing before her was some chick in a Batman costume. The mask; the cape; the black undies over the grey outfit for some reason; the whole nine yards. "You." She addressed Trixie in a monotone voice. "You look evil. Tell me where the Joker is."
Trixie blinked. "...Okay, first of all, are you judging how Trixie looks? Second of all, Trixie is currently in the middle of dealing with great trauma and cannot be bothered with your silly games."
The costumed girl responded by grabbing Trixie by the collar, bringing her close to where their faces were a mere two inches from each other. "This is no game and you're dodging the question. Now, tell me where Joker is." Her voice remained in total monotone.
Trixie was taken aback by the forceful gesture and remained silent for a brief moment. However, after deciding her ego was more important than thinking things through, she pushed the girl's hands off of her and dusted herself off... which was kinda pointless since she was still covered in cake batter, but that was beside the point. "Listen, nerd, you have no idea whom you are dealing with! I am the Great and Powerful Trr-"
Trixie was cut off by the girl grabbing her, spinning around, and throwing her face first into the vending machine.
"-rixie" Trixie weakly finish before slowly sliding down.
The costumed girl grabbed Trixie by the hair. "Where is she?" She asked in the same voice but with a somewhat aggressive undertone before slamming her face into the vending machine.
Bam.
"Ow..." Trixie moaned.
"Where is she?"
Bam.
"Where is she?"
Bam.
"Where is she?"
Bam.
"Where is she?"
Bam.
"Wait a minute!" Trixie yelled. "How is banging Trixie's head against a vending machine gonna help?!"
BatMaud looked at Trixie.
Trixie looked to BatMaud.
"...Where is she?"
Bam.
"Okay, okay! I'll tell you!"
The costumed girl held Trixie up to look her in the eye... Well, at least with the one that wasn't black and blue.
"The Joker is on the other side of the school. You should get there quick before something bad happens."
"How do I know you're not lying?"
"I'm not!" Trixie lied. "Trixie swears to God!"
"Swear to me." With that, she practically threw Trixie at the vending machine.
Trixie fell on her butt and could hear something fall in the vending machine. When she looked up, the costumed girl was gone.
After a moment of just sitting and nursing the great and powerful head, Trixie absentmindedly reached into the vending machine opening to grab whatever fell. Her hand wrapped around something and she pulled it out. Her good eye widened and a smile came on her face when she saw it was peanut butter crackers. "Yes!" She raised the holy grail into the air. "The Great and Powerful Trixie is victorious!"
The Pinker opened the door to the rooftop. Her mission of chaos done, she needed to make her grand escape. She made a call to her trusted Number-One Guy. "Hey, Marble, get me a helicoper over Canterlot High. Twenty minutes. Actually, better make it ten.
"Why? Because I just flooded the school with cake bombs.
"Because I'm an agent of chaos."
"What do you mean 'get some help'?!
"Look, it's not that difficult. Just-"
A figure landed behind her. "It's over, Joker." A monotone voice called out.
Forcing a smile, Pinker hung up and turned to face her sworn enemy: the BatMaud. "Oh, Batsy; I'm so glad you could show up for the party."
"The only party you're having is in jail." BatMaud said.
Pinker chuckled and held up her hands as she approached the Moderately Dark Knight. "Okay, Okay; you got me. Put it there." She held out her hand.
BatMaud took her hand.
Pinker laughed as 10,000 volt of electricity coursed through the Bats' veins and fried her to a crisp... at least, that was the plan. In reality, nothing happened as BatMaud held. That's when the Pinker realized that she didn't have a lethal joy buzzer or indeed any joy buzzer of any kind. "Oh... crud."
Twilight walked out of the school, still covered in cake batter and confetti. Spike had positioned himself out of her backpack to lick at her coated hair. The school was in an uproar at this sudden and incredibly bizarre attack, while Twilight and her friends were baffled at Pinkie's sudden change in personality. Even for Pinkie Pie, this behavior was very odd. "I just don't understand what's gotten into Pinkie."
Spike stopped licking at Twilight's hair and instead looked above as Twilight started passing by a tree. "Why don't you ask her?"
Twilight stopped and looked up to see Pinkie Pie, still decked in her Joker outfit, hanging from her panties, which were tied around a branch and impressively knotted into the shape of a bat. The crazed girl herself seemed to be in a daze. "Pinkie, what happened?!" Twilight asked as she approached her poor wedgied friend.
"It was a great fight, Harley, but I lost." Pinkie muttered in her dazed state.
Meanwhile, a shadowy figure crouched upon a higher branch, decked out in a Batman costume. Twilight spotted the figure and adjusted her glasses to make sure her eyes weren't deceiving her. "Maud?"
BatMaud pulled out some makeshift grabbling gun and fired above before swinging away... except she didn't latch on to anything and fell flat on her face.
Twilight was finally at her wit's end. "Will someone please tell me what the heck is going on?!"
Spike tapped his chin in thought. "...Do you think this could have something to do with that machine you finished last night?"
Twilight stared off into the distance as Spike's words settled in. "Oh... dear. I'm in so much trouble."
