The Deadliest Game.... of Go-Fish
It was all over. Equestria had lost. Its proud armies destroyed by the far more advanced Humans. The Human leader, a man by the name of Gandhi, first approached Equestria with open arms of peace. His soft spoken words, priceless wisdom, and lessons of peace made him a very welcome addition to the Kingdom. If only they had seen through that facade then, maybe it wouldn't have turned out this way.
He had approached Princess Celestia one day at the castle and nonchalantly ordered for 300 crates of gold bars to be delivered to his capital city. Celestia, taken back, asked why. His response was even more frightening, "To continue my research in to nuclear weapons of course," he responded with a calm and pleasant look on his face that just made the previous statement even more horrifying.
Celestia informed him that she was no sponsor of Nuclear weapons and that his welcome was long overstayed. Gandhi bowed politely and calmly informed her that the two Kingdoms were now at war and his words and actions were backed by nuclear weapons.
Within a week, all of Equestria had succumbed to either Gandhi's Armies or the flames of his nukes. The Mane Six has failed to stop him and now they were gone, blasted into the far east by a nuke, saved only by their elements. Celestia, in her fury attacked the Warlord, but a well timed nuke had rendered her incapacitated. His armies advanced, city by city, conquering Equestria little by little until all that remained was its capital. He arrived to find a shield protecting it and the banner of the two sisters flying defiantly over the castle. Gandhi, being ever the pragmatist, decided to nuke the shield till it popped. When the third nuke hit, the shield fell and the remaining force of the blast rendered the city into ruins. As he marched victoriously into Canterlot and rode into the castle courtyard, there stood Luna, standing defiant against the Peacemaker and staring him down with a glare that could destroy entire worlds. Gandhi, ever the composed one, stood there, astride his horse staring calmly with a small smile on his lips.
"My dear, your Kingdom is lost, your armies laid low, and your sister is defeated. Surrender and be rewarded with a quick death," the Warlord said with a calm smile and quiet voice.
"I challenge you Gandhi of India, to a duel," Luna shouted in the Royal Canterlot Voice.
"My dear, you must know that violence is not the answer to anything," replied the human.
Luna, ignoring the old man's "logic", pressed on, "If not in violence, how about a game?"
"You expect me to place all of my victory in arms on the line over a simple game?"
"I do"
"..." Gandhi paused for a moment, then answered, "Very well Princess, what are the terms?"
Luna's horn glowed extremely brightly all of a sudden and a large sphere of energy appeared over the duo, "Who ever loses this game will receive the full blast of that energy and be rendered obliterated."
"... sounds fair. Now what game is to be played?"
Luna stopped and had to think, she had never planned to get this far, she, sadly, did not know very many games. After wracking her brain for ideas, one came to mind, "I challenge you to a game of cards!"
"Princess, there are a great many games of cards, which in particular do you want to play?"
"Why Go-Fish of course."
"Such a childish game to determine who is the victor in this great war?"
"Yup, and it's, sadly, the only card game I know how to play."
"... Very well princess, where shall we play?"
A small table and two chairs appeared in front of them and on the table a small deck of cards appeared. As both parties took their seat, the cards magically began to shuffle themselves and soon both sides had seven cards and the game was commenced.
"Do you have any 5s?" Luna asked.
"No my dear, go fish. Do you have any aces?"
"Drat." She handed him the Ace in question.
"Thank you my dear, do you have any Kings?"
And so the two played whilst the entire population of the city and Gandhi's army watched in horror and mild amusement.
"Do you have any 10s?" Luna asked.
"That I do Princess," he said as he handed it to her.
Minute by minute the time ticked by, as each player's piles of matches stacked up. And soon the last cards were matched and the game stopped. The cards began to glow and soon a magical counter appeared over each other's head counting their matches as each set disappeared. After the spell was finished each players scores were displayed for all to see, Gandhi at 23 and Luna at 29.
"Well that's problematic," said the Warlord as the sphere of energy shot down on his head engulfing his body and rendering it non-existent. But as the smoke cleared, a glowing form, vaguely resembling a man, stood floating where Gandhi had been.
"Well Princess, you have beaten me and now, once again, I will ascend to another Plane of existence and do battle with whoever dwells there. Blessing be upon you Princess and many curses upon your head as well," The Wraith then disappeared and with it the entire host of troops that had ravaged the land.
"Lulu? Why is the city on fire and why is there a crater in my courtyard?" asked a nervous Celestia as she limped toward her sister.
"Nothing of note, just dealing with our latest threat," she glanced around, "I call dibs on supervising the reconstruction of the Spa!" she exclaimed and then teleported away.
"I'm injured, that's not fair!" Celestia shouted in the Royal Canterlot voice.
A faint reply in the same voice could be heard, "You shouldn't have lost!"
"Uggh, I hope Twilight gets back from Saddle Arabia soon... this place is a mess and I ain't cleaning this up... I'll call it a friendship lesson. 'How to Win a War Using Cards'."