Random Discussions

by King of Madness

Rating: everyone
Tags: Equestria Girls, Comedy, Random, Main 7 (EqG), Slice of Life
Length: 4210

Sunset, Twilight, Rainbow, Fluttershy, AJ, Rarity, and Pinkie have random discussions in their corner in Sugarcube Corner.

Since Pinkie Asks Rainbow a Weird Question was such a huge success, and also since I had a lot of fun writing it, I've made this.

Sunset, Twilight, Rainbow, Fluttershy, AJ, Rarity, and Pinkie have random discussions in their corner in Sugarcube Corner (aka the Sweet Shoppe cafe). And that's all there is to it.

This is an interactive fanfic where I take your suggestions for what discussions will be had. As long as I find it doable, I might make it happen. Now, let's have some fun!

Note: I just want to state for the record that I will not be using any of the characters as mouth pieces, Their opinions do not reflect mine except by conquincidence.

Published 2017-06-06 15:40:06 UTC
Last updated 2017-06-15 16:48:09 UTC

Childhood TV Shows

Author's Note

Suggestion by ArcanaMaverick7

Childhood TV Shows

“Does anyone remember that show with the, um...” Rarity snapped her fingers as she tried to remember. “I think they were called... Teletubbies?”

Rainbow Dash nearly choked on her milkshake, causing her to go into a coughing fit.

“You okay, Dashie?” Pinkie asked as she patted her rainbow-haired friend on the back.

Rainbow took a breath and scowled. “Ugh, I hated that show!”

“Oh, come on, Dashie. It wasn’t that bad.” Pinkie said with a shrug. “I watched it when I was tiny and I thought it was funny.”

Rainbow looked at Pinkie like she was crazy (Oh, wait). “Are you kidding?! Those stupid things gave me nightmar-” Rainbow slapped her hands over her mouth when she realized what she was saying. She looked around at her circle of friends with wide eyes.

The others just looked at her with surprise. “Teletubbies gave ya nightmares?” Applejack asked in a deadpan voice.

“No! No way!” Rainbow denied. “Why would a stupid show about...” She really had no idea what it was supposed to be about. “Why would a stupid kids’ show scare someone as awesome as me?” She gave a nervous laugh.

The others were clearly not convinced.

Rainbow blushed and started to sweat. “...They were creepy, alright! I didn’t know what they were! I didn’t know what they were saying! I didn’t know what they were doing! Everything about it was just... wrong!”

Applejack nodded. “Yeah, I know what’cha mean. I saw that show a few times as a youngin and I was freaked out by how uncanny it was.” She then smirked and added, “Didn’ give me nightmares though.”

Rainbow scowled and crossed her arms as her blush grew.

Fluttershy patted Rainbow on the shoulder. “Don’t be embarrassed, Rainbow Dash. I get scared by a lot of things.”

Rainbow rolled her eyes at her best friend’s obvious statement. “Whatever. The show was dumb anyway. When I was kid, I watched real shows! Like G.I. Joe and Transformers and Dragon Ball Z.” A smile worked it’s way onto Rainbow’s face as she remembered those shows. “Man, I remember going through this faze where, whenever I wasn’t working to become the most awesomest person ever, I was sitting in front of the TV, watching those shows. In fact, my childhood dream was become a Joe!” Rainbow’s smile faded. “But then I learned cartoons weren’t real.”

“Oh, I love Transformers!” Pinkie stated with glee. “I even built a robot suit to be like them!”

The others stared at her.

“...Really?” Twilight asked.

“Yep! I have it in my basement! I’ll show you guys later!” Pinkie promised.

“...That... is... so awesome!” Rainbow made a rather cute kissy face as she said ‘so awesome’.

“I would love to see it, Pinkie.” Twilight said. “But, honestly, I never really understood Transformers. It just seemed... nonsensical.”

Rainbow rolled her eyes again. “Of course, it’s nonsensical. It’s a cartoon. What did you watch as a kid? Science documentaries?”

“Yes.” Twilight answered with no hint of irony. “But mostly, I just read books. Although... There was one cartoon I used to watch a lot.”

“Which waaaaas?” Pinkie asked as she looked at Twilight, upside down.

“...Batman.”

Rainbow looked at Twilight with surprise. “I... didn’t take you as the comic book type.” She admitted.

Twilight gave a nervous laugh. “Hehe. Well, I used to think comics were silly, but there was just something amazing about Batman. He used science and detective skills to do all the things he did.” She glanced away and blushed. “...And Batman was kinda my first crush.”

Rarity hummed. “He is rather dashing... But as for me, my favorite show growing up was Sailor Moon. Those outfits were fabulous... Perhaps a bit too revealing, but fabulous nonetheless. Plus, it’s what inspired me to take self-defense classes, which has certainly came in handy.” She said with pride.

“Self-defense classes...” Rainbow thought for a moment. “Wait a minute, was that you I saw in that karate class?”

Rarity smirked and straightened her hair. “A girl has to be ready to defend herself. You never know when you might have to kick someone’s... derriere.” That was the most polite way of saying ‘butt’ that Rarity could think of.

“Well, as for me,” Applejack butted in. “My childhood was filled with the classics, like Tom an’ Jerry, Looney Tunes, Mickey Mouse, The Three Stooges; good stuff like that.”

“Oh, those were my favorites!” Pinkie exclaimed. “They were one of the reasons I decided to dedicate my life to making people laugh!”

Fluttershy huffed. “I never understood why people like those shows.”

Pinkie raised an eyebrow at her shy friend. “Why not? They’re funny!”

Rainbow tried to signal Pinkie to not push the subject, but it was too late.

“What’s so funny about seeing people getting hurt?” Fluttershy asked with a bit of anger. “Why would watching a bunch of people and animals getting injured be funny? It was just mean!” Fluttershy crossed her arms and glanced away. “But at least they weren’t as bad as... Pokemon.”

“What’s wrong with Pokemon?” Twilight asked.

Rainbow tried to stop Twilight from asking, but it was too late. The floodgates had opened.

“’What’s wrong with Pokemon’?!” Fluttershy shot from her seat and slammed her hands against the table. “It’s a show about enslaving animals, locking them up in pocket-sized balls, and forcing them to fight each other for no reason! And the show has the nerve to say it’s about trust and friendship when it’s really about animal abuse and glorification of pointless violence and slave labor! IT’S AN ABOMINATION ON THIS WORLD!” Fluttershy raised her fists to the air as she shouted the last part.

After a few seconds, Fluttershy opened her eyes and realized everyone in the cafe was staring at her. Embarrassed, she bit her lip and slowly lowered herself until she was under the table.

The others leaned back and stared at where Fluttershy had just been in complete shock... except Rainbow Dash, who just had an expression of ‘yep; that just happened’. “Yeah, she really doesn’t like Pokemon.”

“...Right.” Applejack spoke up, still reeling from Fluttershy’s outburst. “So, what shows did she like?

Rainbow shrugged. “Whenever I went to her house, she would be watching either animal documentaries or The Wild Thornberrys.”

Fluttershy popped her head into the open with a little smile on her face. “Oh, The Wild Thornberrys has always been my favorite show.” She stated before returning to huddling under the table.

“What about you, Sunset?” Pinkie asked her bacon-haired friend.

Sunset, who had remained quiet for the conversation, shrugged. “Well, sad to say, we don’t have TVs in Equestria. So, I didn’t have any ‘childhood shows’. Although, my favorite show that I’ve seen since coming here is The Walking Dead.”

“Oh, yeah. I like that show too.” Applejack said before rubbing the back of her neck. “Though that part with the farm gave me nightmares for a month.”

“I tried to watch it with Rainbow Dash while at was at her house,” Fluttershy said as she eased back into her chair. “But it nearly gave me a heart attack.”

“I know. I still have marks on my body from you grabbing me every time you got scared.” Rainbow deadpanned.

“Oh, um, sorry about that.”

“I love it because of the story and the characters.” Sunset explained. “While the zombies are cool, they aren’t really what the show is about. Plus,” Sunset blushed a little. “Daryl is a babe!”

All seven girls smiled and sighed. “Aaaaah, Daryl...”

Batman vs. Superman

Author's Note

Suggestion by Temnizziv.

Batman vs. Superman

“I swear, it was the worst ending to a movie I have ever seen!” Sunset ranted. “I mean, first of all, no amount of super sonic flying would be able to make the earth rotate backwards! And even if it could, it wouldn’t make time itself go backwards! It was the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen!”

Rainbow Dash shrugged. “Meh, it was pretty dumb the way it was done, but Superman would have found a way to reverse time anyway. He’s awesome like that.” She bragged as though she were talking about herself.

Twilight rolled her eyes. “I’ve never understood the appeal of Superman.”

Rainbow looked at Twilight as though she had just said the sky was green. “Are you kidding? Superman’s awesome! He can move planets! Fly through galaxies! Shoot lasers from his eyes! See through walls! He can do anything!” Rainbow sounded as if she were talking about her crush.

“Yeah... That’s kinda the problem.” Twilight deadpanned.

Rainbow raised an eyebrow. “Whadda’ya mean?”

“I mean, Superman is way too overpowered to be likable. How am I suppose to sympathize with a character who not only has the power to do anything, but also is never conflicted on how to use said power?”

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Of course, you would say that, Miss I-Have-A-Crush-On-Batman.”

Twilight narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms. “Well, Batman is better than Superman.”

Rainbow gasped.

“Oh, this gonna be fun!” Pinkie said before pulling out a tub of popcorn.

Applejack gave her a dry look. “...You gonna share those or what?”

Pinkie handed Applejack another tub of popcorn.

“How can you say Batman is better than Superman?!” Rainbow asked in disbelieve. “If Superman wanted to, he could crush Batman in a millisecond.”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “It’s not about ‘who would win in a fight’, it’s about their characters. Batman is a complex, psychologically scarred, justice-obsessed hero who uses his brain to fight crime. But Superman... Well, frankly, he’s just a Marty Sue.”

Rainbow’s eyes widened as she crushed her can of soda in her grip, causing it go everywhere.

Rarity gasped when some landed on her before glaring at Rainbow. “Again?!”

Fluttershy nervously inched away from Rainbow before Sunset handed her and Rarity tubs of popcorn that Pinkie had been passing out.

“You take that back!” Rainbow demanded. “Superman is just as complex as Batman and there are good reasons why he never abuses his powers!”

“I doubt that.” Twilight said with little interest.

“Batman, what, loses his parents? Superman lost his entire planet!”

“Batman watched his parents get murdered right in front of him. Superman was a baby when his planet was destroyed.”

“That’s not the point.” Rainbow continued. “At least, Batman still got to live in a mansion with Alfred, who might as well have been his father. Superman had to grow up and live with limitless power, knowing that if he gave in just a little, he could end up killing people. That’s why he isn’t conflicted, egghead. He conditioned himself to hold back and only use his powers for good to make sure that didn’t happen. Which is way more tragic than Batman’s backstory, by the way.”

Twilight, and the others for that matter, were surprised by how professional Rainbow was being. She honestly never took the rainbow-haired tomboy as the type to think deeply about... anything. However, her statement that Superman’s childhood was more tragic than Batman’s snapped her out of her amazement. “That’s where you’re wrong, Rainbow Dash. Batman’s past was just as tragic! Do you realize what having to watch as your parents are murdered would do to a child? Batman replays that in his head every day for the rest of his life! And he never got justice for it! That’s why he became the Caped Crusader. And, unlike Superman, he’s completely human. He’s had to train in martial arts, invent countless gadgets, and work himself into peak human conditioning. A character that has to push the limits is better than a character that has to hold back.”

“That’s ridiculous!” Rainbow retorted. “Sure, Batman has to work for all his ‘powers’, but Superman’s situation is harder. To him, it’s like living in a world made of cardboard. In order to fight and save the day again and again, he constantly has to keep himself in check. If he does too little, the bad guys win. If he does too much, he’ll end up hurting people. He has to stay on the line at all times! Besides, who does Batman have to fight anyway? A crazy clown? A fat midget that looks like a penguin? A guy that dresses up as a scarecrow? Superman has to deal with Lex Luther; a god-hating billionaire with a lifetime supply of kryptonite! Zod; who matches Superman’s powers and will kill you if you don’t kneel before him! And Darkseid; a god of evil that can destroy entire worlds!”

Twilight gritted her teeth a bit. “That ‘crazy clown’ is a sadistic, mass-murdering psychopath! That ‘fat midget that looks like a penguin’ is the same but with good publicity. And that ‘guy that dresses up as a scarecrow’ forces people to live out their greatest fears. Something that Superman wouldn’t be able to handle, but Batman handles it time and time again! Superman and Batman are on different playing fields anyway, so comparing who they fight against doesn’t make any sense.”

“Whatever. Superman is still better.” Rainbow said with certainty.

“No, Batman is better.” Twilight retorted.

“Superman!”

“Batman!”

“Superman!”

“Batman!”

“Superman!”

“Batman!”

“Alright, break it up, ladies.” Sunset said with a mouth full of popcorn. She swallowed before speaking again. “They’re both overrated posers anyway.” Sunset slapped her hands over her mouth when she realized what she just said.

Rainbow and Twilight look at her in shock before glaring.

“I didn’t mean to say that.” Sunset said honestly as she held up her hands. “Why would I say that anyway? I think they’re both losers.” She slapped her hands over her mouth again.

Rainbow and Twilight were getting angrier.

“I swear, I’m not making myself say that.”

“She’s right though.” Applejack butted in against her will. “Superman an’ Batman are old news.”

“Indeed,” Rarity agreed, despite not agreeing. “They are second rate compared to the true greatest superhero of all time!”

“The sexiest, smartest, sexiest, toughest, sexiest character ever written.” Fluttershy blushed deeply as she was forced to say this. “Did I mention he’s sexy?”

“Oh, yeah. How could I forget?” Rainbow said.

“How could I forget too?” Twilight said.

Pinkie examined her friends and snapped her fingers. “There’s only one guy who could be responsible for this.”

“Deadpool!” They cooed in unison.

DEADPOOL RULZ

You'll Never Believe What Happened!

Author's Note

Suggestion by Temnizziv

You'll Never Believe What Happened!

"And then Big Mac had to carry Granny Smith out while she kept yellin' 'Lemme at 'em, lemme at 'em'!" Applejack laughed. "It was the funniest thing I've ever seen!"

The others laughed as well.

"And what about you, AJ?" Rainbow Dash asked once she stopped laughing. "Have you ever been in a fight?"

"Not since I was a youngin'." Applejack declared proudly. But then, she remembered something. "...'Cept for that one time. Funny thing is, hehe, the girl I was fightin' was Limestone."

Pinkie spat out her soda, accidentally spraying Rarity with it.

"Pinkie!" Rarity scolded. "Ugh, why do I keep getting sprayed with soda?!"

"What?! I thought you and Limestone were friends?!" Pinkie said with surprise and concern. "Why were you both fighting?"

Applejack rubbed the back of her neck. "Well, we both had too much cider an' we both said some things we would regret sayin'... Hold on, you didn' know Limestone was in a fight? We were both pretty messed up."

Pinkie shrugged. "Limestone gets into fights all the time. She's one of those 'punch first, ask questions later' kind of people."

"Heh, yeah, Ah know." Applejack said with a smirk.

"So, what happened? Who won the fight?" Rainbow asked excitedly.

Applejack thought for a moment. "Ah can't remember everything, but Ah do remember we punched each other for while. And after that, I'm pretty sure she smashed an apple on my head and then I hit her with a pool stick. After that, it's a bit of a blur. Ah remember German suplexin' her through a table and Ah think she chokeslammed me off a balcony and then did an elbow drop right afterwards. Hmm... Pretty sure one of us got thrown through a window. Can't remember much else other than goin' to the hospital."

The others just stared at her.

"...What?"

"But I don't get it." Pinkie said in confusion. "You Limestone get along so well. Heck, you're probably her only friend that isn't her sister!"

"Oh, that didn' change." Applejack assured with a smile. "In fact, I'd say we bonded in that fight."

"Man, I wish i could of been there. It sounds so awesome!" Rainbow mused before getting smacked upside the head by Rarity.

"And what about you, Dash?" Applejack asked. "Any crazy thing happen to you that none of us were there for?"

Rainbow thought for a moment. "...Well, there was this one time in Summer Camp where I got lost in the forest."

"Oh yeah, I remember that." Fluttershy said. "We were really worried about you... Now that I think about it, you never told me what happened. You just said it was a 'long story'."

"Oh, right..." Rainbow rubbed the back on her head. "Well, I kinda wanted everyone to think that I was this bad...butt survivalist."

"And ya weren't?" Applejack asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Of course, I was!" Rainbow defended. "Just... not as much as people thought."

"So, what happened, Dashie?" Pinkie asked.

Rainbow sighed, realizing there was no way out of this one. "Well, what happened was... Now, this wasn't my fault, but... I rolled down a cliff."

The others gasped.

"Well, okay, it wasn't exactly a cliff, but it was really steep hill. Like, really steep! It might as well have been a cliff anyways. So, I fell and rolled down the cliff, err, hill, err, whatever it was and I got lost. I tried to find my way back to camp, but then I meet a bear and... I ran away." Rainbow looked away in embarrassment.

"Why is that bad?" Sunset asked. "You saw a bear and ran away from it. So what?"

"Well, I kinda wanted people to think I would have fought it." Rainbow admitted. "So, anyway, I ended up staying in the forest all night and most of the next day. By the way, why the heck was it so hot during the day and so cold during the night?!"

"Well-" Twilight started.

"Rhetorical question." Rainbow deadpanned.

"Oh... Sorry."

Rainbow rolled her eyes. "And, as you can imagine, I got hungry, so I started looking for berries. The problem was... I didn't know which berries were poisonous and which weren't."

"But, Rainbow, they taught us which ones were poisonous." Fluttershy inquired.

"Right, well, I kinda sorta maybe probably didn't listen."

Fluttershy gave her best friend a look.

"Anyway, so I ate the berries that didn't look poisonous. And... I don't know if they were poisonous or not, but they did not agree with my insides. Once I, uhh, did my business, I grabbed some leaves to wipe myself. But..." Rainbow blushed. "What I didn't know was..."

"Let me guess," Sunset butted in. "It was poison ivy."

Rainbow grumbled. "Yeah."

"Oh, so that's why you were acting funny when you got back." Fluttershy realized. "Why didn't you just tell the teachers?"

"Because it was embarrassing." Rainbow said with exhaustion. "Anyway, I tried to get some nuts, but I was attacked by an army of psychotic squirrels. So, I ended up not eating anything for the rest of that day and most of the day after. I couldn't get to sleep because it got so cold and I spent the next day looking for camp and avoiding that bear... and the squirrels. I even ended up cutting myself on some tree bark and hit my head on rock in the process."

"You told everyone a wolf did that." Fluttershy noted once again.

Rainbow took a deep breath. "I made it back to camp before sundown. The end. And what about you, Shy? What's something crazy that happened to you that none of us know about?"

"Umm..." Fluttershy thought for a moment. "Well, I accidentally got stuck on an airplane once."

Rainbow blinked in surprise. "...Really?"

"Yes. I was seven years old when it happened. Me, Mom and Dad, and Zephyr were talking with some friends at the airport when I saw this adorable little kitty. The poor thing looked lost and no one was paying any attention to him, so I snuck away and tried to catch him. I was so caught up in trying to get to him that I didn't realize we had ended up in the baggage area of a plane until the entrance shut behind us." Fluttershy tapped her chin in thought. "Now that I think about it, how did no one notice me? Hmm... Well, anyway, I was too scared to ask anyone for help, so me and the kitty just hid for the entire flight."

"So, how did you get back?" Twilight asked.

"Luckily, the airplane I ended up on was the same one my parents' friends were on and they found me. Then we took the next plane back home." Fluttershy looked down and rubbed her arm. "I felt awful for putting a dent in their vacation, but they assured me it wasn't a problem."

Rainbow sighed. "Well, at least you had it better than me."

"Oh! Oh! It's my turn!" Pinkie declared.

"I don't think that will be necessary, Pinkie." Sunset stated.

Pinkie gave the bacon-haired girl a confused look. "Why not?"

"Because you tell us weird things that have happened to you all the time."

"Oh... Good point." Pinkie accept without complaint. "What about you, Sunset?"

Sunset thought for a moment. She had already told them plenty of stories of life in Equestria and she didn't want to talk about things that happened during her time as a bully. So, she searched through her memories for something crazy that had happened to her recently that the others were not aware of. After some searching, she found it. "Remember on Christmas break, when I was late for that Nativity play?"

The others nodded.

"The reason I was late was because, while I was wrapping presents, I... kinda ended up in a cocoon of wrapping paper."

Rainbow laughed, earning herself another dope slap from Rarity.

Sunset rolled her eyes.

"How'ja even manage that?" Applejack asked.

"I don't even know." Sunset admitted. "One moment I was wrapping presents; the next, I was wrapping myself."

"I knew I saw ribbons in your hair!" Pinkie declared.

Sunset closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Yes."

"Now, it's Twilight's turn!" Pinkie decided.

Twilight thought for a moment. "Well, actually, I don't I have any stories like that. Most of my life has been reading and studying. The only really interesting parts had you girls in it. Hehe."

"Well, there must've something?" Pinkie insisted.

Twilight continued to think. After a while, she opened her mouth... and then closed it... then opened it again... then closed it again... open... close... open... close... "Nope. Can't think of anything."

"Well then, that leaves Rarity."

Rarity looked at her friends and tried to think of something. Her mind could only bring up one thing... Rarity blushed. "Well, um, I can only think of one event and... I'm sorry, it would not be ladylike to discuss it."

Applejack raised an eyebrow. "Ya do know who ya talkin' to, right?"

"...Good point." Rarity took a deep breath, seeing that there was no turning back now. "Alright, darlings, here's what happened. It was back when Sweetie Belle was still a baby. My parents had some business to attend to and left me to take care of my baby sister. To my luck, she ended up being quite restless and she wouldn't play with any of her toys, so I tried to find something else for her to play with." Rarity's blush deepened. "For whatever reason, I thought it was a good idea to search my parents' bedroom. So, after looking through their closets and finding nothing that would entertain her, I decided to look through the drawers of my mother's nightstand... And I found this funny-looking object."

Fluttershy covered her mouth with her hands while Rainbow bit into her fist.

Rarity looked close to crying. "And... it had a switch on it... and when I turned it on, it started vibrating."

Applejack took off her hat and shoved her face into it. Twilight started sweating profusely, making her glasses fog up.

Tears ran down Rarity's face. "And I thought to myself... 'Sweetie Belle will like this'."

Pinkie looked as if she was about to explode twice.

"And... And... I let her play with it!" Rarity wailed as she broke down into tears.

The others busted out laughing.

Rarity was in hysterics. "She put it in her mouth and everythan-an-an-ang! I was a child! I didn't know any better! Please don't tell Sweetie Belle!" She begged.

"D-Don't worry, Rare." Applejack choked out between laughs. "We'll- hehehe- We'll keep it b-b-between us. Ahahahaha!"

Despite feeling like a terrible person, Rarity couldn't help but laugh to.

The only one who wasn't laughing was Sunset, who stared at her friends in total confusion. "...I don't get it."