Chapters An “Objective” Study
She stared at it.
(Twilight thought to herself) “Oh! What could this glorious thing be! After checking, double-checking, and triple checking the library’s list of books checked out, reorganizing the libraries shelves again, and even pruning the library’s branches for a third time today [the poor thing was looking a bit.. thin now that I think of it], anything out of the ordinary is more than welcome!”
“So”… (Twilight thought to herself) “This strange... ‘object’ had just appeared outside the library today. Spike had just “notified” me of its arrival by promptly tripping over a long, flexible cylindrical object that was connecting it to the ground.
So the main question here is... What is it?”
Then standing forth in a dramatic pose that would do any Bat-Pony proud Twilight yelled,
“TO THE LIBRARY!”
30 Minutes later….
Twilight emerged from the library with her enthusiasm slightly dampened, but immediately perked up when she realized,
“Wait! What if this “object” is something new! Something undocumented! Something… worthy of a scholar! I could even be featured in Equestria’s famous ‘Canterlot Collegiate Quarterly’ if this is important!
“SPIKE! (Twilight yelled), quill and parchment! "
We will be doing…. (Twilight paused for dramatic effect) SCIENCE!”
Spike sighed (he had been ready with the materials as soon as Twilight had even gotten that ‘look’ in her eyes) and dutifully began recording.
Twilight’s first report and description are as follows:
Introduction:
Twilight Sparkle, reporting about this “Object” Discovered on the seventh month, on the ninth day, in the year of Celestia. It’s function or origin is not yet known to this pony, nor is there any record or mention of the object in Ponyville's library.
Description and Observations:
It is of a rectangular nature, with an approximate height of 3.9 hooves and 2.3 hooves. Its corners are pronounced, with the front and the back of the object shaped in a non-uniform manner. Also the materials that compose this “object” are not uniform in their form or composition. On the front side it has a recessed oval structured material that appears glossy and has a slight reflective nature (I am assuming this is the front of the object due to its reflective nature). The top and bottom of the object as well as the rest of the exterior rectangular portion of the object seem to be made out of a material similar to petrified wood (the stone, not the magic type of wood formed from my now infamous firewood experiment while I was studying in Canterlot ), and this exterior material feels very different from common firewood (as it feels smooth, almost similar to a riverstone). There are two protrusions on the front of the “object” that appear almost similar to a knob on a cabinet or dresser. These “knobs” appear to have some sort of writing or glyphs on them (however these glyphs seem to be worn down, so they are incomprehensible regardless of the language they were written in). Also the cylindrical object (of which my assistant tripped over during his discovery of this object) seems to extend from the back of this object into the ground to an undetermined length.
Conclusion:
Thus concludes my description, and I now will begin to experiment with and test this object for any responses or functions it may have (as due to the non-uniform form of this object and its reflective nature, I believe this is not a naturally occurring structure). I will state my discoveries in a follow up report.
“So Mr. ‘Object.’ (Twilight said) You will share your secrets with me… oh yes! I will know everything about you… EVERYTHING! "
With a shaking hoof (and a twitching eye)…
Twilight ever so slowly reached forward….
and touched it.
Nothing happened.
"Ok..." (Twilight thought) I'll just try something else!"
Twilight poked it harder. Still nothing.
She poured a small amount of magic into it. Nothing.
She lifted it, then shook it. Nothing.
She spoke to it, " Activate! Um... move? Function? "
(After 10 minutes of talking to this... "OBJECT" Twilight was growing exasperated.)
"Why won't you work!"
With an exasperated “EUUGH!” Twilight stomped her hoof into the ground.
Wait. (Twilight thought to herself), I should re-read ‘A Student’s Guide to Exploration and Archeology’! That will tell me how to investigate this!’
With a renewed smile on her face and full of energy Twilight galloped back inside, not realizing that she had left with this “object” one of the most dangerous things in all of Ponyville!
(A curious Spike…)
Spike Stared at it…
“Well… (Spike said), If Twilight couldn’t figure it out, maybe I can! I’m her number one assistant after all! Yeah… Yeah! I can do this! This will show her I’m not some “baby”! Maybe Rarity will hear of my brilliance and *gasp*, this could be IT! "
(Spike, with his head in the clouds and full of ambition ran over to the “object”.)
“So, what hasn’t Twilight tried yet… OH! I know!”
(Spike impulsively reached forward and grabbed hold and twisted of one of the knobs. Other than some quiet clicking noises, there was no response. Spike then switched knobs, and turned it. This time, there was one click, and then a noise.)
“Ba-zeew!”
A low humming sound began emanating from the “object”.
“YES!" (Spike said, pumping a clawed fist in the air) “Rarity and Recognition, here I come!”
With the slow humming increasing in its volume, Spike suddenly realized what a mistake this could have been. He isn’t trained in magic, this could be a portal to strange lands, it could explode, it could be a disaster on the level of Twilight’s petrified wood!
“Um… Twilight!?” (Spike nervously called), “its making noises!”
Twilight couldn’t hear him, and judging from the intensity of the humming, the “object” was reaching its point of discharge. Spike’s mind told him to get inside, to get away, to be anywhere but that spot when the “object” went off, but his legs wouldn’t listen.
He just stared at it.
Then with the humming reaching a crescendo of potential chaos, Spike closed his eyes and shielded his face, preparing for the inevitable when…
POP
Nothing happened.
When Spike finally opened his eyes, he saw the strangest thing. The image of a stepladder.
He just stared at it.
An “Objective” Study
“Well. That was weird.” (Spike said while staring at the image of the ladder)
He had expected something… much more climactic. Instead of an awe-inspiring explosion, or a portal to parts or realms unknown, he got the rather… simple image of a step-ladder. Shaking his head Spike gathered his wits and then did what he somehow instinctively knew was right.
He promptly sat down in front of the “Object”.
Unfortunately, this particular image was rather boring. There was little to actually learn from it, and the image just kept rotating in a slow circle as if the stepladder was on a pedestal. Occasionally words would spring up around the ladder spouting gibberish about numbers and how these supplies were somehow urgent.
So Spike, tired now of this stepladder reached forward towards the knob again, and twisted it.
Click.
A new image flashed into view. It was a slowly moving image of an ocean’s tide, slowly cresting and falling along the shore under a sunset.
But it had a voice speaking over it.
(The voice said in a breathy, drawn out manner) “Now, breathe in again, and slowly let your stress out. As you reflect on the ocean, let the tide wash away your cares. Let your head become empty of al-”
*CLICK*
Spike reached forward and somewhat violently twisted the dial again, somehow irritated at the soothing voice, feeling somehow that the voice would brainwash him.
“Eugh… That’s creepy.”
Focusing back to the “object” Spike noticed the new image he had switched to.
Spike didn’t have a chance. He was hooked.
20 Minutes later…
Spike was still enthralled with the images of the giant battling colossuses of armor, and their brightly colored explosions. His body was positioned as close to the “object” as he could be and he was oblivious to all that was around him.
*PathzeW!*
“Spike I-” (Twilight froze mid-syllable after teleporting in).
“SPIKE!” (Spike lunged into the air with a yell) “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” “Um… practicing… obser…jaysion?” (Spike said)“Spike, it’s observation, and WHAT DID YOU DO?” (Twilight’s pupils were almost non-existent at this point)“Well,” (Spike said) "I… uh… kinda… decidedthatIcouldusemypositionasyournumberoneassistantandinvestigatethismyselfpleasedontbemad!”
Twilight had been slowly shifting her attention to the “object” and the many colorful explosions that where being shown by its reflective surface.
“Well… now at least it’s doing something…” (Twilight muttered)”it’s ok Spike, just wait for me in the future! But… what is this… stuff?”
“Only the COOLEST stuff ever!” (Spike Gushed) “It had things going ‘boowhOOSh’ and lazers, and projectile stype-magic, and these giant things are doing battle for the survival of their people and their universe!!!!” (Spike was now talking through sound-effects, exaggerated claw gestures and volume than anything else)
“Spike,” (Twilight said), “I’m glad you found something that you enjoy. But we’ve got to focus on the most important part of this discovery!!” (Twilight had started pacing in front of the “object”)“Regardless of what it is, it is showing us images from either another place, time, or reality altogether! We could learn so much!!!” (Twilight was positively glowing at this point!)
1 Day Later….
*Sigh…* “Spiiiiiike…” (Twilight groaned) “Doesn’t this thing show anything factual or useful? I mean all we have seen is fights with a smattering of dialogue, explosions, more explosions, and those advertisements for something called, “Bacon”.
“TWILIGHT!”
(Twilight jolted out of her daydream) “SPIKE! Oh… Rarity! I was just… never mind! How can I help you?!”
(Rarity playfully tossed her mane) “Oh… Twilight. I know *that* look when I see it…. Who’s the lucky stallion?” (Rarity said, leaning in with her eyes half-lidded)
“NO-ONE! I mean... …So, Rarity…” (Twilight said, averting her eyes) “What can I do for you?”
(Rarity smiled and dropped the subject)“Oh Darling, I just dropped in to return the most recent novel by ‘Dangerous Romance’, and didn’t see you in the Library and… …What is that?”
Ever through the explosion induced hypnotism Spike’s head whipped around at a speed and angle that would make even Owlicious jealous!
(Twilight started to say) “That is an unidentifi-“
“Oh that?!” (Spike positively materialized in between Rarity and Twilight) “That’s something that Twilight couldn’t get to work, and I FIXED! It shows some of the COOLEST stories you’ve ever seen!”
“Stories you see… so.. is it magic?” (Rarity said while inspecting the images)
“Well my findings clearly sho-“
“We don’t know!” (Spike nearly shouted) “It just showed up here, and I discovered it!”
(Twilight sighed, realizing that Spike was in his ‘Rarity’ Mode) “Spike, why don’t you sit here and let me know if anything… scientific happens here. I’m going to go write some letters.”
“Thanks!” (Spike said with a beaming smile) “I know! Why don’t we see if it has anything on fashion!”
“Alright dear, that couldn’t hurt…” (Rarity said, whilst keeping an eye on her not-so-secret dragon-admirer)
(Spike reached forward and began rapidly rotating the knob between images so fast Rarity could hardly follow it)
“Spike!" (Rarity huffed) "How can you even tell what its showing!”
“Oh, sorry Rarity! I’ll switch it around slower.” (“I could tell what was going on though…” Spike thought)
Bits of dialogue could now be heard in between each image.
“Watch as the African Lio-“ *BzzT!*
“OH! What a hit that wa-“ *Bzzt!*
“That was the worst performance I’ve eve-“ *Bzzt!*
Before Spike switched to the next image he heard this…
“What a beautiful dress… it matches your eyes…”
(His claw paused frozen over the dial…)
“Alfonzo, you know we cannot be together! I need a man of intrigue, of class and fashion!”
“But my Jewel, life is not worth living apart from you! Simply give me one day to prove myself!
(Spike’s claw dropped to his side, and he sat spellbound, watching the drama unfold. While Rarity on the other-hand had initially just enjoyed looking at this “Jewel’s” wondrous dress, but now she was drawn into the swirling maelstrom that was this story of love and passion!)
(Spike broke out of his entrancement and realized that if nothing was done, his “love” for Rarity might go un-returned! Spike resolved that he would not let that happen, He had to be like Alfonzo! He had to declare his love and win her heart! Spike began casting his eye about, searching for the perfect way to decla- AH! There is… Rarity would surely know of his feelings after this!)
Spike slowly and resolutely reached his claws over to hold Rarity’s hoof…
Closer…
Closer…
“Pony-feathers!” (Spike muttered as she removed her hoof to adjust her mane])
Closer…
Closer… (He could barely smell her perfume now…)
Closer….
(Spike was so close when he began envisioning holding his beloved Rarity’s hoof. It would be wonderful, they would go on long walks… and… Rarity’s perfume was just so… pretty… and her hooves were just….)
"Szzzzzzzzzz……. "
“Oh dear Spike…” (Rarity said lovingly) “I’d better let you get your sleep. Researching this for Twilight positively exhausted you.”
(Rarity then gentle levitated Spike onto her back, and carefully started making her way to the library, ensuring not to wake the sleeping baby dragon.)
“Sleep well Spike. You’ll find your own Jewel someday…”
A gentle flickering light would continue to emanate from the “object”, just waiting the next viewer to regale with its stories…
Friendship is Expendable!
An “Objective” Study
At first it was an anomaly, then it was a curiosity… and now… now it was pony-sonal!
Over time more and more ponies had started gathered around this… “object” and started watching the images that were being displayed. At first Twilight hadn’t been bothered by this. The images and stories she had to admit were at times… mildly amusing. The problem however was not the object itself, but instead the effect it was having on Ponyville, and indirectly, Twilight herself.
“What is with these ponies anyway! It’s not THAT interesting. I spent several weeks studying it, testing it with magic, science, and every method that a proper science pony could think of! What results did such a GOOOOD study get? NOTHING!”
(Twilight had started pacing back and forth)
“I could even just write this off as a lost cause *twitch*… a mystery that… *twitch* science…. cannot... *twitch* solve.”
(Twilight began pacing faster)
“The worst part is… (Twilight stopped pacing and glared out her window) them...”
(Twilight continued watching the small group of ponies slowly leaving after watching the newest episode of Dr. Whooves)
“They used to come in and check out a book occasionally, they USED to at least remember this place. Now I wonder if anypony even remembers what a library is!”
(Twilight had started pacing again)
“At first it was just Rarity with the ‘Discord of the Brides’, Rainbow Dash with those ‘Pony-Zillah! Treasure Hunter’ movies, and now… EVEN HIM! That little Traitor! My Number 1 assistant? *Euuugh!* Ditching my superior library for what? ‘Transformers: Ponies in Disguise?’”
(Her eyes narrowed dangerously)
“This. Stops. NOW. I must protect Ponyville and all of Equestria from this pandemic of book-lacking-ponies!”
Elsewhere….
“Sweetie Belle! It’s my turn to watch it!”
“No it's my turn!”
“I’ve been waiting!!”
“No! It’s mine! I want to watch My Big Human: Friendship is Expendable! !” (With that Applebloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle all slowly turned to stare at Lyra)
“What. (Lyra said) It’s a show with great characters, AWESOME action with a legendary story, and great graphics! Besides you should really give it a try befor-“
“Lyra! You’ve already watched all the episodes three times already! You don’t need to watch them again!”
“Um…. Excuse...” (Could be faintly heard)
“They are just that good! Of course I’d watch them multiple times! You should try them just once!"
"Ewww... I don't want to watch that! (Sweetiebelle looked disgusted, Applebloom looked neutral, and Scootaloo had a very strange... almost torn look on her face)
"Yeah! I mean... explosions aren't that cool!" (Scootaloo said a bit too forcefully)
(Lyra smirked a bit at that, but continued arguing with Sweetiebelle)
Fluttershy finally made her way in front of the “object”.
“If its not too much of a problem, I’d like to watch my show…” (Fluttershy said while pawing [or hoofing] the ground)
"Oh, what show do you want to watch?" (Sweetiebelle said) "Do you want to watch Discord of the Brides with me?"
“Its… not really… My show is... different...”
(Lyra sympathetically shook her head and muttered) “Still can’t admit it….”
“I just… um… think Lyra might have a…. fun show to… investiage?” (Fluttershy said in a hesitant and questioning tone) [Oh come on, why else do you think Fluttershy started learning those Martial arts?]
“I know!" (Scootaloo said rather too quickly...) "We could get our Cutie Marks in being show reviewers!"
"Yeah!" (Applebloom yelled) "Cutie Mark Object-ors!"
"Well.... I guess it might be worth a try..." (Sweetiebelle sounded very suspicious...)
Fluttershy then reached a hoof forward, and hesitantly turned the dial to a the right channel. It was time for “My Big Human: Friendship is Expendable !"
My Big Human’s theme come on, then slowly….
Lyra already had the popcorn out. It was going to be a great episode….
