Court Jester

Act 3 Part 2: The Ghost with No Name.

Over the next two weeks that I stayed in the rundown town, I formulated several plans to cross the Stag-Equestrian border. I had scouted it several times over, slipping off at night when most of the townspeople were asleep. I managed to get a few good looks at the border.

Most of it was a concrete wall, about thirty feet high and eight thick. It had a heavy steel door that only opened on one side. The area above and round it also had a wall, preventing me from getting through. There was a guardhouse about forty feet from the gate, and the gate was guarded by four guards on the wall. There must have been at least twelve in the compound. I knew this because four of them patrolled the nearby area during the day. They mostly inspected the walls that were not the main gate for any climbers, diggers, or any of the other sort of undesirable. Unfortunately, these ponies underestimated my human resilience.

I can go for days without sleeping. I know this because I have tested it before. I won't go into anymore detail, but it is not related to the... Incident.

Anyway, the shift rotation happened every eight hours. This was important, because this meant that there was about a fifteen to thirty minute rotation period at midnight, which is absolutely perfect for my purposes and intents. While they work at changing shifts, I can infiltrate and knock out all the soldiers in the barracks. Perhaps a sleeping gas bomb. Or, I could attempt to slip through with the carriage...

So many possibilities... I suppose I should wait until an opportunity presents itself. If none does, I suppose I'll just have to employ other means, such as a diversion, or a full-on assault. Either way, it'll make ends meet. But, killing Celestia's guards won't exactly make her cease her efforts to take me in. I should prepare to do this stealthily and without casualties, but expect it to go completely out of hand. After all, no plan survives contact with the enemy, as they say.

But, preparations come before execution, and I had a lot of preparation to do, and not a lot of time to do it in. I suspect I'll have a week and a half before Celestia catches up to me, maybe more if she's as slow as the American postal service.

Anyway, that's besides the point. Don't mind those splotches of dried blood on the last page, I just had a minor... Problem. You see, Celestia is already sending her agents abroad to track me down. It so happens that this particular one had some luck. He was quite clever, in deducing my identity anyway. He figured out who I was based on the Marlbucko cigarette butts that get flung around town when I'm about.

Unfortunately, he couldn't figure out where I lived in town, due to the multiple hotels that I walk by on a daily basis to go anywhere. I deduced his location, his identity, and his allegiance. Thankfully, I captured him alive. This is a transcript of the interrogation.

June 7th, 12:38 AM
Outskirts of Equestria, Carrion Region
Interrogation of Celestia's Agent, Crown Regal

A very dark room, with only small slits of moonlight slipping through the blinds. The sound of a rope swaying gently, and a snort as a dark figure awakens.

"Ah, you're finally awake. I was beginning to think you'd died of oxygen loss from the tape on your muzzle. That's fortunate news." A very muffled yell can be heard in the background.

"Are you quite done? I'll remove the tape if you're ready to co-operate." A faint sound of dripping, and then the sound of a heavy object swishing, almost like nodding. A sound of ripping, then some coughing.

"First question; how did you find me?" The cloaked figure asked, bandages under its hood shifting as it spoke.

"Pretty easy. You're the only "diamond dog" in this town that smokes Marlbucko. And actually speaks more than fifteen equestrian words." A voice replied to the cloaked figure's question.

"Very well. I'll keep that in mind. Second question; who are you and what are your orders?" The bandaged man spoke softly.

"Classified information, dipshit." A sound of a fleshy squelch, then a muffled scream.

"How about you answer the question without your sarcasm and I won't stab you in the other front leg, three-hoof?"

A sound of sniffling, then the pony answers. "Crown Regal. Ordered by Her Royal Majesty to investigate the outskirts of Equestria."

"See now, that wasn't so hard, now was it? Now, onto my third question. Does Celestia know I'm here?" The cloaked figure asked, in a sarcastic sort of tone.

"No." The pony replied simply.

"Alright... Fourth.. and fifth. Where do you live and how many guards are at the border?"

"I have room 4b at the Hearthooves hotel. Twelve."

"Best way to take out the border barracks?"

"There's a leaky gas pipe right underneath the edge of the left side of the barracks. Take a match to it, and it'll go up in flames in seconds. Bar the doors if you need to, you heartless bastard."

"I mean non-lethally. If possible."

The second voice went quiet for about a minute on the tape. "In my room there is a sleeping gas grenade."

"Very well. Your use has come to an end." The sound of a slitting throat, then the tape would end if this was a recording.

After wringing my hands out and cleaning my knives, I headed on over to the agent's apartment. Thankfully, he left his key in his coat like a dumbass. Speaking of the coat, the thing wasn't that bad. It was brown and much like my duster, except it had buttons and a hood on it. With a little bit of fitting, I could use it much better, but that was for later, when I got past the border. For now, I tucked the coat into my bag.

Anyway, trudging across town and through the alleys was easy and had the benefit of not drawing too much attention. Slipping my way past ponies and other creatures in the crowd was easy, and I blended quite well. I stepped out of the crowd, then silently entered the hotel. I ignored the creature manning the desk and headed upstairs, fourth floor up.

At the front door of this agent who tried to take me in's apartment, I inserted the key and unlocked it, slipping inside quickly. In the room, I noticed the spartan design of the place. Two lockers sat against one wall, and a bunk bed that was basically just a brick with a sheet on it was the main feature of the room. It had a desk, on which several sleep grenades and papers were scattered.

The two other rooms, the kitchenette and bathroom, were similar to the main room in that it was very bare bones, with only the essential features needed for each to be what they are. Making him think I didn't know where he was living was a good idea, this was a very good fake.

I walked over to the locker, then opened it easily. I punched in a three digit code, then watched as the back of the locker opened into a small room. I stepped down the mini-stairs. The marble floor clicked under my boots as I began exploring the room full of supplies and such. There was enough to survive a nuclear incident in here! I cracked open crates full of MREs and other such things, finding quite an abundance of Arcana magazines.

Finally, I opened the last crate, buried under the others. It had a very familiar weapon inside. The APAR MK3 lay in its case, a folded note laid neatly on top of the weapon.

It simply said, "Give him hell, Agent Regal. Also, if he ever manages to get it away from you, destroy it. This one doesn't have a tracking crystal." Well, that's very good news. A free rifle, no strings attached! Sure, I had to kill someone to get to it, but we all have to do regrettable things.

I callously stuffed papers into my cloak, uncaring whether they had importance or not. This was the perfect opportunity to cross the border. I decided that leaving tonight was the best course of action.