The Nightmare Within

The area around me was smooth, the air was balanced, the temperature not too high, the humidity just right, and not too hot or cold. The floor beneath me was hard, but comfortable. The atmosphere felt almost stagnant. It was peaceful, calming... or at least it would be if my heart wasn't pounding wildly, like I had just ran for my life. It would have been even better if I wasn’t moving around so much, especially with the fear quaking around me and the sweat dripping down my body like a rain forest.

"What is this feeling…?" I mumbled, pulling my hands away from my eyes.

I observed the area I was currently in; apparently, around me was a deep, yawning void surrounding the area. I spun around in place, but it was as empty as a cloudless night sky. No movement, no sound, just silence burning my eardrums. Just then, I heard footsteps behind me. I spun around, my pulse starting to rush, breathing and panting heavily as anxiety wracked my body. Calm down, Twilight! Nothing's wrong! Why are you so-

"Twilight."

That voice... Is that…?

"Sunset?" I took a cautious step forward. "...W-What're you doing out here?"

She took a glance towards the ground, then shut her eyes. She then swallowed as she looked back up at me, almost with a fearful look on her face.

"I’m sorry Twilight, but there’s no other way..."

"Sunset…? What’re you-”

As disturbingly level and smooth as her voice she moved towards me. Out of concern, I moved closer to her, wondering if something was wrong. As I stopped right in front of her, her right hand moved quickly towards my neck, clenched it as tightly as she could.

"I'm sorry, Twilight," she murmured, shaking her head. "It's for the best. It has to be done."

"Sunset!" I cried, trying to pry away from the iron grapple of her hands. "Wh-why are you- what are you doin-"

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Her grip tightened and I was suffocating, scrabbling at her arms.

"Why? T-tell me, Sun…why are you- ugh-"

"Don't speak, Twilight. Or rather, keep speaking, it will help you die faster." The grip tightened once again. "I want to savor this everlasting moment."

For some odd reason I was somehow still able to breath, but at this very moment, I felt like I was kicked in the stomach.

"Wh…what?"

Suddenly, an apologetic frown on her face slowly shifted into a sadistic grin. "Oh, yes, Twilight, I'm so very sorry it has to end so fast. I'd rather see you suffer."

"What are you-"

"Don't speak." She used her other hand to cover my face, depriving me of my surroundings. "Don't breathe. Scream for me, Twilight." Tears started to sneak out of my eyes, my heart racing even faster than ever before. "Or cry. Either one is good. Gasp for air, Twilight. This will be but a fraction of what you did to us at the Friendship Game."

"N-No. I-I didn't-"

"Mean to? Don't try to deny it, Twilight. Think about it. You can't ever take back the consequence that you’ve wrought upon everybody. You can't save anyone. You’re right by the way, it's all your fault. We almost died because of you, 'Friend'!"

I started to choke in terror more and more as the air that lingered within my body was ceasing to escape. My body started to tremble. "Please- I-I'm sorry- I never wanted-"

"How's it feel to be on the receiving end of our suffering?" she murmured, sliding in closer. "I'm sorry, but it's really the only way."

She laughed distortedly as I continued to stare into the vacant eyes of Sunset Shimmer. She cackled with joy as I finally heard the last, snapping pain in my neck. After that, all images of the scene crawled into the dark, cool, and soothing void.

. . .

I fully awoke with a scream of fear: desperately clinging to my neck accompanied with gagging and gasping for air. "Sunset!" I cried out, my tear stains all over my eyes.

No, please- ...no, It’s only a nightmare. I put my hands over my mouth, doing what I can to stifle out the cries, with all the shuddering coming out of my body like I was trapped in a tidal pool. I just need to wait out the night, that's all. I just needs to pull myself together, stay in bed, and wait until morning. You’re going to be okay, Twilight, you’re going to be okay. You're going to be fine... My thoughts suddenly made me jump as I realized that- now they’re going into overdrive. I'm feeling nauseous from all this. It's okay, Everything will be alright…

"No," I said, gasping as I stumbled upon opening the door.

At this point, I didn't care. I needed someone. I needed to know that everything was okay, that it was just a dream. Stumbling towards the other room, I clinged to my shirt as tightly as I could, using the wall I was leaning on as a guide. It felt like an eternity before I reached the door and I pushed it open.

"S-Sunset?" No response. "Sunset!"

The bed was empty and she was nowhere to be found. I felt myself getting the air choked out of me as I kept moving. I need to stay calm. I have to be calm. There has to be a reason behind all this. Just don’t freak out. I have to figure this out. It was useless. I was beginning to panic, realizing that I had no hope. My throat felt raw, my lungs were closing, and I didn't quite remember how I got to the bottom of the stairs, but here I was, shaking and quivering as I struggled to keep my head together, curling up back towards the wall and doing whatever I could to keep calm and rational. Time probably passed, not that it mattered much to me anyway. It wasn't until I heard a faint voice nearby that sounded very familiar to that ray of hope, shining before me.

"So you see, I, the Great and Awesome Sunset, savior of all that magic purveys. How's that?"

I made a gasping noise, as if signaling my distress. I fell to my knees, weak from exhaustion.

"Twilight? Twilight, are you okay?! What’s wrong?"

I tried to say her name, but the words barely left me, making a harsh breathy noise. She was too close, grabbing my shoulders, shaking me, asking what was wrong. I gratefully clutched to her shirt, shuddering in my grip. I heard a faint voice behind her somewhere, but due to my weary state of fear, I hardly glanced at it. It was all so random at this point.

"It's okay, I'm here, Twilight," she murmured soothingly. "It's alright. I’m here…"

"I'm sorry," I managed to cry out. "I know I'm a horrible person. I-I'm sorry…"

"What?" She whispered fiercely. "You're not horrible, Twilight. Why would you think you're a horrible person?"

“A-after what I did… The atrocities I committed… you should hate me. It’s because of my actions that lead me to almost hurt everyone, or worse... I could have...” I can’t stop it… she’s inside me! Just leave me alone! Those words I screamed in my mind. "I'm sorry- I'm- I'm a monster, a freak-" I struggled to regain control, but it all melted through my fingers like wax on a candle.

The harder I tried to fight for control, the shakier and weaker I became.

"No Twilight," she soothed. "You're not. You’re just a regular girl, like us."

"…Sunset, what’s going on?"

When I heard that, I froze, finally being able to get my bearings. The voice sounded raspy, but very similar to someone I know. I pulled away from her and looked straight up. When I did, I felt the flushed blood drip away from my facial features, making me look almost pale as I looked at who was right behind her.

"R…Rainbow Dash?" I whispered, trying to regain my composure.

Oh, God, I was getting hysterical. To complete my humiliating scene, I gave out an ugly hiccup, making the tears slow down a little. She averted her gaze but still focused on me. I couldn't face them in this state. I slowly got up and started to walk away from them.

"Don't go, Twilight," Sunset called. "Twilight-"

I didn't stick around. Doing whatever I could to keep myself as dignified as I could, tear-stained and otherwise shaking, I ran back to my room without stopping. I locked the door behind me and had my back against it, tears slowly coming out of my eyes once more. A few moments later, I heard some footsteps near the door. I had no idea what would happen next as they creeped up. I heard them speak through my door,

"Twilight… are you okay? Please come out."

I didn't respond. I just kept silent as they waited. I wonder what they think of me now...

"Yea. I didn't mean to scare you," Rainbow Dash mumbled.

I balled up, not once sparing the time to speak, and just simply groaned into my legs. Even if I was forgiven, I could never show my face to them, knowing that I showed myself in such a broken state. I had spent all my life, building up whatever lie that I could muster, creating whatever persona I felt like to avoid being shunned, and here I am now, breaking down in relentless tears where the only people who remotely care about me are a earshot away. I hardly even knew anyone else, even my own acquaintances don’t seem to have a hint of who I am. The only individual I could consider a friend before them was Spike. I couldn't bear a single idea to understand these emotions.

"Pathetic," a voice whispered to me. "Broken. Weak. Useless doll."

I tried to ignore it, her voice that echoed in my head, but she spoke again, this time louder than before.

"Did you really think they won’t hurt you? I can't believe how dumb you are to think they would ever trust a sap like you."

"I know that but... is it such a bad thing to hope? I don't think they're bad," I said, trying to make sense of the situation.

"When you are at your weakest, but we have all been there now, haven’t we?" Midnight asked, mocking me.

Of course. Everyone has their downfall at something. I'm no exception to this… "I-I know, but I didn’t mean to. I was just curious about the phenomenon… and after that happened, I… just wanted someone that was nice to me."

"What good can you do? You let people into your life, they'll burn you the first chance they get. Trust is nothing but a mirage of fallacies that have been bestowed upon you and everyone else time and time again. You, of all people should know how that feels. Humans are only familiar with pain and only use others for their own selfish, trivial needs," she said, filled with malice.

On the other side of the door, I could hear Sunset and Rainbow Dash talking, knocking once more. I kept hearing them speak.

"Well, Sunset, if you ask me, you should try and get her to talk. Friends should talk things out you know?" Rainbow Dash said with a hint of worry in her voice.

"…You're right." I heard a sigh from Sunset. "I…should've been more observant… I feel like I've been a bad friend."

I flinched at her statement missing the complete mark. Sunset? A bad friend? Just because she didn’t- Wait. Something doesn’t add up… What on earth were they doing at this time of night? And that comment… what was Rainbow Dash saying about to friends talking one another? I decided to swallow my pride, take a couple deep breaths, and swung the door open before they could react. They were looking right at me, filled with surprise. It was then I started to have second thought about what I was doing. I don’t know what made me think this was a good idea. I felt mesmerized, standing up as tall as I could straight up, and gave them complete eye contact, despite my mind telling me to look away, my mouth opening up to speak. I really should have thought this through before making such a reckless choice... If I just outright ask what they were doing, that would make me sound like I was snooping in on them. It would seem like I was in a pinch at this point. Still, the realization that I made has forced me to stand there like a schoolgirl, with my mouth wide open, lacking any vocals to speak.

"…Twilight?" Rainbow Dash murmured, clearing her throat and glancing my way.

I had no idea to respond to her statement. It was like talking to a piece of gum. Once I looked at those two, there was no escape.

"Um..." Was all I was able to say. Great opening line, idiot. Always acting before thinking, as usual... After a few more seconds of silence, I managed to come up with a coherent sentence. "Uh... I just want to know, Sunset, don't get the wrong idea, I was just… wondering… what were you doing earlier?"

Sunset looked flustered and Rainbow Dash shared a glance but said nothing.

"…Ah, about that," she started, sounding a little restrained. "I was… trying a catch phrase and after hearing Trixie's, I wanted to see if I could catch that same ‘spark’."

"’Spark’?"

"Y-Yea, it's pretty stupid and I have no idea how or why I came up with that," she replied with a slight laugh.

I glanced over to Sunset. It's not the strangest thing that I have ever come across, but right now, I felt a little better, laughing a little as a result.

"Alright," I replied, doing whatever I could to keep myself calm. "Oh. So that's what you girls were doing?"

"Exactly, Twilight," Rainbow Dash chimed in. "We’re just trying to-"

"But more importantly, how are you holding up?" Sunset asked, in a concerned manner. "You look exhausted. You wanna talk to me about something?"

I was flushing even further, beginning to lose whatever control that I had left.

"Y-Yeah… I-I’m doing well… There’s no need to worry about me, I’m just…" Why can’t I stop stuttering? I might as well have a cap that says ‘Dunce’. "I’m just trying to-”

"Oh, would you two stop dancing around the subject?" Rainbow Dash put her hands on her hips. "It's pretty obvious something's wrong. Please talk to us, Twilight." I flinched at her sudden statement, gritting my teeth.

“Listen… I’m just having a rough night. Between school and what happened at the Friendship Games, that's bad enough-"

"Twilight, what happened?" Sunset asked gently. "What's causing you to be like this?"

Immediately, I turned away from them to stare at a wall. I felt too embarrassed to look at them any further.

"I-I was just- I was only having a nightmare. There’s nothing to-"

"Nothing? From the way you were reacting towards me, that's far from the truth,” she answered in a blunt manner.

Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow, turning her gaze from her to me. I really, really regretted going out that door. Sunset glanced down at her fingers and folded them together. "Twilight, that wasn't nothing. You looked…terrified, not to mention you’re sweating and even twitching. We don't think any less of you because of what happened."

"Can't... can't we just wait until-" I stated, trailing off once again in an anxious stupor

Sunset shot a quick glance towards Rainbow Dash, who gave her an imperceptible nod. She turned and took a deep breath.

"No, Twilight, this is something we need to deal with now."

I couldn't help but groan in irritation.

"But…I already wasted enough of your time…can't we just forget that this ever happened…?"

"No!" Sunset shouted. "Please Twilight? I want to help you overcome whatever problem is making you act this way, but if you won't let me, then I will have to stay here until you do."

"B-but I'm fine now," I replied, giving her a somewhat passable, yet shaky smile. "Can’t you see?"

"I'm sorry that I have to do this, Twilight. This is something we can't turn a blind eye to even if you asked us to.”

I focused whatever I could to hold back a gasp coming out of my body, only coming out with a shudder. There's nothing I can do, Sunset... That cold gaze glared into my eyes… the smirk forming and twisting on her face... I felt myself losing control over my breathing again, but it was just too much for me to bare.

"Twilight?" she asked in concern. "Twilight?!"

I snapped out of my thoughts, looking back up at her, albeit, with difficulty. Still… Her cold eyes… that twisted smile… the dark feeling that was emitting from all over her.

"Yes. It was a dream," I said, grinning and shrugging. Okay, it was a bad dream. I knew how to keep myself in check and making sure that everything goes well but in reality, I wanted to curl up and scream myself into oblivion. I put my hands right into my pockets to keep the shaking from getting worse. "But, uh, can we please talk about-"

"Twilight, stop lying to me! I just want to help you with what’s happening."

I glared at my feet. Couldn't they sense the dark energy? Can’t they actually feel the tension cracking all around us? It would be too easy to just turn a blind eye to it all. At least I know how to do that.

"…How about you two talk upstairs," Rainbow Dash broke in gently. "I could make you two something to drink. It's better to talk things out, you know?" she gave a smile that came off as sheepish. "That's what I do at my finest; Talk to people that are in need. Always going and helping as though you're sinking in quicksand." She then turned around and went straight for the kitchen.

"…Alright," I mumbled reluctantly.

Sunset nodded and went inside my room saying,

"Let's talk about this, Twilight. I hope that we can find a way to resolve this dilemma you’re having."

I watched as she slowly went inside the room. I then turned my gaze back to the floor and sighed.

"Twilight," Rainbow Dash called softly.

"Um, yeah?" I responded, wincing as I braced myself in preparation for a poorly planned but respectable attempt at trying to help me that only Rainbow could pull off.

"Perhaps Sunset could be of better help than me. I'm not so good at this sort of thing anyway…"

"Uh, Rainbow Dash… Thanks." She smiled and turned towards me.

"What are friends for? Now go and talk to her. She's a very good person. It wouldn’t be friend-like to leave her hanging."

Having heard this, I nodded and she turned away, walking towards the stairs.

"Yeah, I know," I sighed, turning toward the room. "Can I ask you a favor...?"

"Yea?"

"Um, can I ask that you pretend this never happened?"

"You don’t have to worry. Your secret is safe with me."

I smiled and silently thanked her. She smiled back and walked downstairs to give us some alone time with one another. I looked inside the room and I could see Sunset just sitting there, waiting for me.

"Are you sure you can trust them? Maybe you should just play hard to get. It’s not too late to simply run away," Midnight said advisedly, albeit with cruelty.

No... I can't keep running away from this. Maybe they won't hurt me. Maybe I can trust them. They could help me out of this rut.

"Fine. But when they turn against you, don't say I didn't warn you."

As she said that, she stopped completely. I looked at Sunset who was simply waiting for me to speak to her. I shrugged and leaned up against the wall on the opposite side from her. She was sitting on the bed, fumbling with the sheets. There was a loud, glaring silence.

"…Twilight," She repeated softly. "You know can talk to me if there's anything wrong.”

"I know, I know that you think that I'm keeping secrets from you." I smiled. "But I'm OK now. Really. I was only having a-"

"Your tears and voice suggest otherwise," she objected. "I-I was very worried! Even I didn’t know what to make of what was going on!"

I really couldn’t believe what she was telling. I could barely look at her without cringing back. My heart was pounding, my hands felt cold.

"Sunset, there’s no need to-"

"Please talk to me about your dream,” she pleaded. "Don't keep me in the dark."

Dark, cold, scary- I started shaking with more vigor, the smile becoming much harder to maintain.

"It was just a dumb dream," I tried to say, but my voice gave out before I even started. My voice produced this soft mumble that sounded like what I had intended, albeit vaguely.

She waited patiently, a small, sad frown on her face. I caused that. She’s here, worried about me, but I'm the reason why all of this is happening. I almost hurt the ones I call my friends. I don't… want to hurt anyone. This image, the one from my dream, is starting to grip my mind. She ran towards me, strangling, speaking to me with this empty apology coupled by that hollow smile on her face- this smile is familiar, but where do I know from? I know that I’ve seen it from someone, but so icy?

"Twilight?"

My breathing was out of control again. I was losing control, when I had fought really hard to keep this monster in check.

"N-No. It's nothing, I-I…"

"Don't fight it, Twilight. You can't win this war. They think you're a monster. You don't deserve to be beside them," Midnight said with this devilish smile on her face.

"I-I just- I don't think I can- It's silly- you wouldn't understand if I-"

"Twilight, it's okay. I won’t hurt you. It won’t hurt you. I promise that everything will be okay."

Just a dream... but it felt so real, so coincidental.

"Tell her. Hurt her one more time, Twilight. You know you know want to," Midnight said, giggling with sadistic glee.

"I had this dream where I was… killed by you," I cried out with my entire body trembling at effect.

Her eyes immediately widened up in surprise, and for a minute, she appeared to be devastated.

"Nice one. Now she'll show you what I've been talking about. About what she was hiding from you."

"I'm sorry," I whispered, unable to bring my voice any higher."I can’t figure out why… Just, please don’t be upset with me. I know you would never do that to me. It's not that I'm scared of you, it’s just that-"

"I know, Twilight."

She leapt forward and went to me, hugging me tightly. I flinched away from her and squirmed in her embrace, one of the few people that I held dear. What’s wrong with me?

"I'm sorry," I gasped, pressing my face into her shoulder.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for. Dreams aren’t real, Twilight. They're illusions, things that appear in your mind. It's okay to not understand."

"I know but..." I repeated.

It's all I could really say. Tears were pouring out of my eyes with my breathing starting to shake through my soft, warm pajamas.

"I think that you’re scared of something. Something that has been eating away at you in your dreams. Do you have any idea what it could be?”

I knew who she was but I couldn't utter the name... the part of me that was holding it back. Why is she doing this? What could Midnight possibly gain by harming me? I could feel her hands, wrapping their way ever so tightly around my neck, more than ready to snap away the failure that I am. That feeling gave me a chill that crawled away at my spine. I could see that Sunset was waiting for an answer, but I couldn't speak. I was still shivering and sobbing into her shoulder.

"Don't worry, Twilight. With me around, you have nothing to worry about. I will be staying with you tonight. You can sleep and we can talk more about it in the morning."

I hesitated for a few seconds as I looked at her unevenly and remind myself that here, she is not trying to hurt or strangle me and that there is nothing to be afraid of. Logically it makes sense. I gave her a nod gratefully, with most of my fears dying away. She lead me to the bed and laid me down, nodding me off to sleep.

"Don't worry," she repeated, smiling a little now. "I will stay here and make sure that nothing bad happens to you."

"T-Thanks, Sunset. I'm... feeling tired," I whispered.

I didn't realize until my eyes were closed how tired I was. It was a long night of regret that I unhooked from my mind. The brief respite of calm was a feeling I welcomed very openly. Still, it’s not over. I need to worry about Midnight next.