The Nightmare Within

This is my fault. I keep hiding from people, myself and for what? To satisfy some monster? They trust me yet… I keep brushing them away. It was clearly pathetic. After what felt like ages, we arrived at my house. We went upstairs into my room and I sat her down, handing her a towel. My room was slightly warmer, with the heater on level three, but it still held a stagnant, tense atmosphere that made me want to shiver. I opened the drawer above my lamp without a bulb and gently slid open the window. There were a few blankets and such hiding the treasure, a small, purple book with a lock on it.

"What…what is this? Some sort of diary?" She asked curiously, observing the journal.

"It's everything I've written down since the Friendship Games." I said, my words slightly more firm than intended. "Take a look inside."

She turned the pages, eyes wide with confusion. She stopped at a random page and began to read out loud.

"Dear Journal,

I don't know what is happening to me. If my last entry is right, these dreams could be leading towards something. Something that can ultimately change the world... I had no doubt in my mind that something bad is/has/will happen to me. But the real question is how can I change this predicament?"

She looked up in shock after reading the entry. She was really spooked. "Twilight…what is this?"

"Keep reading."

She frowned and held her gaze for a moment longer, then turned her eyes back down to the pages.

"Date- August 9th. Time-2:28 AM. This time she's being persistent. I don't know how much longer I can handle this. I want to tell someone, anyone about this but I don’t want anyone coming in harm’s way and I'm a little scared- no, terrified of the outcome should anyone know about this. It was like a horror movie come to life."

She gave a significant pause, eyes scrolling the rest of the entry. She looked up, about to ask something, before she looked at me. She hastily continued reading.

"Date-August 15th. Time-7:39 PM. She won’t listen to me. If you're reading this, then that means the worse has happened and I've lost control. Don't trust her. She'll use you and everything until you are nothing but a quantum effect that has never been known to have existed."

I couldn't help but notice how she skipped over the next few sections. I’m feeling nervous about this. Could I really tell her...? I guess I’ll have to wait until she’s finished.

"Date - August 19th. Time - 3:53 AM. I managed to suppress her actions for sometime but at a cost… She set a dream on me and in that dream, she's killed everyone I know. She's flying around like a demon from hell, searching every corner for leftover surviving victims to kill. There's so much carnage, so many atrocities that are indescribable, yet I see everything. I don't know why she enjoys this but I need to find a way to suppress her actions. The experiments I've tried, everything ranging from sleeping pills to anesthesia and even caffeine, were all in vain as she not only kept tormenting me both during the day and night but she uses her magic to put me rosewood with ease... The chances of trying to stop her are slowly slipping away... I fear that she’ll take me over sooner or later..."

"Date- August 21. Time-4:21AM. A day before going over to Sunset’s place, I had another dream. It was set after the Friendship Games, my friends appeared in each version. First was Rarity, and then Applejack, Pinkie, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and most recently, Sunset... They all hurt me in different ways, rather it would be physically, mentally or by other means of torture, saying things like I’m a freak, a monster and don't deserve friends like me and a nobody. At first, I was able to suppress it, push it aside and nullify the abuse. But then… the last part of my ‘dream’, Sunset was the one that finally broke me... For some reason, it wasn’t her actions... but her words that stung the most... ‘I could never be friends… with the likes of you.”

She drew her finger down the page. "T-then there's…" she took a second to count, "eighty-five tally marks."

I nodded, not mentioning the number of times that I’ve written about the nightmares. I also didn’t include the fact that the tally marks were meant for the many times that I’ve encountered Midnight in my nightmares, or that I’d actually include the occasions where I would die more times than I bother to count, along with the fact that I’ve gotten sick of marking the events of encountering said dreams. I couldn’t help but hope that she would just turn to the next page. A happier one, maybe, something to ease her worrying about me. Or at least read a part where I’ve spent some good time with them. Whichever one.

"Twilight… you've… died in your dreams?"

I nodded softly. "There are so many things that I need to explain, Suns. From how everything happened to why I hadn't told anyone. But before I can do that, I need you to get to the end of this. Once you do, I will tell you everything.” I took a deep breath as she nodded and went back to reading. While she was doing that, I added, “Sometime I would be able to control them, and other times, they would take control of me. At best, she would only inflict minor damage to me. At worst, she would try and take control of me during the day. My 'dreams' would loop day in and day out, making it difficult for me to even sleep at times... Every time I fall asleep, I have to re-live the entire experience all over again..."

I felt pent up rage building up inside me, a rage I wasn't aware existed and suddenly, it would all just burst like a volcano. "You see why I keep secrets?! Do you see why I can’t tell you or anyone else?! Why I shield myself from everyone and everything?! I can't even look at you without feeling any sort of negative emotion! Every night I have to fall asleep and this happens to me! This is something I need to do by myself! Otherwise, I'll... lose my consciousness or worse... kill everyone. And I don't want that to happen... especially to you..."

With that last sentence out of my mouth, I finally felt something inside me snap and the rivers flow forth as I collapsed and tears started to flow, no longer holding back the pain and sadness I was feeling. She dropped the book and caught me as I dropped to my knees, finally venting all my emotion.

"Twilight!"

"S-see? I couldn't tell you that," I cried, struggling to regain my composure. "I couldn't tell anyone that. Nobody close to me. It's just easier if I..." My voice trailed off and I held my arm up to my face, crying silently to the point where even she couldn’t hear me. Her expression was less than adamant. “...To tell you the truth, I had planned on… taking my life should it get any worse…” At that moment, I looked away from her, unable to even speak or come up with a coherent sentence…

I felt her hand grab onto my chin, moving it towards her face. I had no idea what she was gonna do. Then she looked at me, “That's all the more reason why you should've come to us. We won’t hurt you. We would do whatever we can to help. You don’t have to hide anything from us… We- no… I won't let that happen. I swear that I will do everything in my power to save you, even if it takes me an eternity to defeat Midnight Sparkle,” she said with a small smile and a hug.

I looked away from her, trying again to hide whatever shame that I had left. I didn't know how to respond to that. It was like speaking to a wall. She was so determined that even Fluttershy wouldn’t know how to justify this. In truth, I was afraid… “But what if the others are unable to help? What if we are the only two left?”

"Then we’ll use it against her," she whispered. "In… this book the other Twilight gave me… write a note. Tell her everything about what has happened. Tell me what we are going to do next."

"I c-can't," I spluttered shakily. "How can I explain this to anyone else when I can't understand it myself?"

"It's what I want, Twilight," she murmured. She was taking this a lot better than I expected. "Don't look so surprised. I… I always knew there was something going on with you. I always had this feeling that something was gnawing away at you, but you are stronger than this, Twilight."

"What?"

"Your dreams… they’re not real. Sometimes I get that there is such a thing as a total coincidence. I know that things get rough when you are reminded of the horrible things that you did. Not to mention I… catch glimpses of your dreams but there's no way that I should know that. I…I sometimes, on rare occasions, I'm in your dreams, unable to do anything about it…”

I flinched at this revelation, a shuddering crawling around my whole body. "I'm sorry, Sunset, I'm so sorry…"

She pitched forward and encased me in a hug. "You don't have to be sorry. We can work together now."

"B-But she could come around any day now," a gulp of air broke the sentence, "and… what if I lose control of her and she… takes over?"

"Well, I guess we’ll have nothing to lose then. What do you say, friend?"

"I can't. No matter what I say or do, she won't back down."

"By yourself sure but what about together? I'm sure with a little bit of kindness and friends, She'll eventually pull through."

I struggled to figure out the answer, tightening the hug even more. "I- I don’t… How can we ever figure this out?"

"Even if it doesn't, we can keep going and keep trying. Don't you see? I’m not going to abandon you."

Oh, Sunset... Only you could put a positive spin on the darkest of topics.

"She may see it this way," I took a deep breath as she continued to speak. "But I won’t give up, and we won't stop until we have defeated Midnight. I won't quit until she is no longer a threat. Until you’re completely free from her. You may not be able win this all alone, but… With me, Rainbow Dash and all our friends, We'll find a way. We have the one thing that she doesn't… Friendship."

"It's complicated to explain but… I’ll face my demon and tell them what I've told you. Will you help me explain everything to them?"

She hugged me even harder as her voice choked. "Of course I will. You can always count on me and… I'm sorry. I…I should've noticed much sooner but-"

"Sshh," I said breathing softly. "It's okay. You couldn't have known..."

We sat there in my room for what felt like ages. It was all too much to make up for. After we finished making up, we started trying to formulate a plan It took us all day, but we may came up with a way to get rid of Midnight. We decided that we would use my amulet to transport ourselves into her world and if it’s necessary, we'll have to battle her.

"You have nothing to worry about, Twilight. I promise I'll always be here for you. As long as there's a breath left in my body, I will not go down without a fight."

Taking a deep breath, I nodded and reached for the book she was talking about.

"Wanna help me write this one, Sunset?"

She offered a huge smile and sat right beside me. "Ready when you are."

We opened the book together with my pen in hand. We took at the next page on the right, filled with determination. We started on the first page and with her hand over mine, we wrote,

"Dear Princess Twilight,

Me and the Twilight from this world are planning on descending into her own subconscious. There is an evil entity that lingers within her. The same one that had emerged during the friendship games. We have no idea how we will be able to beat her, but we need to do it. If we don’t stop, she’ll take over our world, then yours. I- no... we hope you can respond back as soon as possible."

Sincerely, Sunset & Twilight

After we finished writing our entry, I closed the book and put it in the drawers. I was so surprised that she's going so far to help me, even after everything I did... I looked up at her and felt nothing but uncertainty. "…Can I ask you something...?" I asked, feeling a little fidget.

She nodded and looked directly at me. "Sure. What is it?"

I took a long, very deep breath, the silence suffocating the air around us. After gaining the courage to to speak up, I ask,

"...Why are you going so far for somebody like me? What is it about me that you find so worth saving? How can you forgive me for being something so monstrous?"

She stood there in silence. At first, I thought she was gonna frown at me and tell me to hurry up. Then she said this,

"That's easy. It's because we are the same. We were both monsters. We have went through so much of our loneliness. And they helped me see what I had done was wrong. Granted, the roles we played are different and alter to some degree but... in a way, we’ve just went through similar phases and… we just complete each other. But the most important reason of all is… you are the sister that I would kill to have, and you are too irreplaceable to say otherwise, now that we have come this far."

I blushed slightly as she said that. What did she mean by all that? This doesn’t make any sense. "W-What?" I asked unsure how to respond.

She let go of my hand and turned towards the window. I followed her eyes to the window and it was still snowing. Not as bad as before but it was still snowing… I didn’t realize she was how determined to help me… I saw her shift over to the bed, and put her hand on my left cheek. “I'm just going to get something to drink. You want anything?”

She shook her head at my question. I guess that we’re gonna be heading. This is only a matter of time. I look out to the screen door and see the one person I didn't want to see.

“You actually believe that she will help you? You're really grasping at straws here aren't you?” she asked, completely perplexed.

“I don't need this… you won't deter me from regaining my life,” I said with a hint of anger escaping my lips.

She seemed to notice this as she was observing our next steps. Looked like she was enjoying it. “Oh? Did I strike a nerve into that teeny, tiny, little brain of yours? You really are naive,” she said in a mocking tone. She had her hand up, flames coming out of it like a magic show. “It amazes me how you actually believe this creature... I would think you would wise up and turn her away, but it appears I was sadly mistaken.” She said with a small hint of ignorance and anger. Doesn’t seem like she’ll be backing down. She took a deep breath and continued. “So you really think the power of Friendship can stop me? That implies you had friends to begin with.”

The mark of cynicism and sarcasm really struck hard. No one could really match her wit…

“You may be right about me and having no idea of what I will getting into. But… I have someone to watch my back. You are not pushing me around anymore. I won’t let you push me around like how you did with me at the Friendship Games. I deny your existence, Midnight Sparkle!” I yelled as a bit of magic came fourth and pushed her back slightly.

I covered my mouth as I noticed a shocked look on her face. However, that was short lived as she developed this devilish grin on her face. She doesn’t seem to be pleased by my sudden aggression.

“So you have suddenly decided to grow a spine, huh? I’d applaud you for your sudden outburst of courage but I’m not a fan of rebels like you. I can’t have you suppressing me again so… I will have no choice but to obliterate you.” As she was about to hurl a ball of cyan fire at me, she stopped, effectively catching me off guard. She added, “No… Perhaps this could be an event worth playing…” The ball of fire dissolved from her hand, the once angry Midnight had stopped her action, placing her hand down as she said, "I’ll let you have your freedom for now. But know this. When you come after me, you will wish I had took over you. I’ll be waiting.”

And with those final words, she disappeared from view. What did I just do? Where did all this bravado come from? I ran back upstairs to find Sunset. I look around my house for her and see her on the bed, tucked away in a blanket, fast asleep and with a faint smile on her face. She’s still here. Maybe she’s just an illusion… No, I don’t know for sure. She could be real. Just what does it matter anyway? Either way, we’ll know once morning arrives. For now, I need to rest…