Twijacked

by Pozzo

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Trixie, Random, Twilight Sparkle, Anthro
Length: 12940

Trixie gets her revenge on Twilight by stealing her body. Twilight is left as a brain in a jar. How will she get out of this one? A comedy story with multiple endings!

Trixie has waited patiently for her revenge, and now she has it. She has succesfully traded Twilight Sparkle’s brain with her own, assuming the latter’s life. Twilight has been trapped in a jar, helpless and alone. Can she escape? What is Trixie planning? Will her friends learn the truth? Contains multiple endings, going from the worst to the best. Contains anthro ponies and weird humour.

This was a request from Airship-King who also helped edit the story and generally brainstorm it (Haha! Obvious puns)

Coverart is a drawing by Airship King on which this story is based. Colouring is by Nomsar, who kindly let me use his version as the cover.

Published 2017-06-05 23:30:06 UTC
Last updated 2017-06-13 23:11:51 UTC

Twijacked

Twilight Sparkle had a lot of time to think these days, now that she was just a brain in a jar.

Sometimes she thought about the big things in life-why are we here, where are we going, and so on. The classic kind of stuff that smart, inward-looking people get to thinking about when they were alone at night. Other times she thought of the not so little things, like why the word “abbreviated” was so long, or if there was another word for synonym (there was). And of course she thought about her friends, her family, her mentor, and all of the people that she cared deeply for in her life.

But most of the time she was thinking about Trixie. About what she was doing now, or if she was nearby, or if she would see her again soon. Taken out of context, it might seem as if Twilight was rather besotted with the blue unicorn. But the truth was that Twilight Sparkle had rather more pragmatic reasons to be wondering these thoughts. She was about to have those questions answered. The door to her bedroom swung open, and in walked Twilight Sparkle.

Well, it certainly looked like Twilight. Same purple fur and neat, indigo mane and tail, with that tell-tale natural streak of pink running through it. Same unicorn horn, same gleaming purple eyes, and the same small stature, albeit with a generous bust sticking out from under her shirt. To the casual observer, it simply was her, and for a split second Twilight herself thought that she was looking at herself through another ponies eyes.

But she knew that this wasn’t true. She was Twilight Sparkle, after all, and there was only one of her. And if you looked closely, you could see the little clues that something was off. Her body language was all off. Usually, the bookish purple unicorn held herself with a sort of quiet, unassuming manner. But this Twilight Sparkle swaggered into the room with a projected confidence and a Cheshire cat grin. The imposter walked up to Twilight as if she owned the place. Which, in a sense, she did.

“Oh, good evening, Sparkle,” said the Not-Twilight. “How are we feeling today? Damp? Hahaha!” she laughed, in a voice that was definitely the voice of the lavender unicorn, but with a degree of haughtiness that would seem so unfamiliar to those who knew her. The doppelganger summoned up a chair and sat down in front of Twilight, who simply stared straight ahead. Not that she had a choice.

“I was just catching up on your dear friends there.” Continued Not-Twilight, in a mockingly casual way. “Or should I say my friends, now? They certainly didn’t seem to notice a difference. Neither does your pet dragon…Spike, isn’t it? He certainly seemed to answer to it when I was talking to him just there.” She laughed to herself before restraining herself, a nasty glint in her eyes. “Does that depress you, Sparkle? That your dim-witted friends can’t even tell you from me…the Great and Powerful Trixie?!”

Twilight said nothing, as Trixie laughed manically in front of her. She soon stopped, frowning.

“Hmmph, this isn’t a fun if I can’t hear you.” She commented. Trixie’s horn-or rather, Twilight’s horn-glowed purple, and Twilight felt a now sadly familiar jolt of electricity run through her. Then she spoke. Not physically, because in her current condition that was impossible. But her thoughts could now at least be heard by her captor.

“Trixie, you let me out of this jar right now or else I’ll…I’ll-“

“Or else what, Sparkle? You’ll get my nice new clothes wet?” said Trixie, indicated the clothes that she had appropriated from Twilight’s wardrobe. “Although they are a bit plain for Trixie’s tastes. Isn’t the white one a fashion designer? I’ll have to go find some grander garments, now that we’re such good, close friends…”

“They’ll figure it out eventually!” said Twilight, with utmost sincerity. “And when they do, it’ll be you in the jar!”

“Yes, you tell yourself that Sparkle.” Replied Trixie, waving a hand dismissively as she produced a packet of salted nuts from somewhere, and started to nibble away at them. She looked at the jar in front of her and shrugged. “I’d share, of course, but I think it would be bad for you. I’ll have to find some fish-flakes for you to eat.”

“No thank you. And answer me this: What happens if someone finds your body lying around without a brain in it?

“Oh, please. You think I’d leave that old, beautiful, actually not old thank you very much thing lying around? Trixiiiieeee!”

The door opened again, and in walked Trixie Lulamoon, resplendent in her usual starry cape and hat. Twilight didn’t have a jaw, but if she did it would have dropped open in shock.

“Hello, Trixie! And hello, Sparkle.” Said the new Trixie, as Twilight’s head spun (metaphorically speaking). “Surprised to see me?”

“Well….yes! How! You’re in my body, not yours!” cried Twilight. “Answer me!” the new Trixie continued to stare at the brain in the jar, before turning to the original Trixie.

“Can she speak like that?”

“Oh, I forgot. No, she can’t. Here, let me include you in the chat.” Said Trixie 1, her horn glowing purple again. “Ooh this is fun, isn’t it? Can you hear her now, oh Great and Powerful Trixie?”

“She better!”

“Oh yes, I heard that alright. My my, feeling grouchy are we, Sparkle?” asked Trixie 2, with a smug grin that perfectly matched the one on “Twilight’s” face. “Oh, this is a sight the Great and Powerful Trixie will never forget!”

“Oh yes, nor will the Great and Powerful Trixie!” said the Great and Powerful Trixie, as they both laughed an identical laugh.

“Just tell me how you managed to be in my head as well as your own, at the same time!” asked Twilight. “And stop referring to yourselves in the third person, it’s confusing when there’s two of you.”

“Well, my unenlightened friend, it was foal’s play” said Trixie 1, wrapping her arm around the blue unicorn’s shoulders in a familiar, friendly manner. “All you need is some special water from a certain magical pool…”

Twilight gasped, mentally. “The mirror pool?! But the entrance was sealed!”

“Was it? I found it rather easy to get in. Then again, I am the Great and Powerful-“

“Okay, okay, get to it already.” Interrupted Twilight, annoyed. Both of the Trixie’s harrumphed, and the one that at least looked like Trixie moved closer to Twilight’s jar as the Twilight impersonating Trixie continued.

“Yes, once I had a jar of the stuff, all I needed to do was cut the top of my own head off, flip my extremely beautiful brain into the stuff, and voila! Two Trixie brains.”

“But…the pool can only replicate minds to a simple degree! I’ve seen it work!” said Twilight, bubbling slightly in her jar as she “spoke”. “That would only work if the mind it was cloning was…very…uh…”

“Yes?” said Trixie, still smiling but with an edge to her voice. “If my mind was very what?”

“…simple?”

Trixie scowled in a way that Twilight thought she would never see her own face do. Then, suddenly, Twilight yelped as she felt her jar being picked up by Trixie 2, who swirled her around in there like she was an olive in a martini glass. By the time she was set back down again, Twilight felt vaguely sea sick.

“Be careful with that tongue, Sparkle.” Warned Trixie. Twilight thought about pointing out her lack of any actual tongue with which to be careful with, before thinking against it, still feeling a bit queasy. Trixie 1 coughed into her hand and continued.

“Anyway, at this point, I had two perfect brains, and my revenge plan was almost ready. I just needed to do the swap itself. Which was, well…embarrassingly easy, really.”

Twilight fell silent, partly with embarrassment, as she thought back to yesterday. It had been a day like any other, in that she had been reading a book. A really good one, with romance and intrigue and lots and lots of historical detail. In fact it had been so engrossing that Twilight had somehow failed to notice that someone was using magic to saw the top of her head off. It was only when Twilight had turned her head to ask Spike something and there was Trixie, holding Twilight’s freshly detached skullcap in her hands. Before she could register what was going on, Trixie’s horn had glowed, and for a split second Twilight had felt an odd pulling sensation deep within. Then everything had went black.

“And now, here I am.”

“Here WE are.” Added Trixie 2, going back to her original’s side and locking arms. “Taking our revenge. And there’s nothing…”

“Absolutely nothing…”

“…that you can do about it.” They finished, in tandem, before giggling at each other with clear satisfaction. Twilight again said nothing. Until Spike or her friends figured out the scheme, there really was nothing she could do, other than hope that they didn’t flush her down the toilet or something equally bad. Trixie 2 picked Twilight’s jar up again and whisked her over to the wardrobe roughly shutting her inside.

“Sweet dreams, Sparkle. I’m sure we’ll have lots of fun over the next rest of your life or so. Night!”

The door slammed shut, leaving Twilight in darkness.

Days passed, though the passing of time was hard to definitively measure for the captive brain of Twilight Sparkle. Hours could pass without any sort of sensory stimulus, trapped in a dark wardrobe all alone. On a few occasions she could faintly make out a light steps on the wooden floor of her room-Spike, presumably. But she was completely unable to make her presence felt, and after a while the sound of his claws on the ground would fade away completely.

Twilight did not even have the luxury of dreaming at night. Whatever solvent she was floating in apparently prevented it, as a precaution in case Princess Luna were to try and communicate with Twilight in the realm of dreams. She could still sleep, which was a small mercy, but given that she was floating in darkness for large periods of the day, it only meant that the flow of time was further obscured.

In a certain way, then, Twilight would actually feel relief when the wardrobe door was opened and a pair of hands would yank her out of her hiding spot. It wouldn’t last long, of course, but it was something. The Trixies would enjoy having a good old gloat at her expense, leaving her jar in the room and filling Twilight in on how Trixie’s new life as the Element of Magic was going, and what her friends were up to.

“I’ve let everyone know that the Great and Powerful Trixie is now my good, close friend, and that we will be sharing accommodations for a while.” The original Trixie had told her, one night. “The girls are…well, still warming to her. But they will, in time.”

“If they don’t…” said the other Trixie, lounging on the bed in a very low cut silver corset. “Well, perhaps they’ll join you in that cosy little wardrobe. Or would you rather share a jar? They’d be enough room, I’m sure, because I don’t imagine their brains would be terrible big.” The thought filled Twilight with a horrid dread-either her friends would fall for the ruse, or be captured and disembodied like she was. Where would this all stop? What was Trixie’s ambition? All these questions were laughed off by the Trixies.

“Oh, we don’t make plans, do we Trixie?” said Trixie 1.

“Not at all. We simply take what we want, when we want it. Perhaps we’ll visit Celestia some time, if we get tired of your life. It must be nice to live in a big castle like that.”

“You wouldn’t dare!” said Twilight. “Princess Celestia would never fall for such a trick. Neither would Princess Luna!”

“I bet you thought the same, Sparkle. And look at you now.” Replied the original Trixie, who opened up the jar and fished Twilight out as if to make good on her word and take a proper look at her. “So small, fragile and helpless. It suits you.”

“Let me go!” cried Twilight. Whenever she was outside of her jar, her vision went black-it must be enchanted in some way. Outside of its confines, she could still hear the two Trixie’s thoughts thanks to the telepathic link established between the three of them, but she was deaf to anything else. The only sense she retained was touch, as she felt the warm touch of her own bodies hands on her lobes, holding her in a firm grip. She desperately wanted to wiggle free, but even moving was essentially impossible. She truly was helpless.

“Catch, Trixie!” said her captor, and Twilight squirmed as she felt herself sail through the air, only to be caught by a equally firm grip. This continued at an alarming pace for a few minutes, the genius brain now reduced to a mere toy in the hands of the Trixies. The throwing eventually slowed down until one of them (it was now impossible to tell who) was content to lazily toss Twilight up and down in the palm of her hand. When they finally grew bored of her, Twilight was mercifully put back in her jar and stored away safely in the wardrobe for the night.

This was only the start of the games that the Trixies would play on her. One time they had filled her jar with ice cubes, causing the most literal case of brain-freeze Twilight had ever experienced. Another time, they had produced a collection of what looked rather like sewing pins and had indulged in a little acupuncture. “You seem so tense” Trixie had told her, as she had inserted yet another sharp pin into the side of the brain. “The brain is one big muscle, Trixie is told. This aught to do the trick!”

After what seemed to Twilight about a week, they bought a goldfish for her jar. While it was nice to have a little company, or at least company that wasn’t sticking sharp objects into your flesh or otherwise degrading you, the poor thing wasn’t exactly stimulating conversation. At first she had feared that it would nibble on her brain meats, but those fears proved unfounded. It was content to swim around aimlessly around the brain in the jar, bumping into the winkled organ once in a while. True to her word from earlier, Trixie made sure to sprinkle fish flakes into the jar on occasion, which was consumed by both of the jar’s residents. Twilight wasn’t sure what was worse-the humiliation of eating pet food, or the fact that it didn’t taste that bad to her. As she fed, the Trixie brain that was piloting her original body regarded her curiously.

“Trixie thought Trixie was just joking about feeding you flakes. She never fed me anything…”

“Huh? What do you mean?” asked Twilight. “Were you…”

“Like you? Well, originally, yes. For a day, I think, while she took care of getting you in a jar.”

“Oh. I didn’t know.” Said Twilight, not sure if she should offer sympathy to her captor. Trixie 2 seemed to pick up on her thoughts though, and shook her head.

“Oh, it wasn’t that bad. I would have thought being a brain would be perfectly fine for a know-it-all like you.”

“Well maybe if I wasn’t being held prisoner in a cupboard and used as a fish tank, I would be enjoying this more!” said Twilight, and the liquid of her jar seemed to tremble slightly, inspiring a nanosecond of alarm in the otherwise implacable goldfish orbiting her brain. Trixie 2 considered this for a moment. Then she laughed.

“Oh, you’re so fun to play with, Sparkle. And we’re just getting started. There’s so much we’d like to try…”

After a while, the Trixies stopped hiding her. This was clearly a terrible sign, because it signaled that they felt comfortable enough to have Twilight out in the open, perched on her old bedside cabinet. They had told Spike that they had found her at an auction, and that she was just a novelty-“It’s not REALLY a brain. Does that sound like something that I would do?” Trixie had told him in her best impersonation of the purple unicorn. Spike accepted this with a simple shrug, and had added polishing the jar and feeding both her and the goldfish to his list of daily chores. Twilight kept waiting for him to say something, to recognize her, but to no avail.

“He’s a great help, you know.” Trixie had noted, after Spike had went off to bed one night. “Fills me in on all those personal details that I keep “forgetting” these days. Not the brightest, but a hard worker.”

“I swear, if you ever touch him-“

“Oh, relax, or do we need another acupuncture session today?” said Trixie smoothly, nodding her head at the box of pins beside Twilight’s jar. “Maybe you just need a good massage….”

“I’m fine, Trixie. You know one day you’ll end up doing serious damage to me. Brains aren’t toys.”

“Oh, but of course you are! Well, a toy pet more like. Just like your new goldfish friend. I’ve decided to name him Goldie, by the way.”

“Of course you have.” Trixie went to move away, before slowly turning around again. “You know what? I think you could do with a nice bath. Trixie was just drawing one now. Join us.” Before Twi could object, Trixie had fished her out of the jar and carried her to the bathroom, where the other Trixie was waiting. Twilight was just glad that she couldn’t see anything in her current state, although she could feel the warm bodies around her as they bathed around her. The warm water was a nice change from the goo in her jar, she had to admit.

“Enjoying yourself, Sparkle? I can tell.” Trixie said, caressing Twilight’s spongy form with her hand. “It’s like I can read your emotions when we’re “linked” like this. Feels good, all this warm water…and other things…” Twilight stayed silent, and felt a finger tap against her lobes impatiently.

“Yes, it does. Having a bath is nice. Okay? Is that what you wanted to hear? Can’t you just read my thoughts anyway?”

“Well, about that…” said Trixie.

“We need your help” said the other Trixie, from the other side of the tub. “We can only read thoughts you knowingly send us, but if we really want to keep this up, then we need to know more about you. Your life, your secrets. Everything. Celestia’s been sending letters, and there’s only so much Spike can tell us.”

“And some of your friends are giving us very odd looks when they ask about certain events we were apparently at. Well, me at any rate. Did you really fight a hydra?”

“Hah!” laughed Twilight, feeling genuinely happy for the first time in a while. “I knew it! I knew you couldn’t keep this up forever!” She paused for a second. “And actually, it wasn’t really a fight, per se, but…”

“You need to tell us!” pleaded the Trixies, in unison. “Please!” Twilight realized that they were desperate. If she could have grinned, she would have.

“No. You’re going to get exposed as frauds. Then you’ll get exposed as kidnappers. And it’s all your own fault.”

“Don’t forget who’s in charge here, my little brain.” Muttered Trixie 1, darkly, and Twilight felt her grip tighten. Nevertheless, she was defiant.

“What are you gonna do? You need me, remember? You’re many things, Trixie, but you’re not going to torture me. Or…anything else. You’re not THAT far gone. I know it.”

“…”

“And I don’t care how small I am right now, I’m not afraid of you or…you, again.” Said Twilight, addressing both of her captors. “All I have to do is wait.”

“Hmph. Suit yourself, Sparkle. Let’s see if we can’t change your mind…”

They left her alone for the rest of the night. Come the morning, though, Twilight noticed something was…off. Her vision was tinted a kind of yellow colour, and her thoughts seemed to be increasingly harder to focus on.

“Wha…why do I feel so…dizzy…” she thought. At that moment, Trixie appeared in front of her, smiling.

“Hey there, friend! How are we this morning?” she asked, cheerily. Twilight tried to articulate an answer, but she just felt too out of it to formulate a proper response.

“Bllrugh” she thought. Trixie frowned as her clone appeared from behind her.

“Is it working?” she asked, excitedly. Trixie shook her head.

“I don’t think she’s the type to get talkative when she’d drunk.”

“Druuunk?” slurred Twilight, who really wished the room would stop spinning. “Butsh….ooooh, my jar….hahaha…uurgh.”

“Yes, we wasted a perfectly good jarful of cider on this. Thanks for nothing, Sparkle.”

“Can brains throw up?” asked Trixie 2. Her original stroked her chin.

“Shall we find out?”

“What are those?” asked Twilight, a little fearfully. She was sitting in a dark room with a lampshade shining down on her, but she could make out a silhouette of a hand holding something in it. “Is that…a pepper?”

“That’s right, Sparkle.” Said Trixie, holding a giant red pepper up above the un-lidded jar. “These are the hottest peppers in Ponyville, according to your pink, pie eating friend. Uh…Pink Pie, that’s it.”

“That’s not very spicy, really.” Said Twilight. “That’s not really part of the cuisine around here. Also the bigger a pepper is, the less spicy it tends to-“

“…the hottest in the whole town, Sparkle!” continued Trixie. “And I’m going to start dunking them into your jar unless you talk.”

“So talk, please, if that’s okay with you!” snarled the other Trixie, slamming her hands on the table. “Now can I get you anything nice, punk?”

“What…. Trixie, what is this?” asked Trixie Classic, earning a look of confusion from her clone.

“I’m playing good cop/bad cop, just like we said.” Said Trixie 2. “Did you forget the plan?”

“I said play good cop and I’ll be bad cop. You’re playing both, you clod of a clone!”

“But you said, “Trixie will be bad cop and Trixie will play good cop”, I remember it clear as day.” Perhaps it’s you who are the clod.”

“I meant me, not…urgh forget it, I’m throwing the pepper in.” She did so, the red vegetable floating to the top like a dead fish. The currently purple unicorn looked at the brain for any sort of reaction.

“Are you…are you ready to talk yet, Sparkle?” she asked, hopefully.

“No, not really. It’s a bit stingy I guess?”

Trixie groaned and palmed her own face.

Twilight was carried into the kitchen,and landed with a squishy thud onto what felt like wooden board. Before she could wonder what the Trixies were going to try next, she felt a strong pressure towards the rear of her brain, that then began to travel across the rest of her. As this happened, she could hear Trixie’s voice whistling a merry tune.

“What’s this feeling? What are you doing now?” she asked.

“Oh, don’t worry your pretty little brain about it. Just…aha…ROLL with it.” Replied Trixie 2, laughing. Twilight didn’t really get it, but as the strange feeling continued she felt her thoughts getting heavier, much like before with the cider-filled jar. But this was different, a much stronger feeling, although thankfully without any of the nausea. It was more like being scrambled. It occurred to her what was happening around about the time she realized how spread out her brain felt.

“Are you…flat…flattening....meeeee?” she managed, with great effort.

“That’s right, Sparkle. They say people crack under pressure, and I’d say this counts!” Twilight found her ability to complain about these awful puns was being severely compromised by the rolling pin currently flattening her soft lobes like she was a mound of dough. In fact after a few minutes she felt as though she was floating in a void, senseless and formless. So she didn’t hear Trixie 1 walk into the kitchen and almost do a spit-take when she saw what was going on.

“What are you doing!” the original Trixie had cried. “She’s not going to tell us anything like that!”

“Oh, I know.” Her clone replied, shrugging. “I just really wanted to see what would happen. I think she’s enjoying it!” the blue unicorn picked up the now inch thick brain and waggled it around in her hands. “Ooo, I bet I can mold it into all sorts of things.”

“You need to focus, Trixie!” said Trixie. “We’re one more letter away from being found out, she’d no good to us like that!” These warnings were falling onto seemingly deaf ears, as her clone turned around and worked away at the grey matter. “Are you even listening? Pay attention to Trixie!”

“Tah-dah!” said the clone, turning around. She had shaped Twilight into the shape of a fish. “It’s Goldie! Swim, swim, swim…” she mimicked a swimming action with the brain. Twilight would occasionally splutter out a few vowel sounds to show that she was still okay, but very much out of it and probably unaware of the indignities being visited upon the center of her very thoughts. Twixie crossed her arms across her chest and shot a withering look across the kitchen counter.

“Done?”

“Oh…Trixie is entitled to a bit of fun, it’s been a very stressful few days.”

“Trixie knows how Trixie feels, but Trixie will have all the fun she wants AFTER we get our facts from Twilight. Okay?” Trixie 2 nodded her head and started to remold Twilight, to the original Trixie’s relief.

“Thank you. Now, I’ve been thinking it over, and I’ve decided that we need to take more drastic measurements. I’ve been studying Sparkle’s books, and I think with a few strategic cuts, we can get her into a more cooperative state of mind...” she chuckled darkly. “Do you follow me?”

“Oh, yes, of course. But look at this, I’ve shaped her into my own personal dild-“

“Trixie get your mind out of the gutter and work with me here!” cried Trixie, blushing.

“Oh I know you’d want to try it too. You’re me, after all.”

“I’ll try it on you if you don’t get her fixed in five minutes.”

“…I’ll go make a healing potion.”

“Yes, you do that.”

The next hour or so was a very confusing one for Twilight. She soon regained her ability to think clearly, which was always nice But given that she still could not see, or hear anything outside of what the Trixies projected thoughts, the situation was still far from idea. When she asked what was going on, the Trixies told her that she might feel some slight “changes”, and soon Twilight did indeed start to experience sudden and almost indescribable shifts in her thought patterns. One moment she was fine, and the next she could only think in numbers, much to her captors confusions. Then, no sooner had she recovered from that, Twilight found herself focusing exclusively on what she knew about ducks. She didn’t actually know a whole lot, which only made it worse, or at least more tedious to think about.

Soon after that particular quirk was fixed, Twilight found that she had forgotten everything about her past life. Her name, her friends, what she had done-everything just blanked out, like it was trapped behind an unassailable door. This caused a severe amount of alarm in the voice she was hearing in her head, whoever they were. They sounded nice, even if they were asking a lot of questions.

Trixie groaned, the sense of frustration that had been brewing since the other day steadily building, as she examined her specimen. She had made a few incisions into the part of the brain that she thought dealt with memories, hoping to make them more accessible.

“Bah, a failure. Trixie, I need another option.” She said to her sidekick, who was nose-deep in a book about the anatomy of the brain. The cloned looked through it carefully.

“I suggest you try splitting her hemispheres apart. It might contain Sparkle’s more unhelpful traits to one half.”

“And the other will help us? How intriguing.” Said Trixie thoughtfully. First though, to fix her previous mistake, she doused the cut with a little of her premade healing potion, watching as the incision healed up on the spot. In that moment, Twilight remembered who she was, and immediately understood what was happening.

“Are you two attempting brain surgery?!” she said, appalled. “This is an outrage!”

“Oh, at this point, I think I can live with your outrage.” Said Trixie, with a tired note in her voice. “Don’t worry, you’ll feel much better in a second.” And with that she split Twilight’s brain in half, right down the center, before plopping each side down. “Can you hear me?”

“Uh, yeah?” said Twilight, before a second voice butted in. “Oh…oh wow, it’s like I’m in two places at once!”

“So I am! This is cool! What did you…. oh, tell me you didn’t cut me in half.”

“US in half.” Corrected the second Twilight voice.

“No, cut ME in half. You’re still just me.”

“Well, philosophically speaking, I think you’ll find…”

Trixie frowned at the sudden debate that was taking place in her head, and quickly jammed the two pieces together again, pouring a bit of healing potion between the two halves to glue it back together.

“Well, that didn’t work.” She said to her assistant self. “But that’s okay. Trixie is calm, Trixie is in control…and Trixie would like a better suggestion this time, pretty please.” The other Trixie giggled nervously, before suggesting that a smaller cut be made slightly further up, towards the front of the brain.

“If I’m right, removing that part will make her much more obedient.” Said Trixie 2.

“Excellent!” said the original. “Just what we need!”

“Trixie, wait, if you do that you’ll-“ Twilight’s objections shuddered to a halt. There was a long, uncomfortable silence, and the two Trixies exchanged worried glances.

“Can you hear me, Sparkle?” asked Trixie 1.

“Yes….” replied a slow, monotone voice. Trixie 2 gave an excited thumbs up sign to her original, who proceeded with cautious optimism.

“You will tell me everything I want to know. Do you understand.”

“Yes. I do that. Yes yes.” said Twilight. Trixie found herself relaxing. Finally, she could stop worrying, and she regained some of her usual haughtiness.

“Well then, slave. Let us begin. Tell the Great and Powerful Trixie about your time here in Ponyville.”

“Okaaaaay!”

“…”

“…”

Trixie looked back at her clone, who shrugged. She turned back to the now slightly reduced brain on the table and giggled nervously.

“Any time, Sparkle.”

“Oh. Hahaha. I like sun.”

“What? No, I said…no, I demand that you inform me of your time here. How did you meet your meddling friends?”

“Friends nice. Blue fast. Hahaha.”

“Oh, no….” said Trixie 2. “It turns out I wasn’t right. This brain surgery business is tougher than I thought. It’s like…well…brain surgery.”

“Enough!” cried Trixie, slamming her lavender hands onto the counter. “This isn’t working. I need to…yes, why didn’t I think of it sooner! I’ll brew a truth potion and dunk her into it. That will solve my problems! Er, OUR problems, Trixie.”

“Ah, yes. It’s a little…crude?” said Trixie 2, which got a nod from her original.

“Yes, I know, not very flashy of us. But needs must. I will prepare it soon. Fix Sparkle while I get the proper ingredients.”

“Of course, Trixie. Oh, you might want to get some more healing potion ingredients, we’ve burned through a lot of stock.”

“Of course.”

“And some more pistachio nuts, we’re fresh out-“

“Priorities, Trixie, priorities!”

============================================================================================

Back in the safety of her jar and once again in one piece (relatively speaking), Twilight was nevertheless consumed with worry as the Trixies loomed over her, a jar of a swirling red potion in the hand of her former body. They were about to dunk her into the stuff and gain access to the memories and information that they needed to convince everyone-even Celestia-that Trixie was Twilight, and take a crucial step forward in getting away with their con. Twilight bubbled anxiously. What could she do? Was she doomed? What would happen next?

The Worst End: Garbage Day

“Moment of truth, Sparkle! Ahahaha!”

Twilight felt herself being levitated out of her old jar and into the new one. Soon her vision was tinted ruby red as the faces of the Trixies peered in at her, wearing smug grins of triumph. They let her soak in it for a few minutes, absorbing some of the liquid to a noticeable degree, before getting to the questions

“Time for a test run.” Said Trixie 1, rubbing her hands together. “Sparkle, what is the name of your secret crush?”

“Rainbow Dash.” Replied Twilight, before gasping. She hadn’t even been aware of giving an answer. She had just blurted it out, almost subconsciously. “Wait, that’s…true! I mean, it’s definitely true! I mean…oh no, I really am telling the truth!” she finished, miserably. Trixie cackled with obvious glee.

“Yes! Yeees! Another victory for the Great and Powerful Trixie!” she said, drawing herself up to her full height. “Now, tell me everything. Everything, I said!” And so, Twilight spilled the beans. Her history with her friends, mentor, parents, and all of her personal secrets spilled forth like a tsunami of truth, flatly stated, with no emotion. The Trixie brain that was in the original Trixie body noted everything down in a notebook, in perfect detail, as the other Trixie teased every last scrap of information out of her nemesis.

When it was done, the Trixies looked at each other and nodded. Twilight, mentally exhausted after spending the last who knows how long spilling her metaphorical guts out, didn’t say anything as she was fished back out of the jar of truth potion. It was only when she realized that she wasn’t going back in her regular jar that she spoke.

“Where am I going now? What more can you do to me?” she asked.

“Nothing. There’s nothing more to do with you.” Said Trixie. It came out in a cheerful tone, but Twilight immediately heard alarm bells ringing in her mind.

“What does that mean?”

“…it’s Wednesday today.” Said Trixie, casually.

“What? What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Well, what happens on a Wednesday? Have you forgotten, Sparkle?” Twilight tried to think. Wednesdays, Wednesdays…2 for 1 muffin day at the bakery? Rainbow’s day off? Or…

“Trixie…you don’t mean…”

“That’s right! Garbage day!” Twilight felt herself dropped into something soft and cramped, and she had a horrible feeling as to what it was.

“Trixie, no! Don’t! I…I can-“

“Oh, sorry, but you’re just a liability now. Can’t have you escaping somehow, can I? Goodbye, Twilight Sparkle. Give my regards to the rats at the trash heap! I’m sure you’ll feel right at home!”

Twilight continued to plead, but soon she felt her telepathic connection to Trixie suddenly end, like a wire had been pulled out of a socket, and she was left alone in the darkness.

Trixie walked back upstairs to her other self, who clapped her into the room.

“Congratulations, Trixie. Or should I just say Twilight Sparkle from now on?” she said, which made the Twilight imposter laugh.

“Oh, I always was funny. As well as beautiful.”

“Don’t forget Great and Powerful.” said the clone, playfully. “Seriously, don’t.”

“Oh, of course not.” Said “Twilight”, moving towards her former body with a gleam in her eye. “Now, I say that we’ve earned a little downtime, wouldn’t you? Now, lose those clothes…but keep the hat on.”

“Whatever you say…Twilight.”

One month later….

“Now, let’s try this again. Wave. Your. Paws!...urgh, no!”

Twilight sighed, frustrated, as she sat on her lump of garbage. The crowd of rats in front of her continued to stare, blankly. It was, to be frank, still an improvement from when she was first dumped into the trash heap. Back then, she was happy to avoid the rodents altogether-they would either climb on top of her and nestle on her lobes, or nibble at her before running away. It had been a bleak few weeks.

Then, at some point, Twilight realized that her thoughts were, somehow, getting through to the little creatures. She wasn’t sure why, or how, but at this point Twilight would take any advantage she had. So far that just meant that her constant pleas of “Stop trying to eat my brain” were being respected. But given practice? Maybe-just maybe-she could go on to greater things. For now though…

“Okay, one more time. Wave…your…paws!” she instructed. There was a beat as time stood still. Then, slowly, the swarm of rats around her, with great slowness and care, slowly waved.

Bad Ending: Trixie's Victory Dance

“Moment of truth, Sparkle! Ahahaha!”

Twilight felt herself being levitated out of her old jar and into the new one. Soon her vision was tinted ruby red as the faces of the Trixies peered in at her, wearing smug grins of triumph. They let her soak in it for a few minutes, absorbing some of the liquid to a noticeable degree, before getting to the questions

“Time for a test run.” Said Trixie 1, rubbing her hands together. “Sparkle, what is the name of your secret crush?”

“Rainbow Dash.” Replied Twilight, before gasping. She hadn’t even been aware of giving an answer. She had just blurted it out, almost subconsciously. “Wait, that’s…true! I mean, it’s definitely true! I mean…oh no, I really am telling the truth!” she finished, miserably. Trixie cackled with obvious glee.

“Yes! Yeees! Another victory for the Great and Powerful Trixie!” she said, drawing herself up to her full height. “Now, tell me everything. Everything, I said!” And so, Twilight spilled the beans. Her history with her friends, mentor, parents, and all of her personal secrets spilled forth like a tsunami of truth, flatly stated, with no emotion. The Trixie brain that was in the original Trixie body noted everything down in a notebook, in perfect detail, as the other Trixie teased every last scrap of information out of her nemesis.

“Perfect…this is all we need.” Declared Trixie 2, standing up from her notebook. “The next time we get a letter from the Princess, we can simply use these notes when we need to.”

“Indeed. We may have to memorize some of them for when we have to talk to her friends. Oh, sorry, I meant my precious friends” said Trixie, glancing at Twilight. “Oh, I suppose I better take you out of there. You’ve been a very good girl, so we’ll leave you alone for a while.”

“You…won’t get away with this…” said Twilight quietly, as she was floated out of the red truth potion and back into her normal jar. “I’ll find a way. Somehow. Or the Princesses will. Or Spike, or my friends!”

“Oh, so you’ve been telling us for…how long has it been now, Trixie?”

“Three weeks.” Said the Trixie clone, matter-of-factly. “And counting.”

“Exactly. Face it, Sparkle. We’ve won. Completely, and utterly. You might as well just get used to being our little pet. I’ll take good care of you, promise. In fact…” Trixie turned to her sidekick with a sultry look in her eyes. “As a special treat for being so helpful, Trixie will put on a show for you. Isn’t that right, Trixie?”

“Oh yes, Trixie” said Trixie. “It’s like you read my mind.”

“Well you know what they say.” Said Trixie, walking towards her original body. “Great and Powerful minds think alike! Ahahaha!”

Twilight watched on, helplessly, as her two captors locked lips in a passionate, tender and somewhat smug kiss. This would be her life now-watching her own body do unthinkable things under the control of her enemy. And she had a front row ticket. As clothes began to be shed and the heat grew, Twilight pondered on her situation. She had to admit: there were WORSE fates….

Neutral Ending: Spike To The Rescue

Suddenly, the door burst open, revealing a very angry young dragon.

“Stop right there, Trixie! And you, Trixie!” he bellowed. “I heard everything! Let her go now, or you’ll regret-hey!” He was cut off mid-sentence as the imposter Twilight levitated him over to her with her magic.

“Oh nooooo, I’m so scared. Please don’t hurt me, Spike.” She said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “Trixie? Prepare another jar.”

“No, don’t!” pleaded Twilight, aware that her projected thoughts would not be picked up on by her assistant. “Trixie, please, do what you want to me but leave him out of this!”

“Oh, I have no choice now, Sparkle.” Said Trixie, as she started to magically unscrew the top of Spike’s head, setting it down on the bed behind her, before frowning at his rather unperturbed expression. “You look awfully smug for a soon to be brain in a jar.”

“That’s because I know something you don’t.” replied Spike, who true to Trixie’s word seemed to be filled with calm confidence despite his predicament. It made both of the Trixies rather anxious.

“What do you mean? Talk!” demanded the cloned Trixie, standing up suddenly. Spike smirked.

“Oh, just that I’ve already sent a letter to Princess Celestia about this. About five minutes ago, actually. She’ll probably be here any second now.”

“C-Celestia?!” spluttered both Trixies at once, exchanging panicked looks. Spike was unceremoniously dumped onto the floor as the two unicorns went into full flight mode.

“We need to get out of here! Now!”

“I know that, Trixie!” said Trixie Classic, before pausing, looking down at her ill-gotten body. “No, I can’t go like this. They’ll hunt us down until they find it again, and she’s too famous anyway. It’ll attract attention that we don’t need.”

“Never thought you’d say that…” muttered Twilight.

“Silence!” cried Trixie, drawing an odd stare from Spike on the floor. She reached up to the top of her head, grabbed her hair, and twisted it left and right as though it was the lid on a jar of pickles. Soon the whole thing popped off, exposing her blue brain. “Quickly, grab me and let’s get out of this dump of a town. No, wait, actually, hold on!” she said quickly, as her brain was nearly pulled out of Twilight’s head. “I’ll leave this body behind alright… just not in one piece!”

Twilight’s horn glowed purple as Trixie pointed her head looked down towards the purple body she would soon be evacuating. With surgical precision she fired off a few quick magical blasts at her joints. Arms and legs scattered until she was fully limbless, falling to the floor with an “ooft!” with her brain bouncing out of her head, still attached by the brainstem.

“You… you petty, petty mare!” cried Twilight, genuinely annoyed. “How spiteful can you possibly be?!”

“You’ll learn in the future, Sparkle, believe me!” replied Trixie, before swiftly decapitating herself, her head bouncing on the wooden floor and rolling to a stop at her clone’s feet. “You will see us again! Now, away!” Her brain was plucked out of Twilight’s head at last by her assistant, who promptly stuffed it into the jar meant for Spike, and then in turn shoved that jar into a waiting bag. Without a word she scurried out of the door at full speed, leaving Spike alone with a well-dismembered Twilight Sparkle. He walked up to the jar and grabbed it, holding it up to his face, apparently unaware that his brain was completely exposed.

“Uh… sorry about that, Twilight. Also, sorry for not noticing until today, actually. We’ll get you fixed up, eventually. Promise.

Twilight swelled with pride inside her jar, before gasping in unheard horror as Trixie reappeared behind Spike.

“Oh, almost forgot!”

A blue glow enveloped Spike’s brain, and before he could react she lifted it out of his skull, before dumping it inside Twilight’s jar. “Trixie says hi! And also bye!”. With that she was gone once more.

“What the… Twilight?!” came Spike’s voice.

“Spike! It’s okay! You’re just… er, well, a brain in a jar. With me…”

“Oh. Right. Trixie?”

“Trixie.”

“Bummer.” Said Spike. “Well… at least I’m with you. How can I hear you?”

“I’m not sure, actually. Maybe because we’re in such close proximity?” theorized Twilight. Spike was basically lying on top of Twilight like this, after all -perhaps the physical contact had something to do with it. “At any rate, this shouldn’t be a problem. We just have to wait a few minutes for Princess Celestia to show up, right? Hah, I bet she’ll have a lot to say about all this!”

“Ahaha… hah…”

“…Spike?”

“Yeah, that was just a bluff.” Said Spike, laughing nervously. “I… uh, didn’t really think this out, did I? I’m sure someone will come look for us… eventually…”

Twilight butted herself against the glass of her jar. It would be a long few days until someone decided to check on them.

Good Ending: Self-Destructive Tendancies

It had all gone smoothly for Trixie. The truth potion had worked like a charm, delivering all of the missing information that she needed to fully assume the life of her nemesis, Twilight Sparkle. She had sent letters to the Princess of Equestria herself without arousing suspicion, and the awkward moments where she had “forgotten” her past exploits with the other Elements of Harmony were but a thing of the past. She had respect, power-real power, magical or otherwise-and best of all, she had proven her superiority once and for all over that little miss perfect Sparkle. Sure she had to pretend to care about things like Fluttershy’s stupid little animals, or Pinkie Pie’s obnoxious parties. But their time would come soon enough…

One evening, after eating, Trixie was lying in bed, browsing some of the more exotic spellbooks in Twilight’s library, as Twilight herself bubbled silently on the cabinet to her side. Her whining had started to annoy Trixie and so she had temporarily silenced their psychic link. Sometimes Trixie just needed a little solitude, after all, especially now with her new life. And it gave her a chance to catch up on her magic. Her body may have changed, but Trixie was still Trixie, and she couldn’t resist trying to learn the flashiest spells possible. And now that she had the Element of Magic’s power at her disposal, there was nothing to stop the Great and Powerful Trixie from reaching new heights of magical prowess.

Trixie giggled happily to herself in a way that could be interpreted as “maniacal laughter”, before sighing wistfully. Oh, she would love to put on a magical show now. Maybe she would. No one would find that suspicious, surely? After all, now that Twilight had made such good friends with the Greatly Misunderstood and Powerfully Repentant Trixie… Well, it was only natural for two good friends to do things together, right? And this time, those blithering fools in Ponyville would give her the cheers she deserved.

“Are you okay, Trixie?” said the second Trixie, appearing at the doorway to Trixie’s room in her blue cotton nightwear (and, naturally, her wizard’s hat and cape). “I heard what sounded like maniacal laughter.”

“Oh really? Well… fine. Good. Ahem.” Said Trixie 1, coughing, before fixing her eyes on the spells in front of her. “Trixie is just fine, thank you Trixie. I was merely… oh my…”

“Trixie?”

But Trixie the first did not reply, as her attention was now fixated solely on the page in front of her. If she was reading this right… she stood up suddenly, a glint in her eye.

“Yes! Perfect! With this spell, I’ll be able to duplicate myself without the need for that silly mirror pool! Er, no offense” she added, nodding at her clone who took that off-hand remark in her stride. “Let’s see… time for a test run.”

“Really? Already?” asked Trixie 2. Trixie Classic shot her a look of disdain.

“Are you implying anything?”

“Well… those are all high-end complex spells. Usually I would do some more reading first before trying something that complex.”

“Yes, but you are not the GREAT and POWERFUL Trixie!” said Trixie.

“Well… actually, yes I am.” Said Trixie 2, looking a little hurt.

“Oh, right. Yes” muttered Trixie. “Er… but you don’t have the power of the Element of Magic as well, is what I meant!”

“I see.”

“I was not implying that I am clearly the real Trixie or anything.” Continued Trixie, hastily. “What a silly thought that would be!” And accurate, she didn’t add.

“Of course. Go ahead and cast it.” Said the Trixie clone, taking a step back. Trixie looked back down at the page again. She was sure that she had this down. Well, pretty sure… no, of course she was sure. She was Trixie! Great, Powerful etc. Although… maybe she should ask Twilight first? No, that would be unacceptable. She would never live it down. Trixie would show them all her mastery of magic. She got out of her bed, stood in the center of the room, and cast the spell.

Then she exploded.

When the noise died down, Trixie 2 opened her eyes. Then she peeled off the loose length of entrails that had landed on her head. The room was splattered with gore and body parts, staining the room red with a hint of purple. A heart bet furiously on the pillow of Trixie’s bed, and several ribs had embedded themselves in the wooden walls and floor. The windows had shattered and Trixie rather suspected that some body parts had landed outside-she could heard panicked voices coming from outside, and at least one voice complaining about the mess. In the center of it all, surrounded by some chunks of white bone and red meat, was a pulsing blue brain, with two eyeballs still attached to it.

Trixie 2 considered her options. It had been a rather noisy explosion. She could hear Spike coming up the stairs to investigate, whereupon he would find Trixie standing herself next to a splattered pile of Twilight Sparkle. She could just picture the reaction. She might have been a clone, but she was still Trixie, and that meant looking after number one. Without a second thought, she turned around and legged it, sprinting past the approaching dragon on the stairway and out into the nighttime air.

Meanwhile, in her jar, Twilight sighed. At least she was technically free now, although seeing her body explode like that was not exactly filling her with a sense of relief. Once Spike was done piecing together what had happened with Trixie, he’d have to start piecing her back together as well, one chunk at a time. She watched the young dragon open the door. Then watched him gently faint. This was going to take a while…

Sllightly Better Ending: The Cavalry Arrives

Suddenly, the door to Twilight’s bedroom was knocked clean off its hinge. The cause of this quickly became apparent as a voice was heard.

“Um, did you really have to kick in her door, Rainbow? That seems a little extreme, I think”

“This is a time for action, Fluttershy! Twilight is in danger!” replied a familiar scratchy voice. Five ponies poured into the room and over the newly broken door, with the sky-blue pegasus leading the way. “See, told you! There they are! Stop right there, Trixies!” From her jar, Twilight’s spirits soared. She knew that her friends would save her! Now everything would be alright! She hollered and cheered, knowing that no one could hear her but her captors.

“Drat!” said Trixie, turning to face the intruders with a scowl. “How did you find me out? Was it that little dragon? I knew I should have stolen his brain as well!”

“Well, you didn’t.” said Spike, appearing from amidst the other girls. “And now you’ll pay for what you did. Get ‘em, girls!” The angry crowd began to close in on the two Trixies. Suddenly, Trixie 2 grabbed her partners hand. Her magic opened up the large windows to her right, and they both quickly jumped out. There was a short scream followed by an ugly thud. Twilight watched as her friends all rushed to the window and peered out.

“Are they okay?”

“The one in Twi’s body seems fine. Ah think she landed on top of the other one.” Said Applejack. “Oh wait, the one in Trixie’s body’s up too. We gotta move! Go, Go!” she said, turning and sprinting towards the staircase. Rarity followed suit, instructing Spike to stay and look after Twilight while they chased down the Trixies. Rainbow, Fluttershy and Pinkie all went out of the window at various speeds and levels of enthusiasm, leaving Twilight alone with Spike. She wished that she could communicate with him, but for now all she could do was put faith in her friends.

Her time spent as a brain in a jar had at least made Twilight very, very good at waiting. So when she finally did see her friends walk into the room again it only felt like a few minutes, even if it was probably much longer than that. Spike bounced over to the group, eager for news. Rarity was levitating something in her magic. Two things, in fact.

“Are those the Trixies?” asked Spike. Rarity nodded, smirking.

“Mission accomplished!” said Rainbow, earning a few cheers from everyone present. “I think this is a fitting punishment for these two, right Twilight?”

“Uh, can she hear us?” asked Applejack, walking over to the jar and tapping on the glass. Spike shrugged.

“They seemed to be talking to her a lot, so maybe? Let’s assume she can, just in case.”

“In that case-heya Twilight!” said Pinkie, joining Applejack next to Twilight and pressing her face against the jar, like a kid at a museum. Twilight moved back slightly at the sight, but still, it felt good to be with her friends again, even like this.

“So, guess we should put Twi back in her body then.” Said Spike. There was a sudden, awkward silence, which immediately made both Spike and Twilight suspicious. “Riiiiight?”

“Well, um… we would love to, darling, we really would… “ said Rarity, smiling nervously as she continued to float the two blue brains above her head. “But there may have been some complications in the capture of these ruffians.”

“Oh, is that what you call that?” said Applejack, turning to address the white unicorn. “Cause it looked to me like someone went a little overboard with their magic.”

“I resent your implication.” Said Rarity, huffing.

“You blew her legs off!”

“She blew my what off?!?” said Twilight, silently, as Rarity blushed.

“Well, they were running away! And then they stopped! I think I was perfectly justified” she said.

“Yeah? What about when ya blew off her arms next?” challenged Applejack. “Ah think you just like blasting things to bits with magic!”

“Well, so what if I-er I mean… hold on, Applejack, would you like to remind me who had the bright idea of trying to lasso Trixie by the neck?” This time it was Applejack’s turn to look embarrassed. She glanced at the brain in the jar beside her, as if afraid of being judged by it.

“… usually fine.” She muttered. “I dunno why her head flew off like that. Don’t normally happen…” The purple brain started to bubble furiously, which was Applejack’s cue to fall into silence. Spike smacked his face with his claw, exasperated.

“Well, just put Twilight back in her head, then.” He said. Again, there was more silence, and he threw his arms up in frustration. “Oh, what, can we not even do that?!”

“Um.” Said Fluttershy, twirling her hair in her fingers and looking at the floor. “We would, but, and I’m not criticizing, but Applejack used so much force with her lasso that she maaaay have kind of thrown Twilight’s head against a brick wall”

“Uh, sorry, Fluttershy? Didn’t quite catch that.”

“She’s saying that AJ pulled her rope so hard it smashed Twilight’s skull into the wall of someone’s house!” said Pinkie, cheerfully. Spike’s jaw dropped as Applejack turned a deeper shade of red, much to the delight of Rainbow Dash.

“Ahahaha, you should have seen Applejack’s face!” she said, almost crying with laughter. “In fact… you should see it now! Ahahahaha!” Twilight felt a tiny bit sorry for the clearly mortified earth pony. But just a little bit. She’d have some words for Applejack when she was capable of speaking them. Spike, meanwhile, took some deep breaths and calmed himself down.

“Okay! Okay then. So Twilight’s body is a write-off, at least until we find a vat of healing potion. Just put her in Trixie’s body! There, problem solved.”

“Oh, well, I have a funny story about that!” said Pinkie, in a very ominous manner. “See, while they were chasing those two Trixies, I went and found my old party cannon!”

“Oh, please, just stop, I’ve heard enough.” Said Spike, now openly sagging like a balloon with a hole in it. “I know where this story is going.”

“Okie Dokie! I won’t tell you about how I thought there was just custard pies in there, and how I TOTALLY forgot I had loaded it with cool fireworks for Derpy’s upcoming birthday party!”

“In Pinkie’s defense, the fireworks were magnificent.” Said Rarity, nodding appreciatively.

“Thanks! Maybe I’ll shoot them at someone’s lower half for Derpy’s b-day as well!”

“Urgh…wait, lower half?” said Spike, looking up at Pinkie. She nodded.

“Mm-hmm! Cause Rainbow had already tackled her at this point, and she was going so fast that she split her in two!” This put a stop to Rainbow’s laughter pretty quickly, and she looked over indignantly at the pink party pony.

“Hey, Pinkie, you didn’t need to tell them that!” she said, which provoked a dry chuckle from Applejack. “And it’s still not as bad as you, AJ! Trixie deserved it! It wouldn’t be a problem if you hadn’t used Twi’s head as a conker!”

“That don’t mean you can splatter Trixie’s noggin all over the pavement!”

“That wasn’t me, that was Fluttershy!” cried Rainbow. Then her eyes went wide. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to rat you out Flutters…”

“Wait, what?!” said Spike. “That doesn’t sound like you, Fluttershy. Uh… you okay?” he asked the quivering pegasus, who was hiding behind her bangs.

“Well, no.” said Rarity, taking pity on her friend. “But she had persuaded some local animals to come help out. And they were very well behaved up until they saw all those insides. Then they rather went into a frenzy and… well, we’ll have a lot of explaining to do to the town tomorrow. Some of the foals were taking it all rather badly.”

Spike went to say something, paused, and then simply gave up. He walked over to Twilight and shrugged at her, and saying “Sorry” over and over again. Twilight was at this point positively fizzing, like a mint in soda. She loved her friends dearly, she told herself. She would keep this in mind when she got round to punishing them for being such goofs.

Almost Best Ending: Your Own Worst Enemy

After a good 40 minutes or so of endless questioning, Trixie stood triumphant over her fallen, defeated adversary, lording it up. Now there was nothing and no one that could stand in her way. She knew it, and Twilight knew it. As Trixie droned on and on about how this was proof of her greatness and blah blah blah, Twilight was floated back into her jar/prison by the other Trixie, who by comparison was only a little bit smug. Twilight stared at the clone’s smiling blue face…and hatched a plan. The only thing that could beat Trixie…was Trixie

“Well, I’m away to buy some treats to celebrate my compelte and utter victory over you, Twilight.” Announced Trixie, heading to the door. “I think I’ll buy the really good fishfood for you. Don’t say that Trixie isn’t magnanimous, now! Hahahaha!” Trixie disappeared out of the bedroom, leaving Twilight with the clone of her nemesis. The two looked at each other, and Twilight wasted no time springing her plan into motion.

“So, I bet you’re feeling pretty good right now.” Said Twilight, coyly. Trixie snorted.

“Why wouldn’t I feel good?” replied the unicorn. “I’ve won. It’s over. Now I get to live the rest of my life in luxury with my best friend: Trixie!”

“Will you?” said Twilight. There was a pregnant pause as Trixie’s eyes lit up.

“W-what do you mean? Explain yourself!”

“Well, think about it.” Said Twilight, as calmly as she could manage. “If you were Trixie-“

“I AM Trixie.”

“Oh you know what I mean. If you were that specific Trixie, you’d make sure that you were never, ever found out. And having someone else around that could spill the beans on you? Face it. You’re next.”

“Next?”

“You’ll end up like me. A brain in a jar. You’re just a clone to her, after all.” This made Trixie visily pale as Twilight’s suggestions sunk in. As she had predicted, Trixie 2 obviously shared her original’s latent insecurity, and the thought that her supposed partner and “best friend” was plotting against her just needed a little encouragement before paranoia took hold.

“Haha. Haaaah. I don’t believe you.” Said Trixe, unconvincingly. “Trixie would never…. Trixie is kind and caring about her friends!”

“I know you don’t really believe that.” Said Twilight. “You’re a liability. And the second she thinks you might compromise her? Bam! Into the jar you go. Or worse…”

“No! Never!” cried Trixie. Then she stopped and thought about it. “Although, actually… she HAS been rather colder than usual lately…”

“Yes, see!” said Twilight, who honestly hadn’t noticed that but was willing to run with it. “She’s already distancing herself from you for when she has to get rid of you. You know it to be true.”

“I... I won’t let that happen!” said Trixie 2, clenching her fists. “I won’t! I’ll-oh, I hear footsteps!” She said, suddenly growing quiet, before crouching by the door. In walked Trixie Classic, looking annoyed.

“Trixie, have you seen my purse? Trixie may have forgotten it-er, I mean, deliberately hid it. As a test.” Said the pretend Twilight, walking further into the room without noticing her clone’s magic staring to glow. “Trixie? Where are you-“

Trixie 2 sprang out of the corner, pinning Twilight’s hijacked body down by the wrists as her horn glowed. Trixie 1 yelled out in surprise and then fury as she felt the top of her head start to be pried off, but it was too late for her to react, and soon her brain had been pulled out. Trixie 2 looked at it with savage glee.

“Did you really think you could outwit the Great and Powerful Trixie? “ said the clone to her original, who’ spsychic link to the others in the room seemed to have been cut I’m even Greater and Powerfuler than the original! Pahahaha!”

“Wow, you really showed her!” said Twilight, desperately fighting the urge to point out that the proper grammatical term is “more powerful” rather than “powerfuller”. “You really are the best Trixie ever.”

“Yes. Yes I am” said the new dominant Trixie, spinning her prize around in the air thoughtfully. She cleared her throat before speaking again. “Trixie… thanks you, for your assistance, Sparkle. I did not fully share my original’s animosity towards you, if I’m being 100% honest.”

“Really? Then, do you think you could maaaaaybe sorta… let me go?” tried Twilight. Trixie hesitated, unsure, so Twilight pressed her advantage while it was there. “I heard Trixie say she’d keep up both in the same jar, you know, cause it would save space.”

“Why, that traitorous such and such!” said Trixie, outraged. “Very well, Sparkle. If she wanted you locked up, then I will certainly restore you.” She switched Twilight out of her jar with Trixie, who immediately began fizzing like an angry mint. Twilight was placed back in her rightful place in her skull. For the first time in nearly a month, Twilight opened her eyes and smiled.

“Now that’s-“ She then immediately collapsed. “It’s OK, I’m OK!” she said to the concerned Trixie. “Just out of practice using this thing, is all. Thank you, Trixie. I mean that.” Trixie blushed heavily from the genuine show of gratitude she had received, and immediately made for thedoor.

“Goodbye, Sparkle! I am sure that we will meet again. May our next encounter be less… complex.” With that, the new Trixie Lulamoon excited the room and presumable Ponyville. Twilight found herself looking forward to seeing if this Trixie would turn out any better than the last one. Speaking off… she walked over the newly jarred brain sitting on her shelf. She didn’t really know how to link thoughts yet, but she would be sure to find out. She had so much she wanted to say to Trixie, after all.

Weird Ending???: Domestic Bliss

2 years later…

“I’m home!”

Princess Twilight Sparkle announced her presence with a warm smile from the castle’s entrance. It had been a long day of talking to various ponies around town about their friendship problems. Hard work, but given where she had been two years ago, Twilight couldn’t complain. Two years ago she had been going from town to town in a run-down cart, to mostly indifferent audiences. Two years ago she had no real friends to talk to about her problems or her feelings. Two years ago, she hadn’t even been Twilight Sparkle.

“Oh, hello Twilight!” came Trixie’s voice from an adjacent room “Just a minute, almost done here!”

After a few moments, in walked Trixie, wearing a white baking apron over her blue t-shirt and pants, as well as her trademark wizard’s hat. She warmly hugged Twilight and asked her how her day had been outside.

“Oh, same old. Cheerilee and her sister were having a tiff, but everything’s patched up between them now.” Said Twilight, smiling.

“Good to hear. I did think Cheerilee wasn’t herself at the magic show I put on for her class.”

“Ah, you’re learning! Good, Trixie.”

“Well, I have a good teacher!” said Trixie. “Twilight Sparkle.”

“Oh, of course. Speaking of, is our special little Twilight ready for her big day?” asked Twilight Sparkle. Trixie nodded.

“I let her out for a while earlier as a treat, so I think she’s all tuckered out in her jar. Spike’s away helping Pinkie and Applejack with a cooking project, he won’t be back for hours. You should go bring her down, I’m just about ready with the cake!”

Trixie disappeared back towards the kitchen as the Princess of Friendship made her way upstairs to her bedroom. She had finally gotten used to the castle, which had come as a bit of a shock after the business with Tirek. Now that had been a close call. She remembered the terrifying moment when the Library was destroyed, and it was all she could do to teleport herself and Twilight outside before the fireball hit. Still, it had all worked out in the end. She had always dreamed of living in a castle.

And of being a Princess, for that matter. The day she had ascended had been so full of joy. Sure, a little part of her had been paranoid when Celestia showed up and started singing about her destiny, what with all that had happened. But again, everything had gone smoothly, and she had been coronated with all of her new friends -and new family members- in a ceremony straight from her fillyhood fantasies.

The new body and wings had taken a while to get used to, and a few subtle modifications to her wardrobe courtesy of Rarity. But then again, Rarity had been doing a lot of that for Twilight over the last two years. She rather enjoyed it, Twilight suspected, and had barely questioned the alicorn’s shifting taste in fashion towards showier, slightly racier outfits. Friends were always happy to help friends, in the end...

She entered the bedroom and laid eyes on Twilight. She walked over and picked her jar up, giving it a shake.

“Hey there, girl.” She said, playfully. The brain inside the jar stirred.

“Ooh…. hey, Twilight.” Said the brain of Twilight Sparkle, sleepily. “Good day? A little chilly for the corset, isn’t it?” This made the purple alicorn look down at herself, wiggling in her tight silver corset.

“Well, I didn’t hear anyone complaining.” She said, stroking her hands down her figure. The brain giggled.

“I’m sure they didn’t. How are your friends?” she asked.

“Oh, the girls are all fine.” Said Twilight”. “Fluttershy’s away on a trip to see the Breezies migrating right now, but she’ll be back next week.”

“Hehe, I’m sure she’ll be loving that.”

“Naturally. Now, let’s go downstairs. Trixie is famished.” There was a pause, before “Twilight” blushed and put a hand to her mouth.

“Er, I mean, Twilight is famished. Haha. Oh, I’ve been so good about that recently as well.” This just earned more giggles from the jar in her hands as they made their way downstairs to the dining room, which was pitched in darkness. The minute the door shut behind them, the lights went on again, revealing Trixie standing beside a large chocolate cake. The cake was adorned with two large purple candles.

“Happy anniversary!” cheered Trixie and “Twilight”, as the jar was set down in the middle of the table.

“No way, I completely lost track!” said Twilight. “Thank you! Two years already?”

“Time flies, doesn’t it?” said “Twilight”. The brain in the jar sighed wistfully as memories came flooding back. “To think that two years ago today, you broke into my house, removed my brain from my body and stole my identity!” There was an awkward moment of silence as the two ponies in the room with bodies exchanged nervous glances. Then the brain laughed.

“Hahaha, just kidding, you know I’m not mad anymore!” Everyone laughed, the brief tension that had briefly filled the room instantly dissipating. Trixie took a slice of cake and began slicing it into little chunks as Twilight continued speaking.

“You’ve done amazing since becoming me. You’re a princess now! Sure I was a little mad at first, but seeing you grow and change as a person over the last two years? I couldn’t be prouder of you.”

“Oh, stop, you’re making me blush.” Said “Twilight”, visibly reddening. “You’ve taught me everything I know about this friendship business anyway. I’d have been lost without your help. I’m so glad to have you around. And not just because you’re adorable like that.” She started dropping bits of chocolate cake into the jar. “Now, eat up! Trixie worked all day making this for you, didn’t you?”

“Trixie put her heart and soul into that cake. And can I just say, it’s been a pleasure taking care of you for the last two years.”

“Aww, shucks, you guys!” said the happy little brain, as the cake chunks started to dissolve in the solvent. “Mmm, tastes great! And thanks, Trixie! For everything.”

And so the three fast friends enjoyed the rest of the cake in a warm spirit of fellowship. When they were done, Twilight spent the rest of the night resting comfortably on the alicorn’s lap, having her lobes stroked, as the other two read some books by the fireplace and shared stories of the last two years, and their hopes for the many years to come.

Golden Ending: The Element of Magic

Two weeks later, Twilight shivered in her jar, wondering what was in store for her next. Since the Trixies had assumed total control over her life, they had indulged in all manner of experiments on the poor defenceless former unicorn. Electrical currents shot through her lobes, bigger and sharper needles in all parts of her grey matter, and more amateur brain surgery, such as removing her frontal lobes and laughing at the resulting “conversations” that they had taken part in. At the start Trixie would say that this was for the advancement of science, or that this was simply part of her research as a “World class entertainer”, or other such excuses. Eventually though, these excuses stopped coming, and it was apparent that the only reason for these so called experiments was for the Trixies' personal amusement.

“It’s not like you’re good for much else.” Trixie had told her one evening, as she had brainstormed new ideas with her sidekick. “All you do is sit there and float, like a big ugly lump. This way you’re helping someone.”

“Us, specifically.” Clarified Trixie 2. “By being very amusing.” Twilight didn’t give them the satisfaction of pleading for mercy. That just made it more fun for them. The best thing she could do in this sort of situation was give them as little reaction as possible. That way the dastardly duo might get bored and move on to something else.

Trixie was lounging in Twilight’s bed wearing a saucy black corset she must have got from Rarity. Twilight shuddered at what Rarity must be thinking about her now-she would have to get a few things straight with her friend, in case of any misunderstandings that might have arisen. Even if a small part of her did think that her body looked pretty good like that… No, that’s thinking like the enemy! Bad Twilight, bad!

Suddenly, Trixie got to her feet in one smooth motion and smiled. “Aha!” she said, raising a finger as if to indicate a eureka moment. “Trixie’s just had a rather curious thought. What if we both charged her up with magical energy?”

“Oooo…” oooed her clone. “Maybe we could use her as a magical battery.”

“Yes, that would make her actually useful, wouldn’t it?” said Trixie, with exaggerated thoughtfulness.

“Or maybe she’ll explode.”

“That would be good too.”

“What?! No!” said Twilight. “Like, literally, that’s not how magic works. You see, if you’ve read Starswirl’s second essay to Celestia you’d know that….er…” She paused for a split second, a pause which was not noticed by Trixie, to her eventual cost.

“Oh give us a break with your reading and your books” said Trixie, words that Twilight thought would never have come out of her own mouth.”I want to see what happens when I course a disgusting amount of raw magical power into a brain. So that’s what I’m going to do. No complaining or I’ll make sure you really do explode.”

“But-“

“Silence! Begin the test!” The lid to the jar was opened, and the two Trixies stood above it, charging their horns with an intimidating buzzing that sounded like two large, angry hornets having a particularly vicious argument. After a few terrifying seconds of waiting, their magic shot into the jar directly at Twilight. She felt the effects almost immediately. Raw whining power filled every pore of her being, every nook and cranny glowing with radiant light. She felt herself lifted up out of the jar by the sheer force of this power, but she wasn’t scared anymore. She was in control. This was her power now. She was the Element of Magic, after all.

Even after the Trixies had stopped feeding her their magic, she continued to float there above them all, radiating magic. It was at this point that Trixie, in an uncharacteristic moment of self-reflection, suspected that she had perhaps made an error.

“This…was not what I planned.” She said.

“I KNOW.” Twilight’s voice boomed out-not mentally, but physically, somehow. “PERHAPS YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE MORE READING.” Without further ado, the mega-charged brain glowed even brighter. There was a sound like champagne being popped as two skullcaps sprang off of two confused heads. The two Trixies looked at each other with horror, before their faces suddenly went blank. Two blue brains were slowly lowered into a waiting jar, as Twilight floated back into her old haunt.

Twilight Sparkle opened her eyes, which gleamed a magnificent purple, before the blinding light that had filled the room slowly died down and faded out into nothing. Twilight looked around the room, and spotted the top of her head lying upside down on the floor. She levitated it over and put it back on her head -it was a bit loose but that would do for now.

The door opened and Spike bust into the room, holding a frying pan behind his head like a club.

“Twilight, what happened?! I heard a loud voice, and there was all this light, and -oh no, Trixie! Is she ok?”

“Oh, she’s just fine, Spike. See? She’s even got a friend in there.” She pointed at the jar, and Spike walked over.

“Huh? Hey, it’s a different color than usual. It’s blue… like… Trixie? And there’s two of them? Twilight, I don’t understand.”

“It’s ok, I’ll explain everything downstairs. How about you put that thing to use.” She said, pointing at the frying pan he was still clutching. “I don’t know about you, but I’ve not had a good meal in ages.”