Every Little @✴#ing Thing She Does
“So, with your help, I figure these should be done in no time.” Starlight smiled at the assembled row of five as she shuffled through her note cards. Each of the girls casting her a dubious glance of their own variety. The day was off to a questionable start. The five girls had been called to the castle by Starlight, all invited to spend the day with her as a part of her friendship lessons from Twilight.
“Are you sure this is what Twilight would want?” Applejack looked Starlight over worriedly, “Seems like you might wanna take your time with each of these. I mean, there’s kinda a lot to do, Starlight. If anypony here knows about stretchin’ themselves too thin, its me.” She chuckled softly.
“But by working as a team, we can get them done faster.” Starlight raised her hoof to make the point that made perfect sense to her, “And isn’t teamwork a key factor in friendship?”
“Ah...guess?” Applejack shared a glance with Rarity, not entirely sure of how to approach this. Twilight had learned her lessons on friendship from experience, trial and error. Quite a bit of error, one may add, but nonetheless she had learned from the hooves on experience. The ex-cult leader had only really been on the receiving end of a few Twilight Sparkle Friendship Lectures™ thus far and had little to show for it, but hey, maybe this would turn out fine?
“Super!”
They were going to die this day.
“Pinkie Pie! Since we’re baking, you’ll be in the kitchen.” Starlight turned to the mare, saddlebags bursting with party supplies.
The Ponk gasped, as she does at the topic of confectioneries, cheeks puffing up to comical proportions.
Starlight pivoted, moving over to the farmhand and seamstress, “Rarity, Applejack, you two can set up in the library-” Her orders and gesture were cut off by a worried disagreement from Rarity.
“Oh! I don’t know that a dusty old library has the proper lighting! Perhaps we can stay out here in the foyer?” Rarity smiled a little, hoping that if she couldn’t do her work in her actual work place, she could at least commit to a more comparable environment.
After Starlight was sure Twilight wasn’t going to burst through a wall, demanding satisfaction for the defamation of her books, she continued, “I thought that Fluttershy and I could work with the animals right here in the foyer.” Starlight's expression grew a little worried, but she kept her smile up as she switched targets and walked over to the mare in question.
“Oh, um, whatever you think is best.” Fluttershy nodded. Starlight still scared her a bit, well everything scared Fluttershy a bit, but a pony that kidnapped and tried to brainwash her was a bit higher on that list than most other things.
“Greaaat.” Starlight looked up, “Now, Rainbow Dash?”
Rainbow Dash looked down a little boredly, having been watching this as such since it had started. Now, Rainbow wasn’t exactly the sharpest bolt from the cloud, but anyone can learn from repetition, and Dash was already seeing a Twilight-scale meltdown in their impending future. She repressed a sigh, knowing Twilight would smack her around with a lecture or two if she didn’t give Starlight a chance. ‘Again.’ Rainbow added on petulantly.
However before Starlight could continue, Fluttershy broke back into the conversation. “But it might depend on the animal. For instance, this poor little eagle with a sprained wing might be better off in one of the towers...or..are they branches?” She paused, looking upwards. It was a giant tree after all.
“Yeah yeah yeah, sure.” Starlight brushed her off without a second thought, trying to move on again, only to look back with an annoyed expression when Fluttershy continued.
“And these adorable chipmunks might prefer a nook somewhere.” The buttery mare smiled sweetly, petting the furry critters, “Maybe if you took some time getting to know-”
“In a minute, Fluttershy!” She cut her off, wanting to switch topics as quickly as possible. This of course earned a hurt look from the other mare, looking down in disappointment.
Okay, that ticked Dash off a little bit. Not enough to say something, but certainly enough to add onto the pile, “Eh, I dunno if we can chillax properly in the castle. We need very specific conditions for optimal chillaxing.” She shrugged down at Starlight, getting a bewildered expression in return. Rainbow, of course, was absolutely talking out of her flank. Rainbow ‘Danger’ Dash had the unique ability to chillax anywhere and anytime she wanted, regardless of her locale.
“Ohhhh. I just assumed chillaxing could happen anywhere.” Oh dear, she was on to her! Quick! Distract. Distract!
“Heh! Shows what you know about chillaxing.” Dash responded, poking her in the chest with a smirk. The surprised look showed that she had thoroughly confused her. “Lemme do some location scouting!” She darted out of the building to hide the mischievous grin. Rainbow soared high above the castle’s spire, setting down on a cloud overlooking the area. She stretched her wings and shook them out with a groan. There was just something about Starlight she really didn’t like. It was probably her past of massive transgressions built on a crumbling platform of petty reasons, but it wasn’t exactly Rainbow’s place to judge someone with royal immunity.
Dash scoffed, flopping back on her temporary perch, ‘Maybe I should just stay up here, let them all figure things out down there. Starlight looked ready to crack under the pressure and retreat for a bit. Might be for the best.’ She hummed, ‘...course then Twilight would skewer me with the friendship speech later. Decisions decisions.’ The blue mare tossed her options back and forth for awhile before blowing out a breath, “Princess of Lectures is worse.” She rolled back into a sitting position and grabbed a few nearby clouds, ‘Thunderlane can thank me later. One less patch of sky he has to deal with.’ Rainbow of course didn’t need any actual supplies for chillaxing, but Starlight was bound to lay into her with questions if she didn’t return with any form of supplies.
Taking her sweet sweet time, Dash landed on a balcony and walked back into the castle, looking inside and seeing Starlight still trying to bark out orders to the remaining four. Everyone was lined up now for some reason. Instead of giving more complaints though, and trying to urge her to slow down, the four darted off in different directions. Each of them began to do exactly as Starlight had asked them to, all in freaky robotic mannerisms, their pupils shrunk and...Rainbow was feeling freaked out at this point.
As everyone left, Starlight closed her eyes in a self satisfied smile, beginning to walk after Pinkie towards the kitchen. Between Starlight’s track record and her insistence on doing things her way a moment ago, it didn’t take her long to put two and two together on what Starlight had done.
Starlight was about to open the door to the kitchen when she heard a loud whistling approaching her from the other direction. She turned around, expecting to see Dash flying in behind her, “Hey, Da-” Being tackled through the door of the kitchen was not what she expected.
The wooden door buckled from the impact as two flew right through and crashed Glimmer first into the crystalline wall at the far end of the kitchen. The sudden impact knocked the wind out of Starlight, taking a gasp of air as she slid to the floor, Rainbow backing off for the moment, “I knew you were still trouble!” the mare looked over and grabbed something from the counter, right out of Pinkie’s grasp. The earth pony didn’t notice, continuing to make motions with the now missing rolling pin.
“Wait, Dash! I’m so-!” That’s all Starlight could get out before her head rattled and her world went black.
“Well for starters, Princess.” Dr Horse began, “For all the head trauma your friend received, I must say, her horn looks perfectly fine. No cracks, no damage, nothing. Magic backlash and the like won’t be an issue.” He assured.
“Well, at least there's that.” Twilight sighed, looking over at her student who was passed out on the medical bed beside her, “Any idea when she’ll be waking up?”
“She shouldn’t be out much longer. That cooking utensil only caused a concussion it seemed, nothing too serious to worry about. Though there’s no direct place she was hit - or say, nowhere in particular, besides her horn, that she wasn’t hit - I’d prepare for any mixture of spots in her vision, disorientation, light sensitivity, sleep disruptions, depression, nausea, ear ringing, and definitely a few headaches. Her mind’s surely been bruised and needs time to heal.”
“Wowza.” Spike said from Twilight’s back, “Sounds like Rainbow Dash really went to town.”
“...Celestia.” Twilight breathed. “...That’s a lot of symptoms.”
“Hey, the mind’s important.” The doctor replied.
“She would know.” Spike knocked on Twilight’s head with a chuckle.
“Well, yes, and so should someone else we know.” Twilight mumbled to Spike. “Spike! I need you to watch over Starlight for me. ...There’s a certain someone I need to talk to.” With a nod, Twilight walked out into the waiting room where the rest of her friends were waiting, 4 of the 5 holding ice packs to their heads and sunglasses over their eyes.
“I feel like sunshine…” Pinkie mumbled dizzily.
“Well tha’s great for you, sugarcube. ‘Cause I feel like someone stuck a plow in mah ear!” Applejack groaned, setting the ice pack on her head and dropping her hat over it.
“Hey girls, how’s everyone?” Twilight asked, offering Rarity another bag of ice to replace her old one.
“Simply dreadful, darling…” Rarity sighed softly.
“I know. ...A sudden jolt out of a mind control spell is never a good way to go.” She sent a pointed look at Dash.
Rainbow met her look with one of her own and crossed forehooves, setting her magazine aside, “Yeah, because leaving them under would be a great idea.”
“I’m not condoning putting them under one in the first place, but I’m not condoning violence to my student either!” Twilight exclaimed, “What in Celestia’s name got into you, Dash?!”
“What’s gotten into me? What’s gotten into you?!” She stood up, getting in Twilight’s face.
“R-Rainbow, is this r-really the ti-?” Fluttershy gulped, eyes wide as she more or less knew what was coming. Rainbow had complained about it in private to her enough.
“No! I’m gonna say this, because apparently the pony that lived in a library didn’t have enough logic to notice this herself!” Dash shook her head, glaring back at Twilight fiercely.
“What are you talking about?! She made a mistake, Dash! I’ve made a similar mistake before!” Twilight argued.
“That was different! We had known you for like a year and we knew you were a good pony! Starlight’s a crazy cult leader that’s hypnotized ponies before!” She gestured past her into the hospital, “Mistakes are forgetting a birthday! Scheduling a storm on the wrong day! She purposefully cast a spell to hypnotize us! I woulda gone under too if I hadn’t been outside!”
“I had no idea she would do this to you all, but it’s Starlight, she clearly doesn’t know that’s okay! ...Somehow.”
“Yeah! Just like how she didn’t know that stopping the Elements of Harmony bearers from meeting would send the world into like 7 different kinds of jeopardy?!” Dash growled, “Twilight, you let a freaking sociopath into your house and now she’s playing with our brains to try and skip out on your dumb lessons!”
“...She was trying to skip out on my friendship lessons?” Was what Twilight decided to focus on out of that sentence.
“Starlight decided it would be easier to spend time with each of us if she ordered us all to commit to our plans in her way.” Rarity sighed.
“Kinda like speed friendshipping.” Pinkie noted.
“...That’s not how that’s supposed to work.” Twilight muttered. “Still, Dash, even with everything she’s done; violence isn’t the answer!” She exclaimed.
“Wasn’t violence the answer with Sombra, Chrysalis, and Tirek?” Rainbow deadpanned back, “And I think a magic battle across time and space with Starlight also counts as violence.”
“They were way bigger threats than Starlight was! I was able to handle her without the Elements, and unlike the other three, it didn’t end in violence! Starlight chose to come back and study under me. Tell me right now that if I walked up to Tirek and asked to teach him about spending quality time with friends, he’d completely accept my offer!”
“Even if Starlight herself was a smaller threat as a pony, she almost destroyed Equestria multiple times! Technically, she DID destroy it!” Dash fired back, “Well at this rate, who knows? We’ve reformed half the villains we fought, what’s one more?” She shrugged, laughing, “What was Starlight’s reasoning for almost breaking time again?”
The other four were looking away at this point. Things were getting heated between the two friends and none of them wanted to be caught in the crossfire.
Twilight stamped her hoof, “It doesn’t matter, Dash! She asked for my forgiveness, and I took her in; she doesn’t know about friendship and most social norms, so it’s my responsibility to set her straight! This was a bump in the road that will leave the girls with some minor discomfort for a few days, but will teach Starlight a lesson! And you felt the need to pummel her worse than any of them will feel today!”
Dash flinched towards Twilight for a moment, snarling at her, “Do not chastise me for this! She attacked my friends and I responded in kind! She tried this before, can you blame me for thinking she was doing it again? Twilight, she’s crazy!”
“She’s not crazy, she’s misguided! She needs our group to help steer her in the right direction!” Twilight narrowed her eyes.
“No.” Dash shook her head, “She needs your help.”
“I can’t do this alone; she needs to see a healthy example!”
“Oh because that’s exactly what I’d use to describe this right now. A healthy example." Dash shook her head, “The town, the timeline, now this? Once? Shame on you. Twice? Shame on me. Thrice? There isn't supposed to be a third time! Forget it, Twilight. You’re my friend, I love you to death, but I am done here. Starlight’s your student, do whatever you want with her, but for Celestia’s sake, keep me out of it!”
“Fine then!” Twilight bit back, “Considering this is what’s at stake for keeping you in this; feel free!”
Dash nodded, frown on her face, “That’s all there is to say then.” She gave a flap of her wings, jetting back a few feet to the table with Fluttershy, simply going back to her flight magazine. The other girls shuffled in their seats, looking away still.
Twilight huffed, “...I need some fresh air.” She muttered, moving to leave.
“U-um...Twilight?” Fluttershy piped up, catching her attention before she left.
“Yeah, Fluttershy?” Twilight asked, moving a little closer to her.
“Can...you not leave us, um, alone with Starlight again?” She tapped her hooves together, regretting it immediately as she rushed the ice pack back to her head.
“...Yeah.” Twilight sighed, ears drooping, “I won’t let her be alone with you all again.”
“Th-thank you.” She groaned, nodding, “Oh dear, I may be like this for the rest of the day. I hope the little critters don’t mind.”
“I’m sure they’ll be okay.” Twilight nodded, before making her way out like earlier. ‘...Starlight really blew it with this.’ She shook her head in thought, ‘As angry as I am with her wanting to skip out on her friendship lessons; I need my head clear to give her the lecture on why ‘hypnotising your friends to do exactly what you want instead of compromising’ isn’t okay. ...Dash was right, though. She’s done some things under my tutelage - and even before that - that I needed to be firmer on. We can’t have something like this happening again…’
Twilight walked back into the hospital, fully intending on getting her student to apologise to their friends as soon as she awoke from her concussion. She thought this was going to be a long day; now, it wasn’t just because of the summit.
She had lectures to deliver.
Author's Note
Wrote this on a whim with SunnyDays. Go figure. Updates on other stories coming soon.
