Oh Your God!

by Applejack App

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Comedy
Length: 1724

Celestia just living day to day.

This story which I started and wrote while buzzed, is still a gift for ChappedPenguinLips

For just being plain cool.

Also this is for The Group NaPoWriMo 2017

So expect many chapters and a long run of madness with this thing.

No really.

My days are boring so I have to keep myself entertained.

The only way I know how, by playing pranks of course!

This is just me living out a normal day when bored.

Filled with donuts.

Mind Bucking Luna.

War.

Over taxing the poor.

Mind Bucking Luna.

And passing on all my work to Twilight.

Yeah...just a normal day.

Cover Art By Mad Max.

Published 2017-06-06 05:50:07 UTC
Last updated 2017-06-12 23:57:00 UTC

Mind Bucking Luna.- See I Told You.

“Sister! I just got word that you needed to see…” Luna allowed her eyes to widen in pure horror.

“SISTER!” Luna screamed in horror as her sister sat upon the throne limp and lifeless, crimson around her muzzle and drenching her pure white coat wickedly.

At the side of the throne was a crimson stained knife, still dripping wet with the horror that had taken place.

“No why! I loved her…” Luna fell to her sister’s hooves and wept aloud in sorrow, body trembling in despair.

“Fufufu...phst...snort.” She heard my sudden giggling from above her, those naive blue hues gazing up to me in confusion.

“Hahahaha! It’s jam!” I snapped open my eyes and laughed aloud, using my elegant golden magic to lift up a plate of toast from behind my throne.

“...” Luna let her mouth just hang open in shock, tears still dripping down her cheeks slowly.

“Nom-om. We’re immortal sister!” I chewed on a large piece of toast dripping with strawberry jelly.

“...”

“Besides the knife! Hahaha! The knife is a butter knife!” I burst out into a howl of laughter.

My sister simply turned around and slowly exited the room, never saying a word or making a sound.

“Hahaha! Om-nom what a dumbass...haha..arghhh!” My eyes widened in shock as I started to choke on a stale piece of bread in my mouth.

Slamming my hooves roughly back and forth upon my chest, I could feel the world starting to fade away. lifting my hoof up I power slammed my chest one last time.

The sharp piece of toast flying across the room with ease, I slid back in my throne gasping aloud for fresh air as my cheeks were flushed.

Perhaps I would refrain from letting Luna know that happened.

This Is War.

I smacked my lips ever so slowly as I watched the local baker outside my window, he lifted fresh donuts in a large tray towards the window cill.

Their lovely scent flowing high through the sky and traveling ever so slowly to my muzzle, the mere thought of their buttery goodness making me quiver.

“That’s it lift them higher. I know you can.” I smacked my lips softly.

“My Princess!” The head of my Royal Guard exploded into the room in haste, I barely batted a lash anything he had to say was always so boring.

No my attention was needed elsewhere.

“We just got word that The Griffons are thinking of war!”

“Mmmm. Those steamy bastards.”

“Well yes Ma’am they are steaming mad! They say that we are taxing their kind far more than the ponies, when it comes to trade routes.”

“I would love to just take a bite out of them.”

“You say we should attack then? But I think we could end this all peacefully.”

“Just rip them all in half and drink their creamy filling!” I smacked my lips slower and slower, I could feel the drool cascading down my chin.

“But ma’am that’s so brutal…”

“I’ll teach them all to tease me with their snobbish attitudes!”

“I see. Well I’ll order the troops then.” My guard slinked away in sadness as I snapped back into reality.

“Huh? What did you...nah it’s probably not important.” I shrugged off the boredom from my soul and smiled.

I had to order the Royal Baker to get me six dozen donuts from the city.

While they were still fresh.

Luna's Biggest Fan. *Snicker*

Luna's Biggest Fan. *Snicker*

I watched my sister walk into The Royal Hall in a slump, her once shimmering blue hues now dull and bleak. The perfect hue for a nice chat with somepony as stupendous as myself.

“Why do you look so down my sister?” I asked in a chipper and upbeat tone.

“I just fear that I’m not as popular with our subjects as you.” Luna turned to face me at my side, eyes as wide as the moon she controlled.

“Heehee. Nonsense you are popular, in fact your biggest fan is just behind that door.” I almost couldn’t hold back my laughter, pointing a delicate hoof across the room towards a door on the right.

“You don’t say!” Luna beamed with pride and jolted up from her seat, wings spreading she flew across the room and to the door.

I bit my lower lip hard watching on with a smile, her hoof inched towards the wooden frame before stopping. Luna flashing me a fiery and angry gaze.

“When I open this door, there’s just going to be a normal fan again isn’t there?!” Luna frowned in disappointment, muzzle scrunching up cutely.

“Heehee. No of...haha...course not…” I felt my muzzle quiver uncontrollably.

“There is! I can tell by the way you are laughing!” She snapped back.

“Ha!-am...hee-ot-Hoho-aughing….”I snickered wickedly as tears ran down the sides of my cheeks.

“Not this time sister.” Luna rolled her eyes and stomped out the front door.

I waited for her hoofsteps to fade away once more.

Walking to the door I swung it open, a small child waiting happily on the other side gazed up to me brightly. I just snickered aloud and flaunted my hoof to the poor thing.

“Hahaha! She doesn’t have time for you, I’m sorry kid.” I burst out into giggles and ordered the guards to lead the child away.

This was indeed the start of a good day.

Author's Note

A new twist on a old joke.:trollestia:

The Night Never Comes.

“Sister!” Luna pushed open the large doors to The Royal Chamber, her eyes filled with a sense of worry and confusion.

I sat upon my throne scanning over a few new letters sent to me through dragon magic, my violet hues glancing towards my little sister swiftly.

“Yes dear sister? What is it that troubles you?” I asked in a mature tone while my sister walked over to my side and huffed.

“I just read a flyer that stated “The Lunar Art Exhibit.” has been switched to be hosted this morning!” Luna slammed down her hoof roughly on the floor.

“Oh! Yes the exhibit was switched due to the artist needing to be elsewhere in the morrow.” I sighed softly and patted my sister on the shoulder with my hoof.

“But! It’s my exhibit!” Luna folded her ears back slowly and pouted in a whiney manner.

“I know! But I’ll be there in your place, trust me I did everything in my power to switch it back to night.”

“You did?” She asked with a small sparkle in her eyes, mist forming around the sides.

“Mmmhmm. I really did.”

“...”

“Really.” I flashed a large bright smile.

“This is reminding me of the time you took forever to order me a throne…” Luna narrowed her eyes at me slowly in suspicion.

“Phst. I ordered you one didn’t I!” I snorted back softly.

“Yeah but it’s so small compared to yours!”

“I told you there was a gold shortage in the factory! This is as large as they come!” I flaunted a hoof towards the tiny golden throne beside my lovely gargantuan one.

“Besides if you don’t like the size, you can feel free to sit in my throne at night.” I smacked my lips aloud softly in a matter of fact tone.

“But you close the Royal Hall to visitors at night!” Luna snipped aloud with an eye roll.

“You can still come here and sit in it though.” I rolled my eyes back with a frown across my lips.

“I was looking forward to seeing the art based around my night…” Luna simply pinned her ears back and gazed down to the floor.

“I know. I know.” I nodded along with a softening gaze.

Luna shrugged off my words and slowly trotted out of The Royal Hall, closing the door behind her with a soft click.

I made sure her hoofsteps faded off into the distance, snickering aloud softly as I slid comfortably back into my oversized throne.

Using my golden hued magic to lift up a nearby letter, I began to pen my next Royal Order to be put into effect next week with my favorite quill.

Switching The Midnight Gala to the morning.

Why Is Everypony Laughing?

“The Final item on the document is the rise or decrease on taxes in the following areas!” I yawned aloud boredly as the royal Hall was filled to the brim with political ponies, each pushing certain agendas.

Luna at my side in her tiny little throne, eyes gazing out towards the crowd in a elegant silence.

“Canterlot.”

“Pft.” Luna rolled her eyes.

“Fillydelphia.”

“Hee.”

“Manehattan.”

“Fufu.” Luna coughed softly, placing her hoof gently over her muzzle.

“Is something funny dear sister?” I sighed and asked with a raised brow.

“Oh no! Do go on.” Luna smiled back sweetly.

“Las Pegasus.”

“ “Snort.” “

“Saddle Arabia.”

“Oh my…” Luna giggled aloud as she shook her head.

“Trottington.”

“Ha!”

“Baltimare.”

“Hahaha!”

“Grrr. Texhayes.”

“Heeheehee.”

“Cloudsdale.”

“Really?”

“And finally Ponyville.”

“Wow! Didn’t even try on that one.” Luna wiped a tear away from her eye.

“What on earth was so funny!?” I snapped down at my little sister as I swear I could hear chuckling among the crowd.

“Sister when you named these places. Why all the you know?” Luna whispered back in a curious tone.

“What’s wrong with the names?” I asked in confusion.

“Wow! No never mind dear sister.” Luna giggled aloud with a smug smirk.

“Mmmhmm.” I glared narrowing my eyes slowly.

“Perhaps we should send more hay towards Texhayes.” Luna gave a small snort.

“Why are they in a famine?”

“Or better yet! I think Cloudsdale could be bigger.” Luna burst out into a giggle.

“Is overcrowding an issue?” I asked in growing confusion.

“Some say Fillydelphia has the highest birth rate in all of Equestria.” Luna spoke aloud as a few giggles echoed around the hall.

“...”

“I though personally think we should raise the speed limit in Trottington above a trott.” Luna giggled out loudly, the whole hall bursting out into a fit of laughter.

“WHY IS EVERYPONY LAUGHING!” I snapped aloud and glared down to my sister.

This morning was horrible.

What was worse, I felt as if Luna finally got a drop on me.

Note to self.

Make sure she suffers tonight.