Ranting Ponies

by Bendy

Rating: mature
Tags: Random, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Sex
Length: 1160

Spike notices some of his friends have gone crazy today.

Spike notices some of his friends have gone crazy today.

This story is dedicated to some awful stories I read by someone who shall remain nameless. Hopefully you enjoy this one better.

Published 2017-06-07 19:50:12 UTC
Last updated 2017-06-07 19:50:12 UTC

Ponies Rant

One morning, Spike the baby dragon was walking down the stairs. However, he stopped halfway down the stairs when he saw a purple unicorn glaring at him angrily at the bottom of the stairs for some raisin.

“Uh--- hello Twilight.” he said nervously.

“What the fuck did you fucking say to me you fucking gay sympathizing gay faggot fag lover!? How dare you fucking try promote the fucking gay agenda by being a fucking gay purple dragon and by saying fucking hello to me! I thought we were on the same side about the fucking queers?” she shouted.

“Uhhh.. Twilight. What are you talking about? And why are you cru---” he began before she continued to rant.

“The gay faggot movement is trying to push the gay faggot agenda by stuffing gayness down our throats. It is heresy! Fillyfoolers and coltcuddlers are sick gay faggot freaks! I just can't believe this heresy! The gay faggot heretic agenda is pushing their perverted life style down our throats! This is vile and sick and I hope all the fucking gay fucking faggot die! We must kill the gays! We must stop them spreading their vile ways!”

Spike opened his mouth to try say something, but Twilight started shouting even louder.

“The fucking gays are fucking everywhere these gays, spreading their fucking gayness and being fucking gay faggots. Make Equestria great again by getting rid of the gays. Gays make me sick, I feel I like would vomit at the sight of them and shout at the fucking gay faggots for spreading the fucking gay faggot agenda and being gay faggots. I’m tired of these motherfucking gays in this motherfucking land. We need to stop the fucking gays spreading the gayness of the gay agenda. I hate the gays. The gays need to be stopped. We must stop the gayness and the gay faggot agenda. I remember a time when there was no gays in Equestria when I was a little filly. We need to bring back traditional values and stop the gays before it's too late. The gays are ruining this great country by spreading their gayness by being gay. The gays must be stopped! We must stop the gays spreading the gay agenda. You are part of the gay agenda and a traitor, you should be taken away!”

Through Twilight’s endless ranting about the ‘gays’ Spike decided to walk up to her and wave his hand in front of her face. Twilight didn't seem to react to this, and merely continued to rant about the ‘gays’.

“The gay faggot agenda must be stopped. The gays must stop spreading the fucking gay agenda. The gay agenda is destroying the fabric of society--” Twilight continued to ramble on from there, but Spike decided he was no longer willing to listen.

Spike stared in utter bewilderment at his now insane friend rambling on and on about the gays and other things related to it.

“One more thing! You need to become more independent!” she shouted.

“But I’m just a kid!” he protested.

“Don’t give me that you fucking gay faggot!” she screamed.

Suddenly, a light blue rainbow pony flew in, tackling Twilight to the floor and pinning her down in quick session. It was Rainbow Dash of course.

“Hey there, sexy Twilight.” Rainbow Dash said sexfully, staring down at Twilight sexfully.

“Get away from me Rainbow Dash! I’m not a gay faggot like you!” she roared.

The two stared deeply into each other's eyes, before they leaned forward and began to furiously make out like rabid woodchucks, moaning and growling in pure bliss. Spike for his part merely rubbed his forehead, not being able to comprehend what was now happening before him.

With that Spike decided he had enough of this insanity and made his way over to the front door. Unfortunately, just as he was about to go outside, a orange pony with a stetson hat stormed in, trampling over him and leaving him in a heap on the floor.

“What in tarnation are y'all doing?! Ya gay faggots!” roared Applejack.

Twilight and Rainbow immediately stopped kissing, turning to look at Applejack with bright red blushes on their cheeks.

“Uhhh… help. I’m in a lot of pain here.” spoke Spike, in a low voice.

“Shut up Spike!” Applejack shouted at him, before returning her attention back to Twilight and Rainbow. “Anyway, what ya two doing?!”

“Applejack, I was in denial. I am a gay faggot!” Twilight proudly declared.

Applejack gasped in horror, her hat bobbing up and down her head for some reason as she did so.

“I too, am a gay faggot.” confessed Rainbow Dash.

Applejack gasped in horror… again.

“Ya are all sick! Ah knew that article Ah read this mornin’ was true! Ya all become gay faggots of the gay agenda. Ah am shocked so much Ah needed my Ah Big Brother to cock slap me across the face with his massive cock. Now, ah even more shocked. First Cheerilee became a darn gay faggot, now you two! It's so damn gross I think I'm going to vomit up apples!”

“Cheerilee’s a gay faggot. so? That isn’t not disgusting! What makes you think that it's gross? Love is beautiful thing and should be cheered in all ways!” shouted Rainbow defensively.

Applejack's eyes started to twitch as she was gritting her teeth. She then ranted and a nazi officer hat had replaced the stetson hat on her head.

“Cheerilee gone crazy!! Ah will not let Applebloom attend school anymore and turn into a gay faggot by hanging around that fucking gay faggot!! Fillyfoolers and Coltcuddlers are sick gay faggots! The gay faggot heretic agenda is pushing their perverted life style down our darn bootyholes and it pisses me apples off! This is vile, sick and wrong, sick, wrong and vile. Ah hope the that fucking gay fucking faggot dies and rots in the damn ground.” shouted Applejack, continuing to ramble.

All three kept arguing about this for some reason, while Spike looked on in utter bewilderment.“I don’t understand. They don’t behave like this normally. If they keep behaving like that they’ll probably get….. evicted out of the town.”

Spike’s eyes blinked over what he just said.

“Huh, I didn’t even want to say evicted… Why would I even--- Kill the fucking gays and stop the gay agenda.”

Spike gasped in horror. “Now I’m infected by this insanity!” he shouted.

Suddenly, there came a blinding flash of light, when the light faded the three ponies stared at one another in confusion and stopped shouting.

“Errr, Rainbow. Why are you on top of me?” said Twilight, staring up at her with wide eyes.

“Errr, I don’t know.” she said, quickly jumping to her four hooves.

“How did AH end up here? The last thing Ah remember was bucking Apple trees.” said none other than Applejack.

Spike sighed in relief, whatever insanity has happened today it seemed to be over.

End