Yummy Lies
Dan's Comments
DISCLAIMER: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc.
Celestia had enjoyed the 'meet and greet' with the group who'd come to observe the telescopes at the Canterlot University, but they seemed eager to be gone to go look at the sky, and truth be told, Celestia felt a stab of concern whenever she visited that portion of the University.
Guilt, she admitted to herself, If only she could have held on another year. But Celestia knew the wish was foolish. It wouldn't have been a year, it would have been decades, or even centuries.
She had just settled into her opulent bed, when the screams and alarms sounded. Those sound like fillies! she thought and raced from the bedchamber.
Then there was a thunderous boom and it felt as if the tower had been struck by a giant fist. She kept her feet, many of the guards did not, and she raced for the sounds of battle. The hole in the corridor wall, the crater in the floor, filled to overflowing with struggling guards, gave her some hope that the event had been handled without need of her intervention.
Her relaxation was short lived, as the screams she had heard earlier were repeated. While they were clearly elsewhere, they heralded a sudden upthrust out of the crater of all the guards. Dozens of armored ponies hurled into the air like a hoofful of sand. Most struck the walls and ceiling, but far slower than their sudden expulsion from the crater would have indicated. They also fell to the ground in groaning heaps far more slowly that they should have. Celestia took a moment to consider what or whom would be able to cast aside so many guards, and would also see to it they suffered at most bruises from their repulsion.
What next stepped out the crater caught Celestia's attention. Caught her heart and loins in a vice grip.
He's beautiful, she said as the slate-gray, winged unicorn gracefully stepped out of the hole and onto the paving stones of the corridor. His mane and tail billowed in the same unseen breeze that ruffled hers. He paused, unconsciously taking the heroic pose that so many painters and sculptors tried and failed to truly capture. Head upright, staring with eyes and ears into the distance, one hoof raised as if to gallop, the other three firmly on the ground, a tremble in the wings as they prepared to take flight or fold tight for a run.
His gaze fell upon her and she felt her knees tremble. He frowned slightly and Celestia, Ruler of Equestria, Custodian of the Solar Cycle, Former Bearer of the Elements ducked her head at that gaze. He pointed the outstretched leg to a few of the fallen guards and Celestia nodded, understanding that they would require her attention. The smile he gave her warmed her heart and showed her his frown was for his rough handling of her subjects, not any displeasure with her.
The scream dragged her out of 'what might bes' and he took to the air and raced from the room. Celestia paused only to signal to the arriving medics to treat the fallen, before she took to the air to race after him.
Her flight was disturbed by her wings not fully cooperating, and realizing what a fantastically cute plot he had, which made her wings even less responsive. But he was arrowing magnificently through the tight corridors to the source of another altercation.
What awaited them froze Celestia's soul. It was a rough, ever-changing shape, of a color that both defied description yet revolted and nauseated at the same time. In its grip were two of the astronomy group, a red colt and an orange filly. Cadence and Sunset had already issued most of the other children from the crossroads of corridors, while those unlucky enough not to have a path out cowered in various cabinets and closets around the horrific creature.
Everything about this creature screamed 'wrongness', 'predator', and 'evil'. Nothing Celestia had ever faced had provokes such an instant and visceral reaction by its mere presence. Well, two, she thought as she looked at the stallion, But as for negative reactions . . .
The stallion didn't hesitate, he raced in, and delivered a massive point-blank magical attack. While the thing was reeling, he snatched the orange filly and the red colt from the creature's grasp and flew straight to a cabinet. Hovering before it, he thrust the colt and filly into their parents' hooves, then closed the cabinet door again. Wheeling around he charged the monster, firing a continuous beam of power and ending it by stabbing the creature through whatever served as its heart. The vague explosion/collapse of the monster signaled the end of its reign of terror and its existence. The stallion had been closest and seemed to have absorbed the brunt of it.
He staggered a short distance, then collapsed. Guards piled on him, making sure he stayed down until they had manacles, several horn rings, and a wing belly-band to keep him neutralized.
I should have stopped that, Celestia thought as the guards dragged him away. She shook herself and turned to deal with her terrified subjects.
Fleetfoot shook herself, and tore her eyes away from the alicorn stallion in the cell. The guards had realized that no walls could hold such a creature, so a cell where he could be watched from all angles was preferable. Many female, and a few male guards had other reasons for appreciating the full circle view.
"Yes, yes he is," Spitfire said as she struggled to do the same.
"At ease, rookie," Fleetfoot told her, "He might not be dangerous, or he might be, or dangerous but not to ponies."
The younger, recently fledged Wonderbolt nodded, unable to tear her eyes away from the figure in the cell.
Then Fleetfoot spotted the pair of youngsters walking between the bars of the cell. That's a problem, she thought as she galloped to the cell's edge and tried to reach either of the pair and drag them back, We're all looking, but none of us are seeing.
The cell had a fold down bunk, on which had been laid a fairly large but simple meal on a tray. But the alicorn hadn't moved from the spot on the floor he'd been dropped when the guards had left him. He'd been fortunate that he was near the floor drain so when he had to pee, he'd leaned over that to get close enough.
Fleetfoot was embarrassed now that she'd enjoyed that display, as she tried to grab the youngsters who'd wandered in. Another guard had rushed off to get the numerous keys for the door. "Come out of there!" Fleetfoot ordered as Spitfire tried and failed to squeeze between the bars herself.
"Nope." The red colt carried the tray from the bed over towards the stallion who'd sat up, but made no other moves. Either not concerned about the weapons trained on him through innocence or arrogance, or not aware of them. The colt set down the tray just out of reach and slid it the rest of the way. "There you go."
The alicorn nodded and lowered his head to begin eating, cautiously, at the selection before him.
The colt returned to the bed to help the filly pull the blanket off the bed. They carried it around behind the alicorn. He looked back, realized their intentions and laid down to allow them to drape the blanket over him. The pair stood in front and gathered their courage, odd considering they were in a same cell as he was.
"Mister," the orange filly said, "I want ta thank you for saving Macintosh and me. I don't know what that thing was, but we were all plenty scared, until you showed up."
"Yep, thank you," the red colt added.
The alicorn nodded in response.
"If'n you don't mind my asking," the red colt said, "Why didn't you go get the food and blanket?"
The alicorn sat up, all the guards tensed. He pointed to someone in the mass, pointed to himself and then the spot he occupied.
"He took your order to 'remain here' rather more precisely than you meant it," Milestone told his commander, obvious by the facehoofing of the mare as she realized he'd been sitting or lying on the cold ground by her order. The displeasure of the throng at that was palpable.
"Y'all don't talk much," the red colt said.
The alicorn raised his head and mimed a punch to the throat. Indicating he could speak, it just hurt too much after the fight. Again the displeasure of the crowd could be felt. Fleetfoot wasn't so sure. Is it better to imagine him either voiceless or with the most incredible voice, or find out his is a total disappointment? she wondered and tensed as the colt and filly walked close enough to hug the alicorn, who somewhat awkwardly hugged them back. Either unaware of the custom, its implications, or painfully aware of the knife edge he balanced on. The kids detached and walked through the bars, and were whisked away to be severely reprimanded.
The alicorn sampled a bit more of the contents of the tray, before pushing it away, and settling down to go to sleep. Fleetfoot noted the dreamy expression on several of the mares as a result of his handling of the kids, and calculating expressions as they tried to figure out which of the foods he favored, and which he merely sampled.
Celestia watched the two ponies get a dressing down from their parents, and the guard commander. She had to force herself not to intervene. These children live near the Everfree Forest, they need to respect danger, she thought, For their own safety, even if they weren't in any danger this time.
She briefly considered meeting with the male, but discarded that option. He needs some rest, and such a public meeting would stifle any chance at a conversation, she thought, although her mind drifted back to what else it would stifle. Enough of that, she chided herself, Wait until he can talk before that goes anywhere.
She looked over the reports from Sunset and Cadence about the nature of the monster. Considering the report completely lacks Sunset's usual insubordinate tone, I think she's finally seeing a bit of the reality that her studies have shielded her from, Celestia thought, And Cadence needs a bit less seriousness. I've read reports on heroism from senior officers and noncoms that aren't as dry as her factual account. Maybe her way of coping with terror.
Celestia considered the immediate options, first, her own people had no explanation for the monster, its presence or its powers. Second, no one could explain the appearance of another alicorn, especially a male. Third, while the pair were hostile, neither had been able to shine any light on points one and two, giving the slight chance the whole thing was a false flag, that the 'monster' was relatively harmless, and the alicorn was the real threat. He killed it, and is on good behavior until he can strike, Celestia thought, We don't even know what it was, could it have been a scared animal he dispatched, then dispatched permanently, could they be partners putting on a show to get into ponies good graces, could I be jumping at shadows because that's all I can see about this?
She sighed, put all her speculations and worries aside and went back to bed. The morning, more questions and possibly some answers would come soon enough.
Celestia woke with a start, and realized it was . . . normal, her room, her bed, no torn bed sheets and shredded pillows thrown about. She glanced around and was glad there were no guards inside the room.
She sighed and disentangled herself from her bedding. I haven't had a dream like that in centuries, she thought as she tapped a hoof to her chin, I think it was the Sad's Marquis, and his very . . . interesting wife Beady, I wonder what happened to them. She briefly considered the two books, one from each of them, that she had hidden away, that would occasionally 'pop up' when she thought things needed a little stirring. Until they gained widespread popularity, and were banned again. What did they call it last time? Color theory? Slates of gray? I don't remember it's 'resurged' under different names so many times over the centuries. I never thought I'd be one to dream about their little escapades.
She briefly considered the prisoner, who'd either been so quiescent nopony had considered waking her, or had neutralized the entire guard force and was at large. Oh of course he'd storm up here to put me in my place and take what was his by right of conquest, she thought of the extremely lurid dreams she'd had, and shivered, What do they say, you can't steal what somepony is giving away?
She shook out the last of the cobwebs, glanced at the clock and decided she had time to check on him personally before she had to raise the sun.
The guards were all present and on duty as she walked in, and the thick ring of guards around the cell made it clear he was being definitively observed. Most of the ring were mares, but there were a few stallions.
I could walk across their backs and I doubt they'd notice, Celestia thought, As long as I didn't block their sight lines.
She felt the same stirrings she had before as she watched him sleeping on the floor of the cell wrapped in a single blanket. She stifled the desire to pick him up and move him to the bed. Because it would be too hard to resist moving him to your own bed.
The ripple that coursed through the ring when ponies started breaking out of their torpor and waking their fellows that Celestia was here. Helmets were doffed and bows began among those who were off-duty, and salutes from those who were supposed to be here. I wonder how bad a riot there'd be if I ordered the room cleared of all nonessential personnel? she considered as she returned the salute.
She frowned a little when she realized the commotion had woken the prisoner. He'd set the blanket aside and was bowing as all the others were. "As you were," she ordered and looked at the prisoner. "I have been told that you understand Equestrian," she said, and hated the next part, "I am Princess Celestia, ruler of Equestria."
So much for getting to know someone without them seeing the crown first, forever, she complained to herself.
"You may move freely about your cell, and when I deem it wise, you may be escorted to other locations. At the moment, you will have to remain under restraints."
He nodded, his expression of resignation bothered her.
I may as well have said 'the Royal Executioner is on holiday, so you'll have to wait', she thought sourly.
"If you behave, I can instruct the guards to make your stay as pleasant as possible."
Oh that was an awe-inspiring delivery, she thought, and struggled to quit thinking about what a magnificent specimen he was.
"I understand you were injured and cannot speak. When you're better, then we can discuss who you are and how you came to be here."
He nodded, and feeling she could accomplish nothing, other than frustrating herself further, she left. As she walked away, she forced herself not to adopt the hip-swaying walk she wanted to. She caught her reflection and noted the blush, also not standard royal issue.
A typical day at the Royal Court was a sufficiently horrific exercise of the banal that it could drive all other thoughts from a mind, even one who'd survived it for a thousand years. Two toddlers demanding she change the laws of physics could be substituted without any real change to the quality of the debate, or the inherent fairness of the arguments.
Unfortunately, all the background chatter from the useless hangers-on who were only there to be seen, or ensure a rival didn't steal a march on them, were chattering endlessly about him. Even the guards stoic antics to keep themselves from laughing, crying, or rushing over to improve the pony gene pool and civilization with a quick spear thrust were lacking. Many of the mares were looking wistful, and the stallions were stealing glances at Celestia with the knowing aura of a sergeant devising a way to lead his superior officer to the best decision.
Good grief, even the guards are trying to pair me up, she thought, then looked at the wistful sighs in a new light, And so are the mares! They figure he was gift wrapped for me!
Facehoofing, or beating her head against the hardest surface available would be a gross insult to decorum, especially since she'd be headbutting her courtiers, but she still wanted to scream that the normally more rational and reasonable of the court had for once put aside their squabbles and power plays to focus on putting the stallion through a surreptitious charm school, before he was presented to Celestia.
They've realized that none of their sires or sons can have me, so they want to be seen as 'good ponies' by making him acceptable. She looked at some of the peripheral conversations and realized they were starting to do the unthinkable, conversing, and making common cause with the 'ugh' guards. And the guards are actually considering helping the poofs!? What is the world coming to?
The first suppliants were actually a welcome sight in this case, the Apple family were good, hard working, down to earth ponies with a long track record of a) not needing the crown to do everything, b) not doing anything that would need crown intervention in the first place, and c) plain spokenness, blunt without being impolite. She actually smiled as the two parents approached with their two kids trailing behind. They bowed, of course, although it wasn't to 'proper' etiquette.
"Welcome again to Canterlot, and the palace, I hope today will be less stressful than last night," she told them.
The elders smiled. "Your Highness, that's what we were here to see you about. The stallion who saved our little Apples, I understand he was arrested after the -" the mare looked at the kids, "The incident and how he handled that monster."
"Yes, there was also two altercations with the guards," Celestia said.
The parents whispered to each other for a moment. The filly looked like she wanted to interject, but a word from the colt convinced her not to, and he nodded a moment later when their father covered her point. "We'd like to testify on his behalf when he comes to trial," the father said, "And offer a place on our farm if the city life is what causes his, uh, troubles." The man glanced meaningfully at the walls, and the crowd. "There are inside cats and outside cats, if you take my meaning."
Celestia nodded. "I will send a message when his trial is due. And thank you for your consideration for a stranger's welfare."
The four bowed and withdrew. The next were a collection of artists. Even Celestia was a trifle confused at them being here. Another collection of those who'd normally hate each other, she considered the group who were keeping certain members away from each other, but remaining a cohesive whole, One probably directly relates to the other.
"My Little Ponies, what brings you here?" she asked, intrigued for once.
"The specimen in custody, we," the famous painter glanced to her fellow artists, "Offer to help him defray the cost of his restitution, if he will stand as a model for us."
Celestia's jaw didn't drop, and while Prince Blueblood was within easy reach with her telekinesis, and nopony would object if she beat him to a bloody pulp using just her forehead, she knew none of that would eliminate the situation she'd suddenly found herself in. I am not so hard up that the whole kingdom has to show up offering personal testimony, indemnification, and begging and pleading, just so I don't toss away the only male alicron - alicorn! - anyone has ever heard of!
"I will have one of the guards take your offer to him," she said, then couldn't resist trying to set the cat among the pigeons, "Are all of you going to work at once? He does have to remain in his cell, and with the restraints."
To her disappointment, the artists all smiled, grudgingly in a few cases, but unanimity was there. "We already agreed on a single pose, for the first sitting," the artists' spokespony said, and beamed with rapture at the thought of immortalizing such a specimen.
And the possibility of immortalizing the Royal Family, later on, Celestia thought, I can't damn them for their concerns, but they are my concerns first and foremost.
A sick dread settled on Celestia as the artists trotted away on a cloud of rapturous visions of the alicorn stallion in paint and marble. And a collection of guards and nobles approached. Another groups who'd gleefully snub or insult each other, she thought and struggled to keep her placid expression.
The leaders of the two, normally hostile factions exchanged nervous glances, before the noble nodded to the guard officer. An acknowledgment not of the guard being higher ranked, but that Celestia would put more weight on the guard's word than most noble's. "Your Highness, I have surveyed the injuries inflicted on the guards during the battle. While those inflicted by the monster were almost without exception life-threatening."
Celestia leaned forward to demand the details.
"They are all out of danger and recovering," the guard added. "The injuries inflicted by the alicorn, including those he landed on when he crashed through the wall, are minor. We've had training exercises with higher casualties rates and more serious injuries. Given that he slew the attempted murderer, he had to be restraining himself when encountering the ponies he fought." The guard seemed to sag a bit after delivering the line.
"I suspect that there is a recommendation coming. But let me remind everyone that such a show of restraint would also serve well as a trick to work one's way into my and the court's good graces, before an attack from within," Celestia pointed out, voicing the concern that had gnawed at her for quite some time.
The guard frowned, looked at the leader of the nobles who shrugged.
"Highness," the noble said, "Such reflexive actions indicates a huge amount of discipline to instill those reflexes. It would require either a spirit not wishing to hurt another by accident, or a craving for vengeance against Equestria or the Crown to fuel such discipline. Nopony, nobody, holds that enmity towards yourself, and I doubt Equestria has that kind of enemy. If he is directed against a noble, rather than yourself, we may have enemies, but to hire or create such an entity? Nothing they or their immediate ancestors have done would warrant this response to their actions."
"So no one who hates them enough to do this could manage it, and no one who could manage it, hates them enough to do it," Celestia said, and enjoyed watching the noble squirm.
"Er, yes your Highness," the guard said, rescuing his colleague. "So while he can be ruthless in his dispatch of enemies, or specifically an enemy."
"Who was also an enemy of Equestria," the noble interjected.
"Yes, our enemy, to those who were merely in the way, he has shown admirable restraint. And his behavior when he didn't understand the situation, when he arrived, after defeating the monster, and in his cell, have been remarkably passive, not wanting to harm, nor wanting to violate the rules. I think he is not dangerous, providing no one endangers that which he cares about. His own life and freedom do not seem to be high on that list." The guard glanced at the noble.
The noble took up the thread, "Although clearly, the lives and safety of children were. So it may be he arrived at the culmination of his life, chasing down and slaying some great foe. A stallion who has no purpose may fervently seek one, and there are many places he could be convinced to lend a hoof."
"You are suggesting a position in the guard or perhaps a roving inspectorate?" Celestia asked, suspected where exactly he was to be 'stationed'.
"Special Agent of the Crown," the guard said, and the noble nodded to Celestia, "Reporting to you and only you."
"Few ponies would feel comfortable ordering an alicorn, even if we had the right to do so," the noble added and looked properly chagrined by the admission.
"Surely there would be objections, to a relative newcomer being given such an August post and such unfettered access to the Crown?" Celestia said, hoping to hit the two biggest hot buttons for the guards and the nobility.
"No, Your Highness," the noble said.
That's about as clear a statement of 'you need to get laid' as could ever pass their lips, Celestia thought as the shock of their bald statement registered on her face.
"We are of the belief that he is, safe, for our necessary definition of safe," the guard said.
Whatever screaming goes on behind closed door between, or among, consenting adults is none of the guards' business, Celestia mentally translated, Considering some of the nobles' and some of the ambassadors' tastes and past 'indiscretions' there's a wide margin of 'safe'. And I was thinking about that just the other day. Did some of the copies survive the last purge?
"I will consider it. There still must be an inquiry into his arrival, and a trial involving his actions. Assaulting the Royal Guard within these walls and in the pursuant of their duties must be applied fairly to all," Celestia said, and was stunned when both smiled and nodded.
"Of course, Your Highness," the noble said.
"He shall remain under guard, in our custody, until the trial and inquiry are over," the guard added.
And I just gave them a reason to keep him, she thought and was tempted to begin beating her head against a wall. Then she looked up, and saw Blueblood approaching, Ah, yes, my 'favorite' nephew, come to rescue your dear Auntie by pissing off everypony in earshot.
"The, er, place we kept dear auntie Mildew in," Blueblood said, "It is light, airy, must better than some, ugh, dungeon. It's open, available and if Mildew couldn't escape, the alicorn gentle-stallion would be held there. Although if what I've heard is correct, a chalk circle and lack of foalish screaming would keep him restrained."
Blueblood, you had one job, Celestia thought, as her loyal guards, and the nobles who universally despised Blueblood's shadow, let alone the stallion himself, all enthusiastically took up the chorus.
"Of course, my staff has been adamant that they should, shall we say, clean him up a bit," he said and tossed his mane, "Considering how incredible they make me look, they could hardly fail to improve our guest's appearance."
Celestia watched in horrified amazement as another lit match in a fireworks factory not only didn't cause an explosion, but gained Blueblood congratulations, and even a bit of good-hearted ribbing, which he then TOOK! This is impossible, Celestia thought, They can't be all thinking this way . . . or do they? Have I been unreasonable, or vindictive, so they assume I need a release? Are they afraid of the continuation of the throne, so rather than a single immortal ruler, they want a dynasty, or the hint of one?
"I shall consider all your advice and suggestions, as well as your gallant offer," she said, "Thank you, My Little Ponies."
They went away smiling as Celestia looked out the window and assured herself Discord hadn't escaped.
Celestia had desperately hoped that Cadence and Sunset Shimmer had not been infected with the insanity that seemed to be sweeping the entire court, and even Canterlot itself.
What a time to actually hope that Sunset is remaining power-obsessed, instead of learning the lessons of Friendship I've been trying to teach her, Celestia thought as she entered the lab the two were closeted in.
"Have you found - am I interrupting anything?" Celestia asked as the two young mares' expressions changed to foal caught with their hooves in the cookie jar.
The forced smiles worried Celestia more.
"Just speculating that if there's one alicorn stallion," Cadence said.
"There might be more," Sunset added.
Celestia filed away that they'd made this hasty and embarrassing declaration, too easily. So what are they hiding? she wanted to ask.
"Since we're on the subject, what does his cutie-mark mean, and what are his special powers?" she asked.
"We believe it means traveling through gates to other world," Sunset said, then glared at Cadence's stifled guffaw, "Although there are other theories. From more prurient minds." She glared at Cadence who was struggling to keep her composure, and getting a darker shade of pink by the moment. "His experience in traveling from world to world, possibly in pursuit of creatures like the monster should not be discounted."
Cadence couldn't hold it in any longer, and began laughing and pounding the table with a hoof. "Only you would think that!" Cadence said and hooved over a sketch of the stallion's cutie-mark, a torus with a hyperbolic surface going through the middle of it, "Anyone with a heart, will read the metaphor! But you, math!" Cadence couldn't explain more as she dissolved in laughter on the floor, her wing spasming with the intensity of her mirth.
"Princess Cadenza seems convinced it has a more biological inference," Sunset said sourly.
Celestia rolled her eyes and hoped Sunset was correct in her guest. If Cadence is right . . . Celestia facehoofed rather than complete the thought.
Fleetfoot was off duty again, and was part f the sighing chorus, again. Once Celestia had assured him he could move about the cell freely, he had moved from the floor to the bed. He had turned the lone pillow so he could lay on it lengthwise with his forelegs wrapped around it. Now every mare in the place envies a pillow, she thought of her own infatuation.
He hadn't done much beyond sleeping. What he dreamt was hidden from others, but there were no cries of nightmares, and when he snuggled into the pillow, speculation and hormones ran rampant.
There's going to be a baby boom among the guard and palace staff in a few months, Fleetfoot thought as she'd narrowly avoided embarrassing young Spitfire and Soarin' dealing with their stint as guards for the alicorn. Eight hours might be too long, Fleetfoot thought, Rotating the guards out every two hours might reduce the need to a cold shower or swim. Eight hours might be too much to ask.
She'd had to bring her own husband down here to explain the sudden spike in her own libido, and once he stayed for an hour, Fleetfoot was glad her office door had a lock on it. The painters and sculptors had come down, then realized stationing themselves down here was too distracting. The would come down, get a glimpse, then head off to where their studio had been set up. Even true art has limits, she thought as she looked at the angelic face peacefully sleeping, The idiot who'd asked him to look fierce just made things worse. Oh boy did he look fierce, and then sheepish apologized for scaring everypony. Any hold outs lost it at that point. The absolute alpha predator, to cute and fluffy, there are saddle-rippers that couldn't do that in 200 pages, despite their best efforts.
Fleetfoot blushed at the thought of her own barely literate scribblings describing him breaking out of his cell, chasing her down to exhaustion, throwing her onto a cloud, and - then the beige and purple prose destroyed any wonderment of what followed. Why is it I can imagine and capture the chase, and the terror, but when it gets to the climax, I can't put the words down and capture the rapture? she sighed, 'Engorged, violated petal flowers', how could I write that? She shook herself loose and headed out to check on the professionals, then the guards, before she went on shift. She took a long, longing glance backward before she left.
Celestia was only one of dozens in the discreet galleries that overlooked Mildew's old 'cell'. The suite was tastefully furnished, quite sumptuous in fact. The fact it was also completely fire-proof was not obvious to the casual observer. Celestia had picked up the subtle hints he knew he was being observed. And I think he just doesn't care, she thought as he finished exploring and collecting pillows. He assembled them on a pad on the floor, climbed atop them, settled down and went back to sleep. Do the restraints tire him that much? she wondered, They haven't registered he's straining against them. Could his injuries be more severe than they appeared?
She nearly facehoofed at her foolishness. Or it could be he's been in custody less than three days and he is just that tired from his trip, the combat, and having all these ponies staring at him constantly! she reminded herself.
Satisfied he wasn't going to destroy the city, or even the room he was in, Celestia left. She tried to ignore the speculation among the ponies who'd remained behind. Most of it was lascivious, all of it was downright embarrassing. If the saddle rippers heard those remarks, they'd have enough material for a dozen books, she thought as she returned to her room, a bath and some sleep of her own, Maybe dealing with all the ponies exhausted him. She thought as she settled into her own bed after her ablutions.
She'd selected her office for the meeting. The staff had thoughtfully removed all the irreplaceable mementoes, and most of the breakables. In hindsight, I don't think they did it because they thought there would be a fight, she considered and didn't facehoof at the realization.
He arrived, under guard, but with the wing restraints and manacles removed. The 'horn blocker' was still in place, but Celestia knew that wouldn't mean anything if he got serious. He spotted her and bowed. She looked at the job Blueblood's staff had done and her heart raced. Blueblood was always too pretty, but this was a stallion. They'd left enough of a rough edge to make that point emphatically.
She quelled the swishing of her tail and shifting her hips, and fought down her instincts. We are intelligent ponies, surely we can discuss . . . she thought and at his grin towards her, all thought temporarily ceased.
Him gently nosing her brought her back from the most lecherous thoughts. "Are you all right? You seemed to be elsewhere. Your guards in the galleries are still there, and I assure you, I mean you and your subjects no harm," he said in a voice barely above a whisper.
"There are question, about you, about us, and your place," Celestia said, managing not to squeal like a filly.
"What place do you wish of me?" he asked, "I have been teased by others that your command was to have me washed, oiled and brought to your chambers. Since we're in your office, I assume they were teasing. I seemed to bring that out in your people. I apologize, it is a side-effect of my magic, or my nature in my home world."
"Yes, where are you from, and what are you doing here?" Celestia said, trying to keep her mind off the movement of his muscles as he paced, but stayed within her view.
Just nervous, not trying to get around me, she thought and quashed her disappointment about that.
"What I came here for I have done, the Void Wraith is dead, hopefully the last and it didn't get a chance to broadcast this dimension's location to any of their survivors," he sighed and shrugged.
Ah those muscles, Celestia thought.
"I doubt you'd have any use for my 'day job'. The closest analog would be a bee, from the flowers' perspective," he said and did a wing shrug, "That's a bit cleaned up, but it tells the basic story."
"You transmit, ah, pollen, for those who cannot?" she asked.
"For those who have trouble in that regard. Physical and mental. Sometimes it's fear and assumption of inadequacy, for others who wish to be adventurous, certain skills must be mastered. Teaching patience and gentleness was a huge part of the job. A big step from therapist/expediter to monster hunter, but one does what one must."
"Is it a thriving business?" Celestia asked a bit too eagerly to her own ears. She didn't facehoof but the temptation was there. She steered her tone to something more normal. "So do you work at just fertility, or is the therapy more extensive?"
"Smoothing over differences," he said, "Dealing with fears. And educating on, let us say dimorphic practices. My world was far more cosmopolitan than your, with many more forms. Not all flowers work the same, physically or culturally. There's the merely curious, and then those who are long-time companions who seek to fulfill each others needs. I apologize for talking around the subject, but putting it bluntly tends to derail the conversation. Love is love, and the physical is just a different roadmap to the goal."
" 'Goal'," Celestia squeaked, "What is the goal?"
He reached out a wing, and touched her chin. She couldn't keep from trembling. "Health, happiness, letting friends understand and stay friends as they become lovers. Some people are very afraid of themselves, or what others think, so much so they don't listen when everyone around them is telling them they have nothing to fear."
His breath was tickling the fur on her face, she couldn't completely suppress her lashing tail, and what had been eagerness became a painful knot now that he was close. What a time to wish to be one of those primitive chieftains, she thought as she squeezed her eyes shut, He's been 'stripped, washed and brought to my tent', what now?
He breathed on her ear, send thoughts and plans flying in all directions. She struggled to say something, to do something, other than what her body and instincts were screaming for her to do.
"I'll be very gentle, and we can start slow," he said, "I will not hurt someone I'm helping."
"I'msureotherponieswillappreciateyourservicesthankyouIhaveanotherappointment!" she shouted as she ran from her office.
Running through the corridors felt better, safer than staying in the room. With him. He didn't pursue, patience had been part of his life.
The guards, bless them, ran alongside her, until she outpaced them, then pegasi flew alongside. Fleetfoot of all ponies was keeping pace with her, with Spitfire and Soarin' trying to keep up.
Fleetfoot looked at Celestia, running as though Tartarus unleashed pursued. "Oh for Faust's sake! Sister, are you so tightly wrapped that you can't accept it when given to you on a silver platter?"
Celestia came to a stop, and realized nopony else was moving, everything hung there like abandoned props. "Luna?"
"Gorgeous, the whole kingdom pulling for you, and you have go all self-denyingly noble. Could you have a bigger stick up your sun-encrusted butt?"
"Luna," Celestia growled.
"No, a stick might actually scratch that itch. Even farking Blueblood was trying to get you together, and you go super-chipmunk and run away from a bit of fun with a freakin' expert! You could have just stood there and done nothing, but NOOO, Celestia ever-noble has to think of all her Little Ponies first, even when all of them want her to get first taste!"
"LUNA!" Celestia shouted, showing exactly where Twilight learned the 'burst into flame' trick.
"Oops, bye now."
"LUNA!" Celestia shouted as she opened her eyes and looked around her slightly disheveled bedroom, "LUNA!" The alicorn in war-armor stalked the palace.
Author's Note
Yes I know this could have been rated 'Teen', or even 'Everyone' with a little work, but that would have been a spoiler.
Now I have to hide from a particularly miffed pair of alicorns.