'This is too easy' I thought to myself as I split a draugr's head open. Here I was in a damned nordic ruin, killing draugr. Again. Reminds me of when I first started adventuring; I was so excited, and if to be honest kinda scared, walking into one of these ancient tombs. But the thrill, the danger, the excitement, it just isn’t there anymore. It's been twelve years, twelve damn years, and here I am exploring a place I could clear with a wooden sword. There's no challenges for me. The thrill, whatever you call it, it's just not there anymore. And it's not just these ruins that are so easy. Dragons? Killed hundreds. Giants? Killed both them, and their mammoth herds. Nazeem? I sent him up to the real 'cloud district'; he didn't survive the return trip.

Looking up, I could see more draugr coming along. I didn't even bat an eye. The leading one charged me with its ancient nordic battleaxe held high, his ancient armour ringing as it clinked against his bony frame. A sigh escaped my mouth as not one of them actually came within striking distance of me. The draugr wielding the battleaxe had stepped onto a pressure plate, an obvious one at that, and caused a large spiked gate to swing around, violently impaling him and his companions, killing them instantly. As the trap slowly reset, I calmly walked by, curious as to whose idea it had been to create these pointless traps in the first place.

Five pointless rooms, with the occasional find of jewelry or sack of gold, which of course I took. After sifting through the filthy, rotting rooms, I finally arrived at the door leading to the main chamber. I'll admit, unless you got lost in these ruins or were a complete idiot and oblivious to the traps, this small adventure was just a milk run. And the draugr, ha, they're just one big joke. I'm pretty sure the old nords thought they'd just scare whatever idiot would dare come into the ruins. Too bad for them, I’m not a idiot. I took one look at the door between the main chamber and me, where a, and I quote 'batshit crazy mad woman with wizard powers hell bent on reviving Alduin lives'. I doubt if she is anything more than a joke, but anything's better than sitting on my ass all day running Skyrim.

What? I realized both sides in the civil war sucked, so I took the throne instead. Not a single soul said anything when I rode on into Odahviing, and killed Ulfric Stormcloak. Soon after, Jarl Elisif the Fair renounced her claim to the throne. And in less than three days, I was sitting on the throne as King of Skyrim. The Imperials, of course, later tried to argue, and then the Thalmors attempted taking the throne, but when you have an army of dragons at your beck and call, nothing stands in your way for long. It was fun for a while, then the worst possible thing came to me one day. Paperwork. Dear Talos, I hate paperwork.

That's why I'm here at the moment. Earlier, I was taking a walk, bored out of my mind, when I overheard someone asking one of my guards to take care of this woman, but I jumped at the chance. Shaking my head to clear up my mind, I pushed open the door, only to discover it was locked. Normally I'd pick the lock, but seeing it was just wooden door, and the hinges were loose, I took a step back, and kicked it down. It landed with a loud thud, causing some dust to fly before I could see my target, and damn was she beautiful. Curves in all the right places, long ash colored hair, smooth, long tan legs, and her eyes, they were a deep crimson which faded softly to a bright yellow. She was wearing a very revealing crimson dress, which left little to the imagination. It had some sort of golden pattern running up her sleeve and across her chest, then down the other. If she wasn’t a so called necromancer trying to bring back Alduin, I would have placed her as a prostitute.

Without looking up, she said."Who ever you are, you've doomed yourself by interru...." She trailed off as she looked up at me and my one of a kind armor. A look of recognition crept upon her face, and her eyes widened, followed by her mouth dropping, and then came the best part. She started to beg.

"P-please, m-my high k-king, p-please f-forgive my rude behavior s-s-sir," she stumbled, and fell backwards out of her chair, starting to crawl backwards. I just stood with a smirk on my face.

"And do tell why I should? I was in the middle of my morning walk, when one of my subjects comes running into my castle, telling me about someone attempting to resurrect my arch-nemesis?" I take a few steps forwards towards her. She just keeps crawling backwards, at least until she hits the wall.

I walk over to her, crouching down in front of her."I'm waiting."

She looked like she was about to cry. "B-because I-I..."

"Because you what?"

And then the tears began to fall. "Be-because I-I-I... BECAUSE I WANT TO LIVE!" The tears streamed down her face now, gleaming in the pale light.

"So does everyone else.” I replied, rubbing my eyes with my thumb and middle finger. “Let me rephrase my question. What will you do to gain my forgiveness?"

"A-anything sir." I raised an eyebrow at this.

"Anything? Anything at all, no questions?" I asked. She still looked scared, but now there was a little something else, nervousness I believe. Oh this was almost worth the trip out here.

"Yes s-sir," She replied nervously. I felt my smirk grow.

"In that case, get over here, and on your knees" Her face paled. She was about to respond, but the look I gave her changed her mind.

"Y-yes sir." She quickly sat up on her knees, tears momentarily forgotten, coming up to about my hips.

"I think you know what happens next." She nodded, moving to remove my crotch plate.

At least, she was, up until she had a knife within her throat. I pulled out my knife, and blood started pouring out of her. She struggled to look up at me, the light ever so slowly beginning to fade from her eyes.

"I think I'll keep you." And as the life slowly drained out of her, she managed to look confused. I held up a soul gem, to ease her confusion. I chuckled as her soul was sucked into the gem.

"I'll figure out what to do with you later," I said as the soul gem was surrounded in a white light, before fading away within it. It pays to be related to Sheogorath. Even if he is a mad man, he still loves his family. Although we’re technically not related, he became a sort of father figure to me when I was younger. I was an orphan, and he gave me food and drink, and although the food was mostly cheese, I didn't mind. Besides, all I had to do was cause a little mischief, and poof, food. I still wonder where all my stuff goes. Sheogorath said it was a pocket dimension, but one can never be sure with him. Anyways, I'll add... “Damn, I forgot to get the girls name. Oh well.”

Author's Note

Well that's done I know it's short hopefully they'll get longer, rate it if you would 1-10 and if you could provide reason as to why you rated it the way you did, that'd be amazing. Anyway I need a proof-reader, or editor so if you're interest message me and tell me why you think you'd make a good proof-reader or editor. Til next time

~SEDash
P.S anyone know who the girl is?