Paybacks Are Hell

Chapters

An Unexpected Visit
Filing Time
Velvet's Bad Day
Lawyering Up
Divorce Day
The Aftermath

An Unexpected Visit

Returning to an Empty House

Several hours had passed after storming out of his house when Night Light returned home. He headed into his house with a scowl on his face, fully expecting to find his wife still getting it on with the princesses. What he would be greeted with would be much different. He was greeted by silence and darkness. He turned the lights on and began to look around the house when he discovered a note, a note from his wife.

“Night Light,

I just want to let you know that I can’t do this anymore. I can no longer live the lie of being married to you because I no longer love you, my true love is the princesses now. Because of this, I have talked to Celestia and I want a divorce. This is all the more detail I will go into here. If you want to go over things further, go to the palace and ask Celestia or Luna if you may see me. I want you to know that I wish you no ill will but I simply can’t do this anymore.

Twilight Velvet”

The note only intensified his scowl. He growled to himself, "So she wants a divorce does she?" He then began to realize that she would be so busy with the princesses that he may be able to file first, which in his opinion should give him a bit of an advantage. He continued, "Well, she shall get her divorce."

Given that it was already after 1700, he knew that he would have to wait until tomorrow morning to head to the courthouse. Luckily for him, he had a couple more days before he had to return to work so doing so would be easy.

Father/Son Discussions

A couple hours after getting home somepony knocked on the door. Night Light was in no mood for visitors so he yelled, "Go away! I'm in no mood to see any visitors."

The pony at the door yelled, "Dad, it's me. We need to talk."

Night Light knew that voice very well, it was Shining Armor. He rushed to the door to let him in and would not only be greeted by his son, but Flurry Heart as well. He hugged Shining and asked, "Son, what brings you by?" He then hugged Flurry and asked, "How's the most adorable filly in the world?"

Flurry giggled before flying up, landing on Night Light's back and wrapping her arms around him. Shining asked, "Dad, can we come in?"

Night Light replied, "Of course you can, besides, I need to talk to you about something."

Shining said, "That's why I came to see you, we need to talk and I have a feeling it is about the same thing."

Night Light asked, "Does it involve your mother?"

Shining replied, "Yes, it does."

Night Light pointed towards the living room and ordered, "Well let's go in and sit down so we can discuss this."

Shining nodded and the two headed in and sat down. Once they got comfortably seated Night Light asked, "So son, what is it you need to talk about?"

Shining replied, "Well this may be a lot to take in but here I go." He took a breath before continuing, "Well a few days ago mom, Celestia and Luna decide to make an unannounced visit up to the Crystal Empire. Mom said that since you headed off to a buckball game with your friends that she decided to go up there and pay us a visit."

Night Light commented, "When I left she had me drop her off at the palace because she was going to visit Celestia and Luna. Apparently they decided to go up there and pay you guys a visit."

Shining continued, "Yes that is the case but something was not right with mom, not at all."

While Night Light knew a whole lot about what happened, he figured he would let his son tell him everything that he saw up there. He asked, "So what was wrong with her."

Shining sighed, "When she got there she was leading Celestia and Luna around by the hands acting like she owned them." He began to become a bit agitated as he continued, "And then she starts groping Cadence and it seemed like she wanted her, sexually."

Night Light asked, "And then what?"

Shining replied, "As it turns out mom has both Celestia and Luna as her concubines and she made sure she got Cadence as well." He became even more agitated and continued, "And to make matters worse, Twilight was up there and helped mom get what she wanted!"

Despite him already knowing about Twilight joining in he gasped, "Twilight did what?"

Shining replied, "She helped mom get what she wanted. Even worse, all four of them dragged Cadence to our sleeping chambers where they basically gang raped her."

This was something that he had no knowledge about at all. He yelled, "They did what? They gang raped Cadence?"

Shining yelled in return, "Yes they did and even worse, mom threatened that if I didn't record it that she would have Luna banish me to the sun." He became angrier as he continued, "I don't know what is going on but it seems almost like mom OWNS the royal pony sisters! How the hell could she have so much leverage over them?"

Night Light replied, "I don't know but when I got home I caught Celestia, Luna and your mother in the bedroom. I caught Velvet abusing Luna and Celestia recording and cheering her on!"

Shining was appalled. He gasped, "What? Mom was abusing Luna and Celestia was not only recording but cheering her on?"

Night Light had calmed down a bit and continued, "Yes, she was. It was after that that I decided I wanted some answers and what I found out was absolutely disgusting."

Shining's eyes grew wide and he asked, "What happened?"

Night Light replied, "Just wait until I tell you everything before you react because I want to do this all at once and I'm sure you will be as mad as I am."

Shining nodded indicating that he would wait to say anything so Night Light began, "Well once I got your mother torn off of Luna I found out some incredibly horrible things. I found out that the reason that she treats Celestia and Luna like possessions rather than ponies is because she has dirt on them. She has threatened them with exposure if they don't give her what she wants and she has dirt on Cadence too."

Shining asked, "What kind of dirt?"

Night Light replied, "Well from the way things sound it seems like Celestia and Luna get it on all the time, Cadence has been with Celestia few times and now for something that enrages me."

Shining asked, "What? Is mom doing things with Twily that she shouldn't be?"

Night Light slammed his hoof on the table and yelled, "Yes, she has. She won't tell me what she did but she said that her and Twilight had some private mother/daughter time." He took a short breath for continuing, "And if what your mother says is correct, she claims that Twilight likes it! She says that Twilight is completely ok with this and even worse, because Velvet has all this dirt on Celestia and Luna, your mother will not face any incest charges."

By this point Shining was angrier than he had ever been in his life. He yelled, "That dirty bitch! That dirty, conniving, manipulative bitch!" He calmed down and continued, "Dad, what do you plan on doing?"

Night Light continued, "Well I want to show you something son." He grabbed the note that Velvet had written and handed it to him. He continued, "I'm sure you know what it is. Luckily I have tomorrow off so I'm headed to the courthouse tomorrow morning."

Shining asked, "Dad, would you want me to come with you?"

Night Light replied, "Perhaps that would be for the best. I really don't know if I could handle going alone."

Shining commented, "Alright, I don't want you doing anything that may get you in trouble." He took a breath and continued, "Dad, since I'll be joining you tomorrow would you be ok if Flurry and I spent the night?"

Night Light replied, "Of course you can stay the night! How often do we get to spend any time together anyway?" He turned to Flurry and continued, "And I really don't think Flurry should be going home just yet."

Shining agreed and given that nopony else was home and Night Light can't cook much of anything they decided to go out before turning in for the night. While Night Light was dead set on getting a divorce, Shining Armor was questioning his future as well.

Filing Time

The following morning arrived and Night Light was up early, before dawn. Like it is every other morning, he headed to the bathroom and after taking care of business, he stood in front of the mirror and looked at his reflection. At first he began to question whether he should file for divorce as he remembered all the happy memories he and his wife had had. He remembered their wedding, the birth of their children and the moments of intimacy from long ago. After that though, he remembered the things from more recent times, her volatile temper, her firing energy at him, her trysts with the princesses and most of all, her incestuous acts with Twilight. He said to himself, "I have to do this. She said that she wanted a divorce but if I file first, I might be at an advantage."

After a moment of self-reflection, he headed downstairs to find Shining Armor and Flurry Heart waiting in the dining room, hoping for a bite to eat. Before Shining could even say anything, Night Light said, "Son, you know I can't cook to save my soul. It will be either we go out to eat or we have cereal."

Shining replied, "Well if it were just us, I'd say cereal would be fine but I don't want Flurry having such a small meal. I'm thinking we should go out."

Night Light agreed, "Sounds good, let's get going."

The three headed out the door and while Flurry was hungry and was anticipating her meal, Night Light was focused on one thing, filing for divorce before his wife could.

After eating a rather hearty breakfast the three headed to the courthouse. As they headed in Night Light had a nervous look on his face realizing that this would be the day that he began the process of dismantling a marriage that he once thought would last for life.

He was unsure as to where he would head to do this so he went to the county clerk's office. The mare at the front asked, "Hello sir, how may I help you?"

Night Light replied, "Well I would like to file for divorce. Who would I talk to about doing that?"

The clerk headed back and grabbed the proper paperwork. She replied, "Here is everything you need to fill out and a list of everything you will need to do this and once you complete this and acquire the proper documents, take it to the clerk of Canterlot Civil Court."

Shining nodded and as they headed out he was shocked that there was not a ton of paperwork that had to be filled out and was pleasantly surprised by the fact that he would only need his birth certificate, their marriage license and another form of identification, such as a driver's license.

Once they got into the car and headed back to the house, Shining could see a smile on his father's face. He asked, "Dad, what's up with the smile?"

He replied, "There isn't a whole lot I have to fill out to get this completed. As long as your mother has not headed to the house and grabbed the marriage license, everything should be just fine."

When they got home the very first place Night Light headed was the basement, where all the family's legal documents were stored. When he opened the safe he began to go through the documents and quickly found his birth certificate but there was one thing he could not find, the marriage license. He screamed, "Where is it? Where the hay is it?"

Shining and Flurry quickly headed downstairs to see what his yelling was about. When they got downstairs Shining discovered his father tearing through all the documents in the safe yelling, "Where is it? Where is it?"

Shining tried to calm his father down but it did not do much good until the yelling caused Flurry to cry. Night Light calmed down and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make Flurry cry. I'm just upset that I can't find the marriage license."

Shining asked, "You don't think mom already came and got it do you?"

Night Light replied, "I doubt it. Given that she simply ran off with the princesses her mind was likely elsewhere." He looked over to his right and saw another safe, one he did not even know was there. When he saw it he gasped, "Wait a minute, what is this? Does your mother have her own safe?"

Shining replied, "It looks that way but I'm not sure how we're going to get in it."

At first Night Light was unsure but then it hit him, he could listen for the lock to click as he was trying to get in. He bent down, put his ear up to the safe and began to listen for the clicking. Each time he heard it click, he would move on to the next. When he heard the third click, he was able to open the safe. He said, "Alright, let's hope it is in here."

As he began to go through the documents in there it would not take him long to find what he was looking for, their marriage license. Right along with it he found partially filled out divorce papers. He saw this and laughed, "Ha! Leave it to her to only partially fill out the paperwork and not bother filling it out."

Shining asked, "What do you mean 'only partially fill out paperwork?'"

Night Light replied, "Well she had begun to fill out divorce papers who knows how long ago and she never completed them so she just stuck them in this safe." He began to laugh, "She's probably too busy bucking Celestia and Luna to even remember they were in here."

Shining nervously laughed, "Yeah probably."

After grabbing the marriage license he locked his wife's safe and headed upstairs to fill out the proper paperwork. As he sat down to do it, there wasn't a whole lot to it, just the normal things regarding name, address and such and such. Eventually though he got to the part that really mattered, why he was seeking it.

He said, "Hmmm....why am I seeking a divorce." He began tapping on the paper until he wrote, "Infidelity, simply growing apart, abuse and irreconcilable differences."

Shining gasped, "Abuse? When did she abuse you?"

Night Light replied, "This was last year before a buckball game we had against Appaloosa. She got mad at me and struck me with energy simply because I wasn't in the mood if you know what I mean."

Shining was in a state of shock. Never once did he think that his mother would do something like that. He asked, "Seriously? She struck you with energy just because of that?"

Night light replied, "Yes, she did." He looked back down at the remaining paperwork and continued, "Alright, back to getting this taken care of."

After another thirty minutes he completed filling out the paperwork and said, "Well son, shall we? I want to get these turned in before the end of the day."

Shining replied, "Yeah, I think we should." His face turned to one of frustration as he continued, "I wish I could get out of my marriage without any serious repercussions."

Night Light commented, "Yeah, if you divorced Cadence you'd lose your royal status." He then got a smirk on his face and continued, "Actually, I'm thinking there may be a way for you to split with Cadence and still hold on to your royal status."

Shining asked, "How is that?"

Night Light replied, "Well we can talk about that later. For now though, I want to go get this paperwork turned in so I can end this nightmare."

After grabbing all the necessary documents, Night Light, Shining Armor and Flurry headed back to the courthouse where they immediately proceeded to the clerk's office. When they headed in Night Light was unsure as to where the office of the civil court's clerk was. Eventually he decided to ask somepony. He headed back to the county clerk and asked, "Hi, I'm wondering where the office for the clerk of civil court is?"

The clerk replied, "It is on the fourth floor. When you get to the top of the stairs, make a left and his office will be at the very end of the hall."

Night Light said, "Thanks."

The three headed to the stairwell and headed up. Once they got to the fourth floor it did not take them long to find the clerk's office. When he got there he was greeted warmly by the clerk, "Hello sir, how may I help you today?"

Night Light replied, "I got the proper documents from downstairs, I am filing for divorce."

He handed him the paperwork and the clerk began to look through it. He asked, "Do you have the marriage license, your birth certificate and another form of identification?"

Night Light pulled out his driver's license and handed it along with the other documents needed so that copies of them could be made. Night Light waited in anticipation while the clerk made the copies and would be happy when he returned. The clerk continued, "Alright, the request for the divorce has been filed and we have copies of everything we need."

Night Light replied, "That's good. I'm just looking forward to getting this over with."

The clerk asked, "Sir, I have a question. With you and your wife going to be separating, where does she live right now? Does she still live with you or does she live elsewhere?"

Night Light replied, "Well she has moved to the palace. She is close with Princess Celestia and Princess Luna." He paused for a minute and continued, "Why do you ask?"

The clerk replied, "We just need to know where to serve her with this summons."

Night Light asked, "So when will she be served these summons?"

The clerk replied, "It should be within two to three days since we have to present this to a judge and get the official legal papers printed up."

Night Light asked, "Assuming she answers the summons, when will I know?"

The clerk replied, "It would likely be the following day. Is there anything else I can help you with?"

Night Light said, "Nope, that is it. You have a good day."

As he, his son and grand-filly headed for the exit, Night Light couldn't help but feel a sense of relief. He realized that soon this would all be over and he can move on. Then another thing crossed his mind, he knew that he had better get a good lawyer to help him get the assets he wants as he knew that Velvet would have the princesses there arguing on her behalf.

Velvet's Bad Day

Three days had passed since Night Light filed for divorce and in the palace, it was just like it was any other day. Luna had lowered the moon, Celestia had raised the sun and them along with Velvet had sat down for breakfast. Unlike it was in the past where Celestia sat at one end of the table and Luna sat at the other, they sat on the side with Velvet. Like she had been here lately, she was much more possessive over the princesses.

When the chef arrived he asked, "So your Majesties and Velvet, what will you be having this morning?"

Velvet replied, "WE will be having eggs, hay sausage, toast and cider."

Luna asked, "We? Whenever I talk like that you punish me but it is ok for you to speak like that?"

Velvet yanked on her tail and snapped, "No little filly, you two will eat what I eat, got it?"

In unison Luna and Celestia sighed, "Very well Velvet." They looked towards the chef and said, "We'll have what she's having."

The chef nodded and Velvet gave the two princesses an intense look. Both gave her a nervous look and Celestia asked, "Velvet, why are you ordering for us now?"

Luna added, "What, do you think the two of us aren't capable enough to even order our own meal?"

Velvet couldn't help but giggle, "Remember girls, I own you! If you don't do what I do I'll expose you, all of you!"

The two hung their heads in defeat realizing that despite them being the leaders of Equestria, that Velvet held a ton of leverage over them.

Once the three had finished their breakfast Celestia headed towards the throne room while Luna headed towards her chambers to get some sleep. Velvet had been a bit rougher with her since moving in to the palace so she hoped she could get in there and lock the door before being caught. Unfortunately for Luna, that would not be the case as Velvet caught her right before she could lock the door.

Velvet yelled, "Princess Luna, what the hell do you think you're doing?"

The fact that Velvet used the word hell instead of hay made Luna nervous, so nervous that she reverted to speaking like she used to. She replied, "Well we were just heading to our chambers to get some sleep. We are most tired right now."

Velvet stormed into Luna's chambers, closed the door and locked it. Once she got in there she spanked Luna and yelled, "Oh no you aren't little filly. We're doing what I want!"

Luna asked, "But Velvet, we are most tired. Canst we get some sleep?"

Velvet yanked on her tail and continued, "What have I said about you speaking like that? You know it pisses me off and now you must be punished!" She spanked Luna hard and yelled, "Get down on that bed, now!"

While Luna did secretly love Velvet, this actually scared her. She shied back and asked, "Velvet, why are you being like this?" She thought maybe that if she finally told Velvet how she felt, that maybe she would calm down. She continued, "Velvet, I don't know if you know this or not but I love you. I fell for you the night you came to talk to me after you had that fight with your husband."

Velvet calmed down a bit and continued, "Oh yes, how could I have forgot?" She began to giggle, "I suppose when I have four princesses in my harem little things like that skip my mind."

Luna was shocked that Velvet would consider that a little thing. She gasped, "Little thing? You consider the fact that I actually love you a little thing?"

Velvet was a bit frustrated over her questioning and she snapped, "Look, I'm sorry ok. Like I said, when I'm having fun with all four of you things like that skip my mind." She began to focus more on the bed and ordered, "Now lay down Luna, for pissing me off you must be punished!"

While Luna and Velvet were in her chambers, Celestia was sitting on her throne relaxing as there was not anything going on that day. Her relaxation would be broken though when a guard and a unicorn came into the throne room. The guard asked, "Your Majesty, where is Twilight Velvet?"

The unicorn added, "I have some papers that I need to deliver to her."

Celestia knew how Velvet would be if she were bothered at this time so she replied, "She is busy right now." She cast her gaze at the guard and asked, "You can leave the papers with me and I will get them to her once she is finished with Luna."

Both ponies looked at her curiously wondering what she meant by 'finished with Luna'. The unicorn said, "Your Majesty, these are legal papers and they can only be delivered to her."

Celestia sighed, "Oh alright, I'll go get her. Don't be surprised though if she is in a very bad mood."

Celestia headed back to get Velvet and when she approached Luna's chambers she could hear Luna screaming in pain and Velvet yelling angrily. She hesitated for a moment before pounding on the door.

This stopped the two and Velvet yelled, "What? Who is it?"

Celestia yelled, "It's me. Velvet, there is somepony in the throne room who needs to see you."

Velvet angrily screamed, "Tell this pony that I'm busy and can't be bothered. Tell them that I will mess with them later."

Celestia yelled, "Velvet, this pony has legal papers. You really need to come now."

Velvet stormed out of the room with her face soaked in girlcum. She yelled, "Who the hell is this pony and what kind of papers do they have?"

Celestia sighed, "Velvet, I don't know but I don't think you should go out there with your face the way it is."

Velvet was so angry that she didn't even pay attention to Celestia. When she arrived in the throne room she stormed over to this pony and yelled, "You have papers for me?"

The pony handed her the papers and replied, "Yes, I do." He did not want to be in the presence of such an angry pony for any longer than he had to. He turned around and headed towards the exit as he said, "You have a good day ma'am."

Velvet paid no attention to him as she began to look through the papers. The moment she saw what they were she went into a rage, "What, divorce papers?"

Her yells quickly got the attention of both princesses. Celestia arrived in the throne room and asked, "Velvet, what is wrong?"

Velvet angrily yelled, "Divorce papers! I've been served with divorce papers!"

Celestia put her wing around her and asked, "But Velvet, I thought you wanted a divorce."

Velvet yelled, "I do but since he filed first, he has the advantage."

By this time Luna had arrived as well. She too put her wing around Velvet and replied, "Do not worry Dear Velvet, while he may get a good lawyer, you will have us on your side."

Celestia added, "Besides, I thought you didn't want the house since you were moving in with us."

Velvet snapped, "Well I've changed my mind. I'm going after it all. I don't want that bastard having the house, the car or any of our shared assets."

Both princesses thought that Velvet may be going into this demanding too much but knew better than to question her decision. Celestia replied, "If that is what you desire, that is what we will help you get."

Knowing that the princesses will help her get everything she wanted calmed her down. She pulled the two close and replied, "Thank you you two. I really appreciate it."

Luna gave her a nervous look and asked, "So Velvet, do you want to get back to what we were doing?"

After being served with these papers, Velvet had no desire for intimacy of any sort. She replied, "No Luna, I don't. Since you wanted some sleep earlier, I'm thinking maybe you should get it." She turned to Celestia and continued, "Celestia, I really just want to be alone right now. Could I stay in your chambers for a while?"

Celestia hugged her and replied, "Of course you can. Stay in there as long as you need to."

Velvet said, "Thank you. Hopefully I won't need too much alone time."

Velvet stormed back towards Celestia's chambers in a very bad mood. She knew that even though she would have both Celestia and Luna by her side, she knew that since her husband filed first, that he would be at an advantage. She began to think to herself, "What if I don't get what I want? What if the judge doesn't play favorites? What if Night Light gets everything? What if he was to expose us?"

Lawyering Up

Three days had passed since Night Light had filed for divorce and he was impatiently pacing back and forth in his living room. Given that Shining Armor and Flurry Heart had headed back to the Crystal Empire, he knew that what happened after receiving the papers would be solely up to him but that may not necessarily be a bad thing.

Finally around 0930 there was a knock on the door. When he opened it he was greeted by a unicorn with some papers. The unicorn asked, "Are you Night Light?"

Night Light replied, "Yes, I am Night Light."

The unicorn levitated him some papers. He said, "The judge has went over the paperwork and here are the official court papers letting you know when the court date will be and who the judge will be."

Night Light replied, "Thanks. You have a great day."

The unicorn said, "You as well sir."

As the unicorn left Night Light looked over the papers in a sense of relief. He saw that the judge that would be handling this was Swift Justice, one who has a reputation of not playing favorites and not being intimidated by anypony's legal counsel. He said to himself, "Well, I better go find myself a good lawyer if I'm to win this."

Night Light began to look through the phone book searching for attorneys. While he was looking through the list of divorce attorneys one in particular caught his eye. He saw a listing for an attorney who focuses solely on divorces, Legal Eagle. There was something about the add that seemed to be calling out to him so he decided to head over to his office and set up an appointment.

When he pulled up to the lawyer's office he noticed that it looked rather fancy and couldn't help but wonder if he could afford this lawyer. He headed in and was greeted warmly by the clerk, "Hello, how may I help you today?"

Night Light replied, "Well I have filed for divorce and I need an attorney. I didn't know if there is any way that I could schedule an appointment."

The clerk flipped through the scheduling book and said, "I do have some good news, there have been a couple of cancellations so Legal Eagle could see you this afternoon at either 1400 or 1600."

Night Light was thrilled when he heard this. He figured that the sooner he could get everything started the better his chances would be of winning this. He replied, "I'll take the appointment at 1400."

The clerk handed him an appointment card and said, "Just be sure when you come this afternoon that you have all the proper documents, such as the court papers, titles to your house and car, a bank statement with all your assets, both shared and ones that are solely yours and the marriage license."

Night Light replied, "Oh don't worry, I will."

The clerk said, "Alright, we'll see you this afternoon."

Night Light nodded and headed out the door. While he was hoping that he could get an appointment with a lawyer soon, he never imagined that he would be able to see one that day. As he was headed home he remembered that he needed his bank statements so he stopped by the bank.

When he headed in he saw that most of the tellers were busy, except one. The one teller that he headed to was a friend of his wife's, Meadow Song and she did not care much for him. She motioned for him to come and coldly asked, "How may I help you today Night Light?"

Night Light replied, "I need a statement with a list of the balances of all my accounts."

She gave him a glare and said, "I can do that for those that are just yours but for your joint accounts with your wife, she will need to be present as well."

Night Light knew it was a lie as he had picked up statements a few months ago when he had to file his taxes. He sighed, "Listen, I was able to pick up documentation of all our accounts a few months ago when I filed my taxes."

Meadow Song had a stunned look on her face before quickly stating, "Well that was then, this is now." Her voice became more irritated as she continued, "I'm sorry Night Light but I can't give you all that information."

Night Light was growing tired of this so he asked, "Meadow Song, do I need to speak to your superior over this?"

While she normally is able to keep her cool, she knew that Night Light was likely up to something. She snapped, "Look, what part of I can't give you all that without your wife being present don't you get." She raised her voice and continued, "Now get out of here before I call security."

Unfortunately for Meadow Song, her superior, Fast Cash, had been within ear shot the whole time and said, "Meadow Song, I have helped this customer before and he does not need his wife present to get documentation on their shared accounts."

Meadow Song rolled her eyes and Fast Cash said, "Meadow Song, just go home for the rest of the day. Come back tomorrow when you'll hopefully be in a better mood and not treat our customers so poorly."

Meadow Song grunted, "Fine."

After she left Fast Cash said, "I'm sorry about that sir. I overheard that you need documentation on all your accounts?"

Night Light replied, "Yes, that is correct."

He began entering information into the computer and asked, "So do you just want a single sheet of paper with only the balances or do you want detailed lists, such as transactions on your checking and savings account and with your retirement accounts, the performance of all stocks in them?"

Night Light knew that he would need more than mere balances. He replied, "I would like the detailed documents."

Fast Cash said, "Alright, I'll get those for you."

Before he could begin to print them Night Light requested, "Before you do that, I need to withdraw 1,000 bits from my personal savings account."

Fast Cash asked, "The one ending in 3847?"

Night Light replied, "Yes, that one and then I need all the documents."

Fast Cash nodded, withdrew the money and proceeded to print off all the documents that Night Light would need. Given that he had to print off detailed documentations on the accounts, it took five minutes but Night Light did not care. He knew what he needed to get. Once he received everything he needed, he headed home to grab the documents he would need from there.

Before he left the house though, a nagging voice in the back of his head told him to grab the note that Velvet had written notifying him that she was leaving. He grabbed it and put it with all the other documents.

Early afternoon had arrived and Night Light had all the documents he needed. He had the financial statements, the marriage license, the titles to both the house and car, the court papers and his birth certificate. He headed out the door with a smile on his face knowing that this will be one step closer to ending the marriage.

Around 1345 he arrived at the lawyer's office, checked in with the receptionist and took a seat. Much to his pleasure Legal Eagle came to get him early. As he headed back Legal asked, "Hello sir, how is your day going?"

Night Light replied, "Oh it is going decent. I had a little squabble at the bank with the teller but in the end I got the financial paperwork I needed."

Once they got into his office and got sat down, Legal asked, "So, you are seeking a divorce from your wife?"

Night Light replied, "Yes I am. Things have been strained between us for a very long time but after what happened recently, I can't do this anymore."

Legal asked, "Could I see all the documents please?"

Night Light nodded and handed him all the papers. Legal began to look over the court papers and looked at the reasons for divorce. He said, "Hmmm....Infidelity, simply growing apart, abuse and irreconcilable differences." He looked up at Night Light and continued, "Well the infidelity and abuse should really help you. I do have a question, what kind of abuse?"

Night Light replied, "Well this happened a few months back when she became very angry with me and struck me with energy solely because I was looking forward to a buckball game and couldn't get in the....."

Legal interrupted him, "Ok, you don't need to go into detail on that. I know what you're talking about." He looked down and continued, "This infidelity, how did you discover this?"

Night Light replied, "Well this has been going on for a while and for quite some time I tolerated it until I found her and Princess Celestia and Princess Luna in our bedroom after going out of town."

Legal's eyes grew wide and he asked, "You're shitting me. You mean that she was actually engaging in sexual activities with the princesses?"

Night Light replied, "Yes, that is correct and if what Celestia told me is correct, my wife has also been getting it on with Princess Cadence and even worse, our daughter, Princess Twilight."

Legal's jaw dropped open. He gasped, "Wait a minute, you mean to tell me I'm going to be dealing with a divorce that involves royals in a way?"

Night Light was worried that this may be his way of saying he wouldn't handle it. He nervously replied, "Uhm, yeah."

Legal said, "Well this is going to be tough but given everything that is going on, this may wind up being a whole lot more than a mere divorce. Your wife and even the princesses could get caught up in an incest scandal." He gave Night Light an intense look and continued, "Now the divorce part I will easily handle but whatever criminal charges become involved here, I won't be able to handle it."

Night Light asked, "Criminal charges? Am I going to wind up facing any charges?"

Legal couldn't help but find it a bit humorous that he would worry about this. He chuckled, "No, the worse thing you may get involved in there is being a witness." He developed a neutral expression and continued, "Alright, back to the infidelity. You said that for quite some time you tolerated it. Why did you tolerate it?"

Night Light replied, "I tolerated it for so long because it kept peace in the household. I had the activities I did with my friends and she had her times with the princesses. It was not until I caught her and the royal pony sisters in our bedroom and found out about the incest that it became too much."

Legal sighed, "Well that's going to work against you. I know how this judge works and he likely won't see it as that being a valid reason BUT putting emphasis on the incestuous relations with your daughter should." He looked down at the papers again and asked, "You mention irreconcilable differences. Could you go into detail about that?"

Night Light replied, "Yes, I can. It was a couple years ago that her and I began to grow apart. For years I have had my interests, such as following the local buckball team and it wasn't until a couple years ago that she began to become very angry over it. She would constantly yell at me over it, belittle me over it and like what happened a few months ago, she struck me with energy and hit me over simply looking forward to a game."

Eagle asked, "Did you go to the police over her striking you like that?"

Night Light replied, "No, I did not. I'll admit, I was a bit scared to because her temper is bad enough. I didn't want to face an even worse wrath."

Eagle said, "Well in court when this is brought up, she'll have to tell the truth or face perjury charges." He looked down again and asked, "So when you say you two are simply growing apart, is it because of this or other things as well?"

Night Light replied, "Well everything that has been going on recently has led to us growing apart."

Legal said, "Hmmm....I see." He looked up again and asked, "So what are you hoping to win in this divorce regarding your shared assets?"

Night Light replied, "Well since Velvet has moved in with the princesses, which I'm guessing is permanently, I want all the assets. With everything she has done AND the fact that she will be living comfortably with Celestia and Luna now, I figure she won't be needing those."

Legal asked, "And what makes you think she has moved in with them?"

Night Light replied, "I grabbed a note she had written me since she left when I was out of the house. The note should be in that stack of papers."

Legal began to go through the papers until he found the note. He read it,

“Night Light,

I just want to let you know that I can’t do this anymore. I can no longer live the lie of being married to you because I no longer love you, my true love is the princesses now. Because of this, I will be moving in with the princesses permanently. I have also talked to Celestia and I want a divorce. This is all the more detail I will go into here. If you want to go over things further, go to the palace and ask Celestia or Luna if you may see me. I want you to know that I wish you no ill will but I simply can’t do this anymore.

Twilight Velvet”

When he finished reading it he looked up with a smile, "Well Night Light, I'm thinking that this note will likely seal it for you. I have dealt with cases where one party moves in with wealthy ponies and is guaranteed a life of opulence and the judge gave the assets to the other party."

Night Light replied, "Well that is good. I'm looking forward to getting this behind me."

Legal said, "Alright. Meet me at the courthouse one hour before the scheduled court time and we can make our final preparations."

Night Light replied, "That sounds good."

Legal looked up at the clock and said, "Well it is almost time for me to see my next client. You have a good day."

Night Light replied, "You as well."

As Night Light left the lawyer's office he was in a very good mood. He knew that maybe his tolerating Velvet's infidelity for a while may not work out that great for him, he was confident that Velvet's note should secure it for him. Now came the hard part, the three week wait for his day in court.

Divorce Day

Author's Note

The court portion of this chapter will be done in back and forth dialogue for the most part.

Divorce Day

Three weeks had passed since his meeting with Legal Eagle and Night Light was waken by the morning sun. For years the sun shining through the thin curtains angered him but not this morning. This morning he woke up with a smile and quickly got up. As he headed into the bathroom he looked at his reflection in the mirror and exclaimed to himself, "Well today is the day! Today is the day that I'm finally free!"

As he headed into the kitchen and poured himself a bowl of cereal for the twenty-first straight day, he realized that he is going to have to actually learn to cook. He sighed, "Well, I may not be able to cook much but I can at least get frozen stuff at the store."

He quickly ate his meal, looked up at the clock and realized that he needed to hurry and get up to the courthouse. He rushed out the door, got in his car and sped off. At first he was going quite fast until he saw a parked police car in the distance so he slowed down, realizing that getting pulled over would make him late and that would not bode well for him and likely cause Velvet to get everything.

Ten minutes later he pulled into the parking lot, arriving at the same time his lawyer did. Legal Eagle greeted him, "Night Light, are you ready for this?"

Night Light replied, "Yep, you bet I am." He knew that he had given copies of all the proper documents to him so he asked, "Do you have the copies of everything we will need?"

Legal Eagle had a brief case with him. He held it up and replied, "Yep, everything we need is in here."

Night Light nodded and the two headed in. It was a little more than an hour before the proceedings would begin so the court room was empty. They headed in, sat on the plaintiff's side and began to go over everything. It would not be long until Velvet and the princesses arrived. As they headed towards the defendant's side Velvet gave not just Night Light a scowl, but his lawyer as well.

Once they got sat down they began to talk about the situation. Velvet saw a bit of a nervous look on the princesses' faces and asked, "Celestia, Luna, why do you look so nervous?"

Celestia replied, "I'm nervous because not only has the judge we drew not cave into pressure, but the lawyer your husband has is the best divorce lawyer in Canterlot."

Velvet asked, "What makes him the best divorce lawyer here?"

Celestia replied, "He has never lost a single case. He has been able to get his client everything he or she has wanted. We are going to have to hope that either your husband winds up lying about something or this judge may feel threatened by the fact that you have both Luna and I representing you."

Luna added, "While this judge did rule against a pony who had Blueblood representing him in the past, we are the top princesses so maybe he will rule in our favor."

Velvet nodded and for the next hour, both sides were making their strategies until the judge made his way in. Like it is in every other kind of legal hearing, everypony rose as the judge entered the room. Once he got sat down the judge, Swift Justice said, "You may be seated."

Once everypony got sat down, he looked towards Night Light and asked, "Night Light, you have filed divorce from your wife and are here to get this done, correct?"

Night Light replied, "Yes your Honor."

He asked, "Do you have all the proper documents with you?"

Night Light replied, "I do your Honor."

The judge asked to see them and Legal Eagle took them up to him. He began to flip through them and said, "Ok, your reasons are abuse, infidelity, irreconcilable differences and simply growing apart." He sighed and asked, "Is that correct?"

Night Light replied, "That is correct your Honor."

Swift Justice asked, "Could you go into detail and explain the details of these reasons?"

Night Light replied, "I shall start off with the abuse. A few months ago I was really looking forward to a buckball game and because of that, my wife wound up striking me with energy, a couple very powerful bolts of energy."

Swift Justice turned to Velvet and asked, "Your reply to these allegations?"

Velvet replied, "That is true your Honor. He was more focused on a buckball game than he was on intimacy, he cared more about it than he did...."

Swift Justice interrupted, "No need to go into those details. I know what you are talking about."

Let's go into the simply growing apart. Night Light, could you explain that?"

Night Light replied, "Yes your Honor. Over the past few years we simply don't seem to care so much about one another anymore. Early in our marriage we seemed to do everything together but here lately not so much and since the incident where she struck me with energy, we have pretty much just tolerated the other's presence."

Swift Justice turned to Velvet, "Your reply to this?"

Velvet replied, "That is true, we simply don't have as much in common anymore and it is more like we simply co-exist, especially after the so-called abuse incident."

Swift Justice sighed, "I see." He then turned to Night Light and asked, "Let's talk about the infidelity. What has she done as being disloyal?"

Night Light replied, "Well your Honor, her infidelity and irreconcilable differences are pretty much under the same thing."

Swift Justice asked, "How so?"

Night Light replied, "Well your Honor, this has been going on for quite some time. As we have grown apart, so have our interests. During the week I work and she stays at home and on weekends I do things with my friends and she heads to the palace and spends time with the princesses."

Swift Justice turned to Velvet and asked, "Night Light has mentioned infidelity. Is there something you do at the palace that causes him to bring that up."

Velvet and both princesses blushed causing the judge to become curious. None of the mares were saying anything so he asked, "Well?"

Velvet replied, "Ok your Honor, I'll be honest. I unwind with the princesses, normally with both of them at once." While Velvet usually tries to be somewhat secretive she thought that perhaps if she revealed everything that Swift Justice may find it as a virtue. She continued, "Well normally Celestia and Luna just unwind together but on weekends, all three of us unwind together."

Swift Justice had a shocked look on his face as he had a feeling as to what was going on but wanted to know for sure. He asked, "When you say unwind, could you elaborate?"

Velvet replied, "We engage in a lot of sexual activities your Honor."

Swift Justice's jaw dropped open when he heard this. He never imagined that the princesses would engage in activities like that with anypony, especially one another. It took him a minute before he finally regained his composure. He turned to Night Light and asked, "Have you ever seen these activities for yourself?"

Night Light replied, "Unfortunately I have your Honor. A few weeks back when I returned home from an out of town trip with my friends I returned home to find my wife engaging in sexual activities with both princesses in our bedroom."

Despite the shock in him increasing, he turned to Velvet and asked, "Your response to these allegations?"

Velvet replied, "They are true your Honor. Night Light did catch engaging in sexual activities."

Swift Justice turned to Night Light and asked, "When you caught them how did you respond and how did they respond. Did you find out why they did this and how long it had been going on?"

Night Light replied, "Yes your Honor. I will admit, I was very angry when I saw this but then again who wouldn't be. Naturally they were shocked and unhappy that I caught them. Now I knew this had been going on for a while and I put up with it to keep peace in the house but there were things I found out that caused me to finally break and file for this divorce."

Swift Justice got a curious look on his face and asked, "And what is it that you discovered?"

Night Light replied, "Well your Honor, I discovered that it wasn't just these three. I also discovered that my wife and the princesses have engaged in sexual activities with Princess Cadence as well but the thing that angered me the most was when Velvet admitted to having 'mother-daughter time' with Twilight."

Swift Justice turned to Velvet and asked, "What is this mother-daughter time? From the way your husband is acting, I am thinking he knows it is something bad and likely illegal."

Given that things have not been going well for her and now that it is likely that not only she, but the princesses will get exposed, she yelled, "You know what? Twilight loves it and yes we did buck each other, we bucked each other a lot and she loves it!"

*POUND POUND*

Swift Justice pounded his gavel and said, "Twilight Velvet, such outbursts are not allowed in my courtroom." At this point it was all Swift Justice could do to keep his cool. While he had been involved in many divorce cases with odd circumstances, never did he imagine that it would involve infidelity involving not just royalty, but incest. He glared at Velvet and continued, "Keep this up and you will be found in contempt of court."

Velvet simply nodded and it wasn't just her who had scared looks on their faces, so did the princesses. They never imagined that their incestuous relationships would be exposed and despite being the rulers of all of Equestria, even they could be in a world of trouble.

Swift Justice was hoping to get this done before he lost his cool. He turned to Night Light and asked, "From what I understand, you are seeking all shared assets, including the house, the car, your shared bank accounts and you are wanting to keep your personal accounts?"

Night Light replied, "Yes your Honor."

Before the judge could reply Legal Eagle added, "In that stack of papers is a note written by his wife on the day she left. I'm sorry for interrupting but I think that should be more than enough to give reason as to why my client should get these assets."

Swift Justice glared at Legal Eagle for his actions but began to go through the papers. When he read the note Velvet left for Night Light, he decided the time to make a decision had come. He said, "I shall take a thirty minute recess to go over everything in my chambers."

Everypony rose as he headed back to his chambers. After he was gone they sat back down and began to discuss their situations. In a low voice Legal Eagle gave Night Light a smile and said, "I think you have this in the bag. With this ruling, transferring everything solely to you will go quite smoothly."

Night Light whispered back, "I certainly hope so. After all the shared assets are transferred to me alone, I don't want to ever deal with her again."

While the mood was good on the plaintiff's side of the courtroom, the same could not be said for the defendant's side. Celestia and Luna were not happy that Velvet would so easily reveal everything they had done, especially their sisterly activities without her. Luna quietly asked, "Velvet, why didst thou mention what we do in the privacy of our bedroom? The judge didst not ask for that information!"

Celestia was very angry as well, so angry that she reverted to the ancient way of speaking, something she had not done in over 1,500 years, "Velvet, thou hast likely sealed our fate! Because of thee, we will likely have to abdicate and even worse, if the populous rebels against the royal family enough, even Blueblood could be forced out." Her glare became more intense as she continued, "Thanks to thee, Twilight will have to abdicate too and the whole monarchy will fall!"

While Luna spoke rather quietly, Celestia was loud enough that Night Light and Legal Eagle overheard her. Legal Eagle, who had never been a fan of the royal family, whispered to Night Light, "You know, this could end Imperial Equestria entirely. This divorce may lead to a new Equestria, a democratically ruled Equestria."

This was something Night Light never took into account and was a bit nervous that he may actually be partially responsible for the fall of the monarchy if it did indeed happen.

Thirty minutes had passed and when Swift Justice entered the room, everypony rose. Like it was before, when he sat down he said, "You may be seated."

The judge's eyes were visibly red as he did shed a few tears over the incestuous nature of not just Velvet, but also the princesses. He did however, have his composure as he began to read his decision.

He started, "Everypony rise." Once everypony rose he began, "After hearing all the details of this, looking over the asset lists and reading the note that the defendant left for the plaintiff on the day of her departure, I have come to the following rulings."

"The shared checking account ending in 4129 shall go solely to the plaintiff. The shared savings account ending in 5490 shall go to to the plaintiff. The plaintiff's individual retirement accounts shall remain in his possession, the plaintiff's personal savings account ending in 3847 shall remain in his possession and the plaintiff shall receive sole possession of both the house and car."

Velvet screamed, "What? That bastard gets everything?"

Swift Justice yelled, "Twilight Velvet, one more outburst like that and I will hold you in contempt of court!"

Velvet shied back, "Yes your Honor."

Swift Justice was ready to draw this to a close. He continued, "On this day, the 27th of June in 2017 of the Celestial Era, I hereby decree this divorce final."

Legal Eagle asked, "So when can my client expect to get the divorce decree in his possession?"

Swift Justice replied, "He shall receive it in two to three weeks." He turned to the princesses and said, "And your client shall receive hers in the same time period." He then pounded his gavel and finished, "Court dismissed." He motioned for the princesses to come to the front of the courtroom and said, "I need to speak to you two alone."

Both princesses gave him a very nervous look as they had a bad feeling that it involves the incestuous activities they had taken part in and worried that it may lead to them having to abdicate.

The Aftermath

After the divorce had been finalized and Swift Justice dismissed court, he motioned for Princess Celestia and Princess Luna to come to the front of the court room. He said, "Your Majesties, I need to speak to you in my chambers."

The two nodded and followed him. When they arrived in his chambers he asked, "Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, what you do in your own palace is your own business but don't you know how illegal incest is?"

Princess Celestia replied, "Yes, we do. After all, we are the ones who made the incest laws so long ago."

Swift Justice asked, "You are the ones who make this law yet you actively break it? From the way things sound, it sounds like you break this law on a regular basis."

Luna commented, "Well yes, we engage in sisterly bonding on a daily basis."

Swift Justice held his low and replied, "You know your Majesties, I have always held you in the highest regards but after today, I don't think I can anymore. Not only do you get it on with each other, you get it on with a private citizen and it sounds like you get it on with Princess Cadence as well."

Celestia said, "We do your Honor." Celestia became very nervous and stuttered, "Y-you aren't going to expose us are you? W-we aren't going to have to face incest charges are we?"

Swift Justice replied, "Because the incest charges were discovered in a civil court proceeding with nopony else around, unless Night Light, Legal Eagle or Twilight Velvet decide to expose you, nopony will know about this."

Luna asked, "Speaking of Twilight Velvet, she currently lives at the castle with us...."

Swift Justice interrupted, "About that. I know it is not my place to give you suggestions on what to do or order you around, but I think it would be in both of your best interests to evict her."

Celestia replied, "Actually, I am considering that. After all, she did expose us and has potentially put the entire monarchy at risk."

Luna added, "And she has done other things besides that."

Swift Justice sighed, "I'm assuming it is things I would rather not know." He began to head towards the door and continued, "Just take what I suggested into consideration. You don't have to do it but like I said, it would be in your best interests to rid yourselves of her."

The two nodded and headed back out into the courtroom to find and angry Velvet. She gave the princesses a glare and asked, "So girls, what did you talk about back there?" She smacked their butts and continued, "Did the judge suggest you get rid of me? Did he suggest you throw me out like yesterday's newspaper?"

Both replied in unison, "Uh, maybe?"

Velvet smacked them, yanked on their tails and yelled, "Well if you know what is good for you, you won't. Remember this girls, I OWN you. You do anything to piss me off, I'll expose you."

Unfortunately for Velvet, a sheriff's deputy noticed her spanking the princesses and yanking on their tails. He walked up to the three and grabbed Velvet. He knew this was likely a very hasty arrest but given that he saw her assault the princesses he figured it was warranted. "Ma'am, you are under arrest. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You are entitled to a lawyer and if you can't afford one, one will be provided for you. Do you understand?"

Velvet snapped, "What, you're arresting me? What for?" She again spanked the princesses and yelled, "What, because I spanked these two, because I spanked my FILLIES?"

As the deputy went to put the cuffs on her, she threw a punch, striking the deputy right in the face. When the princesses saw this, they knew something had to be done. Luna grabbed Velvet with her aura and said, "Well deputy, this should make securing her easier."

Once the deputy got Velvet cuffed, he bowed to the princesses and said, "Thank you your Majesty." Just as he began to haul Velvet to the jail, he continued, "Your Majesties, I just want to let you know that since Velvet abused you and you saw her assault me, you will likely need to be in court as witnesses once we get charges filed against her and hold her hearing."

Celestia replied, "Alright, thank you for notifying us."

As the deputy began to escort Velvet towards the jail, everypony could hear her yelling, "The princesses, they buck each other every bucking day! They buck their niece! They're guilty of incest! Fry them!"

Celestia and Luna heard this. Luna asked, "Big sister, do you think we need to worry about this? She is exposing us!"

Celestia gave her a smile and laughed, "We don't have anything to worry about little sister. Nopony is going to believe the rants of an adulteress who assaulted us and assaulted a sheriff's deputy."

As they exited the castle the two began to think about their lives more in depth and focus heavily on what eventually led to all this. They also realized that with several ponies knowing about their activities, that perhaps they need to change their lifestyles.

Once they arrived back to the palace Luna suggested, "Big sister, I am thinking that perhaps we need to end these incestuous activities that we have been partaking in for so long. This whole experience and the fact that several ponies know worries me."

Celestia replied, "Little sister, while it is going to be very hard, I agree." She began to giggle, "Well I have the perfect remedy for that. Yeah it may cause us to gain some weight but I'll just have to eat more cake!"

Luna laughed, "And I'll have to eat more fritters!" She gave Celestia a more direct look and continued, "We need to make a promise."

Celestia replied, "Twilight has a friend named Pinkie Pie who does this special promise that is not to be broken."

Luna knew all about the Pinkie promise so the two did a fist bump and said,

"Cross our hearts, hope to fly,
stick a cupcake in my eye."

The two laughed and vowed to never engage in any kind of activities that sisters should not be taking part in and wound up sticking to it.

While Swift Justice was talking to the princesses, Night Light and Legal Eagle headed out of the courthouse in triumph. Night Light could not remember a day when he was happier. For him this was the ultimate victory, he felt like his ex-wife finally received her just desserts for everything she had put him through.

Legal Eagle said, "Well Night Light, there is one more thing that has to be taken care of."

Night Light replied, "Getting everything transferred over to me?"

Legal Eagle confirmed, "Yep." He gave Night Light a curious look and asked, "So where do you go from here? Are you going to expose Velvet and the princesses?"

While he initially wanted to, Night Light realized that all that would do is create more drama in his life that he didn't want. He replied, "No, I'm not. Here lately I have had enough drama in my life to last me a hundred lifetimes." He gave Legal Eagle a curious look and said, "Please don't tell me you're going to."

Despite Legal Eagle not caring one bit for Equestira's monarchy, he decided against it but for different reasons. He replied, "While I would truly love to, I have decided against it. After all, Prince Blueblood has done nothing wrong and the very thoughts of him ruling Equestria makes me want to throw up."

The two reached their cars and Night Light said, "Well, thank you for representing me and helping me win this."

Legal Eagle replied, "Well I'm glad I could help you." He gave Night Light a smile and continued, "And you know what? Since you're Princess Twilight's father, I'm not going to charge you anything. This is on me!"

Night Light said, "Thanks!" He got into his car and pulled something out of his glove box, a buckball game ticket. He handed it to Legal Eagle and asked, "Hey, I have an extra ticket for the buckball game against Manehattan this weekend, want to come?"

Legal Eagle had never been to a buckball game before but thought it sounded fun. He said, "You bet I'll come! I'll see you there!"

The two gave one another a fist bump before parting ways. As Night Light drove home, he began to sing, well tried to sing, "We are the Champions." When he arrived home he was cheering in triumph as he headed into what was now his house.

When he got in, he noticed that he had a message on the answering machine. He played it,

"Night Light, this is Judge Swift Justice. One thing I forgot to mention is that you and Velvet need to meet at the County Clerk's office so you can have her name taken off of the property as soon as possible. If you could come as soon as you get this message, that would be for the best. Don't worry about having to put up with her alone. She has been arrested for assaulting Princess Celestia, Princess Luna and a sheriff's deputy so a guard will be escorting her. Regarding the bank accounts, the sheriff's office will take her to your bank so you two can take care of that. You have a good day."

When Night Light heard that Velvet had been arrested for assault, especially assaulting those who she did, he realized that she would likely be locked up for quite some time, especially for assaulting the princesses.

He began to cheer,

"BOOYAH BABY! FINALLY, THAT BITCH GETS WHAT SHE DESERVES! WOO-HOO!"