Who The Hay Do You Think I Am?
Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Equestria, wielder of the Element of Magic, all-around bad-ass... was having a hard time concentrating. Not unusual for her; she was often being pulled in many different directions at once by her various duties and problems. But this was different. This was in the here and now. She had only one duty, and she could not fail.
Her jewelry seemed to weigh her down more than usual. No longer just her crown adorned her; special gem-encrusted pieces of gold covered her from hooves to horn. They channeled her energy outward into a form of magic she had never even dreamed existed. At will, Twilight could encase herself in an over-sized shield of mana. The others called it an avatar or a “Meta”. So long as a pony focused, their Meta would make them stronger and faster; they could shatter trees or dodge raindrops in a storm. They could even talk to any other Meta-bearer they wanted, no matter the distance between them or if their Meta was inactive.
For most, the avatar was shaped as a creature, something close to their spirit. A select few could rise above that and create a Meta with the form of a pony. Usually, they were alicorns like Twilight or her friend and partner Celestia. Some ponies could even combine their avatars into a stronger form. Naturally, Twilight had mastered this quickly after arriving.
Not that it helped here. Nor did the noise. All around Twilight, battle ravaged the already damaged landscape. Her fellow avatar-wielding freedom fighters were barely holding against the Shadowbolts' superior numbers; the enemy's Metas were weaker, but with enough of them... Any moment now her friends could be overwhelmed.
All because she couldn't enchant a stupid battle platform!
The Gaea Everfree was a massive clockwork tower set on six wooden legs. It looked like a virus. Or the bastard child of a steam train and a timber-wolf. Sitting inside the tower was Indigo Zapp, General of the North, current thorn in the side of Team Harmony. Twilight longed to remove the permanent smug look from her muzzle. The only way to do that was to take control of her tower.
Twilight crouched lower, her horn sparking waves of magical energy. The pulses were slow, uneven. The Everfree managed another slow step forward against her efforts. Its leg swept through the battle, knocking aside ponies on both teams.
On the battlefield, Celestia's horn met the beak of Sunset Shimmer's Phoenix. Coronas of fire roiled against one another. “This whole thing- just a set up?” the younger pony realized.
Celestia smirked through the sparks of their Metas. Her pink mane billowed behind her like a victory flag. “It would appear so. Soon, Twilight will have full control over your Gaea Everfree!”
Sunset gnashed her teeth and lashed out with a burning wave. To her surprise, Celestia raised a shield in the shape of her cutie mark- the tongues of flame bounced off harmlessly. The alicorn spread her wings and took to the sky, strafing Sunset with lasers.
How in Equestria did she learn to do that? Sunset wondered.
Focused on Shimmer, Celestia failed to notice the Shadowbolt sneaking up behind her, encased in an incandescent, transparent bear. Her teammates, however, did not; three lances of blue light pounded the enemy's avatar to shreds. The pony flew backwards into a stand of rocks. A moment later, a voice echoed out of the dust: “Trixie issss oh-kay!” Cadence swooped low, waving to her aunt.
“Thank you!” Celestia called out, but she kept her horn pointed at Sunset. Their fight was far from over.
“You cowardly ponies will never succeed!” Shimmer taunted.
“I have faith in Twilight,” Celestia countered. She stepped forward, radiant with energy.
Cadence swooped past again, taking in the lay of the war zone. The Shadowbolts had already split the team up; most were surrounded by enemies. They were doing a decent job of defending themselves- she could see Luna and the Crusaders using their combined Meta-Dragon to crush scores of ponies. But she could also see the sweat beading on the brows of Team Harmony. Sooner or later, they would falter.
“I wouldn't think you'd be the one to fall behind!” A gentle voice jarred Cadence out of her momentary doubt. A yellow pegasus dived past, energy sheathing her in the form of a monstrous colorful insect. Fluttershy steered her Butterfly into the thick of things, shielding teammates with her wings. She wasn't much of a fighter, but she'd never let anyone be hurt on her account.
Cadence grinned eagerly and dived herself; her Falcon tore into the ranks of Shadowbolts with beak and claws. Just don't think about it, she told herself. That was the key to using a Meta.
Out the corner of her eye, a shadow sped closer at an alarming rate. Cadence tucked in her wings and barely avoided crashing into the leg of the Everfree. “Twilight!” she complained.
“Sorry!” the princess squeaked. “I'm not sure what's wrong!”
The mood in the command tent was growing more sour by the second. Sugar Belle and Night Glider crowded up close to the two unicorns monitoring the fight.
“Oh dear,” Rarity murmured. Things truly were not going well for Team Harmony. “I don't think my Meta Enhancers would interfere. They're not supposed to!”
“I don't think that's it either.” Starlight leaned closer to the crystalline display. As dark as it was inside the tent, it was still hard to see every little detail. “Most spells have an emotional balance requirement.”
“What does that mean?” Sugar Belle asked.
Starlight rolled her eyes. “It means that if Twilight's too worried about something, her spell won't work. And she has plenty to be worried about.”
Contrary to Twilight's belief, Indigo Zapp did not have a smug expression on her muzzle as she prowled the Everfree's corridors. The dark-furred pegasus wore something more akin to a snarl. “Have you gotten rid of that pony on our roof yet?”
The Shadowbolt following her nearly tripped over himself. “N-not yet ma'am. The other fighters are keeping our forces busy below!”
Zapp snorted in derision. “I guess if you want something done right...” She paused in front of her destination- a set of double doors like an oversized cabinet. She stomped on the button that opened them. Inside, silver and sapphire gleamed against a white pony-quin. “I'll take her out myself, with my Gigantopithecus!”
Sunset Shimmer sidestepped Celestia's latest blast. She laughed. “Your magic is weak you old fool!” Sunset glanced behind her foe, and saw the Everfree picking up speed. “And it seems your faith was misplaced. Everypony!” she shouted to the other Shadowbolts, “Return to Gaea Everfree! We'll get rid of that annoying brat and finish them off!”
“You are not going anywhere!” Sunset's eyes widened as she spotted the boulder hurtling towards her. She shrieked and lashed out with her magic, but it was too late. While Sunset struggled to free herself, Celestia turned towards her team. “It is up to you ponies! Keep the Shadowbolts away while I help Twilight!”
“Hail, sister!” Luna crushed a pony unfortunate enough to get between her Meta and the ground. “We wish thee luck!”
Twilight felt tears of frustration burn against her cheeks. This was by far the most difficulty she'd ever had casting a spell. At least, casting one that she knew for certain she could complete. “But why?” she growled. “This should be way easier than Starswirl's spell, or Sombra's castle! Why can't I do it?”
Unfortunately, thinking about those old feats just made her remember her old friends, waiting for her behind the portal. They probably thought she was dead by now. Her brother and sister-in-law would have to break it to her parents... the other Elements of Harmony would blame themselves for not coming with her. Her teacher would shoulder the blame, too, more-so even. She was the one who told the Elements not to come...
Behind her waterfalls of misery, Twilight failed to notice the winged figure rising towards her.
“Twiiiiiiiliiiiight!”
Celestia dispelled her avatar and landed awkwardly on the other side of the tower's roof. Her hooves skittered, but then she caught her balance. The elder alicorn rushed forwards and bowled Twilight over, crushing her to the metal, knocking the air from her lungs. The magic dissipated from her horn. “The hay!” Twilight shouted once she caught her breath. “Are you out of your mind?”
Celestia stood over Twilight, more imposing than ever. “This is not the time nor the place for doubting, Twilight. You chose to stay here, didn't you? 'I want to help'- those were your words.” Celestia placed her hoof on Twilight's shoulder with just enough force to be uncomfortable. “You're not helping us if your heart is somewhere else. Now-” She dropped her serious tone and smiled brightly. “Please pull your head out of your plot and get control of this tower!”
Twilight hesitated for the briefest of moments. A part of her wanted to forget the battle and fly as fast as possible to the portal home. She had her crown, which was the only reason she'd come here in the first place.
But Celestia was right. This world needed her, and she'd promised to stay and help these ponies liberate themselves from the Tartarus pit it had become. “Yes ma'am!” she said, and lit her horn.
Twilight's spell traveled over the Gaea Everfree in an instant, fully altering its magic to be in tune with the rebels' mana. The Shadowbolts inside swiftly became prisoners of their own fortress. Celestia relaxed for the first time in days.
Inside the command tent, Rarity was a tad more vocal with her relief. “YES!” she shrieked, hooves to cheeks. “Oh, I simply cannot wait to change that horribly tacky design.” The other three exchanged glances of confusion and exasperation.
Celestia walked to the roof's edge and lit her avatar; she wanted everypony in Team Harmony to see. “We- no, Twilight- did it,” she murmured. “The tower is ours!”
Tying the metaphysical knot of the spell, Twilight was occupied for the moment. But as she placed the finishing touches, she felt a chill travel up her spine. The old phrase- somepony dancing on your grave? It was like that, but far worse. Twilight turned towards Celestia, to ask if she felt it-
KRRRRESEEEEEEWWWW!
The bolt of energy blinded Twilight as it shattered the tower's roof; the Everfree lurched sideways from the force alone. But blindness was nothing compared to Celestia.
Celestia took the full blast to her underside. Without her Meta, she'd have been incinerated instantly. Even with it, the bolt pierced through the mana and burned into her trunk. Her avatar flickered and collapsed; Celestia skidded off the roof, unmoving. Twilight watched in horror as she plummeted to the ground. For a brief moment, golden light flared around the alicorn.
And then she hit the dirt. Even from the height she was at, Twilight heard the sickening crunch of bone. The oily, metallic smell of blood invaded her nostrils. “No...”
Cadence's wings stopped flapping, and she too fell from the sky, though much slower. The pink alicorn settled onto the battlefield looking stunned. “Celestia...”
“Ha!” Indigo Zapp climbed out of the hole in the roof. Her avatar, a truly enormous blue ape-creature twice the size of any other on the field, clung to the tower's side. “I thought you ponies would put up more of a fight. But you're weak!”
“I agree!” Sunset Shimmer flew into the air with a boulder in her claws- the same one that had imprisoned her. Scorch marks on its underside testified to her escape. “And I'd be glad to return their petty insults!” Sunset dropped the rock from high over the tower. Twilight tried to grab it in her magic, but Sunset's own interfered. The hunk of minerals landed directly over Celestia's broken form.
All across the barren plain, the battle ground to a halt. Shadowbolts ignored their opponents to cheer for their leader; the team drifted together in the center of the sea of enemies. Shining Armor placed a hoof on Cadance's shoulder as she began crying. Luna did her best to shield the Crusaders from seeing, but Sweetie Belle pushed her aside. The three fillies clamber to the front, where they were stopped by Rainbow Dash and Applejack. The two mares' lips quivered. Even Double Diamond and Party Favor had no bombast for this.
Twilight staggered sideways. She had no tears left- or simply wasn't capable of shedding enough in the moment. Her eyes were dry as the plain. Or at least the plain had been dry. Now it was stained by blood, a foul slop. Twilight had no more control over her thoughts than her body, bouncing randomly from one idea to the next. She prayed to every deity she had ever heard of that time would come undone. That something, anything, would prevent what had already happened.
“P-princess-” Twilight's legs wobbled. “Cel... CELESTIA!”
The howl tore from her throat like an erupting volcano. Waves of sonic punishment staggered the Shadowbolts and Team Harmony; Sunset floundered across the sky and slammed into Zapp. They fell to the ground, far from the rock pile covering the Team's leader. Both managed to keep their Metas intact, and remained unhurt apart from the pounding in their ears.
The last of her energy spent, Twilight collapsed against the roof. She was done. All that time, all that energy, spent to help this dimension. And to what end?
She was done.
Shining Armor saw it first- the light leaving the Everfree's ports. The magic that kept the walking battle station together was failing. “Everypony run!” He dragged Cadence sideways, forcing the group to move.
The Shadowbolts noticed as well and began to panic. Most scurried to the sides, but more than a few ran down the length of the tower's shadow, only to realize that was the path of most danger.
The Everfree shook and loosed a rain of debris. One chunk would've flattened the entire group if Applejack hadn't summoned her Meta. In the form of an animal Twilight called a “Kangaroo”, the mare kicked the metal and wood into oblivion. “C'mon y'all,” she motioned for them to keep moving.
Shining glanced up as a Crack! split the air. One of the legs split away from the tower completely, crumbling to splinters. Large sheets of wood stabbed into the ground and careless ponies below. The tower leaned further, curving towards the fleeing group. Shining cursed and forced them to turn as well. They would be lucky to make it past the edge now. Truly, they needed a miracle.
She opened one eye slowly, the world filling in piece by piece. There was a weight on her chest, like a boulder- Oh. There was a boulder on her. The pain finally reached her brain, and she registered the hemorrhaging and broken bones. And the burn- her side felt hollow.
No time for that now, she told herself. Twilight and the others needed her.
Celestia reached deep and called on her Meta; it wasn't easy. Pieces of her jewelry had been knocked off or bent out of shape. But enough of them were intact for her to summon a glowing shell around her. With a bit more physical effort, the boulder rolled off to the side.
“Oh, what in Tartarus?”
Things were literally falling apart now. Her Team was running for the hills, the Everfree was collapsing, and pretty much everypony was screaming at the top of their lungs. She almost regretted waking up.
Through the perpetual din, she managed to make out a quick burst from Rarity: “Twilight, you must pull yourself together, Darling!” Ah. That explained the tower. Celestia winced, imagining what her fall had looked like from up there. Undoubtedly bad.
“T-Twilight!” she ground out, sending the call with magic and voice. Everypony would hear her now. She lifted the rock that had sat on her chest in her magic, and hurled it skyward. “Just what do you think you're doing!”
Twilight blinked. She could've sworn she just heard her name, called by the voice she had most wanted to hear. Could it be? The Everfree stopped falling, sustained only by the faintest glow of hope. She crawled to the roof's edge-
And nearly got her head taken off! Twilight ducked as the boulder sailed overhead. It landed in the distance, and she heard a pony's squawk. Some unfortunate had just become a pancake.
“Celestia?” Twilight looked again, and there she was. Battered, broken, but there. “You're alive!”
“Of course!” The elder smiled. “But that hardly matters. Nothing matters to you now- you've won!”
“Huh?”
Celestia rolled her eyes. “The tower belongs to you now. To the Team! It doesn't matter if I'm around to see it or not. Your magic is the magic that will carry us across the heavens, and earth, and into tomorrow!”
Twilight blinked. She had done it- she'd accomplished exactly what she had to. The Gaea Everfree was theirs now. And Celestia was alive- bonus. What right did she have to screw that up for everypony? She started to laugh. “Thanks, Celestia!” Twilight felt a surge of warmth travel down through her hooves and into the tower. Every surface of it lit up with violet light, and the Everfree righted itself. “C'mon everypony, get on board! This one belongs to us now!”
On the plain, the Team began to cheer, and trotted forwards towards the tower.
And then a burst of light skittered across the ground in front of them, the ground shook, and a crack split the land.
Twilight looked westward and grimaced. Indigo Zapp had risen up again, still in her Gigantopithecus. With her fists, she had broken open the earth. “That belongs... to ME!” Zapp snarled. “A gift from the Chaos Lord himself! And I'll die before I see it in your hooves.” She leaped forward, right into the center of Team Harmony, and sent the ponies flying- even the ones without wings. The Shadowbolts rallied behind their leader with new vigor.
Celestia sighed. “I had hoped the feather-brain would just... give up. Twilight,” she called.
“Yes?”
“Let's finish this. We'll combine for this last fight, and finish them off with Blazing Harmony!”
Twilight grinned. “You got it!” The princess leaped off the roof, her wings spread. A quick magic burst burned through two Shadowbolts trying to sneak up on Celestia, and then she was encased in her own, though much smaller, avatar of light.
The two Metas slammed together, Twilight's curling into a ball of light until it formed the head of a pony of light- an alicorn as big as Zapp's avatar. Energy flowed through her and Celestia, soothing their wounds.
“The hay-” Zapp shouted, only to be cut off by the cheers of Team Harmony.
“True power comes not from fear or subjugation,” Celestia declared. “It comes from loyalty to those around you; from the generosity to give more than you have; from staring the truth in the eyes and moving forward!”
Twilight took up the speech. “A small kindness or a shared laugh ignite the magic within us all. This is our creed!”
A brilliant rainbow mane erupted from the head of their combined Meta. “These Elements burn within our souls!” they shouted together, “Combining into one: Blazing Harmony! Just who in the hay do you think we are!”
Cadence smiled, her eyes still wet, but now with tears of joy. “There really is nopony else like them.”
Zapp was not so impressed. “Stand you ground, you idiots!” she yelled at the Shadowbolts. “Destroy them now!”
A wave of ponies surged towards them, but Twilight snorted in exasperation. “Back off, cannon fodder!” She cast a basic shielding spell, encasing their Meta in an orb of power, then poured her energy into it. The orb exploded outward, sending the Shadowbolts flying over the horizon.
“No!” Zapp howled as she watched her army disappear. “You dung heaps!” She urged her Gigantopithecus forwards, breaking into a run. “Ten Thousand Megaton Punch!” The blow, blazing with energy, aimed directly at Blazing Harmony. Neither alicorn so much as flinched. Instead, a barrier formed, like a galaxy, a spiral of stars between them. Zapp's punch impacted directly with the center.
“You will never break through!”
Zapp grunted in surprise as the energy rebounded at her, hurling her backwards. Her rear legs skidded over the dirt before she fell back onto all fours. “Im- impossible!” A wild light of panic entered her eyes.
“Listen Twilight,” Celestia murmured, just loud enough for the other alicorn to hear. “They need you. I need you to believe that you can do what they need you to do. Believe; not in the you I believe in, or the me you believe in; I need you-” Celestia grimaced- “I need you to believe in the you that you believe in.”
“What?” Twilight didn't understand. “What does that-”
Celestia waved her question aside. “Its time to end this!”
Zapp raised her Gigantopithecus' fists. She looked to be on the verge of running away. “I- I am one of the four generals of the Chaos Lord! I will not be defeated by the likes of you!”
Blazing Harmony whipped out a hoof, and chains of golden light wrapped around Zapp's limbs. They splayed her out in an “X” above the desert. She tried to dispel her Meta, but the magic wouldn't cooperate.
Twilight and Celestia lit their horns, their own magic traveling up and into the horn of their avatar. “Solar-” The magic began to coalesce into a ball of energy at the tip of their horn. Pulses of power wobbled across its surface. “Tempest-” More magic rippled over their form, all of it joining together with the miniature star being birthed above them. Blazing Harmony leaned down, until their horn pointed directly at Zapp. “FLARE!”
The light exploded into a beam of pure energy, streaks of color forming a rainbow through its essence. Zapp took the burst directly in the torso. It burned through her Meta, her body, and more than a hundred feet of rock behind her. Everything in its path was shredded to atoms or even less by the force. When the light faded, there was no sign that Zapp had ever been there.
Blazing Harmony faded away swiftly. Twilight dropped to the ground, exhilarated by the victory. “We did it!” she cried, hopping around like a filly. “We did it, Celestia, we did it!” Then she noticed that her partner wasn't celebrating with her. “Celestia?”
The white alicorn lay on her side, her mane spread out behind her. No longer pink, it instead was nearly the same colorful design as their Meta's. But that wasn't what Twilight focused on. Now that Celestia was right next to her, she could see the damage done. Splinters of bone pressed against Celestia's skin. Some had cracked through, and they bled onto the ground. Most serious of all was the gaping wound across her flank. Half of Celestia's trunk had been burned away.
“Oh, no no no no.” Twilight knelt down beside her. “No, Celestia-”
In spite of the pain, the elder alicorn managed a smile. It was soft, and genuine. She whispered two words with her final breath. “Later... Princess.”
Author's Note
I have no doubt a number of people will be asking, “Why the hell would he only make this a one shot? Why not do the whole series?” The answer is because I simply don't want to. Most of GL doesn't hold the same interest for me as KLK. Really, its just this sequence and the series finale that I'm invested in. Everything else, well...
But if some other writer out there wants to try their hand- or hoof- at it, here's a little list of character replacements I planned out. Because I'm super prepared that way:
Team (Dei) Gurren ======> Team Harmony
Simon ===============> Twilight
Boota ===============> Spike
Kamina ==============> Celestia
Yoko ================> Cadance
Kittan ===============> Luna
The Black Siblings ======> Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo
Leeron ==============> Rarity
Rossiu ===============> Starlight Glimmer
Gimi and Dari =========> Sugar Belle and Night Glider
Dayaka ==============> Shining Armor
Zorthy ===============> Rainbow Dash
Kidd and Iraak =========> Fluttershy (if you wanted, you could add Zephyr Breeze)
Makken ==============> Applejack
Leite ================> Big Mac
Jorgun and Balinbow ====> Double Diamond and Party Favor
Attenborough ==========> Pinkie Pie
Nia =================> Thorax, who thinks he's Flash Sentry (or Timber Spruce)
Old Coco =============> Sunburst
Viral ================> Sunset Shimmer
Lord Genome ==========> Discord / Starswirl
Thimilph =============> Indigo Zapp
Adiane ===============> Sugarcoat
Cytomander ===========> Lemon Zest
Guam ================> Sour Sweet
Beastman Butt Monkey ====> Trixie (because why not)
The Anti Spiral =========> Queen Chrysalis
Good Luck!
