Wild Card: Princess of Gambling

by Little Tigress

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character, Comedy, Random, Prince Blueblood, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life
Length: 4523

Equestrian princess addresses politics through gambling

Politics are awful, especially when you are the newest princess of Equestria.

But you know what? I don't care. Sadly for me, Celestia does care and she will do everything in her power to teach me a lesson. Sadly for her, I tend to ignore boring things, like, a lot.

So what do I do? Escape to Las Pegasus and start gambling of course!

Published 2017-06-13 03:10:11 UTC
Last updated 2017-06-13 03:10:11 UTC

Viva Las Pegasus

Wild Card: Princess of Gambling

“This is the last time I’ll tell you this, Wind. You cannot use a casino as your castle!!” yelled a white pony, her eyes twitching. She was in a pristine room, her personal office from where she managed most of the crisis in the land. The fireplace was crackling; the fire had started at the sound of the princess’ thunderous voice.

Standing on the purple carpet in front of the alicorn was a white mare looking at the window.

“Why not?” replied the smaller pony with a smirk. “The owner doesn’t give a flying rock. As long as ponies keep going I can stay all I want.” The pony walked towards her mentor extending her wings, illuminating her horn with a golden aura of pure alicorn magic. “Besides, that’s the best place in all of Equestria to talk about politics.”

Celestia was a very patient pony, the most patient pony in the history of pony kind- that she wrote, by the way- but this new protégé of hers had been testing her virtue since the day she was born. The princess couldn’t help it, she facehooved.

“C’mon, Celestia, you know I’m right,” Wild said turned to face Celestia with her signature smirk, that same smirk that announced disaster.

“I’m sorry; Wind, but I don’t understand your logic. I’m not even sure if it qualifies as ‘logic’” she said while the young alicorn snorted at the mention of her former name.

“Well, you always want me to go to those boring meetings with dignitaries and emissaries, and other ‘aries’, and I don’t care. I know my duty, and I’ll do everything you ask me to, I just ask for a little something in return” Celestia didn’t believe a single word that came out of the mouth of her student, so she just raised an eyebrow.

“And that is…?” asked the princess of the sun.

“I want to do my duties my way! My own casino-castle! Celestia, think about the possibilities!”

And so she did. Houses on fire, drunken ponies on the streets, raining beer from cotton candy clouds and a huge throne in the center of the land, roulette and gambling tables as support, on the throne a pony, a white alicorn with a brown mane, a single stripe of red covering her blood-thirsty eyes. Celestia shivered.

“The answer is still no.” the Princess said, her voice firm as her flank.

“Are you sure?” Wild said shyly.

“My word is law, so yes, I’m sure.” Wild had never seen the princess so serious about something. With that said, Celestia was about to do her grand exit until a quiet voice stopped her.

“Can you at least sign the permission?” said the younger alicorn, a single paper floating in her magic field.

“What?” inquired Celestia.

“You know, I’m moving to Las Pegasus and I need this paper to authorize the whole thing” Wild shrugged when Celestia took the paper. “Bucking system” murmured the alicorn.

Celestia was more than annoyed by all the nonsense. She remembered when Twilight was her student, this kind of conversations never happened! Then again, with Twilight trying to talk about topics besides books was completely impossible, but still, it was better than just hearing how to gamble and drink properly.

The princess, tired as she was, just put her hoof on the paper leaving a royal mark before walking out of the room.

“Good night, Wind,” said the Princess of the Sun, a weary smile on her lips.

“It’s noon, Celestia!” yelled the protégé without getting her sparkling eyes out of the paper.

“Not for long” replied the princess in a playful tone.

Wild Card was about to say something when she realized that the room- and the world, for that matter- became completely dark save for the fireplace.

A blue alicorn appeared at the door, her horn lighting the room with a soft blue glow.

“What just happened?” asked the princess of the night.

Wild shrugged. “I guess Celestia went to sleep early.”

Luna frowned; she then stamped her hoof on the floor with the force of a thousand ants.

“Again?!”

The whole room was quiet, ponies that were playing stopped to watch the alicorn as well as to take the chips of unaware gamblers.

“… And so, I, Princess Celestia, Monarch of the Sun, and ruler of Equestria, hereby decree this casino to be the new castle for the newest princess of Equestria. From now on, the Two Princesses Casino will be known as The Castle of Gambling, home of Princess Wild Card.” The alicorn finished her reading with a huge smile painted on her face despite the incredulous faces of the ponies that were listening. A couple of them coughed before returning to their games.

“You’re crazy if you think I’ll let you move here and take my casino!!” said the owner of said establishment as she walked directly at the pony that had been going for a month or so to raid the tables with her unbelievable luck, two buff earth ponies flanking her sides with stern looks on their faces.

Wild didn’t let those ponies intimidate her; with a smile, she pulled out the paper in front of the angry unicorn mare that was the owner.

“Talk with the hoof,” said the princess. “Or even better, talk with the hoofprint” Wild smirked while pointing at the royal seal that was left by Celestia’s dirty hoof. The unicorn’s face was becoming more and more insecure while watching the floating scroll.

“Seems legit, right?” The cocky smile in Wild’s face was the most annoying thing anypony had ever seen. Worst of all: she was right; the scroll had the seal of Celestia’s approval, there was nothing Platinum Chip could do about it, now her casino was the home of one of the most maddening ponies in the land.

“You win, Wild, but our agreement stays.” Platinum had that serious look on her face that could only precede death if someone dared to betray her trust. “You won’t destroy this building nor will you remodel the place. Are we clear?” with every word Platinum was getting a little closer to Wild, at the end of her statement both ponies were close enough to kiss each other.

“Crystal Empire clear. Don’t worry about me, Chip!” exclaimed the alicorn with her signature wink and smirk, her leg warped around Chip’s neck in a hug. That was the moment Platinum knew her business was doomed.

Being the princess and supreme ruler of Equestria for a thousand years left many teachings on Celestia, she had seen things that could scare most ponies, she had been in places far beyond the borders of her land. She had fought, she had won, she had even lost- although she never admitted that last one- but most important of all, she had learned. It was not easy being the only princess for more than a whole millennium, but she definitely rather reliving a thousand years of pain, fear and solitude than dealing with her rebellious student.

“SHE. DID. WHAT?!” it had been centuries since the last time Celestia used her Royal Canterlot Voice volume, but it made Luna proud to know that her sister hadn’t forgotten how to yell at ponies properly. A couple of servants went flying out of the room with the mighty cry while a single tear started running down Luna’s cheek.

In front of the princesses was a little unicorn mare. Her mane looked like it was made of silver, and her coat was blue like the sky above Equestria, not too dark like the space above the exosphere, it was more like a Blue Stratosphere if that was even a color.

“As I said, your Majesty” the little pony was trembling because of Celestia’s outburst, but managed a little volume in her voice, just enough for the princess to hear. “She entered my casino and stood on a table yelling at everypony to listen to her and then she took out a scroll and declared herself the Princess of Gambling, she took my casino as her castle. Heck, I think she even declared Las Pegasus as her kingdom… Princessdom?” Platinum was suddenly really confused.

While the unicorn resolved her existential crisis, Celestia started thinking. The princess had tried more times than she could remember to discipline Wind Cloud, but all her efforts were fruitless, her student was just… uneducable! Or so though Celestia, because at that exact moment she had the best idea she had had in that year. She would make a test, a test so difficult, so challenging that her protégé wouldn’t have more choice than turn to her for advice.

A wicked smile appeared on Celestia’s lips.

Las Pegasus is a wild place. Wilder than the Everfree Forest itself, as such it only allowed the fittest habitants. Hungry gamblers appeared every day, some of them entered as pawns and left as kings, to others it happened the other way around. This was an unforgiving land, that’s the reason why most ponies were shocked when they saw the newcomer enter the Two Princesses Casino. He was known as one of the richest ponies of the Canterlot nobility, his golden mane was brushed as if Celestia herself had done it, and his alabaster coat reflected the light of the street as a disco ball. Every now and then a mare fell to the floor at the sight of this legendary pony, whether it was because of his fame or his reflective coat was unknown.

The casino was busy at that time, night time to be precise. There were many unicorns and pegasi playing the slot machines and diversity of card games, the smell of beer and apple cider was everywhere, intoxicating the prince’s nostrils since the very moment he entered. It was disgusting for him to have to visit such common place, but duty was duty and this could really favor his relationship with his aunt and his wealth in addition.

His eyes swept the place, searching for the only one that could grant him a better position in the Canterlot food chain. He didn’t have to look too far.

In the middle of the casino was a single table, a bunch of ponies and a couple of mules sitting in front of a Griffin dealer. One of the ponies playing that game was an unusual one, she had a wild mane and an even wilder gaze, but the only thing that matter to Blueblood was the horn on her head and the pair of wings on her back. It was her. With a confident smirk, the prince made his way to the alicorn.

“Hello, miss,” he said, his refined tone barely audible through the noise of the background, a scream. It looked like some lucky pony had just won something really big, or he was on fire, Blueblood couldn’t tell which, and he didn’t really care. “My name is Prince Blueblood, the first.” He presented himself doing a light bow.

“Cool.” Said Wild, her eyes focused on the pair of cards on the table, a Jack of diamonds and a Four of Spades. The prince had a look of bewilderment, such disrespectful pony! Even though he didn’t let that stop him.

“I’m here to address some issues regarding your current position on Equestrian politics,” said the noble prince.

“Yeah, in a minute” mumbled the alicorn, waving her hoof at Blueblood. “Hit.” She said. The griffin put another card on her side of the table, a six of clubs. The noble pony observed with a little intrigue, he knew the mechanic of the game, and so he knew this alicorn had a very good hoof, a perfect twenty, but what really intrigued the prince was the look in the alicorn's eyes, her yellow gaze was lighted with fire. She looked around the table, the other players had surely lower numbers, but they also had more security at the moment of asking for a card.

“Double or draw?” asked the lion-eagle hybrid. The smile in Wild’s lips was enough for the dealer to know what she would say. Still, he waited. The princess was well aware of the group of ponies that were watching her game, it happened a lot, but her eyes focused on the blonde unicorn next to her.

“Double,” said the alicorn mare, a sparkle in her eyes at the moment the dealer was taking the card out of the deck. A loud gasp filled the floor.

“Too… many” said the dealer with a shocked look on his face. On the table was the losing hoof of Wild Card, an exact twenty-two, the two of hearts being the last card. The princess, however, didn’t look upset for her lost. She just looked around before taking a sip from her mug.

“Sometimes you lose, sometimes you win, and sometimes you don’t even know what the hay just happened” exclaimed the mare as she got up her seat. Most ponies were still shocked by what had happened. Usual goers of the Castle of Gambling knew that Wild Card never lost in blackjack, in poker and roulette didn’t matter, but blackjack was the princess’ terrain, her kingdom! A unicorn left the casino screaming about how the end was neigh.

The crowd dissolved quickly, letting- at least- Blueblood and Wild alone. The prince adjusted his collar before talking. It was weird for him to look at a mare directly in the eye, he was not used to the unnatural height of alicorns other than his aunts and what he considered his cousins, Twilight and Cadence. However, he didn’t let that little detail disturb him.

“It is an honor to finally meet you, princess Wind,” he said in the most chivalrous way he could manage, it was really convincing if you were a deaf, blind mole rat.

“Wild,” the princess said flatly. “My name is Wild, and it is a real pleasure to meet you too” her smile was as fake as Celestia’s diet a month ago, but for Blueblood it didn’t matter.

“I’m sorry for the misunderstanding, dear Wild” he then tried to kiss the princess’ hoof but was greeted with an empty mug of beer that got stuck on his muzzle.

“Don’t worry, Blue, it is a common mistake among ponies close to Celestia” her reply had some bitterness in it, but the noble pony decided to ignore it. Besides, he was busy enough trying to get his muzzle out of the mug to care. With a final pull, he was free.

“As I was telling you, princess Wild, I’m here to discuss important matters regarding your role in politics” Wild cringed at the mention of the ‘p’ word.

“Yeah, there’s a little bit of a problem here,” said the mare rubbing her neck with a hoof. “You see, I don’t really like to discuss this kind of topics here, or anywhere for that matter”

“I understand that this must be unnerving to you, but as things are right now I think you should listen before declining the offer I have for you” Blueblood knew that this mare was a skilled player, but he was a very skilled pony himself, he knew how to play with ponies.

“Offer?” asked the princess, her brow raised as her mug.

“Indeed, I’ve been thinking that a pony as intelligent as you could see the pattern here” a waiter was passing by with a tray of drinks on his head, from where Blueblood took a glass of wine. “You are new in this world, and I can assure you that is a dangerous one”. The prince took a sip of his glass. “You will need to learn how to move, what to say and when to do things”.

“Sounds just like gambling, if you ask me” answered she, a confused but confident look on her face. “It’s just question of know when to hit”. She said as she drank from her mug emptying it.

“I see your point, but politics involve more than mere luck”. Blueblood was trying hard to not roll his eyes while he said that.

“Perhaps, as for gambling I’d say is the same, there’s something called ‘strategy’, ever heard of that?” Blueblood didn’t know if it was her tone, the way she looked so confident or the fact that she was mocking him what made him want to scream.

“I don’t mean to disrespect your… err, hobbies, Princess, but this is a matter of real importance”.

“Go on.”

“I propose an alliance”

Wild was speechless. It had only been a month since her official coronation, she didn’t have a great position in Equestria as a politician, not that she wanted to, and still, there was this unicorn talking about some kind of deal.

“I’m sorry, Blue, but I don’t know…”

The prince smiled, he knew beforehoof Wild’s response, so he hurried to answer “I get it, but that’s exactly why I think you should consider this. You’re a princess, sooner or later you will get involved in political matters, and I assure you for first-hoof experience that it’s better to start with some support instead of nothing at all”

“I guess, but as things are right now I don’t think Celestia can trust me enough to do anything regarding the management of the country” she then pointed with a hoof at the banner hanging from the ceiling, “This casino is home of Princess Wild Card. Photos cost 10 bits” read the banner, just next to the words was a drawing of the alicorn winking at everypony.

“I can hardly imagine why” murmured Blueblood with a mocking look on his eyes.

“C’mon, Prince” Wild put her hoof on Blueblood’s shoulders. “It’s been enough of this, let’s go for some drinks” Blueblood couldn’t stand being near this alicorn, but he still had work to do.

Getting away from Wild’s embrace, the prince said: “I must insist, your majesty, this is a problem that you will need to address in the near future.”

Wild gave him an angry glare, throwing her mug she said: “Ok, enough of this, what do you want?”

The prince was shocked by the words of the alicorn, however, he didn’t show it.

“I can assure you that my intentions here are purely…”

“Altruistic? Is that what you were going to say?” inquired the princess, her brow furrowed.

“No, but close enough” he admitted. “My point still stands; you need help to deal with the politicians in Equestria.”

“Wanna make a bet, pretty colt?” Wild said as a smirk appeared on her lips.

“This is exactly why you can’t be let alone to address these problems!” exclaimed the prince, a vein starting to pop on his neck. “Politics are about winning allies, not enemies as you’re doing right now”

“Okay, okay”

“They’ll eat you alive if you’re not prepared and there’s not a better pony to prepare you than me.” He was starting to loose his nerve, Blueblood didn’t know if it was just the annoying personality of Wild Card or a strategy to make him look bad. He had to calm down, he needed to gain some terrain in the conversation and convince the princess to take his advice.

“Tell you what, we’ve been talking about this nonsense for minutes now, I can’t stand being in the middle of my castle without playing for that long, so I have an offer for you” the princess looked indeed tired, so Blueblood nodded in hopes that changing the terrain would help his cause.

“I’m all ears”

“Let’s play something, whatever you want, Blue” Wild pointed at the gambling tables and slot machines with her hoof. “If you win I’ll take your lessons or whatever you want from me, but if I win you’ll have to buy me a drink” she winked, just like that. “So, what do you say, Blue?”

The prince snorted. “Do you really think I’m that stupid?!” his laugh became louder. “I see what you’re trying to do, and let me stop you now. I won’t be part of this sick game of yours”

“C’mon Blue! It’s just a game!” she said, taking a mug of beer out of nowhere and taking a sip. “Everything I’m asking for is a drink, I’m sure you can spare a few bits for a beer or two”

“You have a beer right there,” he said pointing at Wild’s hoof.

“Yeah, so?” she raised an eyebrow.

“Agh” Blueblood growled using a hoof to rub his temples. “Well then, I’ll play one of your silly games, but if I win you’ll also have to but me a drink”

“Just that?” the alicorn smiled. “I thought you’d want me to, I don’t know, turn you into an alicorn or something”.

“I would never,” He said with an offended scowl and a hoof on his chest. As they walked to the gambling tables the prince added: “Besides, I have already tried that with Celestia”.

Once the two noble ponies arrived at the tables Wild took another sip of her mug. “So, what will it be, prince Blueblood?”

“I’ll go for card games,” he said giving a brooding expression to the princess “A quick game of poker would be nice.”

Wild snorted “I wouldn’t say Poker is a quick game”.

“Well, I need to get going soon, what about blackjack?” propose the prince.

“Okay, let’s play” the prince guided the mare to an empty table with an earth pony as the dealer.

“Now, shall we?” The princess sat down with a giggle followed by the blonde unicorn prince.

The prince and the alicorn put two chips on the table. The earth pony shuffled the cards and took out two for each pony. Prince Blueblood started with advantage; his hoof consisted of a Queen of spades and a Six of Hearts, while Princess Wild Card only had a Nine of Clubs and a Three of Spades.

“Ladies first,” said the prince with gentlemen-like tone.

“If you say so” replied the princess turning to face the dealer.

“Hit,” said the alicorn. The pony took a card out of the deck; a Four of Diamonds was added to the princess’ hoof. Wild smiled at the new number, a respectable sixteen, still, it wasn’t enough.

“Double or draw?” asked the pony dealer. The princess didn’t respond right away, she turned to face the prince, with her signature smirk adorning her face she said to him “What do you think, Blue, double or draw?”

The noble pony was confused “I beg your pardon?” exclaimed the prince.

“This is the moment when you decide if you want to raise more chips or just take another card. So tell me, would you like to renegotiate our little bet?” the princess’ sly eyes sparkled with a fire Blueblood had seen many times before.

“Oh, princess Wild, I’d lied if I say I’m surprised for this change.” He shook his head. “However, I’m willing to listen before making a decision”

“Okay, think about this, what you would think of supporting my political career instead of just teaching me”

“I don’t quite understand…” said the unicorn raising an eyebrow.

“What I want to say is that if I win your family will be my, how to put it? Political support, you will give advice and bits, but you have to respect my decisions. If I ever need votes in any kind of Congress, you and your kind will always vote for me, and vice versa”

The prince was certainly not expecting any of that. This pony had proved herself to be well informed if she was asking that much from him.

“I find hard to say this but your terms sound fair” admitted the unicorn, then frowned while he added, “Where’s the catch?”

“Catch?” Wild laughed “There’s no catch, I just though you’ll be more eager to accept if there was some gain for you too”

And she was right.

“Okay, then” the prince extended a hoof towards the alicorn. Before she could touch it the noble pony added: “But if you lose you’ll be my personal secretary for a whole year.”

“And I’m supposed to be the tricky pony here?” she shook her head and the hoof of Blueblood.

“So, double or draw, princess?” the dealer asked once more. Wild smiled, her magic carrying a new chip to the table. “Double” Wild Card answered. The earth pony took another card and left it in front of Wild, an Ace of spades.

“Nice try, princess,” said Blueblood watching at the alicorn’s hoof: seventeen, just one above him.

The dealer glanced at Wild “I’ll stay, thank you” so the earth pony turned to see Blueblood. The prince didn’t even though about it, he knew he had to ask for more cards, being one point below wasn’t really nice. He knew he had to win, not just to prove this pony wrong and give her a lesson, but also because of what he had promised to Celestia herself. He pondered his possibilities, he certainly had a lot to win for this, but if there was something Blueblood hated it was losing. The alabaster prince didn’t even though when the words left his mouth.

“Hit”

The dealer took out a card and the world seemed to slow down. Wild was smiling as she usually did, the same happened with Blueblood, a smirk on his face while the card was placed on the table.

“Too many,” the dealer said flatly.

“What?!” yelled the noble pony, his eyes wide open staring at the card on his hoof, a six of diamonds.

Princess Celestia was waiting out of the Two Princesses Casino, tapping her hoof patiently. In any moment she would hear the cries of her protégé, asking for help to deal with the silver tongue of Prince Blueblood. The princess didn’t have to wait long though; a couple of minutes after her arrival a scream filled the air. And so the princess jumped to action, kicking the doors open a couple of ponies were send flying across the room. The princess galloped to the gambling hall where she knew she could find her student.

The princess did find a crying pony and her student. What puzzled her was the fact that the sad pony and her protégé weren’t the same. On a table was a whiny unicorn, well, whining about his crushing defeat while a white alicorn with rebel mane was drinking cider from a mug.

Wild Card turned when she saw her mentor, with a wink she exclaimed “Celestia! Guess what!” the princess of the sun didn’t respond, so Wild continued “Blueblood will sponsor my stay in Las Pegasus, he said he’d even order a new Castlino for me!” the smile in the alicorn’s face became wider.” Get it? Castle plus casino equals Castlino!”

Celestia remained silent for a few seconds, trying to process the scene she was witnessing.

“What just happened?” asked the princess pointing at the crying prince with her hoof.

“Looks like some ponies just can’t handle politics,” answered the younger alicorn with a shrug.