The Ramblings of Artessa Trap

My fur coat shivers. It is yellow. I do not like yellow. I like green. I want to be green. Green like the grass.

I thought you were green?

Of course. I am a green pony. I am with my friend. So many friend. Good friend. Best friend.

Who is my friend?

I am our friend. This place is my haven. The blue sky is amazingly bright. I want to taste it. It will fill me up with the taste of freedom. The flavour of self-expression. My mane and tail are blue. Ha ha ha! I have already won in that regard.

But your mane and tail was always blue, wasn't it?

Yes. Very blue. My mane is a dark blue, it curls in a swirl next to my cheeks, like draining water in a bath tub. They clean me here. They have a bath tub.

Who is they?

There is no one there. Do not think about them. They are not here.

Then who is that feeding you?

She is one of them.

Who?

Ha, ha, ha. She is one of them. I do not know her. I smile and she frowns. I frown and she smiles. But a part of her is always smiling.

Which part?

Her flank. Her cutie mark. She is the pony of smiles. Everything is happy with her. I do not like her.

But I thought you wanted happiness?

Focus! You do not want happiness. You want the green grass. The freedom. She is the grey grass. The grey cushion. Her happiness is a knock-off, it is not real. I am real. The grass is real. She is not here. I am falling.

She held you, why did she hold you?

She pretends to care. I don't like her. I want to get away. She won't leave me alone. I want to get to the green grass. The grey grass. The grey walls. Anything but here. I can not speak to her, she is trying too much to make me what I am not. My teeth are biting.

She holds you still, is she trying to help us? She is stuffing a grey spoon into our mouth. Why is she so upset?

She wants to hurt us. She wants to make us change. She wants us to be guilty. I am not guilty. I did no wrong. I want to go away. My legs won't listen to me. I hope you are listening to me.

I think I am?

You are.

She has moved us, where are we now?

We are back in the grey room. The grey room with padded walls.

Don't you mean green grass with blue sky?

Yes, the blue sky walls with padded green grass. This is our home now. The cushions are my pillows. They hold my happiness. I will keep myself occupied as I lie here. I will count each one again. One. Two. Three. Four...

Where are my arms?

Five. Six. Seven...

But where are my arms?

Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven...

Why can I not move my arms?

TWELVE, THIRTEEN, FOURTEEN, FIFTEEN...