The Ramblings of Artessa Trap

The big orange stallion rubbed his moustache curiously. "So you mean to tell me that there was an unauthorized entry inside this very asylum?" he boomed inquisitively.

"Yes, officer Han Chuff," Hotch Pot replied, "We heard somepony inside the cafeteria after hours, my co-worker was with me and heard it too."

His female co-worker, Lolly Stick, still visibly shaking, eyes wide open in shock, nodded in a jittery way next to him.

"We tried to investigate," Hotch Pot continued, pointing towards the cafeteria counter, "and we saw something big fly across the room from the kitchen counter and hit the window. I thought it was some kind of pegasus intruder, so I ran and tried to beat it down with this nite-stick, and I realized it was just a bag of rotten porridge. And then my co-worker here screamed from the stress. We couldn't find or hear anything suspicious after that."

The large officer inspected the rotten splattered mess on the window and floor, nodding while trying hard not to sniff. "I see. It appears that the suspect did a good old bait and switch to escape while you were occupied with this bag. Haha, such inexperienced security in this place. So did you actually see the criminal in question?"

Hotch Pot panicked. "Well, er, no," he replied, "but we did find an unauthorized cryptic piece of paper in the hallway which, when we went to take a bag from the staff room to collect it, it was gone!"

"And what did this, 'paper', have on it?" The officer asked, clearly intrigued by the complexity of the situation. He continued writing down on his notepad, sitting down on one of the cafeteria tables casually.

"I...err..." Hotch Pot opened his eyes, realizing he hadn't tried to memorize the paper. "I.. don't remember... Something to do with something wrong, and blue? Do you remember, Lolly?" He turned to Lolly, who was still in shock. She shook her head negatively.

The officer shrugged, continuing to question them while writing on his notebook. "To be sure, all the cells and rooms of the patients were locked? Why are you so sure that this was a break-in, and not an escaped patient?"

"Well, yes. All the patients in our ward wear asylum jackets, officer. It would prevent them heavily, as you can imagine. Pegasi's wings are also restrained, and there is a piece of secure clothing for unicorns to prevent them from casting magic. I assure you that none of these patients have the ability to use their front hooves."

"Well stated, guard," the officer noted, "that is a crucial piece of information I didn't consider. Perhaps it was an intrusion after all. Have you excluded the possibility of another member of staff?"

"Well..." Hotch Pot rubbed his chin in wonder. "I can't think of any staff pony that would mess with us like this. We'l be having a staff meeting about it though, if anything comes up from that we'll let you know. There were also no strange signs from the guards in the main hospital, too. If anypony went in or out of the asylum, they must've passed through the hospital. We've checked all the barred windows, none of them sustained any damage either."

The orange police officer rested his notebook on his strong chest. "It appears we have an extremely mysterious case to solve here, if it isn't part of your staff. Have you checked every patient to see if they are still bound to their jackets and locked rooms?"

"Yes." Lolly Stick suddenly answered, gaining some strength to overcome her shock. The officer nodded, adding a last note to his notebook.

"Well, I'll report back to the station now," the officer said in his deep voice, "You two take care, alright? I would personally suggest having extra security for the next few days. My experience tells me that many incomplete break-in attempts are actually criminals that are, let's just say, testing the the waters, before making a full scale entry or heist. This sounds like that kind of case, so keep your ears perked, ponies." He stoop up after finishing his speech, placing his notepad into his Canterlot Police Department satchel bag, leaving the two terrified staff ponies alone in the cafeteria.

"This stinks." Lolly muttered.

"No, really?" Hotch Pot sneered, looking at the dirty splatter of porridge behind him. "This also means I have to... take even more days... without rest..." He started to wobble and lose his balance, falling onto his side into the pool of rotten porridge. He would've vomited if he wasn't so dead-beat tired. He went unconscious. Lolly looked down at him sadly, trying to pull him up from the rotten mess, but found herself too weak to. She shrugged, using a spell on Hotch Pot to make him temporarily weightless, picking him up like a balloon and taking him all the way into hospital, placing him in one of the empty beds in a ward for a good long nap.

He wasn't sure, but Hotch could've sworn he felt something warm touch his cheek when he woke up on his own in the afternoon.

Thanks, Lolly, he thought to himself when he woke up later. He decided to take a shower to clean off the rotten porridge from his body.