Canterlot Five-O

by Supahsnail

Rating: everyone
Tags: Dark, Other, Original Character, Comedy, Adventure, Shining Armor, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2909

The best two guards on the force team up with the worst to take Canterlot's largest crime syndicate.

Jade runs the largest crime syndicate in Canterlot. Thanks to her, the streets are a dangerous place. Could the key two her downfall be two hotshot Royal guards and two bumbling idiots?

Published 2012-07-12 06:44:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-01 16:58:36 UTC

The Visitor

Mr. and Mrs. Hamilton sat across from each other at their dinner table. They had finished eating almost an hour ago. Now, they waited for him to come.

“Maybe he won't come,” Mrs. Hamilton said hopefully. Her name was Scarlett. She was a blue unicorn with dark blue hair and eyes. She had grown accustomed to having other ponies call her ‘pretty,’ but that hadn’t happened as much recently. Ponies no longer seemed to notice her beauty. Even her husband, Jordan, hadn’t said it in quite some time. That was understandable, considering the things they now had to deal with. “Maybe he forgot about us,” she continued, “He can’t possibly keep track of everypony who’s late on Jade’s payments, can he?”

Jordan took in a deep, nervous breath. “I suppose that’s possible,” he said, though he knew it wasn’t. Nopony had ever gotten away with skipping one of Jade’s payments. Jordan was a unicorn, just like his wife. He had a light brown coat and light grey hair. He looked much older than he actually was, and was often teased for it.

Scarlett shivered a little and said, “Do you think he’s going to hurt us? Are we going to end up like the other ponies who didn’t pay Jade?”

Jordan reached across the small table and touched Scarlett’s hoofs gently. “I’m not going to let him hurt you!” he said firmly.

Scarlett smiled. She was still scared, but she took comfort in his words.

After a few more moments of waiting, the room filled with the eery sound of a knocking on the front door. There were three well-timed knocks: knock, knock, knock.

Jordan stood up and said, “I’d better go and check the door.” Scarlett nodded and watched him walk out into the adjacent living room. Jordan cautiously put one hoof on the living room door. He turned the knob and slowly creaked the door open. The visitor stood across from him on the other side of the door.

The visitor was a short pony, perhaps a few inches shorter than Jordan, who wasn’t very tall himself. What he lacked in size, he made up for in bulk. He was muscular, almost unnaturally so, like one of the weight lifters who would spend every waking minute at the local gym. He was an earth pony, he had a dark blue coat with light green eyes. His mane was black and unkept. Jordan didn’t say a word until the visitor spoke. “You gonna let me in?” the visitor asked, “You gonna show me a little hospitality?”

Jordan hesitated, then stepped out of the visitor’s way and gestured to the living room.

The visitor walked inside and said, “It’s a nice place you got here. It really is.”

Scarlett walked into the living room after Jordan closed the front door. She gestured to the couch and asked, “Would you like to take a seat?”

The visitor smiled. “No ma’am,” he said pleasantly, “I don’t think I’ll be that long.” He turned to Jordan, who was still standing at the front door. “You two make a cute couple. You really do. And there isn’t a bone in my body that doesn’t want to see you two happy.”

“Then why can’t you leave us alone?” Jordan asked, “We don’t owe Jade anything! We never borrowed any money! We don’t owe her a cent!”

The visitor looked Joran in the eyes and said, “But you do. You see, every pony in this town needs to pay Jade once a month for protection. Canterlot is a dangerous town, Mr. Hamilton. Can I call you Jordan?”

Jordan said nothing.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” the visitor continued. “Without Jade's protection, who knows what could happen to you, Jordan! You’re two weeks late on last month’s payment. Protocol would dictate that I beat you and your girl until the money comes out, but I like you; so I think I can cut you a deal. I want last month’s payment by the end of the week, with interest, and I want this month’s payment, too. That should add up to about... two-thousand bitts, and that’s being generous.”

“What if we can’t pay?” asked Jordan.

The visitor grinned, “Then I guess you don’t need Jade’s protection any more. Who knows what could happen to you without Jade's protection. Somepony might decide to burn your whole house down.”

Jordan dropped to his knees. “Two-thousand bitts?” he repeated. “That’s over twenty silver! We don’t have that kind of money to spare!”

The visitor shook his head. “I’ve seen poorer families than your’s make their payments on time,” he said. “You’ve got a week.” He walked to the door and swung it open. “And no guards,” he added. “If I see any Royal Guards, you’re dead. Both of you.” He walked outside and kicked the door closed behind him.

Scarlett sat next to Jordan. Neither of them said anything; they didn’t need to talk. They couldn’t afford to keep paying Jade every month; but then again, they couldn’t afford not to pay her either.

A New Case

Captain Peter Trench dropped the report on his desk. It was always the same sad story. Some stupid colt wants to ‘get in on the action,’ the deal goes bad, and Canterlot is given another dead body to mourn.

This dead body was that of a seventeen-year-old, still only a foal. The report was, like all the others, very predictable. The colt wanted to deal directly with the supplier. Maybe the dealer was trying to rip him off. The colt got verbal, and things got dangerous. Maybe the dealer gave him a warning, but he killed the colt in cold blood nonetheless. The dealer was never identified.

Trench sighed deeply. He looked above the stack of papers to see a framed picture of him fishing with his father on an old boat. His mother had not lived to see the invention of the photograph. The first cameras hit the market not one year after her passing. He did, however, have many pictures of his father. His father had a white coat, a pail-blue mane and green eyes. He looked exactly like his father did. However, by now Trench’s pale-blue mane had turned grey, and his brilliant, green eyes weren’t so brilliant.

He was desk-bound, too old to fight the war on the streets. Instead, he was forced to sit for hours on end, reading depressing reports and issuing warrants. He was at the top of the chain of command, but he wanted nothing more than to go back to the bottom.

The door to his office was knocked twice, ‘Thump, thump.’

“Come in,” he said. He was happy to be distracted, but afraid that he might receive another report of another dead body.

The door slowly swung open. Shinning Armor stepped through the door and into Trench’s office. He had an envelope floating in front of him in a cloud of blue magic. “I was right!” he exclaimed as he laid the file on Trench’s desk.

Trench grunted and shifted through his drawers for his reading glasses.

“No need, I’ll tell you,” said Shinning Armor as he moved the file to the corner of the desk. Trench wanted to say something like, ‘then why did you put it on my desk?’ But he decided it wasn’t necessary and let Shinning Armor continue talking. “Do you remember that sting we did a week ago? The one where we caught six of them cooking?”

Trench slid the file to the center of his desk. “Is this going somewhere?” he asked impatiently.

Shinning hurried his story. “Well, yesterday, one of them started talking. He didn’t give it out of the good of his heart, if you know what I mean.”

“You bribed him?”

“We rewarded him. That’s not what’s important. We thought they were in some small time cartel. They were part of a whole criminal empire. Bigger than anything we’ve ever seen.”

“An empire?”

“His words, not mine. All he said about his boss is ‘they call her Jade.’ He refused to say anything else.”

“What poison do they sell?”

“That’s just it. The drugs are just a small part of it! According to him they also do: weapons smuggling, organized robbery, black market animal trade, black market slave trade, hired killings, and everything else wrong with this world...”

Trench interrupted, “I think I’ll stop you right there. Do you really suggest that we act upon the word of one detained criminal when it comes to the largest criminal organization that we’ve never heard of? This all sounds made up.”

“That’s exactly what I thought. So I had our eyes in the street look into it. They asked around and the funniest thing happened. Not once did they ever say the name Jade, but that’s the name they always came up with.”

“The name who came up with?”

“Everypony who would talk to a Royal Guard,” Shinning said as he began to list from memory, “shop clerks, bartenders, public service, but it was the beggars and poor mostly. They all seemed scared to talk about her, like she was watching.”

“You were there?”

“I did a little field work.”

“They all said the same thing?”

“Every last one of them.”

Trench sighed deeply, “I know this could be important, but we don’t have any guards to spare on this. They’re all stretched too thin, and I’m not convinced that any of this is real.”

“Doesn’t it make sense, though?” Shinning Armor persisted, “How have the dealers not been fighting over territory? The only way that could happen is if they’re on the same team!”

“I’m not saying we shouldn’t look into this, I’m saying that we can’t! We just don’t have the horsepower to...”

The doors to the station swung open, banging its handle against the adjacent wall. They had been carelessly bucked open. Trench's office was so close to the door that the noise completely drowned out his speach. They both sat in silence, waiting for some indication as to what had just happened.

“Whoohoo!” a familiar voice sang, “We got him! We got Billy the Foal!”

Shinning Armor and Trench looked at each other for a moment, then they both moved to the door. Shinning allowed Trench to open the door, and he did. In the lobby, outside Trench’s office, were two, uniformed Royal Guards and one, scruffy looking earth pony.

The earth pony was undoubtably who they claimed he was. He had a light brown coat with a dark brown mane just like the wanted posters plastered around the town. He looked out of place without his signature hat, and his mane was tangled and unkept.

The guards, who had brought him in, were the two best guards on the force, Ronald Longmane and Jackson Snow. They had taken down more of Canterlot’s most wanted than all the other guards combined, and everypony knew it.

Ronald was the biggest pegasus Trench had ever seen. He had to have his armor custom made because they simply didn’t have anything in his size. He had a light green coat and . He had a reputation for only speaking about ten words every day, letting his partner do all the talking.

His partner, Jackson, was a unicorn that looked almost opposite in comparison. He was at an average height, but he was very skinny. In fact, when he took off his armor, he almost looked unhealthy, but somehow he still had the above average strength that the Royal Guard had come to expect. He had .

“Captain!” Jackson said looking at both Trench and Shinning Armor, “This is a bit short notice but...”

Trench turned and walked to his desk. “Come in,” he said. He was immediately followed by Shinning Armor, then the two guards and their prisoner. Ronald closed the door behind him.

“So,” Shinning began, “Billy the Foal was still in Canterlot after all.” He made eye contact with the criminal. “If I were you, I wouldn’t have stayed.”

“Ah’ did leave,” he replied, “Just decided to come back. Ah’ am a creature a’ habit. Plus I like the bars. ‘Sides ah’ know y’all like it do much when ah’ visit.”

Jackson sighed, “Your accent is cute and all, but I would prefer it if you exercised your right to remain silent.”

“My right to what now?” Billy looked on Trench’s desk when a certain word on his opened report caught his eye. “Oh boy!” he exclaimed, “I figure that I know something y’all don’t! Ah’ know ‘bout Jade! Yes ah’ do!”

“Captain, can we take this idiot to the cells?” Jackson asked, “We aren’t getting anywhere here.”

Trench raised one hoof as a motion to not leave. “Hold on,” He said “He said he knows something about Jade.”

Ronald grunted in his low voice, “Jade?”

Billy snickered, “Ah’ may know a lil’ somethin’, Will it help me if ah’ tell you?”

“It won’t hurt,” Trench answered.

“Ah’ know it won’t hurt. I’m askin’ for a little somethin’ extra.”

“No, but I can charge you with withholding evidence in an investigation.”

Billy stomped the ground. “Shouldn’t a’ said nothin’!”

Trench laughed a little, that wouldn’t have hurt either.”

Billy inhaled with his snout. He tapped the ground three times and said, “Ah’ worked for her once. It was back when I was small time, ‘bout five years ago. We hit a warehouse. Ah’ don’t know what was in it, so don’t ask. We rounded up the warehouse workers and started loading the boxes. That was the only time ah’ saw her.”

Trench was naturally skeptical of anything that Billy said. He had no reason to be telling the truth. “You actually saw her?” Trench asked.

“Yes, well, it wasn’t proper like or nothing. She never said a word. She just walked in an’ looked at us while we was workin’. She was real gloomy like.”

Shinning Armor was more inclined to believe him. “What did she look like?”

Billy shook his head. “I ain’t got a clue. She was wearin’ some kind a’ mask. Can y’all believe that? She was wearin’ a mask when she was with her own hired hoofs! Ah’ think she was a unicorn, she couldn’t really hide that. Soon as ah’ saw her ah’ got out a’ there as quick as a whip! Nothin’ good comes from workin’ for somepony like that.”

Trench gave a half smile. “She intimidated you?”

Billy defended his ego, “Shut up.”

Shinning Armor pressed him for something more useful, “Do you know anything else?”

Billy hesitated for a moment and said, “She’s gonna try to kill me already, so I might as well tell y’all the rest.”

Trench finally showed interest, “You think she’ll try to kill you while you’re in custody?”

Billy laughed, “If y’all think she don’t have no contacts in prison, you must be as dumb as you look! But don’t worry ‘bout lil ol’ me, ah’ can handle myself. Now do you want to hear more?”

“Please,” Shinning answered politely.

With a smug grin, Billy continued, “Ah’m sure y’all are familiar with how she makes families pay her monthly fees to keep her from hurtin’ ‘em. Am ah’ right? Well, word on the street is that the Hamiltons are late on there payments. If they don’t pay, somethin’ might be goin’ down at there house! Nopony ever gets away with skippin’ a payment.” He sighed in a display of fake depression. “Is that worth somethin’? Will y’all help me out for helpin’ you out?”

Trench leaned over his desk. “Quite frankly, Billy,” he said, “I don’t believe a word that you just said.” He rubbed his chin and continued, “If your little story turns up a useful lead, I might consider helping you out, but that ain’t likely.”

Billy tried to wrestle his way out of Ronald’s grip, with no success. “Ah’ risked my life tellin’ y’all that!” he yelled, “I put myself in danger for nothin’!”

“That was a loaded sentence,” Trench said, “We’re done here.”

Jackson and Ronald forcefully escorted Billy out of the office as he bucked and howled violently.

“When you two are done, come back here,” Trench hollered to them, “I have a new job for you.”

Shinning Armor leaned over to Trench and said, “You know there are two others who can work on this case.”

“Don’t remind me about those two,” said Trench.

Prologue

Beautiful Canterlot: The capital city. Never before has Equestria had such a marvelous town. Do not be fooled by its promise of beauty. This city is not the wondrous place that it is made out to be. There is no collection of scum and villainy on this planet that could amount to all of the criminals we have in this ‘fair’ city. No changeling army could ever cause the damage that we have done to ourselves. The damage we are still causing. There is a war on the streets, and the Royal Guard has been losing for years. They tell us it can’t be won, they tell us that crime will always plague the streets, and maybe I believe them, but we will not give up without a fight! Canterlot was once a city were foals could play without their parents fearing for their safety. I will make it that city again or die trying.

Sincerely,

Captain P. Trench, Canterlot Royal Guard