Kash

by BasicKabyl

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character
Length: 10772

What do manticores, timberwolves, dogs and bunny rabbits have in common? Normally not much, but lately they've all been suddenly appearing out of thin air and right on top of Equestria's citizens.

There's a serious heatwave sweeping Equestria and the patience of the average pony is wearing thin. One unicorn's had been ground to dust long before the weather had even changed and is none too pleased to be called to the castle - and away from his students - to deal with the problem of some bickering mayors. The details of the matter don't do much to change his grumpy opinion, but things get decided and guards are dispatched.

This is the story of two royal guardsmen that weren't supposed to find anything.

Published 2017-06-14 04:00:11 UTC
Last updated 2017-06-21 02:35:26 UTC

1 - Manticores and Bunny Rabbits

This heat sucked. Normally the summers of Equestria were merciful to its capitol but this year the season simply wasn’t having it. The trees did not move; they did not sway nor bend as the mellow breeze so commonly felt through-out the mountain side city of Canterlot had been nowhere to be found for weeks. If not for the occasional trembling twig or shaking leaf one would be fooled into thinking the parks of the city were a work of still life art. Pretty, but frozen and not easy to enjoy under the oppressive radiating heat infesting the still air. It didn’t do many favors for the populace that the city happened to have its own lake and waterfall running almost its entire length either - just outside of the walls mind you - making things wet and sticky for everyone without the free time to take a dip.

You know what isn’t fun to wear when everything when the heavens are set to broil? Armor. Especially a set you’re required to wear for the entire day, much like the required dress of the Royal Guard posted around the city. It was interesting how quickly many of the guards had broken into their own little factions while under the oppression of Celestia’s sun. The guards out in the market square roasting in the oven that was a heavily populated area envied the ones on the walls since they occasionally felt the air move. The ones on the walls hated the ones inside the castle, what with their shade and cold stone walls and junk. And the ones in the castle? They hated their lives since they were the ones that had to listen to everyone complaining about the heat, but also because the “cold stone walls” did nothing for the sweat they had dripping from their brows. However, there were a few who found themselves hating their lives just that little bit more than the others as they’d fallen victim to a unicorn that had been walking through the castle and been very displeased by what he’d seen. A unicorn who demanded perfection from all he came across and didn’t hesitate to say so. A unicorn whom two guardsmen wondered if anyone would miss as he berated them for every little thing.

“Straighten up. No slouching pony is going to wear that uniform and get away with it on my watch.”

This unicorn was an elderly pony, one with wrinkles and a grayed yet disciplined mane kept carefully cut to set an example.

“You’re glistening. Wipe yourselves down else a dignitary will slip on the puddles you’re leaving and use the accident for leverage.”

His silvery coat was doing better than his mane but was not immune to the age he’d experienced. It was fading a bit in color, but it’s base color was still obvious enough.

“Why can’t I see myself in your armor? You call this polished? You somehow guard the castle of our illustrious leaders and expect visitors to be impressed by a smudgy breastplate? This isn’t a nightclub, kiddo, and you aren’t some shady bouncer kicking out rowdy patrons after they vomit on your hooves. Clean yourself up!”

His voice was raspy in that way only age could make it. Well, age and a lifetime of yelling at others.

“Don’t you roll your eyes! Such disrespect! From a guardsman! I should have you stripped of your responsibilities and forced to clean latrines on the frontier! Or better yet, teleport you to the bottom of the ocean with a fresh set of gills and see how that plays out!”

This unicorn’s name was Gleam. “Head Instructor Gleam” he would be quick to correct. He didn’t deal with unruly and sometimes unstable unicorn colts and fillies day to day to be referred to like any old pony. He had no authority over the guard - not anymore at least - but that hadn’t stopped him from laying into the two posted outside a set of massive and beautifully carved doors leading into one of the castle’s meeting halls. Believe it or not, it wasn’t even because of the heat that was making the guards next to him consider crimes against his property as this was just common behavior from him. A hair out of place, a horse shoe left rusty, a spear that did not stab to his exact standards, any of these examples and more were enough to incur his wrath and force one to suffer through a session of lectures and “back in my days”.

“Your mane is supposed to be trimmed in a perfect yet subtle curve, colt,” Gleam scolded, jabbing a hoof at the plume of the guard to the door’s left, “This wavy irregular crap is why no one takes you seriously anymore. How can we say this is Equestria’s elite when you look like you just rolled out of bed?

“And you!” his attention creaked towards the pony to the right, “You’re off center. Tilted! One of your shoes isn’t even with the rest. With a glance, I’d think a stiff wind could blow you over and I’m not an assassin waiting for just the right time to fall on one of the countless targets that frequent these halls. Get that fixed by tomorrow, and you better believe me when I say that I WILL come check to see if it was done. I know your face now. You can’t escape.”

If everything these guards had done to help others in their lives could be repaid with one act, they’d settle for two individual pony sized meteors landing on them right about now. One wicked away some sweat from his forehead with a quick flick of magic, Gleam opening his mouth to object in some way when the holiest of sounds rang out through the hall.

The doors opened. A shifting of heavy wood and mild woosh of moving air displaced by the weight.

The guards nearly wept with joy as a yellow earth pony stepped out.

“Head Instructor Gleam?’ she asked to which Gleam nodded impatiently, “Thank you for coming. The mayors have all arrived and are ready for you.”

“It’s about time,” Gleam grumbled, “any longer and I’d have been forced to reform the royal guard into a proper legion the sisters could be proud of.”

He shook his head and trotted forward past the doors. The guard he’d most recently criticized, now believing himself free of the unicorn and lacking in witnesses, looked to his counterpart and conjured an illusion of a rope with which he pretended to hang himself.

“… You call that a noose!?” Gleams voice rang from beyond the doors, “I wouldn’t hang my worst enemy with that!” The doors shut with a slam, almost to punctuate Gleams sheer disapproval of the guard’s existence. The guard to the left chuckled while the one on the right dropped the illusion and groaned.

“That was a conspiracy to run my name through the mud and you know it!” a mare angrily exclaimed as Gleam entered the meeting hall.

Things were already lively in here. Gleam took note of and recognized the ponies waiting for him to arrive while the yellow pony that let him in wandered off towards a corner of the room. There were six on the other side of those magnificent doors he’d passed just moments before. All were standing around a large table with plenty of space between them with the only exception Gleam could see being one fully equipped unicorn that seemed to be serving as a silent bodyguard for another. None of the rest were willing to get near any of the others for fear of them somehow smelling a secret, and their personal bubbles – as far as they were concerned – encompassed half of the country. A large and no doubt expensive rug was laid out beneath the wide circular table before them and light shone in from one of the many carefully organized windows spaced between several larger windows that held stained glass. Celestia help anyone who spilled a drink in here.

“Never once did I even visit that dust swept hole in the ground let alone sell Cautious any lewd photos of anyone! I would never bring myself so low as to partake in such frivolous and degenerate activities just to strike at you,” the mare continued, a smirk creeping across her face, “besides, I’d never drop myself so low as to make them suffer seeing such pictures in the first place. None should live with the memory of having such a horrid thing burned into their memory.”

Gleam recognized the voice before he’d even looked in the mare’s direction. Diligence, an orange Pegasus mare that was probably guilty of whatever she was being accused of. She had a reputation for digging up dirt and seeding rumors amongst the various governors, mayors and so forth across Equestria. Gleam had no patience for such things and was always annoyed when having to deal with her. She had this look about her that always made it feel like she knew something about you that you’d rather she didn’t, some creepy sensation that something private was about to be made public should she feel so inclined. Worst part was how much she enjoyed it.

“How dare you imply that my mother is not a sight to behold!” a stallion shouted back from across the table, pausing for a second before catching himself and stuttering with, “Y-y-you know what I mean!”

That was Merger, a light blue earth pony that thought shaving parts of his head would become a popular fashion trend. He was an idiot, pure and simple, and Diligence was playing him like a fiddle. Not once would he pause to think before speaking and Gleam considered him a worthy subject for someone to do a character study. He wouldn’t do it, but it would be worth having someone try to figure out how Merger managed to get to his position without being stamped out early on in his career.

“Oh, they’re going to have a field day with that one,” another pony chimed in, this time a unicorn of a dark green hue, “you sure you don’t want to try that sentence again?”

Gleam needed a second to place this one’s name. Dark green unicorn… He didn’t think he’d met him before but he’d had to deal with most of Equestria’s leaders at some point or another so he was sure he’d at least heard his name onc-

“Go to Hell, Matrix,” Merger yelled, solving the mystery, “just skip the line and tell them I sent you!”

Matrix only laughed while the fourth pony at the table - another Pegasus of a mild yellow - rubbed the bridge of her snout with a hoof.

“I could have been organizing a banquet today,” she complained, “This is not how I wanted this weekend to go…”

Vision? Gleam, thought her name had something to do with vision. Or seeing. Something like that. It was probably Vision. Either way, he was growing impatient with this nonsense as he neared the table. This constant fighting and fanning of rivalries between the mayors of the various cities and their respective territories only ever tired Gleam. It was just so very petty how they’d invent rumors and conspiracies to throw mud and argue for hours over nothing. Politics was never something Gleam thought on fondly. He’d and understood it’s importance of course, but the ones involved always came off as… well… they came off as these kinds of people.

“That’s enough!” the fifth and final pony, a sizable dark red stallion of the unicorn race, slammed his hoof into the table in a show of anger, “Diligence, stop drumming up drama! Merger, drop it! Matrix, shut up and Visionary, stop complaining!” Visionary! That’s what it was. Gleam didn’t think it suited her.

“This isn’t what we’re here for and there’s far more important matters to attend to than you two trying to screw each other over! Put it on ice and focus for Celestia’s sake!” This stallion was named Lion Heart and Gleam was rather familiar with him, though it wasn’t for reasons that Lion would appreciate. He was an example of governance that had yet to embarrass himself in some easy to avoid way. Scandals involving guard captains, embezzlement, altered documents and even rumors of smuggling had plagued all the other mayors present, but not Lion Heart. Somehow, he’d avoided the drama, and according to the higher ups he was an example to strive towards. Gleam had yet to be impressed.

“Now, maybe if we’re done seeing who can piss further and on who’s face, we can focus?” Lion Heart finished before noticing Gleam.

“Head Instructor,” Lion nodded, Gleam did not, “Thank you for coming. I understand it was short notice and I’d like to apologize for that right away before we get into things.”

“Last I checked both Luna and Celestia were both still breathing,” Gleam growled and took a seat near the table away from the rest of the ponies for fear that he’d slap one of them the next time they spoke and rack up another favor on behalf of the country, “so unless the Elements have been kidnapped or turned into gelatinous cubes I don’t see why you needed to drag me away from my duties to witness you all bicker like school aged colts and fillies. I see enough of that already.”

He noticed only now that the table had a map scrolled across it of Equestria’s western countryside. There were several points marked with flags and a few notes had been scribbled and laid out over spots that Gleam could only assume were points of someone’s interest.

“Trust me,” Lion continued, shooting Merger a brief glare to keep him from speaking out of turn, “I wouldn’t ask you to abandon your students if the situation weren’t dire. We need your help.”

Lion glanced back at the sixth pony present, a unicorn fully equipped in armor that had yet to say a word amd seemed to be serving as both bodyguard and assistant to Lion. The unicorn’s horn lit up with a glow of magic as he levitated a scroll over to Gleam.

“We seem to be under attack,” Lion claimed while Gleam rolled the scroll out in front him, “over the last few months there have been several occurrences of unusual and sudden appearances of various kinds of wildlife.”

“Animals have been showing up seemingly out of nowhere,” Diligence spoke up, Gleam listening as he scanned the contents of the scroll, frowning the further into it he got, “So far we’ve counted four separate occasions, and they’ve been increasing in severi-”

“It started in Greenswill,” the voice of Merger, cutting off Diligence in another display of short term petty self fulfilment, “some… animals materialized out of thin air. The guard looked into it but found no evidence of any criminal activity.”

“That’s your city, isn’t it?” Gleam asked without looking up from his scroll, “what was the variety. Of wildlife, I mean.”

“… It doesn’t matter-”

“Bunnies!” Diligence interrupted, pausing only to catch her breath after a fit of laughter, “his market was flooded with bunny rabbits and it was the silliest thing anyone ever-“

“Yes! They were bunny rabbits!” Merger retook control of the conversation, speaking loud enough to drown out Diligence whom had refused to stop laughing over the nature of his crisis, “Rabbits appeared at noon in the center of the market square during the height of business hours, or so the patrons had reported. None of my guards had seen it happen, but according to witnesses the rabbits just suddenly appeared out of nowhere like they had teleported into the area with no warning. Like I said, I had my guards look into it but they found nothing beyond a few traces of magic. We’d assumed it was a prank some up and coming mage had played on us for laughs and disregarded it as such.”

“Then a pack of dogs appeared in Noble’s market,” Visionary adopted the narrative, Gleam halfway through the scroll that detailed what he was being told though done so with more magical technicality and insight, “They showed up at noon during a grand opening for a new restaurant. Most were run off by the guards that were watching over the event but some managed to get a few bites in on the attending ponies before being scared off. We still get the occasional report of feral hounds harassing people after dark. I would have chalked it up as a prank similarly to how Merger had done so with his… uh… ‘bunny situation’,” another fit of laughter from Diligence, “but ours was different. When we investigated, I got reports from my guards that detailed how some of the dogs appeared to be… Inside the walls of the buildings around the market. Half of the dogs were melded into the building while the other half were, well… you know. This made us assume someone had used magic to teleport the dogs but had been off target.”

The conversation stalled long enough for Diligence to catch her breath, Gleam finishing the scroll and setting it aside and impatiently clearing his throat. Diligence paid no mind.

“Hahaha! Aha! Ah… Hah… Oh… Okay… So… After they dealt with their dumb harmless nonsense,” Diligence finally managed to form words, much to the chagrin of Merger and Visionary, “I was hit with timber wolves.”

Diligence’s voice dropped to a sudden grave tone that Gleam hadn’t expected from the previously laughing mare.

“They appeared closer to Perticity’s castle than in Greenswill and Noble, I might add, managed to do more damage than their stupid bunnies and dogs. Several ponies were mauled before my guards were able to get things under control, so maybe you two should stop friggin complain about the inconvenience of having mild woodland creatures show up to momentarily interrupt otherwise normal events!”

Merger and Visionary went on to start shouting some pointless defense that Gleam didn’t care about. He ignored the brewing argument while he went over in his head what the scroll had informed him one more time. Several occurrences of seemingly random teleportation that involved animals of increasing threat classifications. First bunnies, then dogs and timber wolves. The report mentioned manticores coming next which Gleam assumed one of the mayors present would go into detail over soon enough, but he rolled the idea around regardless in hopes of ideas coming to him before this train wreck of a briefing was through.

“Stop!” Lion again attempted to regain control of the conversation, his tone making it clear that his tolerance of these ponies and their rivalries was wearing extremely thin, “Your people are being attacked by wild animals and monsters from the Everfree, and you think this the time to argue and fight amongst ourselves? Reign it in! This is serious!” Lion took a second to let loose another sigh and shake his head at the others.

“My city was next,” He turned his attention to Gleam, shooting the others quick stabbing glances as he spoke to keep them quiet, “and I think it’s fair to say that mine was the worst. Gleam, I noticed you rolled up the scroll I gave you, so I assume you read about the manticores? They hit Corona, right in the center of my castle’s square, and they did quite a bit of damage before my Cortoza were able to put them down.”

Ah, yes, the Cortoza. Gleam almost rolled his eyes at the mention of Lion Heart’s pet project. A corps of battle mages intended to outperform and possibly replace the royal guard? He’d found the idea amusing a few decades ago when he’d had the honor of helping to found its original incarnation, but now it seemed like a rather desperate attempt to impress the royal sisters and make a name for himself. He didn’t bother hiding his distaste for Lion’s mentioning of the Cortoza as he never felt a need to and thought Lion’s defending of the resurrection of his retired corps to be sad.

“They took control of the situation,” Lion continued with emphasis placed on the Cortoza’s efforts, “after putting them down and calming the civilians they cleaned up the mess. Immediately after I set them to investigate the situation I contacted the others here and learned of their experiences.”

“what did Captain Willows find?” Gleam asked, speaking for the first time in what he felt was forever.

“Willows wasn’t consult-“

“What did Captain Willows find?” Gleam repeated, his tone demanding in his desire to know what the captain of Corona’s guard had discovered.

“Willows. Was. Not. Consulted,” Lion repeated with a blunt stop and start cadence, “My Cortoza were assigned to investigate the phenomena and found little to go on.”

“You’re toy soldiers failed to pick up on any leads then?” Gleam chuckled, directing his attention to the table in front of him as Lion huffed from his corner, “I’m shocked. Truly. What’s this all about then? This map has markers over several towns and cities that none of you mentioned. What’s their significance?”

“We’ve been trying to discern a pattern,” Visionary spoke up to explain, “There’s no concrete rhythm to the appearances that we’ve been able to decipher, but we’ve noted several possible targets that might be hit next according to the locations that have already fell victim to these attacks.”

“Attacks!?” Diligence nearly fell over, clutching at her sides as she howled with laughter, “’Attacks’ she says! Dogs and bunnies! Ahahahaha!”

“… These are the most likely targets according to our estimations,” Visionary tried to ignore the raucous cackling of Diligence, “We can’t tell for sure where it might happen next, of course, but we’re pretty confident that it will be in one of these two locations.”

“Berylsburg,” Gleam named off one of the marked locations, a sizable city some distance away. He shot Matrix a glance at the mention as he realized why the pony had been present this whole time.

“And… what is that… Weaver? Why is Weaver marked on here?”

“Weaver is going to be holding a festival within the next few days,” Matrix mentioned while scrutinizing his left hoof’s most recent manicure, “Some locally run square dance or whatever they do out in the boonies. Lion think’s that might make it a target but I don’t get why. It’s just some backwater where everyone sleeps all day, I think.”

“It’s the nap capitol of the world, actually,” Diligence tapped near Weaver’s position on the map and whispered as if letting everyone in on a secret, “They make blankets.”

“Every attack has happened either in a center of a congregation of ponies or near the cities administration,” Lion stepped in again, “and a festival falls in line with the former. However, I agree that it’s an unlikely target. Berylsburg is a much stronger candidate what with its upcoming gem exchange.”

“Yeah,” Matrix, “we get tons of tourism this time of year since a bunch of collectors show up and show off their rare gems. It does wonders for the economy, I tell you what. Those nerds love to flaunt their shiny rocks.”

Gleam looked over the map and weighed the options. He’d heard of Weaver but never been there personally. The festival coming up was unknown to him, and as such he could only assume it was more of a local event than Berylsburg’s well known gem exchange that reliably attracted thousands of ponies every year. As a “nerd” – according to Matrix at least – he found himself in agreement with the arrogant mayor. Especially when considering that, in this heatwave, most of the exchange would probably be taking place indoors to get out of the sun. More concentrated targets. More potential for damage.

There was, however, one question that had been bothering Gleam ever since he’d received that scroll from Lion Heart.

“Why haven’t you told the royal sisters?” Gleam was blunt, staring Lion in the eye as he asked this.

Lion was hesitant to answer, but Diligence started to snicker as had become common behavior for her when it came to the other mayors’ missteps.

“Well?” she asked halfway through a breath, “Why haven’t you told the princess? Please, enlighten us.”

Lion avoided eye contact with the others. He glanced back at his bodyguard, Gleam only now noticing the insignia on the guards’ armor and scoffing while Lion turned back to finally answer.

“The Cortoza can handle this,” He claimed, the other mayors either groaning or chuckling at the idea, “All they need is to be told where to go and we can stop it. One lead and this problem is solved.”

“You want me to trust your toy soldiers with what could potentially be a burgeoning crisis?” Gleam’s words cut like a knife, Lion flinching slightly while the other mayors only took pleasure in it, “Have you gone insane? This needs to be brought to Celestia or Luna immediately.”

“No!” Lion pleaded, Diligence cackling away in the background, “Gleam, I know you don’t think much of me, but I implore you, give my Cortoza this chance! I’ve already gone through the trouble to organize this meeting, Corona is far closer to both of the next potential targets than Canterlot and I have a number of prepped teams on stand-by just waiting for me to say the word-”

“Sorry, you’re going to have to repeat that,” Gleam said after loudly shushing Lion down, “You’ll have to forgive me, I’m getting up there in years so it’s getting a tad difficult to be sure, but it sounded like the words that just came out of your mouth weren’t: ‘Yes, Head Instructor, I apologize for being a selfish child that values his project over the security of my people and will alert both Celestia and Luna immediately’. Am I wrong? Someone correct me because I swear it sounded like something completely different!”

Lion was silent then straightened himself out and looked Gleam in the eye.

“I’ve done my research, Head Instructor. I know about the Cortoza. Their past, their history, what they did and what they were capable of. I also know that you’ve doubted my reincarnation of the corps since its inception. But please, just give them a chance. I have overseen their training, taken great pains to ensure that they are the best of the best, all so I can prove that their corps not only is needed but has a place in today’s military that none can deny.

“I grew up with stories of what you and your friends managed to do,” Lion continued, his gaze dropping to the floor beneath him, “My library is one of the few to still have surviving evidence of these events. Gigatrax, The Cloven March, Surmount…”

Lion sighed, the stallion sitting down where he was and focusing on the map in front of him as he ran a hoof across his forehead to wipe away a few beads of sweat.

“I know that the Cortoza are exactly what we need in this day and age. All they need is one opportunity to prove themselves. This is that opportunity, I‘m sure of it.”

There was silence.

Then Matrix spoke up.

“I say let it blow up in his face,” Diligence loved this idea and expressed it in a way that I’m sure you can assume, “I mean, his joke of a guard reformation guided by a selfish desire to be at the head is primed to become a hilarious disaster already. Why not go full throttle?”

Lion glared daggers at Matrix while Merger contributed with:

“I honestly don’t care either way. Whatever shows up will be an issue for you all to deal with anyway so I don’t really give a flying fudge what you decide. I don’t even know why I’m here. Did I mention that my city only had to deal with a sudden explosion in it’s rabbit population? Can I leave now? I don’t think I’m really relevant to this discussion.”

“Sit down!” Lion barked, bringing Merger’s butt back to the ground.

“So long as someone looks into it, I’m happy,” Visionary sounded urgently, “Just so long as maybe it happens right now? We’ve spent all this time talking but we’ve decide on almost nothing. Can we get a move on?”

The group looked in Diligence’s direction but were left with no insight as she just slapped on a smirk and shrugged.

Gleam passed his gaze between each of the ponies. He gave each a full scan before moving on, focusing on the eyes and body language before moving on to the next. Eventually he reached Lion and narrowed his own watery gray eyes. After a few seconds, he looked back down at the map scrawled out in front of him.

“… I’ll see what I can do to send a few guards over to Berylsburg,” Gleam assured the congregation after heaving a deep breath, “I can call in some favors and pull some people. They can show up under cover and keep an eye on things. If anything suspicious comes up they can send word to Corona then Canterlot and we can decide what to do from there.

“but know this, Lion,” Gleam growled, leaning over the table and appearing somehow larger than he had before, “If these wannabes that you’ve scrounged together fail to provide results, they’re finished. I will personally come to Corona and fire each pony one by one and turn their little headquarters into a bakery.”

Lion didn’t flinch, but Gleam felt he’d gotten the message.

“What of Weaver?” Visionary asked, thrusting a hoof in the town’s respective position on the map.

Gleam backed off the table and looked towards Weaver on the map. After some thought, he waved a dismissive hoof at the town.

“I know a couple of ponies that can look into Weaver...”

2 - DisMissive

2 - DisMissive

Mana Burn,

I shouldn’t have to tell you this, but if I send this off and find out it was used as a napkin again I am going to personally march down to the barracks, find Thunderclap and rearrange his organs to try and make him more productive from the inside out. Do you two think ink is cheap? Not in Canterlot! Near a dozen bits per inkwell, and don’t even get me started on fountain pens! I’ve already spent my allowance this month on caramels and denture cream – frustratingly self-defeating I’ll say – and the nurse won’t let me borrow any more bits cause I refused to eat my vegetables last night…

-

“… but I’m a big pony!” the pegasus kept going, bobbing his head from side to side with each syllable and waving his gray hoof about to emphasis some words, “She can’t tell me what to do! Why, back in my day, fillies like her knew to respect their elders. Just because she changes my diapers, she thinks she can tell me how to live my life? I’ve been around since before this country was born, so I think I know a thing or two more than some mare with a funny hat! Anyway, I accidentally threw out my back with that last exclamation point, so I need to ring my ‘help me’ bell and prep for my bath. Love and kisses! Heady Inshtructer Glib Glob.”

He finished and rolled up the scroll he was holding. He then beamed at the unicorn standing opposite him as a few guardsmen gave the pair odd looks and passed them by. The unicorn did not smile back.

“That’s not what it says,” he shot down, tone stern and voice deeper than that of the pegasus as it echoed slightly through the large hall of the castle they stood in, “Hand it over.”

The unicorn, deep blue in color and clad in a brilliantly polished suit of silver armor decorated with several flawless amethyst gems, stood with far more discipline than the bouncier pegasus. He hardly stepped forward to pursue when the winged pony hopped back and into the air to keep the note in his possession, dangling it teasingly in the air to try and get him to jump for it.

“Nope! Sorry, Mana, but Glimbo finally snapped,” he hovered over Mana Burn, lazily flapping his wings just enough to stay out of hoofs reach, “Honestly, I’m surprised it took this long. He was about due for it a few hundred years ago if you ask me. Nothing but pudding and shouting at people outside of his window now! It’s beautiful when someone finally realizes their destiny.”

Mana ignored his counterpart’s joking and shot his gaze about the hall to check and see if anyone was nearby enough to notice his next action. Seeing that it seemed to have been clear since the other guards had passed them he figured this his time to make a move. There was a shimmer of purple magic at the tips of the gray pegasus’ wings that he failed to notice in time. His attempt evade was made too late as they tugged him downwards towards the marble floor below. Losing his balance, he flailed his hooves to try and land with some dignity but tripped himself up and ended up colliding with the ground with a thud. Groaning, he slowly lifted his head from the marble.

“Ugh… why is the floor so hot in here! We’re inside! The shade is hardly helping at all!” He sat himself up and lifted the note in his hoof to his forehead to dab away some sweat, brushing aside some of his tussled dark yellow mane for better access. He didn’t succeed in wicking away the moisture as Mana quickly snatched the piece of paper in his magic. Rolling it up, he used it to smack the pegasus on the back of the head.

“I’m pretty sure that would count as using it as a napkin, Thunder,” Mana scolded, “better get ready for Gleam to rearrange your insides. If it even really said that.” He unfurled the scroll and scanned the first few lines.

“… Oh, I guess that part was actually true…”

“Are you implying that I may have been lying?” Thunder crossed his hooves and turned away, “I’m offended.”

Thunder barely got an “uh-huh” out of Mana as the unicorn read the note properly, violet eyes dancing about as it re-read and focused on lines here and there.

-

Mana Burn,

I shouldn’t have to tell you this, but if I send this off and find out it was used as a napkin again I am going to personally march down to the barracks, find Thunderclap and rearrange his organs to try and make him more productive from the inside out. Earlier today I was brought to the castle to be consulted on an issue that’s sprung up among a few locations within Equestria’s western territories and I’ve judged it necessary to assign some people to visit a few and check things out. You and your “partner” have been drafted – I’ve already spoken with your superiors – and since Thunderclap probably needs you to help him cough up a rock he’s swallowed right about now, I’ll keep this brief.

-

Mana passed a look over to Thunder whom had managed to pick himself up off the ground with a hiss and appeared intent on walking over to the fountain decorating one of the castle’s verandas that overlooked the gardens. Well. No rock yet. Mana was surprised that Thunder was braving the venture as at this hour the veranda was being hit by a few of the sun’s rays directly. Thunder was raising his wings above his head to shield himself so he must have realized this. Mana figured that- Ah, yup. Thunder was dunking his head in the fountain. Mana shifted his eyes to see if anyone was watching but found they were alone. No witnesses. Eh, whatever to keep cool he supposed.

-

Greenswill, Noble, Perticity and Corona have all been confirmed to have suffered seemingly random incidents where animals – bunny rabbits, dogs, timberwolves and manticores respectively - have been teleported directly within the city limits, often in highly populated areas where they went on to do harm to citizens and their property. The mayors of these cities have gathered here in Canterlot to collaborate on a plan and have so far deduced a possible pattern to the phenomena.

-

Bunny rabbits and manticores appearing from out of thin air? The mayors were working together? This had to be a prank. Magical attacks involving wild animals was believable, but suggesting that any more than two Equestrian mayors could cooperate in anything more complicated than a lunch was pure fantasy. Thunder had moseyed back over, dark yellow mane dripping and sticking to his face. He shook himself like a dog and Mana had only a split second to summon a bubble around him to keep the water from getting everywhere. He lifted Thunder in the bubble, puddle and all, and levitated him back out to the veranda where he released him. Thunder dropped back to the ground with a small splash and Mana ignored his accusations of attempted murder via exposure to the sun as he returned his attention to the scroll.

-

According to what they’ve pieced together so far, Berylsburg is believed to be the most likely candidate for the next occurrence. Lion Heart has volunteered to act as the lead in the investigation via overseeing the operation from Corona. A team of royal guards are being organized to enter Berylsburg undercover, watch over the city’s upcoming gem exchange and keep an eye out for suspicious activity. Reports will be sent to Corona with any major updates going to both Corona and Canterlot.

-

“Why was this sent as a message?” Mana questioned under his breath, skipping to the end to double check the signature before returning to his place, “why aren’t we being briefed properly?”

Surely the Head Instructor would understand the value in giving them a chance to ask questions? Mana already had a few and he was finding it troubling that he wasn’t being presented with an opportunity to get answers. Unless… Uh oh. Oh no.

-

So - and I cannot stress this enough - do NOT go to Berylsburg. Don’t even think about Berylsburg, don’t look in its direction. According to you two that city doesn’t exist for the foreseeable future. I don’t need you two mucking things up and getting in their way, giving away that they are there or whatever.

No, I have something else to keep you two occupied. Go to Weaver. Find it on a map and get there as soon as possible. I’m assigning you to do in Weaver what the rest of the team is doing in Berylsburg. It’s not as high of a priority, but if our predictions are accurate it is still a viable candidate for the next incident. Watch for anyone suspicious, don’t let on that you’re from the Royal Guard, sniff out any weird magic and for the love of Celestia don’t break anything while you’re there. Stay until instructed to come back.

A more detailed description of the phenomena and what to look for will be passed along to you before you leave so you can study on the way.

Head Instructor Gleam

PS: Keep Thunderclap in line. You’re his superior now, not his friend and definitely not his equal. His antics reflect on you. Do your job.

-

Yeah, there it is. Big assignment to work on? Nope! Another throw away side task that, from what Mana was reading, wasn’t important in the eyes of the ones in charge. Just add it to the list of meaningless work he and Thunder had been stuck with the last few months.

“Burning someone to death is a very cruel and unusual form of punishment, Mana,” Thunder had returned, now dry and… was that smoke? “a few drops of water in the halls, while I admit may be a slight tripping hazard, does not justify a brutal execution. Besides, just look, they’ve already sizzled away.”

“You survived,” Mana assured Thunder and fell into a trot, “long enough to pack even. Come on, we have to go gather up our things.”

“Pack!? Packing implies that we need to go places, and places are the last place I want to go right now!”

Mana paid no mind to Thunder’s protests and didn’t slow his pace. He soon turned a corner and cut Thunder’s line of sight to show that he wouldn’t argue this and after a short distance further he left the hall with the castle opening into its magnificent foyer. Banners hung from the walls showcasing various symbols and insignias of Equestrian significance and the staircase he was heading for was decorated with a beautiful red rug that painted each step and promised sure footing. Mana could see groups of ponies below on the ground floor fanning themselves with hoof and tool and there was a soft murmur that coalesced from the individual conversations they were having. He did his best to pick up any sounds of interest as he began his descent, but it was no surprise to him that most of the ponies seemed to be discussing the same unavoidable thing.

“We’ll never survive out there, Mana,” Thunder had caught up and was following Mana from above as he opted to fly rather than walk, “We’ll sizzle in the street. Bake in the roads. Broil at the pass. We’ll probably be cooked by the time we reach the castle gates!”

“It’s really not that bad, Thunder,” Mana reached the ground floor but did not stop as he took a sharp left and weaved past a pair of smartly dressed businessponies, “the reason it feels like it is because you keep spending so much time focusing on it. If you just tried to keep yourself busy doing something else, stay hydrated and stick to the shade you’d be fine. How often, without you first bringing it up, have I even mentioned the heat?”

“Mana, you could be drowning and never mention the water. You’re from another planet or something. I can’t even imagine how you let out all that pent up frustration you keep mudhole stomping into the back of your brain. There’s probably a junkyard somewhere where the owner has made you his child’s godfather cause you’ve shown up so much to break things.”

“I don’t break things in a junkyard. I listen to music and read,” Mana glanced back at Thunder in time to see him roll his aquamarine eyes, “and occasionally I toss busts out of a window, but that’s only when it’s really bad. Like after a stake out with you. I’m willing to start fires after that.”

They neared a wide-open set of doors that led out into the gardens. A unicorn was stationed nearby with a table, a bin, a basket and a trough of water. The table played host to many disposable cups, a few stacks of small towels and a large dispenser of iced water that one could guess was capable of holding near a dozen gallons at least. Guests were welcome to help themselves to a drink there, some cups left out prefilled for those on the move, and Mana could see several earth ponies dipping towels into the trough and wringing them out before dabbing their faces and discarding them into the basket. The unicorn gave directions if need be - why not if he’s stuck there all day right? – and occasionally his horn would light up around the dispenser and sound a muted crackly noise as he re-froze some of the water within.

Mana gave the unicorn a nod and picked up a couple of cups with magic as he and Thunder went by then passed one off to Thunder. Thunder graciously accepted once he was done giving the unicorn a high five and greedily sucked down the water. Heaving a satisfied sigh, he crushed his cup and tossed it into the bin while Mana decided to sip his with more control. He juggled it in his magic while bringing back the scroll he’d read earlier, unrolling it once again and reading it as he walked. Bobbing and weaving through the crowd with a grace that could only be achieved with years of studying while mobile, Mana didn’t need to watch where he was going as he avoided the others around him and made his way for the doors. As he neared he wondered if he’d been abandoned by Thunder as he did not hear the other pony’s wings beating behind him. He was near about to turn and tease him over being scared off by the sun when the sound of four hooves clopping to the ground at once twitched his left ear, Thunder again heaving his wings over his head to give himself a semblance of shade as they left the cover of the castle interior.

The gardens were doing just fine, this in stark contrast to the average foliage scattered about the rest of the city. A team of gardeners with large brimmed hats were busy at work wondering the area and spritzing water onto any thirsty looking plants they could find. Anything dead was removed immediately and soon replaced. As a result, the gardens appeared as vibrant and green as ever. Ponies toured with umbrellas and sat under the gazebos just observing the variety of plant life, the statues dotting the grass and the painstakingly trimmed hedges forming different shapes and figures.

Mana was no longer awed by the gardens, or at least he wasn’t awed during the day. He’d patrolled them far too many times to be enraptured by most of its sights at this point. It was pretty and all, but after you’ve dealt with crowds and passed that same miniature elephant cut from a bush a few hundred times it starts to lack some punch. Even if it did seem to sometimes move when you weren’t looking.

At night though? Oh. It was like stepping into another world. The nocturnal flowers opened to greet the moon and showcase their luminescence. The lights used to illuminate the grounds casted every statue into new shades of emotion seemingly too subtle to pick up on when blasted by the noon sun. Even the insects that came out to play added an otherworldly and mystical feel to the slice of life kept here on castle grounds, be it by the music of the crickets or the soft glow of fireflies drifting from here to there. Mana could explore the gardens for hours after dark sho-

He swatted at a fly as he entered the shade of one of the gardens’ gazebos. He finished his water then looked around for a place to dispose of the cup. Finding nothing, he opted to tuck it into his saddle bag and toss it later.

“Mana,” Thunder spoke up, repeating the name a few more times than continuing with, “hey, seriously, look. Check this out really quick.”

“Thunder, I’m trying to read here, and out of the two of us I’m pretty sure I’m the only one qualified to do so. Which means every time you interrupt me it’s going to take me longer to get through it and we’ll both end up nowhere.”

“Oh, ha-ha. But seriously, I’m trying to prove a point. Look,” he lifted his hoof and pointed out the fly that was buzzing around the shaded area, “I present to you: Exhibit A.”

Mana watched the fly, it lazily drifting by in half circles and random patterns. Once at an angle to Thunder’s liking, he blew the fly away with a quick puff and forced it out into direct sunlight. Hit by the rays the fly almost instantly burst into a tiny flame. It began a spiraling descent and crashed into the ground with a small explosion of fire. In mere moments, all that was left of the fly was an itty-bitty pile of ash.

“That was rather cold of you, Thunder.”

“Oh, whatever,” Thunder rolled his eyes while Mana chuckled, “that right there is why I can’t ‘just ignore it’. Is Cloudsdale still working on this or did they evaporate? It’s been, like, a month since I last heard anything from them.”

“They’ve been working overtime in the factory but some of the repairs haven’t been going as smoothly as they’d hoped. The cloudstack needed to be replaced entirely and some of the debris from where it hit still hasn’t even been cleaned up from the ground below. I was told they’d have heavy showers coming our way in about a week give or take a day if the machinery started cooperating and the parts they ordered arrived on time.”

“A week?” Thunder dramatically tossed his head back, “We’re doomed… You know, we should sue.”

“Sue who? The factory?”

“Why not? They’re clearly not keeping up on their deadlines and the rest of us are paying for it. You know what? Screw it. Just Cloudsdale in general. They’ve been slacking off if you ask me, making up excuses to not be doing their jobs, stretching out the work and what not.”

“Thunder, you can’t sue an entire city over an accident in a factory that, duh, two of your cousins work in by the way,” Mana tapped the side of his head as he reminded Thunder of something he really should have remembered before throwing out such a wild idea, “You mentioned that when it happened, remember? Not only would this go nowhere but you’d probably burn your next couple of birthday cards.”

“Meh, that’s fine. I don’t age anyway. This is eternal youth you’re looking at right here. Just give me a few hours and I’ll have a solid plan, you’ll see.”

“Okay, yeah, sure, just keep me posted on that. You should have plenty of time to think on the train.”

“Oh, I’m going to cook up something nice… Where are we going anyway? You never said.”

“What do you mean? You read the scroll before I did. You already know where we’re going. Don’t you?”

“I’m losing half my weight in water here, Mana,” Thunder wiped his brow and tossed his hoof hard enough for the sweat to flick off him and onto the ground to illustrate, “Not in the mood for your sarcasm. Tell me.”

“Well, I guess you not knowing would explain why you aren’t more excited. Have you been up the hill a way and seen the construction going on by the waterfall?”

Thunder shrugged and shook his head.

“Well, they’ve been planning to build a water park up there for a while now and only recently got the green light because of the weather making it sound like an amazing idea. But people keep showing up and bothering the construction workers with questions about how much longer it’s going to take, what kinds of slides they’re going to have and so on. Some are asking about the safety concern of it being on the side of a mountain and it’s just really slowing things down. We’re being sent as some extra security detail as a favor to- “

There was a blur and Mana felt himself lean way off his center of gravity. He performed a small tip toe dance to regain his balance and strained his magic to keep a hold of the scroll he’d been reading, his hoof not catching his helmet in time as it fell from his head and clattered to the ground. When it was over, Mana realized that Thunder was gone, the few ponies spinning in his wake and complaining clueing Mana in on where he’d shot off to. Mana picked up his helmet and gave it a quick once over before settling it back onto his head.

“That’s one way of doing it I guess.”

Mana stuffed the scroll back into his saddlebag and hummed over not finding some hidden message that would save him from what he’d been told to do. He picked up his trot once again and exited the gardens, pausing only once to apologize to a guest for having had their umbrella be turned inside out by Thunder’s flight.

Reentering the castle Mana came to the areas intended for pure practicality. Art wasn’t displayed as frequently in this section and the floor was commonly left as bare marble or covered with plain rugs not intended to invoke deep philosophical thought over what was going through its creator’s mind. The barracks were here as was the canteen and the armory. Servants quarters were around the corner, the kitchen a short way beyond that and somewhere down here there was a broom closet that Mana had learned to check first whenever Thunder up and disappeared during their patrols. Overall it was a pretty spartan wing that Mana could appreciate. No need for pretty vases here when there was real work to be done and fancy paintings would only distract the help.

He navigated the halls with a familiarity that his own hooves would be envious of. Nothing slowed him down as he made his turns and avoided the other guardsmen and servants that populated this section of the castle. Soon he came to the barracks and could tell that Thunder had long beaten him there as a few ponies were leaving with shaking heads and muttered curses. Mana offered them a small apologetic smile, customary by now, but they only rolled their eyes and walked on while Mana was left to heave a sigh and enter after his subordinate.

Several bunks down the line Mana could see a flurry of various items being juggled and tossed about. The pegasus responsible was instantly recognized and it seemed he’d already gone ahead and stripped himself of his armor and allowed it to decorate the floor around his tiny slice of the room. Mana’s mouth tilted in disdain and he nearly had to bite his tongue to stop himself from scolding Thunder then and there. Hundreds of times he’d emphasized the importance of proper armor maintenance and hundreds of times he’d gone ignored. It was a miracle if Thunder ever removed his armor without the noise of clattering metal following soon after.

Mana shifted his focus over towards his own bunk for now. His magic lit up once he was a mere few steps away and was soon at work pulling out his empty luggage bag from underneath. It unclasped and sat neatly onto his mattress as he cracked open his footlocker and pulled free some simple travelling accessories. A notebook, writing supplies, a pouch full of small gems; Mana was not much for stuffing his luggage with unnecessary clutter and was happy to only bring what he needed to stay occupied while going from place to place. Most of the space he had was reserved for his armor. It was a lighter set than that of the common guardsman, easily disassembled into pieces that could be arranged for maximum space efficiency if one had the mind and patience to do so. He removed several pieces of cloth from his footlocker as he worked to lay some padding between the plates and prevent his hours of work polishing it to near perfection to go to waste. No errant scuff was going to tarnish his armor on his watch.

After a thought, Mana separated his badge from its slot on his breastplate. He turned it over in his magic before slipping it into his saddlebag for safe keeping. Probably best to keep that within reach just in case.

The only problem here was the fact that he wouldn’t be able to bring his helmet. Well, not if he wished to keep the plume anyway… He felt almost gross as he slowly detached the admittedly decorative add on to his otherwise practical and perfectly usable headgear. Like he was committing some blasphemous act that embarrassed the Royal Guard. It’s just… Ugh, it wasn’t the same. His mane would be left free to just hang over his helmet instead of being kept neatly pulled up and out of his eyes, and a few strands would get caught in the socket for the amethyst just under his horn and… He felt like he would look a fool playing soldier or like some cheap mercenary that cared little for his own personal grooming.

“The sacrifices we must make while in her service…” Mana whispered to himself with a knowingly exaggerated dramatic gravity. He bit the bullet and carefully settled his helmet into his bag so as not to have to see it for any longer than he needed. With a quick zip, he did an about face and made ready to call out to Thunder only to snap his head back when he found Thunder directly behind him and heaving a jam-packed bag of whatever he fancied. Mana took a moment to visually scan Thunder for any floaties or snorkels but was a little disappointed to find he’d opted for a mere pair of sunglasses tucked back into his mane.

“Finally, you’re done!” Thunder exclaimed, already turning to leave, “It’s about time! I’ve been stuck over there waiting for what feels like forever when we could be halfway down seven different slides by now! I’m a pony of the sea, Mana, and I need to sate my thirst for nautical adventure somehow, so… so…”

He paused, brow furrowing as he slowly brought a hoof up to tap his chin.

“… They can’t build a water slide on the side of a mountain… and why would the Crown send guards to defend a private interest when most ponies are just taking dips in the lake as it is whenever they get a chance?”

“Thunder, I have some bad news,” Mana began, speaking as if to a colt learning an unfortunate truth about the way the world works, “you are right. There is not, in fact, a large and incredibly poorly thought out water park being built on the side of one of Equestria’s tallest mountains. I honestly was joking when I said that, but when you bought it I kind of felt bad about telling you and didn’t want to crush your newest dreams. However, the time for fairy tales are over, and we need to learn to cope with the hard facts of life and hopefully move on. First, we will be moving on to Weaver. That’s where we’re going. Good job figuring it out by the way. I’m proud of you.”

Mana smirked and set a hoof on Thunder’s shoulder for but a moment before having it swatted away. Thunder crossed his front hooves and pouted as Mana walked past and towards the disgrace Thunder had made of his armor. To Mana it may as well have been a description ripped straight out of a horror novel. Each piece was pockmarked with nicks, scratches and dents. The straps were rough, frayed and abused. Even the color was fading in some areas and Mana just could not figure out why. He’d argued with Thunder over this same tired topic so many times over the last year and it just didn’t make any sense. He knew Thunder had a hard time obeying orders lately but this level of disregard for the most basic of responsibilities was just weird. He wasn’t like this back in boot. Well, he was, kinda, but this was just lazy. Back then he’d at least tried and occasionally forgotten. Over the last couple months, though? Mana had tried to discuss it but had never managed to get anywhere. Either way they didn’t have the time to retread this territory right now and Mana was lacking in the willpower to try.

“Weaver? Never heard of it,” Thunder harrumphed.

“It doesn’t matter if you’ve heard of it. I know the way…” Mana gave the collection a final glance before noticing a sliver of gold peeking out from beneath Thunder’s bunk. His magic soon enveloped the object and dragged it out into view to reveal a discarded helmet Mana didn’t think even existed anymore. It was covered in a thick layer of dust but was otherwise in near perfect condition in stark contrast to the rest of Thunder’s equipment. This was no surprise. Thunder hated wearing these things and Mana hadn’t seen him do so for quite some time. He flicked his horn and willed his magic to remove the dust in a quick puff then turned the helmet over for a better look.

“Pack this up,” Mana ordered before suddenly tossing the helmet over to Thunder and forcing him to fumble in his attempt to catch it, “and bring this with.”

Thunder turned his nose up at the thing and dismissively flipped it over onto his bunk.

“My helmet won’t fit in my bag, Mana,” Thunder held up said bag to illustrate but would soon regret it as Mana unclasped it’s latch with his magic and sent its contents spilling onto the floor, pool noodles and goggles flopping about much to Thunder’s dismay.

“Now it will. Bring it.”

“It still won’t fit, Mana. These bags are meant for regular clothing and personal items, not heavy as Hell guard armor. Why don’t I just bring an armory while I’m at it?”

“You’re set isn’t much heavier than mine and mine fit perfectly fine after I organized it. I have some extra cloth you can use for padding your armor and keeping it from clanging together if you want, though it’s kind of a lost cause if you ask me. And, yes, your helmet can fit. Just remove the plume.”

“Nonsense, it’s much too cumbersome for this petite bag of mine.”

“Bring it, Thunder, I’m serious!”

Thunder appeared taken slightly aback by Mana’s growing frustration with how much of a chore this was becoming. He narrowed his eyes then picked the helmet up from off his bunk.

“… Why…?” he slowly asked as he began a thorough investigation of the headgear, “What did you do to it? I don’t see any dust or tiny pebbles or anything. Did you inlay a gem into the plume? Is that why you want me to take it off? If I put the helmet on, is my mane going to be turned bright pink or some junk?”

“Oh, please,” Mana replied after taking a long breath to relax, “I would never do that. Not a third time, at least.”

Thunder didn’t seem convinced. He examined every tiny crevice of that helmet before he inevitably gave up and removed its plume as Mana had done with his own.

“Fine,” Thunder gave in and dropped the helmet into his bag, “I’ll bring the stupid helmet and the stupid armor on our stupid trip to stupid Weaver.”

“Thank you,” Mana replied, ignoring Thunder’s complaints and laying on a thick patronizing syrup over his words.

“Whatever… So, Weaver, huh?” Thunder went about kicking his bits armor into his bag, no cloth needed as he obviously cared not for their condition and would care less should they clatter on the way, “How far is that even? Just down the road? It’s not a city or I’d have heard of it. Backwoods? Shanty town?”

“More backwoods than shanty town. Honestly, I think you’ll like it. From what I hear they like to throw lots of slumber parties or something. Uh… It’s a week by hoof I believe. Well, a few days for you but a week for me. The trails cut through some pretty dense brush out there so it would make for an interesting walk to say the least. Assuming we aren’t hit with delays the train should get us there in a little over a day. We’re lucky, really, that they even have a train station there. Would have hated to go the long route.”

“A whole day on a train?” Thunder whined, the last of his armor crashing into his bag, “What are supposed to do on a train for an entire day?”

“Pretty sure they have a bar on the passenger train heading out of Canterlot, and they started hiring air conditioners, so- “

“Well, in that case,” Thunder zipped up and heaved his bag over his back then flicked his sunglasses down and over his eyes, “What are we waiting for?”