Not a Crazed Gunman...

by SpencerS145

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, Crossover, Human, Main 6, Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Team Fortress, Comedy, Other
Length: 26875

The Sniper from TF2 dies, for real, and is thrust into a world of ponies. Nobody is happy about this.

The Sniper is a man of patience, skill, and professionalism. But when he is thrust into a world against his will, one filled with ponies of all things, maintaining those traits won't be all that easy.

A story about friendship, betrayal, and forgiveness... and possibly adventure later on.

Criticism is appreciated and encouraged.

Published 2017-06-18 06:40:06 UTC
Last updated 2018-10-31 00:53:36 UTC

Ya twitchy hooligan!

It was some time before noon when Twilight finally decided to bring me into town. She had spent almost an hour teaching me about all the different types of ponies and their anatomy and whatnot. I gleaned nothing useful except where to shoot for a kill.

When we strolled into town, I got a lot of very strange looks, ranging from confusion to shock. The fact that I was following a Princess didn't seem to alleviate that much, considering that those stares were the same kind that Starlight gave me when I walked into the Kitchen.

As we approached the center of Ponyville, I began to lock up a bit. Being seen by these many people at once was nerve-racking. I would have prefered to be alone, honestly, high up on a balcony somewhere, scouting out the terrain. Unfortunately, I was dragged along against my will.

"We're going to meet Pinkie Pie first. She's a party planner and thrower, as well as a baker," Twilight explained. "She lives up in Sugarcube corner. You'll know it when you see it."

And by God did I ever. There was a reasonably sized building made to look like a gingerbread house sitting in the middle of a reasonably sized clearing. It was covered with pink from head to toe, giving it a very... well, I wouldn't say warm feeling.

When we walked inside Sugarcube Corner, it lived up to its name. There were pastries under the counter in all different shapes, sizes, and colors, and bright, colorful decorations throughout. A lone mare with a blue coat and pink hair sat behind the glass counter.

"Hello, welcome to-" She froze, gazing at my figure. "-Sugarcube... Corner."

Twilight spoke up. "Hello, Mrs. Cake, I'm here with a new friend who I'd like Pinkie to meet." She gave her a comforting smile.

"U-uh... Oh, yes! Of course, I'll go get her." She looked up the staircase to her side. "Pin-" she began, as a pink pony with poofy hair slid down the railing of the staircase.

"Here!" She smiled with glee.

"Hey Pinkie! I was just stopping by so you could meet our new friend, Sniper," she said.

Pinkie stared with wide eyes. She jumped into the air, screaming with joy. "Oh. My. GOSH. A NEW PON-" She stopped suddenly. "Wait, you're not a pony! What is he, Twilight?"

"Human," Twilight swiftly replied.

How'd she know that? I never told her I was-

"A NEW HUMAN!" she continued, bursting into the air and enveloping me in a hug.

I grunted in surprise at the gesture, looking down to my waist. "Bloody hell sheila, calm down!"

She released her death grip, freeing me. "Oh I'm sorry!" she began. "I'm just so excited that there's somepony new in town! Okay, maybe not somepony, but I'm still SO EXCITED!"

A small scowl began to form on my face.

She continued her ramble. "I am gonna throw you such a big party, with balloons and streamers and a BIG cake to welcome you to Ponyville!" She gave a grin that was just a little too wide. "I gotta go get started! Oh, what kind of cake do you want, and what colors do you want at the party? Maybe it should be red because your clothes are red! Or do you want something else, like..."

The scowl grew.

"...ooh! How about sky blue! That's a good counter-color to red, so maybe you'll pop out more in the party! Or green, the opposite of red! Should the cake be the same color as the decorations? Well, maybe not, it'd blend into the scenery! We co-"

"ALRIGHT, I BLOODY GET IT! YOU'RE GONNA THROW ME A PARTY, NOW SHUT YOUR YAPPER!" I yelled. I clenched my brow and grumbled.

Twilight gasped at my outburst. She gave me a look that conveyed both shock and disappointment.

Pinkie had stopped talking and was looking at me with wide eyes. Her mane seemed to deflate a little, and her pink become a duller shade. I could see tears forming in her bright blue eyes, sparkling like crystals.

I saw her figure there, drooping in sorrow, and my scowl turned into a pure frown. I opened my mouth to speak, but couldn't force out any words.

That face.

Lip quivering, a memory began to surface.

"Charge!" The gates opened on Upward, a place as hot as hell but not really as low as it. Our team ran out of spawn as I took a shot at the enemy Sniper, dropping him to the ground. Our soldier began rocket jumping up the hill, aiming to cut off the BLU Scout coming towards us. He landed with a crack, dropping to the side of his target, and began firing. The Scout took notice, quickly maneuvering out of the way of the first rocket, double jumping as a second was fired. He flew to the right, taking a shot at the Soldier. As he landed, a rocket caught him in the feet, sending him upwards as a shotgun blast sent him careening into the wall, dead.

Our Demoman approached him and fired pipes as a Heavy rounded the corner. The Soldier, reloading, was caught off guard and was quickly mowed down by the approaching Heavy. Suffering casualties from the pipes, he began his retreat, when a sticky bomb landed below him, blowing him to giblets.

On the opposite side of the field, our Scout had jumped from the rooftop, ambushing a Demoman and his Medic. The Medic quickly activated his Ubercharge, nullifying the Scout's assault, as our Heavy came rounding the corner out of spawn. He retreated backward, realizing his mistake, and was nearly blown to bits by the Demo's assault. Meanwhile, the Scout, waiting out the Uber, was hiding behind the opposite corner.

Our Pyro came rushing out to meet the Uber, airblasting them back. The Demo took advantage of the airblast timing and fired a single pipe bomb into the Pyro as he was pushed back again. Our Medic took the stage and began healing the Pyro, only for the mumbling man to be blown apart by another pipe. Separated from his pocket, the Medic ran back, firing his syringe gun as our Heavy again rounded the corner. The Demoman's Ubercharge ran out, prompting our Scout to make his move. The Demoman switched to his sticky launcher, firing at the Heavy, while our Scout ran behind the Medic, blasting him with bullets. He switched to his pistol as the Medic pulled out his Ubersaw, chipping at his health until the Medic slouched over and died.

The Medic down, he switched his attention to the Demo when a shot flew through his head. He turned to see a lone Spy firing his revolver at him, and quickly intercepted. Two shots to the chest later, the Spy was dead, and he turned his attention back to the Demoman.

The Demo had gotten lucky and landed a critical sticky, exploding the Medic in the process. Our Heavy worked to mow him down and I provided a supporting shot, narrowly missing as the Demoman inadvertently dodged my bullet. He died a second later, riddled with bullets, and our team began to advance.

Our Spy was already working out a plan to sap the enemy's Sentry setup as our Soldier respawned and took to the cart. He flew down from the building above the Engineer, sapping his gadgets, only for a pyro to set him ablaze. He pulled out his flare gun, ready to end the poor spy, when I pulled the trigger, landing a cool 150 on his head. Damaged from the shot, the Spy pulled a revolver and finished the job. The Engineer removed the sapper from his sentry as our Heavy began firing, killing the heavy in one shift motion. Our Demoman fired a few pipes into the structure, taking it down and killing the Engineer in the process.

I deviated from the path of the cart, moving over to the point where our Scout had been hiding to get a clear shot on whatever poor soul on BLU spawned next. I scoped in, waiting for a target. It was then that I heard a sound not unlike coughing, and quickly flipped around to meet it. I saw the BLU Spy, sitting with his back against the wall, clutching his wounds. I unscoped, eyeing him.

A dead ringer lay next to him, apparently used during the battle, and he was bleeding profusely. His revolver in his hand, he looked up at me, and cringed nervously. I gave him a confused look before putting away my rifle. I walked over to him, standing above his body, and crouched to meet him.

"Hehehe... Take a butcher's at this." I smirked wickedly. "Looks like we've got a lone spook."

"Just get it over with, you filthy bushman," he said weakly.

The smirk left my face. "Whatever you say." I drew my kukri, ready to strike. I wound up my arm, and swung down...

As I swung, the world seemed to almost stop, halting at that peculiar moment. I looked at the Spy, sitting on the ground, his eyes clenched in fear as tears ran down his mask. His face, laden with sadness, had a frown that could bring a man to tears, and he slumped in agony, awaiting his inevitable demise.

...but I stopped. Right before my knife connected with his forehead, I stopped. It took me a second to register what I had just done. He looked up at me.

The tears that stained his mask seemed to fade away as a look of confusion took the place of his frown. I drew back the kukri, sheathing it, and fell to my haunches.

We stared for a while, looking at each other as we both pondered what had just transpired. I had spared the BLU Spy. He was confused, and so was I, both for the same and for different reasons, and we just sat there, thinking about them.

"Why?" he asked.

I clenched my head in frustration. "I-I don't know. I just... stopped."

We went silent for a moment contemplating our words.

"Why do we kill, Sniper?" he said.

I looked up at him, unsure of what to say.

"Is it truly all zat necessary? To die over and over, living a life of war?" he pondered aloud.

"Maybe." I looked to the battle in the distance. "Maybe not."

"I don't want it be necessary. I hate zis. I am tired of it all," he expressed. "Zere is no rest, Sniper. No rest from this endless war." He gave a serious, but regretful look. "Every day I must work endlessly, only to fail again."

His figure sank, filled with tears. I stared, and my heart, one that I thought cold, sank with him.

The flashback stopped. I had remembered enough.

I sank to my knees, tears in my eyes, and looked to Pinkie. I grabbed her into a hug, as tight as I could, and spoke two words.

"I'm sorry."

Author's Note

Well that was certainly a change in tone. Hopefully, the leap wasn't too jarring. I assure you though, there's a reason for why everything is happening the way that it is.

I should be clear that this flashback is only one part of why Sniper reacted the way he did. I've been keeping many details hidden up until this point, and this chapter is the first one that starts to hint at them.

Start putting it together, folks!

Considering adding Drama as a tag.
Update: After reviewing the Tag Information section on the site, I have decided that yes, this deserves the Drama tag, because the story will have a lot of focus on Sniper's internal conflicts, as well as one conflict that I have yet to fully reveal.

Aww, that's apples mate.

Twilight just kept staring at me after we left Sugarcube Corner. Whatever she had expected me to do, it wasn't that. Strangely enough, she didn't question my actions, but I doubt she knew why.

We approached the outskirts of Ponyville in silence. A single trail led outwards into a massive orchard of trees. Following the trail, a large, red barn came into view at the top of a hill, accompanied by farm equipment of all shapes and sizes. What looked like a large house sat next to it, and there were apples strewn about the ground nearby.

A large, red stallion and a smaller orange mare came into view as we hit the top of the hill. They turned around as we made our approach, smiling at us, quickly followed by a frown of confusion.

"Hey, Twalight!" She paused, looking at me. "...who's this?"

"This is Sniper, he'll be staying with me for a while," she explained. "He's from another world, apparently."

Hold up, how'd she know that? That's twice now! I dismissed the thought. "G'day." I tipped my hat.

A grin crossed her face. "Well, howdy! I'm Applejack, and this here's Big Macintosh..." she pointed to the large red stallion next to her. "And yer in Sweet Apple Acres!" She gestured all around her in a circular motion, showing off the large, green orchard with dots of red sprinkled through it.

"Eeyup," said Big Macintosh. Not much of a talker, 'ey?

"Since this here's yer first time in Sweet Apple Acres, it'd be a might rude 'a me to not let you try an apple yourself." She picked up an apple from the ground, hand- I mean hoofing it to me.

I held the apple in my hand and stared at it. Something just didn't add up. Or perhaps, something just didn't feel right about this whole place. But I brushed it aside, feeling eyes on me. "'ppreciate it." I took a bite.

My eyebrows perked as I tasted the apple. The flavor was pretty phenomenal. I couldn't really describe it. A smile cracked across my face as I chewed, savoring the flavor, when I felt a different feeling entirely. I panicked, the smile dissapearing from my face, and I quickly composed myself. I'm a professional. Standards, not feelings. That outburst from before was just one of those standards; be polite. I was being a real wanker back there, and I had to correct myself.

"That's pretty good!" I responded.

"Glad you like it, pardner."

I turned over to Twilight, only to be met with a curious gaze. She seemed to be studying me. She looked a little confused, but not surprised. Just contemplative about something. When she noticed that I was looking back at her, she quickly went back to looking at Applejack.

She started saying something when another voice quickly spoke up.

"Applejack, Applejack!" said a higher-pitched voice.

We all turned to the source of the sound to find 2 small fillies galloping at full speed. One was a pale yellow with red hair and a nice little bow, and the other was white with pink and purple hair. They both had looks of shock and terror.

"Applebloom?" Applejack yelled, moving quickly to her side. "What's wrong?" she said, concern clear in her voice.

"T-T-TIMERWOLVES! THEY GOT SCOOTALOO!" she screamed.

"WHAT!?" Applejack yelled, startled.

"They came out of the trees and we couldn't do anything! They've got scoots locked down in the clubhouse!"

Applejack immediately turned to Twilight, shocked and definitely looking scared. "Twilight, get us to the clubhouse!" She grabbed her, panicked.

Twilight paused briefly, closing her eyes. Her horn began to glow, and so did we. I could see sparks of purple energy flying from her horn, a glowing aura of light around us all, and an arcane energy flowing through me that I knew so well from Halloween each year. I backed up slightly, concerned.

Then, suddenly, a flash, and I fell backward. I took in my surroundings, finding that we were in an entirely different place. Trees surrounded us on multiple sides, and we were in a clearing. Blimey! Teleportin' magic!

We all came to our senses as I looked around. "There!" Applejack shouted, pointing a hoof. I flipped around to see her and looked to where she was pointing at. A small building sat above the ground with a staircase leading up to it. A few... things were standing around it. They were wooden, but also completely animate, and looked like wolves or dogs of some kind. Somebody was screaming inside the building, calling for help.

Then, suddenly, one of the creatures turned around, noticing us, followed quickly by all but one of the wolves as they were alerted of the new threat by one another. They prowled towards us, making a slow, meticulous approach. We all took a defensive position, ready to face the oncoming threat.

I scowled at the approaching wolves. They didn't seem dettered. Suddenly, a faint aura enveloped the approaching wolves, taking them by surprise as they yelped in fear. They began lifting into the air, slowly but consistently, and surely enough, I turned around to find Twilight working her magic, literally. She began to put more strength into it, lifting the wolves over 2 feet into the air... and dropped. The aura stopped suddenly, and she collapsed to the ground, groaning.

"Twilight!" Applejack said, rushing to her side.

She looked up. "Teleport...too far...used up my magic...agh!" She gripped her horn in pain.

Applejack, Big Macintosh and I looked back to the wolves, who, now freely on the ground, resumed their approach with renewed enthusiasm. Their expressions turned fearful, and Big Macintosh began to back away. They were mere moments away from us, practically licking their lips in anticipation. As they got closer, only a few yards away, the others trembled in fear. And then, suddenly, one of them pounced.

But it didn't connect with its target. Instead, a knife connected with it, stabbing it through the head. The peices stopped momentarily, the kukri stabbed into its skull, as the life drained from its body, and the wood fell to the ground with clanks. I grasped the skull in my hand, pulling it off the knife, and threw it to the ground. I looked up again, teeth gritted, and scowled at the wolves. They paused, seeming stunned. Their facial expressions returned angrily, and they approached again, slower this time. One directly ahead and another slightly to the left, the one ahead coming slightly before, they jumped at me.

"YAAAAAGH!"

The middle wolf came barrelling in, and I dodged to the left, sending both wolves past me. The middle wolf, landing closer, turned to me as I jumped for it, sinking my kukri into its skull. The other wolf quickly turned around, and seeing my kukri stuck, lunged again as I forgot my melee and jumped out of the way. I whipped out my SMG as it landed behind me, and flipped around. I fired into it, killing the wolf, as another jumped from the opposite of where I was aiming. I clutched the SMG in my teeth, rolling out of the way as another jumped at me from the direction of my knife. At the end of the roll, I grabbed it from the dead wolf's skull and flipped in it my hand, and, grasping it with both, swung down as the wolf got into range. I released one hand and grabbed the SMG, firing at the wolf behind me.

The onslaught stopped, and I prepared myself. I took a defensive position, angrily glaring at the 3 remaining wolves. Their faces were crossed with fear as they began to back up, evaluating the risks associated with their situation. Deciding it not worth their time, they backed up and ran out into the trees beyond.

"That's right, piss off you bloody pikers!" I yelled.

As I holstered my gun and sheathed my machete, I looked back to the clubhouse. There's still one more to go.

I reached for my back, grasping the needed equipment. Rifle in hand, I took aim. The wolf sat at the clubhouse entrance, guarding it fiercely. Through the scope, I could see a small figure in the windows of the clubhouse. I paused for a second, then, moving to the head of the wolf, I steadied myself and fired.

The bullet pierced the skull of the creature, dropping it to the ground, and a crack echoed through the farmland as I lowered my rifle.

"Mongrel."

Strapping it to my back, I turned around, being greeted with looks of shock and utter terror, before beginning my walk to the small building. Big Macintosh simply stood there, and the others sat with Twilight, so I went alone. I crossed the small distance to the structure, taking in the serene, quiet atmosphere as a gentle breeze drifted by. I walked up the ramps and observed the trees around me, filled to the brim with apples as bees buzzed around. I found myself lost in the atmosphere of the farm, taking in the beauty of the natural ebb and flow of the world. It was mesmerizing.

I stopped for a second, and opened the door to the small enclosure. Inside, an orange and purple pony was huddled on the ground, whimpering. She looked up to me as I entered, tears staining her bloodshot eyes as I stopped my approach. I looked down at her figure with a frown, and she stared back at me. A picture of a memory flashed before me, something else replacing her.

We sat there for a second, staring into the distance as my team pushed through the REDs. The Spy looked over the cliff, as I looked to my team. They shot through the sentry defending the point ahead and began their cap as the engineer moved up. He was shot by our Spy, and fell face first into the hill.

Then I looked to the cliff, where the Spy did. Off into the distance, where nothing much seemed to happen. There was nothing but silence there, with only the sounds of the desert to stimulate our hearing. It was peaceful.

"Mate..." I finally said, breaking the silence. "I...I miss the Outback. I miss the peace and quiet, and the sounds of nature. I miss sittin' out there for bloody days waitin' for my kill, comforted by the sounds 'a silence."

He looked to me, seemingly hopeful.

"Mate, I can't do that anymore. It's not the same as it used ta be," I said. "And bloody hell do I miss it..." I frowned slightly.

Gazing at me, he smiled, and it said a thousand words.

I sat next to him against the wall, and we enjoyed the ever-growing silence as my team pushed up.

The picture snapped away, and I was left with the same image I had before: a filly sat on the floor, looking up at me. I smiled, and she got the message as hoofsteps rang behind me.

I turned around to see the two fillies from before, who quickly rushed past me. They stopped short of the other filly.

"Scootaloo!" The white one said. "Are you okay?" she exclaimed, concern on her face.

"Y...yeah," she said weakly. "I'm alright... just shaken up. But I'll be fine..." She looked back to me and smiled. "...thanks to you."

I smiled, filled with pride. "All in a day's work."

Author's Note

Sorry about the wait guys! Hopefully, this chapter was worth it, though!

There will be some major developments coming up in the following chapters, so stay tuned!

Professionals have standards.

The orchard was still deadly silent, a testament to the utter shock that the scene I put on managed to manifest in the ponies. Applejack and Big Macintosh had finally started to approach the clubhouse, along with Twilight, who had finally found the strength to get back up.

After Scootaloo came out of the clubhouse, everyone seemed to calm down. We all regrouped and agreed to head back to the house on foot. It was a mostly silent trip, everyone seemingly lost in thought, until Applejack spoke up.

"Sugarcube..." she started, looking at me. "...ahm real sorry for acting the way I did. I shoulda helped fend off the wolves." Her eyes darted around a bit as a frown crossed her face.

"Ahm sorry too, Sniper," said Big Macintosh. "Applejack and I were just too afraid of the wolves to help, and we shoulda been braver," he continued. "Though it may have been foolhardy to try n' help, we still shoulda done somethin'." Seems a little wise. What a juxstaposition.

"And..." Twilight started. "I tried to take care of the timberwolves, but I couldn't do it, and put you all in danger. I'm so sorry everypony. I let you all down..." she said, head hung low in shame.

Applejack looked back, a sympathetic frown forming on her face. She went to Twilight's side, comforting her. "Twahlight, ya'll didn't disappoint nopony," she explained. "Everypony makes mistakes. We all do."

Her head perked up. "But I put you all in danger!" she argued. "Somepony could've been seriously hurt!"

"Look, it's alright," I interrupted. "I'm a professional. I'm trained to do that sort of thing," I said, a hint of annoyance in my voice. "If I put myself in any danger, it wasn't a very extreme danger."

Applejack and Big Macintosh shifted uncomfortably. Twilight looked away from me, concern and fear in her eyes. None of the fillies had anything to say, and were probably still processing the event.

When we reached the farmhouse, the 3 fillies took one last look at me, all smiling, and went inside. The others and I stayed outside, and once the door was shut, Applejack spoke up.

"Look, Sniper, I really appreciate what you did for us back there," she expressed. "It was mighty brave of you tah stand up to the timberwolves by yourself to save us all. I'm really grateful."

"Eeyup," Big Macintosh added.

She took off her hat, placing it on her front. "...And I don't think I could really ever make it up tah you," she finished.

I smiled, filled with pride. "It's nothin' mate. I would never let anything bad happen to..."

Why did I do it?

I tripped on my words, stuttering as my smile faded. A fake smile took its place. "t-to anypony."

She gave me a strange look for just a moment before putting her hat back on and smiling again. "That's mighty noble a you
Sniper."

Big Macintosh opened the door to the house and began walking inside, followed by Applejack, who stopped, turning to close the door.

"Take care ya'll!" she said, closing the door.

Twilight gave me a sad smile. I smiled back, and looked away, staring into the distance with a frown.

Why did I put myself in danger to save that filly?

"Come on, let's head back to the castle," she said. "I think we've had enough excitement for one day."

"You and me both, sheila," I replied. "You and me both..."

The trip was almost completely silent, both of us lost in thought.

We got back to the castle, and entered the main room. I started heading towards one of the staircases, but she motioned me towards the dining area. Now that she mentions it... I am quite hungry. It's probably lunchtime, then.

As we entered the room, Starlight and Spike were already at the table, Starlight with a salad and Spike with some strange concoction of gems and salad.

Starlight looked up from her food, noticing us. "Oh, hey Twilight, hey Sniper!" she greeted. "How's your day gone so far?"

Twilight rubbed the back of her neck and looked to the side as we sat down. "It's been pretty... eventful, I would say." She seemingly forced a smile. "But otherwise, it's been fine!"

"That's good," she responded. "Think you could fill us in?" she asked, eagerly.

"Yeah, we've been cooped up all day long doing work and stuff, I think it'd be nice," Spike added.

"Uhhh..." she said, eyes darting around a bit. "N-no, not really- I mean, I'd rather not talk about it is all..."

"Uh, okay," she responded, clearly confused by Twilight's response.

Spike raised an eyebrow before digging back into his food.

After lunch was over, we all retreated to our respective rooms. It wasn't hard to find mine, and once I had reached it, I immediately went to my bed. I sat down, sinking into the mattress.

I'm a professional. I have standards, not feelings. Feelings are a hindrance, a nuisance that gets in the way of every bloody thing I do. I don't have them, and I don't need them. But I could've run, or helped us all escape, but I fought instead, putting my own life on the line, just to save a pony that I didn't even know. So why did I do it?

I sat there, a man of two minds, conflicted by the opposing parts of my own psyche. Everything that I knew, everything that I had ever believed in was being challenged by my very own choices. I tried to silence it, to keep it inside, but it was relentless, a never-ending storm of confusion and contradiction.

I thought back to Twilight, what she had done for me, and what she was doing now.

She took me in without question, giving me a place to stay and food to eat. She started showing me to her friends today and getting me familiar with pony society. She was amiable and friendly, talking to not just ponies, but me as well. But on the walk home...she was so distant. She seemed sad, afraid, and conflicted about something.

I got up from the bed, staring straight ahead, and walked to face the mirror. The face of a confused, troubled man reflected off of it.

What was she so conflicted about?

Suddenly, the door to the room creaked open as Twilight stepped in.

"Hey, Sniper? Could I talk to you for a bit?" she asked.

She has the same expression as before. It's sad and afraid.

I stared for a second. "Yeah. Sure," I said.

She fully entered the room, closing the door on the way in, and stood near me as I sat back down on the bed.

She let out an anxious sigh. "Have I told you about the Princesses yet?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Princesses?"

She went into a decently lengthy explanation about all the princesses and their roles. She mentioned Canterlot, a massive city embedded onto the side of a mountain, and the Crystal Empire, an expansive crystalline city in the Frozen North.

I sat there for a second, hand on my chin, processing the information. I'm not even gonna question the sun and moon raising part. "Alright," I said. "So why tell me at this specific moment?" I questioned.

She avoided eye contact with me as a frown crossed her face. "Princess Celestia wants to see you personally in Canterlot."

See me? How does she even know about me? "Twilight, how does she know about me?" I questioned, suspicious.

"I've... kiiinda been sending letters to her about you," she said, very anxiously.

I looked at her, a small scowl forming on my face. "Seriously?"

"Spike can send and receive letters to and from Celestia using his fire breath...So I've been talking with her about you."

I sat there for a moment, considering what she had said. She's been sending letters about me to the reigning deity of the entire bloody country... My expression hardened, and Twilight backed away slightly. Isn't it for the best, though? I'm some mysterious creature suddenly fallen into her kingdom... She'd want to know if I was a threat. Honestly, I'd do the same thing. My expression softened. "You know what? It's fine. I get it. It's for safety reasons."

Twilight frowned. "Look Sniper... I'm sorry about going behind your back like this. It's just protocol."

"Going behind my back..." The phrase reminded me of something, and I clenched my fist in rage. "Spy..." I whispered.

"S-Spy?" she said, clearly nervous.

I sighed. "Some mongrel that I thought was my friend... But in the end, he betrayed me..." I looked over to her, a scowl forming on my face.

"Sniper..." she started, concern in her voice. "W-why would a friend betray you like th-"

"BECAUSE HE WAS NEVER MY FRIEND!" I screamed in rage, slamming my fist on the nightstand. "That backstabbing two-faced fraud was just pretending! It was all an act, and once he had the chance, he KILLED ME for his own advantage!" I said, tears welling up in my eyes. I'm crying.

I stopped myself, holding back the tears. Be strong. No crying. That's for fools. And I guess foals.

Twilight was taken aback. A deep, pitiful frown on her face, eyes wide in shock. She looked like she was on the verge of tears. She came over to me, and hugged my waist.

"I'm so sorry Sniper," she said. "That's horrible."

My breathing became more laborious, as emotions began to violently surface. And with them, memories.

Thunder Mountain, the stormy, overcast place that BLU thought they could push a cart through and were failing. Sitting at the top of a balcony, I was scoped in at their spawn, which had been thoroughly camped by my other teammates. I could wait, though, and so I sat there, shot charged, patiently awaiting a target.

Thunder cracked as the sound of cloaking appeared from behind me, taking me by surprise. I unscoped, unsheathing my kukri in anticipation of an attack and flipped around to see the BLU Spy standing casually there, smoking a cigarette.

"Bonjour, mi amigo," he greeted.

My eyebrows perked up at this. "Mate, what are you doing back 'ere? Yer team needs yer help!" I said.

He raised an eyebrow at this. "I don't think zat matters much, Sniper. We'll lose anyway," he rationalized. "I came to take a break from all ze noise up there at our spawn." He turned to me, and smirked slightly. "...and vhat better way to spend it than with somevone who appreciates ze peace and quiet as well, hm?"

He's right... Y'know, maybe I should follow his lead.

"Yeah..." I said, sheathing my kukri. "It's not like I'm helpin' much anyways." I looked out, taking note of how nobody even made it out of spawn.

I sat down, scooting forward to dangle my legs over the edge of the drop, and the Spy followed my example. We sat there, enjoying the peace.

All the good times.

Sawmill, a lumber milling station with deadly spinning saws around the middle point, killing any who were unfortunate enough to trip or misstep into one. The fight had been fair, but biased towards our team as usual. I took the flank route by the river, trying to get behind enemy lines for a clean and easy shot on a few people. As I made my way across the lake, however, I came across the BLU Spy, who sat on one of the rocks in the small side tunnel. He noticed me, and I slowed down as I reached the end of the log, and stopped. I looked both ways and decided to change direction.

"So I see you've decided to join me again?" the Spy said.

"It's less of that, and more of me needing to talk to you about something," I explained.

He raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"Yeah... look, I think we both know that our teams are not a big fan of friendship," I started. "We've already been caught a few times, and by the looks of it, they're about ready to chop both our heads off for it."

He frowned slightly.

"So look, what I'm saying is that we've got to keep up appearances," I continued. "We've got to start fighting each other to make it seem like we're enemies again."

The Spy looked away and sighed, flicking his cigarette. "I understand," he said, a frown crossing his face. "I knew zis would happen one day. And I prepared myself to face it." He looked over to me. "But no matter how much I ready myself, it'll never be fair."

"Nothing's ever fair, mate. Nothin'."

All the bad times.

"Peekaboo!" he said, firing his revolver into my spine.

"AAGGH!" I fell to the floor, paralyzed in pain. The spy stepped over me, shutting the door.

I thought I could trust you. "HELP M- GAH!" He shot me through the arm, cutting me off.

"Sorry to pop in unannounced, but I think you'll find this quite pertinent." His expression was serious and scornful.

I thought we were friends. I looked up at him with teary eyes, unable to say anything.

"I've been making a few plans concerning your operations recently." He lit a cigarette, sucking in ashy air. "Your colleagues locked me out of BLU base today, so I had no choice but to put them into action."

Why would you betray me? I glared at him. Hard.

"Oh, and don't worry about your team going under... I've got a replacement for you!" He smirked maliciously.

Why did I think you were any different? I gasped, understanding what he meant. You're a spy. A backstabbing traitor.

"No worries, mate! HAHAHAHAHA!" he mocked. Midway through his bout of laughter, he was engulfed by a cloud of smoke, and his laugh changed to match my own.

The last thing I remember was the image of my own body standing over me, laughing to himself. And then a gunshot. And then blackness.

It was all part of his plan.

I returned her embrace, and let a few tears through.

But I've found a real friend now.

Author's Note

CHOO CHOO! All aboard the feels train!

Wow, this chapter was a doozy. Slightly bigger than the others, too. The big reveal about Sniper's experiences with the Spy, coupled with the replaying of the memory of Sniper's death, this time with his thoughts, really puts into perspective why Sniper was acting the way he did.

Another big reveal is coming next chapter.

And believe me when I say this, :yay:'s about to get deep, really, really fast. Everything comes full circle.

Interlude: Letters, Notes, and Messages

The Night of Sniper's Arrival...

Twilight closed the door to the room, locking it as Spike entered with her.

Spike turned at the sound of the lock clicking. "Why'd you lock the door?"

"Our guest is better off not seeing what I write about him," she explained. She sat down at her desk.

"Um... Alright." Spike didn't question her motives.

Twilight got comfortable in her chair, pulling out some parchment and a quill. She collected her thoughts and began.

Dear Princess Celestia,

I write to you with utmost urgency to inform you of the appearance of a strange creature. He is a tall, bipedal creature dressed in red and brown clothing, speaks perfect Equish, and addresses himself as 'Sniper.' I have given him a room in the castle as per your instructions on if new, intelligent life is discovered.

What concerns me about this creature is how he addresses himself as 'Sniper,' and carries a few strange, metal objects and a large knife at all times. I do not know what this means, but I fear that he may become a threat. However, he seems talkative enough and responds reasonably to social situations.

He claims to have died and found himself falling from the sky, landing in the bushes next to my castle. I harbor skepticism to his claims, but perhaps there is an explanation.

Please respond with any information that you might have.

Twilight

She sent the letter to Celestia and waited for a response. A few minutes later, Spike burped up a letter.

Dear Twilight,

This matter may be more serious that you at first thought.

The contents of this letter are not confidential, but I advise you to not expose any of the more sensitive information contained in this letter.

'Sniper' is a human, a race of sentient bipedal apes. They come from another dimension entirely and are far more technologically advanced than anything pony society has ever seen.

They experience similar emotions to us and are bound by a similar social structure. Their society also parallels ours in many cultural ways, from the architectural styles of certain cities to the way we value art and music.

Sniper is not supposed to be in this dimension. He was most likely transported here by a magical phenomenon.

I cannot expose any more information without your full consent. You must promise not to divulge any information in the following letter.

Celestia

She quickly wrote back, sending off the letter.

I promise.

It took a full 10 minutes for a reply to be made.

Dear Twilight,

I trust you will remember that the contents of this letter are confidential and are not to be exposed to the public. They are for your eyes only.

We have had contact with humans before. We found one outside of the castle a few years ago. He managed to evade us using a device that could turn him invisible at will and another that could create the illusion that he was somepony else.

We eventually captured him and took him in for questioning. He told us his name, 'Spy.' It was not his real name, but he did not wish to disclose it to us. He told us of his predicament, how he had died and found himself here, and said that he was attacked by the guards on arrival. He went into hiding, planning to infiltrate the castle and gather intelligence before attempting to make his first move, but was caught in the nearby library when a stallion barrelled head first into his invisible body.

He told us of a war between two sides, RED and BLU, eternally locked in combat, with devices to resurrect them upon death. His role was to infiltrate the enemy lines and pick off key targets with his knife. The two sides were exact replicas of one another.

We sensed a magical aura around him, one that was consistent with the basic pattern found in displacement spells, a field you spent a lot of time studying yourself.

We had asked him about his exposure to magic, but told us that the human world was almost devoid of it. However, in his world, magic could be harnessed by an express few people. Every Halloween (the human equivalent of Nightmare Night, which also falls on a similar date), his battlefield would be corrupted by magic, and on multiple occasions, the wizard Merasmus showed up, conjuring up horrifying monsters, ranging from flying eyeballs that shoot rockets to a skeleton that chops people's heads off.

During this time, they could also cast their own spells, harnessing magic through spellbooks. Their exposure to Merasmus's magic, as well as to the various spells during Halloween each year, seemed to be the best explanation for the appearance of the magical field around him.

We managed to send him home by developing a spell that could sever his body from the magic surrounding him, but he seemed reluctant, and actually quite sad to leave. In the end, though, he left without resistance.

Attached is a picture of 'Spy.'

She stopped reading the letter and flipped it over. A photograph was taped to the opposite side of the parchment.

The attached picture was of a man with similar proportions to Sniper. He wore a blue mask that covered all but his eyes and mouth, a fedora on his head with a band containing a few playing cards, and a suit, complete with a tie and dress pants. Everything he wore was colored blue, except for 4 things: A black and white... thing, a yellow watch, a small, flat container, not unlike a makeup kit; and a strange looking... knife. In the photo, he casually smoked a cigarette, holding up the kit.

She picked up the letter and continued reading.

Twilight, that human, Spy, was a killer. He was cunning and villainous, and if he had not been caught, he may have killed to get the upper hand. He was not welcome in Equestria. The man you just met, Sniper, might also be a professional killer, Twilight, so I expect you to remain alert.

From what we know of the human world, they can be chaotic and violent, and also malicious at times. His behavior, if your description of him so far is accurate, seems to be better than that, and I advise you to continue to form an impression of his personality.

I am counting on you to discover if Sniper is a mercenary. Be cautious, but be brave. He may be a threat.

Celestia

Twilight carefully placed the letter back onto her desk. The window in the room, still open, gave an opportunity for a cold, gentle breeze to waft in. A shiver ran down her spine as she studied Celestia's words, cold as the wind that blew in from her open window. The curtains open, they drifted gently in the oncoming air, warping and twisting as the night's wind seemed to howl at her very being.

Celestia had never been that blunt about anything.

She was frozen by the sounds of Luna's night, peaceful, but ominous nonetheless. As she thought about it, she let her mind relax. The wind had not howled at her, and the night was not her enemy. The other side of every coin is always different from the front, but nonetheless, it is still the same coin. She spent a second to really take it all in.

The night, opposite of the day, was feared for the darkness it spawned in its wake. But the night was simply the other side of the same coin; day was its opposite. They were both in tandem, a balance that made whole the cycle of time.

Celestia had two sides, just as she and everyone else did. But she would never see the other side until she decided to flip the coin.

Twilight composed her response.

Dear Celestia,

I understand your concern and will do my best to follow through with my responsibilities.

But I don't understand why Spy was so reluctant to leave. Did he have any regrets about his own world, or did you never really know?

I think that it may be important to understanding not just his motivations, but also humans in general.

Twilight

She woke Spike, who was gently napping in the corner instead of full on sleeping. She sent the letter to Celestia and received another response a few minutes later.

Dear Twilight,

I can tell you why he was so reluctant to leave, but know that it is not a happy story.

She stopped for a second to consider her warning before pressing on.

His world is not like our own, Twilight. He lives in a world that is divided by the differences between their cultures and races, and disagreements can easily evolve into full-on wars. They are all human, but they sometimes refuse to work as one.

Spy was hired as a mercenary, and has fought for many, many years without much rest. During this time, he has become numb to death, killing, agony... everything, as he says. It is a coping mechanism.

But he told us that his stay in Equestria had reminded him of the things he had forgotten in war. Love, kindness, friendship... all things that he had lost to time. This is why he was reluctant to leave. Our world had these things, while his did not.

Luna and I still remember the last words that he said before leaving. "I do not wish to return to my own dimension, but I must, for I do not belong here. Au Revoir."

Spy did not want to leave, Twilight, but he knew that it was inevitable, and so he did.

Celestia

Twilight stared at the paper, processing what Celestia had said, before pushing it aside and grabbing her own.

Dear Celestia,

I've made up my mind. Tomorrow, I will begin introducing Sniper to my friends. This way, I can judge his character and introduce him to society.

Twilight

She sent off her last letter for the night, and tucked herself into bed, but as she began drifting off to sleep, she heard another burp.

Spike came over to her with one last letter, this one more of a note.

Dear Twilight,

Good luck. I have complete faith in you.

Celestia

She smiled with pride, placing the note to side, and finally fell asleep.

Late Afternoon, the Day after Sniper's Arrival...

Twilight walked wearily into her room, steps somewhat slow and sluggish. A frown on her face, eyes looking down at the floor, the dread was almost palpable in the room.

She stopped in front of her desk, sighing, before finally sitting down to get to work. She grabbed some parchment, some ink, and a quill, and composed the letter. She received a response only a few minutes later.

Dear Twilight,

Sniper is to be brought to Canterlot as soon as possible. Bring nopony else but you and him.

Celestia

Twilight stared at the paper for the longest time, contemplating her options. Finally, she rolled up the paper and sighed. Turning to the stairs, her head drooped in shame, she went to go break the news to Sniper.

I'm sorry. I never wanted this to happen.

Author's Note

Big reveal much? :pinkiegasp:

This chapter was formatted like the small cutaway from Sniper's perspective in the first chapter of the story. Instead of being in the first person, it's in 'pseudo-third.' 'Pseudo' because there are a few thoughts in italics.

Next chapter, we're going back to Sniper's point of view.

The unicorn queen can't ignore me now.

The train whistle blew loudly as we sat in the station. It had only been an hour since our chat, but the train had already arrived and was about to start collecting passengers. We quickly boarded as the conductor opened the doors to usher people in. We got a lot of very odd looks, but for the most part, they left me alone. Might've had something to do with the Princess who I was following, but what would I know.

Relatively few people actually got on the train to Canterlot, which was surprising, considering that the city was usually overwhelmed with tourism. However, that day was just different for some reason.

The conductor shut the doors as Twilight and I took for an empty car and sat down in the small, definitely not-for-human seats. For a minute, we sat there in silence, glancing over at one another every once in a while. The train began to crawl, and we finally started moving towards Canterlot.

After a minute or so, Twilight spoke up.

"Sniper..." she started. "What did Spy look like?" she asked.

I turned over to her, raising an eyebrow at that. "Blue suit, a tie, a mask, and a fedora," I flatly replied. "Why'd you need to know?" I questioned, fist balling up a bit at the thought of the Spy.

"Well... I think it's long overdue that you heard about this," she began. "During the first night of your visit, I had sent a letter to Princess Celestia about you. We talked back and forth a little as she provided information to me." She paused, letting out an anxious sigh. "In the first letter... she mentioned that someone, a human, had fallen down from the sky a few years back," she said.

I connected the dots and my eyes opened wide. "N-no..." I backed up a bit in my seat.

"That man... it was the man who betrayed you, wasn't it?" she said, frowning with concern.

I gripped my head as the memories all made sense.

"Why do we kill, Sniper?" he said.

I looked up at him, unsure of what to say.

"Is it truly all zat necessary? To die over and over, living a life of war?" he pondered aloud.

"Maybe." I looked to the battle in the distance. "Maybe not."

"I don't want it be necessary. I hate zis. I am tired of it all," he expressed. "Zere is no rest, Sniper. No rest from this endless war." He gave a serious, but regretful look. "Every day I must work endlessly, only to fail again."

"Oh my god..." I said.

"I know it must be shocking for you," she said. "...But it had to be said."

I sat there, head down as I leaned forward. I spent a second to recollect myself before looking up at Twilight. "During his stay... what'd he do?"

"Sniper... I don't know that you need to know any more about this," she said, concerned. "You should be moving on-"

"Twilight," I interrupted. "Just tell me."

She sighed. "Alright... After he arrived, the Princesses had to track him down. He had cloaked away after the royal guardsmen tried to apprehend him, but the Princesses got their hooves on him. He told them all about your world, about the war you fought in daily, and about his own role. They made a spell to send him back, but Celestia says he was really... reluctant to leave. They didn't really know why at first, but Celestia figured it out." She paused. "He didn't want to go back to his own world. He said that the peace here had brought out another side of himself that he had lost in the endless battle. In the end though, he went back, because he knew that he didn't belong here."

I looked at her and sighed angrily, frowning in the process. "I think I can continue the story, Twilight. After he came back to his team, he was a changed man. I found him on the battlefield, cryin', but for some reason, I spared him, and we became good friends. We were supposed to fight, so our teams didn't like the friendship between us, but we didn't let it drive us apart." I sighed, looking down and closing my eyes. "We enjoyed the peace and quiet of the areas outside of battle, takin' in the sounds of nature. But it didn't last."

The rest of the trip was silent. We both had a lot on our minds. For example, there was this one question that kept nagging at me throughout the rest of the ride.

Maybe our friendship was real, and if it was... then why'd he kill me?

When we arrived in Canterlot, 3 royal guardsmen were stationed outside the train for us. They escorted us through the busy streets of the beautiful city to the large castle at its edges.

There were two more guards stationed at the door, and they and our escorts quickly conveyed some information.

"Is this the creature?" the door guard asked.

"Yes," replied one of our escorts. "We're taking he and Princess Twilight straight to the throne room to perform the spell."

"Alright."

They opened the massive doors to the castle and we embarked for the throne room. Twilight began to shift uncomfortably as we reached it, another set of doors opening ominously.

The throne room was quite massive, almost a hallway instead of a room. Stained glass windows lined the walls, detailing ponies performing various actions. In a few of them, Twilight Sparkle was shown doing something, presumably defeating various monsters, along with Pinkie Pie and Applejack, and even Spike in a few of those.

At the end of the room sat 2 thrones, one held higher and one held lower. As we approached them, 2 ponies came clearly into view, one white with flowing, pink, green, blue and purple hair, and the other navy with ethereal, sparkling dark blue hair that looked like the night sky.

It was obvious that these two were the Princesses Celestia and Luna.

When we finally got close enough, the guards bowed, and I followed their example, taking off my hat and placing it on my chest as I bowed with them. We all stood up as the guards and Twilight backed away slightly from the throne, leaving me the center of attention.

Celestia looked straight at me with a flat, unreadable face, likely the product of many years of practice. "Sniper, I presume?"

I tipped my hat. "G'day, your majesty."

Her unreadable face shifted into something akin to affirmation... or perhaps a small tinge of respect. She took her time to examine me for a second, noticing my weaponry, and nodded to her sister.

"I understand that you are a mercenary, Sniper?" she said, frowning slightly.

"Yes, your majesty. In my own world, that was my job."

She and Luna traded looks briefly. "We can send you back to your own world, Sniper," she said.

I wasn't at all surprised. "I know." I frowned, picking up on her hint.

"It's time, Sniper. Time for you to go back," Luna said.

Something began bubbling up inside of me. "Why?" I said.

"Hm?" she said, puzzled.

"Why do I have to go back?" I asked, almost pleadingly.

Celestia frowned. "Sniper, I'll put this gently," she began. "You are a mercenary, and I cannot allow that in Equestria."

The bubbling began to increase. "Was a mercenary, Celestia, only in my own world."

She seemed offended, but her expression didn't show it. "I still cannot allow a killer to reside in Equestria, Sniper. That is why you must return to your own world."

The bubbling turned into a furious boil. "You think I would hurt your little ponies!?" I yelled, furious out of almost nowhere.

The guards approached me with their spears ready as a reminder.

"Do you think I would have become friends with Twilight if I wanted to kill? Do you think I would have saved Scootaloo from the timberwolves if I didn't care?" I yelled, accusingly, pointing at her in an aggressive stance as if to point out the unjust treatment.

Her expression sank slightly, seemingly pitying me. "Sniper, I understand your concern... but you do not belong here."

"I think he does."

Twilight came to the middle of the room, standing next to me.

Celestia seemed very concerned by this.

"I know Sniper. He has a good heart, Princess Celestia, even if it might not show all the time." She looked to me, and then back to Celestia with a smile. "I wouldn't have guessed he was a mercenary if he didn't tell me so, and I know that he would never do anything to hurt anypony in Equestria."

They looked at one another for a moment, silence filling the room. Celestia looked ready to say something, but I interrupted before they could begin.

"Celestia's right," I said, looking straight, expression flat.

"W-what?" Twilight reacted, looking over to me with concern.

"I don't belong here," I elaborated. "This isn't my world, Twilight. No matter how much I do to fit in, it still won't be right." I turned to Twilight. "I have to leave."

"Sniper... no..." she said, trying to convince me otherwise, but I had made up my mind.

I turned to the Princesses. "Cast the spell."

And so they did. The horns of both Luna and Celestia glowed with the power of the sun and moon, and arcane symbols on the floor, previously invisible but still drawn there, began to appear. A circle surrounded by these symbols had been drawn on the ground, and as the symbols glowed, I could feel a pull on myself. The glyphs grew brighter and brighter red, until suddenly, the Princesses stopped casting the spell.

"Please step into the circle, Sniper."

"Alright." I turned over to Twilight one last time. "Goodbye," I said.

She stopped, unsure of what to do, and hugged me. I returned the embrace. "Goodbye..."

After only a second, we released, and I made my way to the circle. Standing inside it, I could feel the pull greater than ever before. It felt like it was about to rip something out of me, but gently, like surgical removal.

The Princesses lit their horns once more, and the tugging increased as a light began to envelop me. Twilight sat a ways away, frowning as she watched the spell unfold. I felt the tug increase, about to yank something out of my body...

And the spell stopped. An audible shattering filled the room, breaking the glyphs on the ground as they turned yellow, and then disappeared like dust in the wind. The light was gone, and I still stood in the throne room with Twilight, the Princesses, and three guards.

Celestia was dumbfounded, Luna was shocked, and Twilight was simply concerned.

"Celestia, what happened?!" she asked, rushing to my side as I looked back to Celestia.

"The spell... broke. Something's wrong."

It was then that I heard something incredibly familiar.

"AAHHH! AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

Author's Note

What's this? Another twist? Yeah, you heard right.

This chapter was harder to write for some reason. I think it was the complexity of the situation and the shifting tone of the passage that made it hard.

Also, sorry to have to shut down Twilight there when she was trying to make a point, but I think that in the end, Sniper knows he needs to go back, and simply can't deny it.

Next chapter, we have another interlude before we get back into the main story.

Interlude: Not our finest moment.

Author's Note

EXTRA LONG CHAPTER :pinkiegasp:

This is a new record in terms of writing for me. Over 4.5k words! I think I managed to pull it off because of just how much stuff I could do with this chapter. There was just so much that I could write about that I... just kinda kept writing and writing until it was done.

Also, sorry for the longer than average wait. Got caught up in something.

And one more thing before I wrap this up, the times don't match up between Equestria and the TF2 world. Time moves more quickly in Equestria.

Next chapter, it's back into the main story, and good god do we have a lot to cover.

Interlude: Not our finest moment.

The Spy stared down at his kill. The RED Sniper lay dead on the ground, but this time, it was for good. Blood spattered on his clothing and a bullet through his skull, he would go sniping no more.

Staring at the Sniper's body, he began to wonder if it was really the right move. How would he get away with replacing the Sniper? He spent a full minute just standing there, scheming. His trance soon faded, however, as a voice boomed from somewhere outside the van.

"Aw jeez... how'd he even manage to get that from me?" said a tired voice in an unmistakable Boston accent.

He mouthed the word 'merde.'

He quickly considered his options. The Scout would probably force the door open if he didn't answer and would notice the body. If he did answer, the Scout wouldn't come into the room. He noticed that the open door would block most line of sight to the body, but would still be noticeable behind the open door. However, the Sniper had only been shot in places above his torso, meaning that the blood stains would be fully concealed behind the door. If he hid the Sniper's body, he could get away without a hitch.

"Yo, Sniper?" said the voice, knocking at the door.

He acted quickly, grabbing the Sniper. He noticed a door on the other side of the room, and dragged the body over to it. Flinging the door open, he recognized it as a sort of storage space. He placed the body gently into the room and closed the door.

"Sniper, I know you're in there." he said, knocking again.

The Spy began to panic, quickly forming his disguise as he rushed for the door, flinging it open, and then subsequently trying to mask the fact that he had just flung it open.

"Y...Yeah?" he said. Smooth.

"Uhh... R-right, I, uh, kinda overheard that you had my Soda Popper in your storage room." He pointed to the door that the Spy had just stuffed Sniper's body into. "Not sure how it got there. Can I go and get it real quick?"

He froze up. Now was the time to show off his spying expertise. "Naw mate, I'll get it," he said, mimicking the Sniper's accent.

"'Aight," Scout responded.

Good. He's playing along.

He went into the backroom, being careful to close the door on his way in as he searched for the Soda Popper. It took him a minute, but he finally located it half-buried under a small rag. He picked it up and started walking when the door began to open.

"Yo, you all good in there?" Scout said, opening the door.

Spy grunted in surprise and quickly pretended to trip over something as he landed on the body, covering it up in the process.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He held up the gun. "Here it is. Now let me sleep."

"Oh, thanks pally." He snatched the gun from Spy's hands, quickly checking it for any dents or scratches. "'Night," he said, turning to exit the room. He opened the gun up on his way out, inspecting the ammunition, and the door shut.

Spy groaned in frustration, dropping his disguise as he stood up. He looked down at his suit, then to Sniper's corpse, then again to the suit.

"You got blood on my suit."

He snorted in amusement at his own quip and began to consider his options moving forward.

Alright, disposing of the body can wait until later. For now, I need to lay low. I can probably disappear later on... sometime tomorrow sounds good.

He exited the room, careful to re-don his disguise, and considered his cleanup options.

I could use that small rag and a bit of water to rub out the blood for now. I just need to make it to tomorrow morning without incident, and as long as I wipe away the blood, I should be just fine.

He grabbed the rag that had been daintily tossed over the Soda Popper in the back room and wet it with what he assumed was water.

It's a bit dark in here. I should have checked to make sure this wasn't piss or anything.

He smelled to confirm. Yes, definitely water. Thank God.

Crouching down, he wiped away the blood from the multiple gunshots, making sure to dump the water afterward so as not to attract suspicion to the bloody water.

Spy decided that he would settle himself into bed afterward. It would be the simplest solution to his predicament, after all. Once he woke up in the morning, he could simply sulk away to his base or be killed, knowing that the BLU respawner would be turned on again in the morning.

It was then that he again heard footsteps, this time running instead of walking, followed by a quick rap on the door.

"Yo, Sniper, sorry 'bout this, but Solly's called us for a meetin' down in the break room. Gotta discuss tactics for pushin' the BLUs out of the Dustbowl. See you there."

Oh, great... No, I'll pull through. Just act like Sniper, this shouldn't take too long.

"Urgh... Great. Alright, I'll be a few, though," he replied.

"Cool. You were the first to know anyway, so yah got a little time to spare." Spy heard footsteps once again as Scout ran off to inform the others.

This had better blow over quickly. I'm liable to get caught while around the whole team like that.

"Alright men, now is the time to talk tactics!" said Soldier, slamming his hand on the large coffee table fit for 9. All 9 classes were present, all without anything special except for the Pyro, who was playing with a lighter. A large map of the first stage of Dustbowl lay in front of them. He pointed to it with ferocity, landing a finger directly on its center. "We've finally pushed back those pansy BLUs to the start of the Dustbowl! We cannot let this opportunity slip! We've got to drive them out at the first point! Maybe then, they'll finally be out of here, and so will we!" He lifted his hand, gazing around the room. "So, who's got an idea?"

Heavy raised his hand. "Heavy will stay with Medic in big house with first point. Enemy would be unwise to infiltrate first point with Sasha guarding."

"Ja, zis is reasonable," Medic followed up.

Engineer spoke up. "I can set up a sentry on the flank to stop the BLUs from using it..." He pointed to Scout. "...and let this one use it freely. I think that'd do us a lot of favors."

"You better bet I'm gonna do you all a favor," he narcissistically said. He paused for a moment to reconsider. "Sentry'll help too."

"I will prevent ze Medic from using his Ubercharge," the RED Spy said.

"And I suppose I'll be stuck killin' the other Sniper," Sniper (actually a Spy) added.

"And getting killed by ze other Spy," the RED Spy jabbed, smirking.

"Not my fault he's so good at his job, unlike someone here," he retorted, slipping in a hidden self-compliment.

Spy growled at this, a scowl forming on his face.

"Ooh boy, here we go again," Scout said, rolling his eyes.

Pyro chuckled at this, shaking his head.

"Right lads, knock it the bloody hell off already. We've got shite to do," Demoman interrupted.

Spy responded by lighting a cigarette and drawing in a breath. Sniper didn't really respond much at all.

Hah! I never thought I was that good at imitating Sniper!

Soldier looked at Demo and back to Spy and Sniper with a scowl. "Look you butter muffins, they're going to stomp us unless he-" He pointed to Demoman. "-and I get prepped too! You can sit around all day playing your little game of back-and-forth when we're done prepping for WAR!"

Heavy put a hand to his chin in response. "Hmm..." He grit his teeth slightly, thinking carefully.

It took him about 10 more seconds before pointing to Pyro. "Pyro. You check for Spy that may kill Sniper or Doctor. Engineer will be farther from Pyro, but can handle self against Spy anyway."

Pyro looked up from his lighter for a second before giving a thumbs up. "Uh-huh."

He looked to Scout. "Little Scout will try to kill enemy Demoman and Sniper. These are targets that are easiest for little baby man." He hardened his expression. "And do not approach enemy Soldier. Is dangerous for you."

Scout looked quite peeved at this. "Dangerous?" He stood up defensively. "Yo, buddy, you do know who you're talkin' to, right?"

Heavy launched a glare at him. "Tiny man will not try to kill Soldier."

Scout backed up at this, sitting back down. "Okay fine. Whatever." He crossed his arms, looking away with a nervous frown.

He smirked. "Heh. Good."

He looked over to Soldier and Demo. "Explosives classes, hold off men at gate. Demoman will place sticky trap, run if they Uber out of front door, Uber will almost be out before they reach house. Soldier can outline plan in more detail, but basic strategy for start of round should hold."

Spy had to hold back his smirk. When I get back to the base, I could use this information to cripple the RED team's strategy! It's perfect!

"Sound good, да (da)?" he said.

Everyone but Soldier seemed to affirm this in one way or another.

Soldier looked at him. "Hmm..." He rubbed his chin, looking skeptical. "I think... that's great!" He smirked with confidence. "That should do the trick! One more time, men!"

He pointed out the positions of each class on the battlefield, reminding everyone of their specific roles while also pointing out plans in case of a break in the strategy.

"Now Heavy, if the enemy Spy gets past our Pyro and backstabs your Medic, I need you to inform us!" He moved slightly closer to Demo, making it clear the 'us' was he and Demo. "We'll need to back out of the front and help defend the house with you immediately! Is that understood?"

"да, is known now," he responded, minorly annoyed.

He looked to Medic. "And Medic, if Heavy gets backstabbed instead, tell us! We'll substitute for pockets!"

"Ja, vhatever you need," he said, bored.

He took a deep breath. "Alright! That just about covers that!" He looked around the table. "Tomorrow, we put this plan into action! Be ready, and wake early! DISMISSED!"

Everyone got up from their seats and began to walk to the exit. Spy got up before the others, making a beeline for the door. As he reached it though, he turned around.

"Seeya, mates!" he said, waving.

Finally, I'm free! It should be easy from here on out...

But as he turned around, he took a step back. The RED Spy stood in front of the door, blocking his way.

"Uh... Spy?" he said.

"Oh, what?" A smirk crossed his face. "Did you need to get past, misure?" He slowly slipped a revolver from his pocket, letting it sit at his side. He grabbed the cigarette he was smoking and flicked it away, as the expression on his face turned dead serious. "Well I'm afraid I can't do zat."

Spy took a step back. Cold sweat dripped down his forehead as the RED Spy stared at him. He turned his head frantically before settling on the other Spy and taking another step back. All eyes were on him as the RED Spy lifted his revolver to head level and spun the chamber.

Oh god.

He pointed and fired a shot into his shoulder, sending Spy plummeting to the ground.

The other mercs stood there in shock, unsure of what to say as the RED Spy approached him. He put a foot on his chest and stared into his eyes.

"You are an amateur and a fool!" he insulted, pointing the revolver to the other Spy's face.

The disguise dropped, revealing a BLU Spy on the floor with a gunshot in his right shoulder. The RED team was completely baffled, paralyzed by the turn of events. Pyro even dropped his lighter from the shock, even if it wasn't visible on his masked face.

The RED Spy looked around the room, observing the other mercs as they stood in silence. He looked back down to his captive, smirking at his astuteness. "So, you thought you could pose as Sniper, and collect intelligence on our plans? Well, think again!" He gestured to the other mercs. "Your disguise may have fooled zese imbeciles, but an astute observer could have picked up on a few different inconsistences."

Spy lay on the ground in contemplation. I must escape... but how?

He lowered his free arm and crouched to the ground, still aiming at the BLU Spy. "First of all, Sniper does not go to zese meetings in any sort of neutral mood! While ze others may have simply found it strange, I know ze weaknesses commonly seen in disguises, and zat happens to be one of zem."

I can't escape through force. He's got a gun to my head.

He continued. "Secondly, he does not only focus ze other Sniper. His job is much more complicated zan that, which you apparently have failed to grasp..."

I can't move easily, so I'd have to get him out of the way, but the others are watching, so I can't just do it.

"Third..." Smoke ran over him as he transformed into the RED Scout. "...there is no way zat Scout could show up for his Soda Popper and come back only a few minutes later to tell you about ze meeting." He dropped the disguise. "He may be fast, but not zat fast... and in case you didn't figure it out already, I was ze Scout who wanted ze Soda Popper."

Cloaking wouldn't work, since he's got contact with me...

His serious expression turned into a smirk. "...and most of all, did you think I wouldn't pick up on zat subtle self-compliment?" He stared at me to emphasize his point. "Really now, you flatter yourself."

Okay, I think I'm just screwed. I'll just ride it out. "Yes, thank you. Now please, let's just get zis over with," I said dismissively.

His expression turned serious again. "Hmpf. As you wish." He stood up and turned to Heavy. "Heavy, could you carry him to ze warehouse?" He looked around him. "And everyone else, let us follow him, yes?"

Heavy growled at Spy, picking him up from underneath the RED Spy's feet. He set out, and the others began to follow. The RED Spy pulled out a cigarette and turned to Scout.

"Scout, could you go and fetch ze real Sniper for us?" he asked, smirking and lighting his cigarette.

Scout thought about this for a second. "Uh- Yeah, yeah. I'll go get 'em." He dashed off without a second thought.

"Good," he said, drawing in a puff of ash. He looked over to Spy. "I think Sniper's going to have a few choice words with you." He chuckled to himself.

Wait... He thought about it for a moment... and was struck with a terrible realization. They don't know...

"What will you do to me?" he asked, trying to sound fearful.

The RED Spy raised an eyebrow before smirking with cruelty. "Oh? You want to know what method of torture we're going to impart upon you?"

Spy simply stared back.

His expression turned mildly annoyed. "Hmpf. Fine." He sucked in a breath of ashy air. "My plan is to have to tied down to a chair and interrogated. I'm interested to find out who put you up to zis, if anyone, and we're going to get it out of you one way or another." He looked away, into the distance. "As for your, well, punishment, we're not really quite enthusiastic to anger ze announcer, or even ze BLUs. So, I've elected to simply have you... well, 'sit out' on zis next fight, as it were." He looked back to Spy. "So don't worry too much, you little devil. Just tell us what we want to know and you'll be in better shape in a day or two."

Spy was paralyzed with fear. If they find out... I'll go back. And if I go back... Sniper will find me. He'll kill me for what I did to him.

He let it sink in for a minute; just how boned he was. When Scout got back, he would tell the team that Sniper was dead, and they would kill him for his actions...

I need to get out of here.

He began to scheme. If he could get the Heavy to let go of him, he could escape the RED's grasp. If he then cloaked, he could escape them with his Cloak and Dagger, staying out of sight indefinitely. But the Pyro would obviously flame him if he tried to escape, and the entire team would probably be in on the search the second he got out of sight. However, if he got a head start, he could outrun the Pyro. Unfortunately, he also had no control over how far apart Heavy would stray in front of the rest of the REDs, so he couldn't get a head start. Unless...

He studied the formation of the pack of mercenaries. Heavy at the front, followed by Spy and Medic, then Demoman, then Engineer, and finally Soldier and Pyro. Since Heavy was at the front, he could exploit their unorganized formation to make a clean getaway. If he stunned Heavy, then Spy, Medic and Engineer could not easily search him out if he cloaked and ran. Since the classes that were effective at that job were at the back, he could just keep moving to stay hidden. But it still had some problems. Spy and Medic could both still shoot him while he was cloaking, and might kill him using it, so he would need to buy himself a little time beforehand.

He looked up from his scheming to observe his surroundings for a proper distraction. In the distance, he could see the warehouse where they would interrogate him. They were walking on a path parallel to its side, so there was only one more corner to turn before they would be set on a straight shot for the facility. He tried to look forward, but found it difficult since he was slung over Heavy's shoulder. Trying to look up ahead again, he managed to catch a glimpse of a turn in the distance, and an idea hatched in his head.

Suddenly, the grip on him tightened slightly. He looked up to see Heavy's head turning towards him. "Is little baby trying to escape?" He chuckled softly to himself. "Go ahead and try, coward. You would be wise not to struggle against giant man like me." He turned forward again.

"Hahaha..." the RED Spy chuckled. "He's right, you know. It would be in your best interests not to struggle." He leaned in closer for emphasis. "I assume you won't want him any angrier when ze interrogation starts, yes?" He blew a cloud of smoke into Spy's face, causing Spy to cringe. The RED Spy backed up from him and looked off into the distance again.

There won't be an interrogation when I'm done here.

Time passed by as the group continued to walk. Cicadas howled an ungodly buzz as they went, a loud and annoying noise that was harder to tune out than expected. Perfect. Something to help tune out any noise I might make once I've escaped. As they approached the corner, Spy went over his plan one last time. They inched closer and closer, the gap between them and it becoming slimmer and slimmer as time went on. Finally, Heavy reached it, turning ninety degrees as the rest of the mercs lagged slightly behind.

It's time.

A sharp sound penetrated the cicadas' noise as a knife shot out of Spy's wrist. Taken by surprise, Heavy turned his head to see what was happening.

"Huh?" he muttered.

Spy raised his arm and Heavy went wide-eyed. He jammed it into his back.

"GAAAAAAAAGGHHHH!"

Everyone reacted immediately, dashing for the corner. The RED Spy and Medic rounded the corner first as Spy freed himself from Heavy's arms. He toppled to the ground, and Spy began to cloak as he stepped away, laughing to himself. "Au revoir!"

"Augh!" Medic pulled out his syringe gun. The RED Spy whipped out his revolver as fast as he could, but it got snagged as he pulled it out. Medic began firing syringes, but they were too slow to catch up with the already moving Spy. "Spy is escaping!"

Yes! It's worked, I'm going to escape!

Suddenly, they heard an explosion.

"Not if I have anything to say about it!"

Soldier came flying around the corner just before the last of Spy cloaked away.

No no no no nO NO NO N-

He dove for Spy, crashing into him and pinning him to the ground with his own body, elbow positioned on his front to hold him in place. The cloak disengaged around Spy, revealing him to the REDs as the Soldier smirked.

"Gotcha crouton!" He turned around to look at his team. "And that is how you do it, men!"

Medic knelt next Heavy, examining the wound. He checked him for a pulse, confirming that he was still alive. He looked up to the rest of the team. "Heavy is badly injured, too much for ze Medigun to heal alone!" He looked back down to Heavy. "I need help, SCHNELL!"

While the rest of the team helped him, the RED Spy spoke up. "Excuse me for a moment." He turned over to Spy, walking towards him as Soldier restrained him firmly. Anger quickly crossed his face, his teeth clenched in anger. He grabbed his cigarette and crushed it, throwing it to the ground. "You crafty BASTARD! You've not only impersonated my colleague but injured and possibly KILLED one as well!" He balled his fists in pure rage, but quickly calmed himself, regaining his composure. "I'll deal with you myself when we get to ze warehouse. And one more thing..." He reached for Spy's sleeve, pulling out the Sharp Dresser he had used to stab Heavy. "...I'm taking zis." He slipped it into his pocket. "Now then, let us be on our way!"

Soldier's grip had been as tight as Heavy's, restraining Spy just as much. However, without a knife, he could not cause another distraction, and was forced to go along with their plans. They entered the warehouse with him in tow, finding a chair and firmly tying him to it.

The massive room was dark save for a light that illuminated the Spy. It was also mostly empty, save for a few crates scattered around each corner of the building. Every sound made in it echoed along the walls, and a smell of metal permeated the whole thing.

The RED Spy stepped into the light that shone down on the Spy and looked away. "Now, tell me... Who put you up to zis?" he asked.

I'll answer honestly. Subterfuge and lying can only get you so far. "It was a plan of my own creation," he answered.

He looked at the Spy. "And you intended to execute said plan on tonight of all nights?" he questioned, clearly curious.

Spy frowned at this. "I had been deep in RED territory when ze victory sounded. I tried to keep up with ze rest of ze team, but was too far behind by ze first stage. The gates closed and I was locked outside."

"Hmm..." He held his chin. "...Go on."

"I had been planning zis for about a month, but never really intended to put it into action... though when I was locked outside, I knew it was my only choice." His frown deepened.

The RED Spy raised an eyebrow. "Tell me more about zis... plan, of yours."

I can't tell him that I killed Sniper. If I tell him what he thinks, then maybe it'll work out in the end. "Ze plan was comprised of 2 parts. First, getting in..."

Spy sulked his way through the shadows of the RED base, searching for the REDs.

I can't believe that I have to do this.

After wandering around the facility for a while, he stumbled across the mercs... who were enjoying a good time by the fire, drinking beer and telling stories. They sat on 4 logs surrounding the fire in a square, a few people to each one. Soldier sat next to Demo, and Heavy with Medic. Pyro sat with Sniper and Scout, and Spy sat with Engineer. Pyro stared intensely into the fire with his head on his hands, enraptured by its beauty. Soldier seemed bored by what was happening, and Demo was downing a bottle of beer. Heavy and Medic were seemlingly bored as well, Sniper being moderately annoyed. Engineer was studying over a blueprint as Spy looked over to seemingly do the same, and Scout was telling a story, which was most likely the source of everyone's boredom.

"...and I totally destroyed the guy, like, really beat him up for it. That asshole never even looked at me again he was so scared! I swear, if I wasn'-"

"Scout, could you bloody stop jerkin' yourself off?" Sniper interrupted. "Public wankin' is illegal!"

This gained a few good chuckles.

"Alright, whatever. Someone else go."

There was silence for a few seconds.

"Ah'll do it..." Demo said. "It was a... no, wait... yeah, that was right. It was a long tim-*burp*-e ago... in me uh... wee years..." He began to fade, and fell asleep right there, snoring.

What a colorful scene. He found himself sitting down near the fire as well, and while he couldn't have a beer or contribute, he still found himself enjoying it nonetheless.

"I would infiltrate the RED facility and find the Sniper. Then, I'd be able to knock him unconscious..."

The festivities finally ended and the mercs had gone their separate ways. Sniper began the trek to his van, but Spy beat him there by a few minutes. He opened the door, climbing inside, and shut it again. Sniper finally reached the van and went inside. He spent a few minutes putting things away and climbed into bed.

Spy carefully walked up to the van's side door and knocked on it from the inside. Sniper awoke with a start and made his way to the door. As it slided open, Spy decloaked, masking the sound, and pulled out his revolver. He put it to Sniper's back, and fired.

"...and take his place for ze night. I could use zat time to gather intelligence through various means, such as attending ze meeting zat you so graciously hosted."

"Hmpf. As I thought." The RED Spy lit another cigarette and sucked in a breath of ashy air. He paused for a moment. "I think we're done here." He turned to Soldier. "Soldier, stay put. I'm going to check on Heavy."

"Affirmative!" he said.

"Fantastic."

Suddenly, the doors burst open and moonlight poured into the room. Medic stood in the doorway, panicked, Scout behind him.

"SNIPER IS DEAD!"

"What?!" the RED Spy yelled in shock.

"Holy crap, I found Sniper's body in the back of his van! That Spy killed 'em! He freakin killed him!" Scout was moving frantically and shaking erratically, yelling his words with extreme anxiety.

The RED Spy turned to Spy, mouth open in shock. "Dear god..." Sadness washed over him, his expression both surprised and depressed, and in an instant, it turned to rage. He whipped out his revolver and balled up his fists. He stepped towards Spy with utmost fury and spat his cigarette out of his mouth. He came closer and closer to Spy, his figure within feet of him. He began to kneel down, slowly approaching Spy's face until it was inches away from his. His expression hardened suddenly, and he reared his pistol. He swung it across his arm span, hitting Spy in the cheek. He let out a cry of pain as it happened, and the RED Spy came in for another swing. And another. And another.

Tears streamed down the RED Spy's face as he smacked the Spy with his pistol and punched him repeatedly. It went on for a full minute before the Spy gained control of himself. He stopped, standing up, and looked the bruised, beaten Spy in the eyes. He gazed with an intensity that threatened to tear apart Spy's very being, and spoke.

"You disgust me. Truly. I hate you." The words were laced with potent venom. "You killed Sniper. Usually, it means nothing. Death is nothing to any us. But it's permanent zis time, and now it matters more zan ever. He was a colleague, and sometimes a friend too. But now he's dead. God, he's dead..." He sobbed a little, and raised his arm, revolver pointing to Spy's head.

"And to think zat at some point, he tried to call you a friend."

He fired the revolver.

I was never on YOUR side either!

Celestia got up from her throne as the guards dashed to the windows. Twilight and I followed slowly, and Luna arrived last. We all stared out the window at the scene unfolding before us.

A man dressed in a blue suit and pants lay on the grass outside. He had a yellow watch strapped to his wrist and a mask over his face. A fedora lay just a foot away from him.

Spy.

Twilight, Celestia, and Luna gasped at the sight, quickly teleporting us outside to meet him. He slowly began to pull himself from the lush grass beneath him, sitting up as he grabbed his fedora and placed it on his head. He looked to the Princesses and then to Twilight, who he raised an eyebrow at.

He cleared his throat and spoke. "Bonjour, Princess Celestia and Luna. I trust you remember me?" He fully stood up, adjusting his tie.

I grit my teeth, shoving my way into sight from behind Twilight. As Spy noticed me, his demeanor quickly changed from composed to frantic. He took a defensive position, appearing ready to run at a moment's notice and looked around frantically. I stared at him with a fury beyond belief as he lost his composure. We stood there for a moment, just gazing into each other's eyes, when he made a move.

Suddenly, he reached for his watch and cloaked. I quickly launched for him, tackling him to the ground before he had a chance to run, and reached for my kukri. He pulled out a revolver, but I swatted it away with my kukri before he had a chance to react. It landed a few feet out of arms' reach, and I put the knife to his throat, pressing lightly to keep him from making a move.

He breathed heavily with terror as the knife was placed against him, sweat rolling down his forehead as the anxiety made itself apparent. I continued to glare at him as he stared back into my eyes, fearful expression on his face. I turned away to meet the three Princesses' gazes, all fixated directly on me. Celestia, looking shocked, changed her demeanor by switching to a stern pose and walking toward me. As she began, though, Twilight stopped her with a hoof. She looked confused for a moment, before she turned, looking into Twilight's eyes.

Pure fear. That was the emotion she gave off, one that stopped Celestia dead in her tracks. They gazed at each other for a moment before Celestia looked back to me, simply staring, without trying to make a move. Luna did not follow up on her sister's actions either, leaving me unopposed.

A thought crossed my mind through the blinding rage. What was she so afraid of?

I turned back to Spy, who was still in the same position, wearing the same expression. I hardened my glare.

"You bloody backstabbing traitor," I spoke with a hushed voice. "Ya took me for a fool!" I pressed the blade harder against his neck.

"Perhaps I was one, though. Thinking I could trust a spy..." I hardened my expression. "Two-faced wankers, you are!"

He was crying at this point, probably out of fear, but I had no reason to care. That man was nothing short of a devious monster.

I smirked, chuckling to myself. "I wonder what 'appens when you die in this world, eh? Perhaps you really go to hell!" I cackled with sadistic glee. "Well, I suppose it's time you found out!"

I lifted my weapon over my head, preparing to swing it down, but the same thought crossed my mind again. Why was Twilight so afraid? I thought about it for a second. Coming to no conclusions, I turned around to meet her gaze. She was staring right at me, and the realization hit me.

She's scared of ME.

Recollection flashed in my eyes as I realized what I was doing. I had found Spy here, and was about to kill him out of rage in front of everyone. Right in the middle of the gardens of Canterlot.

My eyes widened, my expression one of shock and sadness. I looked over to Spy, still on the ground below me, trembling. I laid there for a second, motionless. My expression softened, the shock settling, leaving only regret and a tinge of sadness as a thought crossed my mind and reminded me of something crucial.

I don't have to be a murderer here.

I swung the knife into the ground next to Spy.

I don't have to be a killer.

It hit the grass with a thunk, digging into the dirt and standing on its own as I released my grip.

And I won't be.

I stood up, getting off of Spy, still gazing at him. He stared back up at me, unsure of what to say, and slowly began to sit up as well. The fear seemingly melted from his eyes, replaced by confusion and a strange pity. Just a second later, he got to his feet and activated his invisibility watch, disappearing into the garden behind him. I stared at the place where he disappeared and hung my head. Then I stood there, doing nothing. What felt like an hour passed before I heard a noise from anything but the sounds of nature, the sound of hooves on grass approaching from behind. Twilight came up and stood beside me, looking up at me with concerned eyes.

"Sniper?" she spoke softly.

I turned my head to her. "Twilight..." I paused and sighed. "Are you afraid of me, Twilight?"

A switch almost seemed to flip in her mind, her face changing from concern to sadness in an instant. She bit her lip and looked away, avoiding my gaze. "I..." she spoke, unable to get the words out.

But that was all I needed. I knew it was true the moment she heard what I had asked her.

I held my stance for a second, then knelt down. On one knee, I balanced myself at half my usual height and embraced Twilight in a strong hug. Her head jerked up, surprised, and she turned to me.

"Twilight..." I began. "You don't have to be afraid of me," I spoke softly. "Not now, not ever."

A tear ran down her face as I spoke those words.

"And I would never hurt you or anyone else you love..." I turned my head and looked directly into her eyes. "I'm not a killer here. Not in Equestria."

It had been only 20 minutes since Spy had disappeared. Twilight and I had been escorted to a room in the castle where we could temporarily stay, and Celestia had gone off to see to the preparations for the spells to send Spy and me back to our world. Twilight and I had talked for that time, trying to process the events that had just taken place, when Celestia walked into our quarters, holding a scroll with her magic.

She stood in front of us with a worried look. "Something has come up, and I suppose you two should know about it," she began.

Twilight and I traded worried looks with one another, then looked back to Celestia.

"There's a problem with the spell. It only works if there is only one person present in the world. If there are multiple people being displaced at once, it simply falls apart," she explained.

"Wait, does that mean..." I started.

"Yes, Sniper. We won't be able to send you back home yet," she answered for me. "In order to account for two people, we'll need to develop a completely different spell that accounts for both you and Spy being displaced at the same time."

"And how long will that take, exactly?" Twilight asked.

"Depending on how fast my sister and I can work, it might take anywhere between two and three weeks."

I'll be staying even longer? I love it here... but is this really a good thing? Maybe it's better to be home instead, back... with the team.

Even though that thought had crossed my mind, I said nothing, as did Twilight.

Celestia continued after a few seconds pause. "For now, you should take Sniper back to Ponyville. I will send you a letter once the spell has been completed," she explained. "I trust that you can house him in the castle for a while longer?" she said, smiling.

"Of course!" Twilight responded.

Her smile faded, and she quickly looked to either side and behind her. "And as for Spy, I'll task the Royal Guard with finding him."

"And after that?" Twilight asked.

She put a hoof to her chin for a moment, and her smile returned as she lowered it. "I suppose I'll cross that bridge when I come to it."

She turned around and walked to the open door. She stopped in the doorframe and turned her head to us.

"Have a good trip, you two!" she said. Celestia closed the door as she walked out.

We were still for a second, silence permeating the room. I spoke up first.

"Guess she isn't too bad once ya get to know 'er."

Twilight looked over to me. "'Isn't too bad' is a bit of an understatement."

I smirked. "So, she's the worst ever?"

She immediately recoiled at my interpretation. "What? No! She's-" She abruptly stopped and changed her expression to a frustrated frown. "You know exactly what I meant," she said.

My smirk grew. "Oh, do I?" I asked, leaning in closer.

There was a pause, followed by a snicker from Twilight, then I laughed, and then we both erupted into laughter.

We were on the train only an hour later. Sitting in the comfortable seats of the cabin, Twilight and I started talking. She told me a little about her friends, and promised to introduce me to a few more as part of getting used to Ponyville during my stay.

She had just finished telling me about Fluttershy when I tried to change the subject. Since she had already mentioned all of her main group of friends, she let it change without any interruption. I was about to start talking about the other mercs on my team, what they were like, what they did, et cetera, when she interrupted me with a question.

"Hey, uh, sorry to interrupt, but we never got the chance to talk about it, so... where do you think Spy is?" she asked.

I took a moment to think. "If anything, the little weasel is probably working out some plan while cloaked away in a remote spot that nobody goes to," I answered.

Just like usual. Heh.

Twilight seemed concerned by this response. "What do you think he's gonna do? Like, what do you think he's planning?"

"Probably just thinkin' about how he's gonna approach the Princesses after that little..." I frowned a bit and paused momentarily. "...incident...in the garden. Why are you asking, anyway?"

Twilight frowned a bit at the mention of the 'incident' as well. "Well, I mean, I'm just worried is all," she said.

"Hey, don't worry sheila. If I know Spy, and trust me, I do, he'll show up when he wants to. It's just a matter of when."

Suddenly, the noise of a decloak filled the cabin. We turned to the noise to find Spy standing up, leaning on a wall with his fedora in his hand and a cigarette in his mouth. He placed the hat on his head, wiggling it into place so that it gripped snugly on his head.

"How about right now?" he said.

"S-Spy! What the bloody hell are you doing here?!" I angrily asked.

A somber look crossed his face as he turned his head to us. "Following you to see what you say about me."

A scowl crossed my face as I narrowed my eyes at him. His expression remained unchanged.

"But I also came to say zat I am sorry."

The scowl left my face, but my eyes remained narrowed.

His frown became more potent. "I was misguided, Sniper." He spoke softly and gently, each word packed with melancholy. He turned to look out the window, and took the cigarette out of his mouth, holding it between two fingers. "I forgot about ze lessons zat zis place taught me. About ze things zat I learned after being here for only a small time. About ze things I had forgotten in ze endless war between RED and BLU." He turned his head to look straight in front of him. "About friendship." He spoke sadly, as if recalling the loss of something dear to him. He paused for a few moments, and his head drooped down. "When I was locked out of ze BLU base zat night, I knew zat it was ze perfect chance to give my team ze edge they needed so desperately." His eyes shifted to one side. "Ze person who I knew would be easiest to kill was you, Sniper. Anybody else would be suicide. You are ze only one who sleeps away from ze others." He shifted uncomfortably. "So, I did it. I killed you for ze betterment of my team, knowing that you might not return from Equestria until after ze battle in Dustbowl. We would score a victory, all thanks to my unorthodox plan."

I glared at him in silence.

He looked over to me, and seeing my face, he sighed and turned his head back. "It was selfish. It was something inconsiderate and horrible to do." He looked back at me. "I realize zat now. I realize zat I had forgotten what our friendship meant. I had forgotten its value, and its power." He looked straight forward again. "When I performed ze act, I had no regrets. Zere was no remorse for it." He sighed. "After you let me go just a bit ago, however, I took some time to think. It was zen zat I realized something important." He looked over to me again, and stared right at me. "I realized zat I had betrayed you and our friendship. It took you sparing me to help me remember what our friendship meant. It means more zan sitting together on tree stumps in Sawmill, more zan enjoying ze sounds of ze rain in Thunder Mountain, and more zan ze peace and quiet of an empty battlefield. It is about trust and respect, and ze connection itself...and I betrayed zat." He paused for a moment before finishing. "Forgive me, Sniper," he finished, head hung in shame.

The glare had disappeared, and the anger had long since settled. A frown was on my face instead of a scowl, and my eyes were no longer narrowed. I looked away, contemplating his speech. I know what he did to me. He betrayed me and everything that our friendship stood for. But maybe I should forgive him. What he did may have been bad, but in the end, nothing bad actually came out of it, so maybe it's the right thing to do... No, it IS the right thing to do. I know it is.

I looked back at him. "Spy?"

"Yes?" he answered.

Because friendship isn't easy to learn.

I smiled. "I haven't gone looking for any quiet spots around Ponyville yet. You in?"

I would know.

He smiled back. "Always."

Because once upon a time, I didn't know friendship either.

Author's Note

...and that's this chapter!

A little longer than usual, this chapter was meant to close the book on a few different loose ends here and there and complete the first major arc of the story.

I'm SO SORRY that this took way longer than usual. There were hiccups and delays and... all sorts of stuff, plus the time that it took to write this... it was just a mess all around.

I also know that I promised another 4k-word-long chapter in my post about the chapter being late, but due to how this chapter ends with the first major arc closing up, I can't be irresponsibly extending the chapter at the end. You'll get a new chapter to kick off our 'part two' of the story. Stay tuned!

That's how we do it in the bush!

When we finally arrived back in Ponyville, Twilight decided to go back to her castle to check on Spike and Starlight, while Spy and I decided to follow up on our promised peace and quiet by exploring the outskirts of town for a while. We started talking as soon as we got out of earshot of the train station.

Spy stopped walking. "Good heavens, it is quite ze hot day out," he said.

I stopped for a second to assess the accuracy of his claims. "Eh, I don't feel it."

"Hm." We started walking again. "You know, zey say zat where a person grows up for most of zeir life dictates ze temperatures zat zey are comfortable in."

I considered that for a second. "Huh," I said. "I didn't know that. So, guess I'm just used to the Austrailian heat?"

"It would seem zat way, yes."

A few minutes later, small amounts of sweat began to visibly moisten the fabric of his balaclava. "Alright, I've have enough. I'm taking zis off."

"Wait, you're what?" I said, surprised.

"Taking off my mask." He stopped walking and took off his hat.

I looked at him curiously. "Uh... Mate, you never take off your mask."

He paused what he was doing and looked back at me. "Well, zere's a first time for everything, oui?" He proceeded to take off his mask and replace his hat. He took a second to enjoy the weak mid-to-late afternoon breeze on his face. He smirked. "Plus, I have no need for it here. What ze hell would I even be infiltrating in a place as nice as zis?"

I took a moment to look at Spy's face. I had never actually seen it before that moment. Not even the RED Spy took off his mask, and I'll be honest, I don't know if the face I saw was the one that I had expected or not.

I couldn't think of a good response. "I mean, I guess nothing."

The smirk faded into a smile as he looked ahead again. "For now... for now."

Not long after we started, we found ourselves at the edge of a strange forest. The vegetation was thick and wild, and the trees cast a dark shadow that blanketed the ground in blackness. Even at the edge, the forest was almost too dark to see into.

"Zis forest feels... unnatural. I think it's best we keep out," Spy said.

"Mate, I gotta agree with you on that one. This place gives me the bloody creeps," I responded.

He took his cigarette from his mouth. "Though, I am curious about zis place. Perhaps ze locals could tell us?"

"Naw mate, the ponies in town are probably too scared to talk to us much. Seein' me with Princess Twilight helped to quell that for a bit, but I think we should keep out of town otherwise."

So instead of going inside, or even to town, we elected to walk along the perimeter of the forest and peer inside every once in a while. The noises of the forest were loud enough to hear without even being inside, so we listened intently. After a few minutes of this, Spy spoke up.

"How much do you know about ze ponies?"

I raised an eyebrow at that. "What do ya mean?"

"I mean to ask if you know about ze more... peculiar traits zat they possess, such as Cutie Marks?"

"You mean those tattoos or whatever? I never bothered asking. Thought it was a cultural thing."

"Non. Zey are actually much more complicated zan zat."

Spy went on to explain the purpose of Cutie Marks and their meaning to the ponies. He also asked about my knowledge of the 3 races, and explained to me their innate abilities.

"So pegasi can... actually move the weather."

"Zat is correct."

"...Blimey."

Spy tapped my shoulder. I looked away from the forest and at him, but he was looking straight ahead and up. I followed his example and looked up, only to see a cloud.

I raised an eyebrow. "Uh, somethin' wrong, mate?" I looked back at him. "Cloud looks fine to me."

"Not with ze cloud! Look at zat coming down from ze far side!"

I looked up again to see some strange rainbow thing drooping off the side of the cloud, but from that angle, it was only faintly noticeable.

"Alright, I see what you mean. What the bloody hell is that?"

Suddenly, the rainbow object shifted place and was tugged back up into the cloud. Just a second later, a cyan head popped out from atop the cloud and peered down at us. It looked confused.

"Oh, it's just a pony."

Spy looked over at me. "So zey can walk on ze clouds as well as manipulate zem?" He looked back up, putting a hand to his chin. "How curious."

I looked at Spy again. "Mate, how do you think they'd manipulate the weather if they couldn't stand on the bloody clouds?" I asked him.

"Alright, I suppose you have me zere."

I chuckled at that.

Looking back up to the cloud, the pony now seemed even more confused, and not just that, but suspicious. She stood up and bounded off of the cloud, taking flight. Lowering her altitude, she hovered just above us.

"What are you two supposed to be?" she asked.

What a warm welcome.

Spy cleared his throat and stepped forward. "We are humans. My friend and I do not come from zis world of yours, we were transported here by a magical anomaly." He smiled. "If you want to know more, go ask your friend, Twilight Sparkle."

She stared blankly for a second. "How do you know that Twilight and I are friends?" she asked accusingly.

Deciding that a direct route would be best suited for the situation, I spoke before Spy had the chance. "Mate, Twilight's givin' me a place to stay right now. I think I'd know who she's friends with."

She squinted her eyes, seemingly examining us, before stopping suddenly. "You know what, yeah, I'll just ask Twilight."

She darted away at astounding speed, leaving a rainbow trail behind her. We both looked back and saw how quickly she was making progress towards the castle in the distance. Our eyes widened at the sight, and Spy's jaw dropped.

"Good lord!" Spy exclaimed.

There was a long pause before I said anything. When I finally spoke up, I only had one word.

"Woah."

Spy attempted to regain his composure. "We should... keep moving, oui?"

I fumbled a bit on my words. "Uh... Y-yeah, yeah, let's keep going."

We walked in silence for a minute or so.

"...How fast do you think she was going?" I asked.

"Hmm..." He put a hand to his chin. "At least 2,000 HU/s."

"Yeah, that sounds about right."

We kept walking along the perimeter of the forest as Spy told me about what happened back in the real world after he was captured.

"...and I was about to get away, too, when ze Soldier rocket jumps around ze corner and smashes into me, pinning me to ze ground. And just after he does zat..."

I listened to his story while looking forward. As we turned a corner, a trail came into view.

"There's a trail up ahead."

"...so ze other Spy-" He stopped himself. "Wait, you said there's what?"

"A trail heading into the forest. Just up ahead."

He scanned the surrounding area until he noticed an area where the vegetation became much less thick. He quickened his pace, and I followed suit. We reached the path, and gazing down it, we could see that it was clearly frequented. Vegetation was more sparse on the trail and a few hoofprints were visible in the dirt.

"You certainly saw zis trail quickly from so far away."

"You should know I have an eye for this stuff."

"And I assume zis is why you are a Sniper?"

"All in the job description."

Suddenly, we both seized up as hoofsteps became audible from somewhere nearby. We turned around, scanning the area, and finding nothing, turned back to the forest. Further down the path, something was starting to become visible...

"Oh. It's just a pony again."

A yellow pony with pink hair came out of the forest with a satchel on either side of her, containing what looked to be various flowers and herbs.

I squinted my eyes to get a better look at the approaching figure. Her cutie mark was of 3 butterflies arranged in a triangle, and she seemed to be oblivious to our existence. She was humming a tune with her eyes closed, head bobbing slightly to either side. We waited for a few seconds, staring at her. Suddenly, she took in a relaxed breath and opened her eyes.

"Eep!" She immediately recoiled in fear and jumped into a nearby bush. Spy and I traded glances for a moment before our eyes settled back on the pony in the nearby shrubbery.

"Uh, you alright there?" I asked.

Silence permeated the trail as the seconds passed by. A noise interrupted that silence as the bush began to rustle. Slowly but surely, her head rose above the leaves. She gazed at us with curiosity. "Oh, I'm sorry..." She flew out of the bush and back onto the dusty path. Slowly, she approached and examined us. "I've just never seen anything like you before..."

We let her take a look at us from all sides. She circled around us, intrigued by our forms. We kept our eyes on her constantly, swiveling our heads around to meet her gaze.

Finally, I decided to speak up.

"You're... Fluttershy, yeah?" I asked.

She looked up from examining my legs. "Um, yes, how did you know?" she asked, staring.

I opened my mouth to speak, but suddenly, something slammed into the ground beside us, scaring the living hell out of me. Spy and I jumped back as it hit, a cloud of dust rising in its wake to reveal...

"They heard it from Twilight."

A rainbow-maned pegasus.

We quickly tried to recompose ourselves. "Christ, don't do zat!" Spy scolded.

She looked at Fluttershy, who had been shaken quite vigorously by the event. In a moment, sympathy, and perhaps a bit of shame, flashed on her face.

She looked back to Spy. "S-sorry. I got a little carried away."

"It is...fine." He paused, visibly annoyed at the entire ordeal. "...just, do not do zat again."

"Yeah, sure." She perked up a little.

For a good few seconds, everybody just stared at one another, and the uncomfortable mess of unblinking gazes took hold of us all.

Rainbow broke the silence. "Right..." She looked around awkwardly. "Just... gimme a minute to catch Flutters up."

We kindly obliged, stepping back from the trail.

Still a little shaken from the preceding events, we both wore blank stares as we gazed directly into the forest.

"Remind me never to anger her."

"Consider yourself reminded, mate."

A few silent minutes passed by before anything interesting happened. There was a thumping, somewhat rhythmic in nature, coming from the trail. As the noise grew louder, I moved to get a better look down the trail. Spy had noticed this, and I motioned for him to listen closely. The thumping grew louder, and it was apparent that something was coming our way. We watched in anticipation.

A voice boomed from the darkness. "Little Fluttershy, I bring flower from Zecora!"

Spy, who was in the middle of lighting a cigarette, froze in place. Fear overwhelmed his face as a hulking man came out of the forest with a smile on his face.

Inevitably, the two men traded glances. Heavy dropped the flower in his hand.

Ah, piss...

Author's Note

Oops. I may have been a couple months late on this one.

Sorry about that, I've just been far too busy with school to keep writing, unfortunately, but trust me when I say that I will not abandon this story. It must be written to completion, god dammit!

Now that that's out of the way, I can address the fact that next chapter will be an interlude. In that chapter, we'll take a look at what happened to the Heavy to get him to this point.

Sayonara!

Interlude: Ooh... Heavy is drunk...

Author's Note

Sorry if anybody was confused about last chapter's ending. Let me make a quick clarification.

Remember how the BLU Spy stabbed the Heavy in the TF2 world? And remember how dying in the TF2 world (conditionally) brings you to the MLP world?

Yeah, essentially, it boils down to that.

Now, without further ado, let's get the chapter started.

Interlude: Ooh... Heavy is drunk...

Doors burst open in the RED base, the Medic running into the operating room with syringes in hand. The RED Heavy lay on a table, bleeding profusely despite the Medigun healing him from above. A syringe slammed into his arm and the liquid inside it pumped into his bloodstream.

A panicked look overtook the Medic's face as he waited for the emergency liquid's effects to kick in. Only a few event-less seconds passed before his look of panic turned to one of determination. He rushed to the drawers on his right, ripping out the tools from inside the desk at lightning speed. He flipped over the Heavy and prepared for surgery. The knife wound inflicted by the BLU Spy just minutes ago was large, though not so large as to be instantly fatal...

There was still time. If only he could keep him alive until morning, the respawners would turn back on. If he died before then, though...

Work began instantaneously. Scalpels plunged into flesh and torn veins were put back together. Muscle was snipped and stitched as he tried desperately to save the Heavy's life.

However, as the minutes passed on, the wound showed no signs of improvement. The Medigun was useless against the wound.

As life faded from the Heavy's body, a scream of anguish followed the flat-line of a monitor just beside.

He had been too late.

The Heavy was dead.

The Heavy's eyes opened slowly as the gentle sounds of a dark forest engulfed his senses. The unknown darkness crept around him, dancing shadows in front of his eyes. The light of the sun above barely penetrated the thick forest canopy, leaving little room for sight to guide him.

As his mind slowly turned on, and the gears began to turn, his eyes widened and expression filled with concern.

Concern turned to confusion, and then to surprise as he noticed the vines that were suspending him ten feet off the ground. He struggled a little to free himself from the vines, but they snapped, sending him careening to the forest floor with a yell.

He slammed into the ground with a loud thump and an "OOF!," rustling a few leaves nearby. He groaned, pushing himself to his feet, and now that the pain had fully awakened him, he took a good look around.

That initial concern came back to him. "Where is Heavy?" he asked the forest. A few more mental gears kicked into action, and realization hit him very suddenly. "Where is team?" he asked to himself, rather than to the forest.

Upon receiving no response, he took a deep breath and sighed.

He spent another moment taking one last examination of his surroundings, and slowly set off into the thick, unwelcoming vegetation to find civilization.

Many minutes passed before something other than the forest's silence or his own movements could be heard. There was a sound from the bushes behind him, the light rustling of something seemingly sinister slowly slithering around. His head turned in the direction of the noise, yet he saw nothing, as if what had just approached him had dissipated entirely.

He resumed his trek, more carefully this time, and listened closely for the sound of rustling bushes.

Once again, he heard the noise behind him, and flipped around as fast as he could, Warrior's Spirit fists at the ready... but there was nothing there. Again, he resumed his trek, intending to trick the monster that intended to attack him. It was something he had learned from dealing with spies throughout his days, and he put it to use.

He waited for the sound of rustling bushes, but kept walking. He heard it again, closer this time, and only then did he turn.

Staring right at him was a horrible creature with the head of a chicken and the body of a serpent, one that had, in its mouth, a sandwich.

His sandwich.

Instantly infuriated, he charged for the terrible beast armed with brown claws strapped to his hands. It dodged the attack, slithering backwards away from him. Instinctively, he turned his swing into a dive, and jumped for the beast. Not anticipating the attack, it failed to escape his claws in time. An awful screech tore through the forest, alerting just about everything to the location of the two combatants. The body of the snake tore away from his grasp at lightning speed, flinging him a little ways away. Landing face first on the ground, he took a second to stand up, and looked back to the beast.

Its eyes were focused on him with jarring intensity, sending a shock through his entire body. He froze in place, despite his best efforts, and found himself unable to move. He struggled, trying to break free from the creature's grasp, but could not will himself to do it. The beast's power was too much for him, and, his senses overwhelmed, he almost missed the cry of another nearby creature.

"What did I tell you about turning ponies to stone?!"

The chicken's stare immediately hardened at the sound of it, and quickly, he found himself losing his remaining strength. However, something quickly blocked his line of sight, and he felt control return to his body.

"You turn him back RIGHT NOW, mister!"

And just like that, all control came back to him, and he fell over for the third time that day. He caught himself, though, and landed on his hands and knees, before regaining his composure and shifting his weight to sit on the forest floor.

"Ooh... Stupid wizard plays too many tricks on Heavy today..."

"Mister bear, are you alright?"

"Медведь? Heavy does not-" As he turned in the direction of the voice, he was greeted with a small, yellow pony with wings and a pink mane. Large, blue eyes stared right at him, ones filled with concern that looked too human to be real to him.

He had to stop for more than a second to understand what was going on in front of him. However, it wasn't very helpful, as the only conclusion he could draw was that there was none.

He rubbed his eyes for a second, and after confirming that what he saw was indeed real, he put a hand to his head.

"Ooh... Heavy is drunk..."

Fluttershy stared at him with confusion. She could see the concern in his face, and it didn't sit well with her. What also didn't sit well with her is that it actually spoke Equus. "Excuse me, is... is everything alright?" she asked, being careful to express plenty of concern.

He groaned in response, then looked up from his hands. "да... Heavy is... fine." He struggled to make eye contact with the Pegasus in front of him. "Heavy thanks you."

More closely examining him, she suddenly noticed the small wounds and bruises on his body, one of which was taken straight to the forehead.

Heavy quickly noticed the gaze fixated on his forehead, and looked down at his hand to see a small splotch of red. Instinctively, he reached into his pocket, only to find nothing there. Suddenly, the realization hit him.

"Where is sandvich?" He said, looking around frantically. He patted the ground hopelessly, hoping to feel his sandwich somewhere. He got up and looked around more, searching frantically for his precious food item. Turning up nothing, his temper began to flare. "What happened to sandvich?!" He said, looking at the small pony in front of him.

"W-wait, that was your sandwich?" she worriedly responded. "It just ran away with it, and I thought-"

"What!? Beast has Heavy's sandvich?!" He became furious, exaggerating his words with movements of him arms. "Why do you let little snake run with sandvich?!"

"U-u-uh..." She cowered in fear of the beast before her.

For a few seconds, their gazes met, and the fear in her eyes sparked something inside him. The anger melted away from him like the snow in the Siberian summer, and what melted from that snow filled him instead; he looked straight through her, and saw something else entirely.

He saw blankets of snow cast for miles upon miles through the fences of a Russian gulag. He saw the fear in the eyes of the people who were trapped there with him, slaves to the revolutionaries. He saw the entire complex burnt to the ground in a fire that let he and his family escape to their freedom. And he saw that same fear again and again in so many people.

Now, he had seen that fear, that same fear, one more time. But this time, it was he who had created it.

At this point, he had no rage left to give. "Heavy... Heavy cannot stay angry at you. You did best." He paused for a second. "Heavy is... Heavy is sorry."

He suddenly felt the embrace of the small Pegasus in front of him. "It's okay, Heavy... I understand."

He was taken aback by her kindness, the fact that she could forgive him so easily after just a second ago being so terrified of his anger. More importantly than that, though, he was touched by her actions.

"What is little pony's name?" he asked.

She released the embrace, then flew back a few feet to hover at eye-level with him. "My name is Fluttershy. It's nice to meet you..." She paused, waiting for him fill in the blank.

And just then, he had a very funny thought. "If you wish, you may call me 'Mister Bear,' да?"

At his request, Fluttershy led him to the trail and promised to bring him to Ponyville... but only after finishing her errands. They stopped by Zecoras, picking up a few herbs and flowers, before making their way back along the trail. A little ways into the trip back, though, they discovered that something was missing, and so they split up; Heavy went back to Zecora's, and Fluttershy to the forest entrance.

He made his way back to Zecora's hut, retrieved the flower, and once again set out for the forest entrance.

As he finally saw the light that marked the forest edge, he called out to Fluttershy. "Little Fluttershy, I bring flower from Zecora!" he yelled. The light from outside the forest nearly blinded him, but he was still able to make out two figures in the distance, as well as the two ponies in front of him.

As he took a good look at the scene around him, he happened to see that the figures in the distance were distinctly human, one of which...

He froze in place. He stared intensely at the man in the distance.

Then, the flower dropped from his hands.

And his fury could not be contained.

I just bagged the world's fattest man!

Author's Note

A spooky surprise, foreshadowed on the 24th in a blog post. This chapter's relatively short, but it's mostly here to set up the next part of the story.

This chapter took... I don't know, at least 12 rewrites to accomplish. And it was a pain, even as I managed to finally get it down-pat.

But, I did it. Eventually. And I think that's what matters now. If you'd like to know more, mostly about what's been keeping me from writing, check out the newest blog post.

Otherwise, dig in. The twists, turns, and otherwise are never over. Not till the fat lady sings.

I just bagged the world's fattest man!

A thunderous roar pierced the silent field as Heavy charged toward Spy, screaming in rage.

Spy tried to cloak, but Heavy slammed into him, elbow first, sending him careening to the ground. His cloak flashed blue, then completely disabled as he hit the dirt. He stamped his foot onto Spy's chest, immobilizing him.

Snapping out of my daze, I took in the situation for what it was, and spoke up. "Heavy! What the bloody hell!?" I yelled.

Heavy, still securing his foothold, looked over in confusion. "Sniper is still alive?" he asked.

Spy tried to get up, but was stopped by the Heavy's foot, which quickly stamped him back into the dirt.

"Yes, I'm still kickin', you buffoon! Now get offa him, before I make you myself!"

He took a second to stare. He traded glances with Spy and myself, and chuckled. "What, Heavy gets off of enemy?" he torted. "Does Sniper still think BLU Spy is friend? After he kills you?"

I growled. "That's not the point! I-"

He interrupted. "Sniper did not hear team the first time, dд?" Suddenly, he turned dead serious, and looked me straight in the eye. "We kill BLU. We do not make friends." He put more pressure on Spy, looking down as he did it. He smirked, and looked back at me. "This is life. Do you wish to cry about it, baby?" he mocked.

Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy sat silently in the background, watching in confusion as the Heavy mock-cried.
"WAAAAAHH! WAAAAAAAHHH! Cry some mo-"

I burned with fury, prepared to retort, when Spy butted in.

First, he groaned, and then spoke. "Come on, I don't have all day!"

"Huh?" Heavy looked down at him, and then noticed the revolver pointed into his foot.

Spy fired directly into the Heavy's foot, eliciting a painful scream. He stumbled backward, tripping over his own feet, and fell to the ground, grunting from the impact.

As Heavy clenched his foot in pain, Spy stood up normally. He quickly dusted off as Heavy sat in the dirt, trying to recover from the shot to his foot. He pointed the gun straight at the Heavy, and aimed down the sights. Heavy winced, and rose his hand to block the shot.

"Mate, stop! That's enough!" I pleaded.

Spy turned away from Heavy, and gave me a curious look. He stared for a second, and began to lower his gun. But after a few seconds, he stopped, fury flashing on his face, and took aim.

He fired the revolver, sinking a bullet into the Heavy's bear claw, which ricocheted off that claw and into the ground. The pseudo-glove flew high into the air, and landed in the dirt as the Spy aimed another shot. Heavy raised his other hand, and Spy fired again, hitting the other claw.

"STOP!" I yelled, desperately trying to interrupt the brawl.

Rainbow Dash, watching idly in the background until now, perked up at the screams. Something in her head seemed to click as she flipped into distress and took to the sky. She raced for Twilight's.

As Rainbow flew into the distance, Heavy took the pieces of the broken claw and hurled it at Spy, who sidestepped to avoid the projectile. He watched as the pieces stuck into the ground behind him, and turned again to face his opponent. Suddenly, Heavy jumped from his idle stance, ignoring the injury, and pounced. Spy raised a revolver to fire off a shot.

I soon realized that the battle was far beyond stopping. ...There's only one thing I can do...

But as he took aim, Heavy collided with him, sending him to the ground once more. The revolver, still without firing, flew from his hands, and landed across from Heavy.

I pulled out my rifle.

Spy, completely pinned, could watch in horror the bear-like monster took hold of his revolver and pointed it straight at his face.

I took aim. Sorry, mate.

"...did you think you could beat me?" he said, staring right at him. Spy said nothing, and Heavy smirked. "You are not so good as you think, tiny man." he said, finger on the trigger. "You will learn lesson today about dealing with Heavy."

I fired. He pulled the trigger.

The battle ended with the sound of a bullet. The shot rang across the empty field, killing the noise of intense fighting with the sound of unbearable silence. Both of us had fired, but one of us fired first. The revolver, bent with the force of a high-caliber bullet, lay aside the two combatants.

The bullet had ricocheted off the gun, landing in the Heavy's hand. He bled profusely from an opening in his palm. Slowly, he got off of Spy. His hand, a complete mess, was limp and unusable.

Spy, free from the Heavy's weight, backed away from the hulking man. He quickly adjusted his watch. Fumbling with the infernal device, a single 'click' resounded as it came back to life. As he reached to turn it on, he cast a solemn look my way, and nearly stopped himself, but didn't. He disappeared from sight, and even the quiet field failed to give away his footsteps.

Holstering my rifle, I went up to Heavy. As I approached, I saw the true nature of the wound. A hole, drawn straight though his hand, was almost like seeing through a peephole on a door. I reached him, and knelt, getting closer to the wound.

He pulled back the hand. Blood dripped down his other hand as he tried to hide it from sight. The anger, now faded from his face, could still be seen, even as he tried to hide it. Though, as he began to look my way, the rage had seemed to grow.

"Spy gets away," he sighed, pensive in his gaze. "Sniper's fault."

And as he spoke, I had to think. Soon enough, I tried to speak. "Mate, I'm-"

Though he stopped me. "Heavy knows. You are sorry," he said, even as his mouth betrayed his eyes. "But...he knows you do not want this."

I said nothing. I could only manage to meet his gaze as the words appeared in the sullen air around us.

The feeling, the one in my eyes, he seemed to read with careful insight. He sighed, pitiful. "Do not think that you are traitor, Sniper." He looked away, into the distance. "You are still credit to team, even as you make mistakes..."

And as Rainbow came back with Twilight in tow, and Fluttershy approached from behind, I felt the ghost of those unspoken words.

Twilight paced, back and forth, through the hallways of the castle. As she passed us, waiting in a side-room, she checked to see if Celestia had responded.

Spike and I chatted idly by, though I waned in enthusiasm.

"So...where did he go?" Spike asked.

"...he's with Fluttershy," I muttered.

Twilight passed the door to the room.

"Oh," he said. "Guess he's really out of it, then."

I winced at that remark. "Yeah...you could say that..."

Twilight passed the door again.

"And...how long is she keeping..."

"Heavy," I finished.

Twilight passed the door again, peeking inside.

"Right. Heavy," he uttered. "Did they give you a time?"

It took a second for me to answer. "She didn't say."

Twilight peeked into the room, and continued on.

"-And speaking of timing, is Twilight getting even faster?"

"Let's hope not," I remarked.

Suddenly, a magic belch erupted from Spike, spewing magical, mystical fire, which turned into a scroll with a seal of royalty.

And as suddenly as it arrived, our purple pony princess pal arrived and took it away. She teleported in, ripping the scroll from his hands.

Taken aback, I jumped a bit, falling off of my chair in the process. I grumbled.

He recoiled a little at her sudden appearance, but quickly regained his temperament. He folded his arms, seemingly peeved. "Y'know, you could've just asked," he snarked.

Twilight didn't respond. She ripped open the seal, unfurling the letter, and began to read profusely as I put myself back onto the chair.

As she read, the expression on her face began to noticeably change. While at first, she was rather anxious, it seemed to fade and turn to concern. By the time she was done, it seemed as though she had seen a ghost.

Rather than try to guess what she was thinking, we tried to ask ourselves.

"...Something...wrong?" I cautiously asked.

She nodded, affirming our collective suspicions, and passed me the letter.

Spike and I read as one, looking for the point that seemed to have scared her. And as we delved into the letter, we found it.

I am sorry to say that in light of this new mercenary, I can no longer conjure a spell with enough power to connect the two worlds.

I lowered the parchment, and stared at the wall.

...I can't go home.

What 'appened?

"'Oi, Spy!"

"What, bushman?"

"You see anything out there?"

"I think you would know if I did." He took out his disguise kit and lit a cigarette, blowing out some smoke.

I groaned. "At this rate, the heat'll kill me before those wankers even get 'ere," I muttered.

It was high noon on Dustbowl. Clouds of sand drifted slowly through the lower areas of the third stage, and the blazing sun loomed overhead, scorching the dead land. Rusted metal, extreme heat, and an unsavory amount of dehydration. All par for the course.

It was so incredibly bright outside that I almost missed a bullet exploding Spy's head.

"ACK!" I jumped, surprised, and fumbled for my rifle. "Incoming!" I yelled, and took aim.

"Dammit boys, go go go!" our Soldier called out, charging out of the barracks.

The rest of the team followed shortly after, ready to fight off the BLUs. The RED Demoman took a stance on the bridge with his Medic behind him, ready for a fight. Solly stood just beside them, rocket launcher at the ready.

The first BLU came around the corner just a second afterward, a scout equipped with a festive scattergun and a very spooky looking ghost hat. He doubled jumped around the corner and came barreling towards the RED Demoman, scattergun at the ready.

"Come on scary hat, let's do t- AAAGGGHHHHH!" he screamed, a bullet, my bullet, flying through his skull. He landed face first on the ground just below, splattering blood on the scorched earth beneath him.

"Wanker."

The rest of the team moved up, closing the gap between them and the corner. Soldier took the front, leading the pack.

Just then, a BLU Demoman followed by a Medic came into view. He shield-charged the RED Soldier and was given a rocket to his face in compensation, sending Soldier flying across the bridge. The Demoman stopped in his tracks and put away his sword, pulling out a grenade launcher in its place. Our Demoman preempted him by lobbing a few grenades, prompting the BLU Demo to jump out of the way and return the assault. They continued like this, lobbing grenades at one another, when Soldier rocket jumped over the Demoman. He flew over the BLU, pulling out a shovel as he dropped, intent on killing. The Medic, however, had other ideas. Pulling out an Ubersaw, he charged at the descending Soldier and landed a critical hit, killing him instantly.

I groaned in frustration, charging a shot, only to feel the wind of a bullet passing by my head. I jolted in surprise and looked over at the corner, only to find a BLU Sniper scoped into his rifle. I quickly adjusted my aim, changing targets to the Sniper, and fired a shot. He reacted quickly, rolling out of the way of the shot, and fired his own. I dodged to the side, narrowly avoiding his bullet. We silently observed each other, waiting for one of us to make the next move, when a ball collided with the BLU Sniper's face. Surprised, he grabbed his forehead, only for a cleaver to dig its way into his skull. I looked over to see that our Scout had finally come out of spawn, and was quickly charging around the corner.

I turned back to the bridge and saw the two Demomen fighting at close range. The BLU Demo had managed to close the distance between the fighters, forcing them into a melee battle, one which he would clearly have the upper hand in. He swung his sword at the RED Demoman, who blocked his blow with a shield. He landed a bottle of scrumpy on the other man's face, sending him back a few paces, only to be charged by the BLU Demo. They collided, sending the RED Demo to the ground with violent force. He stood above him, victorious, and prepared to deal the final blow, only to be distracted by the sound of a Medic in pain.

"Huh? ACK!" He flipped around as our Spy drove a knife into the Medic's back. "You back-pokin' snake!" he yelled, running for the Spy. Unfortunately for him, I was prepared. I fired a shot into the back of his head, killing him instantly. The Spy looked up to my balcony and smirked.

Demo got up, brushing himself off. "Took ya' long enough."

Spy rolled his eyes. "Oh, please."

Their conversation was interrupted as Scout ran around the corner, covered in flames. "FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!" he screamed, falling to the ground completely limp. Spy quickly cloaked, while Demo busied himself reloading his grenade launcher. A Pyro flew around the corner, followed by a Heavy and his Medic, minigun spun up.

I scoped in, ready to fire off a shot, when I heard the gentle sound of a decloaking mechanism behind me. I flipped around, seeing the figure of a Pyro. I immediately recognized the spook, and unsheathed my Kurki, chuckling to myself. "Stabbin' time."

I kicked him to the ground before he had any time to react. He hit the wall with a loud slam, dropping his disguise. "Merde," he said, jumping to his feet. I immediately charged him with my kukri, narrowly missing the Spy as he dodged my attack. I repeated the action, violently thrashing my blade at him. He whipped out a revolver, landing several shots into my chest. I stumbled backward in pain, clutching my torso. He laughed maliciously and cloaked himself, escaping the encounter unharmed. I swung where he cloaked to no avail; he had escaped.

I realized how hurt I was, and ran out to find some health. "MEDIC!" I yelled, running to the bridge, only to find the remains of a bloody battle. The Heavy and his Medic lay in pieces on the bridge and our Medic had been shot down by his minigun. The Demoman smoldered as flames consumed his body, and the enemy Pyro looked up from his kill. He began to chuckle, and charged towards me, his laugh turning into sadistic glee as he revved his flamethrower.

Suddenly, I heard a noise over the sound of the Pyro's flamethrower. A blur of motion came ripping by, as a screaming Soldier clobbered the Pyro with his shovel. He landed on the ground a few feet after, rolling to a stop. He stood up, and came over to the corpse, basking in his kill.

"I just tore you a new chimney, Smokey Joe!"

The Soldier looked over, giving me a thumbs up. I returned it wholeheartedly. "Thanks mate."

"Godspeed," he said, and rocket jumped away.

I went back up to my post, and the round continued on. Soldiers shoveled, Medics ubered, and Spies backstabbed, all concluding in the final minute of the round. The BLUs had proved strong, but not strong enough, and thanks to our teamwork...

"VICTORY!"

...we held them back.

The BLUs retreated, and we gave chase. As they made their way to the first stage of Dustbowl, we locked them out of the area, sealing off their exits and entrances. We would have to deal with them tomorrow, but it would keep them out for the night, at least, so we turned off the respawner.

We celebrated our victory, sitting around a fire and drinking beers. We told stories of the times before we were mercenaries, and placed bets on who would get the most kills the next day.

We had gone on like that for hours, drinking and laughing and goofing off. By the time we had gone to bed, it was already past midnight.

I was the last to go to sleep that night.

It was only a quarter past midnight when I made it to the van. I keep it outside, away from the rest of the team.

I crawled into my van, the one and only, and closed the door behind me. I started walking toward the back of the van, when I heard a faint rapping on the door. Sluggishly, I made my way to the front again. ...who the hell's up at this hour? Slowly, I slid open the door, revealing the vast, empty wasteland of the Dustbowl. But there was nothing there, no teammates or enemies to be seen.

But then, as I slid the door closed again, it hit me. Suddenly, all sorts of alarms went off in my head. A faint knocking, opening a door, nobody there? It's almost like there was an invisible man-

Spy.

What the hell's a Spy doing here? At this hour? I panicked, frantically searching around for his presence, when another knock came at the door, this time louder. I bolted to the door, sliding it open, and prepared to take out my kukri...

When I felt something, cold, hard, and sharp on my back.

"Peekaboo!" he said, driving the knife into my back.

"AAGGH!" I fell to the floor, paralyzed. The Spy stepped over me, shutting the door.

"HELP M- GAH!" He shot me through the arm, cutting me off.

"Sorry to pop in unannounced, but I think you'll find this quite pertinent." His expression was serious and scornful.

I looked up at him with teary eyes, unable to say anything.

"BLU has lost one too many times for our liking, and we've been meaning to hatch a plan to get rid of you. Permanently." He lit a cigarette, sucking in ashy air. "Your colleagues locked me out of our base today, so I had no choice but to put them into action."

The sadness turned to rage in an instant, but all I could do was glare.

"Oh, and don't worry about your team going under... I've got a replacement for you!" He smirked maliciously.

He opened his disguise kit, and it all made sense.

"No worries, mate! HAHAHAHAHA!" he mocked. Midway through his bout of laughter, he was engulfed by a cloud of smoke, and his laugh changed to match my own.

The last thing I remember was the image of my own body standing over me, laughing to himself. And then a gunshot. And then blackness.

I groaned, moving my hands to my forehead. I didn't feel right.

Suddenly, the memories came flooding back to me, of the Spy, and the base... and my death. So that's why I didn't feel right.

I opened my eyes, slowly taking in the area around me. I didn't see anything until I looked down. There was castle, and a large, expansive village below me. Trees dotted the landscape to the North and to the West, and a large, open plain stretched out under me.

Wait, UNDER?

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Twilight suddenly awoke, startled by the noise of something nearby. "What the..."

It sounded like a stallion was screaming about something, but the noise was getting louder...

She wiped the weariness from her eyes, just to make sure that she wasn't imagining it.

"Spike?"

"Huh... Wh-what? Oh... Yeah, Twilight?"

"Do you hear that?"

He looked at her confusedly, until a pang of realization struck him like a truck. "Oh! Yeah, I do! What is it?"

She bolted up from her bed to a nearby window, and began searching for the source of the noise. "I think somepony's in trouble!"

"Wait, seriously?" He got up from his bed, ready for action. "We gotta-"

Something flew by the window, heading downward at an alarming pace.

"-woah! Somepony just fell by the window!"

I groaned as the thorns in the bush stung at my sides. It may have cushioned my fall, but it still hurt like hell. I looked to my sides, checking for anything else that might end up hurting me, and slowly got up from the bush. I stood up next to it, observing the landscape. There were a massive amount of trees in the distance, and a large, expansive plain in front of me. To my side, there was a large town with thatch roof buildings, and behind me, there was a massive, towering castle. I turned around to face it, witnessing the indent that I had left from my fall in the bush.

"Oh my gosh, are you alright?" a feminine voice said.

When I turned back around, I had to grab the bush to stay balanced. There was a pony. With wings. And a horn. Staring at me. With big beady eyes.

"Good God... I've died and gone to hell."

Author's Note

And that's that. We'll be diving more into the conflict of the story in the following chapters, exploring the Sniper's perspective more in-depth, and giving him more character as the whole thing goes on.

Criticism is encouraged. I'd rather write a good story than a bad one.

How's about ya call it a day?

Author's Note

This chapter was a real b:yay:h to write. This went through an entire 3 rewrites before it was ready. Yikes.

Anyways, enjoy.

I'm contemplating adding the Comedy tag to this story. Thoughts?

How's about ya call it a day?

"Wait, dead? Hell?" Her wings flared a little. "What is that supposed to-"

"I died. Now I'm here." I said flatly.

She gave me a skeptical look. "Uhh... I'm not sure how that makes any sense." She paused, putting a hoof to her chin. "For one, you-"

"Alright, look, I don't need to hear the bloody logistics," I interrupted. "I don't get it either. I died, and I fell from the sky into your bushes."

She looked concerned all of a sudden. "Wait, does that mean you don't have anywhere to sleep?"

I stared back at her.

"Do you think... I coul-"

"Just take me inside already."

A scowl briefly crossed her face. "...Fine."

The pony opened the colossal castle doors to reveal a grand, open space of blue and purple crystals. It was quite exquisitely designed, looking almost like a palace as she led me through it.

"So this here's all yours?"

"Yep! I didn't build it, though. It just kind of appeared."

"Kind of appeared?"

She frowned. "Well, yeah. After I lost my old house in a battle, this one replaced it as my castle." She looked around melancholically. "It took some getting used to, but it's home now."

"Still don't explain how this thing just up and built itself."

Her head sank a little in frustration. "It's a long story."

All of a sudden, I heard the pitter patter of little footsteps echo down the expansive hallway. I turned around, stepping towards a T-Section in the hallway that we had just passed. The pony followed close behind me.

All of a sudden, something green, purple and scaly came out from around the corner.

"Hey, Twilight!"

"AH!" I jumped in surprise as he rounded the corner just a little too quickly, scaring the life out of me in the process.

"Woah!" He stopped for a second to look at me. "Who's this?" he said, pointing.

Guess she's 'Twilight' then. Twilight looked at me, and back to the lizard thing.

"Spike, this is..." A pang of realization hit her. "Oh, I'm sorry, I never got your name!"

"Just... call me Sniper, please." I'd rather not use my real name here.

"Sniper, okay!" She turned back to 'Spike.' "This is Sniper. He was the guy we saw through the window, remember?"

"Oh yeah! The guy who was screaming!"

I grumbled in annoyance.

"Hey, uh, nice to meet you! I'm Spike; I'm a dragon."

"Dragon?"

"Baby dragon," Twilight corrected.

He grumbled in annoyance.

We started walking again, back en route to our destination. "So... what kinda dragon stuff can ya do?"

He smirked and spoke confidently. "Dragon stuff? Well, I can breathe fire, and I'm really resistant to heat! I can't fly though, since, y'know..." He turned to show me his back. "...no wings."

Twilight smiled, rolling her eyes.

"Oh hey, we're here!" She pointed to a door in the hallway and trotted toward it.

"Alright." I followed after her.

She opened the crystal door of the room, revealing what looked to be a tiny shelving area turned into a guest room. The shelves lined 2 opposing walls, and a bed sat neatly in the corner. Accompanying it were a nightstand and dresser, complete with a mirror, a candle, and some matches. Oil lanterns were strewn about the walls, and a lone window let moonlight seep into the room, illuminating it nicely.

"This is a shelving area that we turned into a guest room," she explained. "Is this good?"

I took another look around. "It's not much..." I walked over to the bed, pressing my hand against the surprisingly well-made mattress. "...but it'll do. I've certainly slept in worse."

"Alright!" She smiled. "If you need anything, I'll be upstairs. The room I'm in should be obvious."

Not sure what she means by obvious... guess I'll find out eventually.

She yawned and stretched. "Come on Spike, let's get back to bed." She turned around. "Oh, and tomarrow morning, meet us in the kitchen. It's downstairs to the left." They walked out and closed the door.

About an hour later, I heard the most ungodly sound. Someone snoring, really, really loudly. Okay, I get what she means now. I covered my ears with my pillow.

I woke up the following morning, stretched, and wandered for a bit, finding the kitchen.

I stumbled in with a tired air about me, seeming to drag down everybody else in the room, or perhaps it was because one of them dropped what they were doing to stare at me. I raised an eyebrow, eyeing the pink and purple pony sitting alongside Twilight and at the table.

"Twilight, who's this?" she said.

"This is Sniper, the guest I was telling you about," she explained. "Have a seat, Spike's almost done with the pancakes."

I sat down in one of the chairs on the opposite side.

She looked back to me. "When you said he was 'nothing like I'd ever seen before,' I didn't think you really meant it. Wow."

"Oh, I'm reeeal unique, sheila. Just you wait and see," I said, half-jokingly, half-angrily.

Her gaze turned remorseful. "Oh, s-sorry, I didn't mean to offend you or anything."

I changed disposition. "Naw. You're fine."

Twilight gave her a subtle smile.

I placed my head in my hand and my elbow on the table and looked out the far window. Thatched roof buildings were visible close by each with a mostly uniform building style, except for a select few which stood out more than the others. I took my head off my hand and casually gestured over to it. "Say, where are we right now?"

"Ponyville." She looked over to the window, and back at me. "It's not a very big place."

Real creative bunch, these folk. "Doesn't look too big either." It was really quite contained, spanning out what could've been only a handful of miles without including the farms in the local area.

"Pancakes are ready!"

Spike came out of the kitchen holding a platter of pancakes with syrup and butter for those who were so inclined. He set it on the table and seated himself.

"Now, before we all eat, I wanted to quickly go over some things." Spike stopped reaching for pancakes. "Sniper here is going to be staying with us for a while. He doesn't seem to know why he's here, so we're all going to give him some hospitality until he can fix his displacement issue. We should probably all introduce ourselves to him. I'm Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship, and this is my assistant, Spike. You've met both of us already." She gestured to the pony next to her. "This is Starlight Glimmer, she's a friend of ours and my personal student."

"Pleasure to meet you," she sheepishly said.

"And lastly, I would like to personally welcome you to Equestria, Sniper."

"Uh, 'ppreciate it."

I looked over to Spike. He was practically jumping in his seat.

"Okay Spike, you can eat now."

"Thank Celestia." His relief was almost palpable as he dug into his pancakes.

I reached for some pancakes and grabbed a dollup of butter. I took a fork and dug in. As I was about to start eating, Twilight spoke.

"Oh, and, by the way, later today, I wanted to take you to meet some of my friends."

"...Wait, what?"

"I'll explain later."