A Royal Conquest

You sat in your chair chewing your pencil and reading the latest report from the R&D department. You really had to end your habit of doing the former. Suddenly, you were interrupted by inarticulate yelling. This couldn't be good in a chemical plant. You dropped the report and pencil and bolted to find out what as going on.

The noise was coming from the canteen. Thank Celestia. The most dangerous thing there was the cook's cabbage soup. The yelling was coming from the coffee machine. A crowd of your employees had gathered around it. "Let me see what's going on." The crowd made way for you.

The source of all that ruckus was revealed. Obviously the coffee machine wasn't the source of the screaming. After Discord was defeated, no coffee machines had ever gained sentience. The source was a green, red haired mare with dreadlocks which had chained herself to the machine and was screaming her lungs out. You looked her straight in her eyes. They were red and angry. You stomped your hoof as hard as you could. "EY" you shouted with all your voice, drowning her out. This clearly scared her for a moment, long enough for you to get start something resembling a civilized conversation.

"Lady, what are you doing?"

"I'm stopping you from raping the Earth by preventing you from using your machines of destruction!"

"That's the coffee machine. We usually don't do production in the canteen." you informed her.

"You... I knew that!"

"Do you actually know what goes on here? What we produce? How we deal with side streams?"

"All I need to know is that you're polluting mother Earth!"

"Look, if you want to know more about this plant, come during the open day. We'll give you a tour and put all your fears..."

She spat in your face. "....to rest." She had quite the range, you had to admit. You pulled out a napkin and wiped your face clean of her spit. You looked at your fastest delivery pony who was conveniently right next to you. "Wind Whirl, get a pair of pliers as fast as you can. It's about time Misses' visit here came to an end."

"Right on!" he saluted you and left at his ludicrous speed.

You looked at the crowd. You selected the strongest stallions among them. "Mountain, Vice Grip, Decanter, stand with me. I might need your help if she needs convincing to leave." Mountain and Vice Grip were your other delivery ponies. Decanter worked in the analysis lab but had the same body type as them. The crowd stepped aside as they stood next to you. Any one of you could have dragged her out, but why give yourself or them a hard time? She had somehow tangled herself like cheap earphones in a pocket after a jog and could barely move. You could also have used her like a pinata for spitting in your face, if you were that petty. Luckily for her, you weren't.

Wind Whirl returned with the pliers. Fittingly, he made a gust of wind when to announce his entry.
"Here you go, boss!"

"Thank you. Fast as always." Wind Whirl lived on compliments so his face lit up like a firework. You walked up to chained mare and cut her loose. Then you rejoined your little army.

"So, are we going to just walk out like a good little pony or do we have to drag you out?"

For a moment, the mare was filled with doubt. But then she lifted her head proudly and defiantly and made a hoof movement indicated she wanted to charge you.

"Oh, for fuck's sake! Aren't you hippies supposed to be pacifists? Let's just grab her and throw her out, boys."

As you and your comrades in arms grabbed hold of her, miss eco-terrorist quickly found out that passion was a poor substitute for size and strength. "No need to hurt her, just get her out of here." She was in a frenzy and desperately struggled to break free. It didn't matter. In a few moments, she was out of the door where you and your helpers threw her on the pavement.

"And stay out!"

The next day your work was interrupted by your secretary coming into your office. "Letter from princess Celestia."

Well, that was unexpected. "Maybe her grace wanted to become pen palls." You smirked at your own bad joke. "Give it here. Thank you, Paper Pusher."

You opened it, leaned back in your chair and started reading. "Miss Tree Hugger summons you to court on charge of pollution and assault and battery. Her Royal Highness Princess Celestia will judge your guilt or innocence."

You pressed a button on the intercom. "Paper Pusher, cancel all my appointments for Friday, I'm going to Canterlot."