Farmers and Fashionistas: The Fuck-Off

"I still can't believe that happened...and I still want to know how they knew I was on a date tonight. Things were going well! Roseluck seemed to be enjoying herself, she was having fun. But that note, that...that letter the waiter brought me. Roseluck wasn't too happy to see that. I mean, I'm not seeing anyone! You of all ponies know that, Rarity. But that letter said I shouldn't be on that date if I was already committed to somepony," Anonymous said, sharing a bit of ice cream with his marshmallow colored friend. His jacket lay slung over the arm of the couch, tie undone and joining it, shoes at the door. Rarity, meanwhile, was in naught but her bathrobe, a towel holding her mane beneath its folds. She took a bite of ice cream and nodded along to Anon's telling of the night's events, though she knew very well what had happened. "I just...I don't know why somepony would do that to me. That's seriously messed up." Her face faltered just a bit at that, but she put on her most genuine of fake smiles and reached a hand out to touch upon his.

"Well, Anon, sometimes weird or bad things happen to good ponies for good reason. I, personally, don't think Roseluck was that into you. I know you felt a sense of connection, since she was your savior of sorts, but I feel she was more into your body than you as a...person, I suppose. You know, since you're not a pony and all. In fact, just the other day I had heard her talking with her sisters about this very thing! How she was so excited to be with an alien and how she'd tell them all about what you were like in the bedroom," Rarity went on to reply, giving his hand a soft little squeeze before pulling away. Pace yourself, dear. He isn't yours yet. She took another bite of her ice cream and let out a quiet yawn, stretching all the while. "I apologize for being such a terrible hostess, but really, I am getting quite tired."

Anon perked up a bit at that, taking a larger scoop of ice cream and wolfing it down, as it seemed to be his last for the night. "Well, thanks for everything you've done for me today, Rares. The suit is nice- and I'd still be more than happy to pay for it! And the company is nice, too." He paused, giving a soft sigh. It gets kind of lonely, being the only human around and having exactly one pony show any romantic interest in you. I just don't want to be alone much longer...ya know?" The human gave another sigh and set the lid back onto the ice cream, shaking his head a bit. "I dunno. I'm a bit depressed over this evening and not really thinking clearly. Like I said, thank you, Rarity. I'll see you another time, hm?" With that, he stood to put the ice cream away, but a furred grip had caught his wrist. He turned to look down at her.

Rarity thought for a moment, clearing her throat before she spoke. "Anon? Anon, Darling...please, just...wait a moment. You know...there isn't just one pony with interest in you. I can think of someone very near and dear to you that you wouldn't consider," she said, helping him to sit back down. She scooted over, her hip nearly touching his. "Really, I think you haven't considered all of your options. A failed date with one pony isn't the end of the world, and shouldn't be the end of your love life. I know how loneliness is, Anon. I may have quite a few friends, but I am single, myself," she admitted, eyes turned away from him and hands holding her own ice cream.

For all things Anon wasn't, "stupid" was not on the list. He caught on pretty quickly. "I see..." he began, trailing off, considering what this all meant for him. Something dawned on him, however, his brow raising as the realization hit him like a ton of diamond-studded bricks. "Rarity...did you- mmnf!" He was cut off by a set of lips, a light gray in contrast to her white coat. Her palm came to sit upon his face, the hard, hoof-ed fingertips an odd sensation on his cheek. Rarity's eyes were closed, but before she could attempt to deepen the kiss, the man denied her and stood suddenly.

"Darling? Is everything alright? Was I not fast enough for you?" she said, a sultry grin coming to join her now half-lidded bedroom eyes. "Be a dear and tell me what it is you want, hm?"

Anon was fuming. The touching, the state of near undress, how often she brushed against him when they sat. The note. It all came together. He knew that handwriting looked familiar! "I can't believe you, Rarity! You wrote that note, didn't you? You set this whole thing up! I knew there was a reason you didn't want to discuss the date, give me tips on what to do. You wanted me for yourself, didn't you? Didn't you?! Don't give me that look!" he began to ramble, looking down upon her with her heartbroken and terrified gaze looking back up at him. "Element of generosity, my ass. I can't believe you, Rarity."

She was sniffling now, a hand coming to wipe the growing tears from her face. Her eyes turned back to the floor, a slow nod coming from her head. "Yes, Anon...y-yes, I did it. I set the whole note thing up. But...but I did it for you! Roseluck is no good. She...she isn't the mare I am! She's not an element of harmony! She's a florist, not a clothes designer! She can't take care of you like I can! I promise, Anon, I was only doing what was best for you...for us! Can't you see I only had the best intentions?" she said, dropping from the couch and kneeling by him, her arms coming to wrap around his leg in a tight hug. The tears flowed freely now, but if his softened gaze was anything to go by, she knew she was finally getting her way. Just hold on, Rarity. You can do this. "P-please, Anon...can't you ever forgive me?" she asked him, peeking up and hoping beyond hope he'd answer in the affirmative.

Anon stared down at her, hard, considering his answer, watching her weep against his now wet knee. "...ugh. Fine," he started after a long pause, reaching for her shoulder to drag her off his leg. "I can't hate you. That's not part of my nature. But it's still going to take me a long while to get over what you've done, and I don't think Roseluck will be too happy with what happened. I don't even know if she'll let me talk to her now. You've ruined two good friendships tonight, Rarity, and I hope you know that both are going to take a long, long time to repair. I'm going home. I hope you're happy with what you've done tonight. Goodnight, Rarity." With that, he made sure she was completely detached before turning for the front door. Rarity watched after him, sitting on her floor, moving for the ice cream. She felt she might need a little bit more yet.