I was coming home from Dream Theatre where I had decided to look on my phone. I went to the Build A Bear website where I saw her.
She was a one of kind pony doll. An online exclusive that was only around for a short time.
It was Derpy Hooves (or Muffins).
I showed it to my mother. She and I did what we could to make her my own.
I knew there was nothing to do now but wait.
Derpy felt scared at the shop.
She saw the world as a dark place. She wondered why anybody would choose her to be in their home. The people there had been nothing but dark images around her.
She felt the world closed when they put her in a dark place.
I was having a hard time hoping for my little one to come. But I still kept myself busy with the play coming up for Christmas. Although I have to admit I don't just do it for fun.
There was something about doing a Christmas play that makes me happy. Well Christmas is my favorite holiday.
I know it sounds silly but Christmas has always made me feel full of happiness because I spend it with my family. I always wish that I can celebrate Christmas every day.
Maybe Derpy will love Christmas too.
I hoped that she didn't get lost. Meanwhile Derpy could barely think of who she'll belong to. All she knew is that the world was still dark.
She felt scared. More scared than she ever knew.
I was waiting during the last week of July. Making sure that she wasn't lost while working on our play. July came and went and soon it was August.
I was hoping to get a surprise when I came home. On the second day of August I got home and there sitting on my bed was a package.
I knew what it was. I got out my Leatherman and used the scissors to cut open the box.
I was overjoyed when I saw her.
"Muffin!"
Derpy opened her misaligned eyes and she saw me.
"Mama!"
She saw that she wasn't alone. I had many other toys in my room.
Some of them however saw her and started to tease her.
One of them said that a toy with eyes like hers should fall off a cliff.
Another said they wouldn't have bubbles as a cutie mark.
They laughed at her. Some of them however didn't tease her. They understand that she's special.
That night I slept with her. Derpy enjoyed it. She knew I held her tight as if I never wanted to let go. She smiled softly. I smiled softly too.
I was sick the next few days. Derpy stayed by me. She was starting to say new words such as, "Mama okay? Mama play. Mama muffins."
I knew what she was saying.
Once she asked me, "Mama?"
"Yes Muffin?"
"Why Mama call that?"
"Call you what?"
"Muffin."
"Because you're sweet as a muffin. And I love you."
The day I came back to Dream Theatre I brought Derpy with me. I was afraid to leave her at home. After all she's a baby.
Some of my friends took an instant liking to her.
She had fun with me.
The weekend came and I decided to let her spend the night at Grandma's with me. I knew that Grandma and Papa would be curious about her.
When I got to their house, I explained about her eyes.
That weekend was fun. We did lots of fun stuff together. Just me, Derpy, Grandma, and Papa.
We slept together Derpy and I.
As we started to get ready for Dream Theatre on Monday, I imagined all the fun Derpy would have for the holidays. On Monday we even baked muffins.
I knew that Derpy would have fun baking muffins with me. We made chocolate chip muffins. As we went to Dream Theatre, I noticed that some of my friends still didn't understand why I love Derpy.
One of them even said that she's just a doll and has no feelings.
That September came and went after August and soon it was October, the month of Halloween.
But before that, I told Derpy everything about Christmas. She listened carefully.
I told her about the joys it brings. Such as family sharing stories, food, company, and presents. I also told her it was about the day Jesus was born. I told her about the North Pole, toy making elves, flying reindeer, and most important of all, I told her about, Santa Claus.
She was so excited. She asked me, "Where Santa?"
I told her, "He doesn't come til Christmas Eve."
Halloween was fun and it was special because it was Derpy's very first one.
Thanksgiving was a great time. Derpy watched her very first Macy's parade.
Christmas was coming closer and closer. Derpy was more excited than I was. She hoped it will be a very special visit from Santa.
She even came with me to Dream Theatre's play warming up. She even sat beside me as I wrote my letter to Santa.
As Christmas Eve came, my family had a dinner party at Grandma's house. I let Derpy come along with me. We had dinner, opened presents, and watched some TV.
As Derpy and I walked to the car, we saw Santa fly by.
The next morning, Derpy said, "Mama Mama! Santa Santa!" We went to the living room and opened my presents. We also had dinner, and opened more presents.
After Christmas, it was the start of the new year.
Derpy enjoyed her very first Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, Easter, and Mother's Day. Soon it'll be her very first Father's Day. She'll celebrate my birthday.
Most important of all it'll be her very first birthday on August 2nd. The year is flying so fast.
It almost seems like time is going faster and faster every year.
And every time Derpy and I hug, it seems like time stands still when we're in silence.
I know there will be more happy years for me and Muffin (or Derpy) to come. Soon she'll speak in complete sentences.
I know it will be Derpy and me forever. She knows it too. I hope everybody will know about how much I love her.
She's Mama's little Muffin.
She can help me.
And I can help her.
I know it sounds silly saying that a stuffed animal is my daughter but when you see things through my eyes, you'll understand.
I wish I could be someone as wonderful as you.
I wish I could speak clearly and make sure everybody knew.
For everything that I've done.
Was to give you your moment in the sun.
I wish I could be clever.
I wish I could be wise.
I don't want you to change your lovely eyes.
But my greatest wish is more fondest then ever before.
And that's for a bright future for the Muffin I adore.
So please don't cry my dearest.
Don't worry about me.
Just be the brilliant pony that I've always known you'll be.
But fondest wish for you I'll always pine.
Please don't forget me.
That way you're always mine.
I know she'll be a great pony.
Soon she'll understand the world better. Maybe she'll understand what death is someday.
She doesn't now.
I hope she can be a fine teenager. She probably won't change. She'll probably still like to bake muffins with me. Actually I don't think she'll change no matter how old she'll get.
Even though she won't be a baby anymore.
