Turkey Bacon Club

Chapters

Six Degrees of Princess Bacon
These Bacon Wings
Bacon Greased
Bacon Up Is Hard To Do
Achy Bacon Heart
Bacon Call
Bacon Butter
Don't Go Bacon My Heart
Bacon'sTrips

Six Degrees of Princess Bacon

Author's Note

Didn't mention this last chapter and it's irrelevant now since the edits to the previous chapter, but I want to say it here just in case:

As far as I'm concerned, "A Flurry of Emotions" is a misplaced season six episode. Flurry can't be more than six or seven months old at best in that episode for Cadance and Shining Armor to be that frazzled, but roughly a year passes per season give or take a couple of months. So AFoE happens at some point during season six, but just wasn't in the show until later.

Six Degrees of Princess Bacon

"Come on, Trixie," Starlight wheedled with a roll of her eyes. "Be nice."

Trixie sighed and looked up. "Sorry," she grumbled. "It's just...where'd Twilight dig up another alicorn?! I mean...just a few years ago there was one alicorn in all of Equestria. ONE!" Trixie threw her hooves up. "Then Luna came back, then Twilight, and then Flurry was born, and now this, and there's what..."

"Six including Sunset Shimmer," Maud said in a bored tone. "Also, you forgot about Princess Cadance being around before Princess Luna returned."

Trixie rolled her eyes. "Oh, like most ponies outside of Canterlot even knew she existed..."

"That's true," Starlight pointed out. "I mean, first I ever heard of her was the wedding announcement in the Canterlot Sun Times."

"The point is," Trixie said loudly, "where'd this NEW alicorn even COME FROM?!"

Sunset started to explain, paused, then looked at Starlight. Starlight smirked. "Okay, Trixie, you know that mirror up on the fourth floor? The one Twilight told us we're not supposed to go anywhere near without her permission?"

Trixie frowned. "The one with all that junk hooked up to it?"

"Right," Starlight said. "Thing is, that mirror's a portal to a parallel dimension. Kind of...kind of an alternate Equestria. There's, well...there's an alternate version of pretty much everypony here there, except they're not ponies. They're some other species that doesn't even exist here. Also, they have science and technology instead of magic."

Trixie contemplated this. "Huh. That's...weird." She tilted her head. "You sound as if you've been there," she added slowly.

"Well...yeah," Starlight admitted. "Twilight invited me and a couple other friends to that other world a while back."

"And...and you didn't invite me?" Trixie asked, her eyes shining with dramatic tears. "Or even tell me about it?"

"It was right after we first met!" Starlight retorted. "I didn't know you that well yet! Besides, I...at the time, I thought it was..." She shuffled her hooves sheepishly. "Maybe...kind of a...secret?"

"Oh," Trixie said. She pouted, but relented. She glanced at Sunset. "I'm guessing she's telling me this now because that's where you came from?"

"Yeah," Sunset said. "Well...yes and no. Actually, I was born here in Equestria. And, umm...the alicorn thing is kinda new." She glanced at one of her wings. "I mean, I'm a unicorn. Well, used to be a unicorn. Was born a unicorn."

"Uh-huh," Trixie said slowly. "So you just randomly sprouted wings the second you returned to Equestria?"

"Kinda, yeah," Sunset said. "I mean, I'd have to talk to Twilight to figure out how and why I'm an alicorn now, let alone what triggered this, but when I left Equestria, I was a unicorn." She shrugged.

"I see," Trixie said. "And you left Equestria...why?"

Sunset cringed. "I was...I was banished from Canterlot Castle," she said. "I used to be Princess Celestia's student. Before Twilight. Only I...kinda let my arrogance and my ambition get the better of me, ticked Celestia off, stole forbidden magic books I wasn't meant to read, got banished, beat up the castle guards, and escaped through the mirror into the human world. Where...where I've been living ever since." She paused. "Oh, and I might've sort of tried to steal Twilight's crown a few years ago to use her Element of Harmony to attempt a coup of Equestria, accidentally turned myself into a literal demon, got my butt handed to me by the human versions of Twilight's friends, and..." She took a deep breath. "Now they're my friends and I'm in a better place and I really, really hate the way I used to be." She scuffed a hoof across the floor. "So...yeah..."

"Basically, she's the same as you and me," Starlight said. "Except her problem was with Princess Celestia, not Princess Twilight. Twilight just...kinda got dragged into the middle of it, and reformed her and they're friends now."

Trixie blinked. "Oh," she said. "Wow. I miss so much of what goes on around here."

"I do too," Maud said. "But I hear all about it from Pinkie Pie." She looked at Sunset Shimmer. "What are the rocks like in your world?"

Sunset blinked. "Umm...they're...rocky?"

"Cool."

Starlight coughed. "So anyway, yeah, I spent a weekend at Sunset Shimmer's place in the other world. It's pretty interesting, though it was really weird running into hairless lemur versions of Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash and all the others."

"Hairless lemur?" Trixie asked, her muzzle crinkling in confusion.

Starlight shrugged. "That's what they look like to me," she said. "Only...taller, and with manes like ours and...hmm." She looked up at the ceiling in thought. "And they wear lots of clothes and have...umm...stuff going on with their..." She coughed. "Teats and...and stuff."

Sunset cleared her throat. "Yyyyyeah...let's not confuse the issue with a really confusing attempt to describe human anatomy, okay?" She shook her head. "The point is, it's an alternate world that only has whatever magic crossed into it from Equestria, there's alternate universe counterparts of lots of ponies you'd see here, and technology is super advanced."

Trixie raised an eyebrow. "Ponies liiiiike...me?"

Sunset rolled her eyes. "Yeah, there's a Trixie there."

"I see," Trixie said. "Is she...grrrrrrrreat and powerful?"

"Eh...I know she does some illusions, but I've never actually seen her act," Sunset said. "I do know she's an okay singer and not a bad guitar player, but she's nowhere near as good as Rainbow Dash."

Trixie considered this. "Guitar player, huh?" Her brow furrowed. "Well, I suppose an alternate Trixie could conceivably have an alternate talent." She shrugged. "Eh. As long as she puts on a good show, I guess."

"Well, she made it into the semifinals of the CHS Battle of the Bands," Sunset said with a shrug.

"Say," Trixie said slowly, looking at Sunset curiously. "If you used to be totally evil, but Twilight reformed you and now you're an alicorn..." She looked at Starlight thoughtfully, a slow grin spreading across her face. "What do you think, huh? Princess Starlight and Princess Trixie?"

Starlight laughed. "I don't think so," she said. "Something tells me there's more to it than just turning over a new leaf. Besides, with my track record, I...don't think me having alicorn magic would be, y'know, a good idea. At all."

"Hmm. You have a point," Trixie said. "I mean, normally I get a kick out of hearing about all the chaos you cause with your horn, but that little stunt you pulled in Canterlot even scares me."

"What stunt?" Sunset asked.

Starlight paled. "Oh. Well. Umm." She coughed. "The Cutie Map summoned me to Canterlot to solve a friendship problem. It turned out the problem was with, well...the Royal Sisters."

"Celestia and Luna?" Sunset snorted. "Doesn't surprise me. Their human counterparts get a little snippy with each other from time to time."

"Yeah, well, they were both...feeling kinda neglected by each other," Starlight said. "And it was getting pretty...tense. So I confronted them about it, and they started arguing, and it got out of control and I..." She trailed off, fidgeting with her hooves.

Trixie snickered. "She swapped their Cutie Marks," she said.

Sunset's eyes bugged out. "YOU DID WHAT?!"

Starlight flinched. "I...I switched their Cutie Marks," she said.

Sunset's wings flared out. "You...assaulted...the DIARCHS OF EQUESTRIA?!"

"Not assaulted!" Starlight said heatedly. "I just...I just maybe kinda forced them to take each other's place for a day? Anyway, it worked out in the end. They both realized the other one had a tougher job than they thought, and they made up and everything's great again. No chance of another Nightmare Moon or Daybreaker happening."

"Daybreaker?"

"Apparently that's what Princess Celestia would call herself if she snapped and turned evil," Maud said dispassionately.

Sunset reared in alarm. "PRINCESS CELESTIA TURNED EVIL?!"

"Not really!" Starlight said frantically, waving her hooves. "It...it happened in a nightmare."

"Oh." Sunset calmed down. "Good. Still...just..." She shook her head. "I'm sorry, I'm having a hard time with this. You forced Princess Celestia and Princess Luna to switch special talents so they'd stop fighting, and not only are you not in Tartarus for an assault on the Royal Sisters, your crazy plan actually worked?!"

"Well...yeah?" Starlight offered hesitantly.

Sunset flopped bonelessly to the floor. "Did this whole world go completely crazy after I left?" she moaned.

"Babu, gigi, gahuu," Flurry Heart said, gliding over to Sunset and rubbing her cheek with tiny hooves.

Sunset chuckled. "Hey," she said, nuzzling Flurry. "Thanks. I needed that."

"Gaghoo."

"But anyway, yeah, Twilight's...still a little peeved at me for how that went down," Starlight said sheepishly.

A bright magenta flash lit up the library. "Starlight! I'm back!"

Everypony looked to where Princess Twilight Sparkle had just appeared, saddlebags slung over her back. She levitated them off and set them by the door, which opened to admit Spike. "How was everything with Flurry while I was gone?" Twilight asked.

"Fine, just fine!" Starlight said. "She...got plenty of exercise? Also, we have a guest."

"Oh?" Twilight asked.

Sunset sat up. "Hey Twilight," she said, smiling.

"Sunset Shimmer!" Twilight exclaimed with a happy gasp. "It's so good to see you! It's been so long!" Twilight moved to hug Sunset. Sunset returned the hug. "I had no idea you were coming!"

"I wanted it to be a surprise," Sunset said. She chuckled. "Ended up being a surprise for me when I got an alicorn baby right in my face." She tousled Flurry's mane, eliciting a giggle from the foal.

Twilight giggled. "Yeah, she does that," she said. "So how long are you here for?"

"Three days, if that's cool."

"Of course it's cool!" Twilight said. "We don't get to see each other nearly often enough! We have so much catching up to do! So much has happened here, and I can't wait to hear what you and my CHS friends have been up to, and wait a second why do you have wings? You didn't have wings the last time I saw you!"

"Yyyyeah about that," Sunset said as Twilight drew back, her jaw hanging open and her eyes wide. "It's...I was actually hoping you'd help me figure that one out, because I have no idea why I'm suddenly an alicorn."

"I bu—hizzawha...haaaaaaaa..." Twilight fainted dead away.

Spike snorted. "Seriously? This is worth fainting over?" He looked up at Sunset. "Congrats. I'll let Pinkie Pie know to throw you an alicorn party."

"Uhh...thanks, Spike," Sunset said. "How are you so calm about this?"

Spike shrugged. "You're basically a snarkier, less neurotic Twilight," he said. "The alicorn thing doesn't surprise me at all." He waddled over to the door. "Guess I'll go make snacks for everypony."

Twilight woke up, took a look at Sunset, let out a long whining-groaning-sighing sound, and fainted again.

Maud glanced at her. "They should really call you the Princess of Drama," she said.

These Bacon Wings

After another false start, which was met with an expression frozen halfway between annoyance and amusement from Sunset Shimmer, Twilight Sparkle finally managed to wake up without immediately fainting or freaking out as soon as she saw Sunset.

Well...for relative values of "freaking out".

"Gkkkkkkgaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah," Twilight uttered as she pointed a hoof at Sunset.

"Is that the face she was making when the Cutie Map summoned you?" Trixie asked, lazily filing her hooves.

"Yeah, pretty much," Starlight Glimmer said.

Sunset rolled her eyes, seized a newspaper from one of the reading tables, rolled it up with her magic, floated it over to Twilight, and firmly smacked her upside the head with it. "OW!" Twilight cried, eyes crossing as she shook her head.

Sunset smirked at her. "Back with us?" she asked.

Twilight closed one eye and rubbed her head. "Yeah, thanks," she said sourly. She looked at Sunset, her muzzle crinkling. "Uhh...congratulations?" she offered. "I...this is so weird..."

"Tell me about it," Sunset said, spreading her wings and studying them.

"How come you get gradiated feathers?" Twilight wondered. "I've just got plain old one-color feathers like Celestia and Luna."

"I dunno," Sunset said, shrugging. She glanced at Flurry, who was rocking back and forth on the floor and burbling. "Honestly, I thought that was just a Cadance thing."

"Well...yeah actually," Twilight said, pursing her lips. "And Flurry now." She shook her head. "Nevermind. That's nowhere near as important as why you're an alicorn in the first place!"

"Yeah, I was kinda hoping you'd help me figure that one out," Sunset said. She studied her wings. "I mean, this doesn't just happen."

"No kidding," Twilight said. "I had to go through one of the weirdest days of my life to..." She paused. "Well, no, that was just the end of the journey," she said, starting to pace. "Ever since she sent me to Ponyville in the first place, Princess Celestia had me learning all the lessons of friendship, all the things that it means to be a good friend. My friends and I represent the Elements of Harmony, and in the end, it was understanding those elements that...that gave me what I needed, that helped me to..." She gestured vaguely with a hoof. "To understand that my friends and I, together, are capable of anything. That with all of us together—"

"There's magic without end," Sunset finished with her, her eyes widening. "That's it," she said in a tone of wonder.

"What?" Starlight asked. "Did...did I miss something?"

Sunset looked at Twilight. "I think...I think I know how this happened," she said. "It...it must've been when I fought Midnight Sparkle."

"Midnight Sparkle?" everypony present asked. Except for Flurry Heart, who just made approximate noises.

Sunset started pacing. "The Twilight in my world made this...device, it started sucking up all the magic from me, my friends, the portal..." She waved her hoof around. "Her principal and her teammates egged her on, encouraging her to use it against us Wondercolts. She did, and it turned her into a monster...Midnight Sparkle. She started destroying everything in sight and tearing holes in reality. It looked...it looked bad." She paused. "But then I realized I was still connected to my friends, and my friends were still connected to the Elements of Harmony..." She looked at Twilight. "That the magic of friendship could never truly be taken away from them, because it's the qualities they possess—honesty, loyalty, kindness, generosity, laughter—that make us all special, that bring us together. I took the other Twilight's device and...and collected their magic and added it to my own, then..." She spread her wings wide. "I used it to become something equal to Midnight Sparkle, but filled with the magic of friendship. I was able to reason with her, to change her back..." She shook her head. "Well, you had to be there, but it was like looking into a mirror, seeing what I used to be, knowing that I'd come so far and learned how important friendship is."

"That's it," Twilight said, nodding thoughtfully. "That's how it happened. You connected with your friends' special magic in a way nobody else could. You became the focus of their strength...the six of you, united as one. Magic without end." She glanced at her own wings. "Yeah, that's...that's pretty close to how it happened for me. Except, you know, without the whole epic showdown with a reality-destroying monster." She laughed. "All I had to deal with was fixing my friends' Cutie Marks after I accidentally swapped them around..." She trailed off, glancing at Starlight Glimmer. Her ears folded down.

Starlight raised an eyebrow. "Oh really," she said. "Do tell."

"Aheheh..."

"So if you want to become an alicorn, I guess you need to make three more friends who are all different from each other," Maud said, glancing at Starlight. "Then cause or solve some kind of magical disaster."

"HEY! Don't encourage her!" Twilight said. "I mean, encourage her, but don't encourage her to cause some kind of disaster!"

"Yeah, she does that just fine all by herself," Trixie added, snickering.

Spike returned, pushing a cart loaded with plates of raw vegetables, chips, nuts, and various dips, as well as a pitcher of iced tea and several glasses. "Snack time!" he called. "So, did we figure out why Sunset's an alicorn yet?"

"Pretty much," Twilight said. "Though I'd like to run it by Celestia to see what she thinks."

"Check," Spike said, pulling out a roll of parchment and a quill. "Fire away!"

"Dear Princess Celestia," Twilight began. Sunset's eyes widened.

"Wait!" Sunset cried. "D-do you really...I mean..." She looked from Twilight to Spike. "W-we don't have to let her know, right? I mean—"

"Sunset, she needs to know," Twilight said gently. "Besides, I know for a fact she'd be happy to see you again, and probably excited to hear that you're an alicorn now!"

"I don't know if excited is the word I'd use," Sunset said, rubbing one fetlock with the other hoof and dipping her head.

"Sunset," Twilight said, tilting Sunset's head up to look her in the eyes. "It'll be okay. Trust me."

Sunset sighed. "A-alright," she said. "But...but let me write the letter, alright?" Turning to Spike, she added, "And I mean write it, not dictate it." She took the scroll and quill in her own magic and levitated it over.

As Sunset began to write, Trixie beckoned Starlight over. "I don't get it," she stage-whispered. "Why's she so scared of Princess Celestia?"

"You heard what she said earlier, right?" Starlight replied. "She didn't part with Princess Celestia on very good terms. I mean, this is Princess Celestia we're talking about here."

"Well, yeah, but she forgives anypony and everypony who does anything bad, right? I mean, you're here right now and not in Tartarus."

"Trying to write here," Sunset said testily.

"They have a point though," Spike said as he munched on a handful of nuts. "Don't sweat it. Princess Celestia isn't even mad at you. She's probably more mad at herself for driving you away."

"She really is," Twilight said gently. "The first thing she asked me when I came back from your world the first time was if you were alright. She cares about you."

"Oh," Sunset said quietly. She balled up the parchment she'd been writing on and summoned another from a stack of blank scrolls on a table, then started over.

Dear Princess Celestia,

On invitation from Twilight Sparkle, I returned to Equestria from the human
world for a weekend visit. When I arrived on this side of the portal, I dis-
covered I've become an alicorn. I was surprised, of course, but Twilight and
I talked it out and we think we've figured out how and why this happened.
We were hoping you'd come to Twilight's castle, listen to our theory, and
add your two bits. Also, I'd be very happy to see you again, as it's been
a very long time and there are things I need to say to you that I should say
in person.

I'll be in Ponyville for the next few days. I hope to see you soon.

Your former student,
Sunset Shimmer

After checking it over, Sunset rolled it up, sealed it, and floated it over to Spike, who sent it on its way to Canterlot. Letting out a deep, shaky breath, she trotted over to the snack table and helped herself to some celery.

"You know," Twilight said thoughtfully, "maybe she can tell you something about those geodes you and the girls found a while back. The ones you mentioned to me?"

"Maybe," Sunset said as she dipped her celery in a bowl of ranch and took a huge bite. "I think I've more or less figured that one out on my own, though."

"Really?" Twilight asked.

"Mm-hmm," Sunset said. "Except for the part about how they got there, I pretty much figured out what they are."

"And that is...?"

Sunset swallowed. "Our world's Elements of Harmony."

Twilight nodded slowly. "That...sounds about right." She crunched down on some chips, then added, "But still—"

A golden flash filled the room. Princess Celestia appeared, wings spread wide. As the light from her teleportation faded, she looked around wildly. Her eyes locked on Sunset Shimmer and widened. Without a word, she rushed forward, sweeping Sunset into a broad, feathery hug and nuzzling her. After a long moment, she stepped back, tears in her eyes and a smile on her face, and looked Sunset up and down. "Look at you," she said, her voice hitching. "I'm so very proud of you, Sunset."

Sunset shuffled her hooves, ducking her gaze. "I don't deserve it," she said.

"But you do," Celestia insisted. "Look how far you've come. How much you've grown and changed in such a short time!" She tilted Sunset's muzzle up with a hoof. "This would not have happened to you if you had not earned it." She tilted her head. "I believe you must have quite a story to tell, yes?"

Sunset laughed shakily. "Y-yeah..."

* * * * *

The entire group of mares laid on plush velvet pillows, diminishing the snacks Spike had delivered. Flurry Heart roamed around the room, tugging on manes, tails, and ears for attention as Sunset told her tale. When she was finished, Celestia nodded. "Yes," she said thoughtfully. "I see. I believe the conclusions you and Twilight have drawn are correct. It would seem that drawing upon the magic of friendship to challenge this Midnight Sparkle did indeed provoke your ascension."

Sunset let out a heavy breath. "Well, it's nice to know how it happened," she said. "Although I guess it doesn't really matter since, heh...I'm not exactly planning to move back to Equestria."

Celestia sighed, her eyes sad. "I...suppose not," she said. "Though you would be very welcome if you chose to, you understand. But...I can understand why you would not wish to leave the life you've made for yourself, your friends..." She looked at Twilight and smiled wistfully. "A pony belongs with her friends, after all. Especially a Princess of Friendship, which...in a sense, is what you now have become." She drew herself up. "Just as Twilight Sparkle is the Princess of Friendship in Equestria, you are now the Princess of Friendship in your world."

Sunset bowed. "I'm honored." She chuckled. "Though the title won't have as much, well, meaning there as it does here."

"Oh, it's pretty hit-or-miss here too," Twilight said, rolling her eyes. "I can't even get a cab in Manehattan!" Everypony laughed.

"Well, if new alicorns keep coming out of the woodwork like they are lately," Trixie said, "it'll mean even less. I mean, are we shooting for a fourth pony tribe here, or what?"

"Alicorns were once quite numerous," Celestia said. "But that was long before Equestria. In a way, it is a relief to see my kind returning." She glanced at Flurry Heart. "And perhaps if my sister and I ever found time to find a special somepony, there would be a great many more alicorns," she added ruefully.

"Well Twilight's got plenty of time on her hooves," Starlight said with a teasing smirk. "I'm sure she could pop out a foal or two no sweat!"

"HEY!" Twilight cried, face flaming. Sunset snickered.

"Speaking of time, I must be going," Celestia said. "I will make a point of finding time to return before you leave, Sunset. We have a great deal of catching up to do."

"Yeah...I'd like that," Sunset said with a smile.

Celestia looked around the room, nodding to each pony and dragon present, then disappeared in a golden flash.

"So!" Sunset said. "How about this castle, huh?" She looked around with interest. "I gotta say, Twilight, you've got some pretty odd tastes."

Twilight let out a high-pitched, nervous giggle. "Well...I didn't exactly have any say in what this place looks like," she said.

"You think this is weird, you should see it from the outside," Trixie said.

"Come on, Starlight," Spike said. "Let's give Sunset the grand tour."

"Sure, why not," Starlight agreed, finishing off the last of the celery.

"Mind if we bring Flurry along?" Sunset asked. "She's so adorable!"

"Gababu," Flurry declared as Sunset levitated her onto her back.

"Sure, go ahead," Twilight said. "Just be careful, she's a little unpredictable."

"I'll go tell Pinkie Pie to set up the welcome back and congratulations on becoming an alicorn party," Maud said. "It'll be at Sugar Cube Corner at sunset." She paused, then added, "Because that's also your name."

"Sounds great," Sunset said.

"Well, I have important Trixie things to take care of," Trixie announced. "I will see you all at the party!"

"I'll just get a guest room ready for you while you're getting the tour," Twilight said. "And...I guess I'll clean up this mess too, give Spike a break for a change."

With that, everypony went their separate ways.

Bacon Greased

Sunset Shimmer, Twilight Sparkle, Starlight Glimmer, Trixie, and Spike headed into town as a group as dusk approached. Sunset cast a glance backwards at Twilight's castle, which glowed in all different hues in the fading light of day. "Man, I can't get over that," she said, shaking her head. "And you say it just grew that way?"

"Yep," Twilight said. "Near as I can figure, the chest my friends and I unlocked was actually a seed of the Tree of Harmony. It'd explain the Cutie Map and pretty much everything else about the castle."

They arrived at Sugar Cube Corner exactly at sunset. Sunset peered at the building, tilting her head. "Man, Equestrian architecture," she said with a snort. "I'd sort of forgotten how...unique it could get over here."

Twilight snickered. "Not that you see many places like this in Canterlot," she said, casually bumping her side against Sunset.

"Well, Pinkie certainly went all out with the decorations," Starlight observed. A banner was stretched across the street, lit up with red and yellow lights; it depicted Sunset Shimmer's Cutie Mark, and read "ALICORN SHOWER - ALL NIGHT TONIGHT!"

"Well, Sunset, ready to get crowned?" Twilight asked teasingly. Sunset shook her head and led the group into Sugar Cube Corner.

"Hi Sunset Shimmer, congratulations on becoming an alicorn!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed exuberantly. "Come on in, welcome! Head on over to the refreshment table! All the refreshments fit the theme of the party!"

"They do?" Sunset asked.

"Yep! We've got candy corn, popcorn, cornbread, corn cakes, corn on the cob, popcorn balls, caramel corn, aaaaaaaaand..." She darted her eyes left and right shiftily, then leaned in and whispered, "Corn whiskeeeeeeey. It's in the punch!"

The group blinked at that. "Sounds...corny?" Sunset offered.

"Enjoy!" Pinkie said happily, bouncing away.

Sunset rolled her eyes and chuckled. "That's Pinkie Pie alright."

"You know, this reminds me of the time I woke up in Fillydelphia with an ear of corn impaled on my horn," Trixie said.

Starlight raised an eyebrow. "How'd that happen?"

"You know, to this day I still don't have any idea?"

"You must've been trying to cast the Party Popper spell," Twilight said. "I, uhh...I spent a whole week trying to get that spell to work one time. After the fourth time I blacked out from it, Princess Celestia forbade me from trying again."

"Party Popper spell? I've never heard of it," Starlight said.

Sunset rolled her eyes. "I have," she said. "It's schmuck bait some smartalec came up with a couple generations back. It's a tradition at Celestia's school for the upperclassmen to leave the scroll with the 'spell' on it out where the new students can find it. They think it sounds like fun so they try to cast it." She shook her head. "Thing is, it's not even a real spell. You just end up knocking yourself unconscious from the feedback because you were dumb enough to stick an ear of corn on your horn."

Starlight giggled. "Wow, that is a mean prank."

"And I fell for it," Twilight said with a sigh. "Actually, until just now I thought it was a real spell. I just...never bothered trying to cast it again." Her cheeks burned. "Wow. Learn something new every day."

"So what's this spell supposed to do that makes unicorns so eager to cast it anyway?" Starlight asked.

"Well, it's supposed to be a party trick where you pop an entire ear of corn with your magic," Sunset said. "That's why everypony tries to cast it if they don't already know it's a trap."

Starlight frowned. "I'm no farmer, but wouldn't fresh corn just...burst?"

"I dunno," Sunset said. "Point is, it's a mean prank to pull on overeager foals." She glanced at Trixie. "And showoffs who should know better, apparently."

Before Trixie could retort, a squeal of feedback filled the room. Everypony turned to a makeshift stage, where Pinkie Pie was holding a microphone. "Good evening, Ponyville!" she shouted. "I'd like you all to give a warm welcome to the mare of the hour, Equestria's newest alicorn, Princess Sunset Shimmer! Come on up, Sunset!"

Blushing at the attention and the stomping of hooves, Sunset teleported onto the stage, smiling awkwardly as she looked out at the crowd of ponies. A lot of familiar faces were there, as well as many she didn't recognize. She took the microphone from Pinkie and cleared her throat. "Umm...hi," she said. "Thank you all. I...wow. I wasn't expecting any of this. I feel so honored." She ducked her head. "I don't really deserve this honor, so...don't feel like you have to make this all about me." She smiled brightly. "Everypony, just enjoy yourselves and have a good time. I'm happy to meet you if you wanna come up and, y'know, talk. Heh. So...okay! Back to partying?" Good-natured laughter and stomping of hooves answered her as she ducked into the crowd.

"That was a really moving speech," Maud Pie said dispassionately from beside Twilight.

As the party wore on, Sunset mingled, meeting pony versions of her classmates and a few of her teachers. She was especially thrilled to meet the pony versions of her friends, who assured her they forgave her for that little incident with Twilight's crown. They also expressed an interest in meeting their counterparts; Sunset hedged on that, saying she wasn't sure how great an idea it was and citing Twilight's own awkwardness around her human counterpart as an example. "But we'll see," she promised with a smile. "I mean, there's no reason not to, it's just...we'll see."

Pinkie Pie's corn whiskey punch livened things up; by midnight, the party had reached a level of raucous frivolity that Sunset had never seen before. The high point of the evening was when Discord showed up and, learning that the party was an "alicorn shower", made cotton candy clouds inside Sugar Cube Corner that rained marshmallows in the shapes of all the alicorn princesses. The marshmallows were able to trot, gallop, and fly on their own, of course, which made for an amusing and chaotic scene, especially with half the ponies present drunk. In Twilight's opinion, it was one of Discord's funnier pranks, even if it was disturbing watching Trixie cram hooffuls of Twilight-shaped marshmallows in her mouth.

When dawn arrived, however...

"Uuuuuuuugh," Twilight groaned as she opened her eyes, then immediately shut them tight again. The light of day was stabby and hurty and painful, and her head pounded like a bass drum.

Then she opened her eyes again, just a bit, and saw that there was an actual bass drum being pounded just inches away. A tiny one, strapped to Angel Bunny, who was marching back and forth across the marshmallow-and-confetti-strewn floor, wearing sunglasses and pounding away on the drum. Frowning, Twilight teleported the drum as far away as she could with her head hurting. Angel chittered reproachfully at her. She heaved herself to her hooves and snorted steam.

Then crashed back to the floor, moaning in agony.

All around the room, ponies were piled in unconscious heaps, splayed out on the floor snoring and drooling, or—in the case of Sunset, Trixie, and Starlight—huddled together in a corner, rocking back and forth and singing a melancholy ballad about a potato.

Twilight decided the less she knew about that, the better.

Maud Pie invaded her personal space. "That was some party, wasn't it," she said quietly, her eyes slightly bloodshot. "I got so drunk I made out with Bulk Biceps' nuts."

"GAH!" Twilight cried, shooting to her hooves in alarm. "Gaaaah," she then complained, massaging her head. She turned green. "Way more than I needed to know, Maud!"

Maud shrugged and trotted away, a bag of cinnamon nuts perched on her back. For some reason, the bag had a little tuxedo drawn on it.

Pinkie Pie trotted over, offering Twilight a cup of strong-smelling coffee and a sheepish smile. "Some party, huh?"

Twilight shook her head and groaned. "I don't even remember most of it," she mumbled.

"Yyyyyeah," Pinkie said, wincing. "I...think I learned my lesson about spiking the punch with corn whiskey." She shuddered. "Really did not need to see my sister making out with a nut sack..."

"GAH!" Twilight yelped again. She slammed back the cup of coffee, ignoring the burning in her mouth. She glanced over at the singing trio. "What's their deal?"

"Oh...you know...they bonded over being reformed villains," Pinkie said, waving a hoof. "I have no idea what's up with the potato song, though. That's random even by my standards."

Sunset, Trixie, and Starlight belted out one long, low, sorrowful note, then fell to the floor with a loud thwump, blissfully unconscious, hooves still around each other.

"Where's Spike?" Twilight wondered.

"Oh, he left early," Pinkie said. "Once everypony started getting weird, he decided he was better off back at the castle with Flurry Heart."

"Flurry!" Twilight exclaimed, shooting upright, her wings spread wide. "We just...we just left her there without a babysitter! Oh Celestia, Cadance is gonna kill me..."

"Chill, Twilight," Pinkie said with a smile. "I took care of it! I figured you might get overexcited and forget about that, so..."

* * * * *

"You know, I'm suddenly really glad we're too old to have kids," Cranky Doodle Donkey said. He and Matilda were covered in mashed peas and diapers. Some of them were even clean.

"That thing should be in a cage," Matilda said, eyes wide and shellshocked.

"Pssh. You just gotta know how to handle her," Spike said as he walked past, wearing a hazmat suit and carrying a large butterfly net, inside which was a giggling Flurry Heart.

Bacon Up Is Hard To Do

Equestria's newest alicorn awoke to find herself sprawled out in a pile of blankets that smelled like chickens, with two warm bodies pressed uncomfortably tightly to either side of her. Gingerly opening bleary eyes and wincing as the mother of all headaches assaulted her, Sunset Shimmer gradually took stock of her situation.

Somepony had dumped her, Starlight Glimmer, and Trixie in a wagon full of hay, with smelly blankets under them. "What the—?"

"Awake yet, sugarcube?" Sunset turned to see Applejack staring at her, a broad grin on her face.

Sunset shook her head. "AJ, what the hell—"

"Y'all was takin' a mite longer t' wake up than ever'pony else," Applejack said. "Twilight ain't up t' teleportin' nopony nowhere today, Mrs. Cake needed y'all outta Sugar Cube Corner so they could clean up, an' ever'pony else is busy cleanin' up Ponyville after last night's party got way outta hoof, so..." Applejack rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. "Twilight said t' jes' dump y'all in a wagon out back until y'all woke up."

Sunset gave her a flat stare. "Seriously?"

Applejack shrugged. "Ain't like nopony else had any better ideas. Weren't really noplace t' put a buncha drunk, silly—"

"Okay, okay, I get it," Sunset said, waving her off with a hoof.

"Ugh," Trixie complained as she woke up. "Where am I and why does it smell like frickin' chickens?" After a pause, she added, in a high, nasal tone, "Whyyyyyy am I in a smelly wagon with Starlight Glimmer and an alicorn I only just met?"

"Well, whatever we did," Sunset said with a smirk, unable to resist, "apparently the chickens didn't survive." At Trixie's horrified and nauseated expression, Sunset burst out laughing. "We passed out drunk at the party," she said. "They tossed us in a wagon out back to get us out of the way."

Trixie blinked at that. "How...considerate," she said sourly. She smacked her lips, then frowned. "Trixie's mouth is dry and tastes like...stale marshmallows..."

"Next time, don't spend all night eating Twilight Sparkle," Sunset said with as straight a face as she could manage.

Trixie glared at her. "Sunset Shimmer, has anypony ever told you you're absolutely demented?"

"It comes up from time to time," Sunset said wryly. With a strained groan, she levered herself out of the wagon, landing behind it on unsteady hooves. Looking around to make sure she had some privacy, she squatted down behind the wagon.

"Sunset Shimmer, what are you—are you peeing back there?!" Trixie shrieked.

"Well I'm damn sure not watering the grass," Sunset said.

"Just...but...UGH! That's disgusting!"

"Yeah, well, I hadda pee really bad, and I don't think I can make it to a toilet," Sunset replied as she trotted out from behind the wagon, using her magic to straighten her mane and tail.

Trixie started to protest, then stopped, frowning. "Fair point," she said as she, too, clambered out of the wagon and found a private spot to relieve her bladder.

"Morning Sunset! Morning Trixie!" Pinkie Pie called out cheerfully as she trotted up to the wagon. "Glad to see you're finally—" She paused, frowning as her nose wrinkled in disgust. "What smells like chickens and pee?"

"SHE DID IT FIRST!" Trixie proclaimed, pointing a hoof at Sunset. Sunset facehoofed.

"Good morning, Pinkie," Sunset said. "That was some party last night."

"Want some covfefe, jefe?" Pinkie Pie asked, offering Sunset a steaming mug. Sunset peered into it, her muzzle wrinkling; it smelled like coffee, only the smell was overpowering and a bit off; whatever it was, it was a murky orange color and looked slightly rancid.

"Uhh...no thanks?" Sunset said, backing away slowly.

Pinkie sighed. "Yeah...nopony ever wants covfefe," she said, carelessly tossing the stuff into the nearest bush.

It shriveled up and died instantly. Sunset stared at it. "Uhh..."

"Should...should we be worried that Starlight's still asleep?" Trixie asked.

"Oh, umm..." Pinkie shuffled her hooves. "I think she like, maybe drank a lot more than you two? So...maybe don't wake her up. I mean, you know what Starlight's first reaction to any situation is..."

Trixie grimaced. "Yes, let's...let's let her sleep."

"So," Sunset said, looking around, "this is Ponyville after an all-night bender, huh?" The town was, frankly, trashed; listless, restless ponies were shuffling around, not saying much to each other as they cleaned up the mess in the streets.

"Yeah, this is why we don't have all-night drunken parties all that often," Pinkie said, her ears pinned back. "I mean, especially not after that one New Year's party where DJ-P0N3 managed to get the whole town stoned on hendrix weed..."

Sunset blinked. "Wow."

Pinkie's ears perked up as the thud of of heavily-shod hooves on dirt road, accompanied by the heavy thump and creaking of a landing chariot, sounded nearby. Her head whipped around, and she espied two white-coated, gold-armored Pegasus Guards approaching, pulling a golden chariot. "Damn. The Hokuten!"

Sunset rubbed her eyes, ears folding down. "Huh? What—"

Pinkie Pie suddenly took off like a shot, calling back over her shoulder, "Don't blame me, blame yourself or Celestia!"

Sunset stared after her. "Uhh...wha—?"

"Your Highness," one of the guards said, drawing Sunset's attention. She turned around, blinking confusedly as she scanned the surrounding area.

"Twilight? I don't...I don't see her anywhere, but—"

"Not Princess Twilight," the other guard said. "You. Princess Celestia sent us to collect you and bring you to Canterlot."

Sunset blinked. "Oh. Umm..." She shook her head. "Sorry, I'm...I just woke up and I'm a little hung over and very confused. Why does Princess Celestia want me to come to Canterlot?"

The guards looked at each other uncertainly. "She didn't say," one said. "She only said to bring you to Canterlot, and that you will be free to return to Ponyville at dusk if you desire."

Sunset grimaced. "Uhh..."

"Go ahead, go," Trixie said, waving a hoof. "I'll let everypony know where you went."

"Thanks," Sunset said. She looked herself over, her nose wrinkling. "I'm kind of a mess, though. And...well, I smell like chickens and pee..."

"Her Majesty's summons was urgent," one of the guards said. "You can freshen up at the castle once we arrive."

"Well...okay." Still confused, Sunset climbed into the chariot; a minute later, they were off to Canterlot. Just as they took off, Sunset could see Starlight Glimmer stir from her slumber below.

* * * * *

Upon arriving at Canterlot Castle, Sunset Shimmer was set upon by a trio of maids, who whisked her away for a luxurious lavender bath, a thorough grooming, and fitting for an expensive silk gown. Bewildered, she suffered through it with all the grace and collected poise of a terrier being chased by a Roomba. Halfway through the fitting, Princess Celestia appeared. "Your Highness, what—what's going on here?"

Princess Celestia smiled. "Oh, just a little ceremony in your honor," she said. "Luna told me about the..." She smirked. "Party Ponyville threw you last night. But it just wouldn't do to not give you your proper dues here in Canterlot."

Sunset frowned. "What do you—"

The door opened, and three unicorns trotted in. Sunset's jaw dropped and her eyes widened. Her mouth suddenly felt dry, and it had nothing to do with the copious amounts of booze she'd chugged at the party.

The older of the two stallions had a pale yellow coat; his orange mane, styled in a Trojan mohawk, was shot through with silver and grey, and he'd grown a scrub of silvery-orange beard since Sunset had last seen him. The mare at his side, older than Sunset and with discernible laugh lines, had a burnt orange coat, a short dark red mane, and cream-white hooves.

The younger stallion's coat was almost the same color as Sunset's, but his hooves and a streak along his muzzle were the same cream-white as the older mare's. His bright red mane was wild and forward-swept; a chest-length tuft of beard hung from his chin, and round-rimmed glasses perched atop his muzzle. He wore a dark blue-green cape spangled with stars and fastened with a shiny crystal brooch.

Sunset shook her head in disbelief. "M-mom?! Dad?! Sunburst?!"

Sunburst smiled. "Hey sis," he said. "Been a while, huh?"

Achy Bacon Heart

"Hey sis," Sunburst said. "Been a while, huh?"

Sunset's ears folded down, her muzzle working soundlessly. Her eyes were wide, moist, and lost.

Sunswirl stepped cautiously forward, her aged eyes wide, hopeful, and a touch fearful. "Sunset," she said in a trembling voice. "Is...is it really you?"

Sunspot trotted at her side, squaring his jaw. "Princess Celestia told us—but we didn't believe—didn't want to think—"

"M-Mom...Dad..." Sunset's voice was barely a whisper. She crouched down low on her haunches, curling her wings in tightly at her sides.

Princess Celestia walked into the midst of the group. "Sunswirl, Sunspot, I present to you your long lost daughter, alive and well and, as you can see..." She smiled. "Quite worthy of praise and forgiveness."

"H-how?" Sunset whispered.

Celestia tilted her head. "Sunset Shimmer, surely you must have realized that after your, erm...departure...I contacted your family and made them aware of the situation?"

Sunset averted her eyes. "I...guess it never even occurred to me..." She looked up at her family, her eyes desperate, pleading, searching. "I'm so sorry!" she wailed. "I...I was such a horrible, spoiled brat! I left this world and didn't even give any of you a second thought! I..." She sniffled. "And then, after...after everything that happened, I..." She pressed herself low on her belly, burying her muzzle between her hooves. "I...forgot you..." Tears welled in her eyes.

The attendants quietly left the room as Sunset's family looked at one another, pain, doubt, and the ache of old memories crossing their faces. "Sunset," Sunswirl said gently. "I...won't pretend we understand what happened to you. And...and it hurt that in all these years, we never heard from you even once..."

"The only way we even knew you were still alive was Princess Celestia contacting us," Sunspot said gruffly, his voice hoarse.

"If I'd known before today you were friends with Princess Twilight, I'd have come looking for you by now," Sunburst said. "Or...or maybe not. I mean...you hurt Mom and Dad pretty bad..."

Sunset whimpered. "And...and you?"

Sunburst sighed. "I've wasted most of my life feeling sorry for myself because I got all the brains but none of the talent," he said with an awkward half-smile.

Sunset blinked. "Huh? But..."

Celestia laughed. "Pay him no attention," she said. "Sunburst merely lacked confidence in himself. True, he has let much time pass without making the most of his abilities, but he has finally come into his own and made quite a name for himself."

Sunburst rubbed the back of his neck with a hoof and laughed sheepishly. "Oh, I just...y'know..." He coughed. "But enough about me, look at you, Sis! You're an alicorn!"

That broke the dam. Sunswirl burst into tears and flung herself at Sunset, sweeping her up in a hug and shaking her. "Oh, sweet Celestia, Sunset...you foolish girl..."

Celestia smiled. "I believe the four of you should take some time to catch up," she said. "We can finish preparing you for your coronation later." With that, she quietly withdrew.

* * * * *

After the initial shock and flood of emotions, during which a maid delivered tea and biscuits, the family sat down. Sunset told her family about everything that happened after she left Equestria: her time acclimating to the other world, her bid for domination, the theft of the Element of Magic, her transformation into a demon, and all the rest of it, finishing with her and Twilight Sparkle finding the geodes in the crystal cave and, with the help of their friends, defeating the corrupted Gloriosa Daisy.

By the time she was finished, her parents and brother were staring at her with wide, astonished eyes.

"...wow," Sunburst said. "You uhh...you've had a heck of a life, Sis."

Sunset grimaced. "Yeah, well, it feels like everything I've been through in the past eight months has just been my atonement for a lifetime of cruelty, ambition, and inflicting misery and suffering on others." She rolled her eyes. "I mean, by now I've pretty much put it all behind me and made peace with what I used to be. I'm in a good place. I like my life now. I have great friends and...and I'm cool with how things are going now." She glanced at her wings, spreading them out to examine them. "Not so much with this, I mean, it'll take some getting used to, but..." She shrugged. "Like I told Celestia, it won't matter when I go...back..." Her irises narrowed to pinpricks. "Oh."

Her parents drew back. "You're...you're not staying?" Sunswirl whimpered. "But...honey..."

"We've only just gotten you back, and you're going to leave us again? Hurt your mother all over again?" Sunspot asked.

Sunset winced. "Look...Dad...I..." She sighed. "Seeing you guys again, it's rough on me too, you know? Because...because I haven't..." She ducked her head. "You don't need a daughter like me. You're better off forgetting..."

"Don't ever say that again!" Sunswirl snapped harshly. "How could we EVER forget you?! We LOVE you! We..." She choked back a sob. "We..."

Sunburst adjusted his glasses. "We moved on, Sis," he said. "We...we got used to the idea that we were never going to see you again. It was hard, but..." He shook his head. "But...we never stopped missing you. We never stopped caring. It's just..."

Sunset's ears drooped. "You guys..." Tears welled in her eyes. "I...I'm sorry. I really am! I don't want to hurt you again. I really don't! But..." She shook her head. "Equestria...it isn't my home anymore. It isn't where I belong." She sighed. "I belong in that other world now, in that other life, with...with my friends..." She sniffled. "I'm sorry."

Sunswirl swallowed thickly. "As...as long as you're happy, dear," she said. "And as long as...as long as you don't shut us out of your life again. As long as we get to see you and hear from you...y'know...once in a while."

Sunset nodded. "I promise," she said firmly. "I have...I have a lot to make up for. A lot to catch up on." She smiled halfheartedly. "Hey, why don't you all come back to Ponyville with me after this silly coronation thing is over? I'd love to spend more time with you!"

Sunburst adjusted his glasses. "Ponyville, you say? Heh...why not? It'll give me a chance to visit Starlight. I mean, you know, as long as we're there." Sunswirl smirked behind his back.

Sunset raised an eyebrow. "Starlight? You know Starlight Glimmer?"

"Of course I know her!" Sunburst said. "So do you, remember? You used to look after both of us when we were..." He pursed his lips. "Well, it has been a while..."

Sunset blinked. Old memories, buried under a lifetime of studies, misadventures, and self-discovery, bubbled to the surface. "Wait. Wait. Starlight Glimmer was that little filly who used to scream like a mandrake whenever she wet her diaper?"

Sunspot rolled his eyes. "That, she remembers." Sunswirl giggled.

Sunset shook her head. "Wow. Small world, huh?"

* * * * *

The coronation was a long, pompous affair full of parades, trumpeters, and way too many orange banners decorated with Sunset's Cutie Mark. After the ceremony, she retreated to her private room in the castle and immediately shed her topaz-studded red gold crown. "I can't believe I used to be so obsessed with all this," she muttered as she carelessly tossed the crown onto the dressing table.

As she was disentangling herself from her fancy coronation gown, there was a knock on her door. "Sunset? It's Sunburst. Can I come in?"

"Sure," Sunset said as she carefully folded up her gown for the staff to deal with later and crawled onto the bed, curling up on her side. Sunburst entered, blinking at her.

"Umm...I can come back later, or...or we can talk tomorrow..."

"Nah, it's cool," Sunset said. "I could use some normal company right now."

"Eheh...right..." Sunburst chuckled. "Normal...just two normal estranged siblings who haven't spoken in years..."

Sunset rolled her eyes. "Yeah yeah."

Sunburst coughed. "So, uh, anyway," he said. "I was wondering something about your story about that other world." He began pacing. "You said these 'humans' over there, they're doubles of ponies here in Equestria?"

"A lot of them are, yeah. I mean, probably more than I'm aware of, but the two worlds aren't a perfect match."

"I see," Sunburst said, stroking his beard thoughtfully. "Umm, see, the reason I asked is..." He coughed. "I don't know if Mom and Dad noticed, but you...kinda didn't mention how you managed to get by over there. I mean, you didn't say anything about how you managed to put a roof over your head or keep yourself fed or anything like that. I just..." He shrugged. "It's been bugging me."

"Oh," Sunset said, her eyes clouding.

"After everything you told us, the only thing I can figure out is you took the place of the other world's Sunset Shimmer," Sunburst said. "You forgot all about Mom, Dad, and me because...because you always had us, just...that world's version of us. Right?" He searched her eyes with his own gaze.

Sunset sighed and turned away. "Not exactly," she said. She swallowed. "The other Sunset Shimmer...actually had a completely different family than I have." She shook her head. "Don't ask me how that works, how two completely different sets of parents can have the same kid, but it's true. You, Mom, and Dad don't exist in that world. Her parents were Desert Sunrise and Sunset Satin."

Sunburst blinked, his brow creasing. "Aunt Satin?"

Sunset tilted her head. "Aunt Satin?"

"Well, we're not close with her or anything, but..." Sunburst shrugged. "You and me are second cousins to Princess Twilight."

Sunset blinked several times. "Really. Huh. Go figure." She shook her head. "Anyway, the other Sunset and her family died in an accident when she was little. The only living family they had was her grandpa. I, umm..." She shifted on the bed. "I convinced him I didn't die in the crash and that it was all a mistake. He was old and dying when I found him, had cancer. I just...I stayed with him until the end, and he left everything to me." She shrugged.

"Oh," Sunburst said quietly.

"Yeah." Sunset sighed. "I cheated an old man out of everything he had by pretending to be his dead granddaughter. And..." She tucked her muzzle between her hooves and folded her ears down. "Even now, even after all I've changed and grown since..." She let out one great sniff. "I'm still living off his money, still keeping the apartment..."

"Well..." Sunburst said thoughtfully. "I mean, yeah, it was kind of dishonest and immoral of you to do that, but..." He walked over and tilted Sunset's head up. "If you look at it another way, it sounds like you gave a sad, lonely old man some happiness in his last days. Didn't you?"

Sunset sniffled. "W-well...yeah, kind of. I mean, I guess..."

Sunburst smiled. "Then don't worry about it. You did a good thing for bad reasons. As long as you're atoning for all the bad things you did, I think it's okay for you to, y'know..." He shrugged. "Maybe let that one slide? Especially if you kinda have to in order to stay there."

Sunset swallowed heavily. "That's...that's kind of what I tell myself," she said shakily. Shaking her head, she added, "Anyway, I'm already at the point where I need to take a part-time job just to make sure I have, y'know, enough left for college and stuff." She let out a huge yawn. "Ugh..."

Sunburst yawned as well. "Yeah, it's...it's been a big day, huh?" He reached out and stroked Sunset's mane. "Good to have you back, Sis." He trotted for the door. "Get some rest. We'll talk more tomorrow."

"Yeah," Sunset said sleepily. "G'nite, Sunburst."

She was asleep before he even closed the door.

Bacon Call

Author's Note

Beginning with this chapter, this story will take on a more episodic format as originally envisioned. Just assume there's been a timeskip since the previous chapter...

Bacon Call

"YEAH, they sent the TAX MAN! I lost my JOB AND! You got hooked on OXYCODONE! They shut the LIGHTS OFF! They took the CAR AND! I bought a SAWED OFF SHOTGUN!"

Two wide-eyed unicorns stared with bemused frowns at the amber-coated, copper-maned alicorn who was cheerfully—and loudly—singing at one of the large tables in the castle library. Pens and pencils wreathed in red magic scratched away at various worksheets and notebooks spread out across the table. Next to the alicorn, a tiny baby alicorn with immense pink wings and bright, shiny eyes bounced happily in a high chair, burbling cheerfully to herself as a plush snail danced through the air in time with the singing.

Starlight Glimmer shook her head. "What. The HAY. Are you SINGING?!"

Sunset Shimmer blinked. "Huh? Oh, it's just a rock song that's popular right now."

"Those lyrics sound...absolutely dreadful," Trixie said sourly.

Sunset shrugged. "A lot of rock songs are like that in my world," she said. "It's supposed to be a catharsis, I guess, for people who are going through tough times with like, depression and drug addiction and stuff. And for everybody else, well, it's just really catchy music."

Starlight raised an eyebrow. "Those sound like pretty awful things to deal with, are they...are they common things over there?"

Again, Sunset shrugged. "Kinda, yeah. It sucks, but that's life."

The two unicorns looked at each other blankly. "And...you like living in that world?" Trixie asked slowly.

"Well, yeah," Sunset said. "I mean, I'm not personally going through stuff like that, and I don't really know anybody who is. Like I said, it's just a song that's popular. Don't overthink it."

"That's the thing," Starlight said. "You say that song is popular, but it sounds like the singer's, well..." She glanced at Trixie.

Trixie waved a hoof. "Kind of about to turn totally evil and go on a rampage?"

Sunset rolled her eyes and chuckled. "Really, guys, it's just a song. Isn't that wight, Fluwwypoo?" she added in baby-talk as she nuzzled Flurry, who cooed affectionately and hugged her nose with her tiny hooves.

The library doors opened, and Twilight Sparkle entered. "Hi girls!" she said cheerfully. "How's it going?"

"Sunset Shimmer was just talking about her world's popular music," Starlight said with a bright tone and a tight smile.

"Oh? How fun!" Twilight said, clapping her hooves. "Remember that music festival we went to?"

"I remember it being really loud," Starlight said. "I don't really remember the lyrics so much because the guitars were so loud!"

Sunset rolled her eyes. "These two are hung up on the lyrics to the song I was singing earlier," she said. "I told them not to overthink it, I'm only singing it because it's popular and catchy."

"A popular and catchy song about getting fired and buying a shotgun," Starlight muttered.

Twilight raised an eyebrow. "What now?"

"I said don't overthink it!" Sunset cried, flailing her hooves.

"Bagigigigi!" Flurry insisted, banging her hoof on her high chair tray.

"You tell 'em, Flurry!" Sunset said with a tone of satisfaction, crossing her hooves and nodding.

"Oh sure, take HER side!" Trixie complained.

Starlight blinked. "Trix...Flurry's a foal. She literally doesn't know what's going on."

"I knew that!" Trixie said hastily, blushing faintly.

Sunset grinned and opened her saddlebags. A smartphone levitated out, hovering in the air in front of her and Flurry. She leaned in close to Flurry and smiled hugely. A flash went off, and the phone floated back into her bag. Flurry blinked dazedly, burbling in baby speak as she chased the spots in her eyes.

"What was that?!" Trixie asked, rearing in alarm.

Twilight blinked. "You brought your phone through the portal? What if it'd been wrecked by the magic?"

"It's a cheap backup phone," Sunset said. "I wanted to take pictures here, but I didn't want to risk my regular phone getting broken or lost or eaten, so I got a backup!"

"Oh! Smart."

"Trixie asked a question! Ignore Trixie at your own peril!"

Sunset rolled her eyes. "It's a smartphone," she said. "It's..." She rolled a hoof. "Hard to explain because most of what it can do hasn't been invented yet in Equestria, but basically it's a tool most humans have that they'd be completely lost without. One of the many things it can do is take pictures."

"That tiny thing is a camera?" Trixie asked. "But...! How could that be? It wasn't even big enough to hold any film!"

"Humans don't really use film so much anymore. Well, except for like, film camera enthusiasts, I guess."

Trixie blinked. "How can you take pictures without film?"

Sunset started to explain, then hummed thoughtfully. "You know what? It'd be easier to explain if I just showed you. But not here..."

* * * * *

Three girls emerged from the portal into the brightness of the Canterlot High courtyard.

Starlight Glimmer looked down at herself and blinked. "Hey, my clothes changed!" The outfit she'd been wearing when she crossed over for the slumber party had been replaced by a purple-and-green short-sleeved top with a sleeveless black vest, dark jeans with artistic rips at the thighs and shins, high-heeled black ankle boots, and a star-spangled soft purple beanie.

"Huh, weird," Sunset Shimmer said, shouldering her backpack.

"Whaaaaaaaaaaat just happened?!" the third member of their group warbled in alarm, wobbling unsteadily on her feet. Sunset and Starlight rushed to catch and steady her.

Trixie had manifested on the human side of the portal wearing an off-the-shoulder navy blue top that bared her midriff, a light purple pleated skirt that fell to mid-thigh, dark blue tights, and sparkly light blue open-toe wedges. A short lavender cape fastened with a sapphire brooch lay loosely about her bare shoulders. She looked from one face to another, eyes wide. "S-Sunset...Shimmer? Starlight Glimmer?"

Her friends nodded.

Trixie frowned. "You look...very strange," she said. She looked Sunset up and down, frowning. "What in the name of Celestia is this supposed to be?" she added, poking Sunset in the chest. She examined her hands, then lifted them up and studied them intently. "And this is...what happened to me?! Oh look, I've got these...big lumpy things too...are they humps?" she asked as she squeezed her own chest. "Are we...did we turn into some sort of two-legged camels?"

"Trixie, cut that out!" Sunset hissed, eyes darting around to make sure nobody was watching them. "Here, hands at your sides, we'll show you how to walk like a human, okay?"

"O-okay," Trixie said uncertainly, "but this is definitely the most bizarre magic trick the Great and Powerful Trixie has ever seen, and she isn't sure she cares for it..."

Sunset led the other two up the steps into the school. "We're going in there?" Trixie asked. "What is it, the local castle?"

"School, Trixie. It's a high school." Sunset guided her Equestrian friends down a hallway sparsely littered with straggling students who were just finishing up detentions or extracurriculars. She took a right into the administrative hall and knocked on a door with a crescent moon mark on the frosted glass. "Vice-Principal Luna?"

"Enter," a voice said from within.

Starlight blinked. "Was that—?"

Sunset opened the door and ducked in. "Just here to pick up my stuff," Sunset said.

"Ah, yes," said the woman seated behind the cramped desk that occupied most of the room. She slid a large orange canvas bag across the room without bothering to look up. "I'm glad you returned early," the woman continued. "I certainly don't mind looking after a few of your things while you visit that other world, but I would occasionally like to get out of here a little early."

"Sorry, Vice-Principal Luna," Sunset said. "I won't make a habit of it, I just really really needed some horn time."

"I'll pretend I understood that," Luna said, finally looking up. She blinked. "Ah! Miss Lulamoon. I needed to talk to you about that—"

"Wrong Trixie, Miss Luna," Sunset said hastily, holding up a hand to stall her. "This is the Trixie from Equestria. I just brought her over to show her how smartphones work."

Luna paused, blinking.

"I'll let the other Trixie know you're looking for her if I see her though!" Sunset said as she picked up her bag and steered the other two girls away from the door.

Once they were several feet down the hall, Starlight turned back to look over her shoulder, her jaw agape. "Was that...Princess Luna?!"

"Her counterpart, yeah," Sunset said. "Here she's Vice-Principal of CHS. Celestia's the Principal." She led them back the way they'd come, back to the statue, where she sat down on the grass near the portal. The other two followed suit; Trixie kept looking around with interest.

"So...this is the world you abandoned Equestria for?" Trixie asked. "Gave up your unicorn magic for? I can't say I would ever willingly surrender my horn." She looked down at her hands. "Don't even get me started on whatever this nonsense is."

"It's not so bad here," Starlight said. "It's just loud and weird."

Sunset dug through the bag she'd gotten from Luna and pulled out a phone with an orange case. "Okay, so smartphones," she said. "Ooh, I've got a ton of texts, I wonder what's up?" She spent a minute scrolling the screen. Starlight and Trixie looked at each other, then at Sunset, then back at each other.

Starlight coughed pointedly.

"Huh? Oh! Sorry," Sunset said. "The girls are shooting memes back and forth."

"No idea what that means," Starlight said tightly, smiling too-bright.

Sunset chuckled, then launched into an explanation of smartphones...

* * * * *

Trixie's jaw scraped the ground as she held Sunset's phone reverently, staring at the screen, on which a video was playing. "So let me get this straight," she said. "This thing lets you talk to people who are clear across the world, either with your voice or by sending letters to them that they get instantly, it has access to some kind of massive invisible library that exists everywhere at once, it plays music, it's a movie theater that fits in your pocket, AND it can take pictures?!"

"And a bunch of other stuff, yeah," Sunset said, nodding.

Starlight deftly plucked the phone from Trixie's slacking grip and passed it back to Sunset. "Kinda mind-blowing, huh Trix?" she said cheerfully.

Trixie shook her head. "How? Just—HOW? All the greatest magic in Equestria couldn't come up with something that does all that!"

Sunset shrugged. "Decades of technology. Research and innovation. This world lives and dies by its technology, so the technology keeps getting better, faster, all the time. These phones didn't even exist until a little over a decade ago, and now you pretty much can't live without one."

//Space Unicorn! Soaring through the stars!//

Starlight and Trixie jumped. Sunset held up a hand and tapped the screen of her phone, then held it up to her ear. "Hey Rainbow Dash," she said. "What's up? Yeah, I'm over at the school. Sugar Cube Corner? Sure, gimme a bit." She disconnected. "Sorry about that," she said to the other two. "The girls wanna meet up at Sugar Cube Corner."

Trixie frowned. "How—were you talking to Rainbow Dash just now, when she's on the other side of the portal? And Sugar Cube Corner is in Ponyville?"

"Nono, this world's Rainbow Dash," Sunset said. "And this world's Sugar Cube Corner."

"You'll get the hang of it, Trix," Starlight said with a grin.

"It's...a bit much for me," Trixie said, shaking her head in bewilderment. "I believe I would like to return to Twilight's castle now."

"Yeah, I wanna get back to playing with Flurry Heart before Cadance comes to pick her up," Starlight said, standing and stretching. "It was fun visiting your world again though!"

"Yeah, we should do it again, but for a longer trip," Sunset said. "Hey, let's take a selfie before you go!"

"A whattie?" Trixie asked.

Sunset rolled her eyes. "Just get in here," she said as she pulled her phone out and held it up above her head.

* * * * *

"Hey girls," Sunset said as she joined her friends at Sugar Cube Corner a short while later.

"Hey Sunset!" Twilight Sparkle said. "What's up?"

"Oh, you know," Sunset said with a chuckle. "Got a ton of homework done, visited with Princess Twilight, played with her adorable niece, confused the heck out of Starlight Glimmer and Trixie..."

Rainbow snorted. "Confusing Trixie isn't exactly an achievement," she said. "Heck, it wouldn't even get you a bronze trophy."

Sunset rolled her eyes. "Pony Trixie," she clarified. "She's hanging around the castle a lot lately apparently. I blew her mind with my phone."

"Oh, you took the backup phone with you?" Twilight asked. "How'd that work out?"

"Better than I expected!" Sunset said, pulling out her backup phone and firing off a group MMS. The girls all pulled their phones out. Fluttershy let out a high-pitched gasp of delight.

"Oh my GOSH what IS THAT? I WANT ONE!" she squeaked.

"Izzat you as a pony?" Applejack asked.

"What the heck is that thing?" Rainbow wondered.

"Oh, that is absolutely adorable!" Rarity cooed.

Twilight adjusted her glasses. "Wow, so that's what you really look like, huh?"

"Seriously I will pay ANYTHING for one of whatever that insanely adorable, squishy thing is!" Fluttershy said, getting up in Sunset's face.

Sunset backed up. "Simmer down, Fluttershy," she said. "That's Twilight's niece. She's not a pet, no matter how adorable she looks. She's a baby."

"Oh," Fluttershy said, blinking. She sat back down, a disappointed look on her face. "Umm...well, next time you go back, can you get lots more pictures of her? And videos? Lots of videos?" she asked hopefully.

Sunset chuckled. "Sure. In fact, I'll ask Princess Twilight to let me know next time she's having Flurry over, and you can come with me, okay?"

Fluttershy gasped. "Yay!" she cheered quietly.

Sunset sent the picture to her regular phone, then pulled it out and went through her photos. She paused on the selfie she'd taken at the portal. A slow, evil grin split her face. "Hey, speaking of confusing Trixie..."

* * * * *

The Great and Powerful Trixie was in the middle of filing her Great and Powerful Fingernails while watching her favorite afternoon TV show in her Great and Powerful Bedroom when her Great and Powerful Phone buzzed with a text message. Blowing on her nails, she picked up her phone and frowned. "Sunset Shimmer? What could she possibly want with Trixie?" The spinning circle of an incoming photo took up several precious seconds of Trixie's time before finally displaying an image...

"WHAT?!" Trixie cried, shooting to her feet. "This is—! Trixie never posed for such a—! Who is that other girl? Trixie doesn't take selfies with Sunset Shi—Trixie does not even own that outfit! ...although it does look rather nice on Trixie..."

Bacon Butter

Five in the morning wasn't anyone's favorite time to be awake. Least of all in a household with two men who couldn't get back to sleep because of the pained moaning of a teenage girl and the sympathetic meowings of cats and chitterings of various animals. Least of all when it had been going on half the night.

Fluttershy sat up in bed, her face puffy and blotchy, wearing her favorite flannel pajamas with bunnies and kittens on them. Her hair was a tangled, frizzy mess, and her eyes were red with heavy bags. She snuggled a heating pad to her tummy like a newborn babe with one hand while nursing a cup of hot cocoa with the other.

Her mother, Cherry Rose, walked in and sat down in the desk chair, turning it to face her. "Any better?" she asked sympathetically, a pinched grimace on her face.

Fluttershy shook her head and whimpered.

"Oh dear," Cherry said, clucking her tongue. "I used to have some pretty bad cramps when I was your age, but nothing like this." She ran her fingers soothingly through Fluttershy's hair. "Is the Damitol taking the edge off at all?"

Fluttershy snorted. "They should call it Damitol POS."

Cherry laughed softly. She fidgeted with the hem of the loose sweater she'd thrown on over her own nightgown. "Well, there's something I used to use when I had really bad cramps, it's better than Damitol, but..." She bit her lip. "It might make you a little loopy."

Fluttershy winced and pressed the heating pad tighter to her abdomen. "I'll take it," she hissed out.

* * * * *

"Alright, alright, settle down," Cranky Doodle called out grumpily to his second period math class. "We've got a lot to cover today, so let me take roll..." He grumbled his way through the roll book as he looked around the room, marking students present. His eyes landed upon an empty desk, and he frowned. "Fluttershy? Has anybody seen Fluttershy?"

"She wasn't in first period civics," Trixie said.

"Huh, guess she's out today," Cranky mumbled. "Alright, let's—"

The door opened, and a cloud of purple smoke drifted through. All eyes turned to the door. Every jaw in the room dropped.

Something stood in the doorway. Whatever it was, it was more or less Fluttershy-shaped: willowy, with butter-yellow skin and long cherry-blossom pink hair and big, bright blue-green eyes.

But the Fluttershy-shaped anomaly standing in the doorway was wearing bellbottoms, spangled platform sandals, a tie-dyed T-shirt tied off above her midriff, a fringed suede vest, and a suede hairband interwoven with tiny white flowers. Her long hair had multiple thin, beaded braids tied into it, and she wore a pair of small, round sunglasses. A leather peace sign hung on a lanyard around her neck. She leaned in the doorway, swaying back and forth, her eyes roaming over the classroom interior with interest.

Cranky Doodle shook his head in disbelief, blinking his tired old eyes rapidly. "Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy giggled. "Wow, like...wooooooow," she said. She brought a lit cigarette to her mouth and took a deep drag, then exhaled slowly. Purple smoke billowed from her pale yellow lips.

"YOUNG LADY!" Cranky snapped. "What do you think you're doing, smoking on school property! That's against the ru—" His eyes narrowed. "Wait a second. Is that weed?!"

Fluttershy giggled. "Sure is, donkey dude," she crooned. "Wanna puff?"

"Wha—I—NO!" Cranky shot to his feet, pointing a trembling finger at the door. "March yourself RIGHT DOWN to the principal's office this second!"

"Suit yourself," Fluttershy said, turning around and sashaying away, her joint merrily puffing purple smoke clouds in her wake.

"Of all the..." Cranky muttered. He looked out over his students, to see them all engrossed in their phones, furiously texting and tweeting away. "NOW CUT THAT OUT!"

* * * * *

During the mid-morning break, six friends met up in the east lounge by the vending machines. Most of them had worried looks on their faces.

"Has anybody heard from Fluttershy?" Sunset Shimmer asked.

"Not a peep," Rainbow Dash said. "She might have her phone off?"

"Do we...do we know for certain this whole...thing isn't somebody's idea of a sick joke?" Rarity asked. "I mean, Fluttershy was absent first period, and what everyone's saying just...doesn't add up!"

"Yeah, Fluttershy's a lot of things, but she's not a stoner!" Pinkie Pie said. "The hippie thing isn't much of a stretch, but the weed? And at school? That's just not—" She cut off, her nose wrinkling. "Ew, what smells like burning diapers and old lady cooch?"

"Ugh, I'm feeling dizzy all of a sudden," Twilight Sparkle said, clutching her head. Just then, the door to the men's restroom at the end of the hall opened, disgorging a cloud of purple haze. The girls all fanned themselves, coughing and gagging. Sandalwood lurched out into the hall, eyes glazed as he looked around. A yellow-skinned, pink-haired girl in hippie clothes was latched firmly around his neck, giggling as she planted a sloppy kiss on his face before letting him go.

"Righteous," Sandalwood said with a lopsided grin. "Stay groovy, babe!"

"Peace!" Fluttershy spun on one toe, giggling her head off. She took in the six shellshocked faces staring at her and her giggling rose in volume. "Far! OUT! Look at you all! Hi girls!" She untucked a joint from behind her ear. "Isn't this place a trip?"

"FLUTTERSHY?!" six voices cried in unison.

Fluttershy giggled as she fumbled for a lighter. "You girls gotta try this," she said. "I am feeling so mellow right now!" She lit her joint, which emitted a fresh spate of purple haze into the hall as she puffed on it, her eyes glazing over behind her round sunglasses. "And I just have so much love to spread! Come on, girls, spread the love with me!"

"Hard pass," Applejack said, arms folded and eyes narrowed in consternation.

"Suit yourself, Miss Boring...Borangey...Borange!" Fluttershy said, giggling and coughing.

"Fluttershy, sweetness...do please take a moment to sit and get your wits about you," Rarity suggested. "And perhaps stop smoking that incredibly pungent stuff?"

"Yeah, Fluttershy, this is..." Pinkie Pie gestured expansively with her arms. "Freakie-deakie!"

Fluttershy scoffed. "Please," she said. "I haven't felt this calm and relaxed in ages!" She took a long drag, then blew out purple smoke rings and turned on one heel. "Now, if you girls don't mind, I'm gonna—"

"Oh no you ain't!" Applejack thundered, rushing Fluttershy with the intent to bulldog her. Rainbow Dash, having the same idea, moved to cover her other side. Neither of them expected Fluttersy to twirl gracefully out of their way and duck between them, leaving the two girls to crash in a painful, tangled heap as Fluttershy sauntered merrily (and rapidly) away. Sunset nodded to Twilight and Pinkie; the three gave chase while Rarity stayed behind to tend to their fallen friends.

"Fluttershy, WAIT!" Sunset cried.

"How—is—she—faster—than—us—in—those—shoes?!" Twilight panted and puffed.

"She's gaining on us, girls!" Pinkie yelled, pouring on a burst of speed. Fluttershy turned a corner at the next hallway intersection. The three girls rounded the same corner...

Fluttershy was gone.

"Oh...kay..." Sunset drawled.

"How'd she do that?" Pinkie wondered.

"This isn't good," Twilight moaned. "At this rate, Fluttershy's going to get suspended, maybe even expelled, and she'll have a permanent criminal record! What's even worse is that this will look bad on her transcript!"

After shooting Twilight a wry look, Sunset sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Pinkie, go back to the others. Form groups of two, split up, search the school. Twilight, you're with me."

* * * * *

Rainbow and Rarity prowled the halls, phones out and attention split between their feeds and the hall before them. The halls were emptying out around them as students moved off to their next classes. They rounded a corner and collided with Vice-Principal Luna, who frowned mildly at them. "Girls? What are you doing here? Your third period classes are in completely different parts of the school!"

Rarity looked up. "Ever so sorry, Miss Luna," she said primly. "We're attempting to find Fluttershy. She's...she's a bit off color today, and as her good friends, we're very...concerned."

Luna frowned. "Fluttershy? I'd heard she was out sick."

"No, she's here," Rainbow said. "It's just, well...she's not herself right now." Her phone pinged. "Found Sandalwood," she said. "Crap, he's down by the wood shop. I'll text Applejack."

"Sandalwood? I thought you were looking for Fluttershy?" Luna asked.

Rarity coughed delicately. "We last saw Fluttershy in the company of Sandalwood, if you catch my meaning."

Luna's jaw dropped. "Fluttershy was buying weed?!"

"More like getting high with him in the bathroom," Rainbow said. She paused. "Wait, you know Sandalwood sells—"

"Oh please, everyone knows," Luna scoffed. "Celestia's one of his biggest customers." She paused, coughed awkwardly, and averted her gaze. "It's...medicinal," she said unconvincingly.

Rainbow's phone pinged. "Got 'er," she said. "She's...holy crap." Her eyes widened. "Somebody saw her go into the band hall with Soarin!"

"The band hall? But that's empty this period," Luna said. After a moment, she paused. "Oh. Oh."

"Worry not, Vice-Principal Luna, we are on the case!" Rarity declared. The two girls took off for the band hall at top speed.

"You...you do that," Luna said distractedly. "I'm going to go find Sandalwood..."

* * * * *

"Like, I didn't sell her that stuff, brah," Sandalwood said from where he hung upside-down in Twilight's magic. "Whoa, blood's rushing to my brain."

Sunset reached out and touched Sandalwood's forehead. Her eyes flared brilliantly for a few seconds. She staggered back, clutching her head. "DUDE," she duded.

"Sunset! You okay?" Twilight unceremoniously dropped Sandalwood and knelt next to Sunset.

Sunset shook her head like a dog, reaching up to massage her temples. "Lesson learned," she said, "never mind-meld with a stoner. Holy crap."

"Can I like, go now?" Sandalwood asked. "I've got class..."

"Just what were you and Fluttershy doing in that bathroom?" Twilight asked.

Sandalwood shrugged. "Just havin' a love-in, brah. I had no idea Fluttershy was such a righteous chick, y'know?"

"I can taste all the colors," Sunset said vacantly.

Twilight's phone chimed. She checked it and made a yuck face. "AJ just saw her come out of another bathroom with Bulk Biceps. Come on, Sunset! Let's go."

"Just a second, I'm trying to count my fingers," Sunset said. "I get up to thirty and then some of them disappear and I gotta start over..."

Twilight facepalmed.

* * * * *

"Pretty sure Ah saw 'er go this way," Applejack said as they rounded a corner. She almost collided with Apple Bloom, who was running down the adjacent hall with Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. "Dagnabbit! Watch yer runnin', Apple Bloom!"

"Sorry, Applejack," Apple Bloom said, juggling the armload of notebooks she was carrying.

"Hey, you girls haven't seen Fluttershy, have you?" Pinkie Pie asked. "We're trying to catch up to her and we think she came this way."

"Fluttershy?" Apple Bloom asked, looking to her friends, who shrugged. "No, why?"

"If'n you do see 'er, shoot me a text, got it?" Applejack said worriedly, craning her neck to look past the younger girls. "We gotta round that gal up afore she goes an' does somethin' we'll all regret."

The CMCs looked at each other in confusion. "Fluttershy? Do something wrong?"

"She showed up at school totally high on weed today," Pinkie Pie said. "We've already caught her coming out of two different boys' rooms with three different boys, and she's been a total gigglebox each time!"

The CMCs shared a wide-eyed look. "Fluttershy?!" Sweetie Belle squeaked.

"Wow, Apple Bloom, sounds like she's gunning for your record!" Scootaloo said in an impressed tone.

"Scootaloo!" Apple Bloom hissed in warning, but it was too late. Applejack's eyebrow rose violently.

"Now whut'n tarnation's that s'posed'ta mean?" Applejack asked in a slow, menacing tone.

"It...means...that we really need to be going now—" Sweetie Belle started as Apple Bloom made to break around Applejack and run for it. Applejack was having none of it; her hand shot out and grabbed onto the back of Apple Bloom's shirt like a vise.

"Apple Bloom," Applejack growled.

Apple Bloom squirmed in place, not meeting her sister's stern gaze. "Okay okay," she complained. "So like, Ah've maybe gone down on a couple of guys?"

"Ooooh!" Pinkie crooned, giggling.

"Quiet you," Applejack snarled. Returning her rattlesnake-like glare to her sister, she ground out. "An' jes' how many is 'a couple'?"

Apple Bloom shifted around guiltily. "Ah dunno," she whined. "Like maybe, y'know, two or three...dozen..."

"Sorry, didn't quite catch that," Applejack growled, twisting her fist in Apple Bloom's shirt.

"OW! OW! Okay, jeez!" Apple Bloom cried, wincing.

"How. Many."

"Like...maybe thirty-six?"

Micro Chips came waltzing out of a classroom at that moment. He spotted the group and gave Apple Bloom a cheery wave and a wink.

"Okay, thirty-seven," Apple Bloom amended.

Applejack stared at her with the eyes of a deer facing an entire convoy of trucks.

"Oh wow, did NOT see that coming," Pinkie said, her hair standing on end.

"It's no big deal," Apple Bloom said with a shrug as she finally managed to slip out of her sister's grasp. "It's jes' a blowjob. It's like sayin' howdy!" She took off down the hall. "Gottagowe'reSUPERlatenowbyeApplejackloveyou!" The other CMCs shot off in her wake, not daring to look back.

Steam began billowing out of Applejack's ears. Pinkie Pie's eyes widened. "Umm...I'm just gonna keep looking for Fluttershy now...yeah..." She headed off in the direction the CMCs had originally come from at a sprint.

A nearby door opened, disgorging Ditzy Doo. She looked at Applejack and frowned, tilting her head. "Is everything okay, Applejack?"

"MAH BABY SISTER SUCKED THIRTY-SEVEN DICKS!" Applejack thundered.

Ditzy blinked. "In a row?"

Applejack stormed off, red-faced and growling, her hat smoldering around the edges.

* * * * *

Lunchtime found the cafeteria in chaos, Granny Smith beside herself, and six frustrated girls staring in disbelief and facepalming.

"You know, we coulda just saved ourselves all that trouble and waited here for her," Rainbow Dash muttered. "I mean, how did none of us think of this?"

Fluttershy had taken over the serving station in the cafeteria and was busy gorging herself on everything in sight, leaving an entire school of hungry, irritable, and irate high schoolers standing in line with empty trays, empty stomachs, confused minds, and grumpy attitudes.

"Darling, please! Think of your figure!" Rarity exclaimed.

"We're ALL thinking of her figure right now," some random guy said. "Those jeans are real hip-huggers." Numerous murmurs of agreement rose from the spectators.

"Oy," Pinkie said, shaking her head. "Come on, girls, we need to get this hot mess outta here before it's too late."

"Oh, it's already too late," Sunset said, looking around at all the phones that were out and recording. "But yeah, we totally need to get her out of here. Any ideas?"

"Uh doi," Rainbow said. "Meet us in the practice room!" With that, she vanished in a rainbow blur, as did Fluttershy. A half-eaten chicken sandwich hung comically in midair for almost a full second before splattering onto the serving counter.

The rest of the girls ploughed their way through the crowd of fellow students, clearing the doors just as Celestia and Luna were coming in. "Girls, what—"

"No time! We've got Fluttershy, we're gonna deal with her!"

"Oh good, because—" Celestia began, but nobody was listening. The girls pelted down the hall toward the practice room. They rounded a corner and immediately skidded to a halt as they found Rainbow Dash lying on her side on the hallway floor, crumpled into a ball, hands clutched to her stomach and a dazed look on her face.

"Rainbow Dash! What happened?" Rarity asked.

"She sucker punched me," Rainbow wheezed. "Then she...she trampled me..." She coughed a few times. "Damn, those heels hurt..."

"Applejack, get Rainbow to the nurse's office," Sunset barked. "Rainbow, which way did she go now?"

"Home...Ec room..."

As Applejack took Rainbow away, the rest of the girls gathered in a loose huddle. "Alright, if she's gone to the Home Ec room, she's probably gonna stay there," Sunset said. "But the whole trampling Rainbow thing bothers me, that's not Fluttershy behavior or stoner behavior."

"Yeah, what's up with that?" Pinkie wondered.

The girls all received a group chat notification at the same time. Looking around in confusion, they pulled out their phones.

Fluttershy's face, pale and puffy and splotchy with bags under her eyes, filled their screens.

//Hey girls,// she said raspily. //I just wanted to check in. I had my phone off all morning and I didn't want anybody to worry.//

"You didn't want us to WORRY?" Sunset cried. "We've been chasing you all over campus all morning while you've been on your little hippie trip!"

"Do you have any idea how this is all going to look on EweTube, darling?"

"And you got poor Apple Bloom in big trouble without even doing anything to her!" Pinkie Pie added.

Fluttershy blinked slowly. //Oh. Kay. Um. What?// she asked raspily. //Girls, I literally just woke up, I've been in bed all day...//

"THERE you all are!"

The girls turned as one to see Princess Twilight Sparkle and Starlight Glimmer running up to them, Principal Celestia and Vice-Principal Luna just behind them. The two Equestrians skidded to a halt and bent over to catch their breath.

"Been looking...all over for you...Sunset Shimmer..." Princess Twilight wheezed.

"Twilight? Starlight? What—"

"Girls, we've got a problem!" Starlight said. "We've lost Fluttershy!"

//Um. I'm right here. Also, hello Starlight, and...and pony Twilight...//

"Wow, what is this, Day of the Living Fluttershy?" Pinkie Pie asked. "You've lost a Fluttershy, we've lost a Fluttershy—"

//Still right here, in bed, where I've been all day—//

"What do you mean you lost Fluttershy?" Rarity asked.

Princess Twilight grimaced. "Our Fluttershy, the Fluttershy from Equestria, she was, well..." She coughed. "There was a tea party involved, and a pony named Tree Hugger, and maaaybe some, um...recreational substances..."

And just like that, it all came together in Sunset's head. She groaned. "Your Fluttershy got stoned and jumped through the portal," she said.

//Oh my goodness.//

//Wait, so we've got TWO stoner Fluttershys on the loose?!// Rainbow Dash cried over the group chat.

"No, Rainbow Dash, it's just the one," Sci-Twi said, adjusting her glasses. "Our Fluttershy—oh gee, how do we do this?"

//For the record, I've been in bed all day with cramps,// Fluttershy said. //And I've never, umm...gotten high.//

//Oh, so the one WE'VE been chasing all day is Ponyshy—yeah, I got there,// Rainbow said in understanding.

Sunset sighed. "Well that explains a lot," she said with a relieved chuckle. "Not that it helps with the huge problem Ponyshy's created for our Fluttershy."

"What problem is that?" Starlight asked curiously.

"Aheh..." Sunset coughed. "Let's just say your Fluttershy's had an...interesting time in our world..." She shook her head. "Anyway, we're pretty sure we know where she is now. Let's go get her."

As the group followed Sunset to the Home Ec room, Fluttershy, still on an open group chat, plaintively asked, //What do you mean by 'an interesting time'? Sunset? Sunset Shimmer? Girls? Helloooo...oh my...//

Don't Go Bacon My Heart

"So what are your plans for the weekend, Sunset? You said you've got a long weekend coming up, you doing anything special with the girls?"

Sunset Shimmer leaned back in her chair in Princess Twilight's library and sighed. "Oh. My gosh. There's way too much going on this weekend. Everyone has different plans! Juniper Montage wants a bunch of us to go with her to see the new movie with international action star Damme-Phuc Schitt-Krappe, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie want me to go with them to controversial rap artist Nick Digga's concert, but he's spent so much time on social media defending fallen comedy icon and sexual predator Pudding Pop that I don't really want to pay money to see his show, Twilight and Fluttershy invited me to a violin concerto by convicted serial anal rapist Ben Dover, it's his first performance since his parole last month, and Flash wants me to watch a new porn with him starring popular Neighponese porn star Miso Horny."

Twilight Sparkle, Starlight Glimmer, and Trixie stared at Sunset with slack jaws and glazed expressions. "Uhh...come again?" Starlight said blankly.

"I heard a lot of words there, but none of them made any sense," Trixie said.

Sunset snorted and rolled her eyes. "International action star Damme-Phuc Schitt-Krappe, controversial rap artist Nick Digga, convicted serial anal rapist Ben Dover, and popular Neighponese porn star Miso Horny. That covers everyone except Rarity, Spike, Applejack, and Wallflower. Oh, and our world's Trixie."

"I am so lost," Starlight said.

Sunset chuckled sheepishly. "Yeah, I guess it's...a little easier to keep this stuff straight when you deal with it every day," she said. "Okay, breaking it down even more, there's a movie Juniper wants to see, two concerts I'm not really that interested in, and Flash wants to watch a porno with me."

Twilight's wings bristled. "And just why does Flash Sentry want to watch something like that with you?" she demanded.

Sunset recoiled. "Chill, Twilight," she said. "Even if you and Flash were still a thing, if I were dating him again, I'd be stealing him back from you, remember?"

"Ouch, relationship drama," Trixie said. A box of popcorn appeared from seemingly nowhere. "This should be good."

Twilight took a deep breath. "Nono, it's fine, I mean, Flash is just a crush and I'm over him, besides, I..." She ducked her head and glanced quickly at Starlight, then cleared her throat. "I've met somepony...more my speed." A faint blush lit her cheeks. "I just meant...why does Flash want to watch something nasty with you specifically?"

"Oh." Sunset shrugged. "It's his latest not-so-subtle hint he wants to get back together. I mean, I think I accidentally blew off a more heartfelt attempt back at Camp Everfree? So lately he's been doing...things...that are embarrassingly blatant, trying to get me to get back together with him." She chuckled. "It's sweet, sometimes, but I'm just..." She waved a hoof around. "Not interested."

"Well then you should tell him that," Starlight said. "Don't string him along and play with his emotions if you're not gonna commit."

"I don't want to just blueball him," Sunset said. "He's already taken way too much of that between me and both Twilights." She glanced at Twilight, winced, and added, "No offense."

"None taken," Twilight said with a sigh.

"No, I want to find somebody that's right for him," Sunset said. "And get him headed in their direction, so that I won't have to friendzone him again."

"That's...manipulative, sneaky, and brilliant," Trixie said slowly. "I like it."

"And if you don't find somebody who's right for him?" Twilight asked worriedly.

"Oh, I already have somebody in mind," Sunset said. "A couple of somebodies, actually. I'm either going to set him up with Ditzy Doo or Fluttershy. Preferably Ditzy since she knows him better than I do."

"Okay," Twilight said, "but that brings us back around to the porn thing."

Sunset laughed. "Well, popular Neighponese porn star Miso Horny puts out some pretty good porn," she said. "And hey, if it gets me hot and bothered enough, maybe I'll give Flash a little bit of what he wants. Maybe."

Trixie blinked. "You...you'd let a stallion you have no interest in mount you?"

Sunset shrugged. "Sure, if I'm in the mood. I mean, there's nothing wrong with it. Heck, even Twilight's screwing the guy she's seeing right now and they both know it won't last past graduation."

Twilight's face burned bright red. "The...the other me is...se-sexually active?"

Sunset rolled her eyes. "She's a teenager, Twilight. And honestly a lot more of a social creature than you are. And, well..." She blushed, playing with her mane. "Smoking hot by human standards. I mean, woof."

Starlight raised an eyebrow. "Oh-ho," she said.

Twilight's eyes shrank to pinpricks. "Oh boy this just got awkward," she said. She looked directly at Sunset, her cheeks flaming. "Y-you mean you're...interested in—m-me? I mean—not-me me?"

Sunset's blush intensified as she ducked her head. "W-well, yeah," she said. "I mean, I'm pretty sure it's mutual? I just don't know. I mean..." She ran a hoof over the tabletop in circles. "So far she's definitely proven she's interested in guys, but I don't know if she's bi. I really, really hope she's bi." She sighed.

"Well if she's not, at least you still have this Twilight," Trixie said.

"HEY!"

"It's...not the same," Sunset said. "I mean, for one thing, our Twilight and Princess Twilight are really different. And, well...our Twilight is—no offense, Twilight—a lot sexier."

"None...taken, I think?"

"Besides...I've been human too long," Sunset said with a shrug. "I'm attracted to humans, I'm planning to spend the rest of my life as a human, so I need to hook up with a full-time, home-grown human, you know?"

"That...makes sense," Starlight said slowly.

"And anyway, I wouldn't want to horn in on anything you two have going," Sunset added with a smirk.

Starlight spluttered. "Wh-what?! We-we're not—!"

"Me and Starlight? No! That's—!" Twilight cried.

Sunset blinked. "Huh? But you said you'd met somepony you liked, who was more your speed, and you kinda did a quick-look at Starlight when you said it, so I just assumed..."

"Oh nononono!" Twilight said, shaking her head rapidly and smiling sheepishly. "I, umm...wasn't thinking about Starlight actually." She poked her hooves together and ducked her head. "I, umm, actually...was thinking about, well...Sunburst."

Five full seconds of silence dropped.

"My brother?!" Sunset cried.

"My Sunburst?" Starlight cried.

"And Trixie is OUT," Trixie said, using a smoke bomb to cover her hasty escape.

Bacon'sTrips

Author's Note

Well, here we are. By request, a sequel to The Equestria Club.

This is going to be an ongoing thing for a while, just slice of life without any real point, purpose, or destination.

One thing of note: I'm painfully aware that DHX saw fit to deny Sunset Shimmer her well-deserved wings in "Mirror Magic". I honestly don't care. As far as I'm concerned, at the end of Friendship Games she became an alicorn, so...yeah. (Yeah yeah, I know I have stories where she's still a unicorn, alright? Just give me this.)

Bacon'sTrips

"See you at school on Tuesday!" Sunset Shimmer called, waving. As her friends dispersed, Sunset faced the portal, took a deep breath, and stepped through.

Hooves met cool crystal with a sharp tap. She looked around, blinking as the spots cleared from her vision following the kaleidoscopic light show of the portal. Everything around her was crystal in hues of blue and purple and pink; some of the crystals along the walls were rough, as though poorly-cut, or perhaps grown. The room she found herself in was empty, with sunlight streaming in from a single window and a simple wooden door across from the portal. She turned to examine the portal and let out a low whistle. "Wow, Twilight," she said softly, "you went full nerd on this thing." She chuckled and shook her head, then trotted casually to the door. "So this is Twilight's castle, huh?" she mused as she opened the door, pleased at the familiar feeling of her magic. She stepped out into a hall made of more of the same crystal which stretched on and on in both directions.

Her ears folded down around her head.

"Aaaand I have no idea where anything is," she muttered. Shaking her head and sighing, she picked a direction at random and began walking. "Guess I should've let Twilight know I was coming instead of making this a surprise visit. Oh well, I'm bound to run into stairs or another pony or something sooner or later..." As she walked, she took in her surroundings. The smooth red floor contrasted nicely with the blues, pinks, and purples of the walls and columns. Where the walls were smooth, the columns were rough and asymmetrical. The odd velvet banner or tapestry hung here and there, all purple with gold tassels and trim. The windows gave the sunlight a faintly greenish tinge; wherever there was a door or window, an etched diagram of a tree's branches appeared directly above it. "Gotta say, Twilight's taste in decor is...interesting..."

Ever since Princess Twilight Sparkle had spent a weekend at her apartment with three friends from Equestria, Sunset had felt a pang of homesickness. The night they had returned home, she very nearly followed them through the portal. Since then, she had been contemplating visiting, and had even mentioned it to Twilight in the journal a couple of times. Twilight had been cheerful and enthusiastic, and had extended a blanket invitation to come through any time. "The portal's always open," Twilight had said.

And so it was, and so here Sunset was now, not ten minutes after the final bell on the Friday before a three-day weekend, roaming the halls of an unfamiliar castle in Equestria, a pony once again.

She passed by several doors and around a bend before spotting an archway up ahead that led to a spiral staircase. She stood on the landing, frowning indecisively, then shrugged and decided to go down. "Down's better than up," she muttered to herself. "Unless I end up in the dungeon." She tilted her head curiously as she trotted downstairs. "Does Twilight even have a dungeon?"

She emerged onto the landing and stepped out into a hallway identical to the one she'd just left. With a sigh, she continued trotting. "I wonder how big this place is," she muttered. "Strange I haven't run into anypony yet. I mean, in Canterlot—" she broke off, her ears twitching as she caught a sound. It was a quiet, high-pitched sound, but as she listened, it grew louder—closer. It sounded like a foal giggling.

Sunset blinked. *A foal?*

A golden flash of light went off in her face, and she reared in alarm. Then, she took a step back in shock and confusion, raising a hoof. "What...?"

A tiny white foal hovered in front of her face on massive pink wings. Her light blue-green eyes were wide and playful, but also inquisitive and mildly confused. A snow-white horn poked through a curly mane of lavender and periwinkle.

"Bbbbtbbbbtbbbbt," the foal burbled, tongue poking out cutely as she tilted her head.

Sunset's brain short-circuited as she took in the massive wings and the horn and the colorful mane. "The...the heck?! A baby alicorn?!"

The little alicorn giggled and flew around her, studying her intently. Then she did a flippy loop in the air, cooed something in baby language, and disappeared in a golden flash.

Sunset blinked. "...oooooookay," she drawled. "That happened. I guess."

"—heard her up here," a familiar voice said from around a corner. "We'd better find her quick before Twilight—"

Sunset tensed reflexively as two mares trotted into view. It took her a moment to identify them by comparison. One of them was Starlight Glimmer—she'd only met Starlight as a human before, but her hair was very distinctive. The other pony was gray with gray hair, a flat, dull expression, and a drab blue-gray dress.

"It's not as if Twilight can keep track of her any better than you can," the second pony said in a flat, dull monotone. A very familiar flat, dull monotone.

*Maud Pie. Huh.*

"I know that! But still, Twilight's pretty ticked at me for—" Starlight broke off as she noticed Sunset. "Oh! Hello, I didn't know anypony was..." Her eyes widened. "Sunset Shimmer?"

Sunset raised a hoof and waved sheepishly. "Starlight, hey. What's up?"

Starlight waved back. "I...wasn't expecting to run into you up here," she said. "Or...in Equestria at all actually..."

Sunset scratched the back of her head sheepishly. "Heheh, yeah, I...have a free three-day weekend, so I decided to come back to Equestria for a visit. I figured I'd drop in on Twilight, surprise her, hang out..."

"Oh," Starlight said. "Cool."

"Have you seen a baby alicorn?" Maud asked disinterestedly.

"Actually, yeah," Sunset said. "What's up with that?"

"It's Twilight's niece," Starlight said. "Twilight had to step out for a minute to take care of something so we're baby...sitting..." She blinked, then pointed a trembling hoof at Sunset. "Umm..."

Sunset blinked. "What?"

"Uhh...Sunset? You...you're supposed to be a unicorn, right?" Starlight asked.

"Yeah?" Sunset replied, reaching up to touch her horn with her hoof. "Why do you ask?"

"Because, umm..." Starlight's voice quavered. "You, umm...you have wi...wi...wi..."

"You're an alicorn," Maud said dispassionately.

Sunset blinked several times. "What?" She craned her head around to examine herself.

And there they were, just barely within her field of vision.

Wings.

She reflexively spread them, examining the feathers, which darkened from amber to a fiery red at the tips. Her jaw dropped. "What the...?! How did I...?!" She looked at the other two mares with the expression of a lost, confused child in a crowd. "I'm an alicorn?" she whispered.

"Umm...congratulations?" Starlight offered sheepishly. Seeing that Sunset was about to start freaking out, she stomped a hoof. "Worry about it later, we need to find Flurry before Twilight gets back!"

"Calm down," Maud said. "She won't leave the castle."

Starlight took a deep breath. "You're right," she said. "It's a big castle. We'll find her. Trixie's watching the front doors, Flurry doesn't like flying outside..." She relaxed. "Right. So as long as she didn't go through the portal or something..."

Her eyes widened. So did Sunset's.

The mares broke into a run for the nearest staircase.

* * * * *

Flash Sentry stood in front of the broken statue, hands in his pockets. "I'm sure they won't mind," he said. "Just a quick peek. Just curious. Just wanna...wanna close the book on the whole Twilight thing. Besides, it's Sunset's home too. Can't hurt to have a look, right?"

Taking a deep breath, Flash placed a hand against the smooth marble. The surface rippled, feeling more like a cold, gelatinous substance than stone. He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing. He took a step back, steeling himself...

Something flew out of the statue and collided with his chest. He yelped in alarm and raised his hands reflexively. Half a second later, he registered what had just collided with him, and frantically ducked to catch the small, delicate baby before it could touch the ground. His chest heaved violently, every nerve in his body singing with adrenaline. He stared, wide-eyed, at the curious little infant in a pink romper, who peered up at him with bright eyes. "Bamugu?" the baby said.

"Oh God," Flash moaned, looking wildly around to see if anybody was watching. Thankfully, the courtyard was mostly empty. "Oh shit, this is bad..." Without thinking, he rushed headlong into the portal, cradling the infant.

A sensation of stretching and warping overtook him as his senses were assailed by blinding light and colors and a rush of sound. Then...

"—definitely heard something in there," Sunset Shimmer's voice said, muffled as though by great distance.

"Oh Celestia, will she be okay?" another voice asked.

"If she actually went through? I doubt she'd get very far." Sunset's voice was clearer now. Flash looked up, his vision blurry. He could make out the vague shape of a door. As it came into focus, he saw it open, admitting an amber-colored horse with wings, a horn, and a huge, wavy mane of copper and gold hair. "I mean, you know what happens when what the hell?!"

"Sunset, what—oh! There she is," the other voice said, sounding relieved. "But who's that holding her?"

Flash looked down at his hands...which were now hooves, in which a tiny baby horse in a diaper lay, rocking back and forth and giggling. A faint turquoise glow wrapped itself around the baby horse, and it floated over to the amber horse. "There you are, you naughty thing," the horse said. "That mirror's a no-no for little foals, okay? —Flash?!"

It was then that Flash realized that the amber horse looked a lot like Sunset Shimmer. His mouth felt dry. "Uhh..."

"Oh hey, it's that guy we met at the music festival," the other horse in the room said. Flash glanced in her direction, recognition dawning—it was one of Twilight's friends. Only...as a horse.

"Holy shit," he rasped.

Sunset coughed. "Uhh...so not to sound ungrateful or anything, but what the heck are you doing here?"

"Uhh...baby," Flash said. "Came...came flying out of the statue. Caught...caught the baby. Figured...needed to bring it back."

"Thank you so much," the other horse said. "You saved my hide. And, well, Flurry's."

"No problem," Flash said, staring at his...hooves. "Uhh, Sunset? Little help here?"

Sunset sighed. "Look, Flash...you need to not be here right now, okay? I mean, thanks for the assist, but..." She sighed again. "I'll help you back through the portal, and when I come back in a few days, I'll explain everything. Maybe...maybe next time I come, you can come with. But just...not right now, okay?"

Flash sighed. "Yeah. Yeah, sure." He struggled to stand, then fell flat on his face. "Gah. What the hell happened to me?"

"Short version, you're a pony. I'll give you the whole story later." Flash felt an odd tingling sensation envelop him, then the sense of movement. Then he was back in the whirling, roaring kaleidoscope...

...and then he was on the ground next to the statue, hurting all over. He picked himself up, looked around, grunted, and walked away.

* * * * *

"Well. That was awkward." Sunset shook her head and turned to face Starlight, who now had Flurry balanced on her back. Flurry was rocking back and forth and chewing on Starlight's mane. "So! I guess we should...umm...be anywhere but here in this room?"

Starlight giggled. "Come on, let's go down to the library," she suggested. "It's the coziest part of the castle."

Sunset followed Starlight out and down the hall. Maud soon joined them, her gaze flat and dispassionate. "I found Flurry Heart," she said. "She's on your back eating your mane."

"Thanks," Starlight said dryly, rolling her eyes.

"So Twilight's niece is a baby alicorn?" Sunset asked. "She kinda forgot to mention that part."

"Really? Huh." Starlight shrugged. "Figured she'd have mentioned that. Took us all by surprise."

"Bau," Flurry opined.

Sunset giggled. "Now that I'm getting a good look at her, she's...she's adorable!" She leaned close and gently poked Flurry in the tummy with a hoof. "Who's a cutie baby? Who's a cutie baby? Yes you are! Yes you are!"

"Gigigigi," Flurry giggled.

After several minutes of walking, they entered a spacious library full of books, with plush cushions and chairs and tables everywhere. A blue unicorn with a silvery-white mane sat at one table, lazily flipping through a magazine. She looked up at them as they entered. "Hey Starlight," she said. "Find the baby yet?"

"Yeah, we found her," Starlight said. "Weren't you supposed to be guarding the front door?"

The unicorn shrugged. "Trixie had better things to do with her time," she said. "Besides, Flurry went up, not down, right?"

"Well...yeah," Starlight admitted. "Oh! By the way, meet Twilight's friend Sunset Shimmer!"

Trixie stood up lazily, tossing her mane and studying Sunset over the bridge of her upturned muzzle. "Hello, friend of Twilight Sparkle," she said imperiously. "You find yourself fortuitous enough to stand in the presence of the GREAT! AND POWERFUL!"

"Trixie," Sunset cut across her. "Yes, I know who you are."

"Oh? My reputation precedes me? Well well." Trixie let off a short, smug laugh. "Then perhaps Trixie will favor you with a demonstration of amazing and fantastic feats of magic the likes of—"

"Trix?" Starlight interrupted, holding up a hoof. "Check yourself before you wreck yourself." She pointed insistently at Sunset.

"Hmm?" Trixie studied Sunset more closely. Sunset smirked and spread her wings.

Trixie's jaw dropped. Her ears laid back. "Oh, horseapples," she pouted. With a dramatic sigh, she flopped back down at the table, burying herself in her magazine.

"Pinion envy. Not a pretty sight," Maud said emotionlessly.

Flurry burbled.