The Ticket Master - Real Episode (3)

A/N: There were parts in this episode where the dialogue of certain characters lacked ponyisms. (Somepony, anypony, etc.) I made adjustments where necessary, but I felt compelled to alert you that the dialogue may not exactly match what was said in the episode because of this. For more Real Episodes, be sure to watch me. I plan to do the whole series over time.

The Ticket Master

Chapter 2: Plus One Guest

“The Grand Galloping Gala!” the two excited ponies shouted again, hopping up and down. Spike belched again, two shiny golden tickets materializing in front of the dragon.

Spike noted them. “Look, two tickets.”

“Wow, I’ve never been to the Gala before,” Twilight said fondly. “Have you, Spike?”

“No, and I plan to keep it that way,” Spike said, arms crossed. “And I don’t want any of that girly, frilly, frou-frou nonsense.”

“Aw, come on, Spike. A dance would be nice,” Twilight reasoned.

“Nice?” Applejack said loudly, grinning ear to ear. “It’s a heap good more than just nice! I’d love to go. Land sakes, if I had an apple stand set up, ponies would be chowin’ our tasty vittles till the cows came home. D’you have any idea how much business I could drum up for Sweet Apple Acres? Why, with all that money, we could do a heap of fixin’ up around here.” She looked over at the orchard barn. “We could replace that saggy old roof! And Big Macintosh could replace that saggy old plow. And Granny Smith could replace that saggy old hip!” Her voice became dreamy. “Why, I’d give my left hind leg to go to that Gala.”

If Spike wasn’t going, Twilight still had an extra ticket. “Oh, well in that case… would you like to-”

“Whoa!” Both ponies looked up. Quite suddenly, Rainbow Dash was sitting on top of them, apples and saddle-baskets alike scattered on the ground. “Are we talking about the Grand Galloping Gala?”

“Rainbow Dash,” Applejack said heatedly, standing up. “You told me you were too busy to help me harvest apples.” Her voice became suspicious. “What were you busy doin’? Spyin’?”

“No,” the pegasus said defensively. “I was busy napping.” She gestured to a stray branch above where Twilight and Applejack were previously, and where she presumably fell out of upon hearing about the Gala. She walked over to Twilight. “And I just happened to hear that you have an extra ticket?”

“Yeah, but-”

“Yes!” Rainbow shouted, doing a small flip in the air. “This is so awesome! The Wonderbolts perform at the Grand Galloping Gala every year!” Her eyes became unfocused, lost in thought. “I can see it now… everypony would be watching the skies, their eyes riveted on the Wonderbolts, but then, inward flies: Rainbow Dash! I would draw their attention with my super speed strut, then I would mesmerize them with my fantastic filly-flash! And for my grand finale: the Buccaneer Blaze! The ponies would go wild. The Wonderbolts would insist that my signature moves be incorporated into their routine. And then… welcome me as their newest member.” Her voice became normal again, and her eyes refocused. “Don’t you see, Twilight? This could be my one chance to show ‘em my stuff! You gotta take me!”

She was pulled back by Applejack, her tail in the farmpony’s teeth. “Hold on just one pony-pickin’ minute here,” she said angrily, spitting out the multicolored tail. “I asked for that ticket first!”

“So? That doesn’t mean you own it!”

“Oh, yeah? Well I challenge you to a hoof-wrassle.” She glared at Rainbow. “Winner get’s the ticket.” She moved over to a nearby stump. Resting her elbow on it, she raised her left hoof. Rainbow immediately flew over and they instantly began wrassling.

“Girls!” Twilight exclaimed, pushing the two ponies away from one another. “These are my tickets. I’ll decide who gets it, thank you very much. Whoever has the best reason to go should get the ticket, don’t you think?”

“Drummin’ up business for the farm?” Applejack persuaded.

“A chance to audition for the Wonderbolts?”

“Money to fix Granny’s hip!”

“Living the dream!”

Twilight looked at the two eager ponies. “Oh, my. Those are all pretty good reasons, aren’t they?” Her stomach gave a growl. She chuckled. “Listen to that. I don’t know about you, but I can’t make important decisions on an empty stomach, so I’ll, uh, think about it over lunch and get back to you two. Okay?” She walked back toward town.

“Okay,” Applejack and Rainbow said in unison. They glared at each other band began hoof wrassling once more.

“So, who are you gonna give the ticket to, Twilight?” Spike asked, tickets in hand and resting on the unicorn’s back. They were walking through town.

“I don’t know, Spike, but I really can’t think straight when I’m hungry.” They walked past Sugarcube Corner. “So, where should we eat?” As soon as she said that, a great pink ball of energy shot out of the bakery door, tackling Twilight.

Pinkie Pie, Twilight, and Spike all rested on the ground in a great lump. The two tickets gently floated down and rested on Pinkie’s nose. “Aah! Bats!” she screamed as she got up and began running around. “Bats on my face! Heeelp! Wait!” she paused, looking at the two tickets now laying side by side on the cobblestone street. “These aren’t… tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala?” Her eyes lit up. “It’s the most amazing, incredible, tremendous, super fun wonderful  terrifically humongous party in all of Equestria! I’ve always, always always wanted to go!” She began to sing.

“Oh, the Grand Galloping Gala is the best place for me,

“Oh, the Grand Galloping Gala is the best place for me!

“Hip hip, hooray! It’s the best place for me,

“For Pinkie!”

She stopped singing, but didn’t stop talking. “With decorations like streamers and fairy lights and pinwheels and piñatas and pin-cushions. With goodies like sugar cubes and sugar canes and sundaes and sun-beams and sarsaparilla! And I get to play my favorite-est of favorite fantabulous games like pin the tail on the pony!” She continued singing her song, and when she was done, spoke to Twilight. “Oh, thank you, Twilight! It’s the most wonderful-est gift ever!”

Spike bent down and picked up the tickets. Twilight responded to Pinkie, “Um, actually-” She was cut off by a great, shuddering gasp. Behind Spike, Rarity had seen the tickets in the little dragon’s claws.

“Are these what I think they are?” she asked incredulously.

“Uh-” Twilight began.

“Yes, yes, yes!” Pinkie shouted joyfully. “Twilight’s taking me to the Grand Galloping Gala in Canterlot!”

“The Gala?” Rarity asked, eyes wide. Her expression immediately became nonchalant. Snout in the air, she replied, “I design ensembles for the Gala every year, but I’ve never had the opportunity to attend. Oh, the society, the culture, the glamour! It’s where I truly belong.” She giggled, playing with her mane. “Where I’m destined to meet… him!”

“Him!” Pinkie shouted enthusiastically, but then became curious. “Who?”

“Him…” Rarity ‘explained’, eyes dreamy. “I would stroll into the Gala, and everypony would wonder: ‘Who is that mysterious mare?’. They would never guess that I was just a simple pony, from little old Ponyville. Why, I would cause such a sensation, that I would be invited for an audience with Princess Celestia herself! And the princess would be so taken with the style and elegance, that she would introduce me… to him! Her nephew, the most handsome, eligible, unicorn stallion in Canterlot! Our eyes would meet, our hearts would melt, our courtship would be magnificent. He would ask for my hoof in marriage, and of course I would say: yes! We would have a royal wedding, befitting a princess, which is what I would become upon marrying him! The stallion of my dreams.”

She looked at her fellow unicorn. “Twilight! I simply can’t believe that you would invite Pinkie Pie so she can… party,” she said, distaste etched onto the last word. “And prevent me from meeting my true love? How could you?” She turned around, snout in the air.

Behind spike, a white rabbit snatched the tickets out of Spike’s hands, and raced over to its owner. “Hey!” Spike called. The rabbit climbed onto the back of a timid yellow pegasus, who happened to be nearby. It moved onto her head, bowing low so the pony could see the tickets.

Fluttershy gasped. “Angel, these are perfect!”

Twilight said to Pinkie and Rarity who were now looking at Fluttershy, “Um, listen guys. I haven’t decided who to give the extra ticket to.”

Both ponies shot around. “You haven’t?” They said together. Rarity smiling, Pinkie frowning.

“Um…” a quiet voice said. “Excuse me, Twilight. I would just like to ask, um, I mean, if it would be alright, if you haven’t given it to somepony else…”

“You?” Rarity cut her off. “You want to go to the Gala?”

“Oh,” Fluttershy said, seeing danger. “No.” Her rabbit, Angel, gave her a light kick on her hoof. “I- I mean, yes. Or, actually… kind of. You see, it’s not so much the Grand Galloping Gala, as it is the wondrous private gated garden that surrounds the dance. The flowers are said to be the most fragrant and beautiful in all of Equestria! For the night of the Gala, and that night alone, will they all be in bloom! And that’s just the flora; don’t get me started on the fauna! There’s loons and toucans and bitterns, oh my! Hummingbirds that can really hum. And buzzards that can really buzz. And blue jays, and red jays, green jays, pink jays, and pink flamingos!”

“Gee, Fluttershy,” Twilight said uncomfortably to her friend who was now hovering in the air, hugging Angel tightly. “It sounds… beautiful?”

“Wait just a minute!” Rainbow said, standing on a nearby rooftop.

“Rainbow Dash,” Twilight said accusingly. “Were you following me?”

“No. I mean, yes. I mean, maybe! Look, it doesn’t matter. I couldn’t risk a goody four-shoes like you giving those tickets away to anypony!”

“Wait just another minute.” Applejack walked up.

“Applejack!” Twilight exclaimed. “Were you following me too?”

“No,” she said. “I was followin’ this one.” She pointed an accusing hoof at Rainbow. “To make sure she didn’t try any funny business. Still tryin’ to take my ticket,” she muttered.

Rainbow heard. “Your ticket?” She hovered in the air angrily.

“But Twilight’s taking me!” Pinkie said loudly. All five of her friends surrounded the purple unicorn, arguing amongst themselves. Twilight was especially surprised at Fluttershy, who wasn’t so timid when the Gala, or the garden rather, was on the line. She had enough.

“Quiiiet!” she screamed.

Pinkie continued blabbering. “And then I said, ‘oatmeal, are you crazy?’” Twilight gave her a look. “Oh.”

“Girls,” Twilight reasoned. “There’s no use in arguing.”

“But Twiiilight,” Rarity whined.

Twilight cut her off. “This is my decision. And I’m gonna make it on my own, and I certainly can’t think straight with all this noise!” Her stomach growled yet again. “Not to mention hunger. Now go on, shoo!” Her friends walked away, offended. “And don’t worry! I’ll figure this out!” she called. She was alone. “Somehow.”