Hotline Equestria

by Scootaloo9

Rating: mature
Tags: Adventure, Crossover, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Rainbow Dash, Original Character
Length: 3448

Randar, an ordinary Pegasus who participated in the war, now has to wipe out the Equestrian mafia. Will he survive? Or will he die trying?

This is Hotline Miami ,set in equestria, except some things might be changed like the main character who is not Jacket. But is my OC. But as time will go on the main cast will take part in the story. After losing his girlfriend,Randar signed up with "50 blessings"but after doing so, he started getting messages left on his answering machine which told him to do innocent things, but we're actually attacks on the Equestrian Mafia's hideouts and businesses. Will Randar be able to fight through the Mafia or will he die trying? Find out ON:"Hotline Equestria"!

Published 2017-06-20 17:40:11 UTC
Last updated 2017-10-09 16:39:32 UTC

"First blood"

April 3rd. 1989

Equestria-Fillydelphia

Randar is lying in his bed awake after having the weirdest dream of being in a room with a mare with a horse mask,a stallion with a white jacket and blue T-shirt wearing a owl mask and a stallion with a Letterman jacket and a rooster mask who asked Randar questions. Randar got on his 4 hooves after hearing his answering machine go off in the living room of his apartment. Randar puts on his white and blue baseball tee and heads to the answering machine. He presses the button on his answering machine

"You have,1 new message. *Beep*.Hi this is "Tim" at the bakery. The cookies you ordered should be delivered by now... It came with a list of ingredients. Make sure to read them carefully..Have great day."

Randar walks to his apartment door and opens it to find a box in front of the door

"Cookies huh? I don't really wanna believe that."

Randar said after looking at the box with a smug little smile on his face. He opens the box to find a white rubber rooster mask in it and a note next to it which reads

"Your first target is a briefcase in the metro. Discretion is of essence. Leave target at point F-32 in the dumpster. Failure is not an option. We'll be watching you. "

Randar finishes reading the note and grabs the mask with his right wing and hiding the mask under the wing. Randar then proceeds to go to the metro.

*at the metro*

Randar is behind the front door ,preparing for what's coming. He puts the rooster mask on his head and runs through the front door, knocking down the stallion mobster in front of the door.

"Ah w-what the fuck?"

were the mobster's last words before getting his head smashed on the floor multiple times by Randar until the monster's head broke and blood started flowing out the monster's head with pieces of brain matter on the floor. Randar grabs the baseball bat that the mobster had and makes his way to the bathroom and eavesdrops behind the door. He heard a mobster sigh behind the door

"Oh Masha why did you have to leave me?Ahh idi nahhoui. "

Randar then barges into the room and smack's the mobster with the bat who was taking a piss and who 's head is now broken with blood flowing out and who's head's in the toilet he was pissing in .Randar looks at the dead mobster and says

"Having a shitty day huh? Guess I made it worse"

He then moves on to the next floor where he is greeted by another mobster next to the stairs who Randar bashes into the wall and then smashes his head with the bat, Blood from the monster's head is now all over the wall. But it seems there was another mobster when Randar turned around who he also beat down to the cold hard floor, killing the mobster. Randar was about to enter a corridor until he heard

"ugh this is so boring. Remind Me why we are here comrade. "

-"We are here to protect our turf you idiot"

Randar heard 2 mobsters so he went around the corner and bashed both they're heads in, or so he thought cause 1 of the mobsters was alive and attempted to stab Randar but Randar quickly dropped the bat and blocked the oncoming attack and then turned the knife towards the mobster's neck and since Randar was stronger he stabbed the mobster in the throat and pushed him onto the floor. He walked to the next corridor and was greeted by two mobsters who charged at Randar and a man holding the briefcase in the back of the corridor. Randar threw the knife he was holding at 1 of the monster's heads and then Randar punched the mobster running at him which knocked him down and then brutally beat the monster's head in with the pipe the mobster was carrying. He then walked over to the man with the briefcase,and took it from him by force. He went back downstairs and got greeted by 2 more mobsters who met they're fate as well. Randar took the briefcase to the dumpster and put it inside but he heard someone

"Who's there? I can hear you! I know you're there! "

Randar went around the corner and saw a homeless stallion with a baseball bat who attacked Randar. Randar didn't want to kill an innocent pony so he knocked the pony down and then knocked the homeless pony out. He then started heading towards a nearby convenience store to get a snack cause he's hungry. He takes off the rooster mask and hides it.

*At the convenience store*

Once Randar entered the store he spotted a Rainbow maned Pegasus looking for something. But he ignores her and walks to the counter where he's greeted by his friend Beard :

"Hi there man! Haven't seen you around. Thought something might have happened to you. You seemed really down after losing your girlfriend *Randar is starting to give Beard an angry stare*Don't remember seeing you after that... *Beard notices the stare from Randar now*Maybe we should talk about something else. So, out for a midnight snack ,huh? *Randar nods*Oh and don't worry about paying, it's on the house... "

Randar grabs a bag of chips and leaves but turns around for a sec to receive a strange look from the rainbow maned pony. Randar turns around and heads home. On the way home Randar passes a few mobsters who ignore Randar. A few hours later he's back home again. He eats his chips whilst watching TV for some time and then he goes to sleep. But now there's 3 questions stuck in his head which prevent him from sleeping.

"Do I like hurting people?Who's leaving messages on my answering machine? Why do I like to do this so fucking much? " Randar will forever be asking these questions, until he finds answers...

Babysitting death

April 8th 1989
Equestria-Fillydeplhia

Randar still had those questions stuck in his head whilst trying to sleep but was woken up by his answering machine, he went ,put on his baseball tee and grabbed a slice of pizza from a pizza box which he got from the pizzeria yesterday, and ate the slice. He proceeded to listen to the message

"You have,1new message *beep*.Hi it's 'Miranda' .I need a babysitter... I've got a couple of rascals here on my hooves that I want you to discipline. The house is west of the city on 17th street. Please come quick and be discreet.*click*"

Randar walked off and grabbed his rooster mask and walked out but was greeted by a box in front of the door. He opened the box and saw a monkey mask with slicked back hair and a cigar in it's mouth. Along with it were black leather gloves for his front hooves and light blue sneakers for his back hooves. He was curios of this and went back into his apartment and put his rooster mask back in the front right corner of the bathroom in the basket he had there. Randar went back outside and put on the sneakers and gloves, took him a few minutes but he did it. For some odd reason, after putting on the items he felt... Fresh, a feeling he's never had before. He then shrugged and grabbed the monkey mask and like last time, hid it under his right wing.

*at the house*

Randar was outside putting on his mask, once he slipped it on his head he felt... New, like he could run a mile or... Jump from obstacle to obstacle and never stopping for anything, he felt like in he was in a adrenaline rush mixed with cocaine or something cause he felt so alive so... Randar had trailed off thinking about these effects and shook his head and started to enter the building. He saw no pony once he entered so he ran to the stairwell, but unaware of it he was running a lot faster than he used to run. He went up the stairs to the next floor. Once he was upstairs he turned left and ran to the door at the end of the hall he was in. He put his ear against the door and his ear was at the same place on the mask as inside the mask for Randar. He heard hoofsteps and some bored moaning. Randar took his chances and opened the door but didn't walk in

"Huh? Who's there? Show yourself!"

Randar stood next to the door and heard the hoofsteps getting closer so he ran through the door and punched the mobster with a strong punch from above which knocked the mobster down face first in front of Randar's hooves. Randar tapped his head and heard and angry growl from the mobster, Randar smirked a bit and grabbed the mobster's head and twisted his neck till he heard a loud crack, the mobster was dead and Randar ran into the room to ki-

"Hey who are you asshole!? "

Randar saw a mobster with a shotgun who tried to shoot Randar but Randar dove to the right, dodging the shot. He his behind a sofa and waited for the mobster to get a little closer.

"Come out you Little monkey! I got you a banana!"

Now Randar actually wanted a banana but he didn't let that distract him cause he jumped over the sofa and flew at the mobster and pushed him at a wall, knocking the mobster off his feet and onto the floor. Randar took the monster's shotgun and started holding the butt of the shotgun. He tapped the mobster who was on the floor with the shotgun butt

"Do you want my banana? "

Randar said after the mobster looked at him and then bashed the mobster's brains in with the butt of the shotgun. Knowing he should move on, he did just that. He saw the open door where the mobster with the shotgun came from. He headed through the room to another door and also eavesdropped on the door. He heard more hoofsteps and the sound of an assault rifle being loaded. Randar walked in and saw the mobster who also saw Randar

"Who a-"

The mobster was cut off cause Randar threw his shotgun at him. He went over to the mobster and crushed his head against the wall. He went around the corner and stopped for a moment when he saw a mobster sitting on the couch to Randar's left.

"Whoa who the fuck are yo-"

He was cut off cause his jaw was impaled against the wall cause of a twisted neck and also a jumpkick that made him hit the wall in the first place, courtesy of the dirty little monkey maniac. He went to the next room door and just walked in, to his leftt was a mobster with a shotgun and to his right was a mobster with a lead pipe sitting on a white couch.

"Who the fuck are you? It ain't nightmare night,Get lost! "

Randar heard from the shotgunned before the face of that man was nothing but bruises after Randar dealt with him, the mobster with the lead pipe ran at the monkey masked pegasus and attempted to hit him which was dodged and countered by grabbing the lead pipe from him and smacking the man in the crotch and then an uppercut from below which was the killing blow, he turned back to the mobster on the floor in pain and continued to beat that mobster to death with the pipe. Blood was now all over the floor and Randar let out a small giggle. Looking around and listening... The mobsters were all dead.Randar got up and ran out the building.before he went out the door,he removed the mask from his face and hid it and left.He was hungry,he wanted another pizza so he thought about going to the pizzeria. So he started heading there.

*at the pizzeria*

Randar walks in and sees a Rainbow maned Pegasus eating pizza at a table.Randar remembered her from the convenience store after his last task. Ignoring her,Randar walks to the counter to strangely enough see his friend 'Beard' standing there with a pizzeria employee hat on.

"Hi there welcome. What pizza would you like sir? "
"Uhh I'll take a pepperoni pizza with some onion peels please. "
"Please wait sir, your pizza will soon be ready. Oh and don't worry about paying, it's on the house!"
"Thanks Beard. "
Beard walks into the back, I just wait at the counter for my pizza.

"Who's Beard?"
Randar heard from behind him to his left. It was the Rainbow maned pony who asked Randar that. Randar ignored what she said and waited.
"Uhh ,hello? I asked you something!"
The rainbow maned pony said to Randar. All she got for an answer was a groan from Randar.
"Fine then, douche. "
She said before walking out the pizzeria.
"Thank Celestia. That's 1 less thing I gotta worry about" Randar thought to himself and started smiling a bit and sees his pizza coming.
"Here you go sir. Enjoy the pizza and stay safe out there!"
Randar walked out with his box of pizza and walked home. On the way home he encountered the rainbow maned pony again who gave Randar an angry stare. Randar just kept smiling a good amount and walking home whilst not caring about the rainbow maned pony. When he got home, he simply ate his pizza and 'hit the hay'.

Author's Note

The monkey mask and it's effects are just made up by me. It's not a real Hotline Miami mask

The speedrun

April 16th 1989
Equestria, Fillydelphia

Randar wakes up from his bed, throws his blanket against the wall and lays back down grabbing his head with hooves. He felt like he's having a headache. He felt very sick. Eventually after a few minutes, he got up and threw his blue and white shirt on. He then looked out one of his windows and saw what seemed to be a gray van speeding away from the front of his apartment. He raised an eyebrow but eventually stopped caring and walked to his kitchen. There, an empty pizza box layed. On the kitchen desk there was a newspaper clipping. He went over and started reading it. "...Six bodies found on East 7th St... Police suspects ties to illegal drug trade..." He put the clipping back down and walked over to the sink, where he filled a glass of water and drank it instantly. He then went to the bathroom where he washed his face and looked at the mirror "Who am I? What am I doing?" Randar says to himself. He then hears a familiar noise coming from the living room. He walks over to the answering machine and picks up the phone "You have one new message!*Beep* This is 'Thomas' from the methadone clinic.We've scheduled a short meeting for you tonight. We're at Nw 184th Street, Apt 105. And don't worry... We know discretion is of impo-" Randar slams the phone down and goes to grab his monkey mask. He then stuffs it under his shirt and goes outside. The smell of trash and smoken cigarettes filled his nostrils as he went downstairs to his Delorean. He opened the door and got in.

*15 minutes later*

He arrives at to the selected apartment. He puts on his mask and other gear as he rushes through the front door, knocking the mobster in front of it down. He nearly jumps when he sees a mobster running at him almost right in his face with a knife. He manages to punch him in time to knock him down. He then grabs his knife and repedetly stabs the mobsters face. He then gets off that mobster too see the other mobster pointing a Mac 10 at him "Die motherfu-" the mobster got cut off as a knife was shoved into the left side of his skull. Randar leaves the knife in his skull and grabs his newly found Mac 10 and runs down the hall, he hops against the right side of the wall and sees a mobster with a shotgun who he riddles with bullets. He then looks around the corner to see a mobster smoking and looking away from him. He drops his gun and walks up to him, grabs his cigarette and stuffs it in the monster's eye whilst it was still lit. The mobster scream's in pain and falls on his back where Randar crushes his skull with his hoof. He then slowly walks up to the bathroom door and eavesdrops behind it. It sounded like some pony was pissing so he walked through the door, saw the mobster and started dunking him and beating his head into the toilet and eventually drowning him. He then dusts off his shirt and heads out the bathroom. He sees two staircases one on the left and one on the right. He takes the staircase on the left and finds what seemed to be a kitchen. He sees a pot of boiling water and grabs it. He runs through the door on his left and sees a mobster with a pipe. He throws the boiling water at his face and he brakes down crying in pain,screaming while holding his face. The screaming was very loud and Randar could hear voices coming closer, he grabs the mobster's pipe and waits by the door. One mobster comes through the door with an assault rifle and Randar pulls him against the wall and smashes his face with his pipe a few times and he sees that the mobster pissed himself. He looks at the mobster for a second but then shakes his head looks at the assault rifle. He picks it up right as another mobster comes through the door but this time with a knife,he gasps when he sees Randar aiming at him but screams "GUYS HE'S-"Randar fires a bullet directly into the mobster's head. Mobster's start running through the door as Randar hides behind a wall and blind fires at them. When he runs out of ammo he sees nopony alive in that room anymore. He grabs a shotgun from one of the dead bodies and goes through another door he finds a dead mobster on the floor with a silenced pistol next to him. He goes through another door and sees a mobster with a bat. He smashes his face against the wall with the butt of his shotgun and then shoots his head with it. He then goes to a room with the door open. He peeks through and sees a mobster and a dead body on a chair next to a desk. He shoots the mobster's head clean off and then grabs a Rubber mask on the desk next to the dead body. He hides it and walks through the door and shoots the last mobster, creating a bloody mess in another bathroom. He then goes downstairs and heads out but he stops dead in his tracks when he hears a scream coming from his right. He looked over and saw a mare with yellow fur and a light pink mane, looking absolutely terrified. "Yo-.... You... Aren't... O-on-one of them..... A-are you?"the mare asks. But Randar is not in the mood to answer questions and punches her right in the face and knocks her out. "Nothing personal. Just business. "Randar says and gets in his Delorean.

*30 minutes later*

Randar arrives at 'VHS palace'. Stupid name but a cool place. He walks inside and sees his good old friend at the counter and he also sees a pony laying down on a couch next the counter, playing Video games. He walks over to the counter and waves his hoof at 'Beard'. "Hey Bro! Good to see you again! Did you hear about the 'massacre' the other night? Buncha mobster's I heard. No loss, if you ask me!*Randar nods*They said some maniac wearing a rubber mask did it! Sounds like a scene straight from a Slasher flick, Heh!*Randar rolls his eyes*Oh yeah, I have the perfect film for you!The one on the desk... *Randar looks at the cassette on the desk*Take it! It's on the house.Enjoy yourself, Bro!" Randar nods and grabs the cassette and leaves. When he was outside,he really felt like some pony was watching him, but he shrugs it off and drives home.