As the morning sun peers over the horizon, illuminating the city of Canterlot with a heavenly glow, ponies emerge from their beds to gaze out their windows at the exquisite sight. From the comfort of their luxurious homes, they listen as flocks of birds fly up from the trees and into the amber sky. Then, a sudden cry for help fills the streets, alarming everyone nearby. The ponies jolt and look down from their windows as a suited stallion gallops down the bricked streets shouting at the top of his lungs. “Help! Somepony alert the Royal Guard! The Canterlot Museum’s had a break-in! Help!”
The Canterlot Museum: a home for countless artifacts of unprecedented value, has never been looted since the building has been built. However, today, somepony managed the impossible. Crowds of well-dressed ponies gather around the entrance to the museum as guards adorned with golden, plated armor and spears stand out front. Inside, photographers in brown suits take pictures of the crime scene: a now empty glass case that once contained a famed portrait of Princess Celestia. Two royal guards approach the photographers, motioning their heads for them to move aside. Obeying their order, they investigate the seemingly, untouched case. “You think it was him?” One guard asks the other.
“Who else do you think could’ve done this? I know it was him. You wanna know why?”
“Why?” The guard points down to a little, white card sitting beside the case. He picks it up off the sleek, tiled floor, and holds it before the other guard’s face. His eyes run across the text printed onto the card, and they widen with surprise. The card reads: ‘With warm regards, The Shade’. “This . . . this is not good.”
“You think?”
“What are we going to tell the princess?”
“I don’t know! Think of something!” The two guards jolt with fear as a shadow flies over them, and they look upward through the glass ceiling to see what they had feared most. Princess Celestia lands at the entrance with a thud kicking up clouds of dust as she folds her wings. After straightening out her posture, she approaches the two guards who are examining the glass case as the clopping of her golden shoes echoes throughout the room.
“So,” Princess Celestia begins. “What have you two found?”
“I-It’s definitely The Shade, Your Highness.”
Princess Celestia sighs. “I should have figured as much.”
“What are we gonna do, Your Highness? This has been going on for months now, and none of us have been able to track him down.”
“No need to worry, soldier. I have a plan to capture this ‘Shade of Canterlot’.”
“Your Majesty!” Princess Celestia smiles as a familiar voice calls to her from the entrance. Her faithful student gallops wildly towards her with her wings spread out from panic. “I’m sorry I’m late,” she says whilst skidding across the tiles to a halt as she tries to catch her breath.
“Late? Not at all, Princess Twilight. You’ve come at the perfect time, as we’ve concluded who is responsible for this heinous act.”
“Please don’t tell me it was. . .” Princess Celestia regretfully nods her head, and Princess Twilight sighs with frustration. “Something needs to be done about this. This ‘Shade’ character has been running rampant for far too long.”
“Which is precisely why I’ve decided to put ‘you’ on the case, Princess Twilight.”
“Me. . ?” Princess Twilight’s eyes widen and jaw drops. “I-I don’t know if I’m the right mare for the job. I mean, I’m not trying to question you or anything. I’m just, you know, a bit taken back by this. I-I’m not sure if I have the skill or expertise to catch him.” Princess Celestia waves her hoof to the two guards, and they salute before marching off.
“I believe you are more than qualified to capture this thief. After all, your vast knowledge surpasses many of ours. I feel a brilliant mind such as yours is perfect for this case.”
“Oh . . . well, I-I suppose you’re right. Don’t worry, Princess Celestia, I won’t let you down.” Twilight puffs out her chest with confidence.
“Also, you will not be alone in this endeavor.”
“Really? That’s great! Who else is partnered with me?”
“Good morning, ladies!” A cheerful voice shouts near Princess Twilight, causing her ears to ring and her body to jolt. She looks over to see a young stallion with a caramel-brown coat of fur, and a bulky, messy dark brown mane. He’s dressed in a violet, collared shirt, along with a vest sewn with thin stripes of black and gold. As Princess Twilight glares at him for his outburst, his big smile vanishes as he clears his throat. “My apologies, Your Highness. That was probably a tad too loud.”
“Yeah . . . a ‘tad’. Are you lost? You’re walking right in the middle of a crime scene, you know?”
“Princess Twilight,” says Princess Celestia. “This is your partner.” Princess Twilight, dumbfounded, glances to the stallion, then back to Princess Celestia.
“Him?” asks Princess Twilight.
“Detective, why don’t you introduce yourself?”
“Yes, Your Highness!” The stallion salutes. “Firstly, Princess Twilight, it’s an honor to make your acquaintance. I am clueless.”
“. . . I’m sorry, what?” Twilight asks as she raises an eyebrow in confusion.
“I said I’m clueless.”
“Okay . . . but, weren’t you going to tell me your name?”
“I did, Your Highness.”
“No . . . no, you didn’t.”
“Sure I did. I said I’m clueless.”
“You’re . . . clueless as to what your own name is?”
“Oh! I see what’s going on here.” He then reaches his muzzle into the pocket of his vest, and pulls out a shiny, silver badge in his teeth. “I am Detective Clueless, Your Highness!” Princess Twilight squints as she further examines the suspicious-looking badge, as she notices his name has been placed onto it with a sticker. Not only that, but the badge itself doesn’t appear to be an official badge.
“Is this . . . a toy badge?”
“Besides the point.” Detective Clueless quickly shoves the badge back into his pocket. “Princess Celestia has given me the honor of being your partner-in-crime for this investigation! And I can already tell we’re going to make a great team! We’re gonna capture this ‘Blade of Canterlot’ with ease!”
“. . . It’s ‘Shade’. . . We’re looking for The ‘Shade’ of Canterlot.”
“Him too!” Princess Twilight sighs as she places her hoof over her eyes in agitation. “So, what are we waiting for, Princess! Let’s get to this!”
“Yeah, can you just give us a moment, Clueless?”
“It’s um. . . It’s ‘Detective’ Clueless—”
“Please!”
“Yes, yes, of course! I’ll uh . . . I’ll investigate all possible entrances for a sign of a break-in.”
“Yes, go do that.” Once Detective Clueless is far enough away, Princess Twilight turns to Princess Celestia. “Your Majesty, a-are you sure that—”
“I already know what you’re concerned about, Twilight, and the answer is yes.”
“But there’s no way this colt is knowledgeable enough to handle something like this.”
“Twilight, I don’t quite approve of your preconceptions of this stallion. You do wrong to speak poorly of him behind his back.”
“I know—I apologize—but this can’t be right!”
“Hey, Princess Twilight!” Clueless calls and waves from the entrance as both she and Princess Celestia turn to look at him. “I’ve found out exactly how the perpetrator got in to the museum! He just waltzed right on in! These doors are left wide open!”
“They’re open, because ‘we’ had to get inside!”
“Ah . . . good thinking. . ! I like the way your voice echoes! It sounds lovely!”
“Clueless!”
“It’s Detec—!”
“I know! Just. . ! Please!”
“Yup! No problem!”
Princess Twilight rolls her eyes and looks to Princess Celestia with a look of hopelessness. “Trust me,” says Princess Celestia. “I sense great promise with this stallion.”
“Unless you mean promise of ‘failure’, I’m not too sure what you mean.” Princess Twilight sarcastically remarks.
“Perhaps he might not be as intelligent as you, but that doesn’t mean you should jump to conclusions about him. Out of every other detective I could have chosen, I know that ‘he’ is the one that will put an end to this ‘Shade of Canterlot’.” Princess Twilight sighs as she considers her words. “All I ask is that you give him a chance, Twilight. You may be surprised by what he can accomplish if the both of you work together.”
Princess Twilight smiles. “You’re right, Princess Celestia. We’ll solve this case.”
“Thank you, Twilight.”
“Hey!” Detective Clueless calls and waves to the princesses once again. “So, I just wanted to apologize for the comment on your lovely voice! I think it sounds perfect just the way it is without all the echoing!”
“I get it!”
“I’m just saying, you know! You’ve got a nice voice!”
“Alright! Thank you, Clueless!”
“. . . Do you think my voice sounds cool with the echo?!”
“I really don’t know, Clueless! And I really don’t think it—”
“Hello! Princess Twilight!” Detective Clueless yells at the top of his lungs. “We’re gonna go catch The Blade of Canterlot!” He waits until his echo finishes reverberating throughout the museum. “What do you think, huh?!”
“Yeah, it’s great—but we’re not looking for The ‘Blade’ of Canterlot! I told you, we’re looking for The ‘Shade’ of Canterlot!”
“Got it! We’ll get the Shade first! Then the Blade later!” Princess Twilight can feel her agitation building inside of her, but takes in a deep breath to calm herself as she looks to Princess Celestia with a nervous smile.
From beyond the museum, a dark figure stands atop the rooftop of a neighboring building watching the commotion below. The figure smirks, and lowers the brim of his black top hat before whipping himself around, allowing his dark cape to flow behind him with the breeze.
Detective Clueless crawls on his belly as he examines the sleek, tiled floor of the museum. His eyes focused intently on the speckled marble as he skitters around the room like a lost insect. Princess Twilight groans as she painfully watches as Clueless gains the awkward stares from several guards and photographers. Princess Celestia puts her hoof onto Princess Twilight’s shoulder, as she turns to look up to her. “Good luck to you both; and please, be careful out there,” says Princess Celestia.
“We will, Your Majesty,” says Princess Twilight as Princess Celestia leaves the museum and launches herself soaring into the sky. “. . . We’re going to need it.”
“Pardon me, everypony!” Detective Clueless shouts as he continues to crawl around the floor. “I’m on a hunt!” Finally losing her patience, Princess Twilight stands in the way of Clueless’ path as he halts and looks up at her. “Your Princess Majesty!” Clueless jumps up to his hooves.
“Clueless, what are you doing?”
“Searching for clues, Ma’am!” Clueless salutes as his eyes fail to make contact with hers, leading him to stare directly above her head.
“Clueless.”
“Yes, Ma’am!”
“You don’t have to talk to me like you’re in the Royal Guard.”
“My apologies, Ma’am!”
“. . . How is this even supposed to help you find any clues?”
“Because, you see, if I scour every spec of this museum, I’m bound to find something out of the ordinary.”
“So, you’re literally going to stick your face in every corner of this museum.”
“Oh, I haven’t gotten to the corners yet. I save those until the end. I start in the middle, then work my way outward.”
“Right . . . okay, well, I’m going to do some actual investigation at the point of interest here. You can go ahead and do your . . . prowling.”
“With pleasure, Ma’am!” Clueless proceeds to get back down to his stomach and continue his mad crawling as he glares at the floor. Twilight shakes her head in disappointment, and uses her magic to poof a magnifying glass out of thin air. As she further investigates the glass case that once held the famed portrait, Twilight cannot resist the urge to grumble to herself.
“I’ll give him a chance, but so far, I have a feeling he’s going to be a serious hindrance in this investigation.”
“Princess Twilight!” Clueless calls from the center of the museum.
“I highly doubt he even has ‘any’ experience in law enforcement. Let alone what it even means to be a detective.”
“Princess Twilight! Hey!”
“I might have to do all the work, and have to basically carry him on my back the entire time; but if I can just get through this as quickly as possible, then I won’t have to deal with him ever again.”
“Yoo-hoo! Princess!”
“What?! What do you want, Clueless?!” Twilight snaps.
“Well then, I was only trying to ask you a question; but if you’re going to be all snippy about it, then never mind.” Clueless then turns his back to her.
“Oh, for the love of—Clueless! Just tell me what you needed!”
“Too late. I don’t even want to ask you anymore. I don’t even know why I bothered.”
“Yes, why did you even bother? Just stay there and let me work this out.” Twilight turns back to the case to continue examining it.
“Fine, I’m staying right here!” Clueless stomps his hoof onto the floor, and a loud crash followed by a scream fills the room. Twilight jolts and turns to find a gaping hole in the floor where Clueless was standing. Her eyes widen and her magical magnifying glass poofs out of existence.
“Clueless!” Twilight gallops over to the hole and peers inside to see Clueless laying on his back at the bottom of the hole that also leads into a tunnel.
“No worries! I’m just fine!”
“Clueless, what did you do?! What is all this?”
“Well. . .” Clueless gets to his hooves as he brushes off most of the dirt and dust from his vest. “According to this, I’d say that this was the perpetrators means of escape! However, that just leaves one more question. . . How did he get in?”
Princess Twilight groans before hopping down into the hole with him and taking a look at the dark tunnel leading underneath the museum. “Huh, I guess this ‘Shade’ isn’t smart enough to cover his tracks very well.”
“Of course not, Princess. He was covering up his hole.”
Twilight turns and glares at Clueless who is simply standing with a smile on his face. “Right, maybe you should try it sometime.”
“I can’t do that, Princess. I’m not a thief.”
“Yeah, well you’re thieving me of my sanity. Now, let’s just see where this tunnel leads. I have a feeling it’ll guide us to our next clue.”
“On it!” Like a rabbit, Clueless scurries into the tunnel, and Princess Twilight follows behind. The further they go, the darker it gets. Limiting their vision severely.
“Hold on Clueless, a simple spell should light our way.”
“No need, Your Majesty!” With a sudden flicking sound, an amber glow starts to fill the tunnel. “I’ve got my lighter! It works just as good!”
“Very well, I suppose that works. . . Hey, what’s that smell?”
“Sorry, it’s gas.”
“Oh, you have got to be joking!” Twilight instantly covers her muzzle with her hooves. “That’s just disgusting!”
“Huh. . ? Oh, no, silly. I’m talking about the lighter fluid.”
“Oh, thank goodness.” Twilight sighs from relief.
“Did you honestly believe I don’t have the common courtesy to act proper in public?”
“Well, considering what you were doing earlier, I don’t really know what to expect out of you.”
“I guess you’re expecting a lot of things to come out of me, especially gas.”
“Will you just keep moving?! It’s getting hard to breathe in here!”
“Why’s that? Is it because of my—?”
“Move!”
“Alright. I get it.” Clueless leaves the topic behind and continues to crawl down the tunnel, which appears to be getting tighter the further in they go. The air is getting warmer, and their hooves are getting filthy from the soil.
“What . . . What were you going to ask me?” Twilight asks suffering from fatigue while sucking in the hot, humid air.
“It . . . It wasn’t important. Let’s just forget about it, and move on.” Clueless sweats, clearly suffering the same agony as Princess Twilight.
Twilight sighs. “Fine.” The both of them sluggishly continue forward, until Clueless comes to a sudden stop. “Why did you stop?”
“I . . . I don’t know if I should be leading the way.”
“What are you talking about? Just keep going.”
“No, I really think you should take the lead.”
“What difference does it make?”
“Trust me, I think I’d just feel more comfortable if you took the lead. Here, switch with me real quick.” Clueless turns around and tries to squeeze passed Princess Twilight.
“What? No! What are you doing?!” She uncomfortably presses her back as close as she can against the wall of the tunnel so that Clueless can get through as he shows no signs of stopping. The tunnel is barely big enough for him to get passed, but with enough kicking and struggling, he manages to put Princess Twilight in the lead. With a sigh and feeling of accomplishment, he looks to Princess Twilight who is covered in dirt and bearing a baffled expression on her face. “What point did this serve?!”
Clueless sighs. “Do you want to switch back? Come on, we’ll switch—” Just as he is about to try and squeeze passed her again, Princess Twilight holds out her hooves to keep him back.
“No, no, no. Just don’t. I’ll lead the way.” Irritated, tired and sweaty, Princess Twilight follows the tunnel all the way through to the end. She crawls up, and puts her hooves against the top of the hole which is blocked by some sort of wooden flooring.
“What do you see?”
“It seems to lead up to another building. I’m going to try and bust through.” Princess Twilight’s horn glows with a pinkish hue that illuminates more of the tunnel than Clueless’ lighter, coating it in a bright light. A beam of magic erupts from her horn, blasting a hole through the wood that was blocking their way. “Alright, we’re in.” Princess Twilight sticks her head up into the cool, refreshing air, and is met with a metal, baking sheet whacking the top of her head.
“Go away you vermin!” A fearful stallion in a white apron yells as he winds up for another hit. As Princess Twilight is in a daze, the stallion realizes he’s been bashing somepony’s head in, and instantly stops. “Oh, my! Forgive me, Miss! I mistook you for a critter!”
“Oh, it’s okay Mister!” says Princess Twilight still dizzy from the attack. “You can go ahead and keep the change!” She then flops her head down onto the floor, and the stallion quickly tries to pull her up from the hole.
“Don’t worry, Miss. I’ll go get you some ice.”
“Woo! Fresh air!” Clueless shouts as he pops his head up from the hole. Frightened, the stallion yelps as he hurriedly picks back up his baking sheet to then wallop Clueless over the top of his head. Realizing yet again that he’s attacked another pony, he ceases his attack and throws away the baking sheet.
“Oh, not again! Are you alright, kid?” The stallion asks.
“In other news, today’s forecast is . . . spinning,” says Clueless dizzily. “Everything’s spinning.” He then plops his head onto the floor, and the stallion quickly helps him up and out of the hole as well. After helping them to a set of padded seats at a dining booth, and giving them ice wrapped in dish towels for their heads, they realize they’re in a bakery. The sweet smell of baked goods fills the air, and many cakes and cookies are sitting in a glass case which is also part of the checkout counter.
“This doesn’t make any sense,” says Princess Twilight.
“I know. . . There’s no way something can smell ‘this’ good! It should be illegal!” says Clueless.
“Not that, Clueless. I’m talking about how the tunnel led us into a bakery. Why would The Shade enter the museum from a bakery?”
“. . . He was hungry?”
“No, Clueless,” says Princess Twilight with her hooves pressed against her face. “I don’t think that’s why.”
“Well, maybe the baker knows something.”
“Wow! A good idea! Well done, Clueless.”
“I think you’re being sarcastic with me.”
“No,” says Princess Twilight in the most obviously sarcastic voice as she can muster. “Now, what gave you that idea?”
“Well . . . the way you said it. . . And the way you said that.” Instead of responding, Clueless grows uncomfortable as Princess Twilight looks at him with a giant grin on her face for several seconds without even blinking. “Right. . . So, I’m just gonna go see what he’s got at the counter.”
“Yeah, go do that.” Clueless gets up and heads to the counter filled with treats as the baker approaches Princess Twilight at her table.
“Hello again, Miss,” says the baker. “Please, allow me to express how deeply sorry I am for attacking you and your friend. I mean, if you had somepony break through your floor I’m sure you’d react the same way, huh?” He chuckles.
“Yes, you’re absolutely right. No need to apologize. I’m actually doing an investigation.”
“Really now?”
“Yes, I’m trying to track down who’s responsible for the recent break-in and theft of the Canterlot Museum.”
“You mean somepony’s gone and stolen the whole thing?!” The baker’s jaw drops. “That’s crazy talk!”
“No, no, sir, only a painting was stolen from the museum.”
“Oh! Phew! You had me going there for a second, Miss!”
“Right, and I was wondering if—”
“Excuse me, sir!” Clueless calls from the counter.
“Oh, not again.”
“What do you need, kid?!”
“You don’t happen to have any sugar cookies, do you?!”
“Afraid I don’t! I had a whole bunch of batches ready to go, but they’ve gone missing!”
“Aww!”
“Wait,” says Princess Twilight. “You’ve had some of your baked goods stolen?”
“Oh yeah, it’s the strangest thing. I woke up this morning to go check on my inventory, and the next thing I knew, all my sugar cookies I had made were gone!”
“A painting and some sugar cookies,” says Clueless. “This guy’s got some serious priorities. Who knows what he’ll go for next! Maybe some farming equipment or something.”
“He? Who’s he?”
“We’re looking for somepony known as The Shade of Canterlot,” says Princess Twilight.
“Oh, yes! Who hasn’t heard of that scoundrel? I never thought he would hit my shop next.”
“Which is why I need your help. Have you noticed any suspicious activity in recent time?”
“Hmm. . . Not particularly.”
“Something smells fishy here,” says Clueless as he creeps up to the table near the baker. “And the fishy smell combined with the smell of delicious bread don’t mix very well! If you get what I’m saying.”
“Umm. . . No?”
“Trying to deny it, eh? Well, the evidence is all here! Why else would you have a tunnel leading into the museum?! You thought no one would ever expect the baker, huh? Well guess again, bread pony! I can see right through that moustache of yours.”
“Clueless,” says Princess Twilight. “There’s no need to jump to conclusions like this.”
“I bet you still have your precious sugar cookies hidden somewhere! Trying to use the cookies as an alibi!”
“Settle down, Clueless. I have a feeling this is exactly what The Shade wants us to think.”
“Say what now?”
“I think he purposely dug his tunnel from this bakery to the museum to throw us off. It was his way in and out, and I’m sure he was betting on us blaming the baker.”
“Hmm . . . a definite possibility.”
“Now, now, I assure you both that I am no thief. I would never dream of doing something like that, you have my word as a baker. However, now that I think about it, I do remember seeing somepony in a big hat and cape making a racket in the middle of the night.”
“A big hat and cape?” Twilight curiously leans in.
“That’s right.”
“I think I’ve found our suspect.”
“Wait, what?” Clueless asks.
“Thank you for your time, sir.”
“Oh, no worries. I’m happy to help in your investigation Miss. . ?” The baker trails off.
“You . . . You don’t know me?”
“I . . . can’t say I do.”
“I come from Ponyville. . . The Princess of Friendship. . . Princess Celestia’s loyal student. . .”
“That’s funny . . . I thought you were orange and stole the Element of Magic from Canterlot Castle.”
“No, see, you’re thinking of Sunset Shimmer,” Clueless informs.
“Oh, yeah that’s the one. Then, are you that new pony that enslaved an entire village of ponies by controlling their cutie marks? Or is that. . ?”
“That’s Starlight.”
“That’s right! Starlight Glimmer! Hey, I mean they look pretty much the same.”
“Yeah, I can see where you’re coming from. Although, the wings kind of give it away.”
“That’s true. I didn’t think about that.”
“My name is Twilight! Twilight Sparkle!” Princess Twilight says as she flares her forelegs into the air out of frustration.
“Oh! Yeah, there you go. I was going to say Midnight Turtle. That was going to be my best guess.”
“I kind of like that name actually,” Clueless adds.
“It’s got a good ring to it, don’t it?”
“That’s it!” says Princess Twilight as she leaves her seat and heads straight for the door. “We’re done here! Thank you, again for all your help; but we’re leaving now!”
“So, when do you think you’ll have another batch of sugar cookies ready?” Clueless asks.
“Clueless!”
“Coming, Princess!” Clueless rejoins Princess Twilight as she storms out of the bakery.
“Good luck you two!” The baker bids farewell as he waves them goodbye. Outside of the bakery continues to stomp down the street as Clueless tries to get her attention.
“Come on, Princess. It was an honest mistake.”
“Never mind that. We’ve more important matters at hoof.”
“Yeah, you still haven’t told me what you’re thinking.”
“What he said reminded me of a certain somepony, and I’m certain that my hunch is correct.”
“I thought you said we shouldn’t jump to conclusions.”
“Clueless, this is different. You don’t know this pony like I do, and it seems exactly like something she would do.”
