Hunting: The Shade of Canterlot

Detective Clueless crawls on his belly as he examines the sleek, tiled floor of the museum. His eyes focused intently on the speckled marble as he skitters around the room like a lost insect. Princess Twilight groans as she painfully watches as Clueless gains the awkward stares from several guards and photographers. Princess Celestia puts her hoof onto Princess Twilight’s shoulder, as she turns to look up to her. “Good luck to you both; and please, be careful out there,” says Princess Celestia.

“We will, Your Majesty,” says Princess Twilight as Princess Celestia leaves the museum and launches herself soaring into the sky. “. . . We’re going to need it.”

“Pardon me, everypony!” Detective Clueless shouts as he continues to crawl around the floor. “I’m on a hunt!” Finally losing her patience, Princess Twilight stands in the way of Clueless’ path as he halts and looks up at her. “Your Princess Majesty!” Clueless jumps up to his hooves.

“Clueless, what are you doing?”

“Searching for clues, Ma’am!” Clueless salutes as his eyes fail to make contact with hers, leading him to stare directly above her head.

“Clueless.”

“Yes, Ma’am!”

“You don’t have to talk to me like you’re in the Royal Guard.”

“My apologies, Ma’am!”

“. . . How is this even supposed to help you find any clues?”

“Because, you see, if I scour every spec of this museum, I’m bound to find something out of the ordinary.”

“So, you’re literally going to stick your face in every corner of this museum.”

“Oh, I haven’t gotten to the corners yet. I save those until the end. I start in the middle, then work my way outward.”

“Right . . . okay, well, I’m going to do some actual investigation at the point of interest here. You can go ahead and do your . . . prowling.”

“With pleasure, Ma’am!” Clueless proceeds to get back down to his stomach and continue his mad crawling as he glares at the floor. Twilight shakes her head in disappointment, and uses her magic to poof a magnifying glass out of thin air. As she further investigates the glass case that once held the famed portrait, Twilight cannot resist the urge to grumble to herself.

“I’ll give him a chance, but so far, I have a feeling he’s going to be a serious hindrance in this investigation.”

“Princess Twilight!” Clueless calls from the center of the museum.

“I highly doubt he even has ‘any’ experience in law enforcement. Let alone what it even means to be a detective.”

“Princess Twilight! Hey!”

“I might have to do all the work, and have to basically carry him on my back the entire time; but if I can just get through this as quickly as possible, then I won’t have to deal with him ever again.”

“Yoo-hoo! Princess!”

“What?! What do you want, Clueless?!” Twilight snaps.

“Well then, I was only trying to ask you a question; but if you’re going to be all snippy about it, then never mind.” Clueless then turns his back to her.

“Oh, for the love of—Clueless! Just tell me what you needed!”

“Too late. I don’t even want to ask you anymore. I don’t even know why I bothered.”

“Yes, why did you even bother? Just stay there and let me work this out.” Twilight turns back to the case to continue examining it.

“Fine, I’m staying right here!” Clueless stomps his hoof onto the floor, and a loud crash followed by a scream fills the room. Twilight jolts and turns to find a gaping hole in the floor where Clueless was standing. Her eyes widen and her magical magnifying glass poofs out of existence.

“Clueless!” Twilight gallops over to the hole and peers inside to see Clueless laying on his back at the bottom of the hole that also leads into a tunnel.

“No worries! I’m just fine!”

“Clueless, what did you do?! What is all this?”

“Well. . .” Clueless gets to his hooves as he brushes off most of the dirt and dust from his vest. “According to this, I’d say that this was the perpetrators means of escape! However, that just leaves one more question. . . How did he get in?”

Princess Twilight groans before hopping down into the hole with him and taking a look at the dark tunnel leading underneath the museum. “Huh, I guess this ‘Shade’ isn’t smart enough to cover his tracks very well.”

“Of course not, Princess. He was covering up his hole.”

Twilight turns and glares at Clueless who is simply standing with a smile on his face. “Right, maybe you should try it sometime.”

“I can’t do that, Princess. I’m not a thief.”

“Yeah, well you’re thieving me of my sanity. Now, let’s just see where this tunnel leads. I have a feeling it’ll guide us to our next clue.”

“On it!” Like a rabbit, Clueless scurries into the tunnel, and Princess Twilight follows behind. The further they go, the darker it gets. Limiting their vision severely.

“Hold on Clueless, a simple spell should light our way.”

“No need, Your Majesty!” With a sudden flicking sound, an amber glow starts to fill the tunnel. “I’ve got my lighter! It works just as good!”

“Very well, I suppose that works. . . Hey, what’s that smell?”

“Sorry, it’s gas.”

“Oh, you have got to be joking!” Twilight instantly covers her muzzle with her hooves. “That’s just disgusting!”

“Huh. . ? Oh, no, silly. I’m talking about the lighter fluid.”

“Oh, thank goodness.” Twilight sighs from relief.

“Did you honestly believe I don’t have the common courtesy to act proper in public?”

“Well, considering what you were doing earlier, I don’t really know what to expect out of you.”

“I guess you’re expecting a lot of things to come out of me, especially gas.”

“Will you just keep moving?! It’s getting hard to breathe in here!”

“Why’s that? Is it because of my—?”

“Move!”

“Alright. I get it.” Clueless leaves the topic behind and continues to crawl down the tunnel, which appears to be getting tighter the further in they go. The air is getting warmer, and their hooves are getting filthy from the soil.

“What . . . What were you going to ask me?” Twilight asks suffering from fatigue while sucking in the hot, humid air.

“It . . . It wasn’t important. Let’s just forget about it, and move on.” Clueless sweats, clearly suffering the same agony as Princess Twilight.

Twilight sighs. “Fine.” The both of them sluggishly continue forward, until Clueless comes to a sudden stop. “Why did you stop?”

“I . . . I don’t know if I should be leading the way.”

“What are you talking about? Just keep going.”

“No, I really think you should take the lead.”

“What difference does it make?”

“Trust me, I think I’d just feel more comfortable if you took the lead. Here, switch with me real quick.” Clueless turns around and tries to squeeze passed Princess Twilight.

“What? No! What are you doing?!” She uncomfortably presses her back as close as she can against the wall of the tunnel so that Clueless can get through as he shows no signs of stopping. The tunnel is barely big enough for him to get passed, but with enough kicking and struggling, he manages to put Princess Twilight in the lead. With a sigh and feeling of accomplishment, he looks to Princess Twilight who is covered in dirt and bearing a baffled expression on her face. “What point did this serve?!”

Clueless sighs. “Do you want to switch back? Come on, we’ll switch—” Just as he is about to try and squeeze passed her again, Princess Twilight holds out her hooves to keep him back.

“No, no, no. Just don’t. I’ll lead the way.” Irritated, tired and sweaty, Princess Twilight follows the tunnel all the way through to the end. She crawls up, and puts her hooves against the top of the hole which is blocked by some sort of wooden flooring.

“What do you see?”

“It seems to lead up to another building. I’m going to try and bust through.” Princess Twilight’s horn glows with a pinkish hue that illuminates more of the tunnel than Clueless’ lighter, coating it in a bright light. A beam of magic erupts from her horn, blasting a hole through the wood that was blocking their way. “Alright, we’re in.” Princess Twilight sticks her head up into the cool, refreshing air, and is met with a metal, baking sheet whacking the top of her head.

“Go away you vermin!” A fearful stallion in a white apron yells as he winds up for another hit. As Princess Twilight is in a daze, the stallion realizes he’s been bashing somepony’s head in, and instantly stops. “Oh, my! Forgive me, Miss! I mistook you for a critter!”

“Oh, it’s okay Mister!” says Princess Twilight still dizzy from the attack. “You can go ahead and keep the change!” She then flops her head down onto the floor, and the stallion quickly tries to pull her up from the hole.

“Don’t worry, Miss. I’ll go get you some ice.”

“Woo! Fresh air!” Clueless shouts as he pops his head up from the hole. Frightened, the stallion yelps as he hurriedly picks back up his baking sheet to then wallop Clueless over the top of his head. Realizing yet again that he’s attacked another pony, he ceases his attack and throws away the baking sheet.

“Oh, not again! Are you alright, kid?” The stallion asks.

“In other news, today’s forecast is . . . spinning,” says Clueless dizzily. “Everything’s spinning.” He then plops his head onto the floor, and the stallion quickly helps him up and out of the hole as well. After helping them to a set of padded seats at a dining booth, and giving them ice wrapped in dish towels for their heads, they realize they’re in a bakery. The sweet smell of baked goods fills the air, and many cakes and cookies are sitting in a glass case which is also part of the checkout counter.

“This doesn’t make any sense,” says Princess Twilight.

“I know. . . There’s no way something can smell ‘this’ good! It should be illegal!” says Clueless.

“Not that, Clueless. I’m talking about how the tunnel led us into a bakery. Why would The Shade enter the museum from a bakery?”

“. . . He was hungry?”

“No, Clueless,” says Princess Twilight with her hooves pressed against her face. “I don’t think that’s why.”

“Well, maybe the baker knows something.”

“Wow! A good idea! Well done, Clueless.”

“I think you’re being sarcastic with me.”

“No,” says Princess Twilight in the most obviously sarcastic voice as she can muster. “Now, what gave you that idea?”

“Well . . . the way you said it. . . And the way you said that.” Instead of responding, Clueless grows uncomfortable as Princess Twilight looks at him with a giant grin on her face for several seconds without even blinking. “Right. . . So, I’m just gonna go see what he’s got at the counter.”

“Yeah, go do that.” Clueless gets up and heads to the counter filled with treats as the baker approaches Princess Twilight at her table.

“Hello again, Miss,” says the baker. “Please, allow me to express how deeply sorry I am for attacking you and your friend. I mean, if you had somepony break through your floor I’m sure you’d react the same way, huh?” He chuckles.

“Yes, you’re absolutely right. No need to apologize. I’m actually doing an investigation.”

“Really now?”

“Yes, I’m trying to track down who’s responsible for the recent break-in and theft of the Canterlot Museum.”

“You mean somepony’s gone and stolen the whole thing?!” The baker’s jaw drops. “That’s crazy talk!”

“No, no, sir, only a painting was stolen from the museum.”

“Oh! Phew! You had me going there for a second, Miss!”

“Right, and I was wondering if—”

“Excuse me, sir!” Clueless calls from the counter.

“Oh, not again.”

“What do you need, kid?!”

“You don’t happen to have any sugar cookies, do you?!”

“Afraid I don’t! I had a whole bunch of batches ready to go, but they’ve gone missing!”

“Aww!”

“Wait,” says Princess Twilight. “You’ve had some of your baked goods stolen?”

“Oh yeah, it’s the strangest thing. I woke up this morning to go check on my inventory, and the next thing I knew, all my sugar cookies I had made were gone!”

“A painting and some sugar cookies,” says Clueless. “This guy’s got some serious priorities. Who knows what he’ll go for next! Maybe some farming equipment or something.”

“He? Who’s he?”

“We’re looking for somepony known as The Shade of Canterlot,” says Princess Twilight.

“Oh, yes! Who hasn’t heard of that scoundrel? I never thought he would hit my shop next.”

“Which is why I need your help. Have you noticed any suspicious activity in recent time?”

“Hmm. . . Not particularly.”

“Something smells fishy here,” says Clueless as he creeps up to the table near the baker. “And the fishy smell combined with the smell of delicious bread don’t mix very well! If you get what I’m saying.”

“Umm. . . No?”

“Trying to deny it, eh? Well, the evidence is all here! Why else would you have a tunnel leading into the museum?! You thought no one would ever expect the baker, huh? Well guess again, bread pony! I can see right through that moustache of yours.”

“Clueless,” says Princess Twilight. “There’s no need to jump to conclusions like this.”

“I bet you still have your precious sugar cookies hidden somewhere! Trying to use the cookies as an alibi!”

“Settle down, Clueless. I have a feeling this is exactly what The Shade wants us to think.”

“Say what now?”

“I think he purposely dug his tunnel from this bakery to the museum to throw us off. It was his way in and out, and I’m sure he was betting on us blaming the baker.”

“Hmm . . . a definite possibility.”

“Now, now, I assure you both that I am no thief. I would never dream of doing something like that, you have my word as a baker. However, now that I think about it, I do remember seeing somepony in a big hat and cape making a racket in the middle of the night.”

“A big hat and cape?” Twilight curiously leans in.

“That’s right.”

“I think I’ve found our suspect.”

“Wait, what?” Clueless asks.

“Thank you for your time, sir.”

“Oh, no worries. I’m happy to help in your investigation Miss. . ?” The baker trails off.

“You . . . You don’t know me?”

“I . . . can’t say I do.”

“I come from Ponyville. . . The Princess of Friendship. . . Princess Celestia’s loyal student. . .”

“That’s funny . . . I thought you were orange and stole the Element of Magic from Canterlot Castle.”

“No, see, you’re thinking of Sunset Shimmer,” Clueless informs.

“Oh, yeah that’s the one. Then, are you that new pony that enslaved an entire village of ponies by controlling their cutie marks? Or is that. . ?”

“That’s Starlight.”

“That’s right! Starlight Glimmer! Hey, I mean they look pretty much the same.”

“Yeah, I can see where you’re coming from. Although, the wings kind of give it away.”

“That’s true. I didn’t think about that.”

“My name is Twilight! Twilight Sparkle!” Princess Twilight says as she flares her forelegs into the air out of frustration.

“Oh! Yeah, there you go. I was going to say Midnight Turtle. That was going to be my best guess.”

“I kind of like that name actually,” Clueless adds.

“It’s got a good ring to it, don’t it?”

“That’s it!” says Princess Twilight as she leaves her seat and heads straight for the door. “We’re done here! Thank you, again for all your help; but we’re leaving now!”

“So, when do you think you’ll have another batch of sugar cookies ready?” Clueless asks.

“Clueless!”

“Coming, Princess!” Clueless rejoins Princess Twilight as she storms out of the bakery.

“Good luck you two!” The baker bids farewell as he waves them goodbye. Outside of the bakery continues to stomp down the street as Clueless tries to get her attention.

“Come on, Princess. It was an honest mistake.”

“Never mind that. We’ve more important matters at hoof.”

“Yeah, you still haven’t told me what you’re thinking.”

“What he said reminded me of a certain somepony, and I’m certain that my hunch is correct.”

“I thought you said we shouldn’t jump to conclusions.”

“Clueless, this is different. You don’t know this pony like I do, and it seems exactly like something she would do.”