Sulfuric Semen Skank Dunk Tank
"We're doing the Lord's work, Twilight."
Author's Note
Where we're going, we don't need roads.
"We're doing the Lord's work, Twilight."
Twilight and Rarity raced down the hallways toward Celestia’s royal chamber. They passed guards and noble ponies alike, but they had little time for chit-chat at this moment.
“Twilight, dear, do you suppose we could slow down, just for a moment?” Rarity asked aloud, trying to keep up.
Twilight turned her head back for a second to respond. “Sorry, Rarity, but Celestia said it was urgent and we needed to meet with her immediately. The whole fate of the world could be in jeopardy! There’s no time to lose.”
“Alright, fine.”
The two mares dashed as fast as they could before they finally reached their destination. They burst through the giant doors to see Celestia waiting at her throne for them.
“We’re here, Princess!” Twilight said, panting furiously. “We came as fast as we could after getting your message.”
“Thank you both for coming,” Celestia replied, a coolness in her voice. “There is a matter of great importance that requires the both of you.”
“Of course, your majesty,” Rarity spoke up. “Anything you ask, we will attend to.”
“Is the fate of the world in danger?” Twilight chimed out. “It is isn’t it? Isn’t it!”
“Not the entire world, Twilight,” Celestia responded. “But please, follow me, and all will become clear, I guarantee you.”
The two mares nodded and followed Celestia out of the meeting room. A few guards began to follow as well, but Celestia gently waved them away, Their presence would not be necessary for the preceding events.
“I thank you for your haste in responding to my message,” Celestia said aloud, addressing the two mares following behind her. “It’s always comforting to know I have such loyal ponies that operate under me.”
“Of course, Princess,” Twilight responded. “You know you can count on us.”
“That’s good,” Celestia replied, cracking a soft smile. “Because, what is about to unfold, the task I need you for, will certainly be the hardest you’ve ever had to undertake. But, there are no others I would trust for this task more than the two of you.”
Her encouraging words brought a smile to the faces of her two subjects.
They walked together through the corridors of the castle, into areas that neither of them had seen before. Where there was once beautiful artwork and ponies socializing with each other, there was now bleak stone walls, unkempt flooring and a still dampness to the air.
Twilight and Rarity glanced around themselves, mouths slowly starting to open up and their heart beats quickening. As far as they knew, the Canterlot Castle was nothing but sunshine and rainbows, but they had never seen anything of this nature, much less knew it existed.
“Excuse me, Princess Celestia, but where are we going?” Rarity spoke up. “I’m not familiar with this section of your castle.”
“You will see soon enough, my little pony,” Celestia answered. “We’re just about there.”
After a long walk down the depressing hall, the three came up to a giant stone door with a strange glowing aura surrounding it. It was very ancient looking, with designs engraved into it depicting what looked like medieval style dungeons and wild beasts. It was quite frightening to say the least.
“Here we are.” Celestia turned around to face the mares behind her.
“Where exactly is here?” Twilight said aloud, eyes glancing between the horrific door and Celestia.
“This is the dungeon, Twilight,” Celestia calmly responded. “Very few ponies have set hoof in here before, and not in many years. But, due to recent events, the time for it to come into use once more has arisen.”
Celestia turned back around and shot a bolt of magic into the door’s keyhole, causing it to gently swing open. Behind it was a large wooden staircase with an eerie green glow at the bottom.
“If you trust me, please, follow.”
Rarity and Twilight took a large gulp and nodded, following Celestia into the unknown abyss that awaited them.
The stairs creaked and shifted with every step they took down them. The room around was nearly pitch black, save for the greenish glowing tint at the bottom, providing just enough light for them to see their destination.
As soon as they made it down a few flights of steps, the giant stone door slammed shut behind them. Rarity and Twilight both jumped in unison, their heartbeats now in complete chaos.
“As a Princess, Twilight, there are certain sacrifices you must learn to make,” Celestia said aloud, not even taking the time to look back at her pupil. “And now, you will make one of the ultimate ones. As you know, I’ve lived many a year upon this planet, and now, you will get to know the secret of how I do such a thing. Behold!”
Upon her final word, the three reached the bottom of the stairwell, where a sight of unbelievable horror awaited them.
There were dusty skeletons crammed into the corners. Dried blood decorated the walls and floor. A strong, musty scent filled the air. But, the most diabolical thing imaginable was centered at the center of the room A large, wooden pool filled to the brim with a steaming, pale green liquid.
“Wh-What’s going on in here, Princess?” Twilight mustered the courage to utter.
“The secret to immortality, my dear Twilight,” Celestia responded. “Guards! Take the white one to the pedestal!”
Out of the blackness of the corners, several ponies emerged, wearing dark hoods and capes. Before she had a chance to respond, Rarity was snatched up, tied up and gagged by them and dragged up a staircase on the far side of the pool. A large, wooden platform hung over the body of liquid and Rarity was thrown onto it by the hooded guards. She moaned aloud in fear, eyes wide with tears freely flowing down them.
“What’s going on?” Twilight screamed out. “What are you doing to Rarity?”
“We’re doing the Lord’s work, Twilight. Pull the lever!”
Without a second thought, a guard from across the room yanked a lever, causing the board Rarity was laying upon to flip over, dunking her into the pit of liquid beneath her. At first she could only squirm in shock, but soon, the true terror of the situation was made known to all.
She squirmed and squealed aloud as the the fur began to melt off her body and giant pus-filled welts began to form across the exposed muscle tissue. The pale green color of the substance began to turn a faint pink color from the amount of blood and fluids being released into it. After a few more seconds, the squeals and squirms died down before Rarity became completely engulfed in the liquid and dissolved into nothing more than a floating pile of bones and ligaments.
Twilight's stomach churned and her eyes were locked in upon the horror she just witnessed. “Celestia? How could you? What is that thing? WHY?”
“That, Twilight, is the liquid of salvation. Alicorns are magical beings, fueled by the world and elements around us. Thus, to grant eternal life, we must drink the substances of life itself.”
A guard ran up to them holding to small mugs filled with just a few ounces of the liquid from the pool. Celestia took one and handed the other to Twilight.
“The blood of a mare, that which gives birth to all life… And the semen of a male, that which makes life possible in the first place. Toss in a bit of magical sulfuric acid, and you have the magic serum. Now drink, or be tossed inside yourself. What you’ve learned here can never be released into the outside world.”
Fearing the thought of suffering the same fate Rarity did, Twilight held her breath and chugged down the contents of her glass. As she did, she felt her insides burn as the vile concoction made its way to her stomach. However, soon after, her body began emitting a faint glow and she felt new life enter her veins.
“It is complete,” Celestia said. “In only a few hundred more years, we will return here and do the same. Do you understand?”
“Yes, I understand.”
“Good.
