Culture shock

“Dan, you sure you’re ready for this?” I ask as we approach the doors to the map room. “I know that this is something that you want, but you haven’t really thought out how you’re going to do this. I don’t want everything to backfire on you.”

“Look John, I’m not winging this as much as you think. You and Twilight are helping in your own way, along with her friends. Everything will work out fine.” He stops at the door, pausing to collect himself. “I hope.”

“Yez, I have to agree with Daniel on zis John, he has been horribly wronged, and zis must be fixed quickly. Ve have many important matters to attend to.” Aurik, looking the most refreshed out of all of us, sips at his coffee, seeming to enjoy everything around him “If ve are to be successful in zis campaign against ze prinzess, ve will need to have an army behind us, and a place where we can operate out of. Otherwise, ve will be wiped off ze map.”

“Yea, warfare 101, I know.” I rub my face, wishing I could get some coffee myself. ‘You seem to be enjoying yourself here, way more than us. What’s up with that?” I ask.

“If you went through what I just got away from, you would enjoy everything around you as well my friend.” He takes another sip of coffee. “Are you ready to begin Daniel?”

He sighs before looking at me. “Yea.”

Seeing him calmer, I open the door, letting him through before following myself and closing the door behind me. Seated before us around the Cutie Map are Twilight and the rest of the Elements of Harmony, along with a very tired looking Princess Luna.

“Welcome everypony. Before we begin our meeting there is an important matter that must be attended to first.” Twilight looks to Daniel and I apprehensively.

“Rarity.” Luna begins. “Three years ago, a human appeared in the halls of Canterlot Castle in the middle of the Changeling Invasion. Although initially fearing him to be a Changeling, they realized he wasn't, and was employed by Celestia as…” she looks to Dan uncomfortably “a soldier of sorts. While he performed his duties admirably, he also began to bond with the ponies in Ponyville.” She looks to Dan again, who has now started shifting on his feet in the awkward conversation.

“What is this all about?” Rarity quietly asks, looking at Dan herself and trying to understand.

“One of the ponies that he became close with was you, Rarity.” Twilight adds. “You fell in love, even married, until Celestia wiped the memories that you had of him. He was framed for murder and banished from Equestria, so he hid in the White Tail Woods, waiting for his chance to come back to you until we found him.”

“How is this possible?” Rarity asks quietly. “I don’t recall much of anything from that time. There’s something faint, but I can never fully understand it.”

“Maybe I could help." Daniel steps forward, but Rarity pulls back in fear, causing Dan to hold back. He looks to the floor, downcast, and then reaches under his shirt, and pulling out a necklace. "Rarity, when we were wed, I gave you this ring." He kneels down in front of her, presenting it to her. "We started to grow close beforehand though, when you made me uniforms to work in." He gestures down to the clothes that he wore. "I even kept a journal of our time together." He reaches into his pocket, pulling out a small green book. Opening it, he begins to read a passage.

"I finally found the perfect gift for Rarity today, and now I think that I'll be able to propose to her. I've never been able to put too much romance into anything, but I sincerely hope that the love that we share will make her happy. I have one more mission left, and then we can settle down and start a family together." Finished with the entry, he quietly closes the journal, meeting Rarity's gaze, who is now openly weeping.

Rarity's gaze returns to the ring held in her magic, transfixed. "Is it true?" She whispers, looking over to Twilight, who bows her head in sorrow. "Were we really married? Happy?"

"Yes, you were. You were planning on settling down together, starting a family. When Celestia no longer had any use for Daniel as a pawn, she simply made him disappear."

Tears continue to fall down Rarity's face as she moves closer to Twilight. "And what did you do to stop it?" Her tone is cold, furious. "You're a princess too, are you not? You could have said something. Done something. But instead you just left everything to her again, like a coward! You couldn't stand up for your friends? For what you though was right?!

Twilight reaches to put a hoof on Rarity's shoulders, "Rarity, I-"

"No, stop! I do not want to hear from you." Twilight pulls back in shock, ears laid back, even as Rarity advances on her in a full-blown fury. "You did nothing but stand by and watch. Unable to think for yourself because SHE was the one to give the order, and you didnt question it. You let her destroy the lives that we had built, and left us with nothing." She retreats to her seat, visibly distraught. "Please leave us Twilight." she whispers, almost too low to hear.

Twilight sits down hard, shock on her face, and looks to Dan for input, who simply frowns and look away. He leans over Rarity and pulls her into an embrace, seemingly putting a stop to the conversation as a whole. Applejack walks over and puts a hoof on Twilight's shoulder.

"Ah appreciate yer honesty Twi, but Rarity here is gonna need some time to heal. We'll help 'er, but she needs space. Please understand."

With a nod, Twilight turns around and leaves, quietly shutting the door behind her. I look to Luna, who seems just as guilt-ridden as Twilight. "I'm gonna go and be with Twilight, she shouldn't have to be alone either." Luna just nods and looks away again.

Going through the door, I take one last look back, and see Dan holding Rarity to his chest, surrounded by all her friends. Even Pinkie, the ever hyper source of cheer, has been hurt, her normally poofy mane flat. He looks me in the eye, a silent thanks in his expression. Nodding back at him, I close the door and begin looking for Twilight.

“How are you holding up?” I ask Twilight. We decided to go for a walk around Ponyville while Dan and Rarity reconnect.

“I’m doing OK John. I cant say that I didn't really see this outcome.” She pauses to sniff at some roses one of the street vendors had on display. "When I was first told about Dan, I just took it as the truth. I didn’t think for a second that he had been set up. Now I don’t know what to think.” We reach a park bench, and sit, not really feeling like doing much of anything else.

"I first began on the path that brought me to where I am now when I saw Celestia for the first time as a filly." Twilight whispers. "Ever since, I made it my personal mission to be the best there ever was at magic. When I was nine, I was accepted into Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, as her personal student. Passing the entrance exam was actually how I gained my cutie mark, and how I met Spike." A glimmer of a smile crossed her face, then was gone just as quickly. I had never heard this personal side of her. I take her hoof in my hand, giving whatever support I can.

"I was so engrossed in my studies that I never really made any friends. In my final year, Celestia sent me here, to Ponyville, saying that I needed to make some friends. That's how I came to be friends with the ponies here. She did this because she needed me to defeat Nightmare Moon, and bring back Princess Luna. Eventually, and after defeating many different enemies with my friends, I was coronated as a Princess of Equestria. Looking back on all of this, I can't help but wonder if maybe I'm just another piece on a giant chessboard." I don't know what to think, let alone tell her, so I keep my counsel to myself for the moment, and look out at the town busying itself around us.

We had been out of the castle for a few hours now, and the afternoon was starting to get late. In the distance, I see Spike and Rarity coming closer. Rarity slows, then stops in front of Twilight, with Spike nervously hanging back. "John, I know that you truly mean well, but can you give Twilight and I a moment alone please?" she looks to me quietly.

"Sure. Let's go grab something to eat, Spike."

Leaning down, I gently rub behind Twilight's ear and kiss her cheek. "I'll meet you back at the castle." With a small smile to Rarity, Spike and I head out to the market.

Sitting at the local ice cream shop, Spike and I are trying to pass the time waiting for Twilight and Rarity to return. Not much is said, which is fine, I've been getting an odd feeling in the back of my mind, and I can't shake the suspicion that I'm being watched. Looking around, I see a certain dark green pegasus that's been discreetly following me around.

"Hey Spike, lets get going back to the castle. I told Twilight that we would meet her there."

Spike nods and gets up. "Yea, I'm not really feeling up to doing much right now anyways." We head back for the castle, but stop at SugarCube Corner. Just before opening the door, I see the same pegasus quickly dart into the alley next to the shop. The bell at the door jingles softly as the door opens, and Mrs. Cake looks to me and smiles. "Why hello there John, how can I help you?"

"I was actually hoping that you could do me a quick favor." I hold up a fistful of bits. "Is there any chance I could use your side door into the alleyway next to the building?" She nods quickly with an anxious look. "I might be coming back through, just leave it unlocked."

Carefully opening the side door, I peek out towards the street, where the same pegasus stands, watching the doorway into the shop. I'll only have one chance to get this right, or he'll fly away and the sorely needed element of surprise is lost. Creeping up behind him, I grab him by the mane and slam his head into the wall, stunning him. With a hard stomp to his outstretched wing, he is effectively immobilized as he screams in agony. I knock him out with a fist to the temple, and drag him back into the shop, much to Mrs. Cake's horror.

"WHATDIDYOUDOTOHIMISHEDEADWHY-"

"Mrs. Cake, please calm down, I caught him spying on Princess Twilight and she's going to want to know why." Not exactly a lie persay.... "Spike, could you please go find Twilight and have her come here? And have a secure room prepared for our newest guest?" Spike stands frozen, unable to process what happened. I forget that he's never seen me or any of the guys do our thing. "Spike, snap out of it, time is critical here."

Shaking his head, he runs off to find Twilight as I turn to Mrs. Cake again. "Mrs. Cake, I'm really sorry, I wish I didn't have to have him in here. I'll just pretend that I was never here and hide in back until Princess Twilight arrives."

As if on cue, Twilight appears in a burst of magic. "JOHN WHAT IN TARTARUS HAVE YOU DONE?!"

"Twilight we need to get him back to the castle, he's been spying on you all afternoon and I don't know why, but we need to find out. He's unconscious, but I don't know how long he'll stay that way. We need to get going now!"

With a glare, Twilight teleports us back to her castle. Finding ourselves in the map room, she turns to me. "We WILL talk about this later. But for now, get him somewhere where he wont escape, and get whatever information you can out of him. I have to return to Mrs. Cake and make sure that she's not too traumatized, or trying to call Celestia." Twilight disappears again as Dan walks over.

"Looks like we're sharing the couch tonight. Who's this?"

"I don't know, caught him spying on Twilight and I, figured I'd find out why. Why are you in the doghouse tonight?"

"Well, not exactly in the doghouse. Rarity just needs some time to process everything."

"Gotcha. Where's Aurik?"

"Getting ready to head out to the bar."

"You think he'll pick up some tail?"

"I don't know, maybe."

Just then, Aurik walks by, dressed up in his least ratty looking fatigues. I yell out to him "Hey Aurik, make sure you take a couple rubbers with ya, you don't wanna be catching anything from these ponies."

"Vuck you, I'm not gonna go and sleep vith any of ze poniez, zat's just vucked up."

"You don't know what you're missing!" Dan yells after him.

Aurik looks back with a horrified look before walking off muttering under his breath. "Kranke ficken Amerikaner schlafen mit pferden, was zum Tuefel ist mit Leuten falsch."

"Five bits says he'll pick up a pony tonight." Dan says behind me.

"You and I both know he stands a pretty good chance of at least trying. The only reason I'd bet against that is if I knew no one was interested. But with the way things are going, who knows anymore. Make your bet with someone else. but for now, we have a prisoner to attend to."

"Wake up fuckface!" Our newest guest has been locked in a makeshift cell in the basement of Twilight's castle. It's 2 AM, and Dan and I figured now would be as good a time as any to play some good cop/bad cop. Princesses Luna and Twilight, and myself are standing behind a partition hiding us from view. The pegasus is jolted awake when he gets a 5 gallon bucket of ice water dumped over his head.

"What's with the peeping tom routine you got going on?"

The pegasus looks up at Dan scared out of his mind. Dan had donned his yellow skull mask to hide his identity, and maybe play some mind games at the same time.

"Is this how you treat all your prisoners?" Twilight hisses at me. "I still don't understand why you had to break his wing. I can see knocking him unconscious, but you could have killed him with the way you attacked him, and DRAGGING him into Mrs. Cake's shop?"

"Do we have to talk about what your favorite teacher did to Dan, or my first week in Equestria? Or how you reacted when I tried to shake your hoof when we first met? You ponies weren't exactly the friendliest of folks you know." I hiss back.

"You beat up your doctor, put a couple orderlies in the ICU, and went on a rampage through town."

"Don't forget that where I'm from, horses aren't miniature technicolor talking beings with magic and wings, so please excuse me if I was just a little bit freaked out."

By this time we're both eye to eye, Twilight standing on her hind hooves with her forehooves on my shoulders for support, when Luna clears her throat. "If thou could be so kind, either get a room or get a boxing ring, we care not which."

Twilight drops back down in a huff. "I still don't understand your methods."

"It's a common tactic in our world when interrogating prisoners. We call it good cop bad cop. Dan's job is to make the prisoner not trust him. I'll go in later and act all nice, and try to earn his trust. It's all a mind game."

Looking out to where Dan is, I see that he now has the pegasus tied to a table with a cloth sack over his head, pouring water on his face.

"And just what exactly is this going to accomplish?" Twilight grumbles.

"You don't wanna know. There's a reason I suggested you and Luna stay out of view. Especially you Princess Luna." I walk over to Dan, signalling to switch places. Untying the pegasus, I allow him to sit back down while Dan leaves the room.

"So what's the name kid?" I ask him calmly. I pull a smoke out of my shirt pocket and light it. The pegasus simply glowers at me. "Look, I'm sorry I kinda kicked your ass back there. Honestly. I didn't know what you were trying to pull back there, and I've grown kinda protective of Twilight lately. It's just in my nature I suppose." Still nothing. I pull an apple out of my pocket, polishing it and putting it on the table in front of him.

"Look, I'm actually a nice guy once you get to know me. I'm just wondering what you were up to out there. As I'm sure you're aware, not everyone is... friendly towards Princess Twilight. But who knows, maybe you were just looking to meet her in person, maybe get an autograph? What's the harm in that? I tell you what, if you're honest with me, maybe I can cut you a deal, get the Princess to cut you some slack."

To his credit, he hasn't budged one bit, doing nothing save for staring a hole in my forehead. I take a final drag before putting the cigarette out on the floor.

"How's your wing doing?" He narrows his eyes for a split second. Good, I've hit a nerve. "I mean, jeez, that's gotta suck, not being able to fly and all that. We can get it fixed, but we gotta get some answers first."

"You want some fucking answers?" He suddenly snaps. "No one here likes you. Or that other human that showed up a little while ago. Princess Celestia doesn't either. You're not the first one to show up either. The last time we had one of you here, he went on a killing spree and was banished. You are all the same, human" he spits out.

"Yes, Princess Twilight told me about him. A real asshole if you ask me. So Princess Celestia sent you to keep an eye on me then. Make sure I don't do the same thing I take it."

"She just doesn't want you getting too close to the Princess. Doesn't want you taking over."

"Well, sorry to say, but it's kind of a waste of time to be honest. You get some sleep now, ya hear? Wake up call is at six." I get up and make for the door, leaving the apple behind. Twilight and Luna are waiting outside for me.

"I can't believe that actually worked. Usually we just let them sit in a dungeon without any food until they're ready to talk." Twilight mutters.

"You just need to learn how to get into their head." I snark back.

"Or, thou couldst have allowed us to look into his dreams and we would have been able to get it that way." Luna mutters.

"Sorry Princess, but time is a commodity that we don't have. He didn't say much, but we now know that at the very least, I'm still under Celestia's watch. I'm sure that Celestia's expecting a report from him soon. Once she realizes something's up, she's gonna come down hard. We should move, soon."

The next morning, after making amends with Twilight over yesterday, Luna, Twilight, Dan and myself are seated in the dining hall eating breakfast and discussing our next move.

"Since time is no longer on our side, we should make our move as soon as we can." Dan says over his coffee.

"Yes, we should. Celestia seems to be getting suspicious of us. Ourself and Twilight can handle getting into the castle on our own, but the three of thou showing up heavily armed is going to raise the alarm. Dost thou have anything thou can do to help with that matter" Luna asks.

"Actually, we might. I still have my truck, and it seems that the engine still runs. It should be good for one last ride. we can even McGyver Dan's magic gun onto the roof and make a turret of some sort.

Dan perks up at this. "That sounds pretty fun. Bolt some armor onto it, it'll be like old times, with a little bit of Mad Max thrown in for good measure." He grins.

"Yea. Aurik can ride shotgun, you'll have the turret, and I'll drive. I just don't know how we'll get the truck to Canterlot."

"We will take care of that. Just make sure that thou eats a light breakfast."

"Speaking of our little German friend, where is he? I haven't seen him since he went out to the bar last night calling us a bunch of sick horse-fuckers." I ask.

"LANGUAGE JOHN." Twilight yells. Her cheeks are a distinctly dark shade of pink now.

'Wait, are we missing something? What dost thou mean by 'horse-fucker'?"

"NOTHING." Twilight yells again. Realization dawns on Luna's face as she falls over onto the table laughing.

"All this time.... HAHA and it took you meeting a human... HEHE to finally get laid?"

"OK, NEW SUBJECT!" I yell, getting a little flustered myself. "When Aurik gets back from his 'ahem' R&R, I'll get him back up to speed on what the plan is. We'll see about getting the truck ready, and getting as much ammo as we can together."

"Actually, we were the ones to cast the spell that Dan has on his weapon. If thou could give us your weapons for a few hours, we can do the same."

Later on that evening around dinner, Aurik finally staggers into the dining hall where we are all eating dinner with a noticeably wider stance to his gait.

"Oh hey Aurik. You uh, have a good time?" I can't help but grin. He hasn't gotten a chance to get used to Ponyville yet, but the castle is a pretty obvious landmark, so I know he wasn't lost.

"I don't vanna talk about it..."

"Get any tail last night?" Dan adds to the fire. Luna chokes on her dinner, trying not to laugh, while Twilight covers her face with her hooves.

"I said I don't vanna talk about it. You Americans are a bad influence. I am never going drinking with you sick vucks. Or with any of you ponies for that matter."

"Did you at least use the rubber I gave you last night?"

Aurik glares at me "I do not know."

I raise an eyebrow at him. "You should probably get yourself tested. Don't run off with your honey just yet, we got a mission briefing to do."