Not Twilight's Problem

by Damaged

Once Upon a Time

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"And she told you that you had to go to Ponyville?" Shining Armor brought his spear around to parry the incoming blow. His spear actually shook in his grip, and he knew his sparring partner was not happy with the situation. "Hey, take it—" He was about to say "easy" when a direct thrust came for his face.

Dropping to his belly, Shining threw his force-field in place. The wall of force formed around the incoming spear and gripped it tightly in the pink magic that even Princess Celestia struggled to break. "Twily! Snap out of it!" He stomped a hoof and shoved back to his feet.

"Sorry, Shiny." Twilight calmed down and released her magic. "I don't get this. Why would she send me to Ponyville? Haven't I been a good student?" She claimed her spear back from her brother when he passed it back. "And the worse thing is, she said I need to get out and meet more ponies, make more friends!"

"Twily, the only ponies you hang out with are in the Royal Guard." Assuming a ready stance again, Shining Armor readied his spear. "Come on. Again. Better you work out your annoyance here than with the Princess." He held out the haft of his spear, and smiled when Twilight did the same.

Wood clacked on wood, and both siblings pulled back into defensive stances. Circling each other, it would have been tough to tell that only one of them was a stallion; Twilight Sparkle had never had a lot of friends in school, so her father had used the same "cure" as with her brother. Mornings and early afternoon had Twilight in Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, and afternoons and weekends had her training with the Royal Guard.

Mares weren't normally common in the Guard, but when the applicant was also Princess Celestia's personal student, exceptions were made. Attired in the practice armor of the Royal Guard, Twilight's presence on the sparring mat was not one a combatant could ignore.

"You are the best, Shiny." Twilight thrust her spear again and again, a series of sharp lunges that had her BBBFF dodging and weaving. It was all wrong, though, and despite her apparent success, Twilight never scored a touch. Then the feint, and a reply came. "Whoa!"

Shining Armor knew all the tricks Twilight knew, because he had taught them. Not that evading an annoyed and gifted spearmare was an easy task, but now he was pressed forward, chest pinning Twilight's spear between them, while his own hovered before Twilight's face. "Yield?"

Twilight's eyes strayed from the blunted tip of the spear to her brother's lopsided grin. "Yield." Rather than shifting her annoyance to Shining, she shot back to her hooves after he let her up. "How did you do that?"

"I cheated, Twily." Shining whirled his spear and took a breather. "You didn't see it, but I teleported my spear forward slightly near the end of the move." He kept grinning at Twilight's flat stare. "In real combat, your opponent is not going to play by the rules, Twily."

"I was cheating too…" Twilight admitted her gaff. "Not teleporting, but using magic to enhance my thrusts." She floated her spear to the practice rack and approached her brother. "We are both terrible at playing fair."

"Playing fair is not how you survive against the things that don't play fair." Shining saw his sister's eyes go wide in surprise. "Most ponies will play fair with you, no matter what you do. But there are some who won't." Shining Armor nodded towards Twilight. "I knew those thrusts were too hard, Twily."

"I'm going to miss you, big brother." Twilight, sweaty from their sparring, crashed against Shining and wrapped him in a hug. "Mom and Dad too. And did you hear the craziest bit? I am going to be running a library!"

"Not such a stretch, Twily, you are a bit of a book wo—" Shining laughed as a heavy hoof stuffed into his mouth. He gave his sister a droll look around the offending limb until she removed it. "I don't get why you are so… touchy about that. Books are awesome, Twily."

"I know that, but you have no idea how hard it is to stand up as a tough mare in the Guard, imagine what would happen if they found out how…" Twilight looked around for anypony who might overhear, "bookish I tend to get."

"Well, this is a new start, Twily. Go to Ponyville, be yourself. You can love training and books all you want and nopony will remember the little filly that demanded she have a full-heft spear, when it was heavier than she was." Shining started unbuckling his own training armor, setting the pieces on the dirty pile.

Twilight froze and thought about the advice. Exploring the idea of recreating herself, she realized that it was a big chance, and might just be why Princess Celestia had chosen it for her. "Thanks, big…" She looked up and saw Shining was already gone. "… brother."


Twilight hated the special treatment her role as Princess Celestia's personal student brought. "Sorry. I didn't realize she was—"

"It's cool Twi. You are Princess Celestia's student, and at least it isn't far to fly." Star Wings looked over to the other pegasus pulling the chariot. "Right Cloud?"

"Totally. We get out of afternoon sparring!" Cloud Storm beat his wings in time with Star, and gave Twilight a wink in the chariot. "Besides, think of the entrance this will make! You will be—"

"Can you drop us off at the train station?" Twilight felt comfortable at least. Wearing her field plate made her relax a little; there was no situation she couldn't face without her armor. That, and it was too bulky to pack.

"And she wants you to make friends." Spike cocked one eyebrow up. "Seems to me you already had friends. What's this really all about?"

"The Summer Sun Celebration." Twilight felt the chariot tip forwards, and saw that they were aimed right at the train station. "Thanks, guys." She used her magic to lift up her helmet from the floor, and set it down on her short-cropped mane.

"Don't mention it. We might just spend a little time in Ponyville too." Star nudged Cloud in the shoulder as they slowed down. "There are some fine… friends… to make here." He pointed to a pink-themed earth pony and raised an eyebrow.

"Yup, plenty of friends to make!" Cloud started backwinging, and with Star, landed the chariot safely just beside the train station. "Oh!" Staggering from the chariot, Cloud flicked his left wing in the air repeatedly. "I have pulled my muscle!"

Star blinked a few times in confusion before he caught on. "Oh no, however will we get back to Canterlot tonight? We had best look around town to find some warm beds for the—" He was cut short by the whistle of a train approaching. The town of Ponyville had apparently been saved from terrible acting.

"I know!" Spike pointed excitedly. "You could take the train back!" He looked up at both pegasi, and got confused at how sad they looked. "I… I'll just go tell them to hold the train."

Twilight felt bad for the two stallions. After glancing around to verify there were more onlookers for their silly pantomime, she rushed towards Cloud. "Wait, you shouldn't move long distances on this, and particularly not vertically!"

"Oh… Oh! Yes!" Cloud caught on to Twilight's ruse. "Thank you for the warning. It would have been so terrible I had taken the train back to Canterlot and done a further injury!" He lifted a hoof toward Twilight, and got a solid thunk back. Lowering his voice from the performance he had put on, Cloud gave Twilight a wink. "You're the best. Any time you need another ride, let us know."

"I got them to hold the train!" Spike ran back to the three Guardponies as quick as his legs would carry him. "But they…" He narrowed his eyes. "What have you done?" There was implication woven through the young dragon's words—implication, and a dash of accusation.

"It is a double-compound sprain, Spike." Twilight struck the pose of a pony knowledgeable on such things, even though she was making up a story for the sake of her friends. "There is no chance of moving him if that would cause an elevation change, look." Reaching out with her magic, Twilight gently took hold of Cloud's wing and lifted it.

"OW!" Cloud trembled and played his part to the hilt. "Please, it hurts so much!"

"See? Come on Spike. We'll tell the train to move on without them." Twilight got and returned another hoof bump as she trotted towards the station. Out of earshot of the pegasi, Twilight turned to her "little" brother. "Spike, now we have two friends who can give us a ride back to Canterlot whenever we want. Royal Guard look out for Royal Guard."

"You're a completely different pony when you are around other Guards, Twilight." Spike just shook his head.

"Not that you would know. It really wasn't fair that they wouldn't let you come with me. Dragons would be great guardsponies." Twilight reached the conductor at the station. "Excuse me?" She got the conductor's attention. "My friends don't need to ride anymore, sorry about that."

Any reply Twilight might have gotten back was drowned out. The stallion had signaled the driver, and the whistle blow was perfectly timed to censor his words. "...you have fun now!" The old stallion turned away from Twilight and back to his work.

"Okay, Spike, what have we got to do for the Celebration?" Twilight considered things dealt with, and moved on with her business.

"First thing, you need to meet with the town's banquet preparations expert at Sweet Apple Acres." Spike read the first item on the list. "A mare named Applejack. Interesting. But I don't—"

"AAAHHHHHHHHH!" Pinkie Pie screamed as loud as she could. Her world was suddenly at least twice as complicated, and she turned and sped off as fast as she could.

"Well, that was interesting alright." Twilight rolled her eyes. "Come on Spike, let's head out there…" She trailed off. "Uh, Spike? I don't suppose…?"

"There's a map. That way!" Spike settled back on Twilight's armored back, and pointed.


The walk to the farm on the edge of town wasn't far, but being summer meant that Twilight was working a little harder than normal in her armor. A short spell, however, and she cleared the scent of "hard-working mare" from the armor, and replaced it with the generic oily smell that the magical armor had naturally. "This had better be it, Spike." Twilight plodded through the front gate and looked around.

"Hello there. My name is Twilight Sparkle." Twilight tried to keep herself to a friendly manner and lifted her hoof to get a bump from the smaller mare.

Applejack turned and blushed. She had spent the morning working hard, and now she had company. "Ah'm a might pleased to make your acquaintance, Twilight." She rolled the name around in her mouth. "My name's Applejack, and we here at Sweet Apple Acres sure do love makin' new friends!" She reached out and started to shake Twilight's hoof.

Twilight was shocked at the strength of the other mare, but felt she gave as good as she got. Keeping the shaking to a slow pace, she felt confident in the situation. "Princess Celestia sent me to oversee preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration." She gave Applejack as good a smile as she could and was surprised to see her new friend blush a little.

He's smilin' a might friendly-like, Applejack thought, He is from the city, though. She inhaled in an attempt to stop being flustered by what she thought was a stallion. "Wh-What can I do for ya?" She tripped over her words like a filly.

"You are in charge of the food for the Celebration?" Twilight started feeling a little flustered at the looks the mare kept giving her.

"We sure as sugar are!" Applejack relaxed a little. And if the cute stallion wants to hang around... Applejack's thoughts trailed off. "Would you like to sample some?"

Twilight blinked just once, and somehow was yanked off her hooves and propelled to a seat.

A whirlwind of food was offered, and Twilight tried to beg her way out of sampling everything, but despite her best efforts she wound up trying a bit of everything. Literally anything that could be made of apples was on the table, and now in her belly.

Applejack watched Twilight walking away from the farm. She gave a sigh as she watched the armored pony's plot move along with their gait.

"Heya cuz." Apple Fritter walked up to the fence Applejack was leaning over. "He's pretty dreamy." She nudged Applejack. "Bet yer'd like ta gallop over and—"

"Apple Fritter!" Applejack's cheeks were glowing red hot. "Twilight is in the Royal Guard, you know what that means?"

"He knows his way around a mare?" Apple Fritter was still stuck in lewd-mode. "Besides having a thing for small-town mares, Ah mean."

"It means he… you can't just…" Applejack became more infuriated by the second. At last, she turned and bucked hard into the air at the injustice of it all.

"Oh, bucking. Ah get what ya mean now." Apple Fritter winked to Applejack, causing her cousin to gallop off in infuriated humiliation. Turning back to watch the purple unicorn's rear depart, Apple Fritter gave a dreamy sigh.


Author's Note

So I do this "Ask x" thing, x can be any pony within the story. You can ask them anything and ~~I~~ they will definitely hopefully reply. Keep the questions appropriate to the age-rating of the stories and of course, ~~I~~ they will answer the best question(s) in the author notes of the next chapter. The more votes a comment has the more likely I will get it to the right pony to answer, try and keep it to one answer per post! ~~I~~ They will pick one question per chapter.

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