Not Twilight's Problem

by Damaged

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Romance
Length: 26131

Twilight Sparkle has been sent to the seemingly quiet town of Ponyville to oversee the Summer Sun Celebration. Everypony there thinks he looks so good in his armor, except they are wrong; SHE looks good in armor.

When I was just a filly found it rather silly... But Twilight's father didn't. When his daughter showed signs of withdrawing and avoiding friends, Night Light took the same action that was working so well with Shining Armor: he sent Twilight to join the Royal Guard.

Years later, Twilight has spent part of every day training in arms, armor, and typical stallion things. She carries herself like a stallion, she moves like a stallion, but it isn't until she has to go to Ponyville that it becomes a problem, but definitely not her problem!

This story was an idea floating around in my head. When someone suggested I write a story with Rule63 Twilight Sparkle, I told them I would do one better: a story without Rule63 Twilight Sparkle.

See This Blog for licensing.

Published 2017-06-20 23:20:20 UTC
Last updated 2017-10-31 22:28:06 UTC

Once Upon a Time

"And she told you that you had to go to Ponyville?" Shining Armor brought his spear around to parry the incoming blow. His spear actually shook in his grip, and he knew his sparring partner was not happy with the situation. "Hey, take it—" He was about to say "easy" when a direct thrust came for his face.

Dropping to his belly, Shining threw his force-field in place. The wall of force formed around the incoming spear and gripped it tightly in the pink magic that even Princess Celestia struggled to break. "Twily! Snap out of it!" He stomped a hoof and shoved back to his feet.

"Sorry, Shiny." Twilight calmed down and released her magic. "I don't get this. Why would she send me to Ponyville? Haven't I been a good student?" She claimed her spear back from her brother when he passed it back. "And the worse thing is, she said I need to get out and meet more ponies, make more friends!"

"Twily, the only ponies you hang out with are in the Royal Guard." Assuming a ready stance again, Shining Armor readied his spear. "Come on. Again. Better you work out your annoyance here than with the Princess." He held out the haft of his spear, and smiled when Twilight did the same.

Wood clacked on wood, and both siblings pulled back into defensive stances. Circling each other, it would have been tough to tell that only one of them was a stallion; Twilight Sparkle had never had a lot of friends in school, so her father had used the same "cure" as with her brother. Mornings and early afternoon had Twilight in Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, and afternoons and weekends had her training with the Royal Guard.

Mares weren't normally common in the Guard, but when the applicant was also Princess Celestia's personal student, exceptions were made. Attired in the practice armor of the Royal Guard, Twilight's presence on the sparring mat was not one a combatant could ignore.

"You are the best, Shiny." Twilight thrust her spear again and again, a series of sharp lunges that had her BBBFF dodging and weaving. It was all wrong, though, and despite her apparent success, Twilight never scored a touch. Then the feint, and a reply came. "Whoa!"

Shining Armor knew all the tricks Twilight knew, because he had taught them. Not that evading an annoyed and gifted spearmare was an easy task, but now he was pressed forward, chest pinning Twilight's spear between them, while his own hovered before Twilight's face. "Yield?"

Twilight's eyes strayed from the blunted tip of the spear to her brother's lopsided grin. "Yield." Rather than shifting her annoyance to Shining, she shot back to her hooves after he let her up. "How did you do that?"

"I cheated, Twily." Shining whirled his spear and took a breather. "You didn't see it, but I teleported my spear forward slightly near the end of the move." He kept grinning at Twilight's flat stare. "In real combat, your opponent is not going to play by the rules, Twily."

"I was cheating too…" Twilight admitted her gaff. "Not teleporting, but using magic to enhance my thrusts." She floated her spear to the practice rack and approached her brother. "We are both terrible at playing fair."

"Playing fair is not how you survive against the things that don't play fair." Shining saw his sister's eyes go wide in surprise. "Most ponies will play fair with you, no matter what you do. But there are some who won't." Shining Armor nodded towards Twilight. "I knew those thrusts were too hard, Twily."

"I'm going to miss you, big brother." Twilight, sweaty from their sparring, crashed against Shining and wrapped him in a hug. "Mom and Dad too. And did you hear the craziest bit? I am going to be running a library!"

"Not such a stretch, Twily, you are a bit of a book wo—" Shining laughed as a heavy hoof stuffed into his mouth. He gave his sister a droll look around the offending limb until she removed it. "I don't get why you are so… touchy about that. Books are awesome, Twily."

"I know that, but you have no idea how hard it is to stand up as a tough mare in the Guard, imagine what would happen if they found out how…" Twilight looked around for anypony who might overhear, "bookish I tend to get."

"Well, this is a new start, Twily. Go to Ponyville, be yourself. You can love training and books all you want and nopony will remember the little filly that demanded she have a full-heft spear, when it was heavier than she was." Shining started unbuckling his own training armor, setting the pieces on the dirty pile.

Twilight froze and thought about the advice. Exploring the idea of recreating herself, she realized that it was a big chance, and might just be why Princess Celestia had chosen it for her. "Thanks, big…" She looked up and saw Shining was already gone. "… brother."

Twilight hated the special treatment her role as Princess Celestia's personal student brought. "Sorry. I didn't realize she was—"

"It's cool Twi. You are Princess Celestia's student, and at least it isn't far to fly." Star Wings looked over to the other pegasus pulling the chariot. "Right Cloud?"

"Totally. We get out of afternoon sparring!" Cloud Storm beat his wings in time with Star, and gave Twilight a wink in the chariot. "Besides, think of the entrance this will make! You will be—"

"Can you drop us off at the train station?" Twilight felt comfortable at least. Wearing her field plate made her relax a little; there was no situation she couldn't face without her armor. That, and it was too bulky to pack.

"And she wants you to make friends." Spike cocked one eyebrow up. "Seems to me you already had friends. What's this really all about?"

"The Summer Sun Celebration." Twilight felt the chariot tip forwards, and saw that they were aimed right at the train station. "Thanks, guys." She used her magic to lift up her helmet from the floor, and set it down on her short-cropped mane.

"Don't mention it. We might just spend a little time in Ponyville too." Star nudged Cloud in the shoulder as they slowed down. "There are some fine… friends… to make here." He pointed to a pink-themed earth pony and raised an eyebrow.

"Yup, plenty of friends to make!" Cloud started backwinging, and with Star, landed the chariot safely just beside the train station. "Oh!" Staggering from the chariot, Cloud flicked his left wing in the air repeatedly. "I have pulled my muscle!"

Star blinked a few times in confusion before he caught on. "Oh no, however will we get back to Canterlot tonight? We had best look around town to find some warm beds for the—" He was cut short by the whistle of a train approaching. The town of Ponyville had apparently been saved from terrible acting.

"I know!" Spike pointed excitedly. "You could take the train back!" He looked up at both pegasi, and got confused at how sad they looked. "I… I'll just go tell them to hold the train."

Twilight felt bad for the two stallions. After glancing around to verify there were more onlookers for their silly pantomime, she rushed towards Cloud. "Wait, you shouldn't move long distances on this, and particularly not vertically!"

"Oh… Oh! Yes!" Cloud caught on to Twilight's ruse. "Thank you for the warning. It would have been so terrible I had taken the train back to Canterlot and done a further injury!" He lifted a hoof toward Twilight, and got a solid thunk back. Lowering his voice from the performance he had put on, Cloud gave Twilight a wink. "You're the best. Any time you need another ride, let us know."

"I got them to hold the train!" Spike ran back to the three Guardponies as quick as his legs would carry him. "But they…" He narrowed his eyes. "What have you done?" There was implication woven through the young dragon's words—implication, and a dash of accusation.

"It is a double-compound sprain, Spike." Twilight struck the pose of a pony knowledgeable on such things, even though she was making up a story for the sake of her friends. "There is no chance of moving him if that would cause an elevation change, look." Reaching out with her magic, Twilight gently took hold of Cloud's wing and lifted it.

"OW!" Cloud trembled and played his part to the hilt. "Please, it hurts so much!"

"See? Come on Spike. We'll tell the train to move on without them." Twilight got and returned another hoof bump as she trotted towards the station. Out of earshot of the pegasi, Twilight turned to her "little" brother. "Spike, now we have two friends who can give us a ride back to Canterlot whenever we want. Royal Guard look out for Royal Guard."

"You're a completely different pony when you are around other Guards, Twilight." Spike just shook his head.

"Not that you would know. It really wasn't fair that they wouldn't let you come with me. Dragons would be great guardsponies." Twilight reached the conductor at the station. "Excuse me?" She got the conductor's attention. "My friends don't need to ride anymore, sorry about that."

Any reply Twilight might have gotten back was drowned out. The stallion had signaled the driver, and the whistle blow was perfectly timed to censor his words. "...you have fun now!" The old stallion turned away from Twilight and back to his work.

"Okay, Spike, what have we got to do for the Celebration?" Twilight considered things dealt with, and moved on with her business.

"First thing, you need to meet with the town's banquet preparations expert at Sweet Apple Acres." Spike read the first item on the list. "A mare named Applejack. Interesting. But I don't—"

"AAAHHHHHHHHH!" Pinkie Pie screamed as loud as she could. Her world was suddenly at least twice as complicated, and she turned and sped off as fast as she could.

"Well, that was interesting alright." Twilight rolled her eyes. "Come on Spike, let's head out there…" She trailed off. "Uh, Spike? I don't suppose…?"

"There's a map. That way!" Spike settled back on Twilight's armored back, and pointed.

The walk to the farm on the edge of town wasn't far, but being summer meant that Twilight was working a little harder than normal in her armor. A short spell, however, and she cleared the scent of "hard-working mare" from the armor, and replaced it with the generic oily smell that the magical armor had naturally. "This had better be it, Spike." Twilight plodded through the front gate and looked around.

"Hello there. My name is Twilight Sparkle." Twilight tried to keep herself to a friendly manner and lifted her hoof to get a bump from the smaller mare.

Applejack turned and blushed. She had spent the morning working hard, and now she had company. "Ah'm a might pleased to make your acquaintance, Twilight." She rolled the name around in her mouth. "My name's Applejack, and we here at Sweet Apple Acres sure do love makin' new friends!" She reached out and started to shake Twilight's hoof.

Twilight was shocked at the strength of the other mare, but felt she gave as good as she got. Keeping the shaking to a slow pace, she felt confident in the situation. "Princess Celestia sent me to oversee preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration." She gave Applejack as good a smile as she could and was surprised to see her new friend blush a little.

He's smilin' a might friendly-like, Applejack thought, He is from the city, though. She inhaled in an attempt to stop being flustered by what she thought was a stallion. "Wh-What can I do for ya?" She tripped over her words like a filly.

"You are in charge of the food for the Celebration?" Twilight started feeling a little flustered at the looks the mare kept giving her.

"We sure as sugar are!" Applejack relaxed a little. And if the cute stallion wants to hang around... Applejack's thoughts trailed off. "Would you like to sample some?"

Twilight blinked just once, and somehow was yanked off her hooves and propelled to a seat.

A whirlwind of food was offered, and Twilight tried to beg her way out of sampling everything, but despite her best efforts she wound up trying a bit of everything. Literally anything that could be made of apples was on the table, and now in her belly.

Applejack watched Twilight walking away from the farm. She gave a sigh as she watched the armored pony's plot move along with their gait.

"Heya cuz." Apple Fritter walked up to the fence Applejack was leaning over. "He's pretty dreamy." She nudged Applejack. "Bet yer'd like ta gallop over and—"

"Apple Fritter!" Applejack's cheeks were glowing red hot. "Twilight is in the Royal Guard, you know what that means?"

"He knows his way around a mare?" Apple Fritter was still stuck in lewd-mode. "Besides having a thing for small-town mares, Ah mean."

"It means he… you can't just…" Applejack became more infuriated by the second. At last, she turned and bucked hard into the air at the injustice of it all.

"Oh, bucking. Ah get what ya mean now." Apple Fritter winked to Applejack, causing her cousin to gallop off in infuriated humiliation. Turning back to watch the purple unicorn's rear depart, Apple Fritter gave a dreamy sigh.

Author's Note

So I do this "Ask x" thing, x can be any pony within the story. You can ask them anything and ~~I~~ they will definitely hopefully reply. Keep the questions appropriate to the age-rating of the stories and of course, ~~I~~ they will answer the best question(s) in the author notes of the next chapter. The more votes a comment has the more likely I will get it to the right pony to answer, try and keep it to one answer per post! ~~I~~ They will pick one question per chapter.

Support me on Patreon or fuel my writing on Ko-Fi!

Join me on Discord. Warning, said chat may contain NSFW material and should be considered adult in nature.

Awesome ponies who are already helping to keep me in keyboards and rum:
A.P.O.N.I.
Airy Words
Boulder
Canary in the Coal Mine
Daremo
Dio-Drogynous
Ian
Javarod
Mary Rowland
Mephia
Nils
Sirion123

And special thanks to the following, for careful eyes and friendly words:
Airy Words
Cross Lament
Vutava

There Were Two Regal Sisters Who Ruled Together

Pinkie Pie was in her element; she was organizing a surprise welcome party for the newest pony in town, and it was going to be a big one. Everypony in town, thanks to the Summer Sun Celebration being in Ponyville, was ready for a big night leading up to a huge day. "Okay everypony, get ready to meet them!"

"This is so exciting!" Rarity danced from hoof to hoof in anticipation. "He was such a stud. And did you hear his voice?" A tremble ran through her at the mere memory of how the softly spoken "stallion" had enunciated his words. "Such a dream…"

"And he knows Spitfire! I couldn't believe how he just name-dropped her. So cool!" Not normally a mare to fall for a pony on first meeting them, Rainbow Dash knew one thing well, coolness, and to her mind Twilight Sparkle had it. "He said he would introduce us at the Celebration tomorrow; I am sure to get into the Wonderbolts now!"

Fluttershy just nodded. She wasn't exactly comfortable with so many ponies in such a small room, but for a chance at meeting a real dragon again she would even socialize. Mention of Twilight brought back the minutes of time she had spent talking with Spike while he rode on the unicorn's back. "He seems to like animals, too." She blushed the moment she spoke, but felt a little excitement at the prospect of meeting both dragon and pony again.

"Oh yeah, I heard your birds singing, Fluttershy." Rainbow Dash extended a hoof to her friend, and Fluttershy gave a hesitant tap back. "Really on point, practically sang me to sleep!"

"Any o' you lot notice how strong he was? Ah got overexcited and shook his hoof like… well like Ah was fit to chop wood…" As her words trailed off, Applejack realized she was daydreaming of a particular unicorn actually cutting wood, with their armor off, muscles rippling… Consarn it girl, tap that down, she thought, shaking her head. "Ah bet he would buck real good!"

Every nearby pony that had heard Applejack turned their heads to her in shock, but it was clear from each mare that heard that the feeling was mutual.

"Who do you want to buck?" Pinkie Pie had been so focused on getting some last minute decorations just right that she was oblivious to most of the conversation.

Rainbow Dash was ticking items off on her wing, looking around to each of her friends as she did. "We were just saying how that new stallion was super hot, super awesome, super strong, and super kind to animals."

"New stallion in town?" Pinkie Pie narrowed her eyes and extended her Pinkie Sense, but found nothing out of the ordinary. There was no tail twitching, no ear wiggling, and not a single bit of leg kicking. "But there isn't any new—"

"Shh! Twilight's coming!" Somepony hushed call silenced all conversation, and somepony else quickly turned off the lights.

"Sorry, Spike, but it's been a long day and tomorrow is going to be even longer. I just need to have a nice bath and then go to bed." Twilight looked around the dark room, and lacking anything to see with started to illuminate her horn.

"SUPRISE!" Practically the entire female population of Ponyville was crammed into the library, and all of them were in some way excited to see Twilight. There were two stallions present too, both pegasi in Royal Guard armor. Cloud wore a rather dashing bandage on his wing, while Star looked entirely too happy to be beside Roseluck.

Shocked for a moment, Twilight almost reared up in alarm, but her training kicked in and she widened her stance for the impending ambush. Her horn flared bright, and her magic reached for a spear that wasn't at her side. Shocked out of her combat readiness, she quickly realized what was happening. "Oh no…"

"Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie, and I threw this party just for you!" Pinkie was pronking around Twilight, her eyes wandering over the strong mare's physique. "Were you surprised? Were you? Were you? Huh? Huh? Huh?" The words were delivered rapid fire, in true Pinkie fashion. She froze when she had bounced a full circle around Twilight.

Applejack, seeing her chance to "save" Twilight from Pinkie's overenthusiastic greeting, made her way over to the mare. "Howdy, again. So, how did the rest of the preparations go?" But like a single icebreaker leading the way, her shoehorning into the conversation led her friends over too.

"Yeah. I did a great job of keeping the skies clear, right?" Rainbow Dash had her wings out in excitement. "And I heard Fluttershy's birds singing, too. Anyway, will Spitfire be here tomorrow?"

Pinkie narrowed her eyes a little, and looked back and forth between Twilight and her friends. "Wait a minute…"

"Isn't this party just wonderful?" Rarity, being fashionably late to the conversation, slid in before Twilight could formulate a reply to the questions already posed. "Of course I would have gone for red ribbons, but dear Pinkie does so well for the time she has." Nearing Twilight, Rarity made sure to slide up against the bigger pony so their flanks touched.

"This is Twilight…" Pinkie worked through the logic, and looked at Twilight. "And you're a…" Her eyes widened, her heart sped up to nearly double its normal speed; Pinkie Pie had a secret that her friends didn't know!

"Spike!" Fluttershy dashed across the floor to fawn over the dragon. "It's so wonderful to see you again! Look at your crest, it looks fantastic!"

"I need a drink." Twilight, trying to ignore all the close ponies squeezing around her, made her way to where the refreshments were located. Rather than go for a bottle of punch, however, she reached out with her magic and plucked a cupcake from the table.

"They think you're a stallion." Pinkie Pie was right at Twilight's side, her mouth pressed to Twilight's ear in an intimate touch. "This is so great!"

Twilight froze at the words. "They what?" She shook her head. "Wait, start over. What do your friends think?"

"They think you, Twilight Sparkle, are a stallion." Pinkie bounced up and down, barely able to keep her glee inside. "This is just like Maud and her 'rocks' thing!" She pointed a hoof at Twilight, poking her on the breastplate. "But you're a mare."

"Well duh." Twilight munched on the cupcake. "These are pretty good, who made them?" The moment she said it, Twilight knew exactly who had made the cupcakes. Pinkie Pie blushed a little, and stroked one hoof bashfully on the floor. "You made them?"

"Yup!" Pinkie tilted her head to the side, then giggled more. "I see what they mean, though." Tapping Twilight's armor with her hoof, Pinkie tilted her head towards Twilight. "You are a really cute pony, Twilight Sparkle. Did you know that?"

The distraction of the cupcake over for the moment, Twilight blinked back at Pinkie. She looked at the mare, really looked. Pinkie Pie didn't look strong like Applejack. She didn't have the sleek, practiced body of Rainbow dash, nor the style and grace of Rarity, and probably not a hint of Fluttershy's empathy for animals. "You're cute yourself." Why did I say that? Twilight's brain skipped a few beats at the thought, but she tried to keep up with the conversation.

Pinkie's smile lit up the room, her happiness putting her normal joy to shame. "Thanks!" Now, however, she couldn't help but focus on the important fact that remained. "You can't tell them."

"Can't tell who, and what?" Twilight took another bite of the cupcake. Tasting the rich flavor, the amazing pink icing (she realized suddenly that it matched Pinkie Pie in color), Twilight let the food linger on her palate before slowly swallowing.

As her eyes traced the little lump going down Twilight's throat, Pinkie almost sighed in bliss. "I love it when somepony really enjoys my baking. But the others, you can't tell them you are a mare." She gave a final nod, as if everything was said and done.

"You have got to be kidding me." Twilight bit into the cupcake again, and once more the soft, rich food made her stop and focus on it—and the mare who baked it—completely. "This is the best cupcake I have ever had…"

"Well, now you are just flirting." Pinkie batted her eyelashes at Twilight. "Come on, just for one day. It is bound to come out after the Celebration, and then everypony can laugh and it will be great!"

"Pinkie, I am not going to lie to your friends." Twilight couldn't stop herself taking the last bite of the baked good. Even with her mouth full, she had to complement Pinkie again. "Amazing…" Turning and aiming her armored self at the little string of ponies that were Pinkie's closest friends, Twilight began to march.

"And here he is! Spike was telling us all about your time in Canterlot. How you studied magic and were in the Royal Guard!" Rarity almost swooned at Twilight's side. "So wonderful… So brave…"

"Brave?" Twilight was distracted from her mission by a misused word. "It wasn't brave. My dad made me go to military school with my brother. I guess I just really liked it."

"You have a brother? Ah bet he is just as strong and good lookin' as you!" Applejack almost blushed, but after spending minutes grilling Spike about every aspect of Twilight's life, she was a little past blushing.

"Don't worry, Twilight, I told them…" Spike snorted a giggle. "...everything about you!" He couldn't help it, and fell over laughing. Every now and again he would giggle out a single word, "Stallion."

"That's it." Twilight turned her attention to Spike. "What have you been telling them?" The question only made the dragon laugh more. "This has gone too far. Look, girls, I am sorry to tell you, but I am—" Flavor exploded in Twilight's mouth. Over-sweet and perfect, the cupcake gave way to a fiery flavor that mixed oddly well with the sugar.

Pinkie laughed and finished Twilight's words. "Hungry!" She pulled her hoof back from Twilight's mouth, having stuffed in one of her double-hot special cupcakes. "Twilight just loves my cupcakes."

"Pinkie, everypony loves your cupcakes. It is literally impossible to dislike them." Rainbow Dash reached for the tray Pinkie was carrying, grabbed one of the red-coated treats and took a bite. For the second time that day Rainbow Dash's face turned from blue to red. "PINKIE! WHAT DID YOU PUT ON THESE?!"

Gulping down her mouthful, Twilight ran her tongue around the sweating inside of her mouth. "If I didn't know better, I would think it was Extra Spicy Griffon Chili Sauce?" Pinkie nodded back to her. "We have it in the mess hall in Canterlot. It gives quite the kick." She felt an odd sense of schadenfreude, considering how she had been misgendered. "Can I have another?"

Blushing hotly, Pinkie bounced a little, the tray's contents jostling not a jot. "Of course you can, Twilight." She winked at the mare, and felt a pile of giggles coming on. "So, all ready for the Summer Sun Celebration tomorrow?"

"Of course we are. I for one wouldn't dream of letting Princess Celestia down." Rarity noticed some chemistry going on, and felt more happiness for Pinkie Pie than disappointment for herself. Flashing a look at the pink party pony, Rarity gave a big grin and raised one eyebrow.

"I'll totally keep one eye on the sky all day, from dawn to dusk." Rainbow Dash posed dramatically. "The other will be looking for the Wonderbolts, of course. Thanks, Twilight, you are the best wingpony a mare could have!"

"Are you kidding?" Cloud intruded on the little group, throwing a foreleg around Twilight's back and giving her a squeeze. "S—" A cupcake appeared in his mouth, filling it with sweet delight and burning. "Mmm… Hey, these are pretty good. You Ponyville ponies are the best!" He let go of Twilight and wandered back into the crowd of mares at the party.

"Got your back, Twilight." Giggling like a filly, Pinkie leaned up and against Twilight. Holding up her tray, she smiled brightly. "Want another cupcake?"

Twilight took the offered cupcake, but didn't bite into it yet. "Just a day?" Pinkie nodded to her. "Okay, but I am not lying. If they ask, I will tell them." She racked her brains for any possible situations that would be a problem. "Alright, Pinkie." She hadn't thought of anything else. Around them, the other mares who heard the conversation didn't suspect its true meaning. "But we call this off if anypony is in danger of being hurt by it, too."

"Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!" Pinkie reached for one of her double-hot specials, and started lifting it up. A strong purple hoof stopped her just an inch from putting the likely-blinding substance in her eye. "Hey!"

"Pinkie, you are the worst." Twilight leaned forward and took a bite of the cupcake in Pinkie's hoof, claiming all the spicy sauce from the top. "Now do it."

Instead of smooshing the cupcake in her eye, however, Pinkie brought it to her snout, sniffed it daintily, and licked the surface. Twilight was staring at the flirty gesture right up until Pinkie ate the remainder of the treat. "A slick new stallion in town couldn't go a day without half the mares chasing him. It's okay, Twilight Sparkle, I have you covered."

"Pinkie?" Confusion—a now-familiar sensation—reigned in Twilight's head. "What are you talking about? So far it is just your friends."

"That is because you have competition." Pinkie pointed to Cloud and Star. "They will be gone tomorrow, and then the game will be ahoof." Reaching her leg up, Pinkie gently brushed a little crumb from Twilight's cheek. "Unless you are already spoken for. What about it, Twilight? Are you stallion enough to pretend to be my coltfriend for a day?"

Just what have I gotten myself into? Twilight thought, But she is pretty, and funny, and great at cooking, and… and... Twilight's thoughts unraveled a little when Pinkie leaned forward, and their lips touched.

"Oh my… look at that…" The tone in Rarity's voice was equal parts swoon and delight. "I wonder if that's their first kiss?"

For a brief moment, Rainbow Dash remembered what had happened earlier in the day. She almost imagined herself in Pinkie's hooves. A quick shake of her head banished the image. "I gotta go, skies to kick and clouds to keep clear!"

Twilight stared at Pinkie for nearly ten full seconds. Then something clicked. This is my first real kiss, she thought, and a little filly inside her cheered wildly, It's nice, not pushy, and I think I really like her. A little poke at her lips heralded Pinkie's tongue, and Twilight's eyes fluttered closed as the simple expression deepened.

Tasting her special cupcakes in Twilight's mouth, Pinkie made sure to explore and find the places that made Twilight twitch. All the time she kept her eyes open, just a little. She watched as Twilight relaxed into the kiss, then gave herself to it.

The kiss could have lasted forever, it certainly seemed that way to Twilight. But despite her enjoyment of the experience, she felt the exact moment when they started to part. "Wow…" She was staring at Pinkie, unable to look away.

"Wow-a-roonie! You're a great kisser, Twilight Sparkle." Pinkie giggled without a care in the world.

Above Equestria, hanging low in the sky, the moon almost seemed to tremble as the pattern that had embossed its surface for a thousand years faded.

Author's Note

Shining Armor: What are your thoughts on the possibility of mares confusing your sister for a stallion?

Blinking, Shining Armor tilted his head a little to the side. "I..." Words failed the stallion, and he had to get the question repeated back to him. "Twily is a big filly, I am... I am sure she can handle that... that problem... on her own..." Each pause made it harder for Shining to keep a straight face, and each pause brought more laughter into his voice. "Cady! Help! They are asking crazy things!"

So I do this "Ask x" thing, x can be any pony within the story. You can ask them anything and ~~I~~ they will definitely hopefully reply. Keep the questions appropriate to the age-rating of the stories and of course, ~~I~~ they will answer the best question(s) in the author notes of the next chapter. The more votes a comment has the more likely I will get it to the right pony to answer, try and keep it to one answer per post! ~~I~~ They will pick one question per chapter.

Support me on Patreon or fuel my writing on Ko-Fi!

Join me on Discord. Warning, said chat may contain NSFW material and should be considered adult in nature.

Awesome ponies who are already helping to keep me in keyboards and rum:
A.P.O.N.I.
Airy Words
Boulder
Canary in the Coal Mine
Daremo
Dio-Drogynous
Ian
Javarod
Mary Rowland
Mephia
Nils
Sirion123

And special thanks to the following, for careful eyes and friendly words:
Airy Words
Cross Lament
Vutava

And Created Harmony For All the Land

Twilight had surrendered, of course. Her first real kiss had been quite something, and while she wanted more, she had the wisdom to realize that pushing things right away might be too much. It is just a gag, after all, she told herself.

The night wound on, and nowhere in the tree house would be proof against the music, or the sound of dancing hooves. A knock at the door was followed swiftly by Rainbow Dash letting herself in. Full of excitement, the pegasus gestured for the volume of the music to be lowered. "Everypony! It's almost dawn!" Wings flared in excitement, Rainbow had the slight sheen of the night's last cloud on the fur of her legs.

Watching the ponies trot from her new home, Twilight gave a sigh and turned to Spike. Of course the dragon had a lampshade over his head, and was still dancing to unheard music. "Spike, come on. We have to go to the start of the Celebration and watch Princess Celestia raise the sun."

"Huh?" Spike reached up and tossed the lampshade off. "Where did everypony go?" Turning his attention to the door, Spike watched the last of the party guests leave. "Oh… the party is over?" His grin grew fiendishly wide. "Mr. Twilight Sparkle."

Twilight's jaw clamped her teeth down, and she ground them together. "If you hadn't gone along with it I would have had the perfect excuse to tell Pinkie Pie, 'No.' " Without a chance to remove her armor, Twilight resigned herself to wearing it further. A flash of her horn and she was smelling just right again. "Come on Spike, we have to… go?" She hesitated as Spike suddenly turned an unfavorable shade of green.

Spike coughed and lit the room up with green fire. Rather than the normal scroll, a book landed on the floor before him.

Predictions and Prophecies

Twilight levitated the old tome into the air and started to examine it. "I wonder why Princess Celestia would send us this, now?" A glance at Spike revealed the poor dragon making a "deposit" into the base of one of the potted plants. She noticed something odd about the book, and started flicking pages of it.

"There!" Twilight exclaimed at the marked page. A small slip of paper had been tucked in. "Elements of Harmony… See Mare in the Moon." Confused, Twilight looked at Spike for a clue.

"Mare in the Moon, the old pony tale." Spike lifted his claw and gestured to the highest window in the tree house. "See?" Though his claw pointed right at the moon, the typical embossed shape of a dark pony's head was gone.

"S-S-Spike…" Twilight felt something akin to panic. "W-W-W-W—"

"Look up Mare in the Moon." Spike waved a claw at the book, having to drag his eyes away from the pallid moon.

"Right!" Twilight flicked through the book, searched, and finally found it. "Okay, blah blah blah… powerful pony… rule Equestria, defeated by the Elements of Harmony and imprisoned in the moon." Her heart sinking as she read, Twilight's magic made the book tremble slightly. "...longest day of the thousandth year—that's tonight—the stars will aid in her escape, and she will bring about nighttime eternal!"

"What does that mean?" Spike walked up beside Twilight and looked at the book. "Twilight?"

"It means that something very bad is going to happen. Come on!" Twilight set the book on the floor, levitated Spike up onto her back, and galloped out of the tree house. Like a locomotive, she charged for the town hall.

Twilight burst in the doors and looked around. The entire population of the town was present, and it seemed to be standing room only for earth ponies and unicorns. Pinkie Pie bounced over to her with a huge grin on her face. "It's about to start!"

Mayor Mare was mid-speech already. "And now it is my great honor to introduce to you the ruler of our land, the very pony who gives us the sun and the moon each and every day. The good, the wise, the Bringer of Harmony to All of Equestria… Princess Celestia!" She gestured upwards. Bird song began, and Rarity pulled the rope to draw back the expansive curtains.

A spotlight swung down… on an empty balcony.

Rarity searched around the stage that had been prepared, but couldn't find any sign of Princess Celestia. "She… She's gone!" Jumping down, she was about to head backstage to see what was happening, when everypony in the room gasped at once.

Twilight watched the thick, midnight smoke gather on the stage, and her world seemed to shrink away. "Th-The Mare in the Moon…" From some old memory of a book, Twilight finally dredged up the full name. "Nightmare Moon."

While Twilight racked her brain to come up with more information about the dread mare, Nightmare Moon addressed the ponies. Gowned in the night, she came to the end of her introduction. Turning her attention to Fluttershy, she narrowed her slit eyes. "Does my crown no longer count, now that I have been imprisoned for a thousand years?" She lowered herself down to the floor where Rarity stood, frozen in terror. "Did you not read the legends? Did you not see the signs?"

"Nopony did." Twilight stepped out of the crowd, her training accepting nothing less from her than to put herself between danger and the townsfolk. "But Princess Celestia got me a message. You're Nightmare Moon!"

Nightmare Moon primped her wings and smiled. "Well, well, well." Her eyes traced the unicorn Royal Guard that stood free of the crowd. "Somepony that remembers me." She admired the pony's form, their physique. "Then you also know why I'm here."

"You're here to bring eternal night!" Twilight's magic reached for her spear again, only to find it still missing. Cursing not bringing even a practice spear, Twilight Sparkle galloped towards Nightmare Moon. At the last moment, Nightmare Moon pumped her wings and ascended, leaving Twilight trembling from fear and the efforts she had used to overcome it. "Come back!"

"You expect me to fight fair?" Nightmare Moon tilted her head back and laughed, long and hard.

"Seize her! Only she knows where the Princess is!" Mayor Mare was in a panic, and gestured to Nightmare Moon. Cloud and Star, the former discarding the bandages on his false injury, charged up at Nightmare Moon.

"Is there another way up there?" Twilight looked around, but everypony was cowering away from the perversion of a pony above. Everypony, except for five. Twilight watched in shock as Applejack restrained Rainbow Dash from charging up beside the two guard, Fluttershy did what she could to protect her birds, Rarity herded fillies and colts away from the front of the room, and Pinkie… "Pinkie! How do I get up there?"

"No need!" Pinkie pointed up as lightning crackled and sent the two pegasi guards flying back. "See?" Twilight watched as Pinkie's hoof traced the direction that a cloud of blue smoke went—right out the door of the town hall.

"I have to find out more about the Elements of Harmony. They locked Nightmare Moon away once, maybe they can do it again." Twilight reached out to Spike and levitated him onto her back. "Coming?" She looked to where Pinkie had stood, but found four ponies standing there instead.

"O'course." Applejack turned her head to the exit that she had just seen Rainbow Dash charge out, chasing after Nightmare Moon. "C'mon. Ah figure you're mixed up in all this pretty deep."

"How did you know her name?" Rarity fell in beside Twilight, as their whole group did, and was headed towards the open doors. "She seemed terribly interested in you," Rarity put her lashes to good work, fluttering them rapidly, "not that that is unreasonable."

Twilight's head turned like a radar tower tracking a rogue plane, and landed its gaze on Pinkie Pie. "Yes, I got that impression too…" A quick shake of her head got her back on track. "I only knew about it from a book Princess Celestia sent me… only minutes before all this." She gestured behind them as they left the town hall.

"It talked about something called the Elements of Harmony, and how they had defeated the Mare in the Moon before. I… the Mare in the Moon was an old book I remember reading." Admitting she was a book worm to her Royal Guard buddies would have been disastrous, but to these ponies it seemed okay. Her brother's advice regarding making a new life came back. "In that book, there were two sisters…"

"Oh! I remember that!" Pinkie bounced as the others walked along, making their way from the town hall back to the Golden Oak Library. "It was the only book on our farm… well, except for the Farmer's Almanac."

Not seeming to get more information from her new "fillyfriend," Twilight continued. "It spoke of one sister who got angry that the other was more popular… what?" She narrowed her eyes at skeptical looks. "Do you want to know or not?"

"There you are!" Rainbow Dash crashed in front of the group at the doorway to the library. "What gives? How'd you know so much about Nightmare Moon, huh? Huh?" Rainbow Dash strode up before Twilight, fearlessly rising back into a hover so she could be right in the unicorn's face. "Are you a spy?"

"Simmer down, Sally." Applejack ran past Rainbow, grabbing her tail to pull the pegasus away from Twilight. "He was standing up to Nightmare Moon, remember? And he jus' told us why he knows."

"Twilight's a scholar…" Rarity had to look around for a fainting couch, but when none could be found she had to settle for wavering on her hooves. "Gentlepony, scholar, brave soldier…" She turned to Pinkie. "Don't you dare break his heart, darling." Despite her words, Rarity could almost wish that Twilight did come running to her with a broken heart. Fantasy swarmed in, and before she knew it Rarity had missed most of the conversation.

"Right. He ain't no spy, but he knows what's goin' on, don'tcha Twilight?" Applejack, along with her four friends, turned to the "stallion" in their midst.

"We need these Elements of Harmony. But I don't know what they are, where to find them." Twilight looked up through the window at the moon. "I don't even know what they do!"

Silence reigned in the library, and each mare was struck momentarily dumb by the enormity of their task. The moment lasted until the first snore came from a baby dragon curled up in a corner.

"You've been up all night, Spike. You are a baby dragon, after all…" Twilight tucked her little brother into the cot he had found.

"So where do we find these Elements of Harmony?" Rainbow Dash looked around the bookshelves of the library. "Are they in here somewhere?"

"The Elements of Harmony: A Reference Guide." Pinkie Pie nosed a book aside. "Nope, this isn't them. What do they look like, are they books?" She turned around to see her friends gaping at her. "What?"

"Pinkie!" Twilight rushed over excitedly and plucked the aforementioned book from the shelf. "How did you find that?" Her armored side bumped into the pink mare, and Pinkie bumped back. For a moment, Twilight forgot the mad search for information and could only think of Pinkie Pie. The world snapped back and she reached for the book with her magic.

"It was under E!" Pinkie giggled happily, and stepped away to give her "coltfriend" some room.

"The Everfree Forest?" Twilight looked into the spooky woods. Even the path didn't dare the depths, and being nighttime certainly didn't help. "This is it?" She looked around to her new friends.

"Yupperoonie." Pinkie bounced in place. "Come on!"

Twilight grabbed Pinkie's tail and pulled her back. "Hold on! I can't ask you all to go with me. This is something I have to do alone." Fear tainted each heartbeat, but as a Royal Guard, Twilight couldn't allow ponies to be in danger.

"As my brother would say," Applejack rolled her eyes in her best Big McIntosh impression, "nnnope!" She looked at Twilight with a playful half-grin.

"Right, handsome, we simply can't allow you to do this on your own. We are all in this together." Rarity looked around to her other friends and got a sharp nod from Rainbow Dash, and a timid one from Fluttershy. "See?"

"Yup." Applejack nodded to Rarity in a moment of complete agreement. "We're stickin' to you like candy on an apple." With the matter settled in their minds, the four friends started off, leaving Pinkie and Twilight a moment together.

"Pinkie…" Twilight was about to do her best to convince her friend that it would be a terrible idea to go ahead, but before she could continue, Pinkie winked at her.

"We don't want to miss out on the candy apples." Pinkie looked at Twilight's exasperated expression. "What? Those things are good!"

Twilight sighed and started walking after her new friends. "I must be the worst guard in Equestria. Nopony will let me guard them!"

Author's Note

Cadænce: On a scale of 1-squee, how do you feel about Twilight having a potential marefriend?

Blinking a moment, Cadance's relaxed features slowly grew wider and wider, spreading into the natural smile she was known for. "This is the greatest news ever! Wait..." She blinked. "Marefriend? That makes it even better! Hey, Shiny, did you know Twilight is—"

"I KNOW!" Shining's shout cut his fillyfriend's voice off short, and only got Cadance to giggling like a fiend.

So I do this "Ask x" thing, x can be any pony within the story. You can ask them anything and ~~I~~ they will definitely hopefully reply. Keep the questions appropriate to the age-rating of the stories and of course, ~~I~~ they will answer the best question(s) in the author notes of the next chapter. The more votes a comment has the more likely I will get it to the right pony to answer, try and keep it to one answer per post! ~~I~~ They will pick one question per chapter.

Support me on Patreon or fuel my writing on Ko-Fi!

Join me on Discord. Warning, said chat may contain NSFW material and should be considered adult in nature.

Awesome ponies who are already helping to keep me in keyboards and rum:
A.P.O.N.I.
Airy Words
Boulder
Canary in the Coal Mine
Daremo
Dio-Drogynous
Ian
Javarod
Mary Rowland
Mephia
Nils
Sirion123

And special thanks to the following, for careful eyes and friendly words:
Airy Words
Cross Lament
Vutava

To Do This, The Eldest Used Her Unicorn Powers To Raise The Sun At Dawn

The forest had been tough to slog through, but with their friendship, the six ponies made it through. Twilight had a brief encounter with Nightmare Moon in the outer courtyard before she and the Dread Queen were taken deeper into the scary castle. We rejoin our band of brave heroes as they seek their newest friend out.

Rainbow Dash was first up the stairs. The cackling laughter she heard coming from above was eye-roll worthy. "Hey, pipe down. I hear somethin'." Amazingly, her friends listened and silence filled the stairway.

"The night… will last… forever!" Nightmare Moon's gleeful, maniacal laugh echoed from the castle's highest room.

"We gotta move it!" Applejack pointed forward, and together the five friends ran fearlessly to meet up with the newest member of their clique—the one they had left alone to "concentrate." Eight pounding hooves, four dainty ones, and two sets of wings; ascended as fast as their owners could work them. When the ponies got to the top, a terrible sight was theirs to behold.

Nightmare Moon, shrouded in swirling cobalt magic, stood at the end of the room, laughing away. The Queen of the Night was not untouched, however. There were marks where magic had struck her, and others where something large and heavy had collided with her body. Around her hooves, five of the Elements of Harmony lay shattered.

But the worst sight was a crumpled Twilight Sparkle. Armor dented in places, Twilight was pulling in panicked breaths of air while she stared up at Nightmare Moon. More than just her body was weakened, however.

"Twilight!" Pinkie had no time for bravery or fear. She charged halfway across the room to reach Twilight Sparkle's side. "Twilight, are you okay?"

The sound of her friends snapped Twilight's head around. She saw Pinkie Pie first, but her fillyfriend was not the only pony that caught her eye. All of her new friends were there, and they were all smiling and ready to support her. Twilight's eyes ran from pony to pony, and recent events sparked a group of revelations:

I tried to beat up the manticore, but all it took was Fluttershy's kindness towards animals.

I tried to brave the monstrous forest, but Pinkie's laughter was a better shield than my armor.

I tried to brave the waves, but Rarity's generosity saw us past.

I was falling like a rock, but Applejack's honesty made me take a leap of faith.

I was stuck, but Rainbow Dash's loyalty never wavered.

Twilight's pupils dilated, her pulse quickened, and she felt her frown turn into a smile. "You think you can destroy the Elements of Harmony just like that?" Her words were directed to the dark alicorn behind her. Energizing her horn, Twilight fed power to her armor. Each of the dented plates popped out, and in a moment the damaged Royal Guard armor was restored. "Well… You're wrong. Because the spirits of the Elements of Harmony are right here!"

"Applejack, who reassured me when I was in doubt, represents the Spirit of Honesty!" Twilight gestured to Applejack, and shards of the broken Element stirred, flying through the air to circle the orange pony.

"Fluttershy, who tamed the manticore with her compassion, represents the Spirit of Kindness!" Another gesture, this time at Fluttershy, sent more shards speeding to circle the hovering pegasus.

"Pinkie Pie," Twilight's heart was soaring, "who banished fear by giggling in the face of danger, represents the Spirit of Laughter!" More shards flew, and Pinkie's happy self was circled by crystal. "It was a really catchy song, too."

"Giggle at the—" Pinkie was stopped before she could get back into the tune by Rainbow Dash's hoof. Instead of singing, she laughed around the muffling limb.

"Rarity, who calmed a sorrowful serpent with a meaningful gift, represents the Spirit of Generosity!" Shards flew to Rarity, who struck a pose as the moon's light played off the sparkling gems and onto her fur.

"And Rainbow Dash, who would not abandon her friends for her heart's desire, represents the Spirit of Loyalty!" Twilight felt the magic around her growing thick enough to touch, and it was heady.

"Wait a minute!" Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes. "Can't I be the Spirit of Speed? Or the Spirit of Flying!" Despite some worry, the circling shards kept free of her wings. "Oh. Oh! I know! I can be the Spirit of Awesome!"

"Exactly!" Bouncing within her circle of shards, Pinkie gestured to her chest. "I should be the Spirit of Baking. Laughter I have in spades, but have you tasted my muffins?"

"Pinkie!" Applejack brought a hoof up and connected it to her own forehead. "Literally everypony in town has tried your muffins! Now pipe down everypony, Twilight has more to say!" It was more than a sense. Applejack could see Twilight vibrating with energy—destiny.

All eyes focused on Twilight Sparkle, and with the power of five swirling Elements of harmony, she could have taken on the world. "Give up, Nightmare Moon."

"You still don't have the sixth Element!" Nightmare Moon was a little flustered now, and was charging her horn to deal with the six ponies before they actually did, somehow, find the sixth. "Your spark didn't work, Twilight Sparkle, but mine will!"

Twilight stared at the alicorn's horn that was leveled at her. "I hope this works…" Stepping between Nightmare Moon and her friends, Twilight poured her magic into her armor.

Gasps rang out around Rainbow Dash, and hers was not missing. As Nightmare Moon's horn charged a deadly beam, Rainbow felt her loyalty to her friend being tested. Fly away, Rainbow's thoughts told her, Get away from this madness and wait for it to be dealt with by other alicorns. The thoughts were sour. Rainbow Dash had never backed down when a friend was in danger. "Leave him alone!" Her jeer caught Nightmare Moon off guard.

"Yeah, you meanie!" Pinkie pulled a silly face. "Leave my coltfriend alone!"

Nightmare Moon looked around at the ponies, as each one jeered her. Memories flashed from nearly a thousand years earlier; ponies jeering and calling out in anger at the night. Her heart skipped a beat, just before her mind caught up. "Coltfriend?"

Twilight's eyes met Nightmare Moon's, and she saw a mix of pain and confusion. "You don't realize it, Nightmare Moon, but I do have the last Element. The spark… I felt it when I heard you," she turned and looked at her friends, "when I saw you. When I saw Nightmare Moon about to blast us, I moved forward to protect you, and the spark ignited inside me."

"But you're a mare…" Nightmare Moon's words fell flat. She looked at the faces of the ponies facing her. Pinkie Pie looked like a little of the helium was out of her balloon, but the rest of the ponies were staring at their friend. Twilight looked exultant.

"You have gotta be kiddin' me, kiddo." Applejack's smile turned into a half-frown. "Callin' Twilight names ain't gonna solve your problems."

"Fabulous Twilight might be, but he is definitely the most stalliony stallion I have ever met!" Rarity tossed her mane in dismissal at Nightmare Moon.

"He's literally the most awesome pony I know!" Rainbow Dash felt the words stood well on their own, but needed an exception. "Except for me, of course."

"Yeah." It wasn't often Fluttershy was drawn towards rage, but when a pony relied on not-nice words it boiled her blood enough to almost talk above a whisper!

Pinkie just giggled.

Brilliant white light flashed, and a crystal shard lowered from above Twilight. I can't believe this, but they are saying it to defend me, Twilight's thoughts were focused on the magic she felt from her friends. She had to just roll with it now. "You see, Nightmare Moon, when those Elements are ignited by the… the spark that resides in us all, it creates a sixth Element."

"Yeah!" Pinkie closed her eyes as white light overwhelmed them, the glowing sixth Element burning brighter than the sun. "The Element of Safety!"

Twilight was wrapped up in the intense power that focused on her, but each of her friends was radiating it too now, not least of which being Pinkie. "No, Pinkie." Twilight giggled at her fillyfriend's guess.

"What about the Element of Shield?" Pinkie chuckled. "Oh! Oh! Element of Ninjas!"

Even Nightmare Moon had to choke back a giggle at Pinkie's enthusiasm. "No, Pinkie," Twilight looked to her friends, ignoring the burning light, "it is the element of Magic."

Power flashed, but none of the six friends heard Nightmare Moon's scared whimper. The Elements of Harmony were reforming for each of the heroes, each had a flash of colored light before a gold necklace appeared around their neck. Each piece of jewelry bore a gem that pulsed with the power associated with that Element.

Except for Twilight. A crown of gold formed on her head. Emblazoned with jewels, the focus of the Element of Magic was clearly the star at the top. Twilight felt the burning power spiraling up around them, rainbow-hued and mighty, before it arced and crashed down on Nightmare Moon.

Twilight heard her friends cheering, and slowly forced her hooves under her body. The weight of her armor felt too excessive to lift, but years of work on a body that was heavy with muscle paid off. Magic seemed to pulse in her veins.

"Gee, Twilight, Ah thought you were just spoutin' a load o' hooey." Applejack could feel peace running through her body, but there was more. The Element of Honesty—a virtue she had already held herself to—burned strong. "I guess we really do represent the Elements of Harmony." Her eyes tracked each of her friends, accounting for the five elements. Then she looked at Twilight.

Standing tall, strong, and with her armor shining, Twilight Sparkle was just about the perfect image of what a stallion should be. But above all that, she had her friends.

Pinkie was drawn to Twilight's side. Chuckling softly, she almost couldn't hold back the need to laugh and bring laughter to others. "We have something to announce." But it was time to be a serious Pinkie Pie. "Twilight is—"

"We know, darling." Rarity couldn't stop herself. She had seen a little disharmony in Pinkie's features, and the Element of Generosity would not allow her to let her friend suffer when she could help. "At the party, in the town hall," Rarity waved a hoof in the air, "even here; you two are perfect for each other, and I think I speak for all of us when I say it is wonderful that Twilight is your coltfriend."

"I give up." Pinkie looked to Twilight.

"Yeah, me too. They know me too well, it seems." Twilight looked back at Pinkie, and managed to hold a straight face for all of two seconds before she collapsed with the giggles.

"This sound is music I feared I would never hear again." Bright light poured in through the windows as Princess Celestia floated from the dark prison Nightmare Moon had kept her in. As regal as the sun itself, Celestia was almost heartbroken to see her ponies, the five Element Bearers, bowing to her.

"Princess Celestia!" Twilight was under no such need to prostrate herself. She rushed forward, pressing her head and neck against Celestia's chest.

"Twilight Sparkle, my faithful student." Celestia dipped her head down, but was particularly careful of the interlocking armor plates on Twilight's back and neck—from practice—as she hugged her student. "I knew you could do it."

"The book?" Twilight needed to know. "The bookmark in it. How did you know to send it right then?"

"All I did was tell you that you needed to make some friends, nothing more. I saw the signs, you had the magic inside to defeat her. But you could not unleash it until you let true friendship into your heart." Warmth surrounded Celestia. "Now if only another will as well. Princess Luna!"

Luna's eyes snapped open and while her breath came in panicked gasps, a tiny smile came to her lips when she saw Twilight Sparkle.

"It has been a thousand years since I have seen you like this. We were meant to rule together, sister." Celestia crouched to the same level as Luna.

"Sister?!" Gasps of shock and amazement came from the six Element Bearers.

"Will you accept my friendship?" Celestia's heart would surely have shattered if Luna hadn't bounded forward.

"I'm so sorry!" Luna's heart soared as she leapt to her larger sister. The burning nightmare was gone, banished by the power of friendship. "I've missed you, big sister."

"I've missed you too." Celestia was bursting with joy. It took most of her focus to keep from exploding in white light at having Luna back.

"But the book?!" Twilight's mind couldn't leave the thread hanging. "What sent me—" Twilight stopped when her teacher turned her gaze upon her. "So you did send me the book?" Twilight's eyes widened in surprise.

"I may have found some reading material for my personal student." Princess Celestia focused her attention back on Luna. "It was the last thing I managed before..." She seemed to search for the right word, not a common thing for the ruler of Equestria. "... before Nightmare Moon captured me."

Luna broke her embrace with her sister and stepped towards Twilight. She spared a glance at the other Element Bearers before she leaned forward and pressed her cheek to Twilight's own, and lowered her voice significantly. "Why don't you tell them you are a mare?"

"It's a long story." Twilight actually grinned at the great, convoluted joke that her gender confusion had become. Leaning back from the close embrace with Luna, she tilted her head to the side. "You know what?"

Pinkie, using all her stealth, sidled up beside Twilight. "Party?" Twilight nodded. Repeating the maneuver with Princess Celestia, she asked again. "Party?"

"Of course." Celestia's reply garnered the biggest gasp ever from Pinkie Pie.

Author's Note

The Royal Guard: Aren't you supposed to be with the Princess, or in close proximity, at all times? How, regardless of which Universe, do you keep losing her during the Summer Sun Celebration?

A pair of white unicorns simply glare before one opens his mouth. "You have got to be kidding, right? A dark alicorn, that we have never seen before, swoops in and subdues Princess Celestia, and you expect US to be able to stop that?"

"We tried." The other stallion shrugged. "Have you ever tried thrusting a spear through blue smoke?"

So I do this "Ask x" thing, x can be any pony within the story. You can ask them anything and ~~I~~ they will definitely hopefully reply. Keep the questions appropriate to the age-rating of the stories and of course, ~~I~~ they will answer the best question(s) in the author notes of the next chapter. The more votes a comment has the more likely I will get it to the right pony to answer, try and keep it to one answer per post! ~~I~~ They will pick one question per chapter.

Support me on Patreon or fuel my writing on Ko-Fi!

Join me on Discord. Warning, said chat may contain NSFW material and should be considered adult in nature.

Awesome ponies who are already helping to keep me in keyboards and rum:
A.P.O.N.I.
Airy Words
Boulder
Canary in the Coal Mine
Daremo
Dio-Drogynous
Ian
Javarod
Mary Rowland
Mephia
Nils
Sirion123

And special thanks to the following, for careful eyes and friendly words:
Airy Words
Cross Lament
Vutava

The Younger Brought Out the Moon to Begin the Night.

The moon was high, shedding a ghostly white light all around Ponyville. The Summer Sun Celebration had turned—after an afternoon sleep for the entire town—into another party to celebrate the moon and her mistress' return to Equestria. Pinkie had been beside herself, drafting a small army of cooks and bakers to put together a second night's worth of party food.

Twilight knew about it all because she had been in the thick of it. Her horn was still a little touchy after helping Pinkie Pie with her baking. The evening was still bright, and though most of the town was making merry, Twilight sat with her mentor in the library.

There had been a minor explosion when Pinkie had found out a tea cake was needed for Princess Celestia's evening tete-a-tete with Twilight. Nonetheless, a very special square-loafed cake sat on the plate between teacher and student, and when Celestia first sliced into the cake with a knife, it revealed a distinctive checker pattern.

Taking care of the tea while her mentor served the cake, Twilight poured two black teas, adding a dash of honey to each to bring the sweetness up just a little.

"Your armor served you well, Twilight Sparkle." Celestia sipped the tea and gave a delighted smile—Twilight knew just how she took it. "And your training."

Slipping a look to where her field plate sat, Twilight tried a piece of cake first. She was immediately distracted from both the question and her armor. The cake was perfect, the mixed pink and vanilla sponge dancing over her tongue. It wasn't until the first piece was just a memory until she remembered the question. "Th-Thank you, Your Hig—" Twilight froze at Celestia's suddenly raised eyebrow.

"I know having all your friends bow and call me by title might have some effect on you, Twilight, but please just call me Celestia." It was perhaps too familiar, but Celestia didn't care. When Twilight saved her from the dark prison Nightmare Moon had thrust her into, she had almost felt the need to bow before her student. "Which brings up another, more interesting question." Twilight nodded to the instructions, and was just getting her teacup to her lips when Celestia continued. "You are not a stallion, Twilight Sparkle, not unless you wish to be."

"I know!" Twilight almost lost her cup as she exclaimed loudly. "It was a misunderstanding, then Pinkie thought it was a great joke…"

"But now?" Celestia prompted Twilight when the unicorn seemed reluctant to continue.

Twilight's tea found its target and slid across her taste buds. "Now it is complicated. I have friends who stood up to a mon—" Her words cut off sharply. "They helped me stand up against Nightmare Moon. I begged them to let me go alone and… and it would have been a disaster if they had.

"And when I say complicated… You didn't see what happened. We were all burning with our elements, and Nightmare Moon asked me why I was acting like a stallion." Twilight was paraphrasing, but the core of the question was maintained. "They thought she was trying to insult me, they defended me!

"I want to tell them, but it seems to be getting harder by the hour." Hanging her head, Twilight looked down into her teacup. "I don't even know how it started!"

"I can help there." Princess Celestia reached across the table with her hoof. "You are a pretty mare, Twilight Sparkle, but you are not pretty in the modern sense. You carry yourself with confidence—not only in your magic, but also physically—you have developed yourself to a point where a lot of stallions would be envious of your strength, and your time yelling back on the practice field has filled out your voice a little."

"Really?" Twilight looked back over her shoulder, examining the stocky body she had developed over years working in the guard. "I don't… is that really it?"

"There is more. The way you look at ponies, Twilight, you judge them in a way that could be mistaken for a stallion examining a pretty mare." Celestia had to raise her hoof a little to forestall comment. "But do you know what makes it convincing?" Twilight could barely nod. "When you open up, and I think your new friends have seen this, you make yourself more pretty still. Combined with their perceptions, they think you are a most kind stallion."

Twilight turned back and gaped at Princess Celestia. "Wait, uh…" She tried to come up with a way to phrase her question, but in the end shook her head. "What do you mean, Princess?"

"If you didn't see the way Rarity glances at you, the way Rainbow Dash always watches you leave, or the way Applejack blushes every time you show off your strength in the slightest; then you are not as perceptive as I thought you were." Celestia kept her tone light.

"So AyJay… Dash… Rari…" Twilight's world wavered around the edges, and she lost her magical grip on her teacup completely. "Are you saying all my friends have a crush on me?" The words were spoken in a whisper as she watched her teacup hover, supported by golden magic.

"I am not completely sure about Fluttershy." Celestia chuckled behind her hoof carefully. "She blushes no matter who is speaking. But of the others I am sure they would like to see more in you than friend, if…" She left the word hanging.

"If what?" Twilight looked to her mentor in desperation, but their conversation was cut short by a knock at the library's doors. "Come in!" Standing up Twilight started to turn towards the door, but a pink pony collided into her and wrapped her forelegs tightly around Twilight's neck. "Pinkie?!"

"Twilight!" Bubbling with excitement, Pinkie didn't notice Princess Celestia as she stormed up and hugged her fillyfriend. "I had just one more thing to do before midnight!" Without another word, Pinkie Pie pressed her lips to Twilight's.

Shock led to surprise, which led to more shock and surprise, and finally Twilight felt herself relax. Pinkie's lips were as warm and inviting as their first kiss, and she felt her eyes fluttering a little until they closed. Pinkie was more than eager to lead the kiss, and was making little nuzzles and sucking sounds as she tried to devour Twilight's mouth completely.

When Twilight finally gave in and started kissing back, almost matching Pinkie's passion, she surprised herself when she put one foreleg around Pinkie's neck and pulled her closer. The world, the night, even Princess Celestia's presence faded as Twilight held Pinkie Pie close, and each expressed absolute delight with the other again and again.

Celestia watched until the embrace deepened, then she found the cake a lot more interesting. Sipping at her tea, she did her best to ignore the happy little sounds coming from both the other mares in the room. At last, she heard the pair break apart, two giggles the first sign that the kiss had ended.

Twilight stared into Pinkie's eyes. Cerulean swirls around pupils so deep that anypony could get lost in them, stared back at Twilight. She let out another giggle and ran her tongue around her mouth—tasting cider. "What's all this about?"

"It's midnight, silly." Pinkie lifted her hoof and booped Twilight's nose. "So the game is up. You can tell everypony that you are a mare—I really want to see that, by the way—and you aren't my coltfriend anymore." She gave a sad little sigh, some bounce leaving her mane.

The sadness Twilight saw—that appeared worse now that Twilight knew how happy Pinkie could be—ripped at her heart. "Pinkie…" It wasn't real. none of it was real. It was just a silly gag to play on our friends, as Twilight thought the words, she realized how hurtful they would sound out loud—and how wrong.

"It was fun while it lasted, Twilig—" Pinkie froze and stared ahead in shock. Warmth was back on her lips, and she felt Twilight's smile press against her. She couldn't help returning it. She makes me smile, Pinkie thought, sadly.

Parting their lips just enough to talk, Twilight looked deep into Pinkie's eyes. "That gag is over, but why don't we start a new one?" Twilight rolled her hoof in the air. "This is the other way around, okay?"

"I get to be the stallion?" Pinkie tilted her head to the side. "Sorry Twilight, I don't think these hips will let me pull that off." She gestured back to her rump. Confused Pinkie might be now, but she wasn't sad. She sensed Twilight was about to say something she would really like.

"No, I don't think you could." Twilight glanced briefly at the hips in question, and when she looked back to Pinkie's face, Pinkie was grinning widely. "I was thinking that this time you pretend I am a stallion, and I will keep my trap shut about it."

Pinkie narrowed her eyes and tilted her head a little. "And what about being coltfriend and fillyfriend?"

Leaning forward, Twilight kissed the tip of Pinkie's nose. "That goes without saying." She pulled Pinkie into a hug, nuzzling Pinkie's cheek. "At least, we will see how it all goes. Maybe… maybe we could be fillyfriend and fillyfriend, if the first bit doesn't work out."

A giggle and the rapid clopping of forehooves shattered the intimate moment, and both Pinkie and Twilight slowly turned, not pulling apart from their hug more than necessary. Pinkie Pie gaped at the presence of Princess Celestia, while Twilight was more mortified than she had ever been in her life.

"Wait." Celestia spoke the word firmly, just as both mares snapped their mouths open. She stood up and walked across to the pair, her eyes holding even Pinkie's full attention and denying them permission to speak just with her presence. She sat before the two ponies, spread her wings, and hugged them. "I think we are done with this little meeting, Twilight has certainly answered the question I wanted to ask." She gave Pinkie Pie a wink.

Before either mare could reply, Celestia turned to Twilight. "Pinkie Pie is a very special mare, Twilight. Take good care of her." She gave each mare a squeeze, stood up, and walked from the room in a stately manner.

"P-P-Princess C-Celestia was there the whole time?" Dismay racked Twilight, and she stared at Pinkie. "She knows about—" Her words cut off when Pinkie kissed her nose. Blinking a few times, Twilight closed her snout and took a deep breath.

Pinkie giggled at Twilight's antics. "That's better. Now… where were we?" She titled her head and looked up, as if reading a giant script taped to the ceiling of the library, which is how Twilight surprised her with another kiss. Oh, that's right! Pinkie thought, happily.

Indulging in little nuzzles rather than going for another tongue-dive, Pinkie was surprised when Twilight took the initiative. It was easy to melt against the bigger mare, to let Twilight's touch wipe away thoughts.

Twilight broke the kiss and grinned. "Like that?"

"Better." Pinkie lifted a hoof up to her lips and brushed them slowly. "But you could work more on being… well, in taking charge of the kiss." To demonstrate, Pinkie grabbed Twilight and twirled the bigger mare around, and Pinkie took the pose of stallion for her own. "Like this."

Twilight felt the hoof at the back of her neck curl, forcing her face forward so that she was made to kiss Pinkie's soft lips. The view of Pinkie's face, outlined by the ceiling of Sugarcube Corner, faded as Twilight's eyes fluttered closed.

"See?" Pinkie reversed the twist and set Twilight back on her hooves. "You sure are lucky I like you so much."

" 'Like'?" Twilight raised an eyebrow. "Just like? Or 'like'-like?"

"Like-like." Sparing Twilight a look that could make bricks smolder, Pinkie struck a pose. "Now, where were we… Oh right! I am literally the best kisser in town!" She gave a firm nod. "Nine out of ten stallions in Ponyville agree."

"What?" The line sounded so corny to Twilight that she tilted her head a little. "Nine out of ten?"

"She is." Mr. Cake walked from the back room to the counter, put down a tray of cakes and left again.

"M-M-Mister Cake?!" Twilight turned from the stallion who had just left, looking Pinkie in her wide-grinning face. "But… But… What about Missus Cake?"

"He's right, she is a great kisser." Cup Cake came in with the next batch of muffins, setting the tray beside the first. It was all she could do to keep her face straight until she got to the kitchen again.

Pinkie giggled and winked to Mrs' Cake, and got a returned wink. "Twilight, you are so cute when you are confused." She kissed Twilight on her confused nose, then changed targets and aimed for her mouth.

Twilight's brain had finally restarted, and came back to the awareness that she was being kissed. Her eyes opened, focused on Pinkie, and she leaned hungrily into the kiss. Pressing forward so that Pinkie was tilting her head up, Twilight followed her new "teacher"s orders as best she could.

"Not as good as you, dear." Carrot kissed Cup when his wife returned to the kitchen. All they had heard all morning was Twilight talking to Pinkie while Pinkie worked. Slowing down their employee definitely entitled them to a little harmless payback.

Author's Note

Ask Princess Celestia: What was it like having a protege who was phenomenally gifted at magic, trained with the Royal Guard... and yet somehow still managed to avoid developing social skills?

"Twilight has plenty of social skills." Celestia rolled her eyes—only one was visible of course—in a candid moment of expression. "Where do I start? She won the belching contest in her unit for three months running. She excels at greeting nearly anypony... with a spear.

"There was one thing, however. I actually managed to teach her how to pour tea. Can you imagine that? Something that didn't involve being around stallions..." It was clear Celestia was possessed of her full share of droll humor today.

So I do this "Ask x" thing, x can be any pony within the story. You can ask them anything and ~~I~~ they will definitely hopefully reply. Keep the questions appropriate to the age-rating of the stories and of course, ~~I~~ they will answer the best question(s) in the author notes of the next chapter. The more votes a comment has the more likely I will get it to the right pony to answer, try and keep it to one answer per post! ~~I~~ They will pick one question per chapter.

Support me on Patreon or fuel my writing on Ko-Fi!

Join me on Discord. Warning, said chat may contain NSFW material and should be considered adult in nature.

Awesome ponies who are already helping to keep me in keyboards and rum:
A.P.O.N.I.
Airy Words
Boulder
Canary in the Coal Mine
Daremo
Dio-Drogynous
Ian
Javarod
Mary Rowland
Mephia
Nils
Sirion123

And special thanks to the following, for careful eyes and friendly words:
Airy Words
Cross Lament
Vutava

But As Time Went On, the Younger Sister Became Resentful.

"Come on, Twilight. You have to." Pinkie Pie was relaxed beside her fillyfriend, both of them sitting on a checkered blanket on a hill just outside of Ponyville. Before the mares was a basket that was unpacked, its contents scattered around. The food was a testament to how great a cook Pinkie was, with a complete three course meal laid out.

"I'm not going. Look, I don't care if they think I am a stallion, a mare, or a… a…"—Twilight fished for a word—"a dragon. All I need is a shower to clean off. A good scrub will have my armor clean too." She nibbled on the biscuits that were apparently an entree, and nearly melted when the delicious shortbread broke apart in her mouth.

"But the Grand Galloping Gala is on in three days. You have to look your absolutely, tip-toppiest, best for it." Her eyes glued to Twilight—only figuratively, this time—Pinkie watched as every indication of gastronomical delight was present. "It's only for one afternoon. What could possibly go wro—"

A purple hoof shoved three shortbreads into Pinkie's mouth at once. "Never, ever, say that phrase. It is the undoing of everypony who ever uttered it, and the ponies around them. Castles have collapsed. Crops have wilted in the field. And souffles have failed to rise. All because of those words." Of course, she made sure to include a cooking related disaster; Twilight knew Pinkie Pie quite well by now.

"Souffles not rising is the worst!" Pinkie's whole demeanor wilted: her mane lost its frizz, her tail folded in on itself, and the world seemed a little darker around the mare. With a suddenness that should have had a POP-like sound effect—but didn't—her mane and tail frizzed back up, and Pinkie grinned. "But then it means I get to make more, and eat the ones that didn't rise!"

Irrepressible. Unwavering. Twilight loved how dedicated Pinkie Pie was to keeping her spirits high. "I am still not going." She popped another of the amazing shortbreads into her mouth and chewed with an air of finality.

"Why did I let you talk me into this?" Twilight was out of her armor and walking beside Pinkie. Before them was the day spa. It might look like just another (large) building in Ponyville, but Twilight had heard horror stories. Mares coming out with the girliest of mane cuts was just the start of it.

Pinkie bounced along beside Twilight. All four of her hooves would strike the ground at the same time before she was launched up and forward again. She let out a silly giggle. "It's because you like me, duh."

"I do, don't I?" Twilight leaned in and managed to catch her bouncing fillyfriend on the cheek with a kiss. "But was that enough? Maybe you used some crazy mind powers to force me to come!" She waved a hoof beside her head and made her eyes rattle in their sockets.

"That would be the best name for that ice cream we had: Crazy Mind Powers!" Giggling, Pinkie was in high spirits as they reached the main door of the spa. Pinkie waited for Twilight to open it, but when she didn't, Pinkie reached out to do it herself. "Really got you down, huh?"

"Sorry. It's not just this." Twilight waved a hoof at the building, walking in behind Pinkie. "It is the whole Gala. Everypony who is anypony is going to be there. I mean, we even got our friends tickets. Just who is going to be at this thing?"

"Like you said, Twilight. Everypony." Bouncing right up to the desk, Pinkie held up her hoof. "Two please. And we need your super-duper, Grand Galloping Gala special!"

With each word, Lotus grew more excited. She knew two of Equestria's heroes when she saw them. And Twilight Sparkle was more than just a hero, "he" was the most handsome "stallion" in town, smart, brave, and fearless. Not even trying to hide her thick accent, Lotus gestured to the doors that led deeper into the spa. "Of course, right this way."

Twilight tucked her ears back. "Your ice cream is really good…" Reluctant tone and all, Twilight put one hoof before the other, and followed along with Pinkie. "But I want to make sure it is noted in the official report that I am doing this under protest."

From her mane, Pinkie plucked a scroll and unrolled it. A quill—already charged with ink—was applied, and she carefully wrote, "Twilight protests" in bold lettering. "Okay, all done!" Rolling the scroll back up, she tucked it and the quill back in her mane.

A small hallway separated the waiting room from the main rooms of the spa. Lotus led Twilight and Pinkie down and to one of the smaller steam rooms. "Here we are. A private room for just the two of you." A tingle ran down Lotus' back at the thought of letting the most popular young couple in Ponyville have a room together in the spa. "I will be sure to knock before entering."

"Okie dokie lokie!" Pinkie Pie giggled at Lotus' bobbing eyebrows.

Lotus splashed two measures of spiced water onto the hot coals in the room before leaving. The moment she was outside, she let out a sigh. "Such love…"

"This isn't so bad." Twilight shook herself and let the steam work into her fur and muscles. Stretching out, she slumped down to the platform they were sitting on, and grinned when Pinkie did the same. The wet heat seemed to dive into her muscles, relaxing her in a way she hadn't felt before.

"I told you. Silly billy!" With a giggle, Pinkie touched noses with Twilight and for the first time in their relationship, actually sat still. Time passed, and despite her nature, even Pinkie was getting a little too over steamed.

Twilight was laying on her back, stretched out as far as she could go. Everything from her neck back felt like jelly, and with a gentle wave she shook a hoof in the air. "Pinkie? I think I am about done."

"What? You're not done yet!" Pinkie giggled and, before Twilight's carefully trained—and blunted by relaxation—reflexes could react, she pounced onto Twilight's belly and started tickling her. "You have to promise to go through with the rest of it!"

Squealing in surprise, Twilight tried to push Pinkie off, but her hooves couldn't connect with her slick and energetic fillyfriend. "Pinkie! Get off!" Laughter colored her words, laughter inspired mostly by the sneaky hooves that somehow found all the most ticklish places.

"Agree!" Pinkie laughed as she tickled Twilight with all fours hooves. It didn't matter that Twilight had magic, mass, or size; not when Pinkie used all her tickle powers.

The sound of the door opening startled both Twilight and Pinkie, and each turned to look.

"Um… I still think we should knock first." Fluttershy's soft voice came from just outside the doorway.

Pushing the door open with her magic, Rarity was looking at her overly timid friend. "Nonsense, Fluttershy. What could they possibly be doing that—" Words died in Rarity's mouth when she looked into the room. Shrouded by steam, Twilight was laying on "his" back, sweating, struggling. Atop the supposed stallion, Pinkie Pie had her back arched, her belly pressed firmly to Twilight's. Their two looked locked in the middle of a great struggle, one that was as old as life itself.

"Hi Twilight. Hi Pinkie!" Rainbow Dash waved at her two friends, her face looking like it was about to split with the huge grin on it. "Rarity was just saying how relaxing and calming a good steam bath was." She turned her head to address Applejack. "They don't look very relaxed, do they?"

True to her farming roots, Applejack was more amused at Rarity's scandalized expression than whatever two adult ponies might be getting up to in a private room. "Ah think you might be right there, Rainbow Dash. They look quite… worked up."

"Ahhhhh!" Rarity slammed the door closed on the scene, leaving Pinkie and Twilight inside.

Twilight looked up at Pinkie, watched her fillyfriend's features pull into a definite pre-laugh configuration, and she didn't hold back. Cracking up, Twilight could remember Rarity's look, and appreciated the joke that Rainbow and Applejack had made.

A timid knock came at the door, and both mares shushed. "Do you think they heard us laughing?" Twilight gazed into Pinkie's eyes, thinking how light and free the world felt when she was with Pinkie.

"We have to mess with them all. It just isn't fair to Rarity that she is the only one scandalized." Violet eyes looked up at Pinkie, and just seeing how happy Twilight was made her practically glow. Every day truly was a party, when you were in love.

Twilight gave a little nod. "Applejack and Rainbow Dash are fair game, but not Fluttershy." Turning her head to the side, Twilight cleared her throat. "No! Not again Pinkie! What will our friends think?!"

Rolling sideways, both of the mares slipped off the platform and to their hooves. Each was careful of the noise their hooves made as they neared the door. "But… But Twilight! I need more!" Pinkie hoped her voice could be heard outside.

Just as they neared the door, Twilight used her magic to turn the handle and pull it open with a sharp tug. Three ponies tumbled inside, each having had their ear pressed to the door. Fluttershy was the only one of their friends who wasn't tumbled in at their hooves.

"On second thoughts, Pinkie, I think we have gotten plenty steamed up. Time to relax." Stepping past her collapsed friends, Twilight directed a grin and a knowing wink to Fluttershy, and mouthed, "Nothing happened," to her.

"Maybe I could jump in a mud bath. I bet we could get really… dirty… in there." Pinkie's grin was as wide as her face, and she made sure to wiggle her plot a little as she walked away with Twilight.

"It serves you all right." Fluttershy's voice was barely the demanding side of timid. "I told you we should have knocked."

The spa hadn't been so bad for Twilight after all. She had played a bit of a joke on her friends, and relaxed a lot more than she thought she would. Slumped back on a relaxing lounge-chair, she was wrapped in warm towels while getting her mane trimmed.

"The look on your faces. What did you think Twilight and I were doing?" Pinkie gestured to Twilight. "What would we possibly do, in private, that would make you all try to listen in?"

Applejack still wasn't completely sure the two had been innocent of any naughtiness in the steam room, but she was entirely too honest to lie or keep quiet. "We thought you were having s—" A perfect slice of apple cake found its way to Applejack's mouth—carried by blue magic—just as she was trying to finish.

Dousing her magic, Rarity shook her head at Applejack. "Darling, you simply can't say such a thing in public. Now it may have been wrong of me to open the door without knocking, you really shouldn't be—"

"Banging?" Twilight teased more blush into Rarity's cheeks with her choice of words. "On the floor, that is."

"Ye… Yes! Banging… on the…" Just as Rarity thought she had been passed a life preserver, she realized the phrase had been carefully crafted to be, in some ways, worse than what she knew Applejack had been about to say. "Alright. I admit it. I should have knocked."

"I was just trying to tickle Twilight into agreeing to the rest of the spa treatment." At last, Pinkie had decided the joke had run its course. "There was nothing naughty going on." The words seemed to pacify Rarity's blush for the moment.

Rainbow Dash, trying to feign dislike of what she had said was "fru fru" (a wonderful phrase she had learned from Spike) treatment her delicate hooves were getting. "Nothing naughty…"—her voice trailed off—"in that room."

Rarity's indignant cry of, "Rainbow Dash!" had all of her friends laughing, and eventually she joined them in mirth.

Twilight had barely noticed the stylist work, that he had done a wonderful and modern stallion cut on her mane and tail. But what she completely missed was that he had just finished trimming one of her fetlocks. She stared at her exposed, violet hoof.

"That looks very fetching, dear." Rarity's comment did nothing to pull Twilight out of her daze.

Leaning up to her fillyfriend, Pinkie pressed her snout to Twilight's ear and kept her voice down. "They will grow back. It looks totally—"

At just that moment, somepony from the pool had tossed a large round object at the group. "Ball in-coming!" Rainbow Dash threw herself up to deflect the sphere away.

"That. What she said." Pinkie kissed the purple ear, and made sure to leave it with a little giggle.

Author's Note

Twilight: How hard would it be to get a copy of your birth certificate proving you're a mare?

"I have this theory." Twilight kept glancing down at her polished and shining hooves. "In it I work on the premise that at least half of all ponies will completely ignore everything about you except what they hear when they first meet you. Half of the remainder will need at least one corroborating fact. Half of the rest need two, and so on."

Flashing her horn, Twilight summoned a binder of pages that was nearly three times the thickness of any other book in her library. "Now, I did some maths,"—her tone implied that it was more than just some—"and I worked out that the amount of 'facts' everypony in Ponyville has seen leaves just two ponies who should still, despite everything, question that I am a stallion."

Turning her head, Twilight nodded towards Pinkie Pie. "That is one." Her eyelids half closed, and Twilight let out a deep, suffering sigh. "And of course I am the other."

So I do this "Ask x" thing, x can be any pony within the story. You can ask them anything and ~~I~~ they will definitely hopefully reply. Keep the questions appropriate to the age-rating of the stories and of course, ~~I~~ they will answer the best question(s) in the author notes of the next chapter. The more votes a comment has the more likely I will get it to the right pony to answer, try and keep it to one answer per post! ~~I~~ They will pick one question per chapter.

Support me on Patreon or fuel my writing on Ko-Fi!

Join me on Discord. Warning, said chat may contain NSFW material and should be considered adult in nature.

Awesome ponies who are already helping to keep me in keyboards and rum:
A.P.O.N.I.
Airy Words
Boulder
Canary in the Coal Mine
Daremo
Dio-Drogynous
Ian
Javarod
Mary Rowland
Nils
Sirion123
Tanis

And special thanks to the following, for careful eyes and friendly words:
Airy Words
Cross Lament
Vutava

The ponies relished and played in the day her elder sister brought forth, but shunned and slept through her beautiful night.

"So I get to come too, right?" Spike jumped up onto Twilight's back, ignoring that she was actually working. He leaned sideways and peeked around her neck and head, and waved to Lyra.

The Great Oaks Library was perfectly arranged. The books were all shelved in their correct locations, except for the two Lyra Heartstrings had brought back—The Diginomicon and 101 Handy Things to do With Hands—and the one she was trying to borrow—Other-Questria: A Definitive Guide to Parallel Worlds.

Twilight didn't have her armor on, not that anypony seemed to notice anymore. Each morning she spent in a hard gallop around the quiet town, and afternoons were spent practicing her magic and spear skills. Even though relaxing her rigorous routine would have resulted in her losing some of the harder edges that most broadcast her "stallion-ness," she wasn't going to compromise herself for the sake of what others thought.

"This is really advanced stuff." Twilight stamped the special platinum library card Lyra offered each time she borrowed books. "But you have the right card for it. Does Princess Celestia have you researching something special?"

"Yes!" Lyra Heartstrings grinned widely, her eyes darting to the sides so she didn't look right at Twilight. "Yes. Princess Celestia herself gave me that library card." She wasn't lying of course, being a graduate of Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns meant that she had access to all but the most dangerous tomes; Lyra would have to sneak back to Canterlot to get at those.

"Of course! I graduated from her school as well; we all got them. It just seems like an odd subject." Ignoring her own worries, Twilight finished processing the book loan. "There you go." She smiled, and noticed a hot blush on Lyra's cheeks. "Come on, Lyra, you know I am a mare, right?"

"Well, sure I do. But it's the peer-pressure around here. All the other mares stare at you like you are the hottest muffin in Sugarcube Corner, I can't help but to glance too." Lyra bit at her bottom lip, and her eyes ran down Twilight's form. "A-A-And you know I—"

"Prefer mares." Things finally made sense as Twilight's memory dug up the little fact.

"You could just tell everypony." Lyra floated the book to her saddle bag in her own pure gold magic aura. "You know what everypony is like; they might be upset and confused at first, but nopony here holds a grudge."

Spike poked at the back of Twilight Sparkle's neck, trying to get her attention. "Twilight? I get to come to Rarity's too, right?"

"Sure, Spike, but I don't—" Twilight cut off as she looked up at the clock. "I have to go to my fitting!"

"O—" Lyra didn't get another word out. Twilight Sparkle, the pony everypony wanted to ogle, teleported from the library with a POMF. "Huh. Back to studying. It's not like a portal to the human world will just open itself!" She turned and left the library.

"I'm not late!" Twilight appeared in Carousal Boutique with another loud POMF. She looked around frantically for Rarity, only to see the mare in question already working on a rainbow colored dress that was obviously for their mutual friend: Rainbow Dash.

"Of course you're not late, dear." Rarity kept working on the dress, not turning around to show Twilight her tight-pinched expression. Each word was a struggle to say without getting angry. Pausing a moment, she levitated a cup of tea over and drank it down as if it were the hardest of Granny Smith's "Princess Grade" Moonshine. Sadly, the drink wasn't quite as potent as even the mildest of Granny Smith's hard liquor. "You are exactly an hour early. Did you forget about daylight savings?"

The reminder of the stupidest idea the Canterlot nobles had come up with, and its implications, drew a groan from Twilight. "I still don't understand why they didn't just ask Princess Celestia to change the duration of the sun."

"That's easy." Spike had enjoyed this argument with Twilight before, and both knew what he was about to say. "It would upset all the plants and animals." Jumping down from Twilight's back, Spike suddenly lost all track of the conversation, what day it was, and even what year. Rarity was magnificent. Drifting forward, Spike practically floated in a field of puppy love. "Can I help you with anything, Rarity?"

"Actually…" Rarity gave a tiny sigh as she no longer had to hold in the anger anymore. "You could tell me why you and Twilight have been lying to me about Twilight being a stallion!" She spun around, leveling her stare not at Spike, but at Twilight herself.

Rarity's anger fizzled when she saw the bright, happy look on Twilight Sparkle's face. The faux stallion rushed up to Rarity and pulled her into a hug. "What's—"

"Finally!" Twilight was almost in tears of joy. "Somepony recognizes me!" A sharp poke with a sewing pin caused reality to flood in, and Twilight backed away from Rarity, looking a little hurt.

"Don't you dare feel happy about this!" Stomping her hooves, Rarity wound up staring slightly up at the bigger mare. "You lied to me all this time! Why?"

The bubble broke, and Twilight registered her friend was actually showing signs of being hurt. "I just…" Twilight closed her eyes and prepared the word that worked only if you meant it. The greatest spell of all was always the simplest. "I'm sorry, Rarity. It started as a little gag, on that first day."

"A gag?" Rarity's rage was partially assuaged by the apology, but what she wanted was a reason for it all. Then, as if by magic, the door of her boutique opened and the reason came in. "Pinkie Pie."

"Hiya Rarity!" Pinkie Pie bounced inside, pronking on all four hooves. "I figured I would come and help my coltfriend pick something amazing to wear to the Gala."

"Coltfriend? I think you mean fillyfriend." Rarity's tone was like ice. "What I don't get is why everypony seemed to go along with this?" Rarity gestured at Twilight, and used her magic to pull her fainting couch closer.

Pinkie Pie's mane sagged and lost all its bounce. Wilting, she walked up to Rarity and lowered even her head. "I didn't mean it to hurt anypony. It started as a joke, because everypony treated Twilight as a stallion, and I guess we just got carried away with it."

Rarity knew she had lost the fight. Pinkie Pie sad was almost as bad as yelling at Fluttershy; you just don't do either. "I guess it was a tiny bit justified. We all assumed you were a stallion…" She looked from Pinkie to Twilight. "I am sorry about that."

"And I am sorry that we didn't tell you." Twilight reached out to Rarity for a hug, but saw the mare blush hotly.

Jumping back a little, Rarity still couldn't get the idea of "stallion" out of her head. Looking at Twilight Sparkle was exactly like looking at any of the big stallions of the Royal Guard, so much so that it was impossible to not think of her as one. "This is confusing." Rarity retreated onto her fainting couch to think of a way to work through the problem.

"I'm really sorry, Rarity." Pinkie felt like the world was crushing in on her. "I didn't think it would be this bad. I just—" A white hoof poked against her snout, stopping the rush of words.

"Darling, I am still not happy about being kept in the dark, but I can see it's at least half my own fault." More important things suddenly came to mind, and Rarity turned her gaze from the rapidly floofing-out Pinkie Pie to Twilight. "Now, the big question is, will you wear a suit or a dress?"

"D-Dress?" Twilight had never liked wearing dresses, but she could tell by Rarity's inflection that she probably wouldn't get away with a suit. "Wait, everypony's going." As Twilight worked through the problem, Rarity started smiling wider. "S-So that will let the breezie out of the bag, then?"

"Darling, if anypony still thinks you are a stallion after I make you a dress, they deserve their delusions." Rarity jumped off the couch, and levitated her measuring tape over to Twilight. "I believe this is how we first met?"

Twilight blushed and nodded. "You were trying to get some kind of saddle and armor on me." Resigned, she stood as Rarity directed and put up with the little pokes and prods of her friend's magic.

"Something like that. I admit the spell you made for Dr. Horse threw me. I was starting to suspect it was all some elaborate joke to play a prank on the unicorn stallions of Equestria." Rarity's mind was rushing, not with memories of the encounter with a half-feminized Dr. Horse, but with how to make a mare as big as Twilight a dress that would look fabulous.

With Rarity busy measuring Twilight, Pinkie Pie walked up to her fillyfriend and rubbed noses. "Maybe we should tell the others first?" She froze in place and looked shocked. "Did—Did I just become the voice of reason?"

Laughing, Twilight kissed Pinkie Pie on the nose. "You've been doing quite well so far. You said we should keep dating, and look how that worked out?" She repeated the kiss, and got a return kiss from Pinkie.

Spike, meanwhile, waddled around beside Rarity, giving happy sighs from time to time. "Is there anything I could do for you, Rarity?"

Rarity smiled down at Spike. "My Spiky-Wikey-Darling, could you maybe make me another cup of tea." She glanced briefly at Twilight and Pinkie. "And a bucket of water?" Her pad was rapidly filling up not only with measurements, but also designs.

With Spike off getting her tea, Rarity started explaining her ideas. "This will be amazing. It will be my greatest work yet! The number one reason most dresses cannot be so fantastic is that the mare wearing it has to wear it."

Breaking their latest kiss, Twilight turned her head to look at Rarity, while her body was restrained by the most binding of leashes: a seamstress' tape measure. "What do you mean?"

"Weight, darling. If you can't lift the dress, you can't wear it!" Rarity drew her tape measure back from Twilight rapidly, causing it to make a fluttering sound. "And you,"—Rarity laughed and jumped up to land (sitting side-saddle of course) astride Twilight's back—"can lift anything!"

Unable to resist joining in, Pinkie Pie laughed loudly and jumped up to land on Twilight's back too. "Wee! This is just like at the spa!"

Under the combined weight, Twilight began to actually struggle. "Would you two use your own legs. I am not carrying this much dress around!"

Giggling, Rarity slipped down from Twilight's back, landing daintily on her hooves. "Snip by snip…"

Twilight walked up to Carousal Boutique full of trepidation. The Grand Galloping Gala was later on in the evening, but that was in Canterlot; everypony there expected her to wear a dress. She lifted her hoof to open the door, and froze. "They're going to get angry, like Rarity did." She turned to look at Pinkie Pie.

"No they won't, silly." Pinkie Pie pronked in place beside Twilight for a few bounces before settling to a stop. "They're your friends. Rainbow Dash practically deserves to get pranked. I still owe her one for what she did when I came to get measured up for my dress."

"What did she do?" Twilight hadn't heard of this incident. Just as Twilight saw Pinkie Pie open her mouth to reply, a loud explosion rang out across the sleepy little town. "What was that?!" Guard-trained reflexes had Twilight Sparkle in motion before Pinkie could even turn to face where the noise had come from.

Sticking her head out around Twilight, Pinkie blinked a few times in surprise. "That's my line. Aren't you supposed to be the pony who knows what's going on all the time?" She poked Twilight's flank, causing her fillyfriend to jostle to the side.

The door of Rarity's boutique slammed open, revealing Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack poking their heads out in surprise. Of course, Fluttershy was trying to hide behind them, while also being close enough to hear what was happening.

"What's going on?" Rainbow Dash looked around, then launched free of the door and scanned the sky. "I see smoke on the other side of town!"

At that exact moment a giant pink tube landed around Rainbow Dash. The rubber-like walls of the huge cylinder forced the mare's wings closed, and shot her hurtling to the ground.

Twilight and Rarity reacted at the same time. Rarity's light blue magic aura combined with Twilight's pale white, and they both heaved at their falling friend.

As quick as the unicorns were at slowing the tube, it was still moving way too fast. Applejack rushed forward, with Pinkie Pie at her side, but both were overtaken by a yellow flash. Fluttershy grabbed the end of the tube (strangely painted a lighter shade of pink, and closed over), and started pumping her wings.

The tube slowed faster still, until at last it landed softly on Applejack and Pinkie Pie's backs. The huge, round pillar of rubber flopped down and rolled a few times.

Rainbow Dash squirmed free of the tube, and was suddenly caught up in the tightest hug ever by her friends. "You guys are amazing!"

"I am so sorry…" Lyra, with a hat that looked like a pink blob with five miniature versions of the giant cylinder on her head, walked up to where the six friends stood around the dangerous object. "I didn't think it would fly that far!"

Twilight narrowed her eyes and examined the hat, the mare, and combined it with what she knew of Lyra's latest reading focus. "No more books." She turned from Lyra and walked into Carousal Boutique. "No more books, Lyra!"

Author's Note

Twilight: I wonder, would lifting your tail for an entire day while there is a vibrator inside your snatch convince anyone?

Pinkie Pie jumped up before Twilight could say anything. "She tried that."

"Pinkie! It was addressed to me!" Twilight planted her rear on the floor and crossed her forelegs in a little huff. "But she's right. I had my tail held high for a week. Do you know what happened?"

Bouncing up and down, Pinkie Pie raised her foreleg. "Ooo! Pick me! Pick me!"

Twilight kissed Pinkie on the snout to distract her. "I had two doctors, three construction workers, and a waiter start doing the same thing. They claimed it 'Brightened up the town.' "

"They had Twilight's spell, of course." Pinkie giggled and kissed Twilight back, completely distracting her.

So I do this "Ask x" thing, x can be any pony within the story. You can ask them anything and ~~I~~ they will definitely hopefully reply. Keep the questions appropriate to the age-rating of the stories and of course, ~~I~~ they will answer the best question(s) in the author notes of the next chapter. The more votes a comment has the more likely I will get it to the right pony to answer, try and keep it to one answer per post! ~~I~~ They will pick one question per chapter.

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One Fateful Day, the Younger Unicorn Refused to Lower the Moon to Make Way for the Dawn. The Elder Sister Tried to Reason With Her, But the Bitterness in the Young One's Heart Had Transformed Her Into a Wicked Mare of Darkness: Nightmare Moon.

Once Rainbow Dash had finally divested herself of the giant "finger" Lyra had launched, she sought about straightening out her wings, checked her feathers, and gave them an experimental flap. Laughing the incident off, she kept flapping her wings to hover in the air. "Hey. Where did Twilight go?"

"Well, she was just arriving to try on her dr—" Rarity coughed a moment, lifting her hoof politely. "… try on her outfit." A quick glance around her friends showed her Applejack raising one eyebrow, Fluttershy mostly ignoring the conversation while hiding behind Applejack, Rainbow Dash was fluttering in place, checking out her own wings, and Pinkie Pie wore the biggest grin Rarity had seen on her yet. "We should probably give her—"

"I'm bored, let's get this fitting over with so we can just go already." Despite the rough treatment by the giant, synthetic finger, Rainbow Dash judged her wings were okay. Taking a moment to give a stronger flap of her wings, she zoomed ahead and right up to Carousal Boutique's door. Opening it, she trotted inside.

Within the boutique, Rainbow Dash spotted Twilight. "Hey Twilight, where's your outfit?" She looked around the room—seeing only dresses.

Knowing what was coming, and hoping that it wouldn't have, Twilight blew out a breath. "The truth is, Rainbow Dash, I—"

"We're back! Did you miss us?" Pronking in, Pinkie Pie bounced right up to Twilight's side and leaned in to chastely kiss her on the cheek. "I hope we didn't interrupt anything? You weren't talking about a secret that totally isn't a secret, and how it would affect everypony's life if it got out?"

Rainbow Dash's eyes narrowed, and she hovered closer to Twilight. "What does she mean, 'Secret'?" Her words had gotten the attention of the others.

Walking forward, Fluttershy looked to Rainbow Dash—her closest friend since she was a filly—and looked at Twilight. "You can tell us, Twilight. We are your friends."

"Sugarcube, you know what keepin' secrets leads to? Ah'll give ya a hint, somethin' Ah ain't fond o'." Applejack cocked half a smile towards Twilight.

"I can't do this anymore!" Looking around the room, Twilight spotted a cup of tea that Rarity had likely been in the process of drinking at some point. Marching over to the drink, she tossed it down as if it were the strongest of Granny Smith's Special Dark Cider.

When Twilight turned around to face her friends, Pinkie Pie took her side. "It's all my fault!" Tears sprang forth.

"No it's not." Twilight reached a foreleg out and around Pinkie's withers, pulling her crying fillyfriend into a hug. "I'm not a stallion. I'm a mare. This…" She trailed off as the frowns she had been expecting didn't happen.

"Ah was angry at first." Stepping forward, Applejack only had a smile. "But when I asked Rarity, she pointed out something, you—"

"You never actually lied to us." Rainbow Dash cut in. "We made an assumption, and thinking back on it we were a bit pushy about it." Her explanation stalled a bit, at seeing Pinkie's expression turn from apologetic tears to hope.

The softest of voices cut through the moment. "We-We might have gone a little far…" Fluttershy was hiding almost completely behind her mane; only one of her eyes peeked around the curtain of pink mane.

"But,"—Applejack had waited for Fluttershy to finish, but only barely—"we made an agreement. If'n you told the honest truth, when asked, we wouldn't get mad at'cha." Stepping forward, Applejack held out her hoof. "M'name's Applejack, pleased t' meet'cha Twilight Sparkle."

Twilight looked from Applejack, to Rainbow Dash, to Fluttershy, and finally to Rarity. "You talked to them?"

Rarity got halfway through her nod before a heavy purple foreleg wrapped around her shoulders and pulled her forwards. Smooshed against her best friends, Rarity broke into a laugh and hugged back. "You realize this means I get to make dresses for you now? And not just for the Grand Galloping Gala."

Laughing at Twilight's resultant groan, Rainbow Dash pointed a hoof. "Now it's you she'll be chasing to try things on! You have no idea what it's like, but you soon will!"

"So nopony is mad at us?" Pinkie Pie looked around, getting a lot of shaking heads as her reply. "We need a special party, then!"

"We have one, Pinkie." Twilight gestured with one foreleg at the dresses that were awaiting fitting. "Remember? The Grand Galloping Gala?"

A shocked gasp pulled everypony's attention to Rarity. "Darlings! We have to hurry now or we'll be late!" She pointed her hooves at the dresses, but when her friends didn't immediately all teleport into them, she took it upon herself to begin herding them. "Come on! Come on! If any of these don't fit I won't have more than a few moments to adjust them!"

Twilight let go of the hug, and was suddenly being dragged towards Rarity by a light blue magic aura. "W-What are you doing?! Rarity!" Of course Twilight could have broken the grip, but if she did that it would have given Rarity a horn-ache.

Rarity stopped pulling when Twilight stood before her. "Twilight Sparkle, when you told me you wanted a dress, it meant you'd be wearing it. Now, hold still!"

"See!" Rainbow Dash elbowed Pinkie Pie. "I told you Twilight would be the one to put up with all of Rarity's attention now." She watched in complete schadenfreudig bliss as Twilight was worked into a huge dress. When Rainbow Dash looked for her own, she saw an empty ponequin.

"Got you." Rarity struck, plunging the dress over Rainbow Dash's head. "You know you have to all get dressed, right? Honestly, girls, I can't do this alone!" She would have, of course, but some hand-summoning unicorn's little stunt caused them all to be late.

Turning this way and that, Twilight likened the weight of the dress to her armor. "Is it meant to be this heavy?" While the weight was comparable to Royal Guard field plate, the dress didn't cling to her like armor would. The weight was in motion before she was, even breathing caused it to move around her.

"Silly Billy, you have to move with it." Pinkie Pie, somehow, slipped into her own outfit without anypony noticing. She pronked up beside Twilight (of course Rarity had made Pinkie's dress pronk-safe) and poked her fillyfriend in the chest. "You just need some practice. Follow me."

Twilight blinked in surprise, and using her magic to keep from tipping over, she followed Pinkie Pie to the middle of the room. "I don't see how you can teach me to walk in all of this in half a day, Pinkie."

"You already know how to move in it. Watch." Remembering Twilight's morning routine perfectly, Pinkie Pie shifted her weight and took a sudden stomp forward. "See?"

"I don't…" Trailing off, Twilight noticed how Pinkie Pie's (much lighter) dress moved a moment behind Pinkie's own movement. But something else had Twilight more astonished, Pinkie Pie seemed to glide across the floor. "That can't work. That shouldn't work! Wait a second, where did you learn to do that?" She gestured at the perfectly timed combat advance Pinkie Pie was demonstrating.

"If you think I don't spend half my mornings off watching you practice, you'd be wrong!" Pinkie turned to give Twilight a wink. In the process, however, she got her legs tangled in the dress and started to fall sideways.

Her own predicament suddenly became secondary, and Twilight rushed forward. Her body moved instinctively, the daily practiced drill propelling her to Pinkie Pie's side before she hit the ground. Catching her fillyfriend in her forelegs, Twilight realized she was leaning over a half-fallen Pinkie Pie—both of them wearing the most exquisite clothes—and she couldn't help herself. "You didn't have to fall for me this hard, Pinkie."

Pinkie Pie was stricken between giggles at the terrible pun, and returning the nose-rub Twilight was delivering with expert precision.

"Oh darlings. Look at them." Her heart melting, Rarity gazed on two mares wearing her creations, both obviously in love with the other. Her eyes widened, and sparkling stars seemed to cloud the corner of her vision.

Twilight kissed Pinkie Pie's cheek, now acutely aware that all their friends were watching them. "You should be more careful on your hooves." She straightened Pinkie up, and made sure she could balance before letting go.

"Who's to say I didn't trip,"—Pinkie Pie feigned falling again, but was simply wobbling in place on one hoof—"on purpose? I did get a smooch out of it, and you learned to walk in that dress." She giggled and dropped back to all fours.

"You're the best, you know that?" Rolling her eyes, Twilight leaned in to steal another kiss before turning back to their friends. Everypony seemed to suddenly be looking everywhere else. Everypony, that is, except Rarity. Practicing her walk, which was actually a slower practice march, Twilight felt all the fabric move around her, but kept her eyes on Rarity. "So, how did you know?"

"Know, Twilight?" Rarity batted her lashes, understanding the question, but wanting to goad Twilight a little. "Know what, dear?"

"Rarity!" Twilight knew teasing when she heard it, particularly from Rarity.

"I suspected something the first time we met, you do have some mare-like curves on all that muscle, you know. But Pinkie Pie threw me right off. I knew for a fact Pinkie Pie had a preference for stallions." Rarity blushed a little at her explanation. "But it was—and you have to understand, I have nothing against Her Royal Highness—Princess Luna's reaction to you. She stumbled over pronouns on several occasions. And there was the other things."

Twilight cocked her head a little to the side. "Other things?"

"When it went around you had made that ghastly spell all the stallions are using, I figured I had my best chance to test my theory. I waited until somepony commented on catching a glimpse of your derriere,"—Rarity coughed—"and had Lyra cast a magic detection at you."

"That's really clever." And it was, Twilight was more than a little astounded that somepony would go to such lengths. "How long ago was that?"

"One week." Rarity, seeing a loose piece of thread on Twilight's dress, rushed over with a needle to investigate. "I kept trying to tell myself that it was nothing, that maybe Lyra had made a mistake—you are Princess Celestia's private student."

"I'm sorry RariTY!" Twilight shouted the last few letters, when a sharp prick came from the pin Rarity poked in her plot.

Her demeanor warm, and showing no hint of malice, Rarity smiled. "That's quite alright, dear."

"I knew right from the start." Rainbow Dash, brash as ever, tried to strike a pose. Of course, she almost wound up worse off than Pinkie Pie, but recovered by flying out of her fall. "I meant to do that!"

"You didn't know, Rainbow Dash." Rolling her eyes at her friend's boast, Applejack had to stick to the truth. "Ah had no clue. When McIntosh said you had that spell, Ah figured you were just usin' that all the time."

"I knew…" Fluttershy's voice was so soft, it went unheard when Rainbow Dash confronted Applejack.

"What? Of course I knew! It was obvious by the way she moves!" Waving her forelegs at Twilight, Rainbow Dash got right up close to Applejack. "How could you not see she was a mare?"

Fluttershy looked at the two bickering ponies, and stepped back a little. "Um, I said I knew."

"Yer a liar, Rainbow Dash. If'n you knew, why didn't ya say somethin'?" Not one to back down when she knew she was right, Applejack pressed her case.

"Eeep…" Fluttershy backed up another step, and bumped into something. Taking that as an excuse to spin around and run, she started to turn.

"I heard you. You knew from the start?" Twilight stepped back from Fluttershy, to give her friend the room she needed.

"Oh. Um. Yeah…" Blushing, Fluttershy rubbed a hoof on the floor nervously. "When I first followed you to the library. Spike was riding on your back, and I was fol—following you."

Twilight realized she had finally found a pony that was observant in the town. "You saw?" But Fluttershy shook her head. Another thought sprang to Twilight's mind. "You smelled me?"

"N-No!" Fluttershy blushed crimson. "Sp-Spike said you were his big sister. But then I got confused at the party, because everypony else spoke about you as if you were a stallion, and I didn't want to embarrass myself…" The pink curtain pulled around, but was halted by a purple hoof.

"You shouldn't doubt yourself, Fluttershy. You are a clever pony. Spike didn't know about the misunderstanding until later, and by then he couldn't stop it if he tried." Twilight brushed Fluttershy's mane to the side so she could see her friend's blushing face. "We should probably go. Applejack and Rainbow Dash can catch up."

Fluttershy found herself giggling and nodding.

Rarity had to shoo her friends out. "We'll be late!" She feared for a moment she would need to break up hoofticuffs between Rainbow Dash and Applejack. "Please, girls!"

As the six friends walked from Carousel Boutique to the train station, one particular pony took notice of them. Big Mac stared at Twilight Sparkle. His heart sped up, and his breathing became ragged. Gulping, he opened his mouth and licked suddenly dry lips. "T-Twilight Sparkle,"—his voice was low—"you're the bravest stallion Ah've ever seen." Tears welled in his eyes, and for the first time in his life McIntosh saw a pretty dress that would have actually fit him. It was beautiful.

Author's Note

Rarity: Does this newest revelation of Twilight's actual sex bring with it a questioning, if not broadening of your sexual orientations?

Rarity fluttered her eyelashes for a moment, bewilderment plain as day on her face. "Well I—I hadn't really thought of that. I suppose I would have to say that it has given me a lot of ideas for new outfits. Why should mares be the only ponies who can wear dresses? And why shouldn't a chic, modern mare wear a fancy coat and vest?"

Twirling around, Rarity seemed completely oblivious to the question now. "I can see it now: next gala, we will all go in suits, and I will make the most exquisite dress for Spike!"

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And special thanks to the following, for careful eyes and friendly words:
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In the Magical Land of Equestria

"That's the food all taken care of." Spike ticked the item off his list. "At least, if you left any behind it might be. How can you eat so much, Twilight?" He reached down and poked Twilight's side—at the edge of her armor.

"Skipped lunch, remember? Princess Celestia summoned me just as I was done in class, and then I went straight to weapons practice." Twilight felt energized. "It was great food, though. I hope there are more celebrations here…" Her belly gurgled in gastronomic contentment. "So what's next?"

Spike looked down at the scroll "Well, there's supposed to be a pegasus named Rainbow Dash clearing the clouds." Craning his neck, Spike looked up at the cloud-filled sky. And was promptly knocked off Twilight's back when she did the same, and her helmet's crest shoved back into his face.

"I'm sorry Spike!" Twilight glanced up again once she saw Spike get up unhurt. "Where is this pegasus though? They don't seem to be doing a very good job, do they?"

Rainbow Dash herself was just finishing off practicing her latest aerial stunt and was trying to pull up on her barrel roll. Zooming just a few hoof-lengths from the ground, her attention was suddenly locked on the two Royal Guard pegasi walking through town.

Twilight stumbled as a blue pegasus with a rainbow mane crashed into her side. Bracing her legs, she held her feet while the stunned pony that hit her crumpled to the ground. "Why don't you watch where you are flying?" She paused a moment. "Are… Are you okay?"

"Of-Of course I am!" Rainbow Dash was seeing stars, and for a moment her eyes wouldn't uncross. A good shake of her head stopped the world spinning and let her focus. "Whoa…" She blinked at Twilight. "Uh… Hi!"

"Hello." Twilight decided that since nopony had been hurt, there was no reason to hold a grudge. "I'm Twilight Sparkle." She held out a hoof to the pegasus.

Rainbow Dash had to shake her head again. He's cute, Rainbow thought, then regained her focus. "I'm Rainbow Dash, the greatest flier in all Equestria!" Her eyes could help but trace the heavy armor on Twilight—every inch of it. Reaching up, she clopped her hoof against Twilight's.

"Just the pony we are looking for." The collision was water under the bridge now, as far as Twilight was concerned. "The Princess sent me to check up on the preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration. You are listed as the pony in charge of the weather?"

"Yeah, yeah." Rainbow Dash felt her wings twitching with a need to show off. "I'll get right on that once I am done practicing." She struck a pose, turning to the side, loosening both wings a fraction and tilting her head up.

"Practicing for what? Isn't Princess Celestia's Summer Sun Celebration the most important thing around here?" Twilight looked at the pegasus, and couldn't help admiring the mare's tight frame and astounding wingspan for her size.

"The Wonderbolts!" Puffing her chest out like the proudest peacock ever, Rainbow Dash made an expansive gesture to the sky. "They're performing tomorrow at the Celebration, and I—"

"Really?" Twilight brightened up. "Spike, where's the list?" She turned her attention to Spike, and completely failed to see Rainbow Dash's pose wilt just a little at the lack of attention. "Thanks, Spike."

"You're welcome." Spike twirled the pencil in his hand and looked at Rainbow. "So, you want to show off for the Wonderbolts?" He had cut to the quick, not that Rainbow cared.

"Do I?! I am going to be a Wonderbolt!" Rainbow Dash spread her wings to show off. "You'll see, they will see me flying, and doing stunts, and—"

Twilight smiled, but was worrying at how to swing the conversation back to getting the sky cleared in time for the Celebration. "I am sure when Captain Spitfire and—" She froze as Rainbow Dash rushed forward, and their snouts pressed together in a fashion more intimate than Twilight would have liked it.

"You know Spitfire?" Rainbow's heart was thudding in her chest. She hadn't meant to overreact and rush against Twilight, but finding somepony who knew one of her idols was overwhelming. Then a new voice whispered softly in the back of her head, This is technically your first kiss with a stallion.

Never having seen blue turn red so quickly, Twilight pulled back from the unintended intimate encounter. "Well, yeah. My brother is Captain of the Royal Guard. They often meet as part of their jobs, and usually do a bit of light training. Shining says it is good to learn the techniques of other regiments."

"Right, right. But you know Spitfire?" Her first kiss wasn't exactly a disappointment, not when Rainbow was meeting somepony who knew one of her idols. "You could totally get me to talk to her, right?"

"Well…" Twilight's brain connected all the threads of conversation and she smiled. "Well I could, but with the sky full of clouds I am going to have to call the whole Celebration off and move it somewhere…" She trailed off as a blue/rainbow streak shot into the sky. "… else." Smiling in satisfaction, Twilight watched with building amazement as Rainbow Dash not only cleared all the clouds from the sky, but did it in eight seconds flat.

"That's amazing…" Spike stared at the excited Rainbow Dash when she returned. "You're amazing!"

Twilight just nodded. "Impressive." She smiled even wider inwardly than out. "And so long as it stays clear like this I think the Summer Sun Celebration will definitely be here. Captain Spitfire will have a perfect view of the skies."

Snapping a wing up, Rainbow Dash saluted just like she had practiced. "You bet!" Her heart beat faster, getting praise from a hunky stallion she had just met—one that knew the Wonderbolts by name—made quite the impression on her ego.

"Keep up the good work. I might just be able to get a word in with Spitfire when she arrives." Twilight saw pure devotion to the new cause in Rainbow Dash's eyes. Before Twilight could continue, the pegasus launched herself—having spotted a cloud that had just dared peek its way over the horizon.

Spike snorted. "When did you get so tricky?" He took a few steps, and a jump, and landed astride Twilight's covered back.

"I didn't lie, Spike." Twilight rolled a hoof in the air and floated the list back to her brother. "Besides, she really is a great flier. Captain Spitfire keeps telling Shiny that she needs more talent."

"Next on the list?" Spike was already glancing down, reading through the items. He crossed off "weather" and looked below it. "Decorations. We need to go to the town hall for that." Spike pointed at the biggest building, smack in the middle of town.

Already the big building's exterior was dressed up with bright, summer colors. Twilight nodded appreciatively as she entered the front door. "This already looks well in hoof, Spike. I don't think we need to…" Twilight trailed off at the gasp from her back. "What's the matter, Spike? This all looks beautiful."

"It's not the decor…" His gaze fixed on the very image of marely beauty, Spike felt a lightness like never before. "Her…" Butterflies flapped and fluttered within him, and Spike pointed at the most beautiful mare he had ever seen. Perfect white fur covered her body, and Spike's eyes were pulled in so many directions. "Her legs are perfect. Her tail is perfect. Her mane is perfect. Her eyes—"

"I get it, Spike. She is definitely a pretty mare." While Twilight found the white unicorn beautiful, her trained mind still reached back to the memories of Rainbow Dash's body that showed years of training, or even Applejack who had seemed almost as strong as Twilight. Leaving Spike to stare, Twilight strode forward. "Good afternoon—"

"Just a moment, please." Rarity was working to put the finishing touches on a stage fit for a princess—literally. "I'm in the zone, as it were."

Twilight watched the mare natter away as she tied a large red bow to a trailing streamer from above. "I really didn't want to intrude, but Princess Celestia sent me to ensure that the Summer Sun Celebration was just perfect."

The preparations were done, but even if they weren't, Rarity would have immediately snapped her attention back on Twilight. "An official from Canterlot?" Rarity spun around to lay eyes on the pony speaking to her. I bet she is simply beautiful, considering the tone of her voice, Rarity thought, but when she saw Twilight she revised that. A stallion with a soft voice, Rarity's inner filly gave a soft squeal of excitement at the thought, Oh my! "Rarity, at your service. As you can see, I have all the decorations well in hoof."

"I was just here to see about the preperations, and then we will be out of your hair." Twilight smiled at the mare, and couldn't help but see her beauty blossom anew. When Rarity smiled, it was like staring at the sun itself. "Uh… my name is Twilight Sparkle."

"It certainly is." Rarity couldn't take her eyes off Twilight's form. The way her body carried the armor, the shape of her neck and mane, even Twilight's tail was cropped off a little short in a perfectly military manner. Rarity's heart beat a little faster, and her mind imagined marriage to a stallion just like Twilight. "Is that what you are wearing to the Celebration?"

Twilight blinked owlishly and looked down at her field plate. "Uh… Yes?"

"No, that simply won't do!" Rarity shook her head and rushed at Twilight. "Come along, I have the perfect idea for a wonderful ensemble to compliment your armor." Pressing her forehead against Twilight's side, she began pushing.

"Spike! Help!" Twilight, despite outweighing Rarity—particularly in her Royal Guard armor—was being pushed along by the power of fashion. A glance at Spike revealed the dragon staggering along, practically drooling in Rarity's wake.

Holding swatches of fabric against Twilight's side, Rarity was in her element. That she also had what she thought was the hunkiest stallion she had seen in her fitting room was something else entirely. "Hrmm." She moved the fabric in a parade, comparing colors with Twilight's complexion and the armor's shine. "Too yellow. Too green. Too plaid. Too octarine… Where did you say you are from?"

Twilight was bored, but that was a good thing. Royal Guard training had prepared her for this moment. She could get bored and still pay attention perfectly to her surroundings. Standing still for hours on end was another plus. "Canterlot." When Rarity gasped in surprise, Twilight lifted a hoof to forestall another verbal explosion from the fashionista. Not that it helped.

Words flowed into Twilight's head as Rarity was off on a new topic, but while keeping track of everything said, she was still bored. The moment Rarity's focus was elsewhere for more than a fraction of a second, Twilight made her break. "Come on, Spike!"

Yanked from where he stood, Spike was dragged outside by his sister. "What? Where? Who…" Just as his head began to clear, he remembered the vision of beauty that was Rarity. "Wasn't she wonderful?"

"Focus, Casanova." Twilight now knew a lot more about color combinations than she ever wanted to. Her training made sure she could recall every word Rarity said, but her mental stability was not in agreement with her training. "What's next on the list?"

Shaking his head to be able to think, Spike pulled the list up to his eyes. "Music. And it's the last one." As he spoke, soft whistling filtered through the air, catching his attention. "Is that…"

"It sounds amazing." Voice hushed to not disturb the beautiful notes on the breeze, Twilight sought the source of the music. The straightest path beckoned, and it pulled Twilight and Spike through a bush to see a yellow pegasus discussing music with some birds. What seemed to be a one-sided conversation was startlingly effective, as revealed when the chorus of avian began to sing again.

The singing birds were somehow even more perfect. Twilight would have just stomped out, but interrupting the music seemed like a crime. When the yellow pegasus finally cut them off and started talking to the birds again, Twilight had her chance. "Hello!" Despite her efforts at being unobtrusive, Twilight managed to scare half the birds away. "I'm so sorry! I was sent by Princess Celestia to oversee the Summer Sun Celebration, and I was checking in on the music. That is…" She trailed off and gestured to Spike.

"Fluttershy?" Spike read the name from his list, before suddenly being rushed by the yellow pegasus.

Her eyes widening in surprise, Fluttershy ignored what she thought was a stallion talking to her. "A baby dragon?!" Fluttershy couldn't hold back the rush of delight. "And he talks! I am just so excited I don't know what to say…"

Twilight did a double take. For the first time since arriving she hadn't been assaulted in some way. It was almost disappointing. "You are Fluttershy, right?"

Fluttershy's attention followed the dragon as he floated over and was set on Twilight's back. Forced to acknowledge the big pony, she felt herself suddenly grow meek. "…" Her mouth opened, but Fluttershy couldn't get a word out.

"Let's try again. Hi there, I'm Twilight Sparkle." Twilight was a little put off by being ignored, but she was seeing something new in the mare. "What's your name? Fluttershy?"

Almost completely locked up, Fluttershy noticed Spike on Twilight's back again. "Wait, wait! What's his name?"

"I'm Spike!" Spike was moving backwards, and only needed a quick glance to see Twilight was annoyed.

"Hi Spike, I'm Fluttershy. Wow, a talking dragon!" The world was brighter when Fluttershy was with an animal, but Spike was something completely new. She couldn't help but feel excited. And the stallion is pretty cute, too, Fluttershy thought, and immediately felt her face turn red in a hot blush. No, no, no. I can't let the chance to speak to a real live dragon slip away just because a big, strong unicorn stud is his friend, the thought solidified Fluttershy's resolve.

Twilight wasn't bored, but she was done with the situation. Everything she needed to know was handled: the pegasus was named Fluttershy, she was the pony in charge of the music, and the music seemed amazing. It was a tiny checklist in Twilight's head, and she was able to tick off each item on it.

Her eyes spotted the tree-house after hours of searching. The sun was going down, and having found the only building in Ponyville that matched the description of "A library in a tree," she was not about to give up. Turning, she saw that Fluttershy was still chatting away with Spike. Nope, Twilight thought, I am done. There was nothing that said I had to work overtime.

In the quickest and slickest move Twilight had ever performed, she extracted Spike from Fluttershy's conversation and slipped into the Golden Oaks Library.

Author's Note

Twilight Velvet: What was your initial reaction to your husband wanting to enlist your daughter into the Royal Guard?

"A little confusion. Night is a darling, but he has some of the strangest ideas. I raised my eyebrow at him several times, but he had a counter each time. In the end I allowed it for a week and..." Twilight Velvet sipped a cup of tea, a soft sigh of pleasure leaving her lips at the taste. "... and it worked. Little Twily was so talkative. She wouldn't stop talking about marching, and the colts she met in the academy. The filly was born to stand on her own four hooves, I could hardly say no after that."

So I do this "Ask x" thing, x can be any pony within the story. You can ask them anything and ~~I~~ they will definitely hopefully reply. Keep the questions appropriate to the age-rating of the stories and of course, ~~I~~ they will answer the best question(s) in the author notes of the next chapter. The more votes a comment has the more likely I will get it to the right pony to answer, try and keep it to one answer per post! ~~I~~ They will pick one question per chapter.

Support me on Patreon or fuel my writing on Ko-Fi!

Join me on Discord. Warning, said chat may contain NSFW material and should be considered adult in nature.

Awesome ponies who are already helping to keep me in keyboards and rum:
A.P.O.N.I.
Airy Words
Boulder
Canary in the Coal Mine
Daremo
Dio-Drogynous
Ian
Javarod
Mary Rowland
Mephia
Nils
Sirion123

And special thanks to the following, for careful eyes and friendly words:
Airy Words
Cross Lament
Vutava

Thus, the Two Sisters Maintained Balance for Their Kingdom and Their Subjects, All The Different Types of Ponies

Munching on a cookie, Twilight Sparkle was talking to Spike while reading. "I just can't believe that nopony cares." She nibbled a bit more of her fillyfriend's creation. "Is this how it is for everypony? Do we really not treat mares and stallions all that differently?"

"Depends." Spike was laying on his back. Beside his head was a bowl of crushed gems that were the perfect dragon snack food. "Stallions are the most common types in the Royal Guard, and mares are the more common leaders." He reached out a claw to grab a handful of gems and started munching on them. "Everything else is pretty balanced."

"Don't talk with your mouth full, Spike."

"Mmff." Spike gulped down the gems to free his mouth for talking again. "Well, what've you done to try to let them know you're a mare?"

"I have tried just about everything!" Turning the page in her book, Twilight tossed a hoof in the air. "I started going around without my armor on, and all that happened was even more mares turned to stare at me… Does that happen to all stallions?"

"Just us cute ones." Spike's smile grew as he reached for more gems.

Twilight froze for a moment, not wanting to fully contemplate Spike's reply. "I tried getting those fillies—Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo—to do my mane and tail. I was hoping for braids and bows."

"I saw that, it was awesome! How did they even find out about Yakyakistan war-braids anyway? It looked great!" Laughing, Spike almost curled up into a ball.

"So while Rarity was undoing the atrocity, I got her to do something a little more chic." Twilight's memory brought back flashes of the hairdo Rarity had constructed. "I didn't know a Mohawk could be that big…"

Spike had set his comic book down on his belly and was staring up at the ceiling. He gave a soft sigh and uttered one word, "Rarity…" With a new challenger for "Most emotion carried by a single word" firmly set, Spike smiled wistfully.

"That's another thing, isn't she a little old for you?" Squinting at the page, Twilight worked her way through a simple spell while she chatted. "She is a mare, and you're—"

"A brave, gallant dragon!" Performing a perfect sit-up, Spike stuck out his tongue at Twilight. "A dragon can dream, though." And he did.

"It is like they have some kind of filter, and once their minds are made up about whom somepony is, it is impossible to change it." Nibbling on another cookie, Twilight reflected on how good things were going with Pinkie "let's just keep having fun together" Pie. "Like the other day:

Kisses, I had decided, were just about a close third behind books and lists. Pinkie's lips were soft in all kinds of ways that I had never thought of something soft being so good before. Our eyes always focused on each other for just a moment before mutually fluttering closed, and then we both were in it just for the touch.

Today, Pinkie was in a boisterous mood. I could tell because her tongue was tickling the tips of my lips and making me want to curl my hooves and squirm in delight. Opening my eyes, I saw her looking, waiting for that exact moment.

I coughed and gasped. "Pinkie!" My gasping was replaced by laughter, but interspersed with more coughing. She had blown a raspberry against my lips at the last second and it was such a "Pinkie Pie" thing to do that I couldn't hold it against her if I tried. "You are irrepressible!"

"Made you smile!" Pinkie's voice and laugh was infectious, and I knew it wasn't just me it affected. All around the mare ponies seemed happier, their days brightened simply by seeing Pinkie. Leaning in, I kissed her briefly on the snout. "I." Another kiss. "Love." And a third that lingered a little more. "You."

Pinkie seemed to explode into movement, and I was suddenly caught up in the most intense kiss of my life. She held me close, pulled me against her with her forelegs and her lips were all I could think about. Her tongue didn't tease this time, didn't play games, it pushed into my mouth and flicked around to all the places she knew I was sensitive, and a few new ones.

Breaking the kiss, Pinkie smiled with an intensity she reserved for intimate moments and tricky baking. "And I love you too, my little book worm." Just knowing that tone and those words were for me made my heart catapult into the clouds higher than any pegasus could reach. "But I gotta go back to work. Have some cookies!"

Setting me back on my hooves, Pinkie Pie disappeared in a cloud of pink. Where she had stood, a bag of cookies—the paper covered in love hearts—sat. With my magic I picked up the bag, only to hear a pony behind me clear their throat.

Turning, I saw Big Mac standing almost right behind me, and his eyes were narrowed, focused. "Uh… Hi McIntosh."

"How'd you do that?" Big Mac walked up beside me, his tone accusing me of the highest of crimes… or so it seemed.

"Do what?" My size let me stand up to most stallions, but McIntosh was another matter. I felt small, tiny compared to his obvious muscle and mass. "I don't—"

"When Ah kiss my fillyfriend, Ah can't help but go rock hard." Big Mac's words shocked me enough that I couldn't actually follow them. They lined up in my head, and I am sure he said them, but no sense came.

My mind reeled and tried to put together meaning, but when a big hoof grabbed my back leg and lifted, everything in my head seemed to explode at once as McIntosh looked under my belly. "Hey! What are you doing?!"

"I knew it!" Big Mac's exclamation filled me with dread and hope at the same time. Surely he had seen enough to know I was a mare? "You are using magic to hide it!"

My foreleg lifted up and planted firmly on my forehead. "You have got to be kidding me?"

"So Big Mac thinks you are using magic to tuck?" Spike's claws both flew to his mouth in desperation to hold it closed. Eyes bugging out of his head, he managed at least five full seconds. Rolling around on his back, Spike let loose the biggest gales of laughter in his life. "You… and Big Mac…"

"Sure. Laugh it up." Twilight tossed a pillow at Spike, not that it affected him in the slightest. "So then I find out he was telling other stallions.

"You are such a good pony to bring all these. The foals love the adventure books." Nurse Redheart was carefully putting the books I had brought down, one by one, onto a little cart.

I was starting to manage not blushing every time I saw a stallion. It seemed like no matter who I talked to, Big Mac was walking away from them, an annoyed scowl on his face. I was taking a stack of books to Ponyville Hospital, and had just set them down at the nurses' office, when I heard a sound behind me.

"Psst!"

Turning my head, I spotted a unicorn stallion wearing the worst shave I had ever seen. He wasn't just synonymous with the hospital, he was notorious. "Doctor Horse?"

"Psst!" It was Doctor Horse making the ridiculous noise, and every brain cell in my head warned me that talking to him would be a terrible idea. "PSST!"

If a simple groan would've gotten me out of talking to him, the one I deployed would have been it. It was perfect, and Nurse Redheart gave a knowing titter when she heard it. "Excuse me, I think I have to talk to the doctor."

"Probably for the best." Nurse Redheart went from inspecting every book to looking right at my plot the moment I turned. She didn't think I noticed, but there was a reflection in the window beside Doctor Horse.

"PSST!" Doctor Horse looked eager, and now that I was facing him his face lit up. Backing up, he made room for me to enter his office. The room was glass fronted, with little blinds lowered to give him privacy. "What's the spell?"

I blinked, not catching on to his meaning at first. "Spell?" As if to answer, he lifted his leg and I saw a lot more than I ever needed to of a stallion. I turned away as quickly as I could, but even closing my eyes left a flash of the outline of his partially erect length. "Why would you…"

"The spell! Big Mac said you had a spell that would hide when you had a hard-on!" Doctor Horse walked to his door and, with his magic, opened the slats. I could see—not as well as he could, obviously—Nurse Redheart bending down to pick up the last of the books, her tail partly raised.

"The spell…" I didn't even know if there was one, but I knew for a fact that giving it to Doctor Horse was just about the worst idea I could ever have. "Let me get this straight. You want a spell to hide your… meat… so that you can walk around the hospital ogling the nurses?" His eager nod was not so much that it would make him lose sight of Nurse Redheart outside. "I can't believe this."

"What's not to believe? Come on, you can't hold out on me!" His tone was almost wheedling now, and while there was a spark in me that had sympathy for him, I had a lot more for the nurses he was going to have free-rein with—optically speaking at least.

"Look, I don't have—"

"Mac said you do, and he never lies. He said he saw it plain as day, or not." It took all my focus to look at Doctor Horse's head only. The one time my eyes strayed down I saw him again.

"Look. There is no spell, it just…" And then it hit me. There was a spell, it was a simple one too. An illusion that would fit the part exactly. I closed my eyes and begged Princess Celestia's forgiveness for what I was about to do. "Okay, but you have to promise not to tell anypony else?"

"Sure, whatever. I need it!"

Right then I was willing to do anything to both get out of his office and not have to see his throbbing, hard shaft again. And that tore it, now I couldn't stop thinking about his jutting, glistening length. Shaking my head, I quickly recalled the illusion, and tweaked it a little in my head. "I need paper."

Paper and a quill was practically thrown at me, and with my head bent over it I didn't have to look at Doctor Horse's huge shaft, or mentally picture it going into things. Scribing quickly, I jotted down the spell and finished it up with a flourish. To my horror, I realized I had signed it.

"You. Are. The. BEST!" Doctor Horse snatched the page away and his horn lit. Casting the spell was simple, it was no harder than some of the first spells a foal would learn. The magic bubbled in the air and wrapped around the Doctor's hindquarters.

I watched as his hips took on a slightly slimmer pose, and realized in my haste the spell wasn't just hiding his maleness, it was making him look slightly feminine. I had a moment of terror, when I expected Doctor Horse to scream at me in horror.

"This is perfect!" Doctor Horse caught sight of himself in the window glass and gaped. "And I have a cuter ass than Nurse Redheart!"

I knew he was rock hard, he knew he was rock hard. We both knew this fact and both had widely varying opinions as to how great it was, based entirely off the look of rapture on his face. "I… I am going to go now…"

"You actually gave him a spell that let him ogle mares?" Spike stared at Twilight in shock. "But… What would Princess Celestia think?"

"I feel terrible!" Twilight dropped her head to the floor and covered her eyes with both hooves. She lay there in terror of what Spike's report would bring, until her ears perked up. The sound of a baby dragon laughing riotously caused Twilight to pull back a hoof and peek. "Spike?"

"This is the funniest thing ever! And he was too busy staring at his own butt to ogle the nurses'?" Spike exploded into further bouts of laughter that no further words could escape.

"Huh…" Twilight pulled her other hoof away from her face and sat up. Thinking about the situation, she realized he had been more focused on his illusory derriere to chase after the nurse. "That… that might be a good thing…"

Twilight smiled and started to laugh along with Spike, remembering Pinkie's motto that "laughter was the best medicine." Then she froze. Her mind finally connected the dots, and she realized what the spell's effect would lead the Doctor, and anypony he spoke to about it, to believe. "They are never going to believe I am a mare! They are going to think it is the spell!"

Spike's laughter stopped and he sat up. Looking at Twilight, his little snout curled into a screwed up and scrunched expression, and then laughter to dwarf all the rest pealed forth.

Author's Note

Twilight Velvet and Night Light: what are your thoughts about Twilight having feelings for another mare and how do you feel about that?

"That's two questions." Twilight Velvet lifted her head from the scroll.

Night Light nodded. "And for two ponies. But I think we can answer them all the same." He drew a deep breath in, held it a moment and then let it out with a big grin. "Our little Twily has a fillyfriend!"

"It's wonderful!" Twilight Velvet seemed in complete agreement. "I remember when I first fell for a star-gazing stallion, his telescope was so—"

"This is rated E, Sugarcup." Night Light tapped Twilight Velvet on the snout.

Shaking her head to clear her of her husband's ill-timed hoof, Twilight Velvet blew a raspberry at Night. "No, it is M. We can talk about all the naughty bits we want, but not about using them."

Night Light raised an eyebrow and leaned in, pressing his snout to his wife's ear. His lips worked, and the longer he whispered the more and more excited Twilight Velvet looked.

"Excuse us!" Twilight Velvet lifted her husband up in her magic and started trotting for the exit. "I have some... uh... stars I need Night to look at with his... optical... equipment..."

So I do this "Ask x" thing, x can be any pony within the story. You can ask them anything and ~~I~~ they will definitely hopefully reply. Keep the questions appropriate to the age-rating of the stories and of course, ~~I~~ they will answer the best question(s) in the author notes of the next chapter. The more votes a comment has the more likely I will get it to the right pony to answer, try and keep it to one answer per post! ~~I~~ They will pick one question per chapter.

Support me on Patreon or fuel my writing on Ko-Fi!

Join me on Discord. Warning, said chat may contain NSFW material and should be considered adult in nature.

Awesome ponies who are already helping to keep me in keyboards and rum:
A.P.O.N.I.
Airy Words
Boulder
Canary in the Coal Mine
Daremo
Dio-Drogynous
Ian
Javarod
Mary Rowland
Mephia
Nils
Sirion123
Tanis

And special thanks to the following, for careful eyes and friendly words:
Airy Words
Cross Lament
Vutava