Shining Armor's Bemusing Dilemma

by Chengar Qordath

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Shining Armor, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Princess Cadance
Length: 12137

Shining Armor is utterly oblivious to the fact that Cadance likes him, and is incredibly jealous of his female friend Musette.

Shining Armor is a very happy stallion. Why shouldn't he be happy? He has a good job, good friends, and just a good life overall. Sure, it would be nice if Cadance saw him as more than just a friend, but that's a pipe dream. At least things are going well with his RPG group—especially now that they've been joined by a lovely fey mare named Musette.

Even better, Musette and Cadance are on the road to becoming best friends with each other. And really, why wouldn't they get along? It's not like either one of them could ever be interested in Shining, or would have any reason to not like each other.

Yup, everything is going to be just fine.

Published 2017-06-21 15:40:11 UTC
Last updated 2017-06-21 15:40:11 UTC

Shining Maybe Finally Gets A Little Bit Of A Clue

Musette’s place wasn’t the fanciest place in Canterlot, but the simple fact that she had her own house was pretty significant. Between being Equestria’s capital and the limited amount of real estate available on the side of a mountain, property prices in Canterlot were a bit nuts. Of course, Musette probably got her house the same way my family had: buying it centuries ago when property was still relatively cheap.

Not that Musette was hurting for bits—one time she’d taken me with her while shopping for a new sound system, and she’d dropped a staggering amount of money on getting the latest and greatest of everything. When I’d asked how she could afford it all, she’d chalked it up to a combination of grateful artists and compound interest.

I could feel her sound system at work as I knocked on the front door. And I do mean I was literally feeling it, since whatever song she was playing was heavy on the bass. As far as I could tell, Musette’s musical tastes were just about universal, as long as there was actual legitimate love going into the song. I’d never even heard of half the genres she was into.

The door opened up, and Musette grinned and dragged me in. “Dance with me, Shining!” Before I could even think of a response, she’d pulled me to the middle of the floor where she’d cleared out plenty of room for dancing. She started the song back from the top, eagerly moving with the fast beat and pumping her hooves in the air for the opening vocals and mouthing the words once the actual lyrics started up.

Hello, Singer. It’s me your muse

You will make something that’s real to show me how you feel

Hello. Hello. You are my inspired

You will sing

Your words of love with my name in every chord...

When I leave your music fades away.

From there the lyrics shifted to pure vocalizing. I did my best to keep up with her dancing, but I’ve never been a very good dancer. Kind of awful, actually. It runs in the family. The one time I’d tried dancing with Cadance at a school dance, I’d accidently stepped on her hoof bad enough that she had to spend the rest of the evening with an ice pack on it. Ever since then, I’d tried to stick with just kinda shuffling in place in a vaguely musical manner. That much seemed safe.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t enough to satisfy Musette. “I said dance, Shining! Come on, just lose yourself in the beat and have some fun!” She demonstrated, whirling around and flicking out her mane as the beat picked up speed for the chorus. She grinned at me, and I noticed her eyes had shifted over to the cat’s eye slits that showed whenever she wasn’t trying to subdue her fey nature. Her ears got a bit longer and pointier, and her mane billowed out as if caught in a breeze, despite the fact that we were indoors.

I felt a bit of fey glamour nudging at my mind, but it wasn’t focused or directed. I was pretty sure Musette wasn’t trying to mind control me or anything, just that she was getting so into the music that she wasn’t controlling herself. She probably was a bit bottled up after sitting through an entire concert while keeping her fey magic under control, so I guess it was no surprise she wanted a chance to cut loose.

I tried to think of what the proper thing to do under the circumstances would be, and could only come up with one answer. What harm was there in dancing with her?

You sold your strings, your songs, and dreams

And you found a single note to match the sound of love

Hello. Hello. It’s me again, your muse.

You will sing

Your words of love with my name in every chord...

When I leave your music fades away...

I did alright at first, probably because I was being very careful to avoid repeating the mistake I’d made with Cadance. In fact, that’s exactly why things went so horribly wrong: I was so busy making sure I didn’t replicate my previous failure that I wasn’t looking out for any of the new ways I could find to utterly fail at dancing.

I’d backed up a bit from Musette to make sure I didn’t accidently hit her, and wound up backing off a bit too far. My first warning sign was when one of my hooves bounced off a speaker, throwing me off balance. I tried to recover, but wound up tripping over one of the power cords and went tumbling. Right towards Musette, because of course that’s how it happened. Just falling flat on my face or rump wouldn’t have been nearly embarrassing enough.

Once I’d regained my bearings, I realized I was lying on top of Musette. Way too much on top of her. The one tiny part of my brain that wasn’t utterly mortified insisted on informing me that she felt very nice underneath me, but I blamed that on the lingering aftereffects of fey glamour. Yup, definitely just that. No other reason I would be thinking about how soft her coat was, or how her lips looked so ... kissable. I knew I probably shouldn’t be lying on top of her like this, but I was a bit too busy being paralyzed in terror to do anything else.

I probably never would’ve snapped out of it if not for Musette loudly clearing her throat. “Shining, sweetling, I’m flattered, but you didn't have to throw yourself at me.” She took a deep breath, and her appearance slowly shifted back to something entirely pony-like. “Also, you’re heavy.”

“Oh! Right!” I quickly scrambled off of her, blushing a bit when I realized that certain parts of my anatomy had gotten a little excited, especially since our positions meant there was no way Musette could’ve missed it. “Sorry, I didn’t ... an accident ... tripped ... tried dancing ... didn’t mean to, um, that. Sorry.”

She smiled and gave me a quick pat on the back. “I saw, don’t worry. Besides, you’re far too much of a gentlecolt to ever do something like that on purpose.” Her horn lit up as she shut off the music and moved her furniture back into place, settling down on the couch. “So, I think that’s enough dancing for now. I presume you came here to get your shirt back?”

I tried to get back to my hooves and pretend the whole awkward collision hadn’t happened. It seemed to be what Musette was doing, after all. Of course, it was easier said than done. It was hard not to look at her without remembering what had just happened, and how much I’d embarrassed myself. “Um, yes. That’s all I was here for. The shirt.”

She smiled, using her magic to make it float back into the room, neatly folded up. “Well, there you are. Thank you again for letting me borrow it.”

“You’re welcome.” As I set the shirt in my saddlebag, I caught the faintest whiff of Musette’s perfume lingering on it. It was a nature-y kind of scent, like fresh-cut grass or a forest in the fall, mixed in with just a hint of something exotic I couldn’t identify. I did know that whatever it was, it was nice. After I’d put the shirt up, I also realized I smelled a bit like it from running into her, which just reminded me of my screw-up all over again.. “Sorry for bothering you. I should, uh...”

Musette smiled reassuringly and gave me a quick pat on the hoof. “You’re not bothering me, Shining. Do you think I would’ve asked you to dance with me if I didn’t want you around?” She waved, encompassing her entire home. “You will always be welcome in my home, so long as you remain a dear friend to me and behave as a proper guest.”

“Oh. Thanks.” With anypony else I probably would’ve been a bit miffed over the caveats, but considering she couldn’t break a promise once she’d made it, adding in an escape clause was pretty sensible. In that light, her promising me anything was pretty cool. “Thanks. That’s, um ... thanks. Means a lot.”

She inclined her head. “You have shown me kindness and acceptance. Far more than I had any right to expect given the circumstances in which we met. It would be rather churlish of me to not extend the same.” She paused a moment, then amended. “Besides, I like you.”

“Yeah? I like you, too.” A moment later I realized how that might sound. “Um, as a friend. In a purely friendly way. For friendship.”

She turned to me with a raised eyebrow. “But of course. What else could you have possibly meant?”

“Um...” I couldn’t think of a good answer to that. The thing was, while I’d been in love with Cadance since forever, I’d definitely ... well ... noticed Musette since I started spending time with her. I wasn’t sure how to feel about that. I mean, it seemed kinda wrong to notice other mares who weren’t Cadance, almost like I was cheating on her. Of course, that didn’t make any sense. How could I be cheating on Cadance when we weren’t anything but friends? It was ... it was all weird and uncomfortable.

And speaking of Cadance... “Actually, there was one other thing I wanted to talk to you about.”

Musette leaned back and smiled knowingly. “Let me guess: it’s about the fight I had with Cadance?”

Well, so much for my vague and completely unrealistic hope that Cadance had just been imagining her subtextual argument with Musette. I sighed and got down to it. “Yeah. Cadey gave me an earful about it as soon as we got out of the shop. I’m ... well, you two are both really good friends, and I don’t want to get stuck in the middle. If there’s any way I can help you work out whatever’s wrong...”

“Naturally.” Musette sighed and shook her head. “Though really, I think you’re talking to the wrong mare when it comes to resolving this matter. I had no issues with her, while she was shooting jealous glares my way from the moment she realized I was with you.”

“Huh?” I knew she would almost certainly tell me I was wrong about this, but... “I never saw her glaring at you. She was just smiling.”

Musette sighed and rolled her eyes in a way that was uncannily similar to how Cadance had when I’d failed to grasp the secret language of mares. “Her lips were smiling, yes. Her eyes were glaring. Didn’t anypony teach you to read body language?”

“Yeah, the Guard did.” I shook my head. “Though I think they were more focused on combat stuff. If one of you was thinking about pulling a concealed weapon and stabbing the other, I would’ve noticed that.”

“There’s a tempting thought.” I glowered at her, and she sighed. “What? I was kidding!”

“You’re fey,” I pointed out. “You couldn't have said it if it wasn’t true.”

She scoffed and shot a halfhearted glare my way. “Okay, fine, but it’s not like ponies or fey have to act on every minor little temptation that comes along. Besides, I’m allowed to be a little tempted after she started the whole thing.”

I frowned and crossed my forelegs over my chest. “Okay, I know I don’t speak girl, but I’m pretty sure you weren’t innocent. Cadance certainly believed you were saying all kinds of nasty things about her.”

“She is entitled to believe whatever she wishes,” Musette shrugged. “Regardless, we wouldn’t have had any sort of altercation if she hadn’t started it. I might not be raging with suppressed jealousy like she was, but I could hardly fail to respond. Just as fey are expected to return kindness to those who show it to us, so we respond in kind to those who wrong us.” She grinned and lightly ran a hoof down my foreleg. “Besides, I didn’t like her attitude.”

I grimaced and shook my head. “I really don’t think Cadance ... well, I’ve never known her to start a fight like you’re saying she did.”

Musette shrugged my objection away. “Perhaps this is simply a side to her that you haven’t seen yet. After all, she normally doesn’t have to deal with a stallion she clearly has a crush on appearing to be dating another mare. Jealousy always brings out the worst in ponies.”

I blinked, and my jaw dropped as I tried to make sense of what she’d just said. “Wait, did you just say that Cadance has a crush on me?”

Musette frowned at me. “Are you saying you didn't—” She cut herself off, sighing and flopping back on the couch. “Of course you couldn't tell. She didn’t pin you down and scream it in your face while using a marker to write it out in huge letters.”

“But, that’s not...” There was just no way Cadance could be into me. After all... “She thinks I'm gay!”

Musette sighed and rolled her eyes. “Shining, a mare would have to be completely blind, deaf, and stupid not to realize you’re into girls. I catch you checking me out all the time.” I was about to deny it, but that was almost certainly a lost cause. “Regardless of her thoughts on your orientation, Cadance definitely fancies you. Why else would she be absolutely raging with jealousy when she thought I was your date?” She paused, then grinned. “Oh, and by the way, she would hardly think I was your date if she didn’t know you liked mares.”

That didn’t make any sense. How could Cadance possibly like me? She was a princess, and I was just ... well, me. For a moment I wondered if Musette was lying ... except she was a fey. She couldn’t outright lie to me. I guess she could just be mistaken ... but given my track record with mares, I was probably better off trusting her judgement than my own. But that meant that Cadance ... that she ...

Oh.

Oh!

Oh wow. That was ... huh.

Cool.

Musette cleared her throat, reminding me that I was still in her house, talking to her. I hadn’t meant to ignore her, but finding out the mare I’d had a crush on for years might feel the same way was pretty big. Musette shot a faintly annoyed look my way, then continued. “Moving on, I presume you're worried about being caught between the two of us while we have some sort of feud over you?”

“Uh ... yeah, more-or-less that.” One of the first pieces of advice Dad gave me when I’d gotten old enough to realize girls didn’t have cooties was to never be in the middle of two angry mares. Dad usually knew what he was talking about, so...

Musette smiled knowingly. “Well, I can solve your dilemma easily enough. I have no interest in pursuing a romantic relationship with you.”

“That's ... good?” I wasn’t quite sure what to think about getting preemptively shot down by Musette. It’s not like I’d wanted to hook up with her or anything, but .... I dunno. Just hearing her flat-out say that she wasn’t the slightest bit interested in me still kinda hurt my pride. I mean, yeah, I loved Cadance and not her ... but she could’ve been just a little sad about that.

Musette smiled and squeezed my hoof. “You’re a nice guy and all, but...”

“Yeah, I get it.”

“I mean, do I even need to go into the long list of reasons why it would be a terrible idea for us to take things past friendship?”

I groaned and buried my face in my hooves. “Okay, okay, I get it, you’re not into me.”

She sighed and shifted over to sit next to me. “Shining, fey don’t work like ponies. The sort of relationship you and Cadance would have is ... very different from what happens when fey mix with mortals. As your friend, I think it would be in your best interests to pursue what you have with Cadance.”

“Oh.” I puzzled through what she’d just said. “So, wait, does that mean...?”

Musette smirked and leaned over, her breath tickling my ear as she whispered into it. “Let’s just say that if I was a bit less altruistic, I would’ve been willing to risk getting into a fight with an alicorn princess, and none of the other reasons it was a bad idea were a factor ... well, you could probably make a good enough offer for me to make one of those prurient bargains Cadance was asking about earlier.”

“MURP!”

Musette leaned back, giggling to herself while my brain tried to reassert control over the rest of my body. “But enough about a hypothetical that will never come to pass, let’s focus on the present. When it comes my current differences with Cadance, the simplest solution is for the two of you to become a couple. She won't worry that I’m stealing you away from her if she knows you like her and not me.” She paused a moment, then amended, “And yes, I know you have a crush on her. I noticed it about thirty seconds after you started talking about her for the first time.”

I was briefly tempted to try denying it, but what would the point be? “Yeah, I do. I have since forever.” Or at least since the first time she smiled at me. She had a nice smile.

“Well, what are you waiting for then?” She grinned and shooed me towards the door. “Go! Tell her how you feel! That way, all of our problems will be solved.”

I groaned and slumped down on the couch. “You say that like it’s so easy. Do you really think I can just go up to Cadance and tell her I’m in love with her?”

“I’m sure you…” Musette hesitated, then grimaced and shook her head. “I have every confidence that you are capable of speaking those words to her.”

I wasn’t completely clueless. “You had to change what you were going to say because you couldn’t say I would be fine. Because that would be a lie.”

“I also could have changed the wording of my statement because what I initially planned to say would not have flowed naturally,” Musette temporized.

“It could have been,” I conceded. “But was it?”

Musette was silent for several seconds, then tried an abrupt change of subject. “Perhaps you just need a bit of practice to build up your confidence.”

I knew she was weaseling out of answering my question, but all things considered I could survive not hearing that she believed I was utterly hopeless with mares. “I guess that’s worth a shot. I mean, the last time I tried to tell her, I messed it up so bad she thought I was gay.”

“How did you even ... never mind.” She leaned back in her seat, grinning at me. “Alright then. Pretend I’m Cadance.”

“Um, just like that?” I hesitated, my eyes dropping down to my hooves. “Well, um, what should I do? I can’t just—”

“Seduce me,” Musette cut in. “Sweep me off my hooves with your romantic skills.”

My jaw dropped. “W-what? Seduce you?! I don't know ... what if I do too good a job of it, and you get the wrong idea? That happened in one of my mom’s favorite movies, and...”

Musette rolled her eyes, then darted forward. Before I realized what she had planned, her lips were on mine, feather-light, like the opening stanza to a song. It only lasted for the barest second before she backed away.

“Dunmurgle,” I squeaked out. “Ahdintle neegle urp!”

She smirked and settled back into her chair. “I think I'll be able to resist your charms.”

“Gurk a derp merp!”

Her horn lit up, and a second later a glass full of cold water upended itself onto my head.

“Gah!” I jumped in shock trying to shake the water off before too much of it soaked in. “Okay, okay, you made your point! Not going to seduce the millennia-old fey who’s probably seen every trick in the book. Especially since I have no idea what I’m doing.”

Musette was silent for several seconds before finally saying. “Well ... I’m sure you have a great deal of potential.”

I groaned and buried my face in my hooves. “I really am doomed if that was the nicest thing you could come up with. Sometimes I really wish you could lie to spare my feelings. So do you think I actually have any real potential, or was that just a nice way of saying that I’m so terrible that it’d be impossible for me to not improve?”

Musette frowned, then responded. “Yes.”

Weaseling out of giving me an answer again, but I was inclined to let it slide. I really didn’t need to know exactly how hopeless she thought I was. Well, actually... “Do you even think I stand a chance with Cadance?” Maybe this was all some fiendish plot of hers to make me talk to Cadance, knowing that I would probably botch it so badly that Cadey would never want to talk to me again. Which would clear the road for her to have wicked way with me.

Musette took a deep breath, then settled in next to me and gave me a quick friendly hug. “Shining, you know how I like music the performers put their heart and soul into, even if they’re not perfect on the technical aspects?”

I nodded along. “Yeah, you talk about it all the time.”

“Well, that principle goes double for love songs. A love song without any love in the performance doesn’t work at all, and a lot of the best love songs ever made are very simple on a technical level, but the singer really put their heart into it.” She gave my shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “I would imagine the same is true of other things involving love. Showing her you care is far more important than picking the exact right words.”

“That ... okay, that makes me feel a bit better.” Since I’d been crushing on Cadance for years, it wouldn’t be too hard to just ... kinda say whatever while putting that out there. Right?

“Well, then, what are you waiting for?” Musette leaned back, giving me a friendly smile that was uncannily like the one Cadance had whenever she saw me. When she spoke, her voice was an almost pitch-perfect copy of Cadance’s. “Hello, Shining. How are you?”

“I, uh, I’m good.” I could already feel the nervous sweat starting to build up on the back of my neck. I hadn’t expected Musette to impersonate Cadance, or to almost perfectly copy her voice. “Sooo, um, so you look ... nice, Musette.”

“Thank you, Shining Armor. You look nice too.”

I could already feel my cheeks heating up. “Um.” I tried to for a friendly smile, but I think it came out more like a terrified rictus. That, or the way Mane-iac looked when the Power Ponies fell into one of her death traps. “So, want to go out? On a date? Uh, a date with me, that is. If you want. It's okay if you don't, because we've been friends since forever. But if you want, that'd be cool. Really, it’s whatever you want. I’d be fine either way. I just ... um ... yeah, dates and stuff. If you wanna go out with someone else, that’s fine too. I could even help—”

Musette held up a hoof to cut me off, breaking character. “I think that’s more than enough. I think I see your biggest problem: you need a bit more confidence. I’m sure all your Guard training included lessons on how important it is for an officer to always seem sure and in control of themselves, right?”

“That came up a lot, yeah.” I frowned and shook my head. “I don’t think it’s the same kind of confidence, though. I mean, I can’t order her to go on a date with me like she’s a soldier under my command. Pretty sure that would make her think I’d gone nuts.”

“Well, I didn’t say to treat her exactly like that.” Musette ran a hoof through her mane. “And your confidence needs to be tempered so it doesn’t come across as brash or egotistical, or like you’re taking her acceptance for granted. Mares hate being taken for granted.”

“So confident, but not too confident, and not ... ugh.” I groaned and clutched the sides of my head. “It’s like mares speak a foreign language! How am I supposed to tell her how I feel when I can’t understand half of what’s going on in her head?!”

Musette sighed and shook her head. “Mares really aren’t that hard to figure out, Shining. You just need to actually pay attention and listen to what they’re saying. And honestly, stallions can be just as bad when it comes to not saying what’s on their mind. The whole reason you and Cadance haven’t hooked up despite obvious mutual attraction is that neither one of you has had the guts to be open and honest about your feelings.”

“It’s not like I never tried to tell her I liked her,” I mumbled. “I just ... it never quite worked out right.”

“Because you didn’t make it work” She frowned at me. “You say your last try ended with her thinking you were gay? You do realize you were fully capable of clearing that up in less than a dozen words, right?” Just say ‘I’m not gay, I like you.’ Easy and done.”

“Yeah, but...” My ears drooped down as I confessed, “Well, I was really embarrassed, and I kinda figured that maybe the reason she didn’t get the hint was that she didn’t like me that way.”

“And I’m sure she thought the exact same thing when she dropped hints that you missed,” Musette countered.

"But why would she think that?" I cocked my head to the side, utterly bewildered. "I mean, she's a beautiful perfect princess, and I'm just ... just me."

"Two things." Musette counted them off on her hooves. "First, don't put her up on a pedestal. Nopony is perfect, and the more you build her up in your mind the harder it will be to ever approach her. Second, the fact that she's a conventionally beautiful mare and royalty would make any perceived rejection from you that much more painful. Tell me, what do you think whenever a mare rejects your advances?"

"Um..." I felt my cheeks warm up as I confessed. "Mostly that I must've said something really stupid or something? Or that I had the wrong idea, and she just sees me as a friend. Or ... well, I guess that I screwed up." Comprehension dawned a moment later. "Wait, you're not saying that she feels the same way, are you? Because that's not what it was at all!"

Musette groaned and ran a hoof down her face. “Mortals. You’re both so afraid of being rejected and getting hurt that neither one of your will actually tell the other how you feel. Instead, you spend all this time dropping hints and dancing around the subject so neither one of you will expose yourself to possible heartbreak. Which ends up leaving you both unhappy because you have terrible communication skills. Just be honest, like fey.”

I couldn’t let that pass without comment. “Aren’t fey notorious tricksters who are great at finding a way to lie while still technically telling the truth?”

Musette shot an unamused glare my way. “I don’t see how that’s relevant to the point I was making. Just be honest with her and the matter will sort itself out.”

“You make it sound a lot simpler than it is,” I grumbled.

“It’s only complicated because you mortals make it complicated.” She poked me in the chest. “Telling her really is that simple. You’ve spent years wrapping yourself in knots over a problem you could’ve solved in seconds. Now stop making excuses.”

“But—”

“No buts!” She paused a moment, then amended, “Well, we can take advantage of that cute little butt of yours, but that’s another matter entirely.”

I groaned, and my cheeks warmed up again. “Okay, fine. I’ll give it a shot, as long as you stop talking about my butt.”

She grinned impishly. “I make no promises. Now, show me what you can do.”

“Right. Confident and honest. I can do that.” I took a deep breath, then tried to put up the sort of attitude I used whenever I was in command. “Hello Cadance, doing alright?”

She smiled back at me, and her voice shifted back to that uncanny imitation of Cadance’s. I guess that must have been something she got good at from having to match just about every singing range that had ever existed. “Yes, I am. How are you, Shining?”

“I’m good. So...” I tried to say the next part, but the words suddenly got a lot harder. “Um, would you like to ... go out someplace?”

Musette groaned. “Shining. Direct, confident. Honest. Were you any of those?”

“I'm trying.” I buried my face in my hooves. “It’s just ... my brain shuts down whenever I try to think of what to say.”

“Then don’t use your brain.” She poked me in the ribs. “You’re overthinking this. Speak from the heart.”

I took a moment to silently thank her for resisting the urge to crack a joke about how not using my brain should come naturally to me. “I think it's my heart assaulting and laying siege to my brain that's causing the shutdown.”

“I swear, at this rate I’ll have to sit in the bushes and feed you lines...” Musette trotted over to me and took my hoof. “Try something like this.” She cleared her throat, then dropped into a much deeper and slightly dopey-sounding voice. “Cadance, I've liked you for a long time. Will you go out on a date with me?”

“Huh. When you say it like that...” Well, if I’d been Cadance I would’ve totally gone out with me after hearing that. But did my voice really sound like that?

Musette nodded. “Now, repeat what I just said.”

I took deep breath. “Right. So ... Cadance, I've liked you for a while now. Want to go on a date?”

“Again!” Musette snapped, sounding like a grumpy drill sergeant.

“Cadance, I've liked you for a long time, now. Would you like to go out with me?”

“One more time!

“Hey Cadance. I've been thinking about this for a while now. I like you a lot, and I’d like to go out on a date with you.”

Musette grinned and slapped me on the back. “I think you're ready.”

I headed to Cadance’s as soon as I’d woken up and made myself vaguely presentable. I would’ve done it sooner, if not for how late it was by the time I finished things up with Musette. Waking Cadance up in the middle of the night to ask her out probably wouldn’t have helped my chances.

The guards on Cadance’s tower had rotated out, so at least I didn’t have the deal with the same ones who had seen me last night. After my talk with Musette I was about seventy-five percent sure she’d dropped a hint that I’d missed. Probably would’ve saved me a lot of trouble if I wasn’t so hopeless when it came to that kind of thing.

The tower guards knew I was one of Cadance’s friends, so I didn’t have any trouble knocking on her door. She answered a second later. “Oh. Hello, Shining.” I caught the briefest flicker of annoyance on her face before she covered it up with a friendly smile. Yup, she was definitely a bit mad at me. Maybe I should wait a couple weeks, until she wasn’t...

No. If I put it off now, I’d keep finding excuses not to talk to her. I’d been doing it for years by this point; it was safe to say I’d established a pattern. I just needed to remember what Musette had told me last night. Confident. Direct. Honest.

I’d practiced it with Musette until I’d gotten down perfectly. Now all I needed to do now was say it to Cadance.

Yup. I could totally do that. It was so easy.

I was going to do it.

Any second now.

Any. Second. Now.

...

I’m so pathetic.

It occurred to me that I hadn’t even said one word to her yet. I’d just been standing at there, staring at her with what was almost certainly a stupid look on my face. Well, maybe it wasn’t that bad. Maybe it felt like a whole lot longer than it actually was. In Guard training, they talked about how a fight could feel like it had gone on for hours when it had actually only been a couple minutes. Maybe this was like that. Sure, I felt like I’d been paralyzed with terror for a long time, but maybe it had actually only been a few seconds...

Cadance frowned and crossed her forelegs over her chest. “Shining, are you planning on saying anything, or did you just come here to—”

“I’m not gay!” I blurted out.

“Uh—what?”

Not what I’d planned to say, but it was better than nothing. “I’m, uh, I’m not ... I like mares.”

Cadance snorted. “Duh.”

“You knew?” Sure, Musette had already said she did, but hearing it from Cadance herself counted a lot more. “But that time back at school...”

“Yes, when you talked about wanting to date one of your friends, I got the wrong idea.” She chuckled and shook her head. “The next time we walked past the cheerleader tryouts, I figured out which way your barn door swung.”

“Oh.” Well, that was several years of angst that had been completely unnecessary. “So. Uh. Yeah. I like mares. Pink mares.”

“I’d gathered as much,” she shot back coolly. A second later I remembered that Musette was pink too, albeit a slightly different shade than Cadance. Oops.

I tried to recover from my stumble. “I didn’t mean ... what I meant was ... uh...”

“Yes?” she demanded archly.

“I like alicorn pink mares who have a tri-colored mane and are my best friend named Cadance!”

I’d said it.

Holy Celestia, I’d actually said it!

Well, in for a bit... “And ... uh ... I was wondering if ... you’d like to go out and get some lunch or something. You know, since I like you.”

Cadance stared at me like I’d grown a second head. I wasn’t sure what reaction I’d expected from her. Probably either throwing herself at me and proclaiming her undying love, or scornfully rejecting me and having her guards throw me out of the palace and/or lock me in the dungeon. Instead she just stood there, staring at me. After several seconds she finally spoke, a bit of a nervous tremor in her voice. “Yeah, okay.”

I couldn’t believe my ears. “Really?”

“Really.” She smiled at me. “Give me a couple minutes to get ready, and we’ll go get some lunch. I know a great little café in the cloud district.”

“Alright.” We smiled at each other, and she slowly slipped back into her tower. I managed to play it cool until the door closed, and for a couples seconds past that.

I jumped up into the air, pumping a hoof in victory. “YAHOO! I did it! Who’s the greatest stallion in all of Equestria? I AM! I got a date with Cadaaaance~! I got a date with Cadaaance~!”

I was halfway through my victory dance when one of the guards loudly cleared his throat, reminding me that they were both there. And they had just seen the whole thing. Well, that was embarrassing. At least this couldn’t possibly get any wor—

“Sir,” one of the guards dutifully informed me. “The Princess likes to keep the windows open on warm days.”

“Oh.” Perhaps it was my ears playing tricks on me, but I swore I could hear Cadance giggling from inside her tower. “Well ... horseapples.”

The other guardpony, a mare, smiled at me. “Don’t worry, I don’t think the princess minds a bit of enthusiasm.”

“That was more than a bit, Shields,” her companion grunted.

I thought it over for a second, then shrugged. “Out of all the embarrassing things I’ve done or had happen to me around Cadance, that probably doesn’t make the top ten. If she agreed to date me after all that, I think I’ll survive.”

I trotted over to the palace gardens. I might not know much about mares, but even I knew that when one said they needed ‘just a few minutes’ to get ready, it would usually end up taking a lot longer. Might as well find somewhere comfortable to wait.

Pretty soon after I got there, I heard flute music drifting on the wind. I decided to follow it to the source to confirm a sneaking suspicion. I found Musette playing the same sort of odd double-flute that was on the flank of her pony form. She smiled when she saw me, setting her flute aside. “Can you blame me for wanting to see how it played out?”

I shrugged. “Not really. Though I have to wonder if you were planning on doing more than just being a passive observer.”

Musette smirked at me. “It’s possible that if you had flubbed it too badly, you might have felt a sudden and intense urge to break into song and perform a surprisingly well-improvised romantic ballad. Fortunately, you were more than capable of handling it by yourself.”

“Heh, yeah, guess I was.” I rubbed the back on my mane. “Well, not entirely on my own. You did help me out with getting ready for it, even if I didn’t stick to our plan.”

She smiled and half-bowed to me. “Shining, I’m a muse. Everything you did was your own skill, work, and talent. I just ... gave you a little nudge to help it all come together.”

“I guess.” I grinned and trotted over to give her a quick friendly hug. “Still, I owe you one.”

Something flickered across Musette’s eyes, and her smiled widened. “Yes. Yes you do.”

A second later I realized what I’d just done. “Wait, I didn’t mean like—” I groaned and rubbed my forehead. “Oh come on, Musette. I thought we were friends. Are you really going to—”

“A true friend repays their debts and returns favors,” Musette answered with a grin. “Don’t worry, Shining. I promise it won’t be anything too onerous. And honestly, you’d probably do a favor I asked for even if you didn’t have any debts to repay.” She grinned and nudged me back towards Cadance’s tower. “But not today. Go spend some time with your new girlfriend and have fun. I would hardly want to ruin what should be a happy day for you.”

“Right.” As I headed back towards Cadance, I quickly forgot about owing Musette a favor. All things considered that was a small price to pay for the mare of my dreams. I did favors for my other friends all the time without making a big deal over it.

“Oh, Shining?” Musette called out after me.

I paused. “Yeah?”

“You did remember to bring enough bits to pay for the meal, didn’t you?”

I quickly checked how many bits I had in my saddlebag. I’d run through most of my spare cash at the concert last night. “Hey, Musette, would you mind loaning me...” I trailed off as I realized I was halfway through asking a fey for yet another favor.

Musette rolled her eyes and dropped hooffull of bits into my bag. “It’s just bits. Pay me back whenever you have the cash on you. Now go have fun!”

I headed back to Cadance, and we spent the rest of the day doing exactly that.

Author's Note

As always, thanks to my pre-reading and editing team for all their hard work. Also, I would like to thank all my dedicated Patreon supporters. You guys are awesome.

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They Must Be Friends. They're Talking About Shoes!

Cancelling game night is usually a real bummer, but I had no regrets. Spear had scored concert tickets for Flanchard, and since they were one of our favorite bands to listen to while gaming he’d invited all of us to tag along. Dexter had to cancel at the last minute, so it was just me, Musette, Spear Head, and Flying Pommel. We’d all been pretty pumped for the show, because a rock band that sings about games, history, and historical games is pretty much the coolest idea for a band ever.

Once the concert was over, I said what everyone was thinking. “That was awesome!”

“I know!” Spear hopped onto a statue of Greenwall the Victorious and started belting out his favorite song.

“News that came that morning told that Manehattan was enslaved,

Wings and talons crashed down on the hooves running in vain

The defenders slain and the city lost to the High King’s foul claws

The runners’ hooves ‘cross Equestria as they made the call to war!”

I hopped up next to him and joined in. “Gryphons attack!

Fight back-to-back!

Preserve Manehattan—

Form up, hold the line!

Your shield with mine

Celestia preserve us

“Young lives cut short, hunted for sport, foul king to thwart

Manehattan awaits you

Equestria’s here with reddened spear—we show no fear.”

Musette grinned up at the two of us. “If I had known you two would love going to concerts this much, I would’ve suggested it a long time ago. It was nice to see a band that cares so deeply about their music.”

Pommel snorted and rolled her eyes. “Yeah, the concert was great. Listening to those two mangle the songs we just paid to hear done properly...”

Spear hopped off the statue, his head held high. “It doesn’t matter how good we are as long as we sing with our hearts. Right, Musette?”

“There is something to be said for enthusiasm.” She grinned and poked me in the side. “That said, it’s much easier to appreciate how much you’re singing from your heart if you manage to be on-key and actually get the lyrics right. It’s ‘crimson spear’, not ‘reddened’.”

“We were close enough,” Spear grumbled.

“Yeah, it’s not like she’s a muse or anything.” Pommel smirked at both of us. “What does she know about music?”

I sighed and rolled my eyes. “I'm a soldier, not a musician.”

“Yeah, I put all my art skill points into sculpture and painting. There weren’t any left over for singing,” Spear countered.

Pommel snorted. “Only you could explain your terrible singing voice with RPG mechanics. Lucky for you, I’ve got a +10 resistance bonus to my saving throws versus exasperation.” She yawned, covering her mouth with a wing. “And speaking of, I think I just got a natural one on my roll to not be exhausted. See you guys later.”

Spear checked his watch. “Whoa, time flies when you’re having fun. I better bail too. I’ve got a morning shift, and I’d like to get some sleep before work.”

“Best march home then,” I agreed. “The Guard can’t afford to have soldiers who’re dead on their hooves.”

Spear scoffed. “Just because you outrank me doesn’t mean you can boss me around.”

“Actually, that’s exactly what it means.”

Spear snorted and shook his head. “I’m not in your chain of command, Shiny-hiney. Anyway, catch you later.” He trotted off, leaving me alone with Musette.

I double-checked the time: “So ... it’s pretty late. Guess I better walk you home.” Sure, Musette was a ridiculously ancient and powerful fey creature, but it was dark out and she was still a girl. Even if she didn’t need protection, it was still polite to walk her home.

Musette grinned at me. “Such a gentlecolt. Alright then, lead the way.”

It was a bit weird to just be hanging out with a creature like Musette. Sure, most of the time she just looked like an incredibly beautiful unicorn mare, but she was actually one of the ancient muses. I’d never gotten a straight answer for how old she actually was, and all things considered I was probably happier not knowing. It would probably make game night really weird if I knew that one of my gaming buddies was as old as Celestia.

The wind picked up a bit, sending a cold gust down the streets. Musette let out a surprised yelp, shivering. “I knew I should’ve brought a cloak...” She grabbed one of my hooves and leaned against me, smiling.

“Murp!” I agreed, my cheeks heating up more than enough to keep me warm. What can I say? Even if she was an incredibly old fey creature, she was also a pretty girl leaning up against me. She looked nice. She felt nice. She smelled nice. It was all really nice ... and a little bit terrifying. Okay, a lot terrifying. I hadn’t quite figured out the whole ‘girls’ thing yet, but I did know I was entirely too good at saying the wrong thing with them. I tried to work out something resembling a complete sentence. “Um ... you cold?”

“A little, yeah.” She batted her eyelashes at me. “I'm not a big, strong stallion with all that muscle to keep me warm.” She leaned in a bit closer, resting her head on my shoulder. “I guess it’s a good thing you’re here to keep me from freezing.”

“Gurp!” I took a couple seconds to reboot my brain, which was having a hard time thinking about anything other than how nice Musette’s mane was. “Um ... I uh ...” I blinked a couple times and finally remembered that I’d bought a concert shirt. I quickly dug it out of my saddlebag and offered it to her. “You, uh, you said you were cold, right? So, uh ... that is .. .it’s um ... it’s not a cloak, but...”

Musette grinned impishly at me. “Now Shining, you know I can't accept gifts without giving something back in return.”

Oh, right. That was a fey thing. It was hard to brain when she was right there, touching me and looking so nice. “Um ... I’m not giving it to you, I’m just letting you borrow it for a bit so you won't be cold. That’s alright, right?

Musette pursed her lips. “Hm, that does help, but even if you’re just loaning it to me, I still ought to do something to return the favor.”

She leaned in closer, and I didn’t realize what she had in mind until I felt her lips on my cheek. The kiss itself was quick, warm, and ... nice. Very nice. I felt a sudden, almost irresistible urge to break into song which I was inclined to blame on her muse-ness. Maybe I would’ve, if I wasn’t so embarrassed that I was trying to figure out if I could blush myself to death.

Musette smirked, mischief twinkling in her eyes. “There, now we’re even.” Her horn lit up as she pulled on her borrowed shirt.

“Murgle,” I squeaked out by way of agreement.

Musette snickered. “Let me know when you can form complete sentences again. Anyway, as I recall you don’t have anything to do tomorrow, so I suggest a change of plans. The night is young, and I’m still pumped up from getting to see an entire concert. If I’m having a night on the town, it definitely won’t be alone.” She wrapped one of her hooves around mine. “Congratulations, you just became my date for the night.”

My brain struggled to process what she’d just said. “Duh—dah—daaaaa...”

Musette rolled her eyes. “I suppose there had to be something to balance out all those rugged good looks. Anyway, where should we go? Dancing is obviously out unless I want you stomping all over my hooves, but I’m sure we could come up with something else. I suppose we could always go to a club and—”

My mouth finally managed to start speaking actual words again. “D-did you just say we were going on a date?!”

She paused, crossing her her forelegs over her chest. “No, I said you’re going to be my date, not that we’re going on a date. It’s an important distinction.”

My head slowly cocked to the side. “It is?”

Musette sighed and shook her head. “Don’t worry, your virginity is safe from me.”

“My virg—” I sputtered indignity. “I’m not ... that is, um...” Musette started giggling at me, and I finally figured out what was going on. “You’re messing with me, aren’t you?”

She answered me with the sort of smile that I usually only saw when Mom caught Twilight trying to ‘perform scientific experiments’ on the cookie jar and its contents. “Do you really think I would do something like that?”

Well, that confirmed it. Musette could never look that innocent unless she was utterly guilty. Despite my best efforts to work up an angry disapproving scowl, I found myself grinning. “I guess I am an easy target.”

“Just a bit,” she agreed.

I groaned. “You don’t have to agree with me, you know.”

“But I’m a fey.” Musette smirked and playfully nudged my shoulder. “That means I have to speak the truth. Besides, on top of you making it easy to tease you, you also make it far too much fun. How could I possibly resist?”

“I’m sure you could find a way if you really wanted to,” I grumbled. “So, if you’re going to spend all night dragging me all over Canterlot looking for good music, is it okay if we get something to eat first?”

“They had food at the concert hall.”

“Sure, if I wanted to pay five bits for a big pretzel and seven for a bottle of cider.” It’s not that I couldn’t have afforded it, but the idea of paying five bits for something I could get for one bit at the grocery store just irked me. “Anyway, it’s a bit late for anywhere nice to be open, so how does Doughnut Joe’s sound?” Joe always stayed open late, since half his customers were college students in the middle of late-night cram sessions. I know I’d gotten through preparing for half of my West Hoof exams on a steady supply of sugar and caffeine.

Musette shrugged. “Lead the way.”

It was a quick trot to Joe’s, since the Flanchard concert had been pretty close to his shop. The usual collection of cadets and college students in various stages of academic burnout occupied most of the tables, blearily going over textbooks and scrawling down semi-legible notes. There were a couple familiar faces from my all-too-recent cadet days, and one who was a lot nearer and dearer. “Cadance!”

Cadance looked up from her mass of papers. “Shining?” She grinned at me, then shoved some books aside to make room. “What a surprise! Aunt Celestia has me going over...” She slowly trailed off, her eyes going over my shoulder and focusing on Musette. The smile froze on her face. “Shiny? Why don’t you introduce me to your friend?”

Musette stepped up next to me, her eyes quickly flicking over Cadance while Cadey did the same to her. It was one of those things mares do—kinda like how the Guard trained me to look over someone’s weapons, armor and other equipment ... except it was manestyles, makeup, and other girly stuff. Musette smiled at her. “You must be Princess Cadance. Shining’s told me so much about you.” She slipped into the booth opposite Cadance, and I followed her in since Cadey’s side was still full of books.

“I wish I could say the same,” Cadance returned.

Musette turned and playfully whapped my shoulder. “Shining! How could you not tell her about me? After how much time we've been spending together.” She turned back to Cadance, showing off her shirt. “We actually just got back from a Flanchard concert. Shining got me this shirt—isn’t it just lovely?”

“Lovely.” Cadance turned to me. “Shining, why don’t you introduce me to your date?”

Oh! She thought Musette was my... “Uh, she’s not ... well, actually she kinda is, but not really, it’s... um...” I tried to remember how Musette had explained it earlier. “She’s ... she’s not my date, but we are going out on a date? Or was it the other ... um...” I groaned and stopped talking before I could embarrass myself even more, took a deep breath, and then started over. “Er ... Cadance, this is Musette. Musette, this is Princess Cadance. Musette's one of my gaming friends, so ... uh ... yeah.”

Musette offered Cadance her hoof. “It's nice to finally meet you after everything I’ve heard about you from Shining. I was starting to wonder if any mare could live up to all the wonderful things he’s said.” She looked Cadance over again, then smiled.

“Shining has always been incredibly perceptive,” Cadance answered. “More than anypony else I’ve met.” She shook Musette’s hoof, then blinked and frowned at her. “Wait a minute, you're not a pony. That must mean ... you’re fey, aren't you?”

I cut in before any misunderstandings could crop up. “Yeah, she's a muse.”

“A muse?” Cadance tapped her chin. “Right, Aunt Celestia told me about you. I really should’ve guessed from the name. Only a muse would use such a wonderfully original alias.”

Musette shrugged. “I spend all my time inspiring creativity in others, and right now I’m not exactly working incognito.”

“Then why not use your real name?” Cadance suggested. “What was it again ... Clio?”

Musette shook her head. “That’s my sister,”

“Erato?”

“Also my sister.” Musette held up a hoof. “I hope you’re not going to go down the entire list. You know fey don’t like to give out their true names. The last thing I need is half the aspiring musicians in Canterlot trying to summon me so they can cut a deal. Besides, everypony’s used to calling me Musette. Changing it now would just be bothersome.”

“And I do know Musette’s real name,” I chimed in. “Just, you know, she didn’t want me using it all the time and by now I’m used to calling her Musette, so...” It had come up while I was sorting out all the paperwork from when I first met Musette during that whole mess with Vinyl.

“Oh.” Cadance slumped down in her seat, pulling out a donut and nibbling on it.

Musette smiled and wrapped an arm over my shoulders. “I know I can trust Shining with my name. He’s far too much of a gentlecolt to take advantage of it. Between that and how creative he can be, is it any surprise I like spending time with him? You should see some of the things he’s come up with when he’s the one running things for game night.”

Doughnut Joe was dropping off more of his signature pastries as well as fresh coffee for everyone. I could feel my cheeks warming up when I realized he could probably hear everything Musette had just said about me, and I chuckled sheepishly. “I do alright.”

“Don’t be so modest, Shining.” She grinned and nudged me. “Sir Noble Braveheart was a great character, and the bard you’re helping me build looks like it’ll be really fun too.” She shifted her attention to Cadance. “It’s a shame you’ve never joined us for game night, but I suppose not everyone enjoys the things we like. Besides, you’ve clearly got more important things to deal with.” Her eyes flicked down to the books Cadance was going over. “Actually, what are you working on right now? At first I thought you were in college, but you’re obviously a bit too old to still be a student.”

Cadance smiled at her again. She seemed to be doing that a lot. “I’m done with my formal education, but Aunt Celestia is still teaching me everything I need to know to be a proper princess. I suppose royal responsibilities are something fey don’t worry about.”

Musette chuckled and nodded. “I suppose everyone learns at their own speed, and some of us do need more time and education to grow into our roles in life than others.” Her eyes flicked over Cadance again. “You know, I really must congratulate you. I have heard that many mares lose quite a bit of weight while in college from all the stress and hard work, but I see that wasn't a problem for you. Clearly the palace chefs kept you very well fed.”

Cadance was in the middle of sipping her coffee when Musette said that, and she nearly choked on it. Joe always did serve his coffee a bit too hot so it would still be warm half an hour into a study session. Cadance set her drink aside, focusing on Musette. “You know, I've always been impressed by the effects of fey glamour. I've heard it’s some of the most impressive illusion work in existence, and can make even the most hideous beast look appealing.”

Musette smirked and took one of the doughnuts for herself. “I've heard that the most beautiful creatures can secretly have a hideous beast within them.” She nodded at the doughnut Cadance had been working her way through. “Much like that, except with evil and ugliness instead of fattening custard.”

Cadance picked up the doughnut on Musette’s plate, carefully inspecting it. “Ah, good, I was worried you might have gotten one of the grape ones. Joe had trouble with them earlier when the grapes went sour.”

I grimaced—the ones stuffed with grape jelly were one of my favorites. Still, it was nice of Cadance to warn us about that. Musette must’ve felt the same way, because she really started laying on the compliments. “I really love what you’ve done with your mane. It must take hours and a small army of servants to get it looking that good. And that’s not even getting into how long it takes to get all that makeup on. I’m amazed you have time to study at all after that.”

“Oh, it’s nothing that special,” Cadance answered with a smile. “This took me less than five minutes, all by myself. Not like your mane. It’s so impressive I have a hard time believing it’s not a product of fey glamour.”

Musette nodded, scooting a bit closer to me while she looked down at Cadance’s hooves. “I love your shoes. It’s such a classic old-fashioned design, not to mention how slimming they must be.”

Cadance returned the favor. “Oh, don’t get me started on yours. Shoes like that just scream ‘Come and get me!’ to every stallion on the street.”

So, they were complimenting each other’s shoes and manes? At this rate, they were going to be such good friends that they’d spend all night talking about mare stuff and forget I was even there. I decided to jump in and reassert control “Hey Cadance, Musette and I were planning on going out on the town. We hadn’t decided where, but I wanted to go check out this place I heard about called Adventures and Ale. It's supposed to be real cool. Wanna come with?”

Cadance sighed and looked down at the paperwork covering her table. “Sorry, but I’m afraid I can't. I’m sure Musette will make a very experienced drinking partner for you, though. I’m glad you’ll be there to to look out for her and make sure nothing unfortunate happens if she overindulges. I’m sure you’ve heard stories about mares drinking a bit too much, then winding up in bed with a complete stranger.”

Musette wrapped her forelegs around mine, resting her head on my shoulder. “I suppose I do feel so much safer walking around Canterlot at night with him. Did you know he always insists on walking me home if our game sessions run late?”

“Really?” Cadance asked with a raised eyebrow. “I would’ve thought that someone as old and experienced as you could manage just fine on your own.”

“True.” Musette’s grip on my leg tightened a bit. “Still, it’s sweet how protective he is. He must really care a lot about me.”

I could feel my cheeks going red again. “I’m just ... um ... well, Mom always said I should treat ladies properly, so that’s what I try to do. I’m sure you can take care of yourself, it’s just ... you know ... manners and stuff.”

“And I for one appreciate it.” Musette pressed against me in a way that made my blush ten times worse. “Sometimes a girl just likes having a strong stallion escort her home after a long night.”

Cadance smiled and nodded along. “Oh yes, it’s a classic image. The damsel in distress, and the brave strong stallion who helps her when she can’t protect herself.”

Musette chuckled and shook her head. “Those sorts of stories were outdated back when my sister was inspiring ponies to chisel their sagas on cave walls. Especially when so many of those damsels are princesses. Wherever do ponies get such ideas in their heads?”

“I don’t have the slightest idea.” Cadance murmured.

Musette nodded and smiled. “It is a bit silly. Everypony is familiar with all the amazing things Princess Celestia has done, and the monsters she’s vanquished and imprisoned. And you ... well, I’m sure you’ll have your own list of accomplishments soon enough.”

Cadance set down the doughnut she’d just taken a bite out of, a sour look on her face. No wonder she looked so mad, she’d gotten one of the ones with coconut on them. Really, who puts coconut on a donut? That’s just gross. “I hope you and Shining have a lovely evening together. Just make sure to drink responsibly, or you might get confused and walk out with the band instead.”

“Good advice, I’ll keep that in mind.” Musette grinned and tapped her chin thoughtfully. “I suppose that is one advantage you would have over me, isn’t it? No matter how much everypony drinks, you never need to worry about anypony accidently walking out with you. You’re so lucky that way.”

Cadance bolted up from her seat so fast I wondered if she was about to make a beeline for the bathroom. A steady diet of doughnuts and coffee for several hours will do that. Instead she marched over our side of the table and took my hoof. “Shining, I just remembered something important I need to discuss with you.”

I blinked and tried to figure out what she was talking about. “Uh. Sure. What’s—”

“Alone.” Cadance shot a rather pointed look Musette’s way.

Musette leaned back, looking the two of us over. “Now whyever do you need to be alone with Shining Armor this late at night, away from from the public eye?” She smirked, and I saw the old teasing glint in her eye. “Careful, or ponies might talk.”

My cheeks caught fire again. Truth be told, I wouldn’t mind if ponies talked about me and Cadance. I’d mind it even less if there was actually a good reason for them to talk. I’d had a bit of a crush on Cadance since ... well, since about thirty seconds after I met her. How could I not? She was just so ... perfect. Too bad she had no idea I was into her. In fact, last I’d heard she still thought I was gay.

“Gossip rarely has any basis in reality,” Cadance answered, to my vague disappointment. Not that I’d expected her to suddenly announce that she did want to be my girlfriend or anything ... but it would’ve been nice if she had. Instead she smiled at Musette again. “Speaking of gossip, there was one thing I was wondering about because of all the talk I’ve heard. How often do fey make bargains of a ... prurient nature? I'm sure you have a great deal of experience with that.”

Musette chuckled softly. “Why do you ask? Did you want to make a prurient bargain with me?”

“GURP!” That sentence filled my mind with all sorts of mental images, most of which were highly inappropriate and none of which bear mentioning.

Cadance was blushing almost as much as I was, and she grabbed my hoof and practically dragged me out of the room. “We’re leaving. Now.”

As Cadance dragged me out of the shop, Musette smiled and waved goodbye. “See you later, Shining. Feel free to drop by my place later tonight to get your shirt back.”

I would’ve answered, but Cadance pulled me out the door before I could think of anything to say.

Cadance pulled me along for half a dozen blocks before she started slowing down. She was clearly a little worked up about something, but I had no idea what. I probably should’ve asked what was on her mind, but past experience with mares said that silence might be more prudent. I didn’t want her yelling at me about how it should be obvious why she was upset, and that if I couldn’t figure it out on my own she certainly wasn’t going to tell me. Besides, if she wanted me to know what was on her mind she would. Probably at great length and detail. Girls always seem to like talking about feelings, emotions, and how they feel about their emotions.

Cadance finally slowed down once we were halfway back to the palace, though she was still a bit flushed. “Ugh, I can’t believe you get along with that ... thing! She has to be the most unpleasant creature I’ve ever met.”

“Huh?” I stopped in my tracks now that Cadance was finally letting me walk on my own again. “What are you talking about? I thought you and Musette were getting along just fine. I mean, you were talking about how much you liked each other’s shoes.”

“Getting along?!” Cadance whirled around to face me, her wings flaring out. “Were you even listening to what she was saying?!”

“Uh...” I shuffled in place, nervously rubbing the back of my head. I had a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach warning me that whatever I was about to say would almost certainly be the wrong answer. “She was saying stuff like how much she liked your mane. That’s good, right?”

The flat, disapproving look Cadance answered with confirmed that I’d flubbed it up. “That's what she said, but what she was really saying was that my mane was so ugly it requires an army of servants to make it look good.”

“Huh?” I hadn’t picked up anything like that. At all. They’d spent most of the time smiling and complimenting each other, but if Cadance was mad and said they’d actually been trading insults the whole time. “Wait, is this one of those things where a mare says one thing but means the opposite?” I’d learned about that the hard way after finding out that when Mom said that I didn’t need to do anything special for Mother’s Day, she actually meant ... well, suffice to say things hadn’t ended well for me.

“Something like that, yes.” Cadance sighed and ran a hoof through her mane. “It’s ... honestly, if you can understand sarcasm it should be simple enough. Didn't your parents ever teach you about listening to what ponies were really saying?”

“Of course.” It wasn’t like I was completely hopeless. It was just ... well, girls were weird and scary and I didn’t understand them. “So you two hate each other?

Cadance sighed, and her eyes flicked down to the street. “I don’t ... Aunt Celestia always says that hate is a poisonous emotion. I’m not wild about Musette, but...” She trailed off uncertainly.

“Oh.” I frowned, puzzling over it. “Why don’t you like her? She's pretty nice once you get to know her.”

She scowled at me. “Shining, you know what fey are like. They’re manipulative. She’s probably spent a lot of time and effort making you think she’s much nicer than she really is. Have you completely forgotten about what she was up to when you first met her? Fey ... they aren’t like ponies, and equimorphizing them is going to get you into trouble sooner or later. They don’t ... they don’t feel and care about others the way ponies do.”

I shuffled uncomfortably, feeling compelled to defend my absent friend. “Yeah, but Musette's ... she’s one of the good ones. Hay, we became such good friends because she’d made a bad deal and I helped her get out of it.”

Cadance shot another flat, annoyed look my way. “Shining, just because she looks like a pretty face instead of being a slobbering pony-eating monster doesn’t mean she’s good. How many times has she tried to make a deal with you, or with somepony else while in your company?”

“She hasn’t ever done anything like that since she joined the group,” I assured her. “I took classes on fey back at West Hoof, Cadance. I know how to handle her.”

She sighed and shook her head .”Just ... Shining, be careful with her. I don’t want you to end up being hurt by her. You deserve better than that.”

I could feel myself blushing a bit, and tried to cover it up. “I guess.” I noticed we were getting pretty close to the palace. I hadn’t exactly planned on walking her home, but apparently that’s what I’d done.

Cadance smiled at the two guards keeping watch over her private tower, and they stepped aside to let us pass. She paused in the doorway, then cleared her throat. “So, Shining, would you like to come in for coffee?”

I blinked, then shook my head. “No thanks, it’s way too late for me. If I have coffee now I’ll be up all night. Besides, I want to stop by Musette’s so I can get my shirt back.” It was a limited edition exclusive Flanchard t-shirt, so there was literally no way I could replace it if I forgot about it. And, let’s face it, if I didn’t get it back tonight I probably would forget.

Cadance stared at me for several seconds, her face an unreadable mask. “Right then. Goodnight, Shining.” Before I could say the same, she shut the door in my face.

One of the guards, a grizzled old veteran whose nameplate identified him as Sgt. Plum, cleared his throat. “Second lieutenant?”

“Uh, yes?” I blinked, then shook my head. “Wait, how did you know that? I’m not in uniform.”

“Lucky guess.” The faintest grin flickered across his face. “Only an officer could have such keen insight and careful attention to detail.” He paused for long moment, then amended, “Sir.”

“Um ... right.” I was almost certain he was making fun of me, but I’d already learned the hard way that newbie officers shouldn’t butt heads with veteran sergeants. Making a big deal over it would probably just turn it into a story that would circulate through the entirety of the royal guard by this time tomorrow.

I sighed, then turned around and headed for Musette’s.

Author's Note

As always, thanks to my pre-reading and editing team for all their hard work. Also, I would like to thank all my dedicated Patreon supporters. You guys are awesome.

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