Celestia rolled over in her bed and sighed. It was almost time to raise the sun, she could feel it in her bones. Still she swaddled herself in the comforts of her own sheets, uneager to meet the day. The previous night had passed away in hardship just like the entire prior week had. There was not much sleep to be had, well maybe a few minutes or an hour. She wasn't all to sure on that note. That wasn't surprising at all given her only Sister's recent banishment.
That was when she kissed hope to a peaceful nights rest good-bye. However great the pain she felt was, she believed it to be little penance for what Luna had suffered through.
So without leaving the comfort of her own bed, she lit her horn aglow and performed her royal duty. Brilliant slivers of sunlight began peeking through slits in the curtains, serving as evidence that her task was successful. All at once her curtains pulled apart letting in the blindingly bright light.
Cellie winced harshly as she rolled the other way to avoid the nuisance.
"Now Princess," a familiar voice began. "As harsh as it might sound now, you must try to start getting back into the swing of things. It will be good for you. Nopony expects miracles from you in this trying time but there are things that still need your attention. How about we start with some breakfast?"
The voice belonged to Kibitz, her faithful schedule keeper and general adviser. Despite being an older unicorn he seemed to be filled with much more pep and energy than most stallions half his age. He attributed his youthful vigor to the miracle elixir he called 'prune juice'. Celestia herself was never fond of the stuff and Luna hadn't been either but that did little to discourage him from trying to shove it down their throats at nearly every given opportunity.
She shuddered slightly before turning to face him. Her hair was limp and somewhat frazzled with her complexion faring no better. "Just leave me be, Kibitz. Leave me to waste away in these chambers and die!"
Being the professional he was, Kibitz appeared unfazed by this and spoke with confidence. "My word, Princess. You really haven't been sleeping well have you? Very well, I shall notify everypony you won't be joining them today. Not to worry, I shall handle everything. Just be sure to rest up for tomorrow, Your Majesty."
"Wait..." Celestia held up her hoof, which stopped him from leaving. "I suppose I should eat something. I'll get up to eat before I go back down."
"As you wish!" Kibitz tossed her slippers and bathrobe onto the bed. "If you are sure you're feeling up to it, I shall go and heat up some water for your shower without delay."
"S-shower?" She shot straight up in her bed. That hardly sounded like something that needed to be placed on the agenda to her ears.
Kibitz chuckled. "But of course Princess. We simply can't risk anypony seeing you in your current um...state of being. It is important to keep up appearances you know."
"Appearances? Who will see me but the guards and perhaps a few kitchen staff?" She could hardly believe him sometimes. Of course she cared about how other ponies, even castle staff, perceived their ruler. Sometimes though, she couldn't help but feel that every once in a great while even a pony Princess should be able to say, 'the heck with it!' and move on.
With his magic he gently placed both slippers over her hooves and slipped on her white silk robe as well. "It is not only hygienic but a good shower will also help you relieve tension. Thus, you'll feel better overall."
Celestia scoffed at the very idea. Her defiance was plain as she laid back down, throwing the covers over her whole form. "I don't want a shower. J-Just have the food sent up to my room, I'll eat it in here. Shower free and in peace."
"Preposterous, milady." Kibitz stated, standing his ground. "You must shower and come eat a proper meal with us in the dining hall."
"What?" Cellie cocked her head sideways with confusion. "Just a minute ago you were perfectly content to have me just roll over and go back to sleep! Now here you are trying to deny me a quick bite to eat before I do just that unless I am to shower first and eat my meal in some other room?"
"Exactly, your highness." he thrust the blankets off of her. "Because now that the idea is in my head, I can't think of anything else that could possibly be better for you!"
"What about my happiness?" Celestia pouted. "Being a filthy mess and stuffing my face with cake right here in my own comfy bed and room, that would make me the happiest. That's much better than some dumb old shower, right?"
She chuckled nervously at his stern expression. Obviously he was so not having it this morning.
"I was against you eating a nutritious meal in your quarters. Now that you have revealed this horrid cake nonsense to be your true desire, I know now what I must do. ...Forgive me, Princess."
"Wha-" Celestia hardly had time to speak as she felt his magic wrap around her tail and forcefully begin to pull her off the bed. The very object that had been both her shelter and place of comfort for the last seven days.
~ THUNK!! ~
Her posterior hit the ground with a quite audible thud and she was being dragged across the floor and toward the door, tail first!
"Nooo, I don't wanna!" Celestia sobbed, crocodile tears filled her eyes in an attempt to stop the madness. "Nooo!" she flailed her limbs all about, occasionally she would make a fruitless grab at the tile. "My bed! It misses me! It calls to me! I am not happy with you Kibitz, do you hear me! Shower evil, BED GOOOD!"
"Aargh!" Kibitz struggled with her wriggling form. "Urragh! I-I must say, despite your lack of food lately, you'd think this would be a much easier task. Remind me to have your chefs prepare you a salad."
Her eyes widened in horror. "Now you're calling me fat?! First you rip me from my beautiful bed and now you have the audacity to call me overweight? To the dungeons with you, Kibitz! The dungeons!"
"Hah! We don't have dungeons, Princess." He was now almost out of the room at least. "We have Tartarus, remember?" Now all it would be was just another lovely fight down the remainder of the hall toward the bathroom.
"To Tartarus with thee then!" She began to flail her limbs even more frantically. Suddenly she saw the room begin to spin about her. In all the struggle she had forgotten to breathe. Compounded with a lack of sleep and food she wasn't doing great for the moment.
Her speech became much less coherent. "A...t-thousmund cu-urses at thee Kibitz. ...Thou hast now incurred the wrath of...o-of...of the Mighty Sun Horsey! Prepare to be photosynthe-ma-sized?!"
She began to settle down, whether it was from a lack of energy or her now learning to accept her fate, Kibitz didn't care.
"Better hurry up, before she catches a second wind." Kibitz thought to himself.
The journey down the hall was all a big blur to her. While Kibitz heated up her water she was treated to a full hoof and back massage by her servants. Even for that she barely held consciousness. Sleep was finally whispering it's sweet song into her fluffy ears. The next sensation she felt was that of hot water spraying against her back. Instantly she shot up into full alert.
"What? Who? Where?! Kiiibiiitzz!" she shot him a devilish scowl as he came around the corner and happily tossed her some soap and a bath luffa.
He was however quick to take note of her sour demeanor. With the enormous bags under her droopy eyes and a soggy grimace that could turn even a Cockatrice to stone it appeared just as if her face were melting off.
He chuckled upon seeing her. At least he was in good spirits. "Now if only I could have harnessed that heated look of your's toward the cold water, it would've been plenty hot in no time! Hurry along no-"
She slammed the door hard at his face before he could even finish speaking. If she had been forced to endure looking at his smug mug for just a second longer, she would soon have to be on the hunt for a replacement 'Master Scheduler'.
But she had to admit to herself that the water did feel nice and relaxing.
"What in the world could be taking her so long?" Kibitz looked at the massive clock on the wall. "Why, she's been showering for nearly fifteen minutes!"
He glanced at the pair of guards in the doorway who merely shrugged the message of 'We haven't a clue.'
He grew even more worried when the kitchen staff appeared, wheeling in several trays of food for her meal. "Maybe I should go to check on her."
"That won't be necessary my friend." spoke Celestia as she came strolling through the doorway. She took only a few steps before falling flat on her face.
"Princess!" shouted everypony in unison as they all came rushing to her aid.
Just before they reached her she popped back up like a freshly exploding kernel of popcorn . "I'm okay! I'm okay, everypony!"
She picked up her fallen crown and blew off the debris. "Whew! Thaaank goodness we pony's wear our crowns on our heads and not around our necks like a necklace because that could have been bad! This thing is pointy!" She laughed as her head drooped downward in an outward display of how tired she felt.
Kibitz did a double take. "I-I beg your pardon?"
After yawning for several seconds she placed the tiara back on her head, using small nudges to center it properly. "Nevermind, let's eat up so I can get to sleep."
He wasn't quite sure what had happened but continued on as they both took their seats. "Right. So as you can see, I had them prepare you a hearty salad with a tall cold pitcher of prune juice. How delightful!"
Her disposition began to sour at the very mention of that detestable drink.
"Now I know you don't particularly care for my favorite beverage. So as a special treat I had them prepare three different sweet confectionery delights for you. All of which are approved by me to be both good for you and tantalize your taste buds!"
As soon as his head turned she picked a small nut out of her salad and flicked it at him. It was a direct hit to his noggin.
"I dare say!" He took a gander at the nut now on the table before him. Then he glanced toward the ceiling as if that had been it's point of origin. "I think we just might have a pest problem in the castle. Of the nut loving rodent variety, I'd imagine!"
Celestia and the two guards by the door who had witnessed her act all struggled to contain their laughter as Kibitz continued to prattle on about calling in a specialist to have the animal removed from the premises. As her joyous mood began to die down she again felt the heavy pull of sleep on her head and eyes. It irked her how after several nights of trying to sleep she now was in danger of doing just that when now she needed to be awake. Unless she could learn to eat while she slept.
She flashed open her eyes when Kibitz cleared his throat to gather her attention.
"Now, there is a matter I wish to discuss with you, Princess. Since the...incident several days ago, there have been rumors spreading rapidly amongst your subjects about your well being. Namely that you are in poor health."
"Well with the way I'm feeling right now, they're kind of right." Cellie thought to herself before speaking aloud. "Maybe it's because somepony wouldn't just let me stuff my pie hole with cake and then proceed to roll over and die...figuratively."
"Celestia!" Kibitz went into minor shock, quickly he covered the fuzzy ears of the maid who had just served him his prune shake. "Watch your language! You are a Princess after all."
The now blushing servant tapped his shoulder.
"Oh I'm terribly sorry, my dear. I'll let go of your um, ears. Betwixt you and me though, they could use a bit of a trim."
Celestia stomped her hoof to the table. "Kibitz, what a thing to say! Lots of ponies have and adore fuzzy ears!" She then turned her attention to the maid who by now was red enough to be mistaken for a pony wearing war paint. "Your floofy ears are just fine, nevermind him."
Celestia sighed deeply before digging into her salad. "...Luna used to have such fluffy ears when she was little."
Kibitz on the other hoof hummed happily while sucking up his shake through a straw. That pony loved prune products like they were his own offspring. "Oh good heavens!" he started to choke on his beverage upon a revelation. "We seem to have gotten off topic. Now where was I?..."
As evidence by her current behavior and droopy eyelids, the Princess barely paid him any mind. She was so tired, stressed and spaced out that now she was just sitting there repeatedly poking herself in the face with her fork full of salad and dressing just trying to get the darn thing into her mouth!
"Oh yes!" Kibitz stated. "Now I remember. I was going to say that those rumors going around about you would do well to motivate you into getting a good rest! For tomorrow we need to start controlling the situation before it gets out of...g-gets out...of.."
He began to trail off as he slowly took notice of Celestia's predicament. Her tongue was out and her fork enveloped in a magic aura. She would slowly bring it close to her face and would make contact with it all about her outer lips but never quite manage to make it into the mouth.
"Manners Celestia, one mustn't play with their food." he said. Several seconds passed of her repeating the same gesture and now the fork just randomly flew about as she chomped down every once in a while taking in an bite of air.
He took proper action as was needed. "Goodness, would somepony please give the Princess a hoof with her salad?"
Every single pony in the room got wide eyed and raised their hoof immediately to volunteer for the task. Probably for the bragging rights of having fed a Princess and to pocket an interesting tale for later re-telling.
"Nevermind." Kibitz placed his shake down and wiped his mouth daintily with a napkin. "I'll do it myself."
The collective sighs of everypony could be heard as they lowered their hooves in grave disappointment.
"Allow me, your highness." he announced, taking control of the fork and finally planting the sucker in her mouth.
He looked over her plate. "Oh this will never do. This salad has few to prunes in it."
He whisked over the bowl of prunes and dumped it all into her salad, mixing it up and stabbing another bite for her to eat. Now more than half of every bite she'd take was guaranteed to be pure pruney goodness.
The second she took that second helping she knew it was the horrid prunes. She absolutely hated it but like a true hero she powered through, lazily forcing herself to chew it up. Given her dumbfounded look and lack of movement aside from chewing, nopony could have guessed of the mighty internal struggle now taking place.
"These babies will have you feeling right as rain in no time at all!" he shoved in a third mouthful before the last one was even swallowed.
He closed his eyes and started walking about lost in thought. "Why my Grandmother would feed me prunes whenever I'd come to visit..." In was stuffed a fourth batch, puffing out her cheeks.
"In fact, Granny Kibitzerina would even give them to me as gifts." He remained oblivious, stabbing another fork load.
Cellestia turned her head to avoid it but somehow even with his eyes closed he knew where her mouth was and flat out forced another fork full into her.
On he went, recalling his youth. "For my birthday, it was plain prunes."
He stuffed Cellie with more of them. "And at hearth's warming, it was a fresh batch of prune cookies! Oh, they were simply delightful!"
EVEN MORE PRUNES.
"Would you believe I actually hated them at first?"
MOAR PRUNES!!
By this time Celestia was almost choking on the stuff. Somehow she summoned her strength and boldly attempted to grab hold of the fork so she could shove his precious prunes right into his own well-mannered kisser.
As he continued to drone on she flailed her limbs about trying to capture it. Though each and every time she would extend her hoof the silverware would deftly her. Just as well, it did not matter how quickly she moved either, for it would move even faster and zip a delivery straight to her taste-buds. It was just as infuriating as trying to capture a flying insect!
Finally, it stopped moving. Celestia's eye twitched.
What little adrenaline she had pulsed through her as she lunged into the air for it.
It moved, brushing against the tips of her hooves.
Gravity took action as Celestia smacked her face into the table knocking herself unconscious. Down to the floor she fell, leaving behind a trail of drool as she slid off the table. She laid there haphazardly, magnificently sprawled out with prunes and spittle spewing forth from her mouth.
Kibitz placed the fork back onto a now empty plate. Completely satisfied, he opened his eyes again. "There we go, all done!" He gazed down at the mighty Celestia. "Ohoho, now that is most adorable! I guess she just couldn't bear to stay awake any longer, the poor dear."
He gave a hearty yawn, stretching out his hooves. "A nap sounds delightful. How I wish I could do the same. Ah but would you look at the time! I really must be going now, I have some business to attend to elsewhere."
As he trotted out of the room he cocked his head and gave one last command. "Oh and when you take her back to her bed be extra careful not to wake her will you? She needs her beauty rest!"
The door closed behind him as onward he went.
Every guard, maid and cook stood motionless and wide-eyed, still awed by the display they had witnessed.
Then one of them spoke up. "Um...so I don't think they'll dispel those rumors that easily. What with that big ol' lump on her forehead now."
~End
Author's Note
And I know Kibitz is from the comics but I just like the dude in his role. Besides who's to say he wasn't part of a long line of KIbitzs and his family has served her for a long time?
And don't forget to leave a comment, please. I wanna know what you guys think....
Thanks!
