The Great Equestrian Administrative Renaissance (or "Twilight Sparkle realises some rather obvious things which were previously elusive")

by Pippington Britishhooves

Rating: everyone
Tags: Raven Inkwell, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Mayor Mare
Length: 6662

Our Equestrian way of life; isn't it grand? Peace, freedom, and oatcakes and eggs. It seems perfect. But...what if it's not?

Equestria is a wondrous nation of friendship, harmony, and convenient magic. Eras have passed under the watchful eye of the princesses, and the ponies of the land have thrived in the environment provided for them. In fact, they have been almost blessed with such a peaceful and prosperous way of life that the realities and dangers of the world in which they live are almost forgotten to them. Most struggles are resolved within a day, tops, and the easy pace of life has become the norm. For the citizens of the land, this is no bad thing, and in Equestria, it is practically a standard.

Twilight Sparkle, however, is no pony to lay down and let life pass her by. The newest princess of Equestria is curious, erudite, and ambitious, and in her quest to learn more about the nature of reality, she has taken to studying all she can about the world. In pursuit of this noble goal, she spends more time with her once-rival Sunset Shimmer and co in the mirror world, talking and exploring the ways of the alternate world.

And then comes the snag. While the two worlds may share many similarities, humanity has found a way to push forwards with an eagerness and vigour that even the Princess of Friendship finds amazing, and in doing so, confronts the mare with some uncomfortable questions, all of which she seeks to answer for the betterment of ponykind.

Except for "what is beef?" and "where does glue and leather come from in this world?"

Equestria probably wont benefit from discovering those, and Princess Luna would have to defer most of her workload to a certified therapist.

Published 2018-08-18 15:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-08-18 15:40:01 UTC

Rocking the boat or helping us float?

Princess Celestia had, in her thousands of years of reigning over the nation, made mistakes. Most were minor and easily ignored or overlooked by everypony else, while some were mere personal regrets. None of these had interfered with her ability to lead Equestria and to plot the best course for her subjects. She was revered and admired, and any minor fault was dismissed by the sheer weight of what she had accomplished and the finesse with which she did it. Her decisions were unchallenged and her authority unquestioned, and she had proven many times over that she was no tyrant nor incompetent buffoon masquerading as a monarch. Princess Celestia was the mightiest alicorn in the land, and her wisdom was unimpeachable.

"Princess Twilight is here to see you, your majesty," a guard notified her, bowing low as he delivered the news. The majestic mare sat up straighter on her throne and nodded at the newsbearer, and he cantered over to the large wooden doors that barred entrance to the garnished throne room, pulling them inwards with a heave.

Even from the considerable distance, Celestia felt the sight of her former student bring a soft smile to her face. How Twilight had grown since they had first met back when she was still a young filly, capable yet undisciplined, and prone to unpredictable explosions of magic. Now, she was a ruler in her own right, an equal to the main monarch of the land. Even the way she acted had developed, and where she used to be shy and subjected herself to as little social contact as possible, she was now regal and refined. Walking up the red carpet that lined the length of the room, the fourth princess of Equestria carried herself with a power and confidence that had been forged through countless adventures and trials, many of which Celestia had reports, written in the then-unicorn's own writing. Every now and then, she would go back and read over some of them, allowing herself to fall into brief moments of pride and nostalgia.

"Princess Celestia," Twilight Sparkle greeted, bowing low to her ex-mentor. She had a warm smile on her face, one that the large white alicorn matched.

"It's good to see you again," the other princess answered from her throne, her tone warm and welcoming. "What brings you to see me today? You know you can come any time you wish. You don't need to seek an audience with me."

"I do," the purple pony answered, her face scrunching a little as her thoughts caught up with her. "Normally I would. Not that I would just walk in or anything, or arrive without warning, but I would come and see you at another time. Well, I mean..." She shook her head to refocus herself. "The reason I came today and asked to see you is because I have a matter of great importance to discuss." Her face and voice took on a firmer and more serious mood. "I've spent the last week researching a matter that could be, if I'm right, a ticking time bomb that we cannot afford to ignore."

The theme of the conversation caught Celestia's attention, and she snapped into her determined leadership style that had endeared and immortalised her as a god in the eyes of her citizens. "Go on," she encouraged. "I would hear more of this threat."

The purple alicorn levitated open the flaps of her bulging saddlebags, pulling out several long rolls of parchment and holding them above her in her magical aura. Before the bags were sealed up, Celestia spotted several thick books crammed inside, filling up all the space that could be filled. For Twilight to treat books in such a haphazard manner, the matter must've truly been grave.

"As you know, I have a means to travel between our world and the mirror world where Sunset Shimmer lives."

"You do?" the older alicorn interrupted. Twilight looked up at her in a brief moment of confusion, evidently picking through her brain to try and find a memory of her passing on the fairly important information.

"I didn't tell you?" she asked. Celestia shook her head, and Twilight blushed sheepishly.

"I don't recall it coming up in conversation, and you don't write periodically to me any more." She smiled her usual motherly smile.

"Sorry." After clearing her throat, Twilight started again. "As you now know, I have a means - that is, jury-rigged a gateway that emulates the mirror you kept in Canterlot Castle - to travel between our world and the mirror world where Sunset Shimmer lives. During my last visit just over a week ago, I spent some time looking into what similarities, aside from the personas that inhabit each plane of existence, our two worlds share. Most notably, the other world does not naturally possess magic, but rather has traces of supernatural qualities that bleed over from our realm into theirs."

"I don't mean to make a habit of interrupting," Celestia cut in with an apologetic gesture and gentle smile. "But if the only magic that exists in the mirror world is that which is introduced through interaction with our own world, is it wise to possess a fully functioning portal that creates a permanent link bridging our two realities?" An awkward silence settled over the two, not unlike that following the question of why do you want to work for us? in a minimum wage job interview.

"I can see how that might be a problem," Twilight answered at last, coughing into her hoof. "After all, untrammeled and unregulated introduction of new elements into an ecosystem can have a devastating and calamitous effect on the native inhabitants of that ecosystem." The awkward silence thickened uncomfortably, not unlike when the interview entered the tell us a bit about yourself stage.

"Is that the ticking time bomb you came to tell me about?" the monarch pressed tenderly. The other alicorn shook her head stiffly. "My apologies. Continue."

"The absence of magic in the other world has lead to an increase in innovation," the purple mare added. "They have made scientific advances that solve problems which we can resolve through magic or basic technology here, and have even improved upon some inventions that we still rely upon today. For example, they no longer use steam to power their trains, but electricity, and their carts have long been replaced by self-propelled motor vehicles. They can communicate over long distance without using telegram or writing a letter, but by using a portable telephone, or by using a-" She paused to peer at one of the words on one of her numerous scrolls. "-computer." The purple princess began to pace slightly, gesticulating with her hooves whenever she felt a point needed to be enunciated.

"However, their technology isn't the only thing that has progressed in ways we haven't foreseen. As they grew and grew, these humans developed a complicated society, and came up with ideas about how their societies should be run. A lot of their nations don't have monarchs any more!" Both of the princesses in the room shared a shudder, the white mare managing to disguise hers a little more successfully.

"As I am sure you can guess, humans operate in slightly different ways from us on a social level. They don't rely on a single authority to make decisions for them and to lay down absolute regulations that dictate the way of life everyone has to choose. Although it varies from nation to nation, most human civilsations elect their lawmakers through a process of democracy, similar to how some settlements across Equestria elect their mayor or equivalent. Furthermore, they keep a strict separation between the people who write the laws, the people who enforce the laws, and the people who make decisions around the laws." She stopped for a moment to consider a point that just seemed to have come to her. "For some reason only the people who write the laws are elected though. The others just seem to...come along." She shrugged and resumed her exposition.

"What I learned from my time in the mirror world is this; humanity is a socially complex and diverse species, and they have managed to master many aspects of life which we overlook. It's only when I considered this and delved deeper into their world that I realised how much we are lagging behind. For all of our prowess, our world, particularly Equestria, is severely lacking in organised governance." The younger mare turned to look at the alicorn sitting on the throne, and delivered her conclusion. "It is my opinion that we should enact reforms and adopt certain elements of the human systems of administration in order to better the way of life for everypony in Equestria."

Celestia let the silence fall as Twilight finished, mulling the speech around in her mind pensively. After a while, she asked, somewhat hesitantly, "This isn't a declaration of a coup, is it?"

The question caught Twilight off guard, and she blinked several times and tried to work her mouth to no avail before she managed to answer. "No! Of course not!" The older princess blew out a sigh of relief.

"Forgive the question," she said with a hint of wryness to her voice, casting a glance at the stain glass of herself banishing a certain blue alicorn to the moon. "It's just that you mentioned that many human nations operate without monarchs and then concluded that we need to adopt human ideas, and I felt it best to be cautious."

"I-I understand."

"Threats seem to come from the least expected places, so-"

"Y-yes, the caution was warranted."

"Luna, Chrysalis, Tirek, the plundervines-"

"You do seem to be dethroned frequently," the purple mare conceded. She shuffled some of her scrolls around, unfurling one to remind herself of its contents.

"Are there any human nations who operate in the way you described that still retain a monarch?"

"Actually, I believe there are a couple," Twilight spoke up, catching the white alicorn's attention. "There's a small island that's...well four countries....and more than one island....and the island to the side used to be all part of one country and then there were a few wars..."

"But the kingdom is run by a monarch and operates under a single system of governance?"

"Yes," came the reply, followed by a frown and a pensive look. "Actually, not quite. The nation has one government that is elected on behalf of the entire country, but the other parts of the kingdom have their own legal systems, and the monarch actually reigns over several countries of the mirror world, although some people in the kingdom want to abolish-"

"Perhaps not the best example to follow," Celestia suggested, trying not to imagine how Discord had possibly influenced the mirror world in such a way.

"But it has the most prominent legal system worldwide, and it has had a massive effect on the way that other legal systems have developed," Twilight objected. Celestia felt no small amount of concern, but decided to hear out the other mare first.

"Very well," she answered. "How does this legal system work?" From the way Twilight beamed, Celestia gathered that her former student had prepared intently after uninterrupted hours of arduous research, a thought which both warmed her heart and terrified her.

"It's a very clever and very intriguing subject," the bookworm began, speaking in an excited tone that usually indicated that the subject in question would be anything but interesting to anypony who wasn't her. "Let's call it 'System A'. It originally arose from a largely divided conglomeration of tribes who each held their own customs and unwritten rules. When they were unified, probably through peaceful means and the introduction of friendship, the people who were tasked with enforcing peace decided to aggregate the customs of the various peoples to form a single body of regulations to apply a consistent and even-handed resolution to social problems. Law and order became equal and just for all the kingdom, from a system as simple as sticking to customs and tradition."

"I see," the white alicorn intoned. "This does indeed seem to be efficient. This particular human kingdom must put a great amount of pride in the library in which they keep their scroll of traditions." She started to entertain the idea of sending scribes and researches out to the far reaches of the land to gather accurate information on their individual customs and particular habits, wondering how quickly Equestria could adopt 'System A'.

"Scroll of traditions?" Twilight asked, cocking her head. Her eyes flashed hastily to look at her notes, confused as to what she had missed.

"Yes," Celestia answered, smiling at the thought that, even at her position and with so much dedication to note-taking, her former student had forgotten to write down something. It was a sincerely endearing prospect. "Their scroll of individual customs, from which their laws evolved. Such a foundational document would be vital for reference and referral if a society were to adopt the system you have described."

"Oh," the purple mare answered, realising what the enthroned mare meant. A heavy silence followed before she followed up with, "They...they don't actually have one at all."

"What?"

"They don't have any central document to refer to. At least, not pertaining to basic laws."

"Then how did they know what customs and principles they were meant to follow?"

"Written reports of court cases, apparently." Seeming to remember something else, she added, "But this meant that the law was able to be applied flexibly and justly according to each individual situation. If they'd had a single document which constrained their ability to decide independently, they wouldn't have been able to grow as people as they learned, and their society would have remained stagnant."

The princess of the day mulled this over momentarily. "But what stopped each and every adjudicator from acting however they felt, even if that went against the basic principles and customs of the people involved? Or the wider laws of the land?" Twilight's expression brightened at the question.

"Because that in itself was a principle of the system," the purple pony answered happily. "All judges were bound by the previous decisions of judges on the same subject matter, which is how consistent laws emerged." Despite the pleased, beaming smile the princess of friendship was exuding, Celestia quirked an eyebrow, painfully aware of one glaring flaw.

"Then how did the law remain flexible with the ability to be adapted as each situation required, preventing the society from becoming stagnant as it learned and developped?"

Silence fell once more, with Twilight visibly working her mouth and brain to try and reach an answer that didn't require mental somersaults. After a solid thirty seconds of trying and failing, she offered a sheepish, apologetic smile. The white princess nodded in understanding.

"You said that they had no central document for their 'basic laws'," she tried. "Do you know if they have any important documents for other parts of their society?"

"They do have a charter of basic rights, which was brought into effect after some...revolutions..." Looking progressively more uncomfortable, Twilight glanced at her teacher and then back down at her notes. "How about we move on to System B?" At the affirming nod, the smaller alicorn fluffled her wings and looked further down her scroll. A small cough later, she began anew.

"System B is the practice adopted by the neighbours of System A, and has become widespread due to land-access between the nations which share it. A founding central document of rights and obligations forms the basis of the law of the land, with all other legislation being subordinate to the fundamental policies laid out by the central document. If any subsequent law infringes upon the rights granted in the original document, then the subordinate law is struck down." She smiled at the thought of that, as did Celestia. The concept sounded so much more civil and proper, and what the white mare realised she should have hoped for when Twilight had approached to begin with.

"That sounds ideal," the princess of the sun admitted. The purple alicorn nodded excitedly.

"From the nations I've researched, it's shown to be effective," the academic boasted. "And the best part is that it was established by a monarch! The kingdom attributed with the creation of System B was headed by a famous historical figure who the humans call His Imperial and Royal Majesty...Bone Apart?" Her eye twitched at the name, and it crossed both princess' minds simultaneously that as literal as their culture was with naming conventions, human culture could afford to take some liberties in the interest of diplomatic easing.

"This...King Bone-Apart," Celestia inquired, hoping that the name didn't match the personality. "Was he a wise and fair ruler?"

"He was regarded as someone who advanced his nation's society," the younger pony assured, though who she was trying to assure was anypony's guess. "He was one of the first to set out basic rights for his people, and to establish a civil code to rectify the wrongs that any subject could possibly encounter." She paused as she came across a tidbit of information of her scroll. "Oh." She suddenly seemed a little more uncomfortable. "Apparently, it was Emperor Bone Apart. His nation was an empire, not a kingdom."

Not to fret, Celestia reasoned to herself. The Crystal Empire exists within Equestria, there's no reason to assume that there cannot be a peaceful empire within-

"He formed his empire after launching a coup d'etat," Twilight continued, oblivious to her trusted ruler's exponentially darkening expression of dread. "Apparently the nation had been a republic before he reformed it into an imperial autocracy with himself as its military dictator, but the republic itself was tumultuous and anarchic following a previous revolution ten years earlier which had seen an overthrowing of the monarchy and the aristocracy." Her eyes widened. "Oh, it had been a kingdom. Oh, my bad." She gave Celestia a wry, apologetic smile. The white mare just nodded with a strained smile of her own.

"What is the state of this empire now?"

"I believe it has returned to being a republic." A ruffling later, the purple egghead nodded in confirmation. "The Fifth Republic."

"Fifth? As in there were four republics in between the original coup...and now?" Before Twilight could answer, the ruler dared to ask, "Over what span of time did this happen?"

"About two hundred years?"

"And as a kingdom the nation lasted...?"

"About eight hundred years."

"I don't believe that this System B is perhaps the most stable legal system to adopt for our purposes."

Twilight could only agree, and the silence that fell between the two now-perturbed princesses lasted long enough for them to wonder if there was any possibility of avoiding a revolution or uprising. Celestia was considering the best way to close all portals to the mirror world and its apparently dystopian tendencies when the other mare spoke up.

"Princess Celestia," Twilight began, her tone disappointed and quiet, something which both made the senior princess sad and have to resist the urge to deploy every available guard to search for suspicion in her castle; that tone of voice was almost invariably linked to a public emergency, she'd noted over the years, including problems Twilight instigated herself. "When the mirror world went through these events, they were new to everything, struggling from the ground to pull together various peoples and ideas. They were young and naive, and they didn't have anyone to guide them. We aren't in that situation; we have their failings to guide us, and we've already overcome conflicts and challenges with other kingdoms and species, and within Equestria itself. When Princess Luna returned after a thousand years, all the ponies of Equestria put aside their fears and came to love her. It took Luna longer to forgive herself than it took everypony else to see past her mistakes." That thought gave Celestia pause, and Twilight noticed. The purple princess' stance became more confident.

"That was one of the biggest changes to Equestrian society in the history of our world," the younger alicorn continued, her voice firmer and her tone more assured. "Or when the Crystal Empire reappeared, and the crystal ponies accepted Cadence as their ruler after years under Sombra. They overcame that, and we welcomed a new province and population to our state. Together, we overcame that. Perhaps most importantly, the founding of Equestria itself, when the three tribes banded together to face the worst of what our world could throw at them, when they overcame their differences, put aside the past and forged a better future.

"All of the problems we had to endure, and all of the solutions we came to, were because we could persist and realise the benefits of cooperating- the revitalisation of Griffonstone, the help we provided the Yaks, all of the struggle we went through to make things better. We accomplished so much, and we did that because our society is built on friendship and progress. We improve by learning from and supporting each other, even when it seems like it'll be tough. We need to have faith in ponies to be able to adapt if we're going to live up to our founding virtues, because we aren't like the mirror world, but we can learn from them. That's what friendship stands for." She puffed out her chest proudly. "Equestria will be able to adapt to these changes without a revolution, and we'll have implemented beneficial changes without anypony needing to express their distaste through violence. Isn't that our way?"

"It is," Celestia agreed. "Why must we implement these reforms? Is there strife in Equestria that necessitates such a state of action?"

"Irrationality and injustice," Twilight answered in affirmation. "When Flim and Flam first visited Ponyville, they attempted to undermine the Apple family business, and when that failed, they tried to seize Sweet Apple Acres. That isn't fair competition, that's running a family out of their home and stealing their land. I know that the Apple family was rather brash in accepting their challenge rather than declining, but it's hard to believe that there's no course of action for disrupting a communal cider sale, attempting to undermine a family business, and then causing property damage."

"Could the Apples have not turned the twins away?" the white mare inquired. Her purple counterpart nodded.

"They should have. There was no way that Flim and Flam could have supplied all their cider without the apples from Sweet Apple Acres or even remained on the land, so their business plan was built on the start from usury or exploiting the gullible. Imagine thinking that demanding a majority of the profits when your business partner is the one providing the materials necessary to make the sales a possibility is a fair or reasonable thing!" She tutted angrily, before remembering that publishers did exactly that in the mirror world. Twilight moved on before she accidentally recounted that information out loud.

"The brothers broke the fence around Sweet Apple Acres on multiple occasions, and didn't pay a cent towards its repair. Granny Smith had to fix it by herself, and on one of the busiest days of the year. Through the portal, almost every society has a means of restitution for those who have had property damaged by another person, and means to have trespassers removed from their land. This should be available to us too."

"It seems that the Apples are owed a significant amount from the two salesponies," Celestia observed.

"That can't be said enough," Twilight answered with a scowl. "Their business is a sham, but we have no system in place to penalise ponies for fraud. When they returned to Ponyville, they tried to peddle a cure-all tonic, and hired a pony to pretend to be cured of his ailments to sell it to the audience. Half of Ponyville bought it, and Granny Smith nearly grievously injured herself because she falsely believed she had been given back the health she had at youth! It was only because Applejack found the courage to overcome their manipulation that their lies were revealed, and that more ponies weren't seriously hurt. I believe they're in Las Pegasus, trying to sell yet more gimmicks to ponies who can be fooled and stripped of their bits."

"That is indeed troubling," the princess of the sun agreed, feeling a twinge of shame in managing to overlook this fairly significant affront to decency within her kingdom. The responsibility fell on her to maintain peace and justice, no matter how big or small. "Do we not have rules and trials in place?"

"They're woefully inefficient," the purple alicorn informed her. "I had to preside over a tribunal at the Rainbow Fall Traders Exchange, and I had to apply the letter of the law. While we have laws surrounding contracts, they're simplistic and can lead to some horrific outcomes."

"I don't believe that slavery was the intention of the law," the enthroned mare tittered. "We have outlawed slavery for millennia, after all. I was surprised that you were willing to allow your friend to be purchased."

"It wasn't slavery," Twilight responded, blushing a bright red that decorated her cheeks adorably. "It was technically indentured servitude, since it had all been formally agreed by all the parties involved." Shaking off her embarrassment, she recovered her calmness. "It illustrates my point. Our law isn't equipped to prevent these sorts of things, and we need to ensure that this never happens. Even the procedure is outdated and ill-considered. When Rainbow Dash was accused of sabotaging the Wonderbolt's show with absolutely no evidence whatsoever, the team insisted that she prove her innocence or else suffer the consequences. There is no logic or justice in that! The two mirror world systems I provided as examples have requirements that any person who is accused of committing wrongdoing must be tried fairly before a recognised authority and bear the consequences only if they are found to be guilty. Our system fails to guarantee that, nevermind provide protection of our citizen's wellbeing or any formal description of what behaviours are and are not allowed."

Celestia pondered the situation as Twilight spoke. Something clearly needed to be done, and yet it wasn't hard to see that they didn't have the clearest path laid out before them, and from experience, diving headfirst into action without any plan oftentimes lead to disaster. There needed to be a test, some sort of precautionary examination of the consquences under controlled conditions. Luckily, the princess of the sun knew the perfect scientist for the job.

"These are concerns that the crown should address," the white alicorn spoke up. Twilight looked encouraged, and Celestia continued her conclusion. "In order to ensure that we achieve what is best for the realm, I believe it would be prudent to start small, to begin implementing changes gradually. That way, we can adjust our approach as we observe its effects, and perfect the system before it's enforced in its flawed state upon everypony."

"An experiment in a controlled environment," the purple pony prompted, her tone brimming with excitement. Celestia found herself smiling at the childlike glee the young princess exhibited, like she had all those years ago as a filly during science classes. Even if it was now restrained behind a regal discipline, it was still present, and still endearing.

"I can't think of anypony better suited for this task than you, Princess Twilight."

"Me?" The surprised question held behind it the burgeoning waves of exuberance that would spill over as soon as she was alone, the white mare knew. "Why me?"

"You are one of the most amazing and talented ponies I know, Twilight," the elder princess began, evoking a blush from her younger counterpart. Gotcha, she thought privately, finding it adorable that even now, the youthful alicorn was so humble and modest that a simple compliment could cause her to glow. "You are a researcher, a leader, a teacher, a ruler, and a dedicated and thorough academic. Beyond that, you've already researched the customs and laws from which you wish to take inspiration, and you have a welcoming, open town which trusts you for the qualities I have already outlined. Can you think of anypony in a better position to conduct this experiment?" When Twilight shook her head, the mare smiled and nodded once.

"You want me to try this in Ponyville?"

"As a princess, you are a ruler, and you have the authority. I have the utmost faith in you."

Twilight stood up straighter, smiled brightly, and nodded with confidence. "I won't let you down." She bowed, remembered that she had the same social status as the white mare, and awkwardly stood back up, before turning and trotting down the length of the throne room towards the door. Celestia watched her exit with a contented smile, before turning to her scribe, standing quietly on the platform several feet from the throne.

"Raven, I'd like to be notified immediately as and when any scrolls arrive from Ponyville, from Princess Twilight, Spike the dragon, or any of the bearers of the Elements of Harmony."

"You're expecting trouble, your highness?" the bespectacled mare asked, blinking in surprise and a modicum of concern.

"Not from Twilight," the enthroned mare spoke. "She's competent and caring, and she will take care of any issues which arise."

"Then who? Or what?"

"I'm not sure."

"Princess, I don't understand."

"Do you remember what Twilight said, three thousand three hundred and eleven words ago, give or take?"

Raven checked the parchment next to her, stopping the quill mid-air which was writing down the minutes of the meeting. "The caution was warranted?" Celestia nodded.

"Caution is always warranted," the alicorn told the brunette mare. "If not for the benefit of ourselves, then for the benefit of others."

The mayor of Ponyville let out a sigh as the final document was signed, and returned the quill to its well. The day had started with no fewer than five stacks of parchment, all of which had to be read through and responded to. Luckily, a lot of the documents had been something for her to sign, and nothing more - treasury reports, budgetary projections, requests for school funding, and so on. It made her job a little easier, but it was repetitive, and it still took a significant proportion of her day.

For the week, she was finished, however. It was 3:30pm on a Friday, and all the paperwork that she had to have filled out and sent off had just been completed. Nothing else was to be done, except for her pre-arranged appointments over the weekend, which were spread out thinly. The idea of an early finish had motivated her to get the week's work done a few hours early, it seemed, and now she was at liberty to go home and enjoy a book, or perhaps visit that comedy show she'd been recommended.

Still mulling over her options, the mayor piled her finished, signed papers in one pile and stood up from her chair. There was time for dinner before she made a decision about what to do with her evening. Maybe she could ask Roseluck if she wanted to catch up, as she'd been meaning to do for a while. Well, there was all the time in the world now, with her newly freed schedule. She smiled and stepped towards the door.

Which promptly burst open, revealing a beaming Twilight Sparkle.

"Mayor Mare, I'm glad I caught you!" the purple princess greeted enthusiastically, trotting into her office along with a thickly layered ream of parchment. The beige earth pony cringed internally, knowing that such happy enthusiasm coming from the purple alicorn usually meant the sort of exciting adventure that she herself wasn't prepared for.

"Princess Twilight," she replied, forcing a smile onto her face. "How great to see you." Please no disasters, please. "How can I help you? You were looking for me?"

"I need your help for something," she explained, dumping the ream onto the mayor's recently vacated desk. The earth pony suppressed her whimper. "Something big."

Please Celestia, please no. Spare me this cruel fate.

"You wouldn't believe how much of a doozie this project is going to be."

Is this because I didn't declare that Hearth's Warming bonus I received fifteen years ago? I repent, I repent!

"I've mapped out the preliminary ideas on the train on the way here, but it obviously isn't enough." She pointed with a hoof to the parchment that she'd brought with her, now resting on the mayor's desk. "I need your expertise on something this specialist. Besides, many hooves makes for short work!"

"Did you say, 'on the train'?" the mayor asked, desperately sobbing her confession to some robed figure inside her mind. "You took the train from Canterlot, rather than just flying here?"

"I needed the time to get started on mapping all the pieces together," the purple mare explained, her hooves tapping away with excited energy. That tone, it was that tone, the one with the barely constrained gushing and fawning, the one that Twilight always used when she was excited for some ambitious, boring, and utterly tedious project. "Even if I have all the ideas down, I can't implement them until I know more about each citizen of Ponyville."

"Know more about them?" the beige mare asked. "Every citizen? But you're the princess of friendship, and you've lived here for years. You must know as much as you need to know for...for...what exactly are you doing?" Why did you ask, you old fool? Why did you ask?

"I know about their personalities," Twilight agreed, stepping closer to the cabinets. Why is she heading towards the filing cabinets? Why is she excited about old paperwork? "I know them as ponies, but I don't know them as citizens, and if we're to implement this new system, then I need to understand more about how the citizens function in their private lives."

Why did that sound so creepy? Why does it make me think about a novel in which some older, perhaps physically larger, male sibling spies on his millions of younger brethren?

"Th-that sounds a bit far beyond my level of expertise," the mayor chuckled nervously, casting glances at the door. "I wish you luck in this endeavour, but-"

"Don't be so humble," the purple mare insisted in an obliviously friendly tone, smiling back at the middle aged public servant. "We'll have to form a proper census of the population of Ponyville, compare which parts of which systems from the list I have-" She pointed a hoof at the ream on the desk. "-would work best from the data we collate, see if we can form a comprehensive system which would work in light of this new data, and then try to formulate a framework which would establish the axioms of our new and completed system!" She gasped and her eyes lit up. "It'll take all night, and it'll be like a sleepover!"

Why does it always rain on me? Is it because I lied when I was seventeen?

"Th-that sounds...uh..." The mayor couldn't fathom a response, and had to wipe the sweat from her brow. "I-I need to write a letter."

The knock awoke Celestia immediately, and she swung herself from bed, used her magic to smooth out her coat, and walked over to her bedchamber's door. When she opened it, she found Raven looking up at her.

"I'm sorry to disturb you," the unicorn murmured, bowing her head. "But you did ask me to let you know immediately if there were any scrolls from Ponyville." She presented a roll of parchment for the princess, who took it and unfurled it with her aura. The white mare's eyes scanned the contents of the page.

Dear Princess Celestia,

I'm not sure if Twilight Sparkle has been brainwashed, impersonated, or is simply out of control, but she is trying to single-handedly reform the entirety of the Ponyville's administration and is asking that I provide intimate details of the townsponies. I'm unsure if this is a ruse by the Changelings to replace the entire town, or by some other foreign entity for some grand and dastardly plot that I can't begin to fathom, but it certainly feels like I've been imprisoned in the town hall, and I feel that you need to know.

The claim that this Twilight is making is that you authorised her to use Ponyville as a "controlled environment" for an experiment of some sort, and that the experiment involves her accessing the financial and personal details of everypony in town. When I explained to her that this was undoutedly within her powers but rather excessive for an experiment, she responded that "Pinkie Pie has done it for years." I am still uncertain what to make of that statement.

If, of course, this is genuinely Princess Twilight, and you genuinely authorised this, I would like to take this moment to reassert my allegiance to Equestria and the crown, and all that it stands for. If not, however, I would like to take this moment to request a full contingent of EUP Guard to be deployed to Ponyville's town hall as soon as they can be mustered.

Yours respectfully,

Mayor Mare

The alicorn lowered the scroll and sighed.

"Should I have your chariot prepared, your highness?" Raven inquired, guessing from the sigh that something was wrong.

"Not this time," Celestia replied, smiling at the aide. "I'll let everypony else sleep soundly tonight."

"Should I prepare a nightcap for your return?" Raven followed up as the white mare headed over to the balcony doors and opened them up. The ruler paused for a moment, considering the offer.

"Crystal Whiskey, single malt, on the rocks. See if any of the thousand-year old barrels are left."

"Of course, your highness."

Celestia pursed her lips as the door closed behind her, and stood for a moment in the gentle breeze of the summer night. "There was a time when all that anypony wanted was a central authority to decide everything," she lamented to herself, before flaring out her wings and leaping out over the sleeping city.

Author's Note

This story came about as the result of several separate thoughts that came to mind at different times. The first was my exasperation to the way that events unfurled and that characters responded to them, such as the Flim Flam Brothers' disregard for basically everyone and the fact that there seem to be no official recourse, or the way that Rainbow Dash was threatened with expulsion from the Wonderbolts if she couldn't prove her innocence for a crime(?) of which she hadn't been proven guilty in the first place. The second was my curiosity over what sort of system Equestria had. Obviously, it's not fun in a fantasy world to experience the bureaucracy and tedious social processes that make up a society, but it does leave a lot to the imagination, and so I kept on wondering. The third was a look at some of the things we do as a society in the real world, and how they would be perceived by an alien or an outsider who had no investment in our way of life. All of these elements came together, and I found myself writing about how the real world would be perceived by Twilight if a little digging was done. I came to the conclusion that she'd try and learn from us, and that even Equestria had flaws that could be vastly improved. It was fun to get it all down and out there.

My law degree is finally counting for something, it seems. I never figured it'd be writing about pastel coloured cartoon ponies. Weird how life works out.