Serious Sam - My Little Encounter

by JesterOfDestiny

Rating: mature
Tags: Princess Luna, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Profanity, Adventure, Violence, Crossover, Timberwolves, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6
Length: 12815

The ponies of Equestria have discovered an ancient artifact, called the Time-Lock. Then, out of nowhere, an army of alien monsters attacked them. Their only hope lies in a mysterious warrior, who came from the Time-Lock.

Not long after the coronation of Princess Twilight Sparkle

Equestria makes a startling discovery

Deep in the Everfree Forest, traces of an ancient,

but technologically advanced civillization is found,

along with a mysterious artifact called the Time-Lock.

The ponies manage to activate the machine,

but they fail to comprehend its workings.

After many years of trying, Equestria

is attacked by countless deadly monsters,

spawned from another dimension.

In the battles that follow,

Equestria fights valiantly,

but nothing can stop the

monsters from coming.

Their forces are steadily defeated

the ponies are forced to flee

into their major settlements

But, no matter how bravely

the pony armies defend,

they are defeated,

time and again.

Equestria stares into

the face of its own annihilation.

But one faithful day

the Time-Lock opens

And Equestria’s last hope emerges….

Published 2017-06-24 03:20:06 UTC
Last updated 2017-07-24 18:06:48 UTC

Level 1 - Ponyville

The skies have darkened. The wind was blowing, rain has started to fall. Clouds were swirling above the Time-Lock, spewing lightnings all over. Twilight and Starlight have already arrived to witness the Time-Lock’s opening.

“What’s going on? What did you do?” Twilight asked.

“Nothing!” Starlight answered. “It just happened by itself!”

A loud whirring noise began to emanate from the Time-Lock, as Spike, Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Rarity arrived. Its four towers sparkled with electricity and the machine’s floor lighted up. Forks of lightning have struck right in the middle and a bright blue light emerged. Shortly, the light flashed up, then faded. The Time-Lock powered down and finally, they could see a humanoid figure in its middle, doing a three-point pose. The ponies looked upon the figure in bewilderment, as it got up, raised its head and looked back at them.

“Well, that’s new.” It returned the ponies’ bewilderment. It spoke with a gravelly voice and wore a simple white t-shirt and a pair of jeans. On his t-shirt, there was a grinning bomb.

“You’re not here to hurt us, are you?” Twilight approached the figure slowly.

“I assume you’re the civilization in need of a saviour.” Said the figure.

“I... I don’t know.” Replied Twilight with confusion. “Are we?”

“Are you being attacked by armies of horrible monsters?”

“Well, yes...”

“Then you are!” The figure proclaimed, then approached Twilight. “The name’s Sam. Sam “Serious” Stone.” the figure introduced himself and reached out to Twilight to shake hands.

After a short confused pause, Twilight also introduced herself. “Twilight Sparkle, the princess of friendship”

Sam snorted, trying to hold back laughter after hearing the string of words that came out of Twilight’s mouth. Then he looked at the purple hoof he was holding. The situation didn't become any less bizarre to him.

“And I assume these are your horse friends.” He looked at the other ponies.

“Alright,” Rainbow broke the awkward conversation, “what’s going on?”

“The big brains at home told me" Sam explained "that Mental was going to attack Earth again in the future, so they sent me roughly where the attack will begin.”

“I’m afraid you’re already late.” Said Applejack. “The attack has already started and we’re losing.”

“Not if I have anything to do about that!” Sam said confidently.

“What exactly are you going to do?” Rarity asked the self-proclaimed saviour.

“Exactly what I always do.” Sam answered. “Say, have you got any weapons? The old colt and knife won’t take me far.” He pulled out the only weapons he had.

“Sure, but I don’t think they’re going to work for you.” Said Rainbow.

They went to the armoury. It was inside the Town Hall, because there was no time to set up a proper armoury. Twilight escorted Sam in, while the others took their places. There weren’t many weapons in the armoury and they were all clearly designed for ponies. Sam picked one up.

“Now, how am I supposed to use this?” He asked, as he observed the strange object.

“Yeah, these are all designed for ponies.” Twilight replied. “They were also thrown together at the start of the attacks.”

Sam dropped the weapon. “Eh, doesn’t matter. I tend to just find my guns laying around.”

“What?” Twilight asked for clarification.

Sam couldn’t answer, because he spotted something for his liking. “Ooh, what’s this I see?”

“What is...” Twilight then saw what Sam was looking at, “...oh no, not that.” She groaned. Sam picked up the object of his excitement. It was a long golden sceptre with Twilight’s head on its end. “Please not that, it’s so embarrassing, I don’t even know how it got there.”

Sam weighed the sceptre with his hands and took a few light swings with it. “This should do nicely.”

“Really? That thing?” Twilight objected. “Are you even sure that’s going to work?”

“The new wave is coming!” Rainbow shouted through the door.

“We’re about to find out.” Sam said confidently and walked out.

The citizens of Ponyville have already lined up. Sam stepped among them and stopped next to Starlight, who was in the front. The whole town was staring at the trees, covering behind their shields, their pony spears trembling in their hooves. Sinister silence lingered upon them, followed by sudden cacophonous roaring, as the monsters burst through the trees.

“I hope you are as good as you say you are.” Starlight said to Sam.

“You bet your ass I am!” He replied and firmly grabbed onto Twilight’s sceptre. He ran up to a one-eyed monster and smashed its head in with the golden sceptre. Then he took another swing and bashed a headless zombie in the side. Starlight gazed upon the new guy’s ferocity, as he smashed the monsters up. They themselves began to avert their attention from the ponies, when Sam ripped out a gnaar’s eye and thrown it at them. They ran at Sam and attempted to crush him with their massive fists, but he smashed them up with ease, staining the golden sceptre with the splashing pieces of flesh.

The fight went on. Starlight could dish out some punishment herself, the lasers were bursting from her horn. But she was quickly overwhelmed when the skeletons started their charge. One jumped at Starlight, but Sam jumped in and ripped its head off. He took out some of the surrounding headless zombies with his colt, then lobbed the skull at an approaching one-eyed monster, embedding it inside its eye by the horns. Then the ponies began to be thrown all over, as a bull was charging through right in the middle of town.

“Hey you!” Sam taunted the bull. “Why don’t you stop the bull-run and start the bull-fight?!”

The bull charged at him, but Sam stepped aside at the right time and slashed the bull with his knife. The bull ran past him, then charged again. Sam sidestepped again and slashed at the bull again. It ran past, bleeding profusely and charged again stubbornly. Sam kept his ground and stabbed the bull in the skull, stopping it right in its tracks.

The dust settled as the last monsters were picked off. The ponies picked themselves up, surprised at the lack of damage done to their town. Starlight ran up to Sam.

“Wow! That was amazing!” She complimented Him.

“Told you I’m good at this.” He replied.

Moments later Twilight, Rarity and Pinkie Pie showed up.

“Did we win?” Pinkie asked, surprised at the lack of monsters currently alive in town.

“Apparently so.” Twilight answered. “All thanks to Sam.”

“Don’t celebrate just yet.” Said Rarity. “Wasn’t there a horde of suicide bombers approaching?

“There is.” Rainbow flew in. “They’re going to be here any moment now.”

“Suicide bombers you say?” Said Sam, as he picked up a second colt he found on the ground. “It seems all of my old friends are going to be here.”

“You know these things?” Asked Rainbow Dash.

“Sure, Mental and I are old pals! We used to do this all the time, back in the old days.”

“Then you probably understand,” Rainbow continued “that those suicide bombers are, like, our worst nightmare.”

“Nah, they’re not so bad. They’re all talk, but no heads. You just go back to your tea, while I deal with them.”

“What? You’re kidding?” Rainbow was astonished at Sam’s reckless statement.

“Have you seen him?” Said Starlight. “He annihilated these guys!”

Twilight walked up to Sam. “Sam, are you sure you can handle this alone.”

The sound of hellish screaming began to emanate from between the trees.

“I always do.” Sam answered and raised up both of his colts. “Stay back, while I have some target practice.” He walked towards the trees and awaited the suicide attack.

For half a minute, only the screaming could be heard, as it got louder and louder. Then they emerged from the forest, shirtless, headless, with two bombs raised and screaming endlessly. Sam extended his arms and began shooting down the approaching screamers. One by one, they all exploded into red mist. The explosions grew as the horde bunched up, but they were still coming in seemingly endless waves of screaming. Sam started slowly backing up, as they got closer and closer. He picked them down with ease, only stopping to reload. The ground was covered in viscera and body-parts, but the screaming didn’t stop. They got closer and closer to Sam and he was backing up faster and faster.

They stopped pouring from the trees, their numbers were decreasing and the screaming began to quiet down. Sam was taking out the last few of them. They were getting uncomfortably close to him, but these were thankfully the last few of them.

And Sam took out the last one, which splashed its entrails all over him. He stopped for a second, then screamed back at the remains of the zombie horde.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!” He did an impression of them, then turned around. “After all these years, they still use the same catchphrase.”

The ponies emerged from their hiding places and saw, that the wave of monsters has ended. The attack was averted and Ponyville was saved. Once they all realized they were alive, the crowd cheered Sam on. There was hope after all.

“That was awesome!” Rainbow Dash shouted.

“Told you he’s good!” Starlight remarked.

“Sam,” Twilight ran up to him “thank goodness you were here. We wouldn’t have been able to deal with them.”

“That’s because you can’t blow things up with friendship.” Sam Replied.

“Actually...” Twilight tried to explain, but she was interrupted.

“Twilight!” it was Fluttershy. She was riding on top of her bear, cradling Angel Bunny. “They took him! They took Discord!”

“What?!” Exclaimed Twilight. “How?”

“There were too many of them, we couldn’t handle them! Then they trapped Discord with their magic beams!” Fluttershy burst into tears. “I tried to stop them, but they destroyed everything!”

“Oh no! And Discord was one of our major defences!” Twilight’s previous enthusiasm faded.

“They took him to some ruins in the forest,” Sam stepped in “I'm gonna go through the path by the farm, because they’re still under attack.”

“Wait, how do you know that?” Twilight asked.

“The computer inside my head told me.”

Twilight just looked at him funny.

"What don't you have computers inside your heads too?"

"N-no..."

“What lame-ass future is this?” He proclaimed, then run towards Sweet Apple Acres. The ponies ran after him.

Level 2 - The Everfree Forest

The farm was completely overrun when Sam, Twilight, Rainbow and Starlight arrived. Harpies were harassing the Apple family, who couldn’t fight back with their limited resources. Throwing apples at monsters only worked with careful aiming. Rainbow flew in immediately to deal with the harpies, while Starlight took care of the headless zombies. Of course Sam didn’t stand idly either. He found a shotgun resting against a barrel. He joined the fight by blasting a headless zombie into pieces.

“Thank Celestia you came!” blurted out Applejack “I thought we were goners for a moment there.”

“Yeah, let’s make these monsters goners!” Rainbow shouted enthusiastically while uppercutting a harpy.

The family went back to throwing apples at the monsters. Sam, after blasting a gnaar’s head open, saw that and it perplexed him.

“Wait, what are you doing?” He blurted out “Are you trying to fight them with apples?”

“What exactly do you want us to do?” Asked Applebloom, while loading a bucket of apples into a big improvised slingshot.

“This!” Sam then picked up a hammer from the ground and thrown it right into a gnaar’s eye, which broke apart in a large gooey splash. The ponies winced at the sight.

“Or maybe” Sam continued, “just kick them in the face. I hear horses can kick pretty nicely.”

“Well, I don’t know about you” Granny Smith chipped in, “but I don’t wanna get close to those things!”

“In that case,” Rainbow shouted from above, “I could use some help up here!”

They saw another flock of harpies coming in. This time however, they were carrying kamikazes.

“Incoming!” Rainbow warned the others.

Sam looked up and knew what was going to happen. He looked around and got an idea.

“Hey, you unicorn gals!” He pointed at Starlight and Twilight. “Take care of the falling kamikazes! You, rainbow horse! Take care of the harpies.” He then stepped up to Big Mac. “What do you say big fella. Do you think you can carry a valiant knight into battle?"

Big Mac looked surprised for a second, but then he gave a cheeky grin. “Eeyup.” He said.

The others were holding the enemy back nicely. Starlight shot down the falling suicide bombers and Rainbow smacked up the harpies. Twilight was just standing, looking around, like she was afraid. Starlight noticed that and couldn’t help but comment.

“Aren’t you gonna help us?” She asked.

“No, I think you’re doing fine without me.”

“Come on Twilight, your power could really come in handy right now.”

“Oh no, no, no. How would it look like for the princess of friendship to fight in a battle?”

Starlight paused for a moment, to give Twilight a disappointed look. “Seriously?”

Twilight just smiled nervously. Then she saw a small flock of harpies fly in from behind the barn. They sneaked in while Rainbow was busy beating their brethren and managed to get dangerously close to the ponies. And they were carrying kamikazes.

“Look out!” Twilight shouted, as the harpies dropped their load simultaneously. There was no time, Twilight blasted one of the falling kamikazes with a laser, which then promptly exploded. And because they were all really close together, it caused a chain reaction and the entire flock exploded. Blood, body parts, feathers and dead harpies showered down onto the battlefield.

“Nice shot!” Starlight complimented Twilight, but Twilight wasn’t as impressed. She just had her first kill. And that thought haunted her.

But there was no time to waste mourning. The monsters were still coming, though their numbers were dwindling. Suddenly, Sam riding on Big Mac’s back crashed out from inside the barn.

“Come on my trusty steed!” Sam shouted. “The battlefield is calling us!”

“Eeyup!” Big Mac replied and began running towards the incoming monsters. He trampled many of them, while Sam was bashing along with Twilight’s sceptre. Then he turned around and picked off some of the survivors with his shotgun. A bull jumped out in front and charged at them. Big Mac charged back at it. Sam saw what was happening and grabbed a pitchfork from a conveniently placed pile of hay. He let out a loud drawn out yeehaw, and with the right timing, he stabbed the bull with the pitchfork, killing it instantly.

That was the last one of them. Everyone gathered in front of the barn. Rainbow panting from kicking so many harpies in the face, Applebloom unloading a wooden board with nails in it, from the slingshot, Starlight blowing the smoke off her horn and Sam and Big Mac fist-hoof bumping. Only Twilight was distraught.

“Alright, that was a lot of fun,” said Sam, “but I gotta go. I’ve got a forest to wage through.”

“Wait,” Applejack interjected, “are you going to go alone?”

“Yeah, I always do.”

“I reckon somebody should go along with you.”

“Nah, you should stay here. Somebody’s gotta take care of further attacks.”

“He’s right,” Starlight stepped in, “we can’t just leave Ponyville like this.”

“Right,” Sam agreed, “I’m just gonna...”

“But I think Twilight should go with him.” Starlight continued.

“What?” Twilight yelped.

“We can’t leave Sam to himself either. He might get lost in the forest.”

“But I can’t just go into the middle of the battlefield!”

Starlight smirked. “You’ll be fine. Besides, Fluttershy said they captured Discord with some magical beams. I think your help will be needed.”

Twilight sighed. “Fine.” She said and teleported next to Sam, who has already stepped into the forest. “You’ll need somebody to break the magical chains on Discord. So I’ll just tag along.”

“Fine with me,” Sam replied, “but I’m not gonna comb innards out of your hair.”

They walked silently between the trees. They haven’t encountered any monsters for a while, so they had time to talk. They didn’t really take advantage of that, though. Sam was busy looking between the trees, preparing for an ambush and Twilight was staring in front of her hooves, thinking back to the fight at the farm. Sam looked at her for a moment and saw her distraught face.

“You know,” he said, “you really don’t need to be here. I can take care of it myself.”

“No, no,” she said, “you’ll need someone to break Discord out of the spell.”

“Fair enough.”

“I’ll take care of Discord, you take care of the monsters.”

“Not a very fair way to cooperate. If you’re here, you might as well use your forehead-gun.”

“No, I don’t want to take anymore lives.”

Sam laughed. “It’s not like you have a choice.”

“But I’m the princess of friendship! The princess of friendship can’t just go around killing things. That wouldn’t be very friendly, now would it?”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Mental isn’t very friendly either. He could use some friendship, right in-between his eyes.”

“But, isn’t there another way?”

Sam laughed again. “No. Some people are just assholes by nature. They’re not going to bend to the power of friendship.”

“I used to think that too, but then I made so many unlikely friends. Discord is a perfect example! He used to be a very nasty being. But he changed.”

“Look, I’m sure that’s true, but you got to remember. We are dealing with savage monsters, cybernetic mutants, cloned alien beasts, brainwashed mercenaries, magical monstrosities, the undead and whatever the hell Mental is.”

“But...

“I’m sure some people can be persuaded. But sometimes, when somebody wants mayhem, you just gotta bring it to them... And shove it right up their ass!” Sam explained and made an upwards motion with his fist.

Twilight fell silent.

“Ooh, would you look at that.” Sam broke the serious atmosphere, as he spotted a chainsaw in a small clearing. “What brings you here, my love?”

Twilight looked at him funny for a second, but then she saw green eyes light up in the darkness.

“Timberwolves!” She shouted.

“What?” Sam was confused for a second, then he embedded his chainsaw into the head of the charging timberwolf, which spewed out myriads of splinters. He paused for a second, to read a message in his cranial computer. “Oh, I get it. Timber-wolves!”

A pack of timberwolves charged at Sam, from between the trees. Then a pack of skeletons have also charged at Twilight from behind.

“You take care of the kleers,” Sam suggested, “I’ll take care of the lumber-work!” He then revved up his chainsaw and slashed away at the timberwolves.

Twilight looked at the kleer skeletons charging at her. She was scared and she didn’t want to repeat what happened at the farm. But she stood her ground. She charged up her horn and blew one of them into pieces. She looked at the skull landing in front of her hooves. She took a step backwards and then looked at the rest of the kleers, with a newfound determination. She began blasting them apart, one by one.

The kleer had no chance against Twilight’s magical beams. Soon, a carpet of bones covered the forest floor. After blasting apart the last one, Twilight looked back at how Sam was doing. He was doing fine. He sliced at the timberwolves’ feet and shouted “Timber!” each time a dismembered timberwolf fell to the ground. Twilight flew in to help him.

After the cloud of splinters settled, they heard Discord’s cry, followed by an enormous lightning across the sky.

“Discord!” Twilight yelled, then ran between the trees. Sam ran after her.

Twilight stopped, as the forest come to a clearing. There was the ruined castle of the two sisters in front of them. Lightnings sparked from a bright light inside the castle, with an occasional bigger one followed by a painful yelp from Discord.

“We’re here.” Said Twilight. “Oh, I hope we’re not too late!”

Level 3 - Castle Ruins

The castle was not empty. As expected, there were many monsters patrolling it. There was an adult arachnoid standing in front of the main gate, two pumpkin heads in front of the stairs and a couple timberwolves walking around. But most of all, there was a rocket launcher. That’s what Sam was the most interested in. The only thing between him and Twilight, and that rocket launcher was the rope bridge leading to it. Sam stepped onto it without much thought, but then he stopped.

“Uh, Twilight,” he said, “could you get me that rocket launcher over there, while I get rid of these fuckers?”

Twilight took a look at the bridge. “What do you mean? There’s nobody on it.”

“Oh just watch.” He then took a few more steps. And surely enough a kamikaze appeared in front of him and kleer skeleton behind him. “See? Now go!”

“Are you sure you don’t need any help?”

“What I need,” Sam shouted as he shot down the kamikaze and had the skeleton in a headlock, while new ones have spawned in their places, “is a goddamn rocket launcher!”

“Alright, alright!”

Twilight then flew above the castle entrance. The arachnoid let out a blood curling scream, as it spotted her and began shooting with its chain gun. Twilight blocked all of the bullets with a magical shield. When the arachnoid stopped shooting for a second, Twilight flew down to the rocket launcher. The arachnoid fired once more, which Twilight blocked with a shield again. The pumpkin heads ran up to her and slashed with their chainsaws. Thankfully, they were too stupid to get around the shield, so instead their saws just pressed against the shield, which made a loud metallic screaming noise. The timberwolves however, were intelligent enough to get around the shield and soon Twilight was about to get bitten.

As the wolves leapt towards her, she released the shield with a perfect timing and the two chainsaws got lodged inside two timberwolves’ heads. The arachnoid had a clear shot on her, which it planned on taking advantage of. But Twilight put a small shield around its gun, rendering it useless. She took the opportunity and grabbed the rocket launcher and flew away. Sam has already finished with the bridge.

“Here it comes, Sam!” Twilight shouted as she dropped the gun at him.

He grabbed it and with three rockets, blew up the wolves and the pumpkin heads running towards him. Only the arachnoid was left, but not for long. It had no chance to avoid the four rockets heading its way. After four explosions, it laid down in a pool of blood.

The entrance was finally clear. A yelp from Discord could be heard from inside the castle. Sam took his time, but Twilight ran right up to the entrance and opened the doors. That was a mistake. Four unusually large gnaars were waiting inside. They all ran up to the door and punched Twilight, which sent her flying down the stairs. Sam looked at Twilight flying past him and roll on the ground, then at the four enraged gnaars bursting through the open door. He launched a rocket towards them, but that wasn’t enough. With another punch, he was sent downstairs too.

Twilight then got up and fired a continuous laser towards one of the gnaars. It shielded its face with its arm and walked slowly towards Twilight. Meanwhile, another one lunged at her and put its massive hand around her head. She charged up her horn and blew the gnaar’s hand into pieces.

At the same time Sam was also dealing with his own two gnaars. He grabbed his chainsaw and shredded one of the fists flying towards him. The other one prepared to attack, but Sam ducked under its swinging hand and punched it through the eye, with the knife in his hand.

Twilight finished off one of the gnaar with the blown up hand, by grabbing it with her magic and smashing it into the other one-handed gnaar on Sam’s side and sent both down the ravine next to the castle. She noticed the other one running at her, but Sam stepped in and shoved his chainsaw into the top of the gnaar’s mouth, which came out through the top of its head. Sam then pulled the chainsaw out, tearing the gnaar's face into two.

“Lay off the steroids asshole!” He yelled at the mutilated corpse, then looked at Twilight, who was shaking blood off her face. “You okay there?”

“Yes, now let’s get Discord.”

They went through the main entrance. The hallway was brightly illuminated by the bright blue sphere on top of the stairs. It was Discord, who was surrounded by the ball of electricity, which was fed by two tall pylons by the side.

“Discord!” Twilight cried out and ran towards him.

“He’s ours!” An old woman’s voice could be heard from the side.

“Can’t escape from Mental’s embrace!” Said another one.

Soon, hunched over old witches emerged from the shadows, carrying large bubbling cauldrons as they levitated in the air. They looked as comical as they were grotesque. They settled down, then thrown magical skulls at Twilight. Sam gunned them down, but more broke through the windows, using old brooms to fly. They were cackling maniacally as they flew erratically, bouncing off walls and pillars and were throwing magical projectiles.

“I’ll take care of them,” said Sam to Twilight, “you get Discord!”

Twilight flew up to Discord and attempted to get close to him.

“Discord, we’re here!” She said.

“You’re too late!” Discord replied. “They already... got me!” He said while writhing in pain.

“I’m sure we can do something!” Twilight said, then looked around and saw the pylons. “I know, the pylons.”

She tried to destroy one of them with a laser beam, but the pylon didn’t even shake. She tried to cast a spell on Discord’s magical chains, but it just shocked her through the horn. Sam saw what Twilight was attempting to do, so when there was a moment of nothing flying towards him, he shot two rockets at the pylon. But it just wouldn’t budge.

“It’s... no use!” Said Discord. “Just... kill me... so they can’t get to me!”

“No!” Twilight objected. “After all you’ve gone through, I can’t just let you die here!”

“But I... can’t take it anymore!”

“You’ve got to try, Discord!”

“I can’t!”

“Equestria needs you!”

“I can’t!”

Meanwhile, more buffed up gnaars came in through the door.

“You wanna hurry up a bit?!” Sam yelled out. “I can’t hold them up for much longer!”

“Do this for all the friends you’ve made.” Twilight continued. ”If not for me, if not for Equestria, then do it for Fluttershy!”

Discord grabbed onto the ground.

“We can’t let Mental take over, imagine what would happen to me, to Celestia, to everyone!”

Discord got on all fours.

“Imagine what would happen to Fluttershy!”

“I can’t...” Discord’s eyes opened wide, “...let that happen!”

He bursted out from his electric cage. Lightnings shot out in all directions, annihilating all witches and gnaars and magical pylons in the vicinity, in a bright flash of light. Discord laid on the ground, small blue sparks of electricity still bouncing off his fur.

“I knew you could do it, Discord!” Said Twilight as she walked up to him.

Discord rubbed his head and groaned as he got up.

“Ugh, what a miserable situation I’ve got myself into. Next time I’ll think twice before jumping in front of a magical beam.” He then noticed Sam walking up the stairs. “Who’s our new friend, by the way?”

“That’s Sam,” Twilight introduced him to Discord, “we wouldn’t be here without him.”

“Discord, I presume.” Said Sam.

“You presumed correctly, good sir! Say, have we met before?”

“You have?” Twilight asked in surprise.

“I uh...” Sam replied “I’m pretty sure I’d remember someone like you.”

Discord just laughed, then snapped his fingers and they were back in Ponyville. “Who missed me?!” He exclaimed loudly.

“You’re okay!” Fluttershy ran up to him and hugged him.

“Oh, we thought you were gone!” Said Rarity to Twilight.

“Pff, it was nothing,” said Sam, “you should have seen her destroy those gnaars!”

“I’m guessing the princess of friendship did fight on the battlefield, after all.” Said Starlight with a grin.

“No time for celebration,” Rainbow flew in very anxiously, “the next wave has almost arrived. And it’s way bigger than any of the ones before!”

“They know I’m here,” said Sam, “they’re kicking it up.”

Upon hearing all that, Twilight got filled with determination. “Ponies!” She ordered. “Prepare for battle! We can’t back down now!”

“Absolutely!” Said Starlight enthusiastically. “Now that we have Sam and Discord with us, we’re sure to kick their butts!”

“Kick their asses, you mean.” Sam interjected, after picking up a tommygun.

“Pinkie,” said Twilight, “how powerful is your party cannon?”

“It’s pretty powerful!” She said proudly.

“Good, because we’re going to need it.” She turned to Applejack. “Applejack, gather up the family and everything you can use as a weapon.”

“Sure thing, Twilight!” Applejack answered.

“Fluttershy, gather up any help the animals can give us.”

“Way ahead of you, Twilight!” Fluttershy responded with enthusiasm.

“Discord, inconvenience the enemy as much as you can. Don’t let them put a single claw on anyone.”

“Oh, you know me well.” Discord joked.

“Rarity, turn anything you can into a weapon.”

“Hmm, I do have a couple ideas.” Rarity pondered.

“Rainbow, don’t let anything in the air touch the ground.”

“Alright!” Rainbow shouted and punched the air.

“Spike, unleash the dragon you are and prepare your lungs.”

“I’ll incinerate them!” Spike puffed up his chest.

“Starlight, utilize every offensive and defensive spell you can.”

“You’re really getting the hang of this, aren’t you?” Said Starlight with an impressed grin.

“The future of Equestria is at stake here, I have to.”

The earth began to tremble, the sound of the approaching army filled the air.

“Citizens of Ponyville,” Twilight shouted, “grab your armour, grab your weapons! Don't let these monstrosities take away your homes!”

Everyone got into position. Newfound courage appeared on everyone’s faces. The citizens held their spears steadily, the defence gathered, everypony grabbed whatever they could and prepared for battle. Sam prepared his weapons, Spike readied his breath, Discord rolled up his non-existent sleeves. Fighting spirit filled the air.

“Everypony ready?”

The town cheered.

“Alright ponies, it’s time to get serious!”

Level 4 - Back in Ponyville

The earth trembled, the air rumbled, the sound of a charging alien horde filled the air. The ponies prepared themselves. The horns glowed, the backs arched, the ponies did not plan on backing down. Though the sound of the attacking monsters was loud, it was the quiet before the storm. The noise, approached like a rolling storm cloud, herald of a coming battle.

And they have finally arrived. The monsters poured out from between the trees. The grinding of caterpillar threads, the stomping of metallic feet, the clopping of skeletal hooves, the screaming of headless kamikazes, the snorting of zum’buls, the thundering charge of bulls served as the marching song of the alien horde.

The ponies did not shake in fear. Princess Twilight stood at the forefront, “Attack!” she shouted and the pony army has charged at the attacking horde. Rockets, lasers, chained together balls and fierce pegasi flew in the air. The citizens of Ponyville screamed with ferocity never seen before. Their hooves crushed skulls, their spears pierced through alien flesh. They fought valiantly, but the monsters kept coming.

Sam himself was in the middle of the battlefield. He showered the enemy with bullets from his tommygun. Starlight cut the beasts in half with her lasers. The apple family chucked large rocks with their improvised slingshot. Rainbow and the other pegasi beat up the harpies coming from the sky. Fluttershy rode on a ferocious bear, while Discord turned the woodland critters into savage beasts, thirsty for alien blood. Pinkie Pie shot the deadliest showers of confetti from her cannon. Rarity made herself armour and a sword out of gems and fought as a brave but elegant warrior. Spike scorched the enemy with his immense fire breath. Twilight went for the big ones. She emerged from the battlefield and blasted two walkers into pieces.

But the monsters kept coming. They just kept coming. And though they were fighting fearlessly, the forces of Ponyville dwindled. The monsters simply created too much of a chaos, their powerful attacks quickly overwhelmed the pony defenders. And their numbers were infinite. They just did not stop coming. Sam’s weapons weren’t enough either. They took too many bullets and there was too many of them. Clearly they needed to come up with something.

“They’re too much!” Shouted Spike, as the group was forced back into the town. “We can’t hold ‘em!”

Sam looked for a solution. He looked around at his comrades and began thinking. He saw an array of rockets headed towards Starlight, who was about to shoot them down.

“Starlight, rockets!” He shouted.

“Yeah, I know!” She shouted back.

“No, I mean use them!” He shouted again.

Starlight was confused for a moment, then it clicked. Instead of shooting them down, she grabbed the rockets in midair, with her magic, and directed them back at the enemy, blowing groups of smaller monsters into pieces. She kept her new tactic and juggled rockets like Kukulkán.

Sam then looked at the Apple family’s slingshot. He saw their rocks crushing through monsters, but not enough of them. Their strikes were effective, but not effective enough.

“Hey,” he called out to them, “aim the slingshot at the big bastards! The best buckers defend the sling operators!”

They switched places around. Applejack and Big Mac kicked two approaching zum’buls’ teeth in, while Applebloom and Granny Smith shot a large rock out of the slingshot and crushed a walker with it.

Sam then handed his tommygun to Discord.

“You’ve got fingers,” he said, “you can use a gun.”

Discord looked at the gun with a bit of confusion, as he never used one before, but he liked the idea. He made a copy of the gun and handed the original back to Sam. Several copies of the tommygun have appeared in the hands of his savage critters. Suddenly, all of them were wearing fancy suits and fedoras.

“I think it’s time to go to the mattresses.” Said Discord with an Italian accent.

“Forget about it!” Replied Fluttershy, who was now also wearing a fancy suit and a fedora. She was sitting on the shoulders of a very dapper looking Harry the Bear, who wielded two tommyguns. This newly formed gang then began shooting up the place.

Sam stared at them for a minute, then he turned to the pegasi. He was about to say something, but he saw that they already had a plan in action. They were gathering small black clouds, which they kicked repeatedly, zapping the enemy with lightning.

“Yeah, that’ll work.” He said to himself, then called out to Rarity, Pinkie and Spike. “Cover me!” He shouted, then grabbed his chainsaw and ran into the battle.

Rarity ran after her and sliced at the enemy. Pinkie loaded Spike into her cannon and fired him out. While in the air, Spike engulfed himself in an enormous ball of fire and reduced every alien monster in his path to ashes. Rarity grabbed him with her magic and put him on Sam’s shoulder. He torched the surrounding monsters, while Sam gunned them down. The alien horde was shrinking. They were simply crushed by the resourceful pony army.

The battle seemed to be nearing its end. But then, two gigantic four-armed beasts emerged from the distance. They flung rapid fireballs at Ponyville, burning many houses and disrupting the pony army on multiple fronts. It might just have been too much for them to take, but Twilight appeared and blasted them with tremendous bursts of energy. There was something odd about her. She was shrouded by a red glow. Turns out, she found something extremely useful.

The four-armed beasts fell to the ground in no time. Twilight landed in the middle of the battle field and as the red glow around her began fading, she fired a huge explosion, decimating all alien scum in Ponyville. The battle was over, for now.

The crowd was just about to cheer, but there was no time. Another, even bigger four-armed monster emerged. It lobbed many fireballs at Ponyville, destroying the Apple family’s sling and scattering the gun-wielding critter gang. With a few whips from its enormous arms, it swathed away all the pegasi warriors. It then began rampaging all over Ponyville, smashing multiple houses.

“Keep firing!” Sam shouted while picking up a double barrelled shotgun.

Everyone gathered themselves and resumed fighting the monster. The bullets stabbed its flesh, the lasers scorched its skin, but it only made it angrier. That’s when Sam jumped on Twilight’s back.

“Bring me up to the fucker,” he said, “I want to say hello in person.”

Twilight flew him up, right in front of the monster’s face. Sam then shot two loads of shotgun pellets into its right eye. The monster roared in pain, then tried to swath them away. But Twilight was too quick, compared to the half-blinded monster. She directed multiple laser beams at it, while the others kept attacking it.

A flock of pegasi appeared and covered the monster in black clouds. The thunder struck the monster, as it flailed away.

“Go above,” Sam told Twilight, “I’ve got an idea.”

Twilight flew up above the monster and the clouds covering it. It flailed around, trying to escape the storm cloud and flung as many fireballs as it could. It was distracted. Sam brought out his chainsaw and jumped off Twilight’s back. She was surprised and tried to get him back, but Sam was already among the storm clouds. He stabbed the back of the monster’s head with the chainsaw. The monster roared as Sam slid down its back with the chainsaw, scratching away at its back all the way down.

“Clear the clouds!” Twilight shouted at the pegasi.

At that point everyone saw the massive gashing wound on the monster’s back. Rainbow, upon seeing the enormous cut, shouted down at the ground.

“Aim at the cut!”

The pegasi heard that and repeated it, in case the ground didn’t hear. As such, all bullets buried themselves into the monster’s wound and lasers burned it from the inside. The monster cried out in pain, then stumbled forward, towards the rest of Ponyville. Twilight saw that and grabbed the falling monster and thrown it to the other side, saving what’s saveable.

Now the battle was over. Everyone cheered. The monsters were vanquished. The ponies gathered up to celebrate their victory. Sam looked at the happy ponies gladly. But duty called and he turned towards Canterlot. Applejack saw that.

“Hey, where’re you going?” She asked.

“I have to go,” he answered, “I’m going to end this invasion in its core.”

“But who will defend Ponyville?” Applebloom asked him.

Sam turned around and looked at all the ponies who fought by his side.

“You will!” He replied with a smile.

Everyone paused. Then Twilight ran up to him.

“Thank you for your help. How can we ever repay you?” She said.

“No need to. The only one who’s going to pay here is Mental.”

“Who’s this Mental, by the way?” Asked Pinkie Pie.

“He’s the main guy behind the invasion and his base is in...” He looked up as if trying to dig up a memory, then back at Twilight. “Canterlot.”

“Canterlot?” Twilight got worried.

“Yeah, he’s already got the rulers.”

“Celestia and Luna! That can’t be!”

“Well it won’t be, after I’m finished with him.”

“I must go with you!”

Everypony was taken aback by that sentence.

“But Twilight,” Starlight stepped in, “you can’t leave us here. You’re our most important defence.”

“But I can’t leave Sam by himself.”

“Yes you can,” Sam interjected, “I can take care of myself.”

“No,” Twilight insisted, “I must go with you.”

“But what about your town?”

Twilight thought for a moment. “Discord,” she said to Discord, “could you make several copies of Sam’s weapons?”

“Could I?” He said enthusiastically and suddenly, everyone in town had their own tommyguns, shotguns and rocket launchers. “They will take some getting used to, especially with hooves, but they’re great fun to use.”

“Ponies,” Twilight started her speech, “you fought valiantly on this day. And you will fight again soon. But I must go. Sam and I will stop this war at its core. Before I part with you, the only thing I ask you, is to keep fighting. Use everything you learned from this battle, work together to bring them down and don’t let the enemy win.”

Everyone seemed to have their fighting spirit lifted.

“Fight!” Twilight continued. “For victory! For Equestria!”

“For Equestria!” The crowd cheered.

Level 5 - Road to Canterlot

The ponies waved at Sam and Twilight, as the two were leaving Ponyville. They followed the train tracks, because that was a sure way to reach Canterlot. They waved back and embarked on their journey. Sam looked at the waving ponies, now wielding shotguns, tommyguns and rocket launchers, feeling a bit of pride in his heart. Both for his own work and for the ponies, for being able to stand their ground against Mental’s army.

“I’m starting to like this place.” He remarked.

“It’s really not like this most of the time.” Twilight explained. “We’re normally very peaceful and friendly.” Sam rolled his eyes as Twilight talked. “We really don’t like conflict. We prefer diplomacy, we haven't had a war in ages.” She proclaimed proudly.

„And you can kick serious ass too, when you want to.” Sam replied.

Twilight paused for a moment, then asked, “What’s your problem with donkeys anyway?”

“What?” Sam was caught off guard by that remark.

“You’ve been talking about kicking donkeys so much. You even corrected Starlight when she said kicking butts.”

“Oh, you mean ass, as in donkey!”

“You know that’s a pretty bad slur, right?”

“No, I mean ass as in butts.”

“So you call donkeys butts? I fail to see how that’s any better!”

“No, look…” Sam tried to explain himself, “ass might mean donkey, but it also means butt. But butts aren’t donkeys.”

“What?” Sam’s obtuse explanation confused Twilight even more.

“Alright, jeez! I never had to think so much about the word ass before.”

An awkward silence lingered above them, as they looked at the barren landscape. Dark brown clouds were crawling across the sky.

“Haven’t seen the Sun or the Moon in quite a while now.” Twilight remarked. “That would be a good way to see if the princesses are okay.”

“You probably shouldn’t go up there.” Sam advised. “Mental’s spaceships might be lurking behind them. Or another meteor shower.”

“A meteor shower?”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if the Moon peaked through those clouds.”

“The Moon?”

“There’s a reason we call him Mental, you know.”

“He tried to crash the Moon into the ground?”

“Yeah, good old times.”

“I don’t think Princess Luna would let him do that.”

“Let’s hope you’re right.”

“We got to hurry, who knows what he’ll be capable of doing with the princesses out of the way.”

“They’re fine.” Sam tried to reassure Twilight.

“How can you be so sure?”

“The computer inside my brain told me. Trust me, it’s never wrong.”

That didn’t calm Twilight down. She wasn’t sure whether to believe this mysterious cranial computer or not.

They’ve been following the train tracks for a while, which paid off. There was the train, sitting still on the tracks, right in front of them.

“Look,” Twilight exclaimed, “there’s the train! We can still catch it.”

“Huh, how convenient.” Sam commented.

Twilight ran towards the train, then stopped running, when she heard noises coming from inside it. Sam caught up with her from behind. He was counting down audibly. And just when he reached zero, the train’s door burst open and mutated ponies erupted out of it. They were blue, they were vicious and they breathed fire. Some of them had wings and swooped down, some of them had horns and fired lasers from a distance.

They took Twilight by surprise, but Sam was prepared. He grabbed his golden sceptre and smashed the mutant horses that got close. Twilight realized what was happening and she beamed down the horses in the sky and in the distance.

Once they all died, Twilight took a close look at one of them.

“Are these ponies?” She asked.

“Yeah,” Sam answered, “I should have known Mental was going to have fun with that Reptiloid DNA again.”

“He turned ponies to his side?”

“Yeah, he tends to do that to worlds he conquered.”

“We must hurry then.”

They boarded the train, killed a couple mutant horses that remained on board and headed to the driver’s cabin. Twilight tried to figure out the controls, while Sam noticed something. It made his eye beam up.

“How convenient!” He shouted enthusiastically and picked up a minigun. Then he shot down all remaining mutant horses that were still after them.

“How do I drive this?” Twilight asked, while looking at the many levers.

Sam looked at the controls, pushed and pulled a few levers and the train began moving.

“How’d you do that?” Twilight asked.

“Cranial computer remember?” Sam answered.

The train was speeding up nicely. The tracks were a bit rough, but it was going well. Canterlot was getting closer and closer. Of course, the trip wasn’t undisturbed. Some clatter could be heard from the top of the train, as skeletons and mutant horses jumped on top of it.

“I’ll deal with them!” Said Sam and he climbed outside. He grabbed his trusty minigun and took down anyone who dared to board the train without his permission. Some monsters even jumped in through the windows, which Twilight swiftly took care of.

Soon bulls approached the train and crashed into it sideways, trying to derail it. Even flying robots flew in, trying to push Sam off.

“Sam, could you take care of those bulls?!” Twilight shouted, as she tried to deal with the flying robots of her own.

“I’m kind of busy right now!” Sam shouted back, as the flying robots were now grabbing and pulling him.

Twilight thought for a bit. She concentrated on the train very hard, then with a bit of effort, she lifted the train up in the air. The bulls bunched up below the flying train, which Twilight crashed back down with immense force. The bulls were grinded up by the train’s wheels crashing against the railing. Their bones shattered, as their bodies were pulverized into tiny pieces. Sam held on. Then, once all bulls were reduced to ground meat, he could take down all the annoying floaters around him.

But as it turns out, that was merely a distraction. They heard a deep monstrous moan. Sam was too busy dealing with the floaters, to take a look, but Twilight managed to catch a glimpse of where they were headed and saw the railroad running straight into an enormous mass of lava which had two gigantic arms growing out of it.

“Sam!” Twilight leaned out the window and shouted. “Jump!”

Sam turned around and saw the huge lava golem in front of the train. He didn’t hesitate to jump right off the train. Twilight flew out the window and caught Sam in the air. The train rode towards the lava monster, which slammed on it with its massive arm, completely obliterating it. The shockwave pushed them further, but they managed to land safely, save for a few cuts and bruises. The debris was still flying as they got up. Twilight took a good look at the lava monster, but Sam’s attention was pulled somewhere else.

“Is it Christmas already?” He exclaimed and picked up a cannon. “Or is it my birthday?”

“Sam,” Twilight shouted, “look out!”

Sam looked and there was a big ball of lava heading towards his way. He didn’t realize, but Twilight was already fighting the lava golem, while he was talking to his cannon. He aimed it at the ball of lava and launched a cannonball at it, which plowed right through it, straight into to the lava golem’s side. A small bit of lava broke off and formed into a smaller lava golem. Twilight blasted it with laser, but it only broke into three smaller golems. That process repeated itself a few more times, as Sam shot more cannonballs at the lava monster. Twilight tried to destroy all smaller lava golems, but she couldn’t keep up. There was just more and more of them.

“It just keeps breaking into more of them!” She complained.

“Yeah, I hate fighting this guy.” Sam replied.

Twilight thought for a bit, then got an idea. She flew up to the small golems and blasted them with freezing air. They all solidified into rock, which Twilight blasted apart with her magic. She then flew up to the big one and froze a small chunk of it. Sam saw that and shot a cannonball right where the lava was solidified. The big golem shrunk slightly, as it couldn’t use that part of itself anymore. Soon Twilight solidified more of it and Sam kept breaking it apart with his cannonballs. The monster was quickly reduced to rubble.

“Good thinking!” Sam complimented Twilight and raised his hand for a high-five. Then he realized his mistake and settled on a fist-hoof bump instead.

But as the searing rubble cooled down, it began to shake. The rocks flew towards each other and formed into yet more golems.

“Nevermind.” Said Sam and he continued fighting.

Thankfully, blowing these rock golems to pieces was much more effective. Still, there were many of them and while Twilight had an easier time blasting rock apart, the fight still took a lot of time. The golems were breaking, the rubble was flying, and eventually, they succeeded. They took a few breaths as the dust settled and looked at each other.

“Let’s just get to Canterlot already!” Said Twilight tiredly.

“Yeah…” Sam mustered up a response and they began walking towards Canterlot.

It was close now, the mountain the city was built into was already casting its shadow. But it was still far away. For a brief moment the sky cleared. The Moon and the Sun could be seen.

“Oh no!” Said Twilight as she saw that. “Both the Moon and the Sun are up.”

“Uh… is that bad?” Sam asked.

“That means Celestia and Luna are in trouble!”

“Then we better get to them!” Sam shouted and they started running.

Canterlot wasn’t too far away now. But unfortunately, the two of them had one more obstacle in their way. Suddenly the noise of an army teleporting in could be heard. Sam and Twilight kept running. Twilight rose up in the air, taking Sam with her. But she crashed into an invisible energy shield. The army has now completely surrounded them. Every single monster, tanks, gnaars, kleers, zum’buls, walkers, devil horses, beheaded soldiers, everything they’ve encountered before and some more, was there. And they wanted only one thing. Their blood.

Sam and Twilight stood back-to-back, staring down the army of monsters charging at them. Sam took out his minigun, Twilight charged up her horn and they looked at each other.

“Ready to get serious?” Sam asked.

"Absolutely." Twilight grinned.

"Well then..." Sam replied.

They faced the approaching alien horde and in unison, they said; “Let’s get serious!”

Level 6 - Canterlot

The battle raged on. The monsters were falling, the projectiles filled the air, the ground was soaking in the spilt blood. There were many. Too many. Sam and Twilight fought with all their might. The monsters crumbled under their power. But the army was much too large.

The cacophonous symphony of growling, stomping, rumbling and hooves clopping, played Equestria’s funerary dirge. Sam and Twilight were supposed to be the saviours, but the endless stream of vicious monsters may put an end to their mission.

They stood back to back, facing the vast horde of monsters. Their foreheads gleaming from sweat and blood, Twilight’s horn searing, Sam’s gun smoking. No words came out of their mouths, only puffs of warm air. And chaos all around them. All hope seemed to be lost.

Then, like the rising sun that vanquishes the dark of the night, through the rumbling of the charging army, a cry could be heard. A battle cry, that soared across the battlefield.

“Yaks smash!”

Suddenly, over the hills in the distance, a comparably large army emerged. They were the yaks from Yakyakistan. The yak army has pulverized the confused alien horde. They ploughed through their ranks. Broken bodies, crushed steel and shattered bones flew in the air. The yaks’ hooves sprayed the bloody soil all around, as their immense horns slammed the alien horde. All hope was not lost.

Prince Rutherford emerged from the chaos and stepped forth to Twilight.

“Yaks and ponies friends!” He said, in his usual rough voice. “If monsters smash ponies, yaks smash monsters!”

“Thank you, Prince Rutherford!” Twilight was grateful. “We don’t know how much longer we could take them.”

“Yaks happy to fight for ponies!”

“The princesses are in trouble, however. Could you help us get to Canterlot?”

The prince looked towards Canterlot. “Yaks make way!”

As such, Prince Rutherford and a group of other yaks cleared a path through the battlefield. Sam and Twilight followed. Soon the gates of Canterlot appeared. Demons stood on top of the towers and showered the yaks with their fireballs. The yaks began slowing down, as they couldn’t fight back the demons.

“Yaks can go no longer,” said Rutherford as he and his squad stopped, “yaks can’t smash demons.”

“The gate is closed.” Said Sam to Twilight. “We’ll have to find another way in.”

Rutherford thought for a moment. “Me know a way in.” He said with a surprisingly playful expression. Then he rushed straight towards the gate and smashed it open. “Door not open for pony? Door open for yak!”

Sam and Twilight ran in through the now open gates. They thanked Prince Rutherford as they parted ways. The yaks stayed on the battlefield, while Sam and Twilight hurried inside the city.

Aside from the distant rumbling of the battle outside, the streets of Canterlot were silent. Not a soul around, just the forlorn ruins of the once great city. All windows gaped in silence, darkness fell on all homes. All the ponies were in hiding. But the hiding ponies slowly emerged as they saw their saviours.

“Princess Twilight!” A foal shouted from the rubble, followed by even more ponies emerging from the ruins.

Moon Dancer could be seen running at them. “Twilight!” She shouted worriedly, before stopping in front of her. “I’m so glad you’re fine!”

“Of course I am.” Twilight answered. “It’s all thanks to Sam over here.” She pointed at Sam with her eyes. “Tell me,” she continued, “is Celestia and Luna okay?”

“I don’t know,” Moon Dancer replied, “we haven’t seen them and the castle is brimming with monsters.”

“Look out!” Sam shouted and showed them out the way. A bright blue ball of electricity hit him right in the chest, pushing him on the floor.

A blue reptiloid stood on top of a tower. It snarled and threw another electric ball towards Twilight, which flew away with a deep whistle as she dodged out of its way. She then shot a continuous charge of laser at the reptiloid, which stumbled backwards in pain and fell off the tower to its death.

“Are you okay?!” She rushed to help Sam get back up.

“I’m fine,” Sam answered, “I survived worse.”

“They’re back!” A pony from the crowd screamed and everypony scattered to hide back into the rubble. Moon Dancer hesitated, but as she began running away, a demon stood in front of her. It punched her out of the way and snarled. The demon cast a small black hole with its hands and summoned a ball of fire, which it promptly tossed at Sam. He jumped out of its way and destroyed the demon with a charged up cannonball. But right behind the collapsing demon, more monsters began pouring down the streets.

“Let’s just get to the castle quickly.” Said Twilight to Sam and they began running.

They ran down the streets, mowing down all opposition in the process. Gnaars, kleers, mutant horses and kamikazes rushed down the streets, reptiloids and arachnoids stood on top of the ruined buildings, raining down projectiles onto the crowded streets.

The fight of the streets started to become a bit much. But a random unicorn could be seen running towards them, holding something with his magic. He called out to Sam.

Sam looked at the rushing unicorn. “What are you doing?” He shouted. “Get off the battlefield you maniac!”

“Sam,” he said as he approached, “I’ve found this gun. I believe it’s yours.” He handed the gun to Sam, which turned out to be his flamethrower.

“My hero!” Sam replied with a comically exaggerated voice and took the flamethrower.

“Wait don’t...!” Twilight shouted at the random unicorn, who was now running back into the battlefield. She watched him get blown into pieces by a kamikaze.”...Run back into the battlefield.” She finished her sentence quietly.

Sam could only chuckle about it. He then burned all monsters around into a black crisp.

“Come on, let’s get to the castle.” He said, as the castle wasn’t far away now.

They ran towards the castle, but somebody got in their way. Or rather, somepony.

“Not so fast!” She said with a familiar booming voice.

“Princess Luna?” Said Twilight anxiously.

The dark alicorn laughed. “Luna? Don’t you recognize me, Princess Twilight?”

Twilight couldn’t pry the words out of her mouth.

“Come on, Princess Twilight,” she laughed “you can say it yourself! Nightmare Moon!”

Level 7 - Canterlot Castle

„Wait, you guys know each-other?” Sam asked.

Nightmare Moon giggled. “Yes indeed, Princess Twilight and I have... some history together.”

“She tried to bring eternal night and I stopped her.” Said Twilight.

“Well then,” Sam continued, “I can assure you, that you two will never meet again, ‘cause after I jam this gun up your ass…”

“Wait no,” Twilight interrupted Sam’s gloating, “that’s Princess Luna! We shouldn’t kill her!”

Nightmare Moon just laughed. “You fools!” She shouted, then shot a large burst of laser between Sam and Twilight, launching them to the left and right.

“You better come up with something then,” Sam shouted to Twilight, “'cause she ain’t gonna go easy on us!”

Nightmare Moon then aimed at Twilight and fired a continuous charge at her. She run along a wall, which the laser turned into dust, then flew up in the air.

“Luna, this isn’t you!” Twilight tried to reason with her. “Mental must have done something to you!”

“Oh you bet!” She replied then charged up her horn and fired a massive beam towards Twilight, who got out of its way just in time. But Nightmare just laughed and launched several other beams of that size. Twilight could get away from some of them, but was forced to use a magical shield instead.

“Luna, listen to me!” She tried to reason again, as the beam screeched against her shield.

“The only one I listen to is Mental!”

Finally, Sam interjected, with a cannonball to Nightmare Moon’s face, which stunned her for a second. In that short amount of time, Twilight could see the evil in Nightmare Moon’s eyes disappear and for a moment, she almost seemed to burst into tears of regret. But that moment has passed as soon as the fires of the explosion disappeared and the vengeful anger of the nightmare was back on her face. She turned to Sam and fired her enormous beams at him. Twilight tried to get Nightmare Moon’s attention back and burned her with laser. It worked and Nightmare Moon was now chasing Twilight again.

“Sam,” she called out, “aim your cannon at her head!”

“I thought you said…”

“Just do it!”

And sure enough, Sam launched another cannonball at Nightmare Moon. This time she knew about it and caught the cannonball with her magic. She made it orbit around herself for a bit, then launched it back towards Sam. Twilight flew in and caught it, spun it around herself once, then launched it back into Nightmare Moon’s face. She was stunned again, but recovered quickly. Her entire body started to glow, a black aura appeared around her and a tremendous laser beam came out of the blackness. Twilight picked Sam up quickly and teleported both of them out of the way of the enormous blast, which left a gigantic hole in the city. They appeared right next to Nightmare Moon.

“Now!” Shouted Twilight and Sam fired another cannonball.

While Nightmare Moon was stunned, Twilight flew up to her and cast a spell on her head, trying to yank out whatever turned her into Nighmare Moon. She yelped in pain and swatted Twilight away as she recovered from the blast. But Sam had already charged up another cannonball and launched it. Nightmare Moon got stunned again and Twilight tried again. She blasted Twilight away with a small charge of laser, sending both her and Sam on the ground. But their effort seemed to have worked this time. Nightmare Moon’s eyes and mane were flashing, as if she struggled to remain in control of her body.

“Luna, can you hear me?” Twilight yelled after getting up.

Luna’s voice came out of Nightmare Moon. “Help me!” Then with Nightmare’s voice, “Don’t come near me!” She then screamed in pain, which switched between Luna’s and Nightmare’s voice.

Twilight tried again. She flew up to Nightmare Moon and cast the spell again. As Nightmare Moon screamed, a purple smoke emerged from her mouth, like a tentacle. But she refused. She shot another laser at Twilight and went back to struggling.

She stopped for a moment and with Luna’s voice shouted out, “Get out!” A white light surrounded her and in a bright explosion, Nightmare Moon’s body got ripped into pieces. As they flew, the pieces turned into purple smoke and evaporated. Princess Luna was now in Nightmare Moon’s place. With a painful moan she fell to the ground.

“Luna!” Twilight ran up to her. “Are you okay?”

Luna got up, while holding her aching head. “I’m fine.” She said. “That’s something you won’t be able to say about Mental, if I get my hooves on him!” She then went back to holding her head in pain. She looked up at Sam. “Who is this?”

“Sam “Serious” Stone, monster murdering expert.”

“Please don’t lob any more cannonballs at my head.”

“As long as you don’t try to kill us again.” Said Sam and they both chuckled.

“Luna,” Twilight interjected, “where is Celestia?”

Luna thought for a moment. “Celestia! She’s in the castle!”

And as soon as she finished the sentence, monsters burst through the castle doors. Luna prepared to fight, but Sam walked in front of her.

“Rest your head princess, let me handle this.” He pulled out his mingun and mowed down all the monsters pouring out through the castle doors.

They ran inside the castle, through the now open doors. As expected, more monsters were inside the building. Sam destroyed all of them with his minigun. Luna looked at the smoking barrel of Sam’s gun, just winding down and was thoroughly impressed by it.

“Say,” she said to him, “may I borrow your spinning gun?”

Sam gave her a curious look. “Sure.” He said and handed his minigun to Luna.

Luna surrounded the gun with her magic. She leaned in slightly, as she was surprised by its weight. She stood up straight, she inspected the gun, she spinned the barrel and accidentally shot a few bullets into the ceiling.

“Now, careful with that!” Sam scolded her.

Luna looked at the monsters now erupting from all over the castle halls.

“Careful?” She said. “I thought this was a massacre!” And she mowed down all monsters coming towards them, with her new spinning gun, as confidently as Sam himself would do it.

“You’re getting the hang of it.” Sam complimented Luna.

But then, they could hear something moving outside the city walls. Something enormous. They walked out the door to check it out. The Alcor Class Warships were gathering and darkened the sky. Suddenly, a gigantic monster rose up. It roared and began moving towards Canterlot, the ground shaking beneath its hooves. And the monster was none other than Lord Tirek.

“I have returned!” He roared and smashed down two towers with his fists. His eyes gleamed like never before.

“Tirek!” Luna and Twilight yelped.

Sam walked in front of them. “You two get the other princess, I’ll deal with the big boy.”

“Are you sure you can handle this?” Luna asked him.

“Of course I can! Just ask Twilight!”

“He’ll be fine.” Twilight replied, dismissively waving her hoof. “Come on Luna, let’s get Celestia.”

With that, both of them were now heading back inside the castle. There were more monsters coming from inside. Luna and Twilight mowed them down, but Luna needed something more. She looked at her minigun, then pulled another one from it. She now had two miniguns.

“Haha! The gun has been doubled!” She exclaimed in excitement.

“I should really look into that spell.” Twilight commented.

They were moving further inside the castle, Luna massacring all monsters along the way. All of them just turned to mush, under the double minigun’s might. The halls have quickly turned bright red from the splattered remains of the attacking hordes.

“Sister, I’m coming for you!” She shouted at no one in particular and burst open the doors to the hallway.

Sam walked towards the huge monster, that was trampling all over Canterlot.

“This time you won’t get away!” Tirek roared. “I’ll annihilate this whole wretched land!”

“Not if I annihilate you first!” Sam gloated.

Tirek, looked down onto Sam and laughed. “You must be really brave and foolish to stand against me.”

Sam chuckled and pulled out his cannon. “Nah, I’m just serious!”

Level 8 - The Final Battle

Luna and Twilight burst into the throne room. Luna’s miniguns were smoking, while Twilight took off a gnaar’s eyeball that was stuck to her horn. The throne room was empty, except for Celestia. She was huddled up in front of her throne, inside a magical sphere, not unlike the one discord was trapped inside. She was writhing in pain, as her mane switched between her usual coloured mane and blazing fire.

“Sister!” Luna shouted and ran towards Celestia.

“Don’t come any closer!” She yelled at her.

“I can’t let you become Mental’s slave too!” Luna said and looked at the pylons casting the sphere around Celestia. She tried to destroy them with her guns, but it was fruitless.

“It’s all over!” Celestia exclaimed as tears were running down her face.

“No it’s not!” Luna shouted. “I was just saved from Mental’s clutches, we can save you too!”

“Equestria is doomed!” Celestia just cried.

“No,” said Twilight, “I’m here, Luna’s here and we’ve got help from the time-lock. We saved Ponyville and we also have Discord and the Yaks on our side. We only need you to tip the scales in our favour.”

“Please Celestia!” Luna pleaded. “You’ve got to fight against Mental’s influence!”

Celestia firmly planted her hooves on the ground and pushed herself up. She trembled from the pylons’ magic, she grinded her teeth in pain and opened her eyes slightly. She saw Luna and Twilight counting on her. She saw the monsters pouring in from the door, the Alcor Class Warships gathering outside, she heard Tirek too.

“Equestria needs all of us,” said Luna, “now more than ever!”

Celestia charged her horn up. A single tear rolled on the side of her cheek, as her expression turned from desperate pain, to determined anger. Suddenly, the sphere around her exploded into a bright light, the pylons dissolved, the attacking monsters turned to red mist. Celestia stood straight.

Meanwhile Sam was running away from the fiery beams of Tirek.

“I’ll crush you like an insect!” Gloated Tirek.

Sam laughed. “I eat fuckers like you for breakfast!” Then he shot a few rockets at him.

Tirek swatted the rockets out of the air. “You are nothing! What can a piece of dirt do against someone like me?”

“Just the usual,” Sam responded, “kick his fucking ass!”

Their battle raged on. Sam ran circles around Tirek, while Tirek blew parts of Canterlot into smithereens, with each fiery beam. Then, at the right moment, an enormous laser beam hit Tirek straight in the face.

“I’ll send you back to the burning pits of Tartarus, you monster!” It was Celestia, followed by Twilight and Luna.

“And take your ugly army with you!” Luna screamed out and attacked with both of her miniguns.

Twilight flew next to Sam. “How are you holding up?”

“I’m having a blast!” Sam answered.

“What do you say?” Twilight grinned. “Wanna take a ride?”

“With pleasure!” Sam hopped onto Twilight’s back. She flew up and they both began assaulting Tirek.

Tirek flailed at them, but he was no longer in control of the fight.

“You fools!” He roared, then laughed. “You can’t defeat me!”

He then pulled out a gatling gun with his right hand, then a rocket launcher with his left hand. The princesses flew circles around him, while Tirek tried to shoot them down. He fired lasers from between his horns, rockets and showers of bullets from his guns. Celestia shot continuous beams at him, Luna brought down a hail of bullets from her miniguns, Twilight blasted him multiple times and Sam wailed on him, with all the weapons he had.

But Tirek got the upper hand. He shot down Celestia with a rocket, blasted Luna with a fiery beam and smashed Sam and Twilight into the ground. They fell into the rubble that used to be Canterlot. Their bodies filled with pain. Tirek just laughed.

“Can’t you see?” He roared. “You’re nothing against me! This whole pathetic world will crumble under lord Mental’s might!” After that gloat, he charged up a beam, preparing to destroy the princesses and Sam.

Suddenly a tiny laser beam shot into his face.

“What is this?” He said in confusion.

It was Fancy Pants. He was standing on top of the ruins of Canterlot, his suit completely ruined.

“If I must die, then I won’t die hiding under the rubble!” He shouted proudly.

Then another beam of laser shot up at Tirek. This time it was Moon Dancer

“I didn’t learn all of these offensive spells, to never use them!”

Soon, more lasers began to burn away at him, as all unicorns of Canterlot stood up from the ruins. Pegasi gathered around him and showered him with the storm clouds they brought.

Then suddenly Discord appeared next to him.

“Missed me?”

He pulled out his tommygun, followed by all the ponies of Ponyville, bringing a deluge of bullets and rockets. Then came the Yaks, with a loud unified “Yaks Smash!” Then the choir of flugelhorns could be heard. The army of the Crystal Empire emerged. Their soldiers decorated with the corpses of Mental’s monsters, with Cadence and Shining Armour leading the army. The Griffons came in from the distance, even Princess Ember was there, with her own army of dragons.

“Face it Tirek,” said Celestia, “you’re done for!”

Tirek tried to swat them away, shoot them down, but he was greatly outnumbered. He was quickly overwhelmed by lasers, storm clouds, dragon fire, yaks, spears and everything else the ponies could use as weapons. The Apple family and all the ponies of Appleloosa caught him with their ropes and tried to bring him down to the ground. He stood his ground, but then the yaks saw the ponies’ effort and coordinated a synchronised attack to tip him over. He quickly fell to the ground and couldn’t get up, as all of Equestria was now holding him down. They bashed everything they had at him, pulled off his skin, cut up his flesh, broke his horns, he was bleeding profusely from all of his body. They pulled his head into the ground and allowed Sam to deal the finishing blow. He stepped on Tirek’s neck and showed his cannon right to the roof of his mouth.

“The insect stomps back, bitch!” And with a charged up cannonball, Sam blew Tirek’s brain into pieces.

With Tirek obliterated, Mental’s army was retreating. His warships were beaming up all the monsters they could, but the armies of Equestria decimated most of the fleet and wiped out all alien monsters, that were still left on the land.

A moment of silence lingered as the final warship fled away and broke the clouds. Soon the sky became clear. Both the Sun and Moon were still up. Celestia raised the Sun up to the top of the sky, while Luna lowered the Moon to its rightful place. The sunlight shone on the bloody battlefield and as the light reached the army standing atop Tirek’s mangled corpse, they cheered.

All of Equestria was cheering.

The war has been won.

Intro

Twilight Sparkle was anxiously pacing in the throne room. She took a few concerned looks at the map, but she could barely keep her eyes on it. Spike was also there, observing the happenings on the map.

“The Crystal Empire is under attack again!” He exclaimed.

Twilight stepped up to the map and stared forlornly at the Crystal Empire. A black mass surrounded it and tiny flashing lights showered it all over.

“And that’s Manehattan gone.” Said Spike, as he noticed Manehattan slowly disappearing off the face of the map, under a puddle of black. Twilight buried her face between her hooves.

“Why is this happening?” She groaned. “Why are these monsters attacking? What did we ever do to them?” The questions poured out, as her worry grown.

“Twilight!” Rainbow Dash burst through the door suddenly, followed by Applejack. “We managed to push back the attack, but the next one is already on its way. And that one's followed by another rush of suicide bombers!”

“I don’t think we can survive another one!” Said Applejack. “Especially not the suicide bombers.”

Twilight was ready to give up. On the map she saw the black mass of monsters approaching Ponyville. It wasn’t larger than any of the waves before, but they’ve taken too much already. She was on the verge of tears. This might be their final battle.

All of a sudden, in a bright flash of light, Starlight Glimmer appeared in the room.

“Twilight, you've got to see this!” She exclaimed. “The Time-Lock is opening!”

Outro

„So,” said Twilight, „what have you learned about friendship today?”

“Come on,” Sam replied, “do you really have to stick a lesson into all this?”

“No, I don’t have to. But honestly, would you have been able to do all this by yourself?”

“Of course, I always have!”

“Oh really? Have you ever freed anyone, with encouraging speeches?”

“Well no...”

“So what do you say? Was friendship necessary to win the war?”

“I guess so…”

“Can friendship bring the mayhem?”

Sam thought for a moment. “Yeah, friendship is serious!”

The time-lock has been activated. The bright light appeared in its middle. It was ready to bring Sam back to his own time.

“Off to fight another war?” Said Twilight.

“Nah, this was enough for a while.” Sam replied.

“So, what are you going to do? Celebrate with your friends and family?”

“I think I’ll just take a nice, relaxing bubble bath… and watch My Little Pony, apparently.”

They stopped in front of the time-lock’s light. They turned to each other.

“Thank you for everything you’ve done for us.” Said Twilight.

“It was a pleasure fighting alongside you!” Sam responded.

They saluted at each other. Sam turned back at everyone who helped him win the war. They all saluted and Sam saluted back. He turned to Twilight and they had a little fist-hoof bump. Sam then stepped into the light and disappeared as the time-lock winded down and deactivated.

Twilight stared at the silent machine for a minute, then turned to the rest of Equestria.

“Alright everypony, it’s time to wrap this bloody mess up!”