Attack on Connie

by TheOneAJ

Rating: teen
Tags: Original Character, Comedy, Random, Sex, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance
Length: 2700

Will Connie survive his girlfriends overprotective family?

When Summer Sketch become pregnant, all seemed to be going great. That is, until her very protective family hears the news, and wants to talk to the colt that knocked her up. Will Connie survive?

Art and pre-read by Summer Magic

Published 2017-06-23 17:50:07 UTC
Last updated 2017-06-23 17:50:07 UTC

Just wanna 'talk'

Summer Sketch was singing to the little form hiding in her widening blue stomach. She was a simple earth pony, but believed that any little thing she could do for her baby wouldn't hurt. It was a lullaby one of her own mothers would sing to her as a foal. Which one it was, she had forgot, XD, but she was sure her unborn foal would love it.

Yes, it was quite the big news when she and Connie found out. Maybe not 'so' much considering they had been dating for over ten months. Still, she couldn't have been happier when she told her entire family.

Suddenly, there was a loud knocking on her channel door. A rapid knocking. Getting up from her chair, she walked over to the door to see the father of her foal, a blue unicorn with a chest vest and an eye piece, breathing heavy with sweat running down his neck.

"Connie?" Summer asked, a little perplexed as he slammed the door shut and fell onto his hooves.

"Summer!" he cried. "You have to hide me!"

Before she could ask why, from outside, she clearly heard her mother, Crimson Glow, shouting out, "Come here, Connie! We just wanna, 'talk', to you!" This was followed by the clicking of guns, a large mob, and one chainsaw roaring into action.

Summer blinked dazedly onto to the floor. "Moles in hole, hun! What did you do?"

Quivering, Connie answered, "Nothing! Except loving you."

Summer let out an internal 'ah!' She had thought her family had taken the news a little to unrealistically well. As most considered her their a little cinnamon roll in their family bush, naturally, a lot of them were very protective of her. So it seemed to make sense many of them would want the blood of the stallion she had allowed to take away such innocence.

There was a knocking on the door. "We know you're in there, Connie!" The two lovers recognized the voice. It belonged to Summer’s older brother, Storm Chaser.

Connie jumped into Summer’s hooves and began to say his prayers.

Summer Sketch rolled her eyes and pointed to her forelock. "Alright, casy, hide in there, I'll talk to them."

Connie wasted no time crawling into Summer's mane. Once her coltfriend was nicely secured, she walked to the door, only for it to slam open. There was no time to her to question how it opened, for she was soon nose to nose with a giant, very unhappy mob.

"Where is he?!" Silver Starling cried, storming in ahead of the crowd, her giant flying wolf mom bearing her teeth.

"Yeah!" AJ, anothe blue unicorn, only this brother of Summer’a wore a blue scarf, said flashing his chainsaw around. The aura that surrounded it matched the colors of the glow around his horn.

Summer’s eyes widened. "Wait a minute, wait a minute!" she shouted to the crowd. Though it took a moment as AJ had to turn off his chainsaw. Soon, over a dozen ponies and various other races packed into her room.

She had a really large family.

"Now," Summer began, "can somepony please tell me what’s going on here?"

“Um…” Stormchaser, a bright red pegusis, fidgeted as he hid his weapons behind his wings.
“Hey, summy. We were all just going to talk to Connie about your baby.”

Everyone nodded in agreement.

Summer raised an eyebrow. "You were going to talk him...with shotguns?!" She didn’t just spot shotguns, but knives, bats, frying pans, machine guns, regular guns, chainsaws, pitchforks, and even a few shovels. Though, she had already made her point.

"Eh..." Season blinked, hiding her blaster behind her back. "No...." Soon everyone began to shake their heads and offer up their various answered of no.

"No!"

"No!

"Never!"

"Don't lie to me!" Summer’s growled, her brown eyes narrowing.

"No!"

"No!"

"Yes," her niece, a green pegasus named Pastel nodded

"Maybe a bit," her mommie, a blue pegasus named Flutterrose admitted.

"Okay, I was going to use him as target practice." Storm Chaser sheepishly grinned.

“I was going to shot his a few times,” her father, Editor, a grey earth pony with a yellow mane, grinned and held up his gun.

"I was going to chop off one of his legs!" Aj threw in. When everyone started to stare. "... What? I would have grown it back with magic."

"Give him to us anyways!" Fire-torch ordered.

"Yeah!"

Summer groaned. "You all said you were happy for me." -_-

"And we are," Crimson, her future overlord mother, a red earth pony with black splotches over her body, said, patting her daughter’s shoulders. "We just want what's best for you."

Everyone nodded and agreed.

"I mean," the pinto mare continued, "if you had to..." she gestured towards Summers belly, unable to say it. "We just wanted to make sure the S.O.B. who did it is the right stallion for you."

Everyone started to agree, until Summer’s mane started to speak, "Uh-huh!"

To everyone's shock, Connie’s head poked out of Summer’s forelock. "We have been lovers for almost a year!" No one said anything as his whole body crawled out. "We're adult ponies, so if we wanted a foal, then I don't see why not." Even as everyone raised their weapons, Connie boldly held up his marefriend’s hoof and kissed it. "I love my temptress very much. She is the most wonderful mare in the world." Summer blushed, and even the most blood hungry of the crowd couldn't help but “d’aw” at the sight. "I will love her ‘till the day we die, and no amount of guns or chainsaws will change that."

Everyone started to mumble in agreement as Connie leaned in to whisper to Storm Chaser, "Besides, if you should all be talking to anypony, talk to Foxwell." ;p

The peach colored pegasus mare and kitsune stallion looked at each other nervously. They then proceeded to slowly back away to the door.

"Plus," Connie said with a grin to the crowd, confident he won them over. "She decides what to put into her body. We all do when we decide what to eat and drink, soooooo...."

Several things happened in that moment. Summer facehoofed, Connie’s eyes widened, the mob rushed forward, AJ grabbed Connie by his collar with his magic, and pinned him to a table.

"I say," Storm Chaser said, as he and the mob looked down upon Connie like sharks. "We kill him."

"Yeah!" everyone, except for Summer, cheered.

"I agree," AJ said, "but, I say we stomp him, then we kill him!"

"YEAH!"

"I say we stomp him!" Crimson smiled.

"YEAH!"

"Then we tattoo him!" she continued.

"YEAH!"

"Then we hang him!"

"YEAH!"

"Then we play dress up and make him watch Teen Titans Go!"

"YEAH!"

"And then we kill him!"

"YEAH!" This time, the cheer was followed by guns and chainsaws firing off.

In a high pitched voice, Connie chimed in, "I say we let him go..."

"NO!"

Connie rolled his eyes, but not before there was a whistle. Everyone parted way as Painted Crescent, her most vicious mothey, trotted forward. She picked him up with her wings by his collar and stared into Connie with her red eyes.

"I say," she said, "you give him to me!"

"Yeah," everyone nodded in a more sadistic tone.

"Don't I get a last request?" Connie meekly asked.

There were a few murmurs, before the majority asked what he wanted.

"One final shot of tequila." He remembered something from a movie, and thankful saw Summer's record player with the song he needed. Soon, the glass was poured, and with his magic, Connie set the record up and music started to play.

It was none other, than the tequila song.
Although, he didn't gulp down his drink right away. Instead, he started to tap his hooves to the music. Which, soon enough, caused the crowd to nod their heads as well. Soon, Connie felt bold enough to dance a bit more, and by the next 'tequila!' he had half the room dancing along.

Summer Sketch watched on as she accepted the madness. Perplexed by what was happening as this mob who had wanted to kill her stallion moments ago for knocking her up, were all now sipping my their own shots as soon, her room became a dance hall. A dance, in which she found herself pulled in by Connie as another 'tequila!' shouted from the room.

Still confused, the pale blue mare found herself dancing to the music too, unaware for a while that Connie was dancing his way towards the door. It was only then did Summer let out a sly smile, as she blew her casanova a kiss for good luck.

He was just about home free, taking another 'tequila!' moment to crawl towards freedom. However, before he could leave, Fire Heart noticed this and shouted, "Hey! He's escaping!"

Connie "meeped" and ran right through the door. This singled the horde, who were polite enough to open Summer’s door first, then charged after him with their battle cries and weapons a blazing.

Once her room was empty, Summer sighed at the mess.

"I need normal friends."

Worried for Connie, but just as much as to what the stress would do to the baby, she rubbed her belly and said, "Don't worry, sweetie, you're daddy’s been in worse messes. Want me to tell you about the time with the dragon?" The gentle kick she felt was answer enough for her. She smiled, sat down, and starting her story.

*****

Meanwhile, in the rift hall, a pair of ponies, a green pegusis and yellow earth pony by the names of Mint Heart and Artistic Passion were walking by, when a screaming blue blur shot by them. This was fallowed, by a massive mob, having swollen with more family members and bystanders whom always wanted to be in a mob, giving chase.

"What the heck was that?!" Minty Heart asked

"Nope." Passy shook her head. "To early for this. -_-"

'Well I lived a good life!' Connie said to himself. 'I was able to make love to my beautiful mare, and she gets to always have a part of me.' As he thought this, a hail of bullets shot by him.

"Connie!" he heard someone say, "in here!" He looked ahead to see a yellow house’s door swing open. Realizing he had no better option, he dove inside the house, and it slammed behind him.

Moments later, the mob, with Storm and AJ at the front, pointed to the door, which was locked.

"Stand back!" Crimson ordered as a troop of gun-wielding ponies stood in front. "Fire!" At her command, the shot at the door until it fell open. The crowd rushed inside, to find the room, not pitch black, but rather dark.

They all filed in, screaming for Connie, till Storm shouted, "Quiet, quiet!" He fired a few shots into the air to get everyone's attention, and once all eyes were on him, his lifted a hoof to his face and blew on it. Next, he held them to his ear and stretched out his neck, to which everyone got the message. So, they waited, and listened.

A soft breeze could be heard along with the places AC. The lights, as it turned out, hadn't been turned off, but rather dimmed. However, all was quiet, eerily quiet. It was almost like in a movie just before a tense scene where the hero—

'Clank!'

All eyes turned towards the source of the noise.

"It came from over there!" someone said, and the riots echoed their battle cries and raced forward.

They entered a hallway, made a couple of turns, weapons at the ready, eager to—

"NNNNOOOO!" a female voice boomed.

All at once, the mob came to a halt. Green lights flickered on, as a gigantic pony head looked down at them, flames sprouting from behind it.

You dare! You dare m, harm the boy! You shall not have him! For I, am the great Mawage! There will be, NO survivors!”

The crowd began to whimper as one pony relieved themselves.

"I am here! But soon, YOU, will not be here!"

It was at this point a small portion of the crowd began to run towards the exit.

"YOU DARE!" the floating head shouted, snorting flames from its noise. "The great Mowage, leaves, NO survivors! All your worst nightmares, are about to come true!"

"Stay where you are!" Storm Chaser tried to command, but even he was shaking in his horseshoes. "Stand your ground!"

"YOU DARE!" the head continued, as part of the mob seemed to remember they had guns.

“Wait a tick!” The Editor said, realizing something upon looking down to his gun. “We weapons!” This in turn had a wave effect as everyone started to build back up their courage and aimed

"You dare come for the boy?!” The head continued on, unflicnhed And now," as bullets, pitchforks, and one chainsaw, sailed past its head.

“Well, Eh,” Editors face began to sweat as serval ponies began to exit. “That didn’t work.” He let out a whinny and tried to flee as Crimson held onto his tail as The Great Mowage bellowed;

"Now, The Great Mowage, is here for your, SOULS!!!!"

As the voice let out its long, souls, more than half the crowd ran for it.

“Get back here!” Storm Chaser shouted.

“Cowards!” Crimson barked as she lost her grip on Editors tail Erica shoved past her.

“We will not—” AJ began, before a lightning bolt shot in on the ass. “Run away! Run away!”

Everyone else was convinced enough that it was time to go. The crowd, fighting and even biting each other for the exit, as the head continued to breath fire and launch thunderbolts. Eventually , the crowd managed to exit the room, but not before taking one last shot at the final pony on the room, AJ's ass as he let out a blood curling scream when he and Stormchaser were squeezed to fit through the door.

Once outside, the mob ran in any direction that was away from the demonic pony head, coming to the fact that Connie's blood was no longer worth their time. It turned out Lily Peet made a new video the following day.

****

Back inside the room, the pony head looked around the empty space, before it chuckled and said, "Alright, I think they're all gone. You come out now!"

From under a table, Connie poked his head out from under his sister Samba’s belly. The lioness had hidden him under the table, and under their belly. "Is it really over?" he asked timidly as Samba patted his head with their paw.

"Should be," Aspen replied, extinguishing her horn as the pony head faded out. "Don't see them causing anymore problems for you, bro."

"Yeah," Jessica Pedley, a yellow pegasus, said stepping out from behind a curtain, giggled, "I've always wanted to reenact that."

"That was sure a blast," Bright Idea smiled as she walked out with a mass of cables and fireworks on her back. "You don't think we went too far, did we?"

"Nah, I say far enough," Zebra replied, winking at the blue unicorn mare. :D

"Yeah," another sister, a dirty-brown pegasus, Fallen Wish, sighed. "I just hoped you learned a lesson as well, bro. That way, I won’t have to do the thing that I want to do to Foxwell."

"No kidding." Connie nervously smiled, not quite ready to leave the safety of his sisters. "Although... Summer may have mentioned wanting another foal one day..."

FallenWish rolled her green eyes. “”Dude, you already knocked up my child. I think you might know what my answer to that is. Although, wait till after you’re married to her, or else it will be a shotgun wedding after all.”

Everypony else groaned, but laughed while they made plans for a chainsaw proof bunker when that day would arrive.

Author's Note

Poor Connie XD good thing he has a lot of sisters too. Something for more smaller Da rift fans that you can fallow Through my sisters artwork
Dramatic reading coming soon too.