"Hey, Bon-Bon!"

by Prince Furo

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Human, Lyra, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Bon-Bon
Length: 1067

Lyra just can't wait to share her new thoughts and ideas with her best friend, Bon-Bon.

Lyra just can't wait to share her new thoughts and ideas with her best friend, Bon-Bon.

Published 2012-07-12 11:54:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-07-12 11:54:01 UTC

"Hey, Bon-Bon!"

“Hey, Bon-Bon! I just had a really cool thought!”

Bon-Bon looked up from where she was making sweets in the kitchen. Knowing the tendencies of her minty friend to obsess over a certain topic made Bon-Bon a bit hesitant to answer. But the way Lyra's eyes gleamed in excitement was too much for the cream colored mare to resist. She sighed, stopping what she was doing to join her friend in the living room on the sofa.

“...This has something to do with humans, doesn't it?”

Lyra nodded enthusiastically. Without answering her friend, the unicorn began her story.

“So the other day I was in Twilight Sparkle's library, looking for any books on humans. There were only a few, but the ones I could find gave me lots of information!”

Bon-Bon nodded where it seemed appropriate to, trying to seem like she was interested. To be honest, she didn't care much about humans at all... but Lyra sure did, so Bon-Bon put up with the mare's constant silly antics.

Lyra continued, “The most intriguing thing about humans is that they don't have fur like we do. Instead, they only grow hair in certain places, like on their heads,”

The creamy mare let out a long sigh. “I know that much, Lyra. You've told me that before. A few times before, actually.”

“No, no, it gets better! I promise!”

Bon-Bon sighed again, this one less noticeable than the last. She gestured for her friend to continue.

“Anyways, they only grow hair in certain places. Well, for the females at least. They grow the most of their hair on their heads, under their arms, and well... in another place! But the males grow hair alllll over. Isn't that weird?”

“Yes, that is pretty weird. But what does that have to do with your 'really cool thought'?” Bon-Bon asked. She was getting tired of hearing more useless facts and just wanted the conversation to be done and over with so she could get back to work.

“I'm getting there, I'm getting there. It's not polite to rush, Bonnie,” Lyra said, waving her hoof in front of her friend's face. A smirk was on the green unicorn's lips; an expression Bon-Bon was used to seeing whenever Lyra dabbled on the topic of her hobby.

Bon-Bon rolled her eyes dramatically, smiling a bit. “Fine, fine. Go on, then,” she replied. Lyra grinned.

“The weirdest thing about human hair... it only comes in, like, 5 or 6 different colors. And really boring ones at that! Black, brown, yellow, and sometimes red. For us we can have any possible color, or color combination!”

“That's only 4 different colors, genius.”

“Shhh, it's not polite to interrupt either! But take yourself for example, Bonnie. Your mane is pink and blue! It's impossible for humans to have that color hair, unless they use dyes like Mayor Mare does. I wonder how they tell each other apart, when every one of them has the same kind of hair color.”

“Uhm, yeah. How tragic.” Another roll of the earth pony's eyes.

“Oh, isn't it? Those poor humans!” Lyra said, as if she really were upset by it. It didn't stop her from continuing her idea, much to Bon-Bon's displeasure.

“Know what else is weird? The other places they have hair are the same color as the hair growing on their head. So if a female human had brown hair on her head... in theory, she would have brown hair down there, too!”

“Uh, Lyra? What do you mean by 'down there'?” Bon-Bon asked.

A light shade of pink appeared on the minty unicorn's cheeks. “Y-you know! In their private part!”

Bon-Bon groaned slightly, had their conversation really come to this?

“A-anyways! That's what my really cool thought was about!”

“Tell me again why I'm friends with you...” Bon-Bon muttered to herself. Of course she knew why her and Lyra were friends; they've known each other for years. Bon-Bon and Lyra also keep each other sane: Lyra being the one to spice up Bon-Bon's rather boring life, and Bon-Bon being the one to keep Lyra in touch with reality. The cream colored mare brought her attention back to her friend who had already started blabbering away about her 'really cool thought'.

“...So if a female human has brown hair on both her head and in her private part... would that mean if I were suddenly transformed into a human, I would have light green hairs in my private part?” Lyra said, suddenly in a shy tone as if she were embarrassed.

Bon-Bon couldn't help but laugh a bit at the words coming out of her friend's mouth. Sure, Lyra has had some crazy ideas and thoughts... but none of them even could come close to comparing with this.

“Yes, Lyra. I suppose you would.”

“And if YOU were a human, Bonnie, the hairs in your private part would be both blue and pink!”

“Yes they would. Now can we please talk about something else?”

“Do you think they'd be arranged the same way your mane is? Or in some weird different pattern?”

“Lyra, that's enough.”

“How much hair do you think humans even have down there? I mean, don'tcha think that it'd get in the way of a lot of stuff?”

Bon-Bon's hoof greeted her face. She groaned, “What kind of stuff?”

Lyra's face became flushed again, the blush more visible this this time around.

“Y-you know! Stuffy stuff! The kind of things ponies do when they like each other a whole lot!”

“I can't believe we're still on this topic,” Bon-Bon said to her friend. “Was the entirety of your 'really cool idea'? Because I need to get back to work soon.”

The unicorn looked down, her once present grin turned upside down. She didn't answer the earth pony, surprisingly. Bon-Bon sorta felt bad, but Lyra had taken conversations like this too far quite often. She should know better.

The mare resumed to her spot in spot in the kitchen, getting sweets ready to sell for tomorrow. Lyra looked up at her a few times with that same expression Bon-Bon simply couldn't resist.

After what seemed like centuries passed, (to Bon-Bon, at least), she eventually gave in.

“For Celestia's sake, Lyra. Just spit it out.”

“...So you know how Rainbow Dash's mane is, well, rainbow? Would that mean--”

“Yes, Lyra, it would. This conversation is over.”