The True Self

by Violetta Strings

When the Day is Embers

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Cadence awoke to the sound of birds chirping. When her eyes focused, and her head stopped spinning, she discovered that she was back inside her bedroom. The bed sheets were tangled about her arms and legs, her pillow was wet with her saliva, and she had a throbbing pain in her head. As she sat up, the birds chirruping outside seemed to turn into jackhammers, pounding away into her skull. Usually to have such a headache would mean having come back from a night on the town, gods, she hadn't been for a night out in decades.

Banishing the memory of her last foray into the wide world of nightclubs, something was hazily kicking at the back of her mind. Some strange memory she had chosen to forget. Trying to remember something like that was always hard, so she back traced to events before it. It was something about last night she couldn't remember, but she was asleep in her own bed the whole night, so why—?

Then her eyes widened. Everything came rushing back. The dreams; Twilight and Celestia, helping Luna with Nightmare, and the way their bodies looked—shining under the false light of Luna's dream.

A flush came to her cheeks, and Cadence noticed that her sheets were rather damp in another place. She ignored it, swung her feet around, and attempted to quell the singing heat in her cheeks. First port of call is a shower she thought. Long, relaxing shower.

She untangled herself from the bed linen, and stood up on shaky legs. Ignoring the burning between her thighs, Princess Cadence instead paced over into the en-suite bathroom. She left the bed in a mess. Hopefully the castle maidservants would take the sheets and wash them, without asking too many questions. Her mind had become filled with a singular thought, and that was the shower ahead. As though it would fix all of her problems. For the moment, it certainly served the purpose of filling her mind with no other thoughts, so that it couldn't wander into the events of last night, where she saw her Aunt and Nightmare locked together, their legs quivering, sweat beading on their immaculate, alabaster skin—

Shower!

As she stepped into the en-suite bathroom, she shed her nightclothes, letting them pool on the bathroom floor in a puddle of purple silk. As she walked into the bathroom proper, Cadence caught a glimpse of herself in the shower door. Their bathroom was the very definition of opulent, despite the Prince and Princess' reserved nature when it came to finery. There was a bathtub that could hopld ten people, a shower that functioned more as a small room in and of itself, a sink engraved with ivory and gold, and pristine white tiles along every wall. Whereas usually Princess Cadence would use these mirrors to assist with her hair, her makeup, or her general appearance, this time, in the shower glass, she caught a glimpse of herself; her appearance as a whole was disheveled; there was drool encrusted on the corner of her mouth, which she quickly wiped away. Her eyes had heavy, deep-burgundy bags underneath them, which would be impossible to cover with makeup. She didn't even have any excuse to wear makeup that day; she had the day off. Her hair was disheveled, but thankfully, not enough that a few minutes of love and care with her favourite Zebrican Spice shampoo couldn't cure.

She moved past her physical state, and into the mental one. Staring deep into her irises. She felt conflicted; tumultuous emotions waged war within her, and she had to fight to suppress a sigh. The niggling voice from last night—the one that told her it was okay to watch—was back in full force. She knew it was likely the residual shock from last night, but another part of her wondered if it wasn't. Why she delighted in seeing her aunt involved in such carnal act? Did tearing down the pedestal she had but her adoptive aunts on delight her in some way? Was the shock of discovering that they had desires really affect her that much?

It shouldn't have. Just like she shouldn't have been fantasizing about Luna's perfect skin, her generous 'assets', so voluptuously shaped and proportioned. Firm and attentive after thousands of years. Her hair, matted with sweat sticking to her body, which glistened like freshly cleaned marble.

She shook her head, turning away from her reflection before she could convince herself that it smiled at her. She was being silly, and thanks to her little fantasizing session with her damn reflection, she would have to pay extra attention to her thighs. While she meant to think that in a purely utilitarian way, a little tiny part of her mind purred at the implications.

The first thing Princess Cadence did when she got in the shower was blast herself with cold water. A long, scything blast at full power, right on her back. Once she was finished shrieking in shock at the sensation, she allowed herself the mercy of some hot water. Once the cold began to ebb away, replaced by the warm, she felt herself finally relax. Picking up her shampoo, a smile graced her lips once she squeezed some into her palm. Washing her hair was her favourite part of the shower. It was something she could truly enjoy; as her hair was something she was immensely proud of. She was glad to say that she had gotten young Twilight into the same sort of mindset; and even though the young teenage Sparkle sometimes neglected showers, and bodily hygiene as a whole (every teen went through that phase), she always kept her hair in good order.

Giggling to herself at the memory of her time spent babysitting a younger Twilight, Cadence slipped her hands through her magenta locks and sighed as the combination of warm water and her own fingers worked away her stress, her troubles, and every bad thought in her head. The shampoo worked itself up into a pleasantly-scented lather, and she let her head tilt backwards, imagining the hands to belong to the best masseuse in the world. Or her husband, depending on who was available at the time.

The fingers worked their magic, and Cadence felt everything melt away. Cadence's scalp had never been the most sensitive part of her body, but right then all the nerves felt like they were aflame. Her hands pressed and kneaded away in circular motions, working the soapy shampoo deeper into her hair. The aroma made her thing of her days as a younger woman, learning how to be a princess, babysitting jobs on the side just for fun, Twilight...

Twilight. Cadence's brow furrowed, but her eyes didn't open. She saw the woman as she was now; a princess in all her glory. A well-rounded woman with friends, family, noble ties, and a charge that would surpass her own one day. There was something else there, too, however. A shadow that consumed her. As Cadence watched, the lovely young woman transformed into what could only be described as a lustful interpretation of Twilight. Her purple summer dress gave way to stockings and lingerie, her skin took on a darker hue than it ever had before. Her eyes were positively alight with lecherous intent, and two fangs pierced the veil of darkness when she smiled; running her teeth over them in a silent promise. Gone was the innocent girl; gone was the friend Cadence had known forever, and gone was the gentle Princess of Friendship. In its place was a demon, and one that was sauntering towards Cadence with every step. Her hands took on a life of their own, gripping hard onto her scalp, just as the version of Twilight in her own mind reached her own hands forward, and gripped the sides of her head. Suddenly they weren't her hands anymore, they belonged to this demoness...

Just like I do.

There was something through the fog that she had to remember, something that troubled her about that thought. But, oh, the fingernails that raked across her scalp, and the fire that they left behind, just made her not care. She could belong to anyone in Equestria and not care, as long as the sensations never stopped. She felt something cold against her back, and realised it was a wall. Water cascading down her breasts, down her stomach and thighs, but in the world behind Cadence's eyelids, it was the velvety magic of this apparition, playing across her body, dancing over her flesh.

Cadence was panting, and the hands worked up into a frenxy. She was sure her hair was becoming knotted, she was sure there were going to be marks, and she was sure that it was supposed to hurt. But oh, the pain was pleasure, the knots didn't matter, the marks were a sign of ownership that she would wear proudly around the castle. She opened her mouth to moan, and a pair of lips took her own without question; without permission or pause. They felt like they belonged—they felt right, they felt like they should be nowhere else except pressed up against hers.

When a tongue slithered into her mouth and wrapped around her own, she shuddered. Her knees buckled, and she collapsed onto the shower floor with a splash. Her nerves racked her body with pleasure, and the fantasy shattered into a million pieces as she came back to the present.

Gradually the rush faded, replaced with a crushing realisation. Cadence's eyes went as wide as saucers, while her pupils shrunk to pinpricks. That did not just happen! She ripped her fingers out of her hair, and slammed the hot water tap. Another shriek, and another jet of cold water spritzed her back.


Shining Armour was humming to himself as he cooked breakfast. He knew that, whatever Cadence had done last night, it had probably been hard on her. She had been tossing and turning, and moaning for half the night. Whatever could have caused that was obviously no laughing matter. It was why, then, that he had taken it upon himself to make her favourite breakfast; pancakes and coffee. He had, unfortunately, not been strong enough to wait for her while he cooked in their small little kitchenette, and the temptation had caused him to eat his pancakes while hers were cooking. Now, as he made the coffee and did a little spell to make sure hers stayed warm, he had to resist the urge to eat hers as well.

It was difficult, considering how close they were, and how good they smelled, and how he could 'feel' them within his magical field, but he would endure.

When he heard the door to their private kitchen open, he turned around with a smile. One parts relief, one part happiness. "Hello dear," he paused, taking stock of what Cadence looked like. Her hair was wet, obviously fresh out of the shower, her eyes were heavy with bags, and her face was set in a permanent thunderous expression.

"Wow." Shining arched his brow. "You look..." the force of Cadence's glare made him rethink his words with a gulp of fear. "Beautiful as always," He beamed at her. She didn't smile back.

Instead, she marched over to the small table without any words at all, and thudded herself down in the chair. A moment later, her forehead made contact with the Everfree Mahogany.

Shining winced. "Rough night?"

Cadence scoffed without mirth. "I was right, for one thing."

"You were?" Shining tilted his head.

Cadence looked up at him, her face one of sorrow now. "Twilight, and Celestia, have both created their own versions of Nightmare Moon."

Shining dropped the coffee mug he was holding, and started walking over towards where he had left his guard uniform for the day.

As he was halfway through strapping his chestpiece on, Cadence finally recovered from her sorrowful musings, and fixed him with a confused glower. "What are you doing?"

"We have to do something!" Shining responded, with a fearful gaze.

"Oh, right," Cadence rubbed her temples and sighed. "I have a way to help them."

Shining paused, looking at her in shock. "You do? You thought it up last night?" He made his way over to the table and took a seat across from her.

"With Luna's help, yeah," Cadence nodded.

"Oh. Well, what is it?"

"I tested it out on Luna, with Nightmare, and..." Princess Cadence paused. How could she tell Shining what she had seen? Would he still love her? Would he think of her as a freak? Would he never look at her the same way again?

"And?" Shining pressed her for more information when she fell silent.

Cadence gulped. "I don't know if it worked, but it certainly did something," she said. It wasn't a lie, it just wasn't the whole story.

"Well that's good, right?" Shining's smile was genuine and radiant. And most importantly of all; infectious. Cadence found herself smiling back.

"Yes, it's good," she said.

He got up and walked back to the counter, where he poured two cups of coffee, and picked up her pancakes with his magic. Carrying the breakfast over to the table, he set the plate down in front of Cadence; whose eyes lit up like fairy lights. Shining took his seat again after he placed the coffee mug beside his wife, and sipped his own beverage. It took approximately three seconds for Cadence to finish eating the first of the fluffy pancakes. It was very undignified, and certainly not princess-like, but she had been dating Shining for years, and had been married to him going on five now. It wasn't exactly beneath her for him to see her eating like a slob.

She was in the middle of sipping her delightful coffee—feeling the caffeine banish the exhaustion—when Shining spoke again. "And now you can help Twilight, and Celestia!"

She sucked in a breath. Burning coffee filled her lungs. She coughed and hacked, spluttered and gagged, and collapsed onto the table with her hand over her head. The exhaustion was back. The horror and the trepidation, the residual thoughts from her shower. "Oh god," she shook her head. "I can can't I?"

Shining regarded her with an expression halfway between hurt and scorn. "No please," he said, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Sound less enthused about the whole thing."

Cadence squeezed her eyes shut. "I'm sorry, Shiny, but, if you knew what Luna did, then..." she paused, snapping her mouth shut with a click.

"What did she do?" Shining's expression softened.

"She, and Nightmare, they..." It was too late to back out now, but still Cadence couldn't bring herself to say it. Saying it made it real, and that would make her feelings real, too.

"They...?" Shining drew the word out as he leaned forward.

Cadence sighed heavily. "They had sex, right there. In the dream, in front of me."

There was a pregnant pause. The crickets were too embarrassed to squeak; the kettle too perturbed to whistle. If a pin dropped somewhere in the castle, they would have heard it, but it seemed like the whole palace was holding its breath at this realisation.

"Oh." Shining shattered the fragile silence into a thousand different shards, each one stressing his inflection on that one word, making it the worst, most ominous word Cadence had ever heard.

"Yeah," she said in reply. She waited.

Shining hummed, arching his brows up while he drunk his coffee. "That's—"

Cadence sat bolt upright, slamming her hand down on the table, and pointing her other one at her husband in an accusing fashion. "If you say 'that's hot' I will neuter you, and turn you into a girl!"

He held up his hands in defense. "I was going to say 'that's not what I expected'!"

Cadence dropped her hands. "Oh."

Shining put a finger to his chin, and he nodded to himself. "But now you're worried you're gonna have to watch Celestia and my sister do the same thing." It wasn't a question it was a statement. He didn't even look at her for confirmation.

Cadence wilted under the silence. "Well, I mean, so far 100% of cases have responded in that way, it's reasonable to think the trend would continue," she said. She wasn't sure if it was a joke or not, but it was rattling around in her head. One case did not a trend make, but that one case was every case she had taken like this, and it had ended with some intense self-love indeed.

Shining laughed, and stood up, walking over to the counter to place his empty mug in the sink. "You know," he said over his shoulder, "I always wondered where Twilight got her neuroses, because it wasn't from our parents." His head ,moved to one side, dodging the coffee mug that had rocketed towards him with a pulse of pink magic. He caught it with his own, and set it onto the counter beside his before it could smash. "Look." He turned back around, and braced his hands on the counter. "You're worried about the wrong things. All you should be focusing on is the positives; you helped Luna with Nightmare Moon! I don't know the specifics, but she's been dealing with that monster for a thousand years."

"She wasn't a monster," Cadence said. "Not really. None of them are. They're just pieces of the person that the conscious mind doesn't want to face."

"Well, either way," Shining waved a dismissive hand, "she's been unable to face it for a thousand years, and you helped her get rid of it." He paused. "Her. Whatever."

Cadence nodded slowly. "I guess,"

"If you can help Twilight, or Celestia with their problems, before something terrible happens, then that's a win," he said with a determined nod. "Even if you have to..." he gulped, disgust on his face. "Watch Twi... watch them love themselves."

"That's exactly the reason why Luna and Nightmare did it I think," Cadence said. "I thought that they had to love those parts of themselves, see them differently. But Luna definitely took it a bit too literally."

Shining hummed in agreement, sitting back down. "Who's next then?"

"I don't know," Cadence shook her head. "The only way I can do it is in dreams, and if Luna isn't comfortable with the prospect of watching her sister do that then there isn't much we can do."

"Well, you don't really have to watch, just... start the ball rolling and dip out," Shining very artfully hedged around saying the actual words.

"And what if it goes wrong?" Cadence asked suddenly.

"How could it go wrong?" Shining retorted.

"I don't know, I've only done it once!" Cadence responded in a shrill tone.

"Alright, well," Shining moved his hand downward, telling her to keep her voice quiet. "First thing you need to do is talk to Luna."

"Are you insane? No, scratch that," Cadence very quickly backpedaled. "You are insane!"

"As insane as thinking Nightmare Moon can be defeated with self-love?" Shining put on a saccharine smile and batted his lashes like a naive country girl.

"Love is the perfect cure for hatred," Cadence folded her arms. "Even hatred of the self."

"And talking to someone is the perfect cure for awkward situations," Shining said with a nod of his head. "Besides, you can't help Twilight or Celestia without her, so you'll have to burn that bridge sometime."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Cadence drolly replied.

"You have to get into these sorts of circumstances every now and then," Shining said.

Cadence laughed. "Every now and then?" she asked. "There shouldn't have been a then, and there certainly shouldn't have to be a 'now'! They're my aunts, and Twilight... I've known her since she was a kid!" She suddenly stood up, knocking over her chair. "How do I suddenly think about watching her do that?! With herself, too!"

"Cadence," Shining got up as well, walking over to his wife and taking her into his arms. The small gesture of comfort made Cadence stop, and all her worries melted once more. She wrapped her own arms around her husband, and nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck, where the only thing that existed were him and her, and their heartbeats.

"I know that you'll be fine," Shining said, running his hands down her back. His shirt was now wet with water from her dripping hair, but he didn't care. "I know that you'll do everything you can to help those you care about, even if this is the only way to do it." He leaned his head down slightly and planted a kiss on the top of her head. "I love you, Cadence."

"I love you too," Cadence sniffed, hitting his chestplate playfully. "Dammit, why do you have to make so much sense?"

"It has been known to happen," SHining replied, letting Cadence out of his embrace. "I didn't become the Captain of the Guard just with my dashing, roguish good looks, you know." He clicked his tongue, winking at her, and she giggled.

"Alright, alright." She sighed. "I'll talk to Luna about this, and I'll help them."

Shining smiled at her. "Thatta girl," he said in his best country drawl, pulling out her chair.

Cadence deadpanned, but took the offered seat. "Never say that again."

Shining smiled. "I never want to."




Author's Note

Anyone who has read this story and the one about Diamond would probably realise that I love writing shower scenes. Unapologetically so.

Ta~

--Violetta.

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