You Learn Something New Every Day
Rainbow Dash laughed at the image on her computer screen while Sunset was absorbed in whatever was going on on her phone. Sunset had just had dinner with Rainbow and her parents, who were… interesting. What made it super awkward for her was not mentioning that their wonderful daughter who could do no wrong had recently acquired a fully functioning magical dildo made out of bean paste to do… whatever with. Actually, Sunset was rather curious what Rainbow did with the… the beanis. The word still made her cringe internally every time she heard it, but she might as well ask to sate her curiosity.
“So, uh, Rainbow,” Sunset asked as she manipulated her phone with her thumb while avoiding eye contact.
Rainbow laughed again at her computer screen. “Yeah, Sunset?”
“The… the beanis,” Sunset said before a slight cringe overtook her body, “what do you do with it?”
“Well, um,” Rainbow said, a few mouse clicks accenting her speech, “I… uh… “ she said before swiveling her chair to face Sunset. “Actually, can you keep a secret?”
“I don’t know,” Sunset deadpanned. “Maybe you should ask your parents about that.”
Rainbow’s eyes widened to the size of saucers. “Wait, what did you tell my parents?”
‘No, it’s not”―Sunset groaned frustratedly―”yes, I can keep a secret.”
“No I wanna know what you told my―”
“I didn’t tell your parents anything.”
Rainbow’s features softened and a slight grin appeared on her face. “Okay, that’s good.” She exhaled. “The secret is… the beanis isn’t for me.”
Sunset looked up from her phone and frowned. “What do you mean it isn’t for you?” She grunted. “I was there at the dinner table when you told them about how you like to moisturize your ‘fetish sculpture’,” she said, the last part framed in air quotes. “Seriously, do you know how awkward is it to eat when your friend’s parents ask them about the magical dildo they saw in their room and then listen to their friend dance their way through an admittedly genius explanation?”
“Well, um,” Rainbow said as she steepled her hands. “That’s what the secret is.” She blushed a delicate shade of crimson. “It’s for, uh… Fluttershy.”
Sunset pursed her lips as her own eyes widened. “What?” She shook her head. “That still doesn’t explain why you have it.”
“I, uh,” Rainbow said as she looked away and lightly clapped her hands together, “I use it on her.”
Sunset’s jaw slightly dropped, then she slowly closed her mouth. “… Oh. Um,” Sunset said as she bit her lip, “good for you guys, I guess.” She looked away. “I didn’t know she was, into that?”
“Well, it’s not that she’s super into it,” Rainbow said with a nervous chuckle, “it’s just that we were brainstorming ideas for a penis replacement that would feel realistic after I accidentally impregnated her one time and we were both too embarrassed to go to the pharmacy so we could Plan B the shit out of the embryo so I asked Rarity for a favor and that got awkward because before I knew it I was balls deep inside of her and then after I told Fluttershy that she got kind of weird around me for a week and it’s better if we just figure out ways to avoid that in the future.”
Sunset pursed her lips again as her eyes narrowed at Rainbow Dash, who now wore a grin framed by her reddening cheeks.
Sunset sighed. She then sighed again. She opened her mouth, and sighed yet again. “Rainbow Dash, I think you just told me you have a penis.”
Rainbow blinked a few times. “Y-yeah.” She scratched the back of her head. “You mean you didn’t know?”
“I can’t think of a time where the topic would have come up, even,” Sunset said as she grabbed the right half of her face.
An awkward silence permeated the air between the bepenised young woman and the not-bepenised young woman as Sunset absorbed the deluge of awkward personal information that Rainbow Dash had just bequeathed her with. Rainbow tapped the tips of her fingers across each other while Sunset clenched her jaw a few times. She wasn’t sure how to absorb and process all of this right now, so she decided that she wouldn’t. Sunset faced Rainbow Dash and put on a strained smile.
“I guess, it’s prudent of you to explore safe sex options,” Sunset said as she clasped her hands together, “however unusual they might be.”
Rainbow barked out a laugh. “Safe. I remember this one time I started choking her and her eyes got all crazy and her face started turning―”
“That’s enough, Rainbow Dash.” Now it was Sunset’s turn to blush. “I don’t need to hear the sordid details of yours and Fluttershy’s sex life. Or why she needed a penis made of beans for that.”
“She says it’s because she like the feeling of hot jizz spraying inside of her―”
“Stop. Please.” Sunset clenched her jaw again.
“No I mean she really likes it.” Rainbow Dash shivered. “It’s like an obsession. She says stuff like ‘I want you to make me pregnant’ while we’re fucking because I guess it turns her on and honestly it’s kind of hot while we’re banging but afterwards I start questioning my life.”
“… And we’re dropping this.”
Rainbow’s eyes darted left and right as she grimaced. “Sorry, it’s just that usually when people find out about my dick they get all ‘can I see your dick’ and then it ends up somewhere inside of them.” Her grimace turned into a grin. “So it was kind of a relief when you didn’t ask to see my dick so I guess I got kind of vulnerable and kind of dumped all of my personal stuff on you.”
Sunset licked her lips. “It’s… it’s fine. It’s just kind of, you know, I didn’t expect today to turn into finding out two of my best friends are having sex and one of them has a penis, is all.”
“Well, I guess you learn something new every day,” Rainbow said with a slight chuckle. “So, the real reason I invited you over is that I got a new racing game and was looking for someone to play with with.”
“Yeah, that sounds great!” Sunset said as she beamed.
“Good, because I’m going to rape you so hard in it!”
Sunset gave Rainbow Dash a sidelong glance. “That’s a poor choice of words right now.”
“Heh, I guess,” Rainbow said with a sheepish grin. “Sorry.”
